 So today we're gonna explore why a man might choose you over another woman and really we're gonna dive into what sets you apart From other women now in full transparency. I saw this video on Matt Vogg's YouTube channel. I watched his video. I loved everything He had to share so I'm gonna be sharing much of exactly what he shared But my own version of it and it's because I believe when something is true It's universal. So this is what I think is truth and it's universal So I'm I'm thinking back in my own life to those few women that felt different from other women I met just felt something felt different Something unique something special something safe all of these types of emotions and feelings were stirred up inside of me And what's fascinating to me? I said this ever before I became a dating and relationship coach. I Said to one woman in particular. I remember this about 15 years ago While we were together and I'm gonna be candid with you while we were intimately together I said to the words I said to her this feels like home. This feels like home. I Don't want know what caused me to use that phrase Physiology it just there was something about it and the eye what does home mean to everyone? I want to explore that for a second, but what I also thought was Fascinating was once I became a dating coach I heard a woman tell me a man said the same thing to her and then over the years I've heard this from other clients of mine that men have told them that you feel like home So I created a little acronym around the word home of what I thought it might mean then maybe this might resonate for you But the H stands for happy You're happy to be with this person. You feel a sense of joy. You feel a sense of fulfillment You feel a sense of excitement When you're with this person, there's just something unique when you're with someone that feels like home Now the O stands for optimistic optimistic and optimistic is that Viewing in the future that this person is your your your beloved this person is the one you're gonna go the distance with and by the way I'll be candid with everyone. I might have said they felt like home But that shifted later and we'll dive into that in a moment as well But the O stands for optimistic the M stands for She's memorable There's something about her that is memorable. In other words, there's something about her that you just will never forget And I'm sure maybe you felt this for yourself. I know I've been in the presence of women Who I felt a sense of just they're memorable You know, there's something unique about them and the last the E stands for Enthusiastic and what I mean is I said earlier, you know happy I mentioned the word excited but I'm also the E stands for excitement enthusiasm a sense of delight to be with this person and that's Part of what home feels like it feels safe It feels it feels like I want you to think about it You're home like if you walked into another person's home You might feel, you know, you might feel, you know a bit of uniqueness to it But it doesn't feel the same as when you walk into your home It's like when you stay the night at a hotel. Yeah, it's a bed It's a warm place to say but you've been on vacation You've had a good time. You've seen the world you've been to Rome. You've been to Greece You've been to the seashell islands you've been to the Maldives You've been to Bora Bora, wherever it is, but there's something about coming home and what sets you apart From other women is what I'm about to share with you that feeling for a man that it feels like home Okay. Now as we dive into this again, I want to Reiterate that what I'm sharing with you comes from Matt Boggs I didn't come up with this but as I said in the beginning of this broadcast when something is true It's a universal truth. So I want to give him credit for this acronym Because what he shared really I think Makes it really helps understand What it is that men and women want to experience in a relationship and while this title says this sets you apart from every other woman You know to some degree this sets up you up sets up a man apart from every other man In other words if men were watching my channel So he came up with the acronym of peace And when you think about home you think about safety you think about comfort And you think about it's peaceful There's just something when you're at home Hopefully you're experiencing this not everybody might experience this when they're at home But they're feeling a sense of peace So the acronym he came up with and again, I have to give him full credit for this I cannot take credit for it, but I'm just going to give you my interpretation of this The p stands for positive Possibilities positive possibilities Okay, now if you remember my video from a couple days ago, I talked about Beginners mindset beginners mindset see sadly in the dating realm today We are operating for those of us in midlife. Okay, so let's be clear Midlife is quite a bit different than those women in their 20s and 30s You know women many women in their 20s or 30s are like a blank sheet of paper their life is being formed But for those of us in midlife For those of us in midlife We kind of have our lives grooved like the Grand Canyon to some degree And so one of the things that comes with this grooving of our lives Grooving of our lives groovy lives grooving of our lives Is that we might have had some Unhappy experiences particularly when it comes to love many of us are by the way 75% of singles over 45 years old are divorced And when you're divorced you come with an unraveling of the tapestry of an old life And what happens oftentimes is many people are stuck in negative possibilities Why I mentioned beginner's mind is the idea is to approach every new person without the residue Of somebody in your past without the residue of somebody in your past and and look at every like i'll be candid with you Look at I know many of you are on the dating sites. I'm on the dating sites I'm on dating apps and when I see a notification come in Um, you know statistically speaking they're not going to be the one just statistically speaking But I always open up the email or I open up the app with a sense of positive possibilities because today might be the one I want you to think of like, um I was going to say einstein, but I want to say it's edison who invented the light bulb It's funny how the e name is stuck in my brain einstein, but it's edison who created the light bulb Okay, and within that There you know the story is it took him two thousand tries or ten thousand tries to make a light bulb And someone asked him You know, how does it feel to fail so many times? He said I didn't fail two thousand times I just learned two thousand ways not to make a light bulb in other words Every single time he tried a new approach He went at it with beginner's mind with positive Possibilities and that's one of the things that will set you apart from everyone else Okay, the peace process the e stands for embrace the present moment Embrace the present moment. Okay. Now my interpretation of this is learning not to get ahead of yourself And I think sadly, you know, there's an old I remember a woman. I was speaking to one time I was coaching she talked about back in the In the 60s 70s and 80s when women were dating and they liked a man They would they would well if the guy's name was jonathan asley will use me as the or matt boggs You know if her name was cathleen she'd go cathleen asley cathleen boggs, you know in other words Trying out the person's last name. I think we get ahead of ourselves too quickly Now I want to share