 So here's where we're at, chat. We are currently six and one. But here's the thing, what does this team need most, chat? Okay, not new coach. You guys say new coach every time. That's not what I'm talking about. Calling it quits, a leader wants to discuss his future. Hey, coach, I've been feeling a lot better recently. Still not where I'd like to be, but as long as we're winning, it shouldn't take long to get there. Okay, Lyle Collins is not gonna retire. Listen up, listen up, listen up, folks. The hell is wrong with the damn carpet in the locker room? There's one thing that matters to me, okay? Commitment to excellence, okay? Commitment to excellence, that's what I care about. What is this, who can tell me? Who can tell me? What is that? That right there is bullshit. That's what that is, that ain't excellence. Okay, you know what I do every damn morning? Every damn morning, for the last 30 years of my life, every morning I wake up and I piss excellence. Hey, coach, the cowboy sucks smile. You're on the damn team. What do you mean the cowboy suck? We gotta go out there and we have to, we have to establish a ground game against it as a defense. We have to control the damn ball. Coach, what does the word excellence mean? I can't do words good. Listen, excellence is everything that you need in life, okay? That's being better than your best. You know what's excellent, coach? Ice cream. CD, break them out, let's get the hell out of here. We gotta win a damn game. Who's that, wait, is that guy's last name, bro? What does that say, B-O? Bird. Bird. That's caught by the big tight hit, OJ. No way, dude, that is such bull crap. Dude, let the kids play the damn game. Why you won't let us do that? Oh my gosh, man. Dude, why are we playing so bad? Let's go Carl. Let's go Carl, look at this. And sometimes all your best ladies fight. Nice. Look, hey, Ben, don't break, chat. We're gonna Ben, don't break. Big sack. Big sack. Okay. Patterson goes and a 47-yard run. No way. What? I pressed the button like a whole second ago. And this is right down the middle. Sorry, hey, we're tied. If you're a coach or a player, you can either really look forward to them or really dread them, depending on who you are. Good sack, dude. Dude, Gordon Carl, freaking killing it, dude, after having broken ribs to start off the season. Oh. I, dude, I roughed the passer. No, I roughed the passer. And it's a first down, dude. Have some hand-to-hand coordination. We're 7-1, okay? We're the best football team in the NFL. That's right. That's right, we are. What? What? Dude, the ball literally hit you in the chest. Okay. Oh, my gosh. We just got so lucky. Good job, Dean. Good job, Dean. Good job, defense. Yes, fan. Frick, just run. Why did you spin? Right here, look at this. Boom, interception 100%. 100% chance on this drive, interception. Oh, what? What did I, hey, what did I say? What did I say? What did I say, Jeff? I told you. Look, listen, that's just the amazing coaching, okay? That's just the amazing coaching on display. We're gonna take the lead right here, ready? Oh, Odin, dude. Nice, dude. Let's go. Nice, money, dude. Lowell, the speed. What happened in the last two minutes of this game? I got upset here. What a half, what a half of football. Not right there. Really, what a last two minutes of football? Hell of a job. That is a team effort right there, okay? We're about to go into the half down about three points, which already, I'll be honest with y'all, I was happy with that. I was happy with that. But you know what y'all did? Y'all went out there, okay, and you said that ain't enough. You said, come on, Joe, that ain't enough. That's what you said. And when you had the opportunity, okay, some people might have said that was lucky. That was not, that was not. Coach, go pause the game, y'all worked. We lost five yards. What? Can't pause, let me even pause the game. What are you talking about? This ain't no game, son, this is real life, okay? So y'all need to go out there in the second half, and we gotta keep doing that, okay? We gotta keep being prepared to take advantage of the opportunities that come about. Coach, we are in the middle of a play. Why are you in the locker room? What? Wait, where is everybody? The game's started, game's started. Oh, Lord. Here we go. Come on, Joe, that ain't enough. Oh my gosh, touchdown, touchdown, 100%. Oh! Let's go for a ball team. Let's go, let's go Murray. Dude, I feel like Murray has not been that good lately. We don't need to kick a field goal here, so let's fake it. Oh my gosh! Why? How did he get through that? How did he get through that? I have no idea what just happened. Ben Malone, freaking bringing the wood, dude. Wait, did Gordon Carl get hurt again? Dislocated shoulder? Dude! He's so good when he's healthy, man. What? No! What the hell was that? No! What? Here's a pick. No, Daniel Cummings. Basemass. Thank you, Reptiv and Dunlop again. Lyle Collins injured again? Torn labrum. Dude, we just convinced him to not retire and he tore his labrum. Okay, you got to catch this one. Nice. Oh, dude, why am I... Why was I on fire earlier and now I just keep doing kicks? Ben Malone, user-hits-stick-fumple! Oh my gosh, dude, are you serious? Wait, I called it the end of the game. What the heck, dude? Thank y'all for joining me today. We had a hell of a football game today. We did. I was very, very happy with the performance that we had. I thought that Patterson did a damn good job. I think we got a little sloppy towards the end of the game. Okay, the end of the first half was pretty incredible. Pretty much everything went our way and we did everything that we could with that way that it went. Patterson, obviously, is a threat with the ball in his hands a little bit. He's got some speed to him, too. Mr. Underscore must-ash here with the T3 times. Yes. It's been four years since you took over the head coach spot. You've had two rebuilding seasons, yet your defense is still garbage. Any plans on how to fix that? I would call our defense opportunistic. Whenever the opportunity arises, they will fail. I think that as time goes, that as a very young team, both offensively and defensively, hell, I'll be honest with you, as far as talent goes, I think this is a Super Bowl caliber football team. And coaching as well. We're a Super Bowl caliber coaching staff as well. But what I'm talking about is the intangibles. Are we gonna get the effort? Or are we gonna get the consistency? You know, that's what I'm referring to. You know, obviously, we have the talent, we have the coaching, but... Mr. Underscore must-ash here with a follow-up. Oh, of course. What does it feel to be the only team in NFL history to have more punt fakes than actual puns? Well, you know, that's what we call keeping them on their toes. You know, most teams, what they do is they punt a lot, and then whenever they fake a punt, they're trying to catch them off guard. What we do is we fake a lot of puns, and then whenever we do punt, we catch them off guard. We catch them sleeping a little bit. So that's why our puns are incredibly effective. It's really, we're going for the long calm there, and I'd say it's worked out quite... You know, we gotta keep running the ball a little bit better. We gotta, we have the... Coach, Ed Verde, ESPN Dallas. Yes. Did you pay Mike Evans to not score on that play? He had opened field ahead of him and ran into your team instead. Any comment? Fear. You know, I think, I didn't do any of that now, but I think he had fear in his heart. I think he had fear in his heart and his mind. I don't know why, but, you know, Ben Belone's a hell of a football player, and hell, you know, maybe I do know why. I'd probably be scared too. Hey, Coach, Jeremy Sprinkle here from the ex Dallas Cowboys. I'm now homeless. Wait, why? How did you get in here? My family holds me in failure, and I live off scraps that Debo gives me from the locker room. How did you get in here? Thanks again for dropping me a couple years back and ruining my life. Security! Hey, hey! I'll see y'all next week. Security! Coach, any thoughts on how wide we've been this season? Hey, we are always wide.