 Thank you Rochelle go ahead. Let me so yeah, this is why when I did that broadcast about The kind of women high-value men avoid Hello Yes, I'm here. Hi Rochelle. How are you? I'm fine. How are you good? What do you got for me? Okay, so this is actually my first time listening to your show or watching your show And I actually was having this conversation Tonight with a friend of mine who sent me the link and everything so I'm 38 And so I know you've had a lot of younger women on but I'm 38 I am single. I have no children So I know you were talking about when women get to that 40 plus Rains, you know it starts to go downhill. Luckily. I'm so fertile Because when you get my age you start to see a fertility doctor and make sure you're good But I guess my question to you would be For women that are over the age of 35 or like myself approaching, you know, 40 in two years It is very difficult out here to find Men that are that are really ready to to settle down and take things seriously I've met plenty of guys that are really great, but then they have these insecurity issues or They're just there's just Showing it up showing it up showing it up showing up you're 38 and you're ready to get married and you're good But the problem is you can't seem to find a man that's ready to marry you I don't say necessarily ready to marry me, but ready to at least Do you want to be married do you want to be married? I Do how long should it take you to how long should it take a man to marry woman? How long how how long should it take a man before he knows he wants to marry one? I think that most men probably know within six months to a year. So again, so you want to be married So you want to be on that path cuz you're 38. What's it anyway? I'm in Chicago. All right, so When I talk about no man's land Danger zone also the thing I say it not to be Pejorative it's just a focus I Just because you're over 35 doesn't mean it's over. I mean, I know women that are that age I'm actually gone out with women that age But it's different It's different in the sense that what's the longest relationship you've ever had My longest relationship was five years How long ago was that hi Jessica? Hi Monika. See you in there five years. How long ago was that? That was in 2017 2017 five years to ended in 2017. Yes So you've a 2012 2017. Were you guys in the same city? Yes Why didn't you guys get married? He he was a serial cheater. I mean And you're one of your five in year Three So, why'd you stay? I think that I curious. No, I understand I think that I had to do a lot of self-reflection in order to understand that after the relationship and it was a lot of That's okay. I mean I've got four more people. I need to kind of get through this And that's fine, you know, you don't spy I mean three years People need to go through the process, you know, just get rid of somebody. I get it. Um, how tall are you? I'm five five dress size What's my my dress size, huh? Did you say my dress size? Yes I'm a size six or eight So I six right and how much did you weigh the last time you were just up? I Way myself every day. So I was 148 this morning. Cool The last question if you had to give yourself a rating just your face Fresh face right out of the shower your natural hair What would you give yourself on a scale from one to ten and you cannot use seven? Oh, I'm not gonna use seven I would give myself at least 8.95 Okay So around here we now Beyonce is roughly an eight Kelly Rollins roughly at nine But you're on the Kelly rolling into things. Yes, I am All right In the last three years, how many men have you had us seriously wanting to date you? What is this 2020 well, I had just gone out of that relationship in 2017 so I've been on Right, but when you go through something like that, you got to take some time now you don't No, you do if you've been in abusive relationships. You do have to take This is not okay. Hold on now Recognize what you're at That's you know, I am I'm just I just okay. Let me explain something. Okay. I'm nice to you If you're nice to me, I have no particular dog in the fight, but you can't talk over the host All right, so in the last three years Um, even after your detox from your relationship, what's the longest time you've dated anyone since their breakup? Uh, three months three months. Um, had you guys gotten intimate? Yes, we had who ended it who ended it Um, he did uh, do you happen to know why? Um, yes, um, he was going through some personal issues that required Therapy so he said I don't I mean, I call bullish. I don't know if people curse on your show, but I call bs Um on that to me. It's like he just wanted to meet and he just wanted to screw and then once he got what he wanted He but you're 38 years old and you can have sex. You don't need to lie to you about it Oh, no, he doesn't have to lie to me about it. I don't lie to other people about it so if you're Who tends to end your relationships when you're since 2017 you were guys Even in the casual dating, okay And you said you've gone through therapy Yes, I'm so going through it. All right, and