 Lever Brothers Company makers of swan the soap with the exclusive super cream blend presents Swan with my friend Irma Starring Mary Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane Friendship friendship Just a perfect friendship when other friendships have been forgot There's will still be hot Oh So many times we run into that old controversial subject who is the more intelligent man or woman? Now me Jane Stacy, I like to stick up for us gals as an example of woman's intelligence I invariably point to Madam Curie Queen Victoria Dorothy Parker I think I'm doing all right until the opposition nods knowingly in the direction of Irma Peterson And Suddenly the ball game is over Now, please don't misunderstand me. I love Irma Peterson, but there are times when Well, for instance last night Irma was reading a book She read it through once and then I noticed that she started on the back page and seemed to be reading toward the front Honey, what is it Jane? You know you read that book through once. What's the idea of reading it backwards? Well, I want to be fair after all our two sides to every story See what I mean This goes on every day, and I'm certain that on this lovely Saturday afternoon It's not going to be any different, but I promise to meet Irma for lunch. So I better call it Clyde's office Hi, honey, you threw for the day almost Jane Do you know where I can find a Canadian stamp? Why do you want a Canadian stamp? Well, Mr. Clyde dictated a letter And he wants me to mail it to Canada right away Look sweetie, just put a United States stamp on it. Will it get there Jane? Sure. I have pull in Washington Sweetie, where do you want to meet me? Well, how about 49th and 6th? You know the corner where the fat policeman stands the fat policeman. Yes, you know the one who always says hello Irma Are you still lost? Oh? Yeah, that one. Oh, he's so nice and he's interested in my health too. He is? Yes, he keeps saying kid You've been standing in the sun too long All right, sweetie. All right, I'll meet you there in a few minutes. Bye. Goodbye. Oh, hello, Irma. It's you. You still lost? Oh, hello officer. I'm just telling my girlfriend about you. Well, that's nice. So you better cross now the lights green Thank you. Don't mention it. Just keep out of the sun I will Oh, there's my girlfriend Jane Jane. Well, shall we just walk do a little window shopping? All right, Jane look Jane isn't that cute the kids are making man out of snow. Yeah You know there are times and I think the man I'm in love with is made out of the same material Jane you just got the blues because Richard hasn't proposed yet. Yeah, I guess so well Jane I don't think you're handling him right. I think Richard needs some competition Something to make him jealous. For instance, we'll get some other girls to go out with him. What? Well, then you'll see how much better you are than the others. Oh, sweetie I've already used more tricks than Houdini. There's nothing a girl can do. It's a man's world. Well, that's what they say Yeah, you know sometimes and I feel like this. I wish I was born a man Not me. I wouldn't want to be born a man. Why not? Well, I'd look so silly dancing with Al Oh Irma don't be ridiculous Irma look ahead of you. There's an open manhole. I've been down there. There's nothing to see Jane What honey? Look at that window. Isn't that a beautiful bridal gown? Yeah It's very lovely Come on, honey. Oh, wait a minute Jane. Do you want a beautiful gown and that girl in the window is certainly lucky Irma she's just a dummy. What does she care as long as her husband loves her? Oh Jane I'd give anything in the world to be a bride Well, there stands Irma gazing pathetically at the bridal gown I can tell by the expression on her face that she's picturing herself on her wedding day She's just beaming with pride Must be standing at the altar with Al Now she's shaking her head up and down must be saying I do No, no, there's a fly on her nose Now she's extending her finger for the wedding band and she's holding it up and admiring it I don't know what kind of a wedding band. It can be but if Al gave it to her it must say corona corona Sweetie, I hate to interrupt your daydreams that we've got to be getting along All right, Jane, but first I'd like to put a deposit on that bridal gown Irma Peterson, how many times have I told you a bridal gown is the last thing a girl has to worry about the last Yes, the first thing is a man I could be a bride. I have Al. Yeah. Yeah, you have Al You know, I'm all brides go to their weddings with four things Something old and something new something borrowed and something blue to this you are adding a fifth thing What something unemployed? Oh So what well army you can't be happy with a man who can't give you the things to go with a home For instance a furniture a refrigerator vacuum cleaner dishes Yes, I guess Al could never make it on his unemployment check. That's right Well, come on honey, let's have lunch. No, I'm too sad to have lunch. I'm gonna be an old maid I'm gonna go home No Jane went off to do some shopping. I'm here alone not frightened. I've been alone before when there was no one with me Well, that's a good idea, I'll turn on the radio for company Yes, goodbye Richard Listen ladies. Have you ever wished you might be a bride? Oh, yes, I have you have Then this program is going to make it possible for some lucky girl to have everything She'll ever need for that honeymoon cottage furniture a refrigerator a vacuum cleaner a washing machine dishes, and oh, yes a complete set of dishes Nothing of some silverware and now listen carefully and I'll tell you how you can participate