 an open letter to all parents and parents to be. First of all, let us start by saying that being a parent is by no means an easy feat. So if you yourself are a parent, an expecting parent, or are still thinking of being a parent, know that it takes someone truly remarkable to provide for a family, look after a child, and keep a household running smoothly. As American comedian and actor Matt Walsh once said, Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion on, but the hardest thing to do. So while it's certainly not anyone's place to tell you what you should and shouldn't do when parenting your child, we hope you're doing it for the right reasons. All too often, people make the mistake of having children because they feel empty and want to be needed, or are terrified of growing old alone and want someone around to take care of them when the time comes. Maybe all their friends are married with kids now and they feel pressured to do the same, or they think that having a child will save their feeling marriage. But children are not safety blankets or retirement plans. They are not made to mend broken relationships or make you feel whole or save you from your own personal hell. Your children deserve to be loved for who they are and who they'll grow up to be, not for the role you want them to play in your life. You are the one who chose to bring them into this world and into your life. And for that, you owe them everything you can give with no expectations of anything in return. You can raise them to share your beliefs and your values, but beyond that, they deserve to be their own person with their own feelings and experiences and opinions. So let them have their own dreams, make their own mistakes, and walk their own path in life. It's all you can do as a parent to let them go someday and trust that your children will find their own way back to you. So don't take whatever precious time you still have left with them for granted. Be there for them in every way you can to love and support and guide them as best and as wholeheartedly as you are able. It's not going to be easy, but you need to give it your best try each and every day. Strive to be someone they can look up to and turn to for comfort and advice. Be there to celebrate every victory and soften the blow of every failure. Show up to every game and recital in award ceremony. Help them with their homework and eat dinner together every night. Patch up every scraped knee or broken heart. And in the hustle and bustle of all that is parenting, don't forget to take care of yourself and have a life outside of your children too. You owe it to them not to fall apart or feel adrift the moment they're gone. So have your own hobbies and interests. Spend time with your own friends and family and achieve your own personal goals and ambitions. Don't tie your entire sense of purpose and identity around being a parent. You can't put that burden on your children's shoulders, no matter how easy it might be to neglect yourself once you have someone else to take care of. It is hard to be a parent and have your own life outside of your kids. You might feel guilty or selfish for even trying, but always remember that you're not alone and that it's okay to take a break and ask other people for help from time to time. Do you feel burnt out and always in a bad mood? Do you have an important work deadline that needs your attention? That's okay. You're not going to be the bad guy just because you want to take a few days off for yourself. And as long as your kids can see that you're trying, they'll love you all the same. So be kind to yourself. To quote a claim to novelist and political activist, and Lamotte, there are places in the heart that you don't even know exist until you have a child. So if you're a parent or future parent, did you appreciate the message in this video? Being a parent will always have many ups and downs. The journey you're on isn't going to be an easy one, but it's going to be worth it. This video is a little different from our usual format, so what did you think? If you have any suggestions, let us know in the comments below. Did you find this video helpful? Tell us in the comments. Please like and share it with friends that might find value in this video too. Make sure to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell for more content. Thanks so much for watching and we'll see you next time.