 Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I am your host, Rob Dyle. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast. And if you love this podcast, please do me a favor, write this second, pull out your phone, go to however you listen into it right now and give us a rating and review. Reason why is because the more positive rating reasons we get, the more that those platforms actually show this and present this podcast to people who have never listened to it before, which enables us to grow, but also enables us to give more love and motivation and mindset techniques to try to help more people throughout the world. So if you would like to pay it forward, please go ahead and do that. Today, we're going to be talking about how to have a breakthrough for some of you, maybe even a lot of you. This could be a pretty tough episode. It'll be a tough episode as we go through it and I start to talk about how to have a breakthrough, but I promise you this, it will be worth it. And the idea for this podcast came from people always ask like, where do your podcast ideas come from? Life, like literally life. Everything that I do gives me ideas for podcasts. And I was watching a movie called Honey Boy, which is a Shia LaBeouf movie, and his dad, it's a crazy movie. It's incredible. It's really good. But there's something that his dad says in that movie that really like hit home with me and made me start thinking a lot. And then I started thinking a lot. And then I started journaling and then I was like, I got to turn this into a podcast episode because I really started thinking about this process. And the quote was, a seed has to completely destroy itself in order to become a flower. A seed has to completely destroy itself in order for it to become a flower. So when you look at who you want to be, the person that like, when you really close your eyes and you think about all of the potential that you can have, the life that you could have, the relationship you could have, the traveling that you could do, the business that you could have, the money you could have in your bank account, the relationship you can have with your kids, like the most full optimized version of you. When you look at who you want to be, you're probably going to have to completely destroy who you currently are. And that might scare the shit out of a lot of you. And if it does, fine, let it scare the shit out of you, but you're literally going to have to become a different person. Let's say you think of yourself right now as the seed and that vision of you that you have that you have in the future is the flower. In order for a seed to become a flower, it has to absolutely destroy itself. There is no bit of that seed that is left when the flower starts to grow. And when the flowers fully bloom, there is no bit of that seed that exists anymore. Your life will absolutely and cannot change unless you change your all your life will always be the same. If you are the same for some weird frickin reason, I don't get it. People tend to think that their life is just like somehow they're just going to get some big blessing. I could be I could just sit on the couch. I could eat potato chips. I could scroll on Instagram. I can watch Netflix. In one day, my life is going to be amazing. One day, someone's going to come down and bless me with the life I've always wanted. No, you have to create the life that you want. There is no one that's going. There's no knight in shining armor that's going to come and save you from the person that you are to be able to create the person that you want to be like to create the life that you want. You cannot change your life cannot change. None of these scenes can change unless you go, you know what? I got to be the person to do it. Sorry. There's going to be no knight in shining armor coming down on the white stallion that's going to help you create the life that you want. Your life and everything around you is based off of what you have done in the past and who you were in the past. We blame everybody else but ourself. Oh, it's their fault. Oh, it's I don't have enough time to create the life that I want. As if other people get more than 24 hours. I don't have enough time. Oh my God. Look at all the children that I have. I have to, I can't do that. I've got these children. I've got to feed. Oh, I'd be different if my parents weren't such assholes. I'd be different if they wouldn't have been so nice to me. I'd be different if my parents weren't so mean to me. I'd be different if, you know, I was older. I'd be different if I was younger. Oh, time has passed. I'm too old to be able to do this thing. And we look around and we try to blame everything externally outside of us instead of actually looking at ourselves, putting the mirror in front of ourselves and saying, you are the one who has to change. There is no one that is going to change your life, except for you. And sometimes there has to be a full on breakdown to have a breakthrough. You have to break down to the core of who you like, literally break apart all of the pieces that you thought you were and how you act. And oh, I'm this way because of this. And this is just part of my personality. This is how I am. Sometimes you have to have a full on breakdown. It doesn't have to be a mental breakdown, but I mean, like a big breakdown of who you are in order to have a breakthrough. When you're a breakdown, when you're at the point where you feel like it's rock bottom, that is the best chance for you to now change your life. And sometimes it's easier to make a change in your life when you are at rock bottom than when things are just going pretty well. You know, like when I think back to when I was at my rock