 You are about to be entertained by some of the biggest names in show business for the next hour and 30 minutes This program will present in person such bright stars as Eddie Arnold Charles Boye Joe Bushkin Mindy Carson Imaging coca Jimmy Durrani Lifton Webb Meredith Wilson and my name darlings is through a bank head The National Broadcasting Company presents the big show The big show 90 minutes with the most scintillating personalities in the entertainment world Brought to you this Sunday and every Sunday at the same time as the Sunday feature of NBC's all-star festival And here is your hostess the glamorous Unpredictable to Lula Bankhead Well darlings, this has been a most hectic week I've been engaged to do a series of lectures all over the country And I've only just returned from my first engagement at Southern Methodist University deep in the heart of Texas Oh, and what a reception I received from those friendly enthusiastic audiences down there deep in the heart of Texas Oh, they're wonderful people. They're almost like us up here in the United States And I'm so looking forward to going back very soon way down there A deep in the heart of Texas What's going on back there? Oh, so if you'll pardon me darlings I'd like to say a friendly hello to all the friends. I'm made down there A deep in the heart of Texas Yankee musicians Well so much for small talk and on with the big show and a very special and dear friend makes his appearance here today Clifton web, I've known for a long long time about 67 years What is that? I told them about six or seven years Yankee writers Incredible the great Tallulah reduced to radio Clifton well now I received your frantic cable in London. I took the first plane back. How's the trip Clifton swift I had breakfast in London lost it over Newfoundland And arrived in New York that night and I got your cry for help. I thought you were broke I thought you were ill. I thought you were dying These I wouldn't mind but Tallulah bank had on radio What would Sarah be an assay Eleanor a dozer? I don't see that old crowd anymore darling I'm in radio This is my new medium and couldn't your new medium put you in touch with that old crowd Lifton, this is a new crowd. They're big names in radio. Haven't you ever heard of Fibber McGee and Molly? Fibber McGee and Molly and you put yourself in the same class with those three No Clifton the Fibber McGee and Molly are only two to indeed you're forgetting to do I wrote the song Just Molly and me and baby makes three The baby's name was Fibber Obviously darling, you don't know very much about radio. You should become more familiar with it I already have a contempt for it, which familiarity usually breeds Well, how can you talk about radio that way Clifton do you realize it every Sunday? I can reach 20 million people. How fortunate for you. It's not the reverse. I Promise you Tallulah had I known that you were having to descend to this. I would never have invented radio You invented radio. Don't play the startle fawn dear Surely you've heard of the network web on radio stations Mr. Belvedere you're beginning to take your movie role seriously Oh, and how is your old crowd in the movies Abbott and Costella? Sabu the elephant boy Francis the mule and Betty what's her name? Surely to know you're not mentioning motion pictures in the same Breath with radio Don't talk to me about radio. I've seen those popcorn classics in which you appear Clifton really a babysitter and that other picture cheaper by the dozen you were father of 12 children I find myself suddenly bored. I think I'll go to my club obviously the stock club Obviously darling Noel Coward is not writing your material these days And I think if you're starring in those smart sophisticated comedies Noel wrote for you Did you see him in London darling? Yes? I telephoned him there this afternoon. He asked about you Did you tell him I was on this radio program? I wouldn't dare I told him we're unreleased He'll be happier that way Happy happy no, I just mentioned his name the other night during one of my lectures. Oh, I didn't tell you darling I'm lecturing now, you know all over the country and what patent medicine are you selling? Clifton, how dare you doesn't it get cold this time of year on the back of those wagons? Darling, I'm lecturing on the theatre. In fact, I've just returned from a triumphant engagement way down there a deep in the heart of Texas That's a quaint arrangement. Is this the clack that you travel with? Look here you baby burping boy. No, that's more like it This is the to Lula. I've known and loved for so many years, but tell me why have you sunk to this? What does it get you money? But why to Lou how much money can you keep how much have you got left after the government takes out the Taxes that lack of yours can't even spell You Can't those performing seals of yours do anything besides beat their fins come here married darling. Yes, Miss Bankhead Haven't you some music prepared for this program? Oh sure. We were going to play you go to my head. Oh good darling Oh married it. This is this is kitchen web. Oh Gee, how do you do mr. Webb? I'm a big fan of yours. Why I used to see all your pictures back in Mason City, Iowa That's my hometown, you know, but I don't suppose you ever heard of Mason City, Iowa Mason City, Iowa Population 27,080. It's the county seat of Cerro Gordo County Situated 100 miles from Des Moines and the mayor is a mr. H. E. Bruce whose term expires in April 1951 And I should be there to help re-elect it Well gee it sounds like an exciting town the way you tell it mr. Webb To Lou who is this Oaf? Please Meledith is one of the most accomplished musicians. He is not an Oaf. He seems only half there. Well half an Oaf is better than none Ladies and gentlemen Meledith Wilson his big show orchestra and chorus in one of Meledith's famous chiffon arrangements the thrilling you go to my head My soul To Lula since you insist on making a public display of yourself here I've come to the conclusion that as your oldest and dearest friend I should come to your rescue Now the two of us can hold this hour and a half Milan's together very nicely. I have great plans for you Darling, I have great news for you It may come as a shock, but there are other stars on this show Jimmy Durante for one James Durante with to Lula Bankhead the nose and the throat We can do very nicely without him One around here has a plaque Even if the Lula was to do that I Hear someone mention my name Everybody wants to Ranny too bad. I ain't twins. We could share the same nose You know the famous snar Zola the snar Zola 2200 feet above sea level You know Clifton, don't you darling? Oh Clifton. How