with you something that I witnessed from a friend of mine and this might Resonate with you. It might not she met a man online She happened to be traveling abroad at the time She was going to be out of the country for three months and she met a man online and they began Talking and they began talking via zoom And over the course of about a month no less than a month they accumulated a hundred hours a hundred hours of Face time of zoom time with video chats with one another Okay, and within that hundred hours They decided he would fly out to meet her And he flies out gets an airplane. She's got a spare bedroom. He's gonna stay in the spare bedroom although Wink wink did that really happen? and within 48 hours She didn't like the guy anymore within 48 hours I mean all this Anticipation was built up all of this Intensity was built up. They both jumped the gun. They got ahead of themselves Embracing the present moment basically is being in your lane in the moment. It's not about getting ahead of yourself That's my interpretation of embracing the present moment each time you're with somebody. It's a new experience And it's important to be present in this experience so again Just like beginner's mind if you're stuck in the past if you're if you're jaded you're bitter from the past And you carry that with you. You're sometimes for some of you It's impossible to be present in the moment because you're so stuck in the past And I think when you clean up that energy you have a greater chance for achieving success You know, it's difficult. By the way, have any of you practiced being present? I did an exercise once Where I stared out a window and this was taught to me so I can't take credit for it And I just noticed what was outside I noticed a bird I noticed a plane I noticed the wind As the the trees were rustling. I noticed the the leaves were rustling And just being present to what I've noticed See So often We're so worried about what to say next. We're so worried about pleasing somebody. We're so worried about Making a good impression or worse We're so oftentimes judging a person. Is he the right height? Does he have the right cologne on, you know, does his breath smell nice, you know I mean like the list goes on and on there's all these judgments Instead of being present to the moment Embrace the present moment. That's the e the a stands for accept yourself Well folks, I wrote a book about self-acceptance. It's called what the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development self love and spiritual self-help and spiritual work folks One of the most critically important factors in a man Looking at you different than other women is do you accept yourself or are you self critical? or Are you judgmental of even other people? Not even realizing that it's a reflection of yourself Ah self acceptance boy. This is a hard one to do Oftentimes we have to peel layers upon layers upon layers of hurt pain That we've experienced in our past and it's so difficult to lean into What it feels like to just love yourself Do you know most of you know I did the Hoffman process? And I always recommend reading the book the Hoffman process This is a deep dive into hailing childhood wounds and adult traumas By the way, all the books I recommend are listed in the show notes and in the first comment during the fifth day of the Hoffman process we did a It was uh, basically it was a birthday exercise. It was a play date exercise and it was literally a full day of play like little kid kind of play You just got to play in the playground. You got a little stuffed animal. Where's my stuffed animal? Oh, it's in my bedroom I got a little a little lion stuffed animal. So apropos for the leo and me At the end of the experience I went outside and it was a beautiful night with all the stars out because we were in the mountains And I knew what it felt like to be wrapped in a blanket of self-love Wrapped in a blanket of self-love. I want you to picture because that's what self-acceptance is and this will set you apart From every other woman when you can embody That acceptance of yourself that self-love self-worth self-esteem self-confidence self-reliance See self-love is about your individual sovereignty and yet sadly so many of you women give your power away to men But jonathan, this is the way it's been taught to me men are the leaders of the relationship and I must submit To men because this is what other coaches are telling me Wrong You are never supposed to submit to another person. You are a sovereign human being A romantic relationship should be like a partnership And I'm yelling right now. Okay get into your calm It's okay to yell jonathan folks I am here to scream at the top of my lungs on this one because I cannot stand the rhetoric of you You must submit to a man that the man is the leader of the relationship and I want you to think of two attorneys Two doctors two accountants that are going to start a firm together a partnership together and they have a 5050 stake in the business See that's the way romantic relationship be you don't need a leader in the relationship You need two sovereign beings and say let's co-create something together Let's co-create something together Now I know many of you prefer the one-up one-down type of dynamic and I'm spitting right now But I invite you for those that are my audience Don't you ever ever ever settle for being beneath a man? And I know they're not selling it that way But trust me if you have a leader that means they have veto power and you have veto power Not them Okay I'm your big brother here if I could be there for you on a first date I'd have the shotgun pointed at the guy's face and saying what's your intention with my little sister Because my little sister has value And she is sets she is apart from every other woman out there All right. I'm gonna get off my high horse here on my rant That's the a accept yourself self love the c stands for certainty See Folks you guys are by the way you women are no picnic. Let me tell you something You can be just as fucking flaky as man I've witnessed this time and time again You guys all want men that their actions match their words where you better be fucking putting your money where your mouth is Because guess what a lot of you ladies Are acting inconsistent And if you're inconsistent then we can't establish a level of trust with you We can't establish a level of certainty with you See being at home and remember I started this conversation of home Okay See home is all about peace. It's about comfort. It's about trust And so if your actions don't consistently match your words you act flaky Well, guess what we won't trust you. You won't feel like home. You won't feel like a safe place We'll go find another woman who operates that way and I know you act like oh, jonathan. I'm different No, you guys all of you Okay, not all of you a lot of you can be fucking flaky. Okay done cursing there And the e of peace Stands for engage the fun again. This is map bogs. This is mine But I love the idea. I said this in the previous video as well This mirror is something I just said the importance to be playful to be flirty to be sensual Like what's the fucking point of being in a relationship if there isn't play if there isn't if there isn't flirting us if there isn't Sexy sensuality. I mean that's the whole point And so what sets a woman apart is when she can embrace All of these that are listed Now why isn't that many of you haven't embraced this? Because many of you like many of like most of us We've been hurt. We've been wounded. We don't trust We're fearful And if