bottom and I was living off of pasta for two months and I was five months behind on my car payment, that was easy to change from because that situation sucks so much. I was like, I got to get the hell out of here. That was very easy to change from. But I can also think about when I had the opportunity, I was making a couple hundred grand a year, then I had the opportunity to leave that to be able to start this business that I have now. It was a lot harder to make that change than it was to go from rock bottom to a little bit better and a little better and a little bit better. It's kind of wild. And so a lot of you listening, your life is pretty good. It's all right. You might get a couple of days of vacation each year. You might make pretty decent money. I have a pretty cool little house and pretty cool little card, a nice relationship. But you want so much more than you want to, not just more materialistic things, I mean so much more as far as experiences, as far as love, joy, happiness, peace, all of those things. You're going to have to start to break some things and destroy some things in order to create that. But there's one really big issue, and that's that thing that's in between your ears, it's your mind. The human mind resists change. Your subconscious will always resist change. You will always resist change in some sort of way, because it means that you have to destruct who you currently are in order to make something different and to change who you are. That is a threat to the human mind. No way. No, no, no. Do anything else except for change. Anything. Have a cigarette, watch some Netflix, smoke a bowl, have a shot of tequila during the glass of wine, scroll on your phone, talk to someone else, go for a walk, do anything but actually change what needs to change. Your brain will try to figure out all the different things to keep you busy so that you don't have to actually do the thing that really truly matters, which is change. To deconstruct, to reconstruct, because change is a threat to the human mind, so your mind will give you all of these reasons why you got to do something different. You won't die, but pieces of your old self have to die. Think about that for a second, like you won't physically die, but pieces of your old self have to die. I'm in the process of reading this book right now and he's talking about death and how so many people are afraid of death. And the reason why they're afraid of death is because death in life are on the same coin. Like if you flip a coin, you got heads and you got tails. You can't have heads without tails. You can't have tails without heads. You can't have death without life and you can't have life without death. And why so many people are afraid of death is because they actually aren't even truly living. Think about that for a second. Waking up and feeling anxious and feeling stressed and feeling like you're not where you want to be and judging yourself and talking down to yourself. All of those things, that's not living. That isn't living, it's not even close to living. So why are we afraid of death? Well, because we're actually afraid of life. We're afraid of, if we're afraid of truly being the person that we want to be in creating everything that we want, then we're also going to be afraid of death. It's the same coin. And then the other thing he goes on and says is, in order to fully live, you're going to have to die every day. Not physically die, but psychologically and spiritually die every single day. So if you're afraid to, the reason why you're afraid of death is because you're afraid of life and you're not fully living right now. So in order to live fully every single day, you must also die every day. There's a piece of you that has to die off. There's parts of you that have to die. Once again, it's not physical death. It's not me like die and then there's no more you. What I mean by it is there's psychological death that has to come. What I mean by that is that you won't die, but pieces of your old self have to die. That anxiety has to die. That judgment has to die. That self-pity has to die. That blaming other people has to die. You have to fucking kill parts of yourself in order to build the parts of yourself that you want. You can't say yes to one thing without saying no to something else. If you're going to say yes to being a more loving person, you're also going to have to say no to the person who is judgmental, who too is judgmental to other people, but also to yourself that also talks shit to yourself. You have to realize that. There's parts of us that need to die off all of the time. And we have to be okay with the purge. You're okay with the purge. You're okay with the purge. You know, if I think back like myself, I'm not the same person I was five years ago. I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. I'm not the same person I was 15 years ago. I have actually, when I think back to the point where I was at my lowest point in my life, the Rob that was back October 2010 in Fort Lauderdale, in the one bedroom apartment, no furniture in the house except for a bed, living off a pasta for two months, and literally sitting there and being five months behind on my car payment and begging them not to repossess my Audi, I'm not the same. I have literally and figuratively killed that person. That person is dead. There are no, there's no bit of that Rob that still exists. I have destroyed that person. But from the ashes, like a phoenix, I've rebuilt myself into the person I wanted to be. So if you're going to build yourself into the person that you, and mind you, let me say this, I'm not perfect. I'm still not the person that I can be. There's still more that needs to die off