 The tell us the stories, the challenges they overcame and how they impacted the society, hence the strength of a woman. Since today I am joined by a very resilient, brilliant woman who has actually just not only conquered her challenges in life but she has also decided to give back to the society. So my guest today is known as Abigail Okelo. She is the founder of Jawabu for communities. Hi, Abigail. How you doing? I'm fine. Thanks for having me here today. Hey, Karibu, Karibu, Karibu. I'm really excited. I guess I'll tell you why because let me just, can I give them information before they have this conversation? So behind the scene, Abigail is telling me that it's been a beautiful year for you, right? And right now, is it today that you're celebrating your anniversary? Exactly. Hey, how many years? Nine years in marriage and I don't regret. Oh, fantastic. I love the last part. I love the last part. I do not regret. Happy nine years of anniversary. Happy anniversary to you. Nine years, that's a lot. But I'm glad that you enjoying your marriage as well. So before even getting too deep into that, let's all start from the beginning. Someone is meeting Abigail for the first time. Who is Abigail? Tell us a brief story of who Abigail Okelo is. Okay, Abigail. My name is Abigail Okelo, founder of Jawabu for communities. And I was born in the slums of Kipera and a first born of six children where my only dream was to get married to thinking that I'm breaking the cycle of poverty Most girls in the slums usually think that when you get married you're actually running away from poverty not keeping in mind that you're actually going through the cycle of poverty because most of the time you just want to leave your home to go in this small house with this man forgetting that you'll also have kids and you will be conjectured because most of the time the girls want their own space. So I just wanted to get married and I never used to perform well because I was also bullied in primary school. All I wanted was just to get married. What was going through your mind? Was it like a rescue situation? Do you feel like when you get married you'll be like he's rescuing you from this poverty? Exactly. And then I was really bullied so I thought like I didn't have any chance in life with education or any career. So I thought maybe my full-time job will become a housewife. Yeah so that is maybe the vision and the dream then. So I went through primary school where I was bullied because I came from the slums, of course being beaten up by boys, being abused. I remember there's this specific boy who used to call me the ugly one boy. My middle name was one boy. The ugly one boy and I had no self-esteem, no self-value. So when I went to high school I made sure that I don't tell people where I am from and my story. Ah because you have experienced that in primary where people are looking down on you because of where you come from. Before you get into high school, tell me how was life generally? Like what was the setup like in your home and just the environment living in Kibra? So when you go to school you've been bullied, when you come back home these high crime rates, prostitution, teenage pregnancy and the list is just endless. So sometimes you come from school where you're being bullied or you're beaten up because you come from the slums and then when you come back home you're chased by this drug addicts like these guys that take marriage one and things like that and then sometimes there's a lot of high rape cases so and then talk about tribal clashes when these lua, nubians, kikuyu lus, clashes and so like the place was just tense and then sometimes you're busy playing like with other girls and then you just find like there's a man eyeing you somewhere so there's a lot of child molestations yeah and things like that. All right Abigale, take me through your relationship with your mum. How was it? My mum was very hard working. Of course she wanted the best for us. She was also an ambitious woman and she left her village to come to Nairobi. You know the rural urban migration where you want to have a better life not only for you and even for your children. So my mum was very hard working but most of the time she was out looking for staff to help us you know like maybe get good education because I was taken to a good school and that's why they had to work hard to make sure that like I get a good process of life rather than the way like they came from a kind of a life where they had to struggle to be worthy. And your dad, how was that relationship? Because I feel like most girls are baby you know daddy's girl but I would like to understand like your relationship with your dad how was it? My dad he is such a good man. He really like loved us to get good education. He made sure that he would rather like have torn clothes and you know shoes that are not in good condition but made sure that we had proper education. He will like even live our other siblings just like to go on hungry stomachs but to make sure that you have gone to school you travel to school. He has supported our ambitions whichever course you wanted to do and he believed in women empowerment like making sure like he used to say that he just really worked hard to make sure he's he's been my number one supporter all through. Yes he did. With no scholarship because no one was educated me through masters. Fantastic. Fantastic. Now what I'm getting is here is Abigail is in the parents are loving and supporting and then there is an aspect whereby Abigail feels that the only way to run away from this situation the environment I mean when it comes to poverty congestion back at home and it's through marriage right. And that was the dream there because one thing you should understand is the slums is that you are not exposed to opportunities and information so the only thing you know is getting married. It's just your environment actually. Yeah you just know that every beautiful girl you see around must have a boyfriend. Who is providing all that. Exactly. These small small things like pads. So why didn't Abigail like give up along the way when he dropped out in school back in primary but she went ahead with education. Yes. What was she chasing. So when I went to high school and of course like I didn't want anyone to know that I came from the slums because I do want to repeat the same experience that I had in my primary school. So I used to lie a lot like even the number of siblings we have like no no I knew who I was so I remember there is a lady by the name Kate she started just like the way girls usually have different stories and she started telling me about her brother being in Uganda and that was it. That was my turning point like the brother was in Uganda doing for five on six and now that's how I got the desire to continue studying and now instead of leaving our congested home to get married now to live Kibira to go to another nation. So that's how I got another dream. So an ambition and desire so like to get better education. Don't forget that in my high school I used to get D minus overall grade. So that is in form three that I'm getting information. Kate's brother is in Uganda doing for