 Lever Brothers Company, makers of swan, the soap with the exclusive super cream to blend presents Our friend swan with my friend Irma Starring Murray Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane Peterson is a great education You never know what you're gonna learn next For instance the other evening when I came home Irma had rolled up our carpet and placed it on the bed So naturally I said honey. Why did you put the rug on the bed and Irma said? I read that a carpet wears longer if it has a nap Dreams to you both You see I understand Irma because she takes everything literally for instance someone told her a man's home is his castle So when she and I'll get married she wants an apartment with a drawbridge But then right now I'm much too happy to worry about Irma's shortcomings because on this lovely Saturday morning little Jane Stacey got herself a raise So I'm gonna celebrate by taking Irma to a matinee this afternoon She should be at a desk in mr. Clyde's office. Don't Jay Clyde attorney at law whom shall I say is speaking? Me Jane. Oh hello Jane You sound tired sweetie. What's the matter? I've been typing all morning. My feet are killing me Rings when you get to the end of a line while I keep thinking there's someone at the door Up every ten minutes. Yeah, great because Richard just gave me a raise. Oh Jane I'm so happy for you. Yeah, I can't understand why mr. Clyde doesn't give me a raise Well, honey, maybe it's because your spelling is so bad. Oh, my spelling is getting better. Remember how I used to spell Philadelphia with an F Yeah, I remember but I know that's wrong. It's phf It's learning to to anticipate the boss's need, you know seeing that he gets the things he wants most Well, but that won't get me a raise Jane. Why won't it mr. Clyde always says what he wants most as a new secretary No, honey What I mean is well now take the things that I do for Richard for instance when he hasn't got time for his personal shopping I try to help him. I buy his cigars and handkerchiefs once in a while. I get him a necktie Can't you think of anything mr. Clyde needs? Well, I think he likes some eyeglasses because every time he talks to me He wants to know if I'm all there Miss Peterson, I'm waiting to give you dictation. Will you please get off the phone and come in? What were you gonna say Jane? I Remember wasn't that mr. Clyde's voice? Didn't he call you? Yes, but it's all right. I wave back at him We'll have lunch and then we'll go to the mat miss Peterson How many times must I tell you that when I call you? I don't want you waving at me as if I were leaving on the Queen Mary Yes, sir goodbye, Jane. I Was just talking to Jane, you know my roommate miss Peterson I'm trying to run an office around here law office understand, and I insist on having cooperation K-O-O-P-E-R-A-S-H-U-N Oh good heavens now. I'm spelling it the way you do Just just get your notebook and come into my office right away. All right Mr. Clyde have you noticed how much more efficient I'm getting efficient how you you only asked me to bring my notebook But I was the one who thought to bring a pencil too amazing Now listen, I'm going to dictate a letter that must be kept strictly Confidential I don't want it to get any further than this office understand Well, you can trust me. I'll put it with all the other letters. You told me should never go any further than this office What do you mean? Haven't you been mailing those letters? Of course not. I hit them all under the filing cabinet Oh, no, no, oh, no Mr. Clyde aren't you feeling well? Oh, no Well in that case, I'll wait until tomorrow to ask you for a raise a raise Yes, I've been with you for a year and I'm only getting thirty five dollars a week And I don't think it's enough miss Peterson. I think it's more than enough for what you do in this office It's because you never give me a chance. I try. I may not be the smartest girl, but I try I Know you're convinced that I'm an utter idiot, but please if you'll just give me a chance to prove it Help you Let me do personal things for you I'll get it sir. Thank you, Mr. Clyde. Thank you miss Peterson. That'll be all for now. Yes, sir Hello, oh, hello, you but what time of my taxi don't be ready not until five. Oh It's no good. It's extremely urgent that I get it tonight because I'm addressing the bar association Can you deliver it? Can't oh, that's bad Well, I'll manage to have it picked up somehow. Thank you. You're good. Bye And miss Peterson will you come in here for a minute, please? Mr. Clyde miss Peterson you have just gotten through telling me that you'd like to do personal little things for me Well, this is your opportunity. I know it's Saturday afternoon and you're off, but I happen to be in the spot Well, what is it? Mr. Clyde? I'll be happy to do anything miss Peterson. Please you don't have to curtsy Just listen I want you to take this hundred and thirty-five dollars and go over to Ubritz tailoring on Park Avenue and pick up my suit for me Yes, sir. I'll be ready at five o'clock. I need it to wear when I'm addressing the bar association tonight I'll bring it to me at the athletic club. Now. Have you got that straight? Yes. Good. What did I say? You want me to pick you up at the athletic club at five o'clock and take you to a bar? No, no miss Peterson just pick up my suit. Here's the money. Oh, now I've got it straight I'll pick up the suit at five o'clock and bring it to the athletic club fine Mr. Clyde, do you think I'm doing a My