that I'm slowly finding every single day. And I don't expect to just finally be at that destination at some point in time in my life. I see this as like a birth and death process forever, probably until the day where I actually really, truly do die, right? So I don't see this as like, I see this whole thing as a journey, not just like a moment where it's going to finally be like, oh, look at me, I made it. That'd be awesome, right? I don't see it as a made it ever. But I had to find the parts of myself that I identify with, and completely get rid of some of them, and figure out what needed to change. And when I needed to change something, I built a new version of myself. You hopefully are not the same person that you were 10 years ago. Hopefully you're a better version of yourself. Now, not everybody's going to be a better version of yourself, but hopefully you are a better version of yourself. But when you look at who you used to be, if you're a better version of yourself, there were parts of yourself that you had to kill off. You had to take it behind the, you know, the end of the backyard and, you know, shoot it, had to be gone. You had to get rid of that self-pity and blaming other people and not stepping up and not following through and being a lazy POS. You had to get rid of all of those things. Life is about destroying the old version of yourself in order to make way for the new version of yourself. Knocking down an old building that's decaying, that's not up to code, where the electricity is coming out of the wall, there's rats everywhere. You got to knock that building, sometimes it's just that building's too far gone. You got to knock it down in order to make space to build a new building. But what's really hard is it's our identity. Like when we think that we have to kill out a part of ourself, our identity gets really afraid because if we don't have ourselves, we don't have our identity, who are we? Because we've built ourself into thinking that we are this person every single day. And so we think we're this person, so it's really scary to think that I can wake up tomorrow and be a completely different person. I can literally be a completely different person today. I don't know how many times I say this on the podcast, probably a couple of hundred. But one of my favorite quotes is Alan Watts that says you're under no obligation to be who you were five minutes ago. You can decide to be a different person right now. You can. And when you look at personal growth, you have to lose yourself in order to find yourself. So you have to find the parts of yourself that you don't want anymore, that you don't enjoy in order to find the parts of yourself that you do want and you do want to create. You can't strengthen a part of yourself without finding the part of yourself that's the complete opposite of that part of yourself that you want to strengthen. And kill it off and get rid of it. You have to let go of who you think you are in order to build yourself into who you truly want to become. And let me just say something I think people don't really think about as much is you might have to mourn the old version of yourself the same way that when somebody dies, you mourn them. There might be a grieving process of who you used to be because change is not easy, but it is necessary. When you are happiest, when you are at your happiness, happiest, it's usually because you feel like you're progressing in life. Tony Robbins always says this, progress equals happiness. When you feel like you're progressing that you're happiest. And so when you feel like you're progressing what that actually means is that there's parts of yourself that you're letting go of. You are stepping into new parts of yourself but you're also letting go of other parts of yourself. I've never seen someone who has real true progression in their life who was unhappy. Usually when someone is unhappy, they feel stagnant. When someone feels like they're not enough and they're not going the way they want to, that's usually where unhappiness comes from. But when someone's progressing and they're reading and they're improving and they're having more fun and they're having more happiness and better relationships and they're going to conferences to help themself with their personal development or with getting good at real estate investing, whatever it is and they're progressing very rarely do you find someone that's unhappy. So you have to realize there's a version of you in the future that is the flower. There is. It's there and it's waiting for you and it is your true absolute potential. But in order for you to become that flower, you're going to have to completely destroy parts of yourself. And I'll go back to the very first thing I said at the beginning of this podcast and assume a seed has to completely destroy itself in order for it to become a flower. You just have to make the decision of what needs to go, what needs to stay, what you need to create and what you need to strengthen. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R and I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have. Let me stop before you go any further. I always say it at the end of the episode and people always ask, like why do you say that? Because we have hundreds of thousands of people listen to this podcast. Imagine if every single one of you went out today and decided to do something for somebody else. How much better would the world be if you did that every single time you listened to this podcast? It would be massively better. So when I say it, I'm not just saying it for the hell of it. I'm not saying it for just shits and giggles. Go out and make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.