 What is caring out loud and why should you do it? If you're a parent, a carer, a teacher or another trusted adult working with or caring for children and young people, caring out loud is one of those really little things you can do that makes a really big difference. So what do I mean by this? I mean literally making it quite clear to a child or a young person that they are cared for, that they're loved, that you care about them. Now this is important because when we are supporting a child particularly if their self-esteem is very low or they struggle with things like anxiety or depression, then we should not assume that they realize that they're cared for and loved. Now this can feel counter intuitive because often we think it's so obvious, we care so deeply and so completely that we're sure that this other person, this child, this young person must know that we love them, that we care for them, that they're supported and cared for. But actually when our self-esteem is really low then we often don't care for ourselves and we don't understand why anyone else would ever care for us either. So having people actually care out loud really helps. Just a few words here and there, I was thinking of you, I care about you, you matter, can really make a big difference. You can take this one step further by actually writing these things down as well because actually when we struggle with faulty thinking patterns, those cognitive distortions that often come alongside things like anxiety, then we really zone in to the negatives. So we pick out the negatives from conversation and all the positives can kind of fly by. So you might be caring out loud and saying these positive things but they might be flying by because that person is so attuned to listening out to the negatives that back up the faulty thinking patterns that they have in their mind. However when you write something down and you present it to someone then they have a tangible token that they can keep, a reminder that you care. You can do this really simply, writing post-it notes is one way of doing it, writing thank you cards can be a really really nice way of doing it, but just something physical that shows, that reminds this person that they're loved, they're cared for, that you support them, that you had them in mind. You can think too about building this more into your day to day by thinking about the paying of meaningful compliments. Now when we're thinking about paying meaningful compliments, whether that's to a child or to an adult or anyone really, then we always think about the three S's, they should be spontaneous. So you notice something that is positive, mention it then, spontaneous, they should be sincere, don't pay a compliment unless you really, really mean it. And they should be specific. So think very carefully about exactly what it is you're complimenting. And ideally we should look to pay deep compliments. So rather than paying compliments that are superficial based on things like appearance, clothing, hairstyle, that sort of thing. Instead think about giving compliments around things like effort or things that people have tried, skills that they're proud of and that kind of thing. Or even things that you've noticed about the way that they're carrying themselves day to day. So I may say to one of my children, it was really kind of you to look after your sister earlier when she was struggling with XYZ. I really noticed that you did that and it was ever such a kind thing to do and it made a real difference to her. So specific, specific, spontaneous and sincere. Try it, care out loud. The thing is that it feels really good for the person that you care about. It reminds them that they are cared for, which they might not realise otherwise. And also it feels good for you. When we play compliments, when we are kind, allowed, then it feels good. It feels really good. Try it. Try it. Okay, good luck. Bye.