 The Irene Dunn Fred MacMurray Show. Murray S. George. Exciting comedy adventures. Sometimes Susan Armstrong speaks of other things. And this is one of those times. And the other thing of which he speaks is... Going to be a box-suffer, George. Surely you've heard of box-suffers before. Oh, vaguely. You know, each girl has to suffer for two in a fancy box. And these boxes are all to know. The young man who buys the box. He eats his supper with a girl who packs it. And then spends the evening dancing with her. This could get a little complicated, couldn't it? I mean, suppose a stranger gets a girl's supper. What does her boyfriend do? Well, generally, he goes outside and beats his head against a tree. Oh, now the smart girls tip off their boyfriend before him. Uh, so I'll just tell you. Oh, you say this is conducted as an auction. That's right. That's what makes it so interesting. Well, just so I can plan, how much did your supper bring last year? Well, I guess I was luckier than others. Uh, mine brought $55. Yikes! What's wrong with that? With practice care, I could eat supper for a couple of months on 55 bucks and maybe sneak in a few lunches. Are you trying to say that a supper in an evening of dancing with me is not worth $55? Uh, well, not since you've put it that way. Well, I should think as much. Now, be sure to remember this. My supper box will be wrapped in red tape. There? With a golden ball on top. Red paper, golden ball. Check. All right, and tomorrow night at 7, at the Elk's Hall. And be sure not to eat anything beforehand, George, because I'll pack plenty for both of us. Well, don't worry, Susan. I won't be able to afford anything beforehand. And maybe not for a long time after. You know, Sammy, every time I see that in... Miss Susan, for the life of me, I don't see why you don't put all this food in one big box and let me stay home. You've been staying home too much, Patience. It'll do you good to get out and have your supper gay evening. Now, let's see if we have everything. It's all there. Roast turkey, potato salad, coleslaw, pickles, ham sandwiches, three kinds of cheese, roast beef sandwiches, cookies, and chocolate cake. Good. George will enjoy every mouthful. You thinking on him buying yours? Well, he better. I gave him full instructions yesterday. Last year, your supper went for $55. I know. Does he know? He knows. That was no earthquake, you felt. That was George Harvey shaking in his boots. Oh, you're wrong, Patience. George won't say of me. He knows how much this means to me. Maybe. But you know you can't buy these suppers with an IOU. It's cash on the line. Now, where's that red paper and the gold ribbon? Right here. I want to make this as attractive as possible. Getting will be real spirited. You'll make it as mighty tough on George. Now, you just forget, George. Everything will work out fine. How are you going to decorate yours, Patience? I'm going to wrap mine in an old wet blanket. So when the guy who buys it sees me, he won't be disappointed. He'll be on top. You know me. Mentioned food that I was there an hour ago. Oh, hello, Patience. Hello, some shindies. Yeah, it's quite a turnout. ought to be a great success. Of course it will. It always is. And before I forget it, George, there was a wonderful thought of yours inviting Sammy. Oh, is he here? I've been looking for him. Well, of course he's here. Oh, where is he? Well, he's around somewhere. George, the red paper and the gold bowl. Yes, yes. Got my eye right on it. Well, what do you know? There's Sammy over there. I'm going over and see how he's getting along. Yes, the bidding's going to start pretty soon. Maybe it's better if we're not seen together until afterwards. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's a good idea. I'll see you later. Sammy, I knew I could depend on you. Hi, this looks like it's a lot of fun, especially all those suffers up on the table. Yes. Slip me the 50, Sammy. What 50? You don't have to blab it all over the place. See, it's 50 you promised to lend me this morning. You haven't. Well, what did you do with it? All I brought was 10. OK, if that's the way you feel about it. Now, I know who my true friends are. Well, I want to be a friend. Well, then give me the 10. That'll help a little. I told patients I was going to buy her supper. I can't hurt her feelings. Nothing could hurt her feelings and nobody ever buys her supper. And besides, I'm hungry. Oh, my boy. Get