you're afraid you can't embrace the positive possibilities if you're afraid You can't be present in the moment if you're afraid you don't accept yourself If you're afraid you're you're acting uncertain and if you're afraid you're not going to be a fucking fun person to be with So I invite you to use this peace process and one more last time I gotta give credit to map bogs. Okay Go watch his video. You can go to his channel. Just take this title pop it into your search bar and you go watch his But this is my interpretation of what it takes to set yourself apart from everyone else And so he'll choose you Versus another woman. Is this sinking in is this resonating with you? Please let me know if it is Post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts. I do my best to read them all in the first 24 hours Also, if you like this video, please hit that like button Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos as well All right, those who know my format know it's time for q&a All right If you know my format if you have a question write the word question in the chat box And then post the question thereafter or you can purchase a super sticker super chat All the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son connor asley That's a picture of him right there when he was three years old He's my son who passed away over five years ago and his honor We donate to causes like the hoffman process inside institute. We just donated some money to Um, a friend of mine who is going through stage four cancer So all of your monies do go to good use so there's a little dollar sign there Our goal tonight is 50 dollars. I would really love some love here tonight So hit that little dollar sign if you're watching the replay hit that super. Thanks as well All right, let's see what kind of questions we came up with here All right, jane spitfire and again give us some love. Oh, and if you want to get on the hot seat I just put the link for the hot seat there as well Jane To set myself apart from other ladies is how look be play how look be playful Do not bring up problems first time do not be grumpy and be proud of what I am good at Okay, that is that a question? I don't know if that's a question, but let's unpack that for a moment All right, I told you guys this story before about this date. I had this was I think it was 2017 And she walked into the restaurant with resting bitch face on I mean do you guys have you ever experienced that? Have you ever experienced a guy with resting bitch face? I don't know if it's resting asshole face face But I got to tell you I experienced it And it was one of the most miserable nights of my life and it taught me a fucking huge lesson That I actually implement in my private coaching if you need some support on how if you have a broken man picker I suggest scheduling a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you So it was an expensive lesson because I end up having to pay for dinner And I'm going to tell you something that wasn't on the game plan, but that's another story Okay, so coming back to your point here Um, you know being proud of what you're good at. Yeah, you know if you're good at something It's important to express that you know the totality of a person Is in their nooks and crannies And what you're good at is part of your life. It's part of the makeup. It's part of the tapestry of who you are You know, there's some people that say don't say too much on a first date leave some mystery I can tell you you can spend 30 years with a human being and still learn new things about them There is no fucking possible way. I could tell you enough about my life in a three hour date That wouldn't leave a gazillion hours of mystery. Okay Now I think it might be it might be hard to process everything. That's certainly true But that's why it's called dating you get to you look at dating is a is a process of repetition This is brand new for me. What I'm about to say dating is a process of repetition Getting to know someone over and over and over and over and over and over and over again To see if you feel safe if you feel at home if you feel at peace with this human being So, yeah, sure tell what you're good at I like that Rachel says I don't mind the cursing or spitting. I had very baby boys used to spitting burping and drooling Now is this related to men Rachel? Is it men that burp? I mean you said boys and I recognize you you could have had girls and had the same thing But I take on bridge with that. No, I'm just kidding. Okay um Hey, one of our facebook member groups Hey folks, if you'd like to have direct access to me on a regular basis check out the link to my group below called midlife love mastery This is where you get advanced videos of what's coming up On my youtube channel. I also interact with members and it's only 1997 a month check out the link below Okay, one of our facebook grandmenders says What can you say that is fun and sexy? um What is fun? You know, it's fun There's fun That's fun So there's these things called intimacy cards by best self. Okay intimacy cards by best self Okay I think it's fun for someone brand new Pull out. I'm gonna pull out a random card How would you describe? Let's not do that one. That's a money one. Let's find something a little more fun um How was your childhood upbringing shaped by your sex? Wait? Oh, here's one. How was your childhood or upbringing shaped your sexuality? Oh, that's an interesting one. How? Has your childhood or upbringing shaped your sexuality? um You know these cards offer some interesting conversations, you know folks. I'm a little bit unique compared to most people I'm gonna read you guys something. Um that illustrates this Hold on a second. Bear with me one second. I have to go to my favorites Okay I'm gonna read this out loud I hate small talk I want to talk about adam's death alien sex magic intellect the meaning of life far away galaxies music That makes you feel different memories the lies you've told your flaws your favorite scent your childhood What keeps you up at night your insecurity and fears? I like people with depth who speak with emotion from a twisted mind. I don't want to know what's up you know today Dating is like that seinfeld episode where kramer saying how's your day? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. I really really hope that you had a really good day. Was your day good? Did you have a good day like? Conversations amongst people are so fucking boring to me I want to talk about death alien sex magic the meaning of life far away galaxies Your insecurity your flaws your favorite sense. I don't want to know what's up Everybody's text messages What's up? I hope you're having a good day like ask something fucking radically like You know, I'm thinking of something tell me about a childhood wound that shaped your life to me Okay, now for some people that's way too much I get it because most humans most humans have look at it most humans emotional maturity and relationship skills This is my chart. It's not a fact. It's merely an opinion have clinical issues And while I state that 20 of the population is healthy with the emotional maturity and relationship skills By the way, I'm being rather generous dysfunctional We humans are really fucked up That's what makes life actually if you want to look at the absurdity at dating today. I mean, it's absolutely absurd Human beings are ridiculous to one another It's his fault. It's her fault. It's her fault. It's his fault You know humans don't take ownership to their own dysfunctionality The day I was having a conversation with a woman who