are you mr. Fatterman? I'm glad to meet you. You know, I sent some questions into that program of yours long distance, please Yeah, me you're wrong. You're thinking of information please again. I've got the wrong number Alright information, please. I sent some questions in and they answered every one of them Even that tough one about who was the first president of the United States One of them guys made a lucky guess and was I mortified? Why was I mortified? I wanted one of them encyclopedias? But no who gets the encyclopedias the smart guys who stumped the exploits they don't need to encyclopedias They know all the answers, but thumbs like me that don't know the answers. We don't get no encyclopedias Would you mind repeating that question How do you like that? I finally stumped the expert You don't even know the question Darling, I ought to tell you this is not pleased to Lou. Please. Please. Let me Mr. Durante, I am not Clifton Faderman As you so aptly put it yourself again, you have the wrong number Surely at some time in your haggard existence You must have stumbled into a cinema and see me on the screen in a very fine motion picture Which I gave a superb performance as the father of 12 children your papa dion Sorry wrong number. Don't tell me you're Barbara Stanwyck Young man and I use the term loosely. I'll try once more In my latest motion picture 20th century foxes for heaven's sake I play the part of an angel who comes to earth as a cowboy. Oh, yeah, I've seen that picture. You couldn't possibly it hasn't been released yet Well, maybe I lost my place It hasn't been released yet Maybe if it's a good little picture, maybe if I ever found it yet Possibly it hasn't been released yet Maybe if it's a good little picture, it will get out on parole Not quite no not quite Now I'll tear him to shreds to match those clothes. He's wearing What's the matter with these clothes? Have you ever considered having your suits custom-made? How can I I got already made body? The man who sold you that suit should be hanged and quartered. That's right hanged and quartered It was hanging on the rack that was a quarter off Got a million Besides I picked it up myself. You can't hold this suit against my tailor the way it fits you you have a suit against your tailor Like this guy who heads the list of the ten best dressed men in the country. I am the list Well, move over Well, move over and make the new champ I just came off the Queen Mary just today I feel spry and gay Say now all the interviewers down at the dock. They try to interview me and all the Photographers they tried to click me. They wanted me to pose for cheesecake But I couldn't get any so I posed with strudel Elsie strudel a shuffleboard companion I said no folks. You don't pass the situation Say I'm Jimmy that well-dressed man an international sort of dapper dad On Sunday afternoon, I can't resist the urge to walk down the Boulevard in my shiny blue search Just feel this 50 piece of gravity It's the finest piece of good you ever seen Now I hope you don't think that this suit is all that I own why it's ridiculous Why I spent three thousand dollars a year on what balls alone I only the other day I went to my tailor and I ordered a shot true Them riders think they're writing for Clifton web The other day I went to my tailor in order the purple coat Revoisible shoulders Lavender chapeau With a peacock feather and a ming vest live mink But instead of a walk-in stick I bought myself a baseball bat because if I ever pass a pool room in that outfit I'll be ready I set the styles for the social plan Till I showed Ronald Coleman how to dress to kill He didn't even know his worsted from his English twill You know, I'll never forget walking into the theater this morning wearing the new pair of Sears and Roebuck slacks And what happened the first time I bent over Sears and Roebuck dissolved partnership Thank you to do how about your friend there? What does he think oddly enough? I liked it. I can't think why There's an appalling lack of technique. The diction is cluttered the attack Inconsistent the quality brush and lacking in delicacy and still oddly enough. It intrigued me Thank you. I think Gentlemen, which one of you is Miss Bankhead? Emojin Cocoa I'm too little a bank head darling and gentlemen. I want you to meet one of television's brightly stars Emojin Cocoa Mr. Webb, Mr. Durante. How do you do, Mr. Webb? Just the minute he's web How could you ever have confused us? Well to tell you the truth? That's why I came over here tonight Why Emojin? Because all of us at home sit around and listen to your show on the radio Particularly my mother. We listen every Sunday. We hear what's going on, but we just can't see it I just can't see it either and I'm right here Well, that's the way we feel at home. So I promise my mother she's sitting at home now listening I promised her I'd kind of describe what's going on So you people go right ahead and do whatever you're doing and I'll try to explain it to my mother I won't be in your way. Will I? Yes Oh, well, let's get on with the show. Where were we darling? What was saying? I was talking to Mr. Fadiman here when it Put the camera in the wrong place. I'll have to excuse myself I was talking to Mr. Fadiman here when in sheet comes and she says her mother wants to see this show on their radio You can't do that. That's television without television It's bad enough to have television without entertainment, but television without television, that's double gelapide Hope I'm not misquoted. See you later to do About Miss Bankhead's dress. I'll describe it to you. Remember the dress we saw at Macy's And they wanted extra for the alterations because you thought it was too tight Well, this is an expensive copy of that one and she didn't have the alterations. She doesn't care how tight it is The peplum and the lace collar lower on top and longer on the bottom. That's her dress in yellow You just stand here and let this television actress take over the show. Is that the usual procedure ma about Clifton Webb He's wearing white gloves with blue stripes. I beg your pardon. Oh Excuse me ma those are his hands with blue veins Ma you were wrong. She's got all of her teeth You keep that up darling and nobody'll be able to say that about you Person you get a much better picture. No white lines going through them and everybody has only one face not three You see Miss Bankhead we watch television all the time My mother and I watched the baseball games all last summer the Johns. I hope oh, no, we went to the Yankee Stadium Oh Don yankers again, and were we surprised to see that Joe DiMaggio's number was five Not five hundred and fifty five. Oh Ma here