 So a group of us were on vacation in the Bahamas and the topic of anal play came up and I casually mentioned, yeah, I've tried it before. If a guy's into it, I definitely will stimulate his peace spot. And the guy that I was hooking up with at the time wanted no part of it. He literally hopped out of the pool, soaking wet, grabbed his sneakers, and he's like, I'm not gonna be seen with a girl who openly talks about stimulating guys in that way because I don't want people to think that I'm into it. And literally seconds later, you hear his car tires like go reaching out of our apartment complex and he never talked to me again. What's going on everybody? Listen, what you're about to watch right now is a little clip from Shan's podcast, Lovers and Friends. She's interviewing Tahoe and Orlando from Hard and Soft. It's an incredible interview. You gotta check out the full thing after this. I promise you, you're not gonna regret it. All right, now go listen to this. What would you think the average person would consider a freaky man? He does probably one or two things that the average person would do. If you put a toe in your mouth, then you're freaky. Yeah. That's right. See, I would even push it. I think that they would consider something like he spits in my mouth or like he chokes. Yeah, some kind of fluid exchange, but I don't even think that they think of that because there is such a limitation on activities that a heterosexual man can, or a man who has sex with women can do. And I think that's the communication aspect. Being able to be open. Like how open is a heterosexual black man really gonna be about his kinks? Because kinks for a heterosexual black man normally are things that you're gonna tuck away because the community is gonna shun you for that. You know what I'm saying? Men will shun you for it. Women will shun you for it. You know what I'm saying? Your family might shun you for it. So you're not gonna say, hey, I like being tied up. Or you know what I mean? I like somebody to punch me in my nuts. There's no space for that in our community. But with us being able to communicate and talk, and I think obviously for her the first thing was, do you like a finger in your butt? And I was like, I'm not against it. I don't, I don't. Show me what you mean? Can I get an example? I'm not like trusting for it. But hey, it's you. I trust you. If that's what you wanna do, you know, fuck it. Let's just have fun. And we had that type of fun. And then we started exploring more and I hired two dominatrice for her birthday. She didn't know. She was just sitting up in the room. We were drinking and chiefing a little bit. And then I had one come in one door and another one coming another door with their whips. And I had to sit in the corner and watch. And it was an interesting time. Because all of a sudden- What a great birthday gift. All of a sudden- Jared, why have we never thought about that? I know. It's crazy. That's a great birthday gift. But then you realize in that, that's when I realized that sex was so much more because they had her screaming and yelling and they don't have a dick. They don't have that. And this is my main go-to. It's my dick. But they had her, yes mistress, yes mistress. And they're doing all of these things and she was so wet and happy and exhausted when it was over. I was like literally blown away by this experience. I think the anxiety probably just took me over. So they was like, come over here and let us take your dick. And my dick was like, no. Let's sit back here. No, no, no. I don't wanna. And from there we started going to sex parties or play parties and things of that nature. Even going to those, I was not as confident of a man that I normally am. I was not present at the first one or the second one really wasn't until I really got comfortable with the space that I was kinda even walk around, dick out. I remember the first time we went, she was like, oh, you wanna drink? And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go put my pants on. She's like, I got it. And she walked across the room with her panties to the thing and I'm just like, why is she so confident? Like, why is she so comfortable here? Cause I'm like, no, let me cover up. And I realized I had work. Sex toys for women makes a woman freaky. I mean, for I think more of an evolved man because there's still a sector of the population who looks at it like, if you use a sex toy, that means I'm not doing my job. So it becomes like an ego challenge for them. So there are still a large percentage of women who are struggling to even say like I use a vibrator in my free time to bring that into the conversation. But then on the flip side, there is a sector who was like, yeah, if you're into BDSM, if you bring in the Benoit balls, if you bring in the lubricant, like if you bring in the BDSM, like that's sexy and hot. But sex toys for women is progressive. It's liberating for men. It means you're a loser. That I think is the stigma that a lot of people are fighting against. Women have become more, the agency of their bodies, they have started doing more and learning their bodies more and exploring more. And if we as men just stay in one space, they're catapulting past us like on so many different levels. And it's like, yo, men need to