doing a thing like this might help me get a raise we shall see I've got to run along now Please don't let me down miss Peterson. Goodbye. You can trust me Gee, I better count the money ten twenty forty eighty one hundred Hundred and thirty-five. Hi, honey. Oh, hello Jane. Hey, where'd you get all that money? Well, I have to pick up mr. Clyde's suit at the tailors at five. Oh Gee honey, you won't be able to go to the theater with me. I know Jane, but this may lead to a raise Yeah, that's right. Honey a job's a job What player are you going to see streetcar named desire? Well, I don't mind missing it so much I think if you've seen one streetcar, you've seen them all Hello Jane. Hi chicken. Hi, honey. Just dropped by to take you out to lunch. Oh by the way, Jane I just remembered. I owe you two dollars. I'd like to pay you now if you can cash my unemployment check. Yeah All right, I'll cash it. Yeah, it's all endorsed So I see Now, what's the idea of that gold star next to your name? Got it for never being late Well chicken, what are your plans for this afternoon? Well, I was going to the theater with Jane, but I I can't because I have to work on saturday afternoon. Yes, Al Well, don't worry chicken. Your working days are only temporary pretty soon little owl will look after you. Oh, sure Sure, just as soon as one of his deals comes through like painting noodles gray and selling them for rubber bands Great provider. I'll see you tonight. I'm gonna I'll You know, she's a little more snooty than usual today chicken. How come? Well, she's got a raise, Alan I'm going to get one too. You are. What happened? Well, Jane does personal things for Richard and now I've got my chance to do personal things for mr. Clyde I'm picking up a suit for him at Hubert's tailoring at five this afternoon. Well, how'll that get you a raise? Well, wouldn't you do little things like that for your boss? You're indispensable Chicken, that's the wrong approach a messenger boy does the same thing that man is treating you like you're nothing Running errands will get you no place. It's the personal touch that counts personal touch. Well, that's what Jane said But but that's what I'm doing. No, no chicken knew a fellow named sam work for a big corporation Was getting nowhere then sam decided to use the personal touch and one morning He started coming in and slapping the boss on the back Well, gradually the boss's back started caving in Before you knew it sam was head of the company But al this is an important error and after all mr. Clyde entrusted me with 135 dollars to pay for the suit Chicken I repeat what you're doing a messenger boy could do But we can change this entire thing into a golden opportunity for you How have seen the type of suit your boss wears Nothing no class Got it. We'll show you how to get in real good with your boss You not only get him a better suit, but you also save him money Then he'll know that you're not only a great secretary, but also have a shrewd mind But al do you think I can fool him like that? Only with my help What do you suggest al honey do not go to huberts We'll spend the afternoon shopping and pick up a real bargain al the suit has to be extra special because He's going to wear it when he speaks before the bar association tonight chicken Know just what he needs for the bar association. No one has had as many lawyers around him as I have Leave it to me when I'm finished with your boss, you will be starting on a new career Oh al you're a darling, you know sometimes I feel so empty inside and then you put ideas in my head and it feels solid again Ladies there's nothing quite like swan soap for dishes Sure because swan has an exclusive super creamed blend and this blend means faster suds suds that rinse away so completely dishes never need drying Super creamed blend means swan protects your hands too Yes, your hands come out of the dish pan as smooth and lovely as ever Remember only swan has this exclusive super creamed blend to give you speed and hand protection at the same time And don't forget to keep listening for the names of the top winners in the second week's lever fur contest I just got home from seeing a streetcar named desire Since everything here looks quite normal. I know that ermah hasn't been here yet You see ermah uses a code to let me know what she's doing For instance, if I come home and I find a cup of coffee and a pair of shoes on the pillow That's let me know she couldn't sleep because she had coffee so she's gone for a walk Hello, hello, is ermah peterson there? No, she's not this is jane stacey her roommate. Who's this? This is mr. Clyde Oh, yes, mr. Clyde. Uh, what can I do for you miss stacey? Do you know where ermah is? No, the last I saw her she was going to pick up a suit for you Well, it's five o'clock and I just called uberts and she hasn't picked it up yet Oh, well, I'm quite sure she will well I hope so because I'm in a steam bath now and I set my other suit of clothes to be clean And I cannot address the bar association with the proper dignity in my shorts You understand Well, mr. Clyde if ermah said she'd pick up your suit her word is as good as gold Goodbye And this explains why they've devaluated the frank Oh, where on earth could ermah be? Ermah Ermah, it's five o'clock and we still don't have a suit for mr. Clyde Uh, maybe we ought to pick it up at hubert check and nothing ventured nothing gained I've saved the best for the last. This is a place. They tell me is real classy. Let's