literally I mean really stepped into the shit And I mean she I mean with a guy. I mean and she's paying penance for it right now Because she got sucked into the fantasy The fantasy of a relationship and not the reality But it's kind of it's humorous and she's beating herself up and I feel bad for that. She's beating herself up. I get it But it's kind of funny I know that doesn't sound funny and we talked about it and we laughed about it too Because if you can't laugh at the absurd things we do as humans To me, that's fun. That's sexy. Anyway, I got off on the tangent, but I hope I answered your question. All right, let's keep going uh, Brenda Christa thought um The c was for consistency in map bogs. Did I make a mistake? I thought he said certainty which means consistency But if I made a mistake then I gent I truly apologize um So let's keep going here Bump bump bump bump. Gamer christian christ Christina excuse me gamer christina When a man shows you a lack of interest example taking all day to respond back and asking me out to dinner With two hour notice. How do I tell him? You're offended How do I tell him i'm offended? Do I even have the right to be okay? When a man shows a lack of interest example taking all day to respond back and asking me out for dinner well If you were offended Okay, so let's do this If did you have a plan in advance? Okay? Well, it sounds like you didn't show much interest. He waited till last minute Okay, now. I don't understand why you were offended like why does that offend you? I would certainly be hey I'm grateful someone asked me out now. They They they didn't operate within the realm of what I need And that is I need advance notice For to get ready to prep and so they if you felt offended Maybe you felt like he's taking advantage of you or taking you for granted. I could see that Okay, and what you could simply say is something like this Thank you so much for offering to take me out to dinner at such late notice. I'll be candid with you I don't have enough time to prepare Maybe when maybe if we can arrange this with more advance notice, I'd be up for it. You say maybe But I know I mean I I understand you probably feel like the offense is that he's taking you for granted But I think that's more of what the emotion is, you know that he's taking you for granted I you know, again, I guess you can look at as being offended And and the way I would respond is the way I recommended. Okay gamer. I hope that helps Bump bump bump bump bump Gamer Jane says that's a good question. Okay, Carol's in the house By the way, does anyone want to join the hot seat? Come on have some bravery I'm really spunky tonight. It might get kind of fun Care or coral When you say the man will choose you over another woman, I mean that is like a competition I thought both had an equal say in choosing one another You know what fair point, okay now The title of this what sets you apart so in the active dating process To the extent it's not a competition, but the reality is is because of these devices We're we're we're competing for each other's time to some degree You know, I mean we have to and I'm not saying you're competing over another woman But we're we're wanting to spend time with someone So what sets you apart and what makes him choose you over a different person Is going to be how you show up because if you show up with resting bitch face You ain't going to get a second date. He'll choose a different woman So how you show up in your sovereignty your self-worth your self-esteem self-confidence is what sets you apart So he'll choose you over another woman But also and if I didn't clearly state this in the beginning, which I absolutely believe I did I said this goes both ways. I said this in the very beginning of this broadcast This sets you apart from every other this sets you apart This sets you apart from every other woman and if men are watching this sets you apart from every other man Okay, so yes, it's a mutual choosing. I fully agree. Hey, uh, wow Look at that 49 99 Purchase several of your books for four of my students We got to give you a lot of love feminine one Okay, now our goal is a hundred dollars tonight a hundred dollars a hundred dollars is our goal tonight. Thanks for the love feminine one Oh tia tia says I love this Replace resting bitch face with resting smile face. I do resting smile face and it makes me feel great Okay, you know what folks something I do when I'm swiping on dating apps, okay I first on put on a smile and I open it with a sense of enthusiasm beginner's mind positive possibilities Embracing the present moment. You know what I do every time I swipe left swiping left means you're not interested or you might hit the x button I always say I wish you the best. I wish you the best. I wish you love. I hope you find what you're looking for see positive possibilities positive possibilities Positive possibilities All right feminine one big hugs to you Irene says jonathan, I remember when you had your friend on that had cancer lovely woman I hope she's healing not an easy journey. Yes that I just by the way folks. I just sent her a thousand dollars for the go fund me And it all came from contributions from our Scholarship fund so even though I applied it I felt like this person was in financial need So thank you for asking. Her name is patty. She wrote the book. Oh, where's her book? Oh, here's a bit Her name is patty tyranny for a good time surviving sex work addiction and to become the mother I was meant to be she is an extraordinary woman who is going through stage four cancer In fact, she by the way, I just had a colonoscopy yesterday Oh my god guys, you want to hear something absolutely funny? Okay So and I had the colonoscopy because sadly patty went in for a colonoscopy and found out she was rather sick So I had my colonoscopy. Do you guys know that they give you something called propa propa thal? Knocks you out, but they also give you a medicine That makes you have a memory lapse too. It starts with a v Does anyone know what that medicine is it starts with a v makes you have memory laps What turns out I'm in the recovery room and I'm kind of waking up and it feels like a dream And I make this I go. Wow. This just feels like mushrooms and the nurses said You've been talking about mushrooms for the last 10 minutes You were talking about all kinds of mushroom like I must have went on talking about my journeys and stuff like that I'm like, holy shit No wonder this felt like a dream because my memory was clashing with my forgetting or my My memory was clashing with what the medicine what does to forget so folks does can someone look that up? It starts with a v. It makes you lose your memory All right, uh, I by the way stacey you're gonna be on in a minute. I just want to give props to coral for the three dollars um Lauren will get to your question next so You're brave Hey Hello Have you been on before? I have But I'm gamer christina who just asked your question I want to clarify being offended Okay, yes I am offended because this man says he's interested in me We are in the middle of a conversation through text messaging And then you go blank For 12 hours. Okay. I understand if you're busy but This is the beginning of dating if you're interested in someone. Why would you leave them for 12 hours just? gone blank Okay, I have isn't that a I am weeding out the people who are Inter not interested and he is showing a lot that is a red flag lack of interest that He he just has no interest. He's telling me he does but Okay, so are we commenting on the fact that I was I was Okay, so I was