 But certainly not as a human being. It just means you are What's your worth? What's your value? Does it depend on what you do in the world? I may you know That you do good things Constructive things versus being a useless douche bag or a parasite. Yes That might have something to do with it, but that's in the long run But when you come to earth, are you worthless? Until you're fed, you know, they put this big funnel and And then knowledge gets poured in there and culture and you know all this stuff civilization and Then you eventually you're worthy when you graduate from whatever kindergarten PhD I don't care what it is That's your worth. That's your value as a human human being well then good friggin luck and finding self-esteem As long as you think that your value your worth as a human being depends on what you do what you can what you know what you have None of this is you man. This is all ego. It's all descriptions about you. It's data. It's stuff It's bolt-on aftermarket shit, but it's not you none of this is you You know what builds self-esteem I like the way Nathaniel Brandon does it. He has six pillars of self-esteem. I List them briefly you can get his book the six pillars of self-esteem excellent book Six pillars number one the practice of living consciously Aware becoming even aware of who you are what moves you what what you're all about You're living breathing being That's really really important he does it with sentence completions There's other ways to do it, but I like his six pillars and that's the number one the practice of conscious living number two the practice of self-responsibility People think oh responsibility is like you know guilt or duty or a task No, it's taking your power as who you are not ego power But like true personal power who you are it says I can make a change Self-esteem is a choice it may make it may take me a month a year or a decade to get it But I will get it and I have a choice. I'm no longer a victim That's self-responsibility. It's it's all scratching the surface man. It really is. It's I wish we had like a little more to do this There's others practice of Self-assertiveness standing up for yourself and others by the way Courage, you know self-assertiveness if somebody says yeah, you're nothing says no, sorry I mean take your opinion elsewhere, but I know who I am I Don't want to spend too much on time on that one But the one that I spent in my workshop a hell of a lot of time and I do probably about several hours of this is self-acceptance People say well, but you know there's something wrong with me. I don't like myself right now. So why I can't accept that Well, what are you just doing your whole sale rejecting yourself? You're pouring incredible amounts on something that you can't even control that way You are the way you are right now Including your desire to change including your desire to develop But right now you are the way you freaking are and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it ten seconds from now You can do something about about this very second. You can't This is what is Like bar and Katie loving what is the work great That's reframing on a whole new level. That's taking an LP like to at least one flight of stairs higher Accepting that which is who you are saying to yourself. I'm whole and perfect as I was created right now I'm right here. I'm right now. I'm here because my creator wanted me. I have a right to be here and Even though I may not like I have desires and thoughts and things and my apartment is a mess Why I can't accept that Well, then you pour energy into the uncontrollable and you can't move on until you do that We spent hours on this in the workshop and it's always unbelievable how resistant people are the ego But I can't accept that Well, you pouring I mean you're getting five miles to the gallon for Christ's sake like a hammer You're not you're not getting anywhere until you get that Self-acceptance pillar number four Pillar number five Really important for self-esteem the practice of self integrity or personal integrity A lot of pickup guys are real nice guys. Oh You're so beautiful Can I you know do favors for you take you to dinner lunch? Well, that's very inauthentic and then they sort of get it and they learn some skills and then they turn the other way They turn to be a total jerk Yeah, bitch come on You know, and then they're treating women really badly well I used to do the same thing when I went through that And you know what happened? I felt like Alfie. I felt like a douchebag because I was and Eventually it created subconscious guilt And I started undermining myself because I really didn't feel deserving. That's low self-esteem I did this whole thing in the first place to get there Just me thinking that I needed to resort to tricks and then turn to an asshole That's what we're most pickup guys are stuck in its compensation first. You're a nice guy That's the problem. Then you over here on the other side, which is a compensation overcompensating training wheels crutches But then you need to move one step up to the integration when you get those two sides Then you're a nice asshole your cool guy And then you don't have to you build up self-esteem You don't need to play those stupid games anymore Then you have game because that's who you are not because of something you do and And number six is the practice of living on purpose or purposefully Purpose Your life's purpose people say we need to have a vision. I need to have goals. I need to have all these things Well, those may come from ego But purpose is something very different. It's You ever heard of Martha Beck. She's the original life coach Great great woman one of the best coaches I've ever come across She has this book finding your own north star or like stirring by starlight That's when you find who you are your old self your ego needs to die I need to really get into that point where you really feel who you are what you're all about What really gives you energy? You'll never have to motivate yourself ever again You never need to prop yourself up with NLP or anything like that if you find your life's purpose It's like getting on the power curve. I started this thing a year ago called kite boarding And it's amazing and the first time I was even on the board I was just in the water and I was like doing in the Cranton Park Miami And I was like whoa and then the thing kind of starts figuring it figure aiding and then all of a sudden gets on this power curve And I was literally literally I was thrown to about where you're sitting back there Franco and I was probably about Literally camera level out of the water was a fuck holy shit And it was like the biggest rush. I mean I've done other shit before skiing and motorcycle riding and jet skis Car racing. No, this was a whole new level This is like the quarter-mile in five seconds. This is like Fuck me and that's kind of the feeling you get when you get on that power curve of purpose