in our show Do you have a pencil ready? Can I use a fountain pen instead or a fountain pen? Now all you have to do is write a letter to this station How do you spell station K and X? Thank you and state in 25 words or less why you want to be a bride It's very simple just 25 words beginning. I want to be a bride because I want to be a bride because please Understand this is not a contest. We merely select the six most interesting letters and our studio audience will then choose the lucky couple Please mail your letters to lucky couple. So until next week This is Freddie flip saying wedding bells to you all and I do mean you all I Want to be a bride because come in It's only me professor Kropatkin Hello, herma darling Why are you limping? Oh my room is so dark. I keep falling over everything Why don't you turn on the lights? I can't stand the sight of that place Jane you oh, she's out. Oh professor. I'm so excited. Can you give me 25 words? Why a person should get married? No, but I got plenty of words about why you shouldn't What's it all about there? Well, I have to write a letter I want to be a bride because and if they select my letter I get a refrigerator a Furniture vacuum cleaner everything to make the house perfect and I'll will be your husband naturally This you call perfect Professor would you help me write the letter help you yes, you were once married. What made you get married? the weakness in my character oh You men say that but wasn't there something that made you feel wonderful in 25 words listen there my darling with my wife 25 words was just a breathing spell You know she once stopped talking for five seconds. We all thought she had lock Joe I refused to be accessory to this crime besides I have to get back to my room I'm having a fight with Mrs. O'Reilly. What about I told her there's mice in my room as big as dogs What's he doing about it? She wants to charge me extra for running a kennel club Goodbye, I'm a ride your lettering. Good luck. I want to be a bride because Because it's the only way for a girl to be married No Want to be a bride because that's all a girl has to look forward to and I've been looking so long my two eyes are tired. Oh Oh Shucks that's 26 words. I'll make it just one eye Let's see I Want to be a bride I Want to be a bride? I want to be a bride. I want to be one too, but I don't use up all this paper Irma, what have you done to my stationery? What are you doing? Oh Jane? Did you ever hear of a program called lucky couple? Yeah? Yeah, you mean the one in which you write in why you want to be a bride in 225 words and if you're the lucky couple they furnish your home for you. Yes, and oh Jane I'm not good at it. What would you write the letter for me? Well, honey, do you really think if Al got all those things? He'd marry you of course You know it would be very interesting to find out what Al would do if his back were against the wall Okay, sweetie. All right. I'll write your letter for you Oh Jane no girl ever had a better friend Huh, and I'll get out in the mood by making him a wonderful dinner tonight Well Irma, I know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but are you sure you know the road? I mean, well, you know you very seldom cook. Oh, I know, but I think this is a time to start and I've been memorizing a recipe I'm going to the store right now to buy what the white of an egg the ones we have here that they won't do They all have a yellow center And now Susie Swan sings to us listen my advice is When you are buying soap for dishes, please be choosy Swan gives a brand new kind of suds you see your dishes wash so easily Swan's gentle too. I swan do you says And you know ladies what Susie Swan is trying to tell you in that mighty pretty way is that now you can have faster dish washing and Protection for your hands at the same time with swan soap Sure because white floating swan is made with an exclusive super cream blend a blend that means a wonderful new kind of suds Float swan in your dish pan from now on you'll see how swan super cream blend actually protect your hands Leaves them soft and lovely as ever you'll see too how swan whips into suds so fast Villows of rich hard-working suds that get you out of the kitchen in a hurry a Wonderful new kind of suds that rents away so completely with one quick hot rinse that your dishes never need drying Yes with swan your dish washing job is over fast and your hands are left smooth and lovely because only swan soap Gives you this exclusive super cream blend Well the three of us have just finished the first dinner Irma ever cooked and I must say I am positively speechless Not only did Irma look adorable, but she made a dinner that was fit for a king and Al ate it like a king King Henry the eighth He kept throwing bones all over the place But I must hand it to Irma not only was her food delicious But it carried a message a message you could not escape The mashed potatoes were shaped like a heart pierced by an arrow of paprika The rice of course hinted at a wedding and then there was a half an avocado with a reddish in it This was the baby in its cradle Which incidentally Irma kept rocking all through the meal And then in front of a short-lighted candle Irma had placed a black olive cut in two with the pit removed This could only represent Al's slippers in front of the fireplace and then for dessert She served those cute little Chinese fortune cookies But she'd remove the original prophecies and replace them with little slips of paper Which read if you don't get married right away, you'll drop dead It's a subtle kid that Irma But if she can get out to agree to marry her this way