not criticizing but I was addressing the word offended Or which I can understand now that I have a little more clarity on what you were talking about in your question So give us some context. How long had you been communicating with them before this happened? Um Just a week Okay, so first. Oh, so you were communicating for a week. Okay. Yes, and then um, and was he consistent Throughout the previous conversations are very consistent and then um Just wait. Let me ask some questions. So then um, did you guys ever speak on the phone? Um, no he Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Ladies now stacey. I'm talking to everybody Please Stop this incessant text form of connection It's going to lead to moves like this. Okay, so let me keep going. I had to interrupt you to say ladies No long version text messaging. Okay a few text exchanges should lead to a telephone call or two That should eventually lead to a date So he went on for a week and then tell us exactly what happened in this exchange Um, well, you remember you've seen me before I am homeless Oh Yes, so it is um freezing weather out Uh, he made a comment saying he wanted to go camping, but it's freezing weather outside Okay I messaged him back said you pussy y'all you need is a blanket and you'll be just fine because Okay That's how you And then he went blank for 12 hours right after that. So okay, so let's okay. Let's play with this for a second So maybe he took a fence To your characterization of him He came back 12 hours later saying he had a dinner with family and he just forgot to reply Okay, um, so exactly what you said you pussy. There's always a blanket and then he went blank Okay, okay, and um, all right, so What I don't like about text communication. Okay text dialogue. Okay, so let's this is really critically important. So I'm glad you're here It's difficult to have a dialogue via text sometimes the message it like what you're saying and what they're responding to can be different You know like you're out of sequence. Okay, that's one thing that happens The other thing is that's happening is sometimes we take a you know We can take a very long time to respond because we want to process something Now it's quite possible in that moment. He took a fence. Okay, and he's like, ah, you know what? I'm I'm got dinner plans what he didn't do Which was apps of fucking Lutely inconsiderate Was to say hey, I've got dinner plans. I've got a run. We'll catch up another time I am in that I I think it's very fair to Have a to be offended by that lack of courtesy on with him. Okay So why not tell us what happened when he did reach out 12 hours later? What did you do? Um, what did I do? I um Did not respond Okay, and when did that happen? He didn't he didn't ask me any questions or anything He just explained it. He said it 12 hours later. So that was Um on saturday morning. He okay. Yeah, and there's been no communication sense. Is that right? And then today he messaged me Wanting to take me out to dinner with two hours notice, but he knows that I I've told him I work at night. So if you're any interested you would know she works nights Okay Okay, so so where do you stand? I wanted to I want to tell him I'm offended But I feel this is only a week. Do I even have the right to be offended like Okay, so now your question is do I have a right to be offended? So I'm gonna the non-violent communication Communication would look like this and quite frankly. This is very difficult folks We human beings we're not designed to what may I pause you? I am at work. So I called you on my break, but now I have to run back But I'm gonna listen to you on my headphones as I work. So thank you so much. All right. All right. Thank you All right. Bye now. So I'm gonna continue on here folks. We human beings were not designed To communicate with our thumbs. It's just not a genuine form of communication because our brains weren't designed to communicate this way Okay, we were designed to communicate Verbally, that's the I mean there was no writing for hundreds of thousands of years. Okay So, you know, this is a relatively new technology. Okay. I want you to think about this Did you guys ever watch the 10 commandments? Did you see people texting each other? Emailing each other writing each other Communication literally only up until a few hundred years ago has entirely been verbal Well, maybe a you you put a little note in a pigeon and you sent it off That was the that was the original wireless text message was writing a note on a pigeon So so she's what I would respond back Stacy is saying look, you know going back to our communication the other day I want to be candid with you We were having a dialogue with one another and you disappeared on me And I felt I felt very disrespectful that you just completely abandon our conversation and And in that moment, I felt very disrespectful. I felt Disrespected It's not the way I operate and I'd like you to know that about me And if if we are going to continue this, you know getting to know you then I have a need of You know communication that if you're going to Go off and do something else then simply state you're going to do something else because quite frankly it was disrespectful And I just want you to also know it was rude now I normally wouldn't be accusatory like that, but the fucker needs a little kick in the ass that was rude It was absolutely rude and sometimes you got to smack people upside their head So even in non-violent communication you can do it in a loving way But sometimes people need some harsh truth as well Okay, stacey. I hope that helped. Thank you so much for your question. It was really truly appreciated All right, um, let's go by the way, I miss I know a lot of people wrote questions 10 or 15 minutes ago I scrolled right past those so I'm scrolling up By the way, the medication is called versed Boy did that fuck with me? And it goes with propethol. All right, let's keep going Let's see Bump bump bump Rachel says stacey. You're a brave woman You know, it's interesting You know, I I wonder how okay by the way stacey has been on before I give her a lot of props By the way, didn't she have a great energy? She's got a great smile. She's a pretty woman Um, she's choosing to live in her car right now to save money I wonder from a dating perspective how many men will actually accept that I say that as a curiosity I don't know I doubt that I would I'll be candid with you. I I I might have a cursory judgment around that I'd need more of the backstory. Uh, again, I don't remember the backstory, but I will say this. Um That um You know, it it would be a tough one and I give her a lot of bravery for putting herself out there. Okay Um, and by the way, Gina, isn't that the anesthesia that killed michael jackson? First off, I was with an anesthesiologist yet I might have been that was performed in a very for michael jackson Sadly, it was an addiction on his part. It wasn't like a part of a colonoscopy like I was going through Um, let's keep going but anyway. All right. Here's a question sujin han Jonathan would women having three dogs be a turnoff for men? You know, there's an interesting conversation centered around this So I was speaking to a woman. Oh god. It's been a little while now I can't remember how long ago, but she was dating a man who had I believe two dogs And they lived about an hour apart from one another And it after the first date he kept saying I need you to come to me because of my dogs And what she realized was that, you know, his dogs were actually You know A problem in this relationship because I mean she loves