comes a very pretty girl. I don't know who she is, but she just smiled at me. Why it's Mendy cousin Mendy come here darling. I want you to meet Clifton Webb. How do you do? Oh, how do you do mr? Webb I've looked forward to seeing you in person. Thank you If I'd have known what you looked like I'd have looked forward to see you in person ma They're not even looking at each other. They're looking at their Oh, may I of course darling Meredith. How about some music for Mendy, huh? Why sure? What would you like to sing do you have bushel and a pack Meredith? Oh, I think we can find it ma He's been ready to play it for five minutes One more crack out of you darling, and I'll send you back to Caesar and I mean Julius Mendy darling, would you please sing huh? I love you a bushel and a pack a bushel and a pack and a hug around the neck hug around the neck and the barrel and the heat Barrel and the heap and I'm talking in my sleep about you Talking all about you cannot live without you because I love you a bushel and a pack You bet you pretty neck. I'd listen Mendy Carson. We're gonna get a Carson can't say a mind if you do Cuz I love you a bushel and a pack a Bushel and a pack though you make my heart a wreck Make my heart a wreck and you make my life a mess. Say we make your life a mess Yes, I miss a happiness about you. I love you a bushel and a pack You bet you pretty neck Well, I love you a bushel and a pack a Bushel and a pack yeah, and it beats me all the heck Beats me all the heck how I'll ever tend the farm Everten the farm about you about you than the dick and say the cows and chickens Cuz I love you a bushel and a pack you bet you pretty neck Oh Emma Jean will you please stop that Cliff and how'd you like Mendy not bad at all form good movement excellent In fact, one of the finest voices I've ever seen Thank you, thank you, mr. Webb, and would you do me a favor? Would you give me your autograph on this piece of paper? Certainly my child in which language language Arabic, Hindustani, Greek or just plain old everyday ancient Phoenician Well, I'd like it and plain old American, please. How gosh very well Here you are. Oh, thank you so much mr. Webb. Ma. Wait till she gets home and finds out She hasn't got Clifton Webb's autograph at all. It's the sound man Wait a minute stop the penmanship. Don't you want my autograph? Oh, but mr. Durrani I already have your John Hancock. Maybe from John Hancock, but not for me Well, I'd better break this up right here and ring my chime. This is NBC the national broadcasting company a big show This is the national broadcasting company Sunday extravaganza with the most scintillating personalities in show business The big show the Sunday night feature of NBC's all-star festival is brought to you by Chesterfield The only cigarette that combines Wildness with no unpleasant aftertaste the cigarette that brings you pink posby and Bob Hope By RCA Victor world leader in radio first in recorded music first in television By the makers of anison for fast relief from pain of headache neuritis and uralgia and by your local Ford dealer Who is now displaying the new? 1951 Ford the car that's built for the years ahead The big stars on this program are Eddie Arnold Joe Buschkin Charles Boye Mindy Carson Imogen coca Jimmy Durratti Clifton Webb Meredith Wilson and the big show orchestra and chorus and every week your hostess the glamorous unpredictable Tallulah Bankhead Been having a difficult time trying to keep the big show intact this week That's because there are so many diverse temperaments to deal with now first is my friend Clifton Webb the talented stage in motion picture star He resents my being on radio entirely. I resent her being on radio entirely. He thinks I'm debasing myself by being on radio I think she's debasing herself by being on radio Clifton is getting a little too old to accept new ideas. I think she's debasing herself by being And then I'm having a little difficulty with Imogen cocoa and she's a television star She's been listening to our show on radio with her mother Her mother misses being able to see the performance as well as hear it My mother misses being able to see the performance as well as hear it So imagine is describing to her mother whatever is happening on stage. So I'm describing to my mother Whatever is happening on stage. I have a feeling. She's quite impressed with us. Oh, that's not in the script She's ad-libbing And then we have a Jimmy Durante with us, so he's a little confused about one of our guest stars I'm a little confused about one of the guest stars He has Clifton Webb mixed up with Clifton Phanuman. I have Clifton Webb mixed up with Clifton Finnegan As a result, Jimmy has become psycho neurotic hypersensitive and psychologically unstable as a result I have become here we go Psycho neurotic hypersensitive and psychologically I belong in a stable Well, of course, of course, I've been waiting to introduce one of my very favorite people the world-famous stage in motion picture star His name is Charles way He's a dear friend. This is our share of me Charles. Oh, just a door Why should I shut the door? I did not open it That was what Jada door means Charles darling, you know Clifton Webb, don't you? Of course. Hello Clifton. How are you as well as can be expected on these miserable circumstances? Tell me Charles. How are things in Paris? Tallulah Paris are such wonderful memories But you know I've been living in Hollywood for many years and no one asked me about Hollywood The only question they've asked me is how are things in Paris? Well, Charles, there's so many more interesting things in Paris. They are also in this country But darling in Paris you have such gay boulevard. Well, here we have six avenue You have those colorful fire it impestuous apache. Yeah, we have the Brooklyn Dodger fans. Oh dear my poor John's And those wonderful romantic Frenchmen who flake with you as you stroll along the sidewalks of Paris I told you here. We have six avenue and you had the Follie-Boucher But yeah, we have fifth avenue on a windy day Those little old ladies gossiping about that shopping at the marketplace and here We have been cross be and Bob Hope two little old men who also like to gossip There we go where you've been genius and some corner drugstore getting your kicks at the comic book counter No, no, I was at the prescription counter admiring your picture on the iodine bottle There's a delightful picture of you on the Lydia Pinkham bottle Seriously friends skin Flint and I we do agree 100% on this Chesterfield is the cigarette that everybody ought to be smoking Right and they will Bob when they find out how easy it is to prove that Chesterfields