go in Yes, and uh, what can I do for you? Uh, we'd like to see some suits certainly for your husband No, my husband and I aren't married yet I mean this is for someone else All right now now, uh, what did you have in mind could you describe the gentleman? Yes, he has gray hair Belongs to the bar association and he's married you think you ought to have pleats please chicken Madam Let us start all over again. Can you tell me what size the gentleman wears? What size do you wear? I'm a 38 I'm a 12 mr. Clyde is built more like you Of course he'd be built like me be mrs. Clyde Madam, there are other customers waiting and chicken. Let me handle it. See, I'll have to take the initiative myself Uh friend, have you got a suit something like the one I've got on? Oh, yes, I remember that particular model. It was very popular during the charleston craze Well admitted ain't society brand yet. It's in great demand with a particular set Notice it's very snug. Yet an ace will go up the sleeve without touching the lining Please please I wish you decide that you there are other customers waiting Wait a minute. See the one we need that brown herringbone with a triangular checks What are you asking for it a hundred dollars? What are you taking for it? 50 sold for 35 Thank you. I'll wrap it up Oh miss stacey, this is mr. Clyde Oh, mr. Clyde, I haven't heard from urma, but I'm sure she'll be at the athletic club with the suit any minute now Miss stacey, it may be too late. The suit probably won't fit me. I've been in the steam bath for so long I think I've lost 20 pounds Oh, mr. Clyde, please have patience sit tight sit tight. I can't I've already been frikazeed barbecued and sauteed How much steam can a man take? Oh, well, I don't mean to be personal mr. Clyde But why don't you get a massage? I've already had three It's not a question of keeping in treatment. It's a question of getting out of here. I've got to make that speech tonight Yes, well if anything develops, I assure you that you'll be the first one we'll get in touch with please hurry I've been in this bath so long. I may do my entire speech in turkish Oh mother, where is that urma? Oh, there you are urma Your boss is in a steam bath at the athletic club waiting for you to bring the suit from huberts You take it over there immediately. Oh, but jing we bought him a different suit and saved him money Oh, it's so cute here. I'll show you. I'll put on the jacket Well, how do you like it? Irma, I can only say one thing you may think that's a man's jacket But you look like you walk past the wall door for story and the canopy fell on you But jane it's herringbone al I've seen herringbone, but this is the first time I've ever seen an fillet And for your further information mr. Clyde happens to be waiting for a tuxedo Huh? Tuxedo. Oh, well, then we oh, then he won't look right in those knickers I don't know what's good for you You'll get on that phone and call huberts and grab a cab and pick up the suit that mr. Clyde ordered You took the words right out of my mouth. We'll do oh urma tell me something How can you let al talk you into things like this? But I wanted to say mr. Clyde money. I wanted to do personal things for him honey He wants to address the bar association tonight. He couldn't wear this suit on halloween Hello, hello Hello, al you've said hello enough start talking Looks like we're in trouble chicken. There's no answer huberts must be closed. Oh, well, of course it's closed. It's after 5 30 I'll get it Hello, hello, is this urma peterson? Yes, this is mr. Clyde I'm sorry. This phone is temporarily out of order. I'll report it. Goodbye I'm trying to save you money Sweetie if you don't get him his suit or a reasonable facsimile you'll be in real trouble now. Let's think but all the stores are closed I know I know chicken when you under pressure like this There's only one man who can help us. Oh Al that's ridiculous. Who Al who else but Hello joe Got a problem must have a tuxedo What do you mean? It's easy. Don't you know all the stores are closed? Or with you that's no problem Now hold it out. You're not stealing a tuxedo. Just feeling the man out Look joe must have a tuxedo if only for tonight. Do you have one? Or you loaned yours to honest louis. Yeah, but I thought Oh, no joe. We can't dig him up just for that Quit talking to joe. Let let let's rent a tux. Thanks joe, but must check other angles. So long Oh, dear. Now. Let me think where can we get a tuxedo at this time of night? I just can't understand you now. Don't pick on me jane. I admit. I'm not perfect Oh, honey, when you say you're not perfect. It's like jesse james admitting. He's not a choir boy Oh Irma that poor man is waiting your job is right out of the window if we don't get him a tuxedo Come in It's only me professor crobat I Hello jane and irma my two little daffy deals one a little dilly one a little daffy Professor You're wearing a tuxedo certainly On saturday nights at the gypsy theorem. It's strictly formal. We even leave the tails on the fish Why do you ask well, I was supposed to pick up a tuxedo for my boss And there was a little mistake and the place is closed I may lose my job got an idea Professor could you loan us your tux just for tonight? It'll show help chicken Oh, uh, we can't ask the professor for his tuxedo. He needs it for his work. No, no, please jenny I'm the better judge of that. My little irma is in trouble. I must help her so if it helps irma She can have the tuxedo so I don't go to