dogs But he wouldn't come visit her because of the dogs and so I believe those who have pets actually could be more Responsibility than children. I mean actually pets are almost like babies. So if you're um, you know, if you're a Empty nester like me somebody who has a pet. It's almost like they have babies because they require You know, they don't need the same type of attention as babies, but pretty close to it So it can be problematic unless two people live near each other. Um So I'm just aware that that's happened with this one woman I spoke to and I just didn't you know, I suspect it goes in reverse as well Um, I'm just I love dogs by the way But I can see how a dog could be almost as problematic as in this, you know A person in their 50s or 60s as having babies Just a thought especially if you can't bring the dog Because she didn't live in an environment where he could bring the dog to her You know, so she always had to accommodate herself for him Okay um All right, let's keep going here By the way, thanks for all the love so far. We need 40 more dollars to get to our goal of 100 dollars tonight Okay, do you have any questions? Okay, fox in the garden Can straight men and women be friends if they are commit they are in committed relationships to each other What's your opinion? First off the answer is yes, but and I don't like using but I preferred the word and okay Men and women can be friends I have a very dear friend. Her name is tammy. She we've known each other for 18 years. We met on match.com Um, it was one of those first dates where we hit it off, but there was no love connection So over the years we just developed a friendship. We would call each other talk about our dating experiences little by little We we spent we hung out together did stuff. Um, and little by little We were each other's therapist and we developed she's probably my My closest if not my best friend. She's my certainly my best female friend in my life uh, we have 18 years of history of of really being each other's therapist In some ways but being each other's dear friend. She was so there for me when my son passed away I was there for her through many breakups in her life and we developed a good friend So the answer is yes Now we didn't have a romantic connection. So let me go. Let me take this To my second most significant relationship after my divorce When we broke up for the third and final time I said to her we need to take a break from our friendship Because if we talked about emotional things with one another it would bring me back in so I needed to set a boundary because If you talk at an emotional level with a former lover it can absolutely be problematic So I think taking a break now in her case that that particular relationship She um actually met someone rather quickly after we split up Um they began a relationship. They've been together for six years now. Uh, I know David I've spent time in their home. Uh, we're we're sharing. I are still good friends with each other She's more like a big sister to me because we have a circle of friends But I needed to stop that emotional connection So now let me fast forward with Marie You know Marie and I are friendly to each other, but we don't communicate at this moment in time as friends Why? Because it would suck me back in and I need I need a sense of a I need a boundary for a little while And I believe she might as well. We are friendly to each other. We said Merry Christmas to each other happy new year You know, um, there was something regarding her daughter. She needed some help with but we are not We are friendly to each other, but we're not friends at this moment I think when both of us are in significant relationships with someone If we want to continue some level of friendship, that is okay. Now. I'm just giving you a couple different scenarios I'm going to last but not least talk about my ex-wife We went through a contentious divorce and we were not friends for a long period of time And it wasn't until about six seven years after our divorce that we began mending our relationship And certainly at the time Connor passed away It actually brought us closer together and every once in a while we get on the phone We talk to each other because we have this shared experience. We talk about our other son Colin You know and to some degree we even went out to dinner the other night with another mutual friend because they lost their child And while she wasn't my date it felt like a date, but we were with this other couple I was grateful that we have this shared experience that we could be friendly to each other So, you know, I I believe if two people are in committed relationships and there is absolute Transparency with the people you're in relationship with. Yeah, I think you can be and if a person has a problem with the friends in my life Then they're not my partner if they have a problem with the friends of my life Then I don't if someone has inherent trust issues Then they're going to be problematic in other ways for me personally, but you have to answer that for yourself Fox in the garden. Thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it All right, let's keep going who else anyone else want to be on the hot seat stacey was brave Let's see if anyone else wants to be brave bump bump bump bump. Let's go swim and let's find some questions Okay Here's a question guide liken to All right, rachel that looks like a bunch of gibberish. I can't figure out what you wrote there um Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump Oh cupcake says I agree. It was rude. Yeah, what he did was fucking rude You know what? We got a we got a smack guys and girls upside their head when they're rude Oh, by the way, I was communicating with a woman and she completely disappeared for a while and that fucking pissed me off It was rude Uh christine eldridge says is that the same woman in her car? Exactly. That was a brave woman. We got to give her a lot of props All right Let's see if you have a question write the word question and post the question they're after One of my facebook members says pets can be worse than children I spoke to a guy who slept with three iris setters. No room in his yeah You know, that's another thing I've seen with you know wet men and women they they're dogs like their dogs are even more They're such an emotional support person in their life that there's almost no room for someone else I'm not saying always, but I've seen this Happen a lot the pet is such an emotional Support person in their life. There's actually no room for anyone else as in the case of the bedroom as well All right, let's keep going bump bump bump Rachel says fact jonathan is full of wisdom and while not perfect no offense It's wise because he speaks from experience from the heart You know, I just I call it the way I see it and it resonates with you guys because you see it too But jonathan we're supposed to just sit back in our feminine energy and let men lead You know, I'm always bringing that up as a tongue-in-cheek joke Because most dating advice is so fucking superficial Let's call it for the way it is human beings are fucked up It's rather humorous how dysfunctional are dating marketplaces and when we can laugh at it We can actually learn to navigate it with a little bit more Um appreciation at least in my part anyways Drew Morris what narcissists do they say suck you back in that's what narcissists do Okay, I don't understand what that's about, but thank you for sharing that Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump. Oh fox in the garden says great answer. You are very welcome