are milder Sure, it's the easiest test in the book Just get a hold of a packet Chesterfields and open them smell them and smoke them compare them with the cigarette You've been smoking you'll find the Chesterfields do smell milder and they smoke mild too Back never leaves an aftertaste so open a pack give them a smell This Christmas give Chesterfield Christmas cartons with Bing Crosby as Papa Santa Claus Ladies and gentlemen one of America's most popular folk singers whose records have sold in the millions 14 million to be exact and here he is with bank book to match Eddie Welcome to the big show Eddie, and I want you to meet Clifton Webb. Hi, you're all mr. Webb. We're all splendid Clifton Eddie is one of our great folk singers a southern folk singer. You come from Tennessee. Don't you Eddie? I do and you come from Alabama. Don't you ma'am? I do sir. I now pronounce you Mason and Dixon I Must draw the line somewhere. I Want you to be nice to Eddie Arnold. He's come all the way up here from Nashville to be on our show Mr. Webb's probably never heard of Nashville Tennessee. You'll be sorry you gave him that straight line Tennessee one of the 48 states population two million nine hundred and fifteen thousand eight hundred and forty one Tennessee is bounded on the west by Arkansas on the north by Kentucky on the east by North Carolina And on the south by Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia as you can see it's practically in the middle of nowhere How dare you Clifton sir you have insulted a flower of the Southland And I'm forced to thrash you within an inch of your life. How cliche can you get? Sir defend yourself. I intend to beat you to a pulp. Don't you dare touch me? Well, if you won't defend yourself, sir, I'm going to play my guitar and sing. Well, if that's my choice beat me to a pulp Never mind that Yankee he's still angry because the north lost the wall What are you gonna sing first darling a lovely little thing the love buggy When the love bug bites you don't know where to scratch It keeps right on the bite and then it begins to hatch it makes the old feel young and the poor feel rich It's just a little thing To the day I held My baby on my knee along came the love bug and took a bite of me I put my arms around her title of verse Hitch I tingle and anew ahead the love buggy Oh, I love her lips. I love them close to mine I love them cause they taste like a drop of cherry wine. I'm gonna stick to her Just as if she's glue. I'm itching for her. I know she's itching too My pulse beats fast my fever starts to rise My heart goes pity-pat when I look into her eyes. I break out in a sweat Then I begin to twitch. There ain't no vaccination for the love buggy You don't know where to scratch It keeps right on the bite and then it begins to hatch it makes the old feel young and the poor feel rich It's just a little thing this call the love buggy Darling we'll be seeing you later on the show You know darlings in many ways and little things the times we're living through now Are quite like the restless hours and uncertain times in which F. Scott Fitzgerald's fascinating people live their glittering moment Charles Boye joins me now in retelling here on the big show one of Scott Fitzgerald's most poignant stories from his work All the sad young men here is the adjuster My mission is to heal those who are hurt But my treatment takes time. I do the best I can but I promise nothing nothing at all I remember well a whole generation I had as a patient. It was called the 20s You remember the 20s they lived they were already damned They danced and they drank and they played as if yesterday had never been as if tomorrow were a lie There was a sweet sadness in the air an ineffable sadness that belongs somehow to the young You heard it in a tea time music at the rates of 1920 heard it in the gossip of irresponsible young women like Luella Hempel No, no, Edie. I do love my husband. I hope I haven't given you that impressing with all this talk Well, as a matter of fact, I cried myself to sleep last night because I know we're drifting slowly, but surely to divorce what Well, why most of the time we've eaten restaurants hotels peakies it You know, I'm not going to be tied down to housekeeping Of course John hates it In fact, he hates everything I like. Well, that's just too bad I sat home long enough while the baby was on the way while I was nursing him But now I'm I'm sorry for John Edie, but I'd rather he be unhappy than me. No, no, no, no, darling You mustn't pay the cheque. I've got the money right here. Oh Goodness is late. Oh dear. We've got to run Have you already sat in judgment upon Luella Hempel do not beg of you to not be hasty Remember you must give her time Yet, I promise nothing nothing at all Is that you Luella? Yes, John. Sorry to be late. I bought someone home to dinner. This is this is dr. Moon And this is my wife. Good evening, Mrs. Hempel. I hope I'm not interfering with any arrangement of yours Oh, not at all. I'm delighted you're coming to dinner. We're quite alone such a nice house, Mrs. Hempel And let me congratulate you on your fine little boy. No, thank you, dr. Moon Do you specialize in children? Oh, I'm not a specialist at all I'm about the last of my kind a general practitioner the last in New York. Anyhow in fact John stop rubbing your face. Oh, I I'm sorry. Well, I as I was saying I invited dr. Moon here tonight because I I wanted him to have a talk with you Talk with me. Well, dr. Moon's an old friend of mine, and I I think he can tell you a few things Luella that That you ought to know I don't think exactly what you mean. There's nothing to matter with me. I don't feel Believe I've ever felt better in my life. Excuse me. I I'll let it arrive. I I'm terribly sorry dr. Moon. Obviously my husband is not himself tonight Well, yes, told me a great deal about your Satisfactory life together. I wonder if I can be of any help in smoothing things out I can't imagine what John has told you dr. Moon, but I'd much prefer to discuss something else Oh, don't be afraid mrs. Hemphill. Oh, I'm not the least afraid of you dr. Moon. Tell me about your trouble. I'll do no, sir Didn't you see him rubbing his face? Are you blind? Becoming so irritating to me that I think I'll go mad. I see no. No, you don't see Don't you see I've had enough of home. Don't you see how bored I am with keeping house with the baby everything I want excitement and I don't care what form it takes or what I pay for it as long as it makes my heart beat I see you don't see Oh, I've tried to be good. I'm not gonna try anymore If I'm one of those women who wrecked their lives for nothing then I'll do it now Then call me