work tonight after all money isn't everything What kind of a stupid saying is that? Yeah, but but your job professor who cares after all am I indispensable So someone else will read fortune someone else will wash dishes Someone else will wait on table someone else will play the violin someone else will wash the floor someone else You know something. I'll be glad for the vacation. I've been working too hard That's just wonderful of you professor. It may save irma's job Gee professor. I sure appreciate it anything for you my darling Al come upstairs if you'll excuse the expression to my room I'll take the tuxedo off and you can take it to irma's boss. Okay Oh, wait a minute. The professors are much thinner man than mr. Clyde not anymore. Mr. Clyde's been in that steam room too long I Had dinner and we washed the dishes I tried to explain to her that she shouldn't go to the movies with al and be completely at ease because I have a feeling that Her career at Milton j. Clyde's office is near an end After all even if the professor's tuxedo saved the night irma will be a dead pigeon on the following day So I tactfully suggested that irma resigned before she's fired. So now she's writing her letter of resignation Jane how does this sound? Dear mr. Clyde in as much as I don't expect to be with you much longer because we don't see eye to eye I would like to ask a favor of you if anyone ever asks for a reference on me Please remember you're describing a lady and don't say anything Because your ex secretary irma peterson Good evening, miss peterson. I was in the neighborhood. So I decided to drop in and tell you something Now now now just a minute mr. Clyde. There's no need to be sarcastic Irma's realized her mistake and she's ready to resign and and I won't let you abuse her Abuser I've come here to give her a raise a raise. What do you mean that tuxedo? You gave me I was making my speech before the bar association and it was getting duller by the minute They were all falling asleep on me. I was mortified Suddenly I raised my hand to make an emphatic gesture and the shirt front lit up and said fortunes read 50 cents And I was the hit of the party And believe me any secretary who can anticipate her boss's predicaments is certainly worth more than 35 dollars a week Oh, mr. Clyde, do you mean you're going to give me a raise? Yes. What do you think you're worth? Well, I'm getting 35 dollars a week now I think I'm at least At least worth a hundred a month. Oh mother Oh Folks later I'll give you the names of the top winners in the second week of the 100 thousand dollar lever fur contest But first listen This may be your last chance to win a beautiful mink coat This is the last week of these exciting contests You have only until march 14th to get your last entries in the mail. So hurry Here's all you do in 25 words or less Tell why you like any one of these six lever products lucks flakes lucks toilet soap life boy Rinseau spry or swan soap and close a wrapper or box top from one of these with your entry Remember the contest is subject to rules on the entry blank at your dealers. There are still 329 prizes. Yes, wonderful prizes like these one $3,000 mink coat three $1,000 fur coats five fur jackets each worth $500 as well as 320 other prizes of valuable furs and cash But now here they are top winners in the second week's lever fur contest first prize Mrs. Scott j. Hinch 534 riverside drive ficwa, ohio You win a gorgeous three thousand dollar mink coat or the cash Congratulations, mrs. Hinch and here are the names of the second prize winners You each win a beautiful one thousand dollar fur coat or the cash Mrs. Clarence egan 2610 first avenue north leads alabama Mrs. Helen walker lineman 8809 southwest bertha beaverton highway beaverton origan mrs. George meslin's 7364 maryland avenue university city five missouri Congratulations to you all the other 325 winners of valuable furs and cash will be notified by mail and remember folks It's not too late to enter. You may be wearing a luxurious $3,000 mink coat So send your entry right away to lever fur contest box one new york city. That's lever fur contest box one new york city The fact that ermas in good again with her boss. I warned her never to pry into his personal life again This time she's taking my advice seriously In fact the other day mr. Clyde tripped and knocked himself unconscious And I said well honey, why didn't you throw water on him and ermas said well if buying a suit is too personal Certainly giving him a bath is worse And you know when you get an answer that's all wet like that when it's bound to come from my friend ermas My friend ermas presented by swan another fine product of lever brothers company was produced and directed by cy howard Tonight script was written by cy howard and park levy folks next monday evening. Listen again, too Our friend swan with my friend ermas My friend ermas stars mary wilson is ermas and cathy lewis is jane The part of professor krapotkin was played by hans conreed frank bingman speaking Yes, there's a reason why spry is the cake making wonders spry has an amazing cake improver secret Try the spry one bowl way and be certain of lighter finer richer cakes every time No other type of shortening has spry's cake improver for new cake making success Relay on spry the pure all vegetable shortening Tune in next week one hour earlier and listen to the lux radio theater immediately followed by my friend ermas Yes, the columbia broadcasting system