realize that the power of sex is mental more than physical. It's about literally exploring every part of her being. So why wouldn't I want to incorporate that? Why wouldn't I want to meet her on that level? When my girl showed me her drawer full of dildos and vibrators and wrist straps and all types of stuff, I was faced with a fork in the road. Either I stay over here because she's gonna use these. This is not, I'm not replacing these. So either incorporate them or get lost. And that's kind of what got me into being a little bit more explorative. I don't think it's necessarily like a pulling or holding back. I think it's just a fear of being left behind really for men. I think it's very apparent that they see the direction of how like sexual liberation is going. And it is scary to feel left behind. So I think it's more of like a desperation reach than like I want you to be pulled back. Wait, don't you think, part of me, I think they're scared of what women are gonna think. Because like I said earlier, it's not just the other guys that you're scared of recruiting you. You're scared of the other women. There's an old thing where the guy says, don't tell the group chat that you used to finger pop me. You used to put your finger in my butt. Now I'm showing up to the dinner table and all your girls is looking at me laughing and you don't want to be the guy that's outed from the cool table by the ladies. We do most of our things that men do is for the ladies. But you have a lot of women that are holding on to archaic views of sex as well. And not saying that it's y'all fault, right? I'm not saying that it's women's fault, but men are scared of that judgment. Men, we do everything from wearing Jordans to chains to our waves, everything is to attract women. So if that one thing comes out, that I like to do this and now I'm ostracized from that community and I'm ridiculed by ladies all over, where do I go from here? I mean, I agree with you. Okay, popping in one more time. Now what you're about to listen to is me and a couple of my friends sitting down, having a good time talking. It's me, Chris, Kray and Los. And we're gonna be talking about everything you just heard from Orlando and Tahoe and our experiences. So this is just a clip as well. You gotta listen to the full thing as well. So after you're done watching this, go to the bio, click that link, go check it out. It's a very interesting, interesting podcast. I almost forgot the word podcast for a second, but you know what I'm saying. What are your first thoughts when you think about that interview? My first thought was all these years when I was younger, I thought I was a freak. I was not a freak. I was a slut. That's all I was. I was not a freak, man. Orlando, you were a freak. I was just promiscuous as hell. That's all. Yes. What about you guys? Once I heard that, I was like, yeah, I was like, I don't really, I don't think I'd be classified as a freak to be honest no more. Not a freaky dude apparently. I don't wear dildos on my face. And that's okay. It's another level. It's a different level. What is considered a freaky guy? Exactly what they were saying at first, like put a toe in your mouth. Yeah, spit in your mouth. You feel me, you eat some ass. Yeah, that's like the level. You're like, oh, you're in your mouth. Yeah, exactly. Well, and then you hear his stories and you're like, oh. I'm not a freak. Maybe. Well, do you think that's because of socialization or do you think that's just your actual desire? The things that we think are freaky are maybe not as freaky as we think they are. You know what I mean? The things that guys are like, oh, I ate ass before. Okay, that's pretty normal actually. They're not really pushing the envelope by doing that. Yeah, it's not that. I know. So it's like, that's off the table. Y'all ain't eating blood. What? That's not the table normal. That ain't no booty, it's just a little booty. Y'all gotta eat it seasoned. That is for, like, I'm not just gonna eat her ass. You eat pussy, right? Yes, that's not ass. I mean, you already ate ass, you know? Just walk to the backyard, bro. You already at the front door. Wow. Well, you're seeing the levels here, right? I think that's the point. But look, it's just different, like, yeah. I will say, there was something that I didn't know that I liked, that I found out that I liked, that I asked for pretty often now. I didn't know I liked, my nipples played with. I thought that was like, it was like fruity when I was younger. And then, like, Shan did it. And I was like, wow. Everybody's trying to hold back the dignity, right? No. I'll let him out first. But you see, you see, you see, you see, you see them. Oh, no, the camera went out. Oh, we went out. Your brother. Okay, I'm looking over Grace trying to hold him together. He is like sitting about to die. I have never seen you hold it like that. Nipples got cray-wishy. Look at Grace. Nice, Frank. Those who are too afraid to venture outside of the box at all, often suffer from side effects of sexual repression, which includes strict adherence to traditional gender rules, confusion or disgust towards your own sexual preferences, misinformation about sex, and aversion to learning about sex and fear that new information could highlight your insecurities.