selfish silly anything you like and be quite right, but in five minutes I'm going out of this house to begin to be alive Well, what are you listening to? What did you say something you're not going out. I'm sure you're not going out. I am going out You see mrs. Hemphill your husband is not well He's been trying to live your kind of life and the strain has been too much for him He does things like rubbing Mrs. Hemphill, can I speak to you privately? Oh, it's Mr. Hemphill He came into the kitchen and began throwing the food out of the icebox. Oh, it's horrible He smashed things, now he's crying and laughing so it tears your heart out His sudden shock can seem to last in eternity Moments later it is only in Ian hours later and here months later an hour Was so in the case of Luella Hemphill Mrs. Hemphill you seem well. I am well dr. Moon. Thank you. I congratulate you on the way You've taken hold of things, but I haven't taken hold of things at all I did what I have to do just it but the house isn't going I had to discharge the servants all but the nurse He doesn't know her business The baby's sick and everything just as messy and terrible as it can be Well, would you mind telling me how you found out that the nurse doesn't know her business? You find out various unpleasant things when you're forced to stay around the house When you have to cook clean take care of a sick baby tend to an emerald husband You've made progress, but I feel somewhat discouraged as I told you I promise nothing I only do the best I can what do you mean you've done nothing for me Nothing at all nothing yet. Mrs. Hemphill it takes time Oh, I've met your type before for some reason you think that you have a standing here as an old friend of the Family, but I don't make friends quickly and I haven't given you the privilege of being so so personal with me Now if you'll excuse me dr. Moon, I have what Mrs. Hemphill, Mrs. Hemphill, please come quickly nurse. What is it? What's the matter? What's happened? Oh? No, no, my baby Never made me months look in the mirror and find themselves Years Yet somehow the heart is heedless of time The heart is reluctant to yield. I needed patience with Mrs. Hemphill Mrs. Hemphill you go away your husband needs you. I don't care you haven't anyone now, but him I hate you if you like I promised nothing, you know I Do the best I can you'll be better when you realize that your baby is dead But he has been dead for a long time lie You always lie All right, my baby is dead What shall I do now your husband is much better or he needs now is rest and kindness Perhaps you think you made better dr. Moon. Perhaps he's nearly well did it well with his hair turned almost white Yes, I'll go to him I'll go to him in a minute. I'll leave me alone. You hear Get out. It's almost over now. I can go I'm free free Not that much. I'll get everything ready Then I'll see John out. I'll say goodbye We were just talking nurse thinks it'd be a good thing for both you and me if you took me out for a ride today instead of her No, John. Not today. I don't feel up to it. What you're dressed for going out dear. Yes, John. Yes Let me kiss you John Why Louis or your your cheek is wetter. Are you are you crying? No, no, I just want to say goodbye I'm free now They got the traveling case Open the door. This is ample. No, no, no, you can't run away from yourself I've got to go away out of this house of death and failure. You haven't failed you've only begun Let me pass. No go back and tell the nurse you'll take your husband for a drive. I can't I can't All right I'll go back Stand together bright and strong and the moments of tragedy are light years away Pinpoints hardly visible to the naked eye. I Always do the best I can yet. I promise nothing But it is nice to remember that I was able to help Luella handful I'm fit again Luella. They tell me I can go back to work tomorrow. Oh, I'm so happy John Oh tomorrow after work meet me. We'll do the town celebrate. Oh, you've got it coming old girl Yes, Mary someone to see you Mrs. Hemphill. Oh, thank you. I'll be right back John. Well, what about that celebration? Tell you the moment darling Dr. Moon I have called to say goodbye. I'm going away for good, but you can't I need you No, you don't need me anymore. You don't realize it, but you've grown up It's your turn to be the center of things the light and glitter of the world is in your hands Look in the mirror New lines New shadows that seem to be wrinkles at the corners of the eyes. Do you care? No Do you accept the fact that your baby is dead? Yes But all that seems so vague and far away. Yes vague and far away The household is in your keeping if there is any light and warmth in it It will be your light and warm if it is happy it will be because you've made it so Happy things may come to you in life, but you must never go seeking them anymore It is your turn to make the fire won't you sit down a moment longer, dr. Moon No, there isn't time, but remember that whatever suffering comes to you I can always help you if it is something that can be helped. I promise not Wait What have you done to me? Why why have I no sorrow left no sorrow left for anything at all Tell me I must see Yeah, I cannot see before you go Tell me who you really are Who am I? I am the last five years Oh there you are I've an inspiration Let's make it a real celebration tomorrow night cocktails and more a re-diner at the Plaza dancing. No, no darling You're coming home to me. Oh John John There's so little time and we have so much living to do Here's a word from RCA Victor Once upon a time to enter the world of magic people said open sesame nowadays. We say RCA Victor that golden password has long been admitting us to a one new magical world of entertainment after another In radio in recorded music in television and now comes the crowning RCA Victor magic piece a complete home Entertainment unit which combines the RCA Victor best of all three worlds in one beautiful cabinet Two radios AM and FM to automatic record changers to play all record speeds And of course RCA Victor million-proof television America's favorite You'd expect these RCA Victor combinations to be labeled for millionaires only Instead as your RCA Victor dealer will show you they cost far less than you'd pay for each console instrument separately They'll revive your faith in Santa Claus In fact Santa Claus will be with you permanently after he delivers your RCA Victor combination a magic piece which hands out free tickets every day to all the Grilla's in the world I want to retract in part the snide remarks I made about your radio program They're all splendid in that sketch by F. Scott Fitzgerald Splendid