Christa says I find jonathan's willingness to open up in previous relationships that didn't work out are out more vulnerable than the got a lot of guys who brag How lucky they would be to be with a woman to be with to lucky women would wait Find more valuable than a lot of guys who brag on how lucky women would be to be with them You know what folks? I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm incredibly sad it didn't work out with marie and I I really had high hopes And while now reflecting back I can see Why we were not right for each other in in the fullest sense. Okay I think she has some I think she'd openly admit She has some healing to do on her part and she has different Aspirations than me and I have I have my own healing in my own part and I have different aspirations than her I'm I'm grateful that I'm grateful. I went all in I really am and I'm grateful she look at she went all in the best she could She's really a fantastic human being. I have great deal of respect for marie And in the experience of being together roughly 14 15 months I got to experience I have the closest thing I've ever had to a healthy relationship and I'm okay that it wasn't meant to go the distance Look at if it's not right for one person. It's not right for both people And the sooner two people can figure that out the better Like would have been better if we figured it out a month sooner. Yeah or two months sooner. Yeah, or three months sooner Yeah, but in our particular case we lived the relationship Went exactly the amount of time it was meant to there was almost no we had no problems It was just a misalignment And why I share this with you and I wish I could even be a little bit more granular about what happened But out of respect for her and out of respect for me. I can't I recognize that What I've experienced Is what so many of you women experience being in a relationship with someone who ends it Being in the relationship. Well, see I got to be careful because I want to be mindful her But certainly a lot of what you experienced is what I experienced So I understand not only understand I can empathize And so I get the emotional ramifications of this fucking dysfunctional dating dynamic So I made a vow to myself to do things differently. I've been on the dating apps for three months I've not gone on one date I get I get dozens of emails. I get I mean I I'm blessed. I wrote a fucking awesome profile I mean I wrote Fucking awesome profile. Maybe I should read it to you. Okay number two. I put together quality photographs There's no misrepresentation. I put together quality photographs ladies Nine out of ten women who write me. I'm not interested in them because you got a fucking shitty profile That's a judgment. I'm sorry, but I'm I got to call it for the way it is just like that guy was rude I'm gonna call you out Those of you watching you mostly all have shitty dating profiles and I'm looking for that woman That's like like the north star the brightest star There's gazillion stars and most of you have there you're so your profiles are so crappy that it's not worth You can't notice it Okay, that's my judgment. I'm gonna own that But I'm I'm not going out on a date just for the sake of dating I know a lot of dating coaches will teach you it's a numbers game. No It's an attraction game You are not if you're looking for a needle in the haystack your job is not to burn down the haystack Your job is to become the electromagnet. I've already put the electromagnet out there My beloved will find me. I don't have to do anything and I'm inviting you To set yourself apart from every other woman out there Become an electromagnet set if you're going to be online dating as an example Your profile should be so fucking stellar That your inbox is so full that you can literally go check check check check check check check and go that's when I'll go meet And if you need some help and support with that check out a link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right For you the reason why dating is miserable for so many of you is because you're not setting yourself apart from every other woman You it's like garbage in garbage out And I'm sorry if I pissed a few of you off, but that's the fucking truth Okay, that's the does anyone agree with me? Does anyone say yes, Jonathan? I agree with you. Can someone write that because I want to know if this agrees with you Oh Sharon says read your profile. Okay, since you asked Bump up. This is my match profile Okay, rachel says I agree with you facebook. Okay, so let's go to profiles view view Okay, I'm going to read you my essay. By the way my photograph crystal clear quality By the way, that's you can't see it on it, but it's crystal clear. Okay All my pictures are crystal clear. This is what my profile says Okay For the past five years after losing my son I've been on a deep exploration to find out who I really am beyond fear and ego A journey of self-love who seeks a marriage-minded woman or at least living together Who wants to explore the depths of love? This isn't about growing old with someone. I want to grow in life and in love with a remarkable woman Now I won't shut up about things like because it says I won't shut up about dot dot dot I'm fascinated with human behavior personal development and the meaning of life spirituality Especially in the area of self-love and self-worth We're a fit if you have a curious mind and i'm attracted to an inquisitive woman interested in expanding mutual consciousness Let's say that personal development and spirituality are my jam. Is it yours too? The depth of a soul is so vast that we need lifetimes to get to know our true love My heart yearns for a woman capable without the distractions of doing of going deeper to explore The truest meaning of what it is to love Wait, I lost my plant a lot I desire and seek someone who can go down Down rabbit hole conversations wanting to know how I feel and what I think As I do the same for her the person the person with A The person with a curious mind versing wanting to know what's up Most humans talk to each other instead of with each other which they believe is communication in my world real communication is intimacy speaking from the heart importantly hearing from the hearts The way I describe myself is tall with dark hair with a teddy bear heart Maybe I'd say i'm a good guy with an edge and yet i'm human with insecurities or dare I say flaws The thing that freaks me out most is condiments I can't stand to be near ketchup and mustard and yet what I can do is hold your heart like a precious jewel as your lover and heart protector Professionally i'm a writer speaker coach who chooses to be more of service than chasing money or power because I want to be spread self-love to all who are suffering At the same time the universe has seen fit to award award me with abundance And i'm financially self-sufficient seeking a partner who is the same Ideally I'd like to meet a conscious empowered woman who is a combination of feminine and masculine in the sense that she is Both a giver and receiver She has a big heart that yearns to be expressed with healthy emotional maturity and good relationship skills and can truly open her heart to love She is either an empty nester or no children with the time to explore and play in the depths of love Ideally she'll be self-employed and free to spend time regularly here in redondo beach She is a natural giver without being a doormat. She's financially independent has a generous sharing nature Who would be interested in plant-based medicine journeys to explore deeper consciousness