what were you diagnosed? What what what did your therapists or counselors say? Anxiety and depression. Yep Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so is an issue really that men aren't necessarily ready for what you're um I don't think that that's necessarily that men are not necessarily ready. I mean, I think that I am taking that this time now to process and heal the the wounds that I have so that I'm also ready, but I've just noticed that um I don't I don't know if I necessarily agree that you just have to stop cold turkey with meeting people and and in dating While you're going I never said you had to stop cold turkey, man, but your relationship was over in 2017 right all right, um And if you're going into relationships, are you going into them just casually just saying hey, I'm still in process So I just want to keep this, you know very light Because I'm not looking to get married because I'm still got some things going on with me No, I don't I don't get that personal, you know when I'm first meeting somebody Then I don't understand Um, what is it? What's the outcome that you want to achieve? You want to get married and you've been in therapy for how long? I'm just a month not long. Okay. Um, I have to ask If what you were saying happened is so traumatic Why did it take you three years before you two two plus years before you started counseling? Um, I have a a very public-facing career. So and I have moved um quite a bit In in those three years. I've lived in three different cities. So, um So, I mean that was also part of it But now I'm having time to kind of reflect and then my father died Um in september. So all of that compounded is So in three so in three years Okay, I'm going on what you said that it was a traumatic relationship Um and having a public career public-facing career Uh celebrity stars people get counseling all the time. It would have been wiser to do it Back then so we wouldn't just be because you're only you're only a month into it now You're not ready Okay, and I'm and I'm telling you in the interaction I'm having with you You're you're editing yourself right now, but I can feel that I can feel What you're doing Um Look, I'm good at what I do. I don't have thousands of people watching me because I don't but what I'm telling you Even if you're as attractive as you say you are Um, you're you will be difficult to date Why? Because you're still broken Mm-hmm You want to go back and forth and me over some things and I'm like man five years And if it hurt that much that means between 2017 and last month the guys that you've interacted with were getting pieces So the problem isn't finding men who are Ready to do whatever even if you met a perfect man. You're not whole enough to be a wife Which is what I talk about often on this show professional attractive successful women whose relationship skills are completely unfit for the things they say they want And it's because We have such a stigma in the black community about therapy Um, so where the last people to go seek it then when we do go seek it We don't want it to take as long as it does Um, and then the sad part is we start diagnosing everybody else When you're novice in therapy um If you know you ultimately want to get married the best thing to do is Um, when's the last time you saw your ex? Um, he came from my father's funeral so in september. I see in the same city. No, okay. Um And when you date now, um Well, I have to ask how do you get your itch scratched? Do you have an itch scratcher? Uh, yeah, okay. I'm okay with that. Does he know you're in it? Does he know he's an itch scratcher? Yes, yeah And he's been scratching your itch for quite a while I are you talking about my ex or no, I'm talking about the guy you're having sex with Oh, okay. No, I'm sorry. Honestly. I thought you were actually talking about like a a toy No, no, I mean, I mean, no, I don't no. I'm not intimate with anybody. It was the last time you were intimate with someone Uh last month What is this never? But yeah last month Okay, but all right, and that was okay. So You don't have a friend with benefit that who you can have sex with On a consistent I mean I I do but it's they're just not in chicago, but I do Okay, uh, it sounds very chaotic, ma'am It's not it's not chaotic Uh, I okay Now you're I think you're absolutely right when you talk about, you know Being a whole woman and having broken pieces and things to fix which is why I'm seeking the help But my life is not chaotic. I'm saying that uh, uh, and say you okay um She's whatever word you fits. It just doesn't sound very simple. Um If you have someone and that you have there's a friend that benefits somebody that's have sex with but they're not in town They're not in same city. I don't need it like that. You know what I'm saying? Like it's not that serious to me So that's why that I don't think that that's a complicated part of my life because it's not that necessary So sex is so okay So then why do you have a why do you have a battery operated buddy if it's not that necessary? I mean the physical touch