her out. Beautiful girl. We just had a baby to eat it with you. They're starting, Sammy. This is your last chance. Give me the 10. You can have what's left over after I buy my supper. Now, here's a beautiful box. All done up with pink ribbons and tissue papers. All right. Patients will be very happy, Sammy. I hope you have a long and happy supper together. Oh, you should see what's in it. Turkey, hay, and... No, stop sounding like a little glutton you are. Now, here's a beautiful supper box. With my dough, I couldn't afford a sardine sandwich packed by a U-Bangie. All righty. The girls outside, beat their supper, I guess. My, you're learning fast. How about it? It's a little cool for outside eaters. And besides, I have a hunch that we should join Miss Susan and George. Sort of a family picnic. But they won't be eating together. They each got different partners. That's what I mean, Sammy. This is a charity affair. And we could practice a little charity by saving them from their own mistakes. Come on. Let's haunt her around and see if we can find them. Did you get a look at that character who bought my supper? Well, not a very good look. Well, I did. Well, have you talked to him? Not yet. He's looking for me now with the silliest grin on his face. Oh, George, how could you do this to me? Well, it was just a question of money. I didn't have enough. But I told you yesterday. I gave you plenty of warning that it might be around $50. I simply wasn't able to raise it. Raise it? Why should you have to raise it? I pay you a good salary. What do you do with your money? Some people collect stamps. I collect yachts. Who knows what I do with my money? Look, Susan, why don't we ease out of here? Maybe nobody'd miss us. I've got $4 less than we could blow ourselves up with hamburgers. Well, you know I couldn't leave. I'm on the committee. You know it. Oh, yeah. Well, I guess you'll have to eat with a boy who came loaded. Oh, dear. But what about afterward when he wants to spend the whole night wrestling around the dance floor? Well, by that time, I'll think of something. Too bad you couldn't have thought of something before. Look, Susan, as long as we're in this mess, let's try to have the best time possible, shall we? Well, there isn't much else we can do, unless that brilliant mind of yours figures out something. Brilliant mind of mine is working already. Can't you hear the gears? I can. And that's what I'm worried about. They sound a little stripped. Thought you suffered. Yes. Yes. I see you are. I'm William Hopkins. The chicken just called me Willie. Oh, well, thank you, Willie. When I saw you coming in, I made up my mind I was going to buy your supper, no matter what it cost. I said, there's a babe for me. That's what I said. But you're certainly a free sender, I'll say that. I make 25 bucks a day and I can double that with overtime. Oh, what do you do? For me, I'm a bulldozer. You're a what? Well, I ain't. What I meant was I run a bulldozer. Oh, oh. You gave me shoving that old dirt around. I guess we might as well find a place to squat and start giving our molar to work out. Yes, I suppose that would be an idea. Hey, what are you gawking at? Oh, that tall man. And that blonde heading his way. You know the guy or something? I used to. But I'm not so sure I will after tonight. For your boss. Oh, oh, it is, eh? What do you know? I'm Wanda Finnegan. Well, uh, how do you do it, Finnegan? I'm George Harvey. You can call me Wanda, George. Oh, that's nice of Wanda. Well, what do you do? I'm a reporter with the Morning Star. Do you get to see gangsters and murder and stuff? Well, not very often. Hillsdale's a peaceful town. Yeah. Hillsdale's a dump. I suppose you could look at it that way. No, I like a big city. You ever been in New York? Oh, yeah. I lived there for years. Dang. Maybe we could be in New York at the same time sometimes. No, it could be. Strange things happen. Yeah, and at the thrills. Well, strange things are always happening to me. Well, I guess we might as well put on the feedback. Huh? Oh, yes, the feedback. Any special place you'd like to graze? Uh-huh. Nothing, it's just a figure of speech. Well, if you lead, Wanda, I'll follow. And I figured we all might just as well eat together and make a sort of a picnic. Well, of course, Patience, why not? I don't suppose we all know each other, though, do we? I don't know. This is Willie Hopkins. Hiya, Paul. This is Wanda Finnegan. Pleasure, I'm