everybody splendid well ain't that splendid. I'm gonna splendid a little by self I'm gonna act act shades of paramour. Well pull them down if you don't want to watch I'm still gonna act you an actor certainly didn't you see my latest picture the milkman? Sorry, I never get up that early In the adjuster by F. Barry Fitzgerald And I even got myself a leading lady Amid Jean Cola Yeah, it's cocoa Cocoa cola. What's the difference? Come here, Amid Jean. There's two parts in the sketch bank head and boyer which part do you want? Okay, we'll do it the hard way Mood music if you're in the mood my name is dr. Moon I'm a doctor and I got a lot of titles to prove it I got an R8 G and an R8 GG. I got an MOP Not only that but I'm in business with my boy. You can see our names on the door dr. Moon and son My boy takes care of the office during the day and I take care of the office at night That way you get the sun in the morning and the moon Where a team my boy and me he takes care of the office and I go around sticking my nose into other people's affairs And what my equipment I do a volume business But I promise nothing The other day I get a hurry call to go over to Amid Jean Cocoa's house I get over there and there's cocoa nuts Get a load of the dialogue I do love my husband Oh You don't know it Mrs. Cocoa, but you worry too much I Used to worry one time. I worried so much my head turned gray overnight and it was laying under chiffon air I beg your pardon lion on the chiffon air Are you lying now you and my husband? He came into the kitchen through all the food out of the refrigerator. He's crazy through all the food out of the refrigerator Yes, the apple he ain't so crazy. You know, you're not supposed to keep bananas in the That's a lot of shellac, but what's so crazy about selling 14 million records? He's all them to me. What did you buy? I got news for you. He ain't crazy. You're the one that's crazy Anybody that bought 14 million records has got to be crazy and that's my advice to you But I promise you're not 10 million records. I'm cured. Why don't you take them doctor? I most certainly will not If I do that, what am I gonna do with my 14 million records? Jimmy I must say you were hilarious. Thank you, Miss Bankhead. What do you mean? Thank you everybody else was splendid We're only hilarious and you Clifton. You don't even look like we were hilarious. I'm sorry James I was just standing here thinking of the days of scott Fitzgerald And we lived life to the full and Broadway was really Broadway not a large papaya juice stand The theaters were theaters not television studios You remember to Lula we were in plays and Broadway in the theaters across the way from each other Of course, I was only a child Remember the gay little restaurants we went to the soft music and candlelight the exotic food I'm getting hungry. Just think about it. Let's go someplace and grab an exotic sandwich grab a sandwich That's the story of this era Not like the old days to Lula and the people and those wonderful mad people where they all gone I've just seen some of them, but they're on the continent Living a kind of life which seems to have disappeared here Everybody who is anybody is over there Yeah me Then the restaurants over here should be pretty Restaurants over here should be pretty empty Let's go in and grab a sandwich. I'm hungry Restore you to go to yes, yes, but who's what wine well, okay? Let's go to piers. What do we stand on here talking about a clip then? Let's go to piers Let's try to recapture those wonderful days. I'm one step ahead of you to Lou I asked kitty to meet us after the show. I saw her for one mad moment on the ski slope of periods as I Sped by I yelled to her see you at piers in New York Did you have fun over there darling? No, I'm the go all the time You know how it is the braces of Ascot who let a Monte Carlo swimming at me skiing in the Alps shooting in Scotland When did you eat? Who's there Clifton all the old crowd well the old crowds rather fit thinned out. I can see why nobody eats Let's try to pick life up where we dropped it in with our separate ways You think we can Clifton of course we'll go back some few years in time After all what is time, but a figment of man's imagination. It is now half past six figment watch time Let's go before you go folks may I say a word? No matter what you now take for headache relief We urge you to try anison for the incredibly fast relief these tablets bring the next time you're suffering from a headache Now the reason anison is so wonderfully fast-acting and effective is this Anison is like a doctor's prescription That is anison contains not just one but a combination of medically proven active ingredients in easy to take tablet form Thousands of people have received envelopes containing anison tablets from their own dentist or physician and in this way discovered the Incredibly fast relief anison brings from pains of headache neuritis or neuralgia So the next time a headache strikes take anison for this wonderfully fast relief anison a n a c i n Anison at any drug counter in handy boxes of 12 and 30 economical family-sized bottles of 50 and 100 We're off for peers Coming to Lula. Yes, darling. Do you remember where Piers was 54th Street, wasn't it? No, no it was 45th Oh, no, no darling. They moved 45th and they moved back to 54 Yes, but they moved back to 45th Street again. Can't we go to a restaurant that stand and stealth? No, I'm not only hungry. I'm dizzy Is he coming with us? Well, of course Clifford, of course. Jim is coming along very well James, but please try to look tall I must turn out the lights here. Oh just a moment miss bank it before you turn out the lights I'd like to say that this is the big show Being brought to you by Chesterfield the only cigarette that combines mildness with no unpleasant aftertaste By RCA Victor world leader in radio first in recorded music first in television By the makers of anison for fast relief from pain of headache neuritis neuralgia and by your local Ford dealer Who is now displaying the new? 1951 Ford the car that's built for the years ahead Now to Lula what you'd like to bring your child. Thank you, Ed. This is NBC the national broadcasting company This is the big show and to Lula Bankhead and Clifton Webb trying to recapture the memory of an earlier day I've gone to a little restaurant. They used to frequent years ago taking with them Jimmy Duranty Our party is now entering the little French restaurant. The proprietor greets them. I'm also a madam Mr. A table for two just a minute. How about me? Oh, pardon me? I did not see you. How can you see me? I ain't eaten all day. I'm the finish and American Here it's been a