five on six. So before even continuing where was your mental space well in high school because you're getting D minus and then there's no aspiration before this before this information about you know your friend's brother being in a different country and another dream being born out of that. So where was your mental space at this particular point? Is it that I just get done school and get my exactly and then again I just didn't care like why should I study what will education like benefit me in the future. So when you get married you don't need certificates or you know degrees and things like that. So yeah I just didn't care at the moment and as I've told you why when you're living in this lands the only thing that Ayangal is given or the dream that Ayangal is shown is to get married that is the only dream that is there. Okay take me through now the new information has come your way that you can actually travel abroad. A new dream is born so take me through the turning point. Yeah so when I got the information that actually this form five from six and I just knew in Kenya we just had like the eight for four system I just got very excited and in my form three I started now working very hard to actually now recover the wasted years because I never used to go for prets I used to sleep when you doing like exams and those cuts it is so funny I like I just didn't care physics I'll get zero one first cut zero two second and then overall grade like maybe maybe minus something percent. So now I had to recover all the wasted times because I wanted to go to Uganda remember I'm running our program. So and then also the the other thing in this land is that when you start being ambitious as a younger people try and pull you you know back like the same level okay so I'm getting to now when I get the information I know just that getting the desire to live to live okay before even get to now the turning point there's a new dream now Abigela has received and she's now trying to work on a grade so we're going to take a short break and then we'll be right back so guys back at home make sure you stay tuned uh we'll taking a short break and we'll be right back we don't know why that song has been also uh ringing behind my uh you know the head or consistent is one of those so when you listen they don't actually stop they keep on they keep on going on in your head welcome back to why in the morning the segment is strength of a woman is celebrating women today and a student joined with Abigela Keva she's taking her through her story all the way from Kibura to now uh getting into a space of opportunities and aspiring for more in terms of our dreams so Abigela we loved it at when you in high school from three there's new information that your friend's brother is in Uganda I will get like a tema here it is kumbe people can actually go out to the country and and actually pursue from five and six I want that and I'm going to now change the narrative of my grades and do better so there we go let's pick it up from there sure uh as I said earlier like I just used to get like overall grade of DT minus and I used to feel proper so now as I said that I had to make sure like I recovered the wasted time so when I I started now studying hard and then also trying to apply for schools in Uganda so when I got to my form you're being intentional about it now I think when I was in form 4 when we were just done with our mugs I started like asking around has anyone ever to been get when I went back home and then there was this boy he's called Dennis that was actually studying in Uganda but I think form 3 in Uganda he called senior 3 so I asked him give me the postal address for you school and then he gave me and I wrote a letter to the school my desire to do my HSC it's called HSC in Uganda like my form 5 from 6 or in Kenya you can say advanced level and they actually replied the mail the letter without my KCAC results and I was admitted with my mugs results and so that's how I started planning to leave the country and of course leaving the slums fantastic so all it took for you is a new dream exactly and information that I didn't have that is you you necessarily don't get it in the slums so for you it all along it was just lack of exposure exactly fantastic so here you are you've been admitted to you know they have accepted you to be part of their school and just pursue you on an advanced level for 5 and 6 with your mok results exactly now take me through that journey now so I remember when I got the admission letter my dad was so scared he was like no in Uganda you know HIV and AIDS you remember like our fathers usually I didn't want to release us you know you're still young you're 17 18 years they're like you cannot travel to another you're too young and was there the the aspect of finances as well yeah was there a hindrance yeah but Ugandan education is a little bit cheaper than you will be shocked I used to pay 9 000 Kenyan shillings per term boarding school you know when you change it to Ugandan currency it's like 250 thousand like a quarter million so I my dad allowed me now to travel to Uganda he actually he's a linichorea like the map of how I'll go to I'll take a bus to Kampala then from Kampala I ask for the task keep a taxi parks and then how I'll get to my school so when I went to light college I joined my advanced level I never looked back I studied hard I think I was number one through out until I joined university like now Makerere university so that's how I was admitted to Makerere university oh my goodness from D from D minus to be actually the first in your class exactly and all he took is just just change the narrative and just have a new information and motivation why didn't you look back what was that resilience and consistency on your end why didn't you look back I just did not want like to be another statistics like a teenage mother a school dropout and you know even though you finished your form for like where will you get like a good job with your form for certificate and then the more I was now exposed to this other country the more like I learned new things that I didn't know when I was in Kenya and now like my ambition now to even you know myself value and self-esteem was also growing at the time and of course I was feeling good about myself I was no longer at the ugly one boy you know alright another self-awareness exactly allow me to take you back initially you mentioned that when you when you in primary school there was issue of bullying the environment was negative to a point whereby I believe there was no confidence and also when it comes to just self-awareness and self-worth as well yeah now in this particular in a new country yeah they do their things in a very different way of culture is different did you experience culture shock of course when they forced me to kneel down while washing a man's hand and yeah you know the submission of the Uganda woman and I was like I have never done this to my own father why should I and they told me like that when you go to Rome you know the romance exactly and it was also considered rude if you kneel a certain way like you need yeah there's a way you go about exactly so this is interesting