and spirituality? The question I'd like to ask each other is who am I? Who are you? Let's explore the journey side by side Thank you kindly for taking the time to read this ps. I'm a graduate of the hopman process Insights seminars one two and three. I'm a big fan of abraham hicks Joe dispends a course in miracles if you have a strong desire to join my mission to spread love and awaken human consciousness Please feel free to write me all I ask is that you read this profile carefully and ask yourself Are we a fit? Okay, some of you are probably going holy shit that is intimidating Guess what? I want to intimidate the wrong person. I don't want to attract I don't want to attract the wrong person. I want to attract the woman who reads that and says this is me See if you want to be a bright shiny star to set yourself apart then it starts by the energy you put out particularly In the dating realm now beach lover says do they read this? You know what? I get a lot. I by the way I get dozens of messages every day from all the different platforms Some of them read them. Some of them don't maybe they're just looking at the pictures. I don't know Do you guys remember that six hour conversation? I had right before new years I'm gonna tell you she read it. She recognized me. Oh by the way I went to Abraham Hicks seminar this past weekend and I got recognized by three women. It was kind of cool but my point is When something resonates with your heart and it's truly what I'm looking for is a woman Not not a woman who passively is like Your dating profile is energy If you want to stand out like a bright shiny star, then you're gonna have to make You're I'm gonna encourage you all to approach the process with a lot more self-love And put a great representation of yourself. The thing is we are there are a million stars in the sky How to make yourself stand out? I did my job. I'm inviting the woman to do the same and if she doesn't then she isn't gonna catch my attention And I'm just giving you I'm inviting you to do the same thing Wait a minute this one. I I just got to address this net net detective says I definitely need to put not interested in with friends with benefits on my profile wrong That is the worst thing to do by the way Any guy who's that? He's gonna write you you are literally inviting in the wrong guy. You were inviting in the wrong person Did you hear anything negative in my profile? Did I say anything that even remotely said what I don't want? the minute it's like this you're playing golf you're about to You're about to You're on a par three. It's surrounded by water and you say don't hit it in the water Don't hit it in the water. Don't hit the ball in the water What you're going to do is hit the ball in the water. That is the wrong thing to do net detective Rachel says have you given any thought to sun and moon signs in relationship to your destiny and personality and potential? I'm into that stuff, but I you know what? Every woman I've ever been in relationship according to the charts. We were perfect for each other so And they were they were perfect for what I needed Universe god universe the universe knows exactly who to send my way rachel. I don't need to guess I don't need to look it up I already know the universe will take care of the the hard work is the universe is going to take care of the Hard work. I'm just going to trust to stay in my lane Put the energy out there to be seen to be a bright shiny star out there So my beloved can find me because we are swimming in so many people out there. It's like being in a football stadium Going is it this person? Is it this person? Is it this person? Is it this person? Is it this person? Isn't this person? No become the magnet so they come up to you. That's my invitation for everyone Do you agree with me if you do say jonathan amen? Okay Rachel says wait, what did rachel say jonathan? I have a lot of leo's in my family love them dearly, but do I dare say I'm a scorpio and my ex was a leo By the way, scorpion. I by the way, I had the best sex with the scorpio boy. Are they a lot of fun? Oh, by the way, all my relationships with gemini's don't seem to work out So I get it Bump bump bump bump bump By the way, all right Maybe it's it's funny because you know the person who's going to be my beloved my true love It'll probably be a gemini, you know like the universe saying okay. We're just we we're going to send you this one We're going to but we're going to send you the right. I don't know I don't care what year they were born and what day of the week they were born. What I want is alignment um My ex-wife was a cancer. I said I would never date a cancer in the first woman I really appreciated after my divorce. She was a cancer. So who knows Hey, folks, did you get value? Okay, this sets you apart from everyone else. I just want to remind you This was a video that I watched of mattebogs I shared the peace process with you all. I cannot take credit for it I just gave you my interpretation of it because I felt like it was truth And truth is universal nobody owns truth. Okay, they don't own truth. It's just truth Okay, and I appreciate that he did a great job putting it out there I did my own version of it Watch his video go to his website or go to his youtube channel type in this sets you apart from every other woman Watch it and see if there's any uh crossover and let me know what you think. All right Oh, wait tia. I got to read this Yeah, what did you guys think of my dating profile? What'd you think? Wow, jonathan. I just thought after you read your profile I thought about joining the coast to coast dating site a great place to meet people We're in the deep meaning of life, etc Okay, cool. Well, thank you for sharing that Beach lover says jonathan, you need someone who shares your passion for helping people joins you in your mission I know that's what Catherine woodward thomas who wrote the book. Where is it? Um, where's calling in the one? Fuck, where's the book? Oh, here it is Oh By the way, my dear friend wrote the book calling in the one Okay, and we and we interviewed her on the channel twice. Okay. She said jonathan You need a woman who's gonna who's gonna join your mission. So I agree with that. Thank you so much beach lover um Let's see what else All right, folks. Look it's been an hour plus. Thank you so much for allowing me to be in your lives tonight I had a loads of fun. I hope you found value in this conversation Look at if you did if you have something to share post a comment below Also, check out all the links to Schedule a discovery call with me to join my group called midlife love mastery to find me on instagram Check out my dating vows. It's all listed below and it'll be in the first comment And also if you found value in this video, please hit that like button Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell So you can be notified of new videos as well. We're gonna wrap up this videos I always do first off give myself a big gigantic jonathan bear hug himself love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear a pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank corny cob and sherry and jazz and leafs in the house and lauren tie julie beach lover hope Uh christa Marianne rachel laura live learn grow Lindsay christa cupcake robin Uh gg tia Uh christin magic entertainers in the house another scorpio Coral carol coral, right? It's cor is that coral, right? Um dillis uh nia alina Kathy everybody debbie big hugs Big hugs to you all have a fab evening. I hope you found value in this Have a wonderful fabulous night. Be well. Thanks