or any other way, it's okay by me I'll be happy to write the letter if she can get out to say the word honey. Yes Jane You know, I simply must tell you that that was the most delicious dinner. I've ever eaten right now. Oh the best Oh, thank you Al. I'm glad to hear you say that because I realize how important cooking is in marriage You see up married people eat twice as much as single people because there's two of them Wait a minute Irma. Did you invite me to this dinner so I propose? Yes, Al. Well chicken, I don't think that's fair of you. I should at least have been given the right to choose my food What do you mean now? Well, any guy about to walk the last mile always has the right to pick his own menu How can you say that? Please for once don't live up to my expectations. Ah chicken. I'm just kidding you I knew all along what you were up to I got the hint at dinner when instead of serving the rice you threw it at me Chicken I marry you today only only only what well It's just a question of until until one of your deals comes through like pumping up spaghetti and selling it for garden hose Yeah, well that one happened to Peter out. That's why I can't commit myself See, I'm getting 20 bucks a week from the unemployment office, but how do I know it'll be steady? What were the common election? These are uncertain times, you know, I want to get married right away I'm so tired of waiting know how you feel chicken, but I resent you're saying that Tired of waiting. Let me ask you something. How long do you wait for a bus every day? Well about 10 minutes coming and 10 minutes going that's 20 minutes a day six days a week 52 weeks a year Over a period of the time you've been working that adds up to a lot of waiting and chicken I think I deserve the same consideration as a bus Look out you can stall Irma, but you can't stall me now There's a chance it may be slim But it's a chance for you and Irma to win all the things necessary to furnish a home Huh, well, I'm gonna write a letter for Irma in 25 words Why she wants to be a bride and send it to the lucky couple program can't be done. Why not? Well, what would you write about? I mean naturally you'd write that Irma wants to be a bride because she's met a nice guy a man of Stirling character a gentleman a deep thinker you personally. I don't think you can do me justice in 25 words If she does win would you go through with it, you know Jane if you worked half as hard on Richard as you do on me You'd have been married ten years ago Look now you're the one that Irma wants and I want to see her happy now. What do you say? Well putting it like that. There's only one man who can advise me who else who else but Hello Joe Got a problem Irma and I are going on a radio program Well, no Joe not it pays to be ignorant Now this is called the lucky couple program dedicated to making happy marriages Joe want to ask you a personal question What do you think of marriage? Uh-huh, uh-huh Uh-huh Hmm You love it. You think it's a wonderful institution. You think it's swell and it's the best thing oh Your wife is sitting on your lap and she sends her regards to Gotcha Joe. Goodbye man's no help. He's trapped himself Well, I'll what do you say? Okay, you write the letter and I'll go through with it Well, I finally got the letter out I believe I rewrote it 18 times because every time I tried to describe Al I was sure it wouldn't go through the males So I just kept playing around till I got 25 words it seemed to make a little sense and I signed Irma's name And I sent it off. Well, you can imagine what Irma's been going through since then Every morning Irma's been running downstairs to meet the mailman. She brings him little cookies And once I've leave I overheard her asking him if he had any socks that needed darning And she comes up and she waits by the phone Once the phone rang at the same time that the mailman knocked and it was as close as Irma ever came to doing a split Well, this has just been going on for days and I don't think I can take it much longer honey Yes, Jane. Why don't you just forget about that lucky couple program? I'm sure that if you'd won you would have been notified by now Vacuum cleaners Refrigerators washing machines. No wonder couples don't have many children today. They spend all their time in hardware stores Oh, maybe that's a milkman with a special come in Hiya chicken No news today from the program. No, well, I guess we're just not the kind of people who get things easy We can only get them by working for them chicken. Don't be vicious Hey, maybe the letter Jane wrote wasn't good enough now listen now I made such a gentleman out of you and that letter your own family would take you back What's the use let's not spill milk on each other and cry Take me to a movie. Okay chicken get your hat. Hello Who? Irma Peterson. Yeah, Irma. It's for you Thanks Hello, yes, this is Irma Peterson. Who is this? Lucky couple program. I did. Oh, thank you. Oh, well, they liked the letter Yes, oh sure will come to your studio and believe me. I'm so happy. I'll tell all my friends to eat the dog biscuits you advertise Goodbye Chicken we did it. Hey, you know, it'll feel kind of nice being married now Listen now, you haven't won yet You still have to appear on the program and compete with the five other couples, you know five other couples Yes, I'll ask us questions, but I'm not worried. You always know what to do in an emergency Like the time in the restroom when you didn't have any money. Oh, that was That was nothing Well, not everyone would have known how to get amnesia so fast Hello Jane. Hello Richard. What a pleasant surprise. Thank