of a man is not that necessary for me to have a file to la and thank you right there. Thank you Thank you The physical touch of a man is not that necessary because you have a better operator buddy and see that's the brokenness Which is the chaotic part What I'm saying is is that I just because you just because okay? All right, um, this is this could possibly get very messy at the end of the day man at 38 years old the issue is not me The issue is not men The issue is not men Especially men in chicago In international city, there are plenty of marriageable men that are damn sure earning Well, who are marriage minded? No, I gotta Excuse me. I said there there certainly are. I mean I literally just moved here on saturday, right? So But I will tell you Without a shadow of a doubt um, the you know, if you're What kind of what kind of income do you want your potential husband to make? um You know, honestly, I've never been That much of a stickler when it comes to that. Give me a ballpark. Um, this ballpark. I would say I would say maybe 200 $200,000. Do you do you care if he has kids or not? No, I mean, okay at this at my age, I feel like men that I'm going to meet You care how how how tall he is? I mean as long as he's Maybe five nine and up How tall are you? five five five five um All right, um, what percentage of men in this country earn over 200,000 dollars? Oh, Steve, um, well if we're talking black men, um, nope just men period just men um Maybe six percent, right? So and men who are making that kind of money six percent roughly um They for the most part are the cream of the crop of financial earners. They have their pick of the letter So I ask the question I ask you I ask the question of you that I asked all women Why would a man who's earning 200,000 dollars plus who can have any woman want you? Well, I think that I would be coming in with also my own, you know six figure salary and give a shit about your money I know they don't but I'm just saying I would be coming in with my own So it's not like I'm coming to them with my money, but I know that I have A really we don't care about your money or your careers or anything like I'm just being honest, man I get it you have it, but it doesn't let me tell you why let me tell you ladies why this doesn't matter Because you're not gonna we don't have access to it anyway, and you're gonna be spending it on us So your money didn't say that um Okay, do women in general Who who who in general funds the relationship? I would say men in general right the relationship, but why would a woman not want to do for her man too? um, well This is gonna be another problem, man um, what is your Your vertical your career path, you know, I'm telling you the exact title Um, I work in higher education all right um Women typically don't spend money on men period point blank end of sentence Uh, I do very well for myself and it's not a surprise. We laugh about how In how you can buy a Birkin bag over here, but they think they bought you a video game. It's something Mm-hmm. What's the most you've ever what's the most you've ever spent on your man? That's not a birthday Christmas or anniversary type. You're just on a Tuesday um, I actually um I spent it was a to me bag that I bought for one of my exes and it was like about 600 dollars $600 then that ain't that ain't shit I spent $600 at dinner So I'm sorry your six-figure job and everything else don't mean shit to us Because your bag the shoes that I bought you was 600 I could pull 600 dollars worth of shit and throw it at this camera right now I'm in new york city and I anyway 600 dollars. That's what I mean I say that man because when I say stuff you ladies want to push back and like well, I make it It don't matter if we don't have access. I wasn't pushing back. I didn't even I say ladies in general We don't have access. We don't have access to your money We don't have access to your money and we're not going to be able to spend it and that's fine So what else do you bring? What else? He said, why would he want you and you were going outside of your money and your accomplishments? What else do you bring to the table? Um I bring I think that for me I think that I'm a very very supportive woman when it comes to I know in my past relationships when it comes to their Dreams and their goals. I know that I am able to speak life into them. Um, I'm extremely submissive in a sense. I actually sometimes when you're in These senior roles as a woman and your life is dominant figure all day long It's nice to come home and be able to just be Submissive. It's being submissive helps me to relax honestly in relationships Um, your five-year relationship. Did you live with him? Yes, I did um And he out-earned you No, I out-earned him Is that again? No, I out-earned him. Okay. Um Substantially, um, yes Did he go to college? Did he or did I did he? Um, no And where'd you graduate from? Johns Hopkins You need to book five sessions I'm gonna leave it right here, man because you you Go my website is by kevin samuels.com. I don't want to do this right here In incredible