long time My old friend Pierre. Yeah, how do you do it? You haven't aged a day in all these years has he clipped in darling looks the same as ever Well, if Pierre looks the same as ever, it is a miracle because Pierre has been dead for 15 years Well to Lula we stayed away too long and what a pity There are so many old memories. I wanted to talk over with Pierre. Well, tell him to me If I don't get something eat pretty soon, I can deliver the message in person Reservation, of course we have a reservation with the past. I wouldn't you care to wait until mr. Barce arrives No, no, no, yeah, you don't understand Charles madam. You have a reservation. You don't understand job We've come back after all these years to take another look at the old place We remembered so fondly the priority may have changed, but the place is the same I already have that old nostalgic feeling remember darling expecting we used to use we used to say pure is the cats Oh, of course, of course a table for mr. And mrs. Pierre cats Well, would you care to check your apps at the coat room the young lady will take care of them Fifi darling look to Lewitt's Fifi still checking clothes Darling don't remember us of course we've changed but then so of you you used to be tall and dark and had cold black hair Now you're short and blonde My name is Mindy and darling hot quaint. You've even changed your name Well, you don't mind if we're gone calling you Fifi. You see we're trying to get back something We lost here years ago if you lost it in this cloakroom. You'll have to have a check to get it back Well, if we're only that simple to get back, but we're looking for all I'm looking for something to eat Follow me have a nice table with candles. Okay, I'll eat that Oh Here we are May I recommend a drink to start perhaps? Oh good. I'll have now just a moment to Lula. Yes, darling Let me see if I can remember for you I asked a very dry martini with a little onion Clifton you remember that for you darling a martini with an olive, right? You remember to hey Jandong make me a double double martini double olives and double onions I Remembered, I'm hungry. Oh just a moment. Yeah, Charles Tell Lula, what are we doing ordering martinis? Don't you remember? It was always champagne to start with when you're so right darling, of course champagne pure Charles and the champagne is here Yes, a quart of champagne and to Lula your slipper, please Oh I always did it was a ritual I insist on it give me your slipper if no darling there Now I have your slipper and now a quart of champagne and I'll drink from your Better make that two quarts I Insist here we are I drink to you my dear and to good days when life Champagne all over my clothes. Well, I try to tell you Cliff and slippers are open-toed these days James, will you please stop licking my suit? One of my favorite dishes herring bone with wine sauce When do we all have your picture taken read your fortune tell your weight scissors ground Unemployment insurance checks cash Eddie Arnold buttons and Ford motor cars Ford motor car That's right all over the country people who have seen the new Ford for 1951 are saying that it's the finest Ford ever produced It's a car that's designed with the future in mind for Ford engineers have actually Anticipated future trends to give you a car that will stay in style that will deliver years of satisfaction When you see it you'll discover this 1951 Ford offers 43 look-ahead features Luxury lounge interiors for example with upholstery fabrics that blend beautifully with body colors and interior trim Automatic ride control that adjusts the ride to the road to give you a smooth level ride The automatic mileage maker that enables you to enjoy maximum fuel economy Your Ford dealer invites you to see this new quality car as soon as you can You'll agree you can pay more, but you can't buy better Than a 1951 Ford Who do you have to know? Who do you have to know around here to get something to eat? Hey, Pierre Charles, Mr How about some frog's legs? Oh, what a divine piano? Okay, I'll take piano legs Who is that young man to piano would you ask him to come over here, please? Of course, uh, Joe Would you come over his name is Joe Buskin? Oh, mr. Buskin? I've been listening to your wonderful pianist just divine darling. Thank you, miss bankhead And I'm glad you dropped in tonight because I've written a song dedicated to you to me Dear boy, but you shouldn't have I call it portrait of Tallulah Isn't he sweet? But you shouldn't have well, I think it really captures the real Tallulah Isn't he dear? But you really shouldn't have well, maybe you're right. I shouldn't have I could change it to portrait of Betty Isn't he sweet? Anyway, play it fast. Won't you Joe darling? How do you like that? Now we're gonna have dinner music without the dinner Very much for that portrait of Tallulah. Clifton isn't it wonderful that someone should write a composition for poor little, oh me Come now Tallulah. You're not poor and you're not little You're just jealous darling because no one ever wrote a portrait of Clifton As a matter of fact, Toscanini and I are working on just such a composition He's writing the lyric of course Well, this has gone far enough. Hey, the F. The name is Charles How about something to eat? No, of course. What would you like to start with? Food. I'll do the ordering Tallulah, remember the wonderful delicacies they used to serve here What would you like snails mussels? May I recommend our specialty, monsieur? Of course Pierre Charles, what's the difference? Pierre Charles Bring on the food. I am trying to recommend something monsieur if you would give me but a moment. All right Charles. Go ahead My name is Pierre I thought you said Pierre was dead. I'm sorry. My name is Charles, but sometimes I wish I could change places with Pierre What was it you were going to recommend? Well, we had the most delicious gefilte fish Ah That's for me. Whatever it is Oh wait a moment, but just a moment I follow something. Tallulah. Yes, sir. I do remember the steak to be used to get here Oh, yes those tender thick luscious steaks. Oh, you do remember don't you? Yes, that's what we'll have Charles But the good steaks the dollar and a quarter steaks not the 75 cent ones Ah, monsieur the dollar and a quarter steaks are now with Pierre Lucky Pierre He may be dead, but at least he's eaten Dollar and a quarter steaks which you remember so well are now 650 You see the restaurant business is not what it used to be All of a sudden nothing seems to be like it used to be We came here with a feeling of nostalgia. My stomach is feeling nostalgia It's trying to remember the last time it had something to eat But if you want nostalgia, I can give it to you right out of the old club Durant back in the 30s When people used to eat once in a while and everybody was singing right with me Inc. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. Oh, what a tune Why you don't see I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I didn't get it It's got the whole world spooning You know, I went into the autumn at the other day I put a little nickel in a slot. What do you think came out? Dumb manager. It goes in Tickets bonbons a prize in every package just hold the ring up to the light Cache in the main dining room. Oh clip it. I think I will have some cigarettes. Young lady some cigarettes, please Yes, sir. What brand? I'll have the same as that fellow is having at the table over there Oh, you mean Bing Crosby Bing. Did you see that postcard we got from Bob Holt the one from Alaska? Say, you know, I don't think fat boy ought to spend too much time up there in the eskimo country You know how crazy they are about blubber Say what what is the postcard give me the vine on there? Well, uh, didn't you notice the postmark and postmark the valley of 10,000 smokes Could this Alaska Valley have anything to do with the fact that over 10,000 smokers make the Chesterfield Mileless tests every day. Well, I don't see how Bing you see the 10,000 smokes up there from Alaskan volcanoes Well, I'm sure Bob fixed so all those craters are now smoking those good miles of Chesterfield Friends, you can prove it to yourself that Chesterfield is the milder cigarette. Just open them smell them and smoke them Chesterfield, Chesterfield always wins first place That milder mild tobacco never leaves an aftertaste So open a pack give them a smell Then you'll smoke them This Christmas give Chesterfield Christmas cartons with Bing Crosby as Papa Santa Claus You were such a wonderful dancer. Let's dance now. Shall we dance? Yes, we always used to dance here. Didn't wait to lose Maybe this will bring back some of the wonderful memories. It's just like old times dancing here I fit right here one arm around my shoulder one arm around my waist the other arm around jimmy What are you doing between clipping and me? I'm dancing I ain't eating so I'm dancing Which one of you two is gonna dance with me or I'm no snob. Let's make it a threesome Jimmy will you please go back to the table and get yourself something to eat darling clifton and I are trying to recapture a moon Tallulah, I'm afraid we'll never be able to recapture. Oh, we must darling. We must we must we must Tallulah, you're crying please. I can't stand here. Well, you're standing on my foot I'm sorry You see we don't even dance well together anymore. Oh keep dancing darling. We're doing fine Tallulah, do you remember in the old days the way you used to sing along with the orchestra while we danced? Why don't you sing again now clifton darling sweet of you asked me but I couldn't really I couldn't please tallulah for me Well For old times sake tallulah our old times sake darling. Thank you darling We see In all the old familiar places That this heart Embraces all day through the park the children's car The chestnut peas The wishing well Clifton darling I'll be seeing this summer's day In everything that's bright and gay Think of you that way But I we see Can't rekindle old memories. You're right tallulah. Well, good night Pierre. I mean Charles Oh, that's quite all right, monsieur. What's the difference if you call me Pierre or Charles or even my real name? Maya They will always be a past And 20 years from now you would be as nostalgic about this evening as you are now About the evenings you spent with Pierre or sam which was his real name very well put sam. No, please. It's Maya That's an idea darling. We'll make a date to meet right here 20 years from now very well But please phone me the day before in my mind mate How about you jimmy darling? Will you meet us here too? I won't have to meet you. I'll be here still waiting for something to eat Well tallulah until then good night. Darling a good night kiss Oh, I hate these sad pottings, but if you must kiss me on the brow, please Ma she missed the brow by five inches Well darlings, we've come to the end of another big show Next week we come to you from hollywood And what a cast Louis Armstrong Bob hoke Dean martin and jerry lewis Frankie Lane And as always Meredith wilson and the big show orchestra and chorus and beginning next week an exciting new first in radio The actress company of hollywood joins the big show as a weekly feature This outstanding theater group Numbering among its members some of the movie's capital's finest creative talents Will bring you each week an exciting dramatic sketch especially adapted for the actress company I'm particularly pleased to welcome the actress company to the big show In as much as we appreciate stars who take an active interest in the living theater I'm looking forward to a pleasant and rewarding association Next week for its premiere on the big show The actress company will present rosin russell and darlitha maguire in the women And now the rest of the company joins me in hoping that until then May the good lord bless and keep you Whether near or far away Mending May you find that longing imaging May your troubles all be small fortunes tanton jimmy May the good lord Less and keep you Till we meet Again Eddie May you walk with sunlight shining And a blue bird May there be a silver lining Fill your dreams with sweet tomorrows Never mind what might have been glifton May the good lord bless and keep you Till we meet Joe May you walk with sunlight shining And a blue bird In every tree May there be a silver lining Back of every cloud you see The good lord bless and keep you Until we meet again Good night darlings The sunday night feature of NBC's all-star festival Has been brought to you by Chesterfield The only cigarette that combines mildness With no unpleasant aftertaste By rca victor Worlds in recorded music First in television By the makers of anison For fast relief from pain of headache Neuritis and neuralgia And by your local Ford dealer Who is now displaying the new 1951 Ford The car that's built for the years ahead Listen to the big show next sunday And we'll come to you from Hollywood And we'll have with us Louis Armstrong Bob Hope Frankie Lane Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis And the Actors Company With Roslyn Russell and Dorothy McGuire And Meredith Wilson and the orchestra and chorus And of course your hostess The glamorous unpredictable To Lula Bankhead The big show is directed and produced by D. Engelbach And written by Goodman Ace The George Foster Mort Green and Frank Wilson