you. Hello, Irma. Now. Hi, you two look kind of excited Irma and Al are gonna be on that lucky couple radio program tonight. You know where the winners receive a house completely furnished Oh, yes, I've heard it many times. I bet if you and Jane went on you'd win Yes, I suppose. Oh, I know Jane wouldn't mind marrying you He told me so many times Irma Well Jane you did and even in your sleep Irma, don't you can't you don't you think you better go you and Al will be late Yeah, that's right chicken. We better hurry. Come on. We'll listen in. Gee, Jane I wish it was television and then I'd be able to see you and I wouldn't be nervous How's that again? Oh Never mind never mind the only thing I can say is good luck, honey, and we'll be sitting here pulling for you Thanks Jane. Come on chicken. Take my arm, baby. Who knows pretty soon. You may be Mrs. Al Yeah, I wonder how the other couples are making out. Don't worry about them chicken We'll be called into the studio next now. We got to make a good impression so we get the most applause. Well I'm awful nervous. I'll just control yourself and answer the questions. What do they usually ask? Well, they'll ask your age You say 22 22, and they'll want to know how many children we would like you say three or four Three or four and they asked you why you picked me to be your husband Now here you got to lay it on thick because they like it romantic. Well, what do I say? Oh gooey stuff Like I got the habits of Lincoln the charm of Casanova The smile of Mona Lisa and I'm built like an ox The charm of Casanova smile of Mona Lisa and built like an ox. You got it. Got it. All right, folks Come in the studio. You're out of yours next Ladies and gentlemen, you have just heard our fourth couple and here are the next contestants. Let's give them a great big hand Thank you Richard will you turn the radio up a little more? I want to be sure to hear everything. All right, Jane And now folks for our next lucky couple miss. I see your name Is Irma Peterson your age three or four I'm just a little nervous. Well now don't be nervous. Just relax after all there are only 15 million people listening to you Now tell us when you marry this gentleman at your side. How many children would you like to have 22? I'm getting everything backwards now. Just take your time miss because this is the important question I Think I'm ready for this one. Good. Now tell our audience why you selected this young man as the man of your dreams Well, he has a smile of an ox Happens of Casanova and he's built like Mona Lisa Lincoln, thank you. Thank you very much. Next contestants, please. Don't you want to ask me any more next contestants, please Oh poor Irma And she tried so hard Richard. Why didn't Al talk? You know, he knows that Irma gets excited. Oh I'll have an unhappy girl on my hands tonight Say I think I see them coming up the street now. How do you know it's Irma now? Well, the fellow is walking on the inside That's them Well, I better try and cheer her up some way put the radio on huh get some music and now ladies and gentlemen for our pot of cash feature if you're home when we call your phone number all You have to do is answer the phone and we give you $10,000 There goes the wheel the first name is Irma Peterson and we're ringing her now Irma Peterson Yes, they're ringing us Hello Jane answer the phone answer the phone arm. It's a radio show and they want to give you nothing doing They made a fool of me once tonight. They won't do it again. I'm going to bed. Good night Well, I'm sorry you weren't in miss Peterson. Sorry you weren't in And you know even when she is in there's nobody home When you're dealing with my friend Irma, you know this morning I found Irma placing a bar of swan soap outside of our window So I said honey, why are you leaving that bar of swan soap out there and Irma said? Well every morning a pigeon comes to the window and I want our swan to make friends Well Irma That's one where you might as well forget swan already has lots of friends Everyone's familiar with that bright green and white wrapper with the big white swan on it Sure, because that wrapper tells the ladies they're getting the white floating soap with the exclusive supercream blend swan soap And as you ladies listening know it's important to get swan Because supercream swan gives you a wonderful new kind of suds for dishes suds that protect your hands Leave them lovely to look at smooth to the touch suds that whip up faster in the dish pan for quick dish washing and then rinse away so completely with one hot rinse that You don't need to dry your dishes. Yes swan supercream blend saves you time and Saves your hands too. So from now on float swan in your dish pan You'll like swan's wonderful new kind of suds My friend Irma presented by swan another fine product of lever brothers company was produced and directed by Psy Howard tonight script was written by Psy Howard and Park Levy Folks next Monday evening tune in an hour earlier over most of these same stations for the luxe radio theater And then stay tuned to listen to swan with my friend Irma Starring Mary Wilson is Irma and Kathy Lois is Jane the part of professor Kropotkin was played by Hans Conreed Frank Bingman speaking You bet there's a reason why spry is the cake making wonder spry has an amazing cake improver secret Try the sure spry one bowl way and be certain of lighter finer richer cakes every time No other type of shortening has spry's cake improver secret for new cake making success rely on spry Pure all vegetable spry with cake improver Tune in again to my friend Irma next Monday evening immediately following the luxe radio theater You