sure. Well, uh, pull up here, folks, and let's get settled. That's a good idea. You sure know how to pack the grubs, sister. Get a load of this spread. Well, you go right ahead and enjoy it, Willie. Well, what are you waiting for, George? Huh? Well, dig in. Oh, yes, the, uh, the box. Help yourself. Thanks. Now you? Don't mind if I do. Sandwiches, huh? Uh, pickle sandwiches. Pickle sandwiches? A lot of vitamins. They're real good for you. Ah, it's very interesting. I know a sandhog, and his wife always watches them pickle sandwiches. They're healthy or something. That's what I said. Hey, look, the fan's getting ready to give. Hey, how's about you and me making it with the fancy foot like that? Oh, but you stop her, Willie. You're not half through. Oh, I'm loaded for now. Do me good to shake it down and make some more room. Come on. George, why do I hate you? I'm working on a plan. Well, what are we waiting for, big boy? Oh, you want to dance, sir? I didn't come here to pick grapes. Uh-huh, fine. Pleasure, Wanda. We're alone for a minute. I'd like to talk to you man-to-man. Yeah? Willie, just look at that wand over there, the girl I'm with. Isn't that a beautiful doll? You think so? Look at that hair. Golden, wavy, silky. What more could a man want? That ain't a wig on my dish, by Steph. What do you mean, Susan? Oh, her hair's all right. A little on the mousy side, wouldn't you think? I never went out with no mouse. Yeah. Look at that wanders figure one. Now, Miss America, if I ever saw one... Willie, how about it then? You take Wanda for the rest of the evening, and I'll relieve you of your burden, okay? You think I'm not to something? Well, no, no. I was just hoping. Who that? You're not only doing this for me, you're doing it for Miss Armstrong, too. She'll be grateful and you'll save her from a horrible evening. You sure? My word of honor. There. She's alone now over by the refreshment stand. I'll get going. Quit it. This is the smartest party I've ever been to. Talk to you, Mr. Willie. Why, you sure can, Nipper. What's on your mind? I want my mama to take me home now. Well, just take me to your mama, and I'll tell her what you said. Who is your mama? You keep dancing with her. Susan, your mother? Ever since I was a little boy. I can't hardly believe her. A beautiful girl like her married. Hey, how come you don't get your father to take you home? My father? Yeah, then your mother could stay here and have some fun for the rest of the evening. My father? A whole a phone. It just come to me. I bet I know your romance. Oh, I don't think so. Sure, that's it. He didn't have the nerve to come out and admit it. He tried to make a switch like a yellow dog, and him romancing that blonde right in front of his wife and child. He knew I wouldn't swap, and he didn't want me to. Why that dirty rat? How? Your father. My father? Son, you're going home, but first I'm going to teach your old man a lesson he ain't ever going to forget. I got to see you outside. Come on. Yeah, but I don't do this. I said come. Yeah, I believe you did it that. Something on your mind, Willie? I just want to talk, that's all. Outside? I like to talk outside. Yeah, well, there's probably more room out there for your voice. Okay, Willie, now that we're outside, what did you want to talk to me about? When a guy's got a good-looking sweet name for a wife, I say he's lucky. Yes, I would class that as a very astute observation, Willie. We're in perfect agreement. When a guy's got a son, he's even luckier. Well, you've got a perfect score so far. There's nothing like a boy to carry on in your footsteps, but... And some lousy heels will go forking around right in front of that sweet wife and that little kid. I dare say there is that type, Willie. But... I've got a name for guys like that, but I won't even say it. Yeah, I know what you mean. I appreciate your discretion. But... I've also got a couple of kiss for guys like that, and I'm going to use them. Well, bully for you, Willie. The sanctity of the home needs such defenders. Doubt, fellow. You want to take off your coat? Take off my coat. Well, don't you find it a little chilly out here? Okay, then you can take your dress up. Yeah, but I don't... It ain't broken! Are you going to lay out here on the grass all night? No. Is that you, patients? Can't you see? Not very well. I didn't see you around. I figured something must have happened. What did happen? Willie went