okay so how do you these that so how do you do it your you kneel down when you're you're sitting on your like legs you sit on your legs well not kneeling straight oh okay yeah so but I had I was trained by some of my friends also and of course how to invite a man back home things that we were never taught yeah and then took take me through the the aspect of self-worth confidence and also self-awareness how did you build that through time so I with education and exposure as I said earlier mine was to make sure don't go back to the slums and of course I started feeling good about myself and of course also believing in myself when I was almost finishing my university someone invited me to Botswana so that's why I did my internship now you can imagine from Kibera slums to Uganda now you're in a South African country doing your internship and you know all the self esteem the self value and the self awareness though at times I'll crumble in not forgetting my experience when I was growing up but at least I was already empowered both by the exposure the experience the education and of course being encouraged by others through the process and also seeing women that have gone before you and breaking the barriers fantastic yeah uh you mentioned was it late college yeah uh what did you pursue there I did uh in Uganda it's not like Kenya when you finish your form for when you're doing your advanced level you take the four subjects that you excelled in your all levels so I did history economics kiswa hili and divinity so divinity is uh is the sari that you used to do yeah in Kenya so I did it's called the head stroke k yeah so that is what I did in my form for my form five form six now in Botswana internship exactly take me through that so I went as a as an intern exchange I threw an organization called Isaac it's a university organization that helps students to work abroad so I was doing my internship in University of Botswana and then went to SOS students villages so in Botswana I was more of doing business entrepreneurship with new students like the first year students and then I was also doing more of youth empowerment and you know like kind of social development and I think that's where like even my journey started of trying to give back to the community because through my experience and internship and the people that were mentoring me then they exposed me to a world that I could not have gotten the exposure in this country yeah so that is basically that is what I was working with the youth yeah so there's uh there's a high probability that a young person is watching you or watching this conversation right now and they're following up with your story and they're relating it on a very personal level because of the challenges the background they come from yeah and they feel like uh there's no opportunities completely thanks to social media right now I can be able to log in and get to see what people from Nigeria doing exactly a seya doing and I just what I can be in a position to aspire more which I believe it was not there during your time exactly so right now I can be able to see this exposure yeah these opportunities out there but I don't know how to get there so what will be your advice to that particular person you can actually dream and dream again and there are very many opportunities outside there there are very many uh full scholarships in like in different countries I have seen people go to Israel to do like a different master's degree on full scholarship there's also Sweden where there's also full scholarship for institute Swedish institute they actually even give you your air travels accommodation and food just as you've said most of the young people are on social media that they are always on maybe Facebook Instagram why don't you just google like google those calls that give scholarships and then google those uh you know there are also scholarships in this country uh like when we continue on with my journey I'll mention about a project that I'm doing with the young people in rehabilitation centers and the youths from outside that have not been able to get like tertiary education where we are training on solar technology and it's full sponsored where we make sure you're certified by the government and you're also licensed so we get and that is for both job creation and employment so there are very many opportunities and this will also get good matters who can work with them and you know help them through to get to where they want to be all right good stuff there and then there's the aspects of you now traveling to easter I like to pursue uh is it your master's yeah yes so before I went to Israel I got like a like a short contract also to work with the street kids with an organization called Testifit and then immediately I got I had I just as you said you go on whatever google and try looking for schools but then I wanted to become a diplomat a story for another day so I was and my first degree was in bachelor in arts social sciences so I applied conflict resolution and mediation that is masters in public policy at Tel Aviv University in Israel so I got admitted and then I traveled to Israel Tel Aviv the only African girl the entire class now it is also started triggering the girl was from the only girl from the slums and in a good school I was in Olympic primary so you can imagine you now have to fight with the experiences that you had but the memories exactly but I had good friends who worked with me and uh some uh whatever students that worked with me and the mentors at the time though it was pressure of course it comes with it you do not have and then it was like an executive masters where you're there uh okingia kwa derasa una toko ke graduate so books books books research and research yeah take me through you've mentioned something very important that you're here in uh in in the university in Israel and your batley uh the young girl from kibra the memories that you carry on take me through the the imposter syndrome the aspect of you feel like do I really belong here did you get into that space so you question do I really belong here I actually wanted to come back home yeah because as you as you've just said like the memories are triggered you you're like I don't belong you know I am my pride because this was Jewish from the diaspora those guys are right so in this class you're competing with them and then we were doing mediation like not the kenyan style you see like in kenya where when someone like does anything wrong the family is called and then mediation is done now this is where mediator is called you have never had that experience you don't even know about counselors so sometimes I'll feel like I am not enough to whatever that I was being given there but as I've said I think the people who realized uh the what I was going through and enough times I'd say them going back and these are actually uh a certain lady from Nigeria and who was in a diplomatic class who went back home and blocked everyone so it needs someone as I've said even previously you need someone to work with you to mentor you and to continually like encourage you that you can do it you can make it yeah you've got it in you yeah