berserk. Oh. Well, once he got flaky and tried to kill me. Good. I was just trying to get Susan away from him so I could take her home. He's in there hovering over like a mother hen. You say she wants to go home? I hope so, but... Are we going to get rid of that gorilla without the police? I'll handle that. I think she should go home anyway. I need you to stay where you are and I'll send her out. Well, be careful, patients. The guy is dynamite. When I get started, I'm a little like TNT, myself. It's been time to be on our way. George is waiting outside. My patients, you astound me. I'm really not ready to leave. I'm having a wonderful time. In fact, I'm planning to go out tomorrow to watch Willie shove some dirt around. See there? Well, sister, why don't you sneak out somewhere and get real lost? Why don't you button that big fat liquor yours before I forget I'm a lady and slap you into the rear slash? Patience, Patience. George is outside on his back. This missing link almost killed him. Willie, is that true? Well, now, baby, it was just a plain case of duty, and I done it. When a guy cheats on a wife like you, I figure I... A wife? Are you out of your mind? Oh. Ain't that kid over there your son? Sammy, my son. Good heaven, you must be insane. That's the way George sees it. Miss Susan, you better get out of here now and take him home. Yes, Patience. Yes, of course. Oh, of course. George is all my soul. You know something I don't like you. I'm going to count to ten. And if you're still here, I'm going to use your head for a bowling ball, your legs and arms for pins, and I'm going to make the most beautiful strike you've ever seen. Well, this day must be gone. Real gone. Hi. What's the camera doing? I can't look George. George is in good hands now that he's got your claws off him. Hey, I'm for sure I like that craze. I'm quite sure you don't, and that's the way I wanted it to be. Well, what am I going to do now? I just had a horrible thought. Believe alone and you're alone. Does that give you any ideas? Yeah. Yeah. It sure does. Oh, thanks. Don't mention it. Now that we're home, does your face feel better, George? It's still there, isn't it? Yes, it's still there. No, it's gonna feel better. This is all my fault, and I made a mess of everything. No, no, it was my fault. Oh, I can't tell you how sorry I am. Don't forget it. Next time I go to a box-upper, I'll start saving up five years ahead. Patience to get home yet? No, not yet. Sammy's bringing you home. Wasn't she wonderful? Yeah, great girl, Patience. The way she handled everything. That is out of all my trouble. She's real special. Yeah. Some people are born to get into trouble, and other people are born to get them out of it. Excuse me, George. Hello? Miss Susan? What, Patience? Where are you? You know Sammy's hub rod. I've heard of it. Did you ever think it would go 70 miles an hour? No. That's what we tried to tell the cop, but he was stubborn. Patience, where are you? In the cooler. There are little stuffy about fail. Do you think you and George could... Yes, Patience. Yes, of course. We'll be right down. Just stay there. That will be no trouble at all. George, we have to go to the police station. Patience and Sammy are in jail for speeding. In jail? I've never been through such an evening in my whole life. Miss Susan, I have just one question. With all the trouble they cause, will someone please tell me how box uppers ever became so popular? Our two stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McBurray, will be back with us in just a moment. If you saw this, I happened to notice it in the morning's edition. What's that? Under married licenses. Willie Hopkins and Wanda Finnegan. No kidding. That certainly happened, Pat. I just hope that what I told Willie wasn't the cause of this. What did you tell him? Well, I told him that Wanda was a very wealthy girl. Was that wrong, do you think? No, I don't think so. Because I did the same thing. You did? I told Wanda that Willie was really loaded. Oh, George. What'll happen when they find out the truth? We'll still have each other. You know, playing Cupid really becomes you, George. Thank you. Well, tell me a thing for charity. George, have you ever heard that charity begins at home? What? All. Come here. That's my first contribution. Thank you, George. We'll be back next week in another exciting comedy adventure in the Gay New Series. This is Wendell Niles inviting you to join us then.