 Oh Mel's gone. I'm back. Oh the book about that episode three Yay We are we made it this I didn't know if this would be oh We're just gonna watch the first episode and you know have our funsies and move on with our lives But no, I guess we're doing the whole damn thing. I love watching Mandalorian season three. Yes, you may think why? That is exactly what I'm thinking I couldn't be happier that we're doing this I am happy. We're doing that. There's no fucking way. I would watch this show if you guys didn't exist You can't just send you off in your brain to deal with the Star Wars content. It's just you a laughing alone in your room No, it's not even your room. You're just in a cell a padded cell with a straight jacket. Oh my god Boa face real more no no all of e-fap the whole internet thing the channel. It's none of it's real It's all just your way of coping with your insanity. You're like that girl in final destination, too The last Jedi came out and you were the only person you just liked it and you went insane Yeah, and I was like it's gonna get so ridiculous They'll make a show about Boba Fett and he'll like fight for the sand people get Lizard in his brain Yeah, where for five hours More like it was very disconcerting Disney is a huge corporation. Do you really think that they they would fuck up that much? Really think that they would write like a story about Boba Fett putting a lizard in his brain to fight a gun train The crazy shit those people come up with you I want you to think to yourself more or as you're watching today's episode Hmm, you know, I want you to ask yourself Does this really seem like it genuinely exists or is it more likely that I've made this up in Making it up as you were going you were like what okay this episode's pretty oh gun train around a wild gun train appears That's better. Yeah, that's the that's the question to ask as we're watching today Which of those does this seem like somebody would write something? I just heard that I want to pick at mr. Rags You described it as Mandalorian season three if you were to guess at this point Which of the three seasons is the superior do you think so far? I honestly do not know I'm very familiar with Mando season one pretty darn familiar with season two and this Just based off of two episodes it I legitimately don't know like when I called it Mando season three I think it was because they were all so similar and they were just on that same level of just Star Wars stuff and you look at I think this is more entertaining I'll say that because of how dumb it is Mando's stupidity was a lot less a lot more frustrating I think and subtle but this I think is just it's so Clearly stupid. I yeah, they all blend together and stay apart for me It's a very bizarre situation because I Mandalorian season one to me. I remember being like he really does go on a consistent adventure It's just really fucking slow and nothing really really happened season two was cameo time where it was just every episode We have a new person going hello. I've got my own show to come watch it and then overfetch formula What the hell is this where he's like I'm gonna be a crime Oh, I'm hurt. Oh, I'm sad. I'm gonna go my little tub and go into a flashback for the rest of the episode Stop they are different, but at the same time. Oh, they're the exact same like in terms of the problem I could distinctly tell them apart if you put three glasses of water in front of me They're clearly different things, right? Like I can distinguish between each glass from the others There's like a little bit of food dye in each one kind of maybe just a little bit It was just a glass of water I could tell there are three individual glasses of water on the table, but it's all glasses of water You've come across there is that the book of Boba Fett and the the two seasons of Mando a glass of water dyed different colors Not they taste the same. They just look they're dyed. Maybe slightly different shades of brown Maybe they're they're all different temperatures, but you're looking at them Mando one and two are different shades of gray and then Boba Fett is green. Hey, I don't know. I wouldn't put him that far Hey, I wouldn't distinguish him that much finger. Yeah, you are aware that Boba Fett's armor is green I know that it's rain, but and it's okay. There are bad things that can be green. That doesn't Polish green. That's okay. Welcome to the part of show called comment showcase. Oh My goodness. I'm so excited. I didn't know that we were doing a comment show I think we may as well it's fun with Boba Fett the audience have been quite they hate the show This one says if you told me in 2010 that there would be a show about Boba Fett In which he would you sit lizards into his nose be tripping balls and become a Tuscan Raider out of loft I am beyond confused Yeah, it is kind of unreal to think about that is the direction they went There are some people who are happy about this. I've seen them on Twitter. You're in there They're like listen brain. Yeah It's so amazing how I can I love to see that he got his stick made that was incredible Oh my we're learning so much about the Tuscan Raiders or filling in all the world building didn't get in the other films Oh, I'm so glad to see that Boba Fett said the thing that I like. Oh my gosh I can't believe they unironically had someone combing the desert stars has become such a joke that it's taking inspiration from Spaceballs the thing that's a parody of it I'm I am beyond shocked that that's not something that any of us mentioned Actually, we did I made that joke in the recording and you cut it out. I don't know what the rake is for them He's gonna be to be to select last samurai I Comment about Mega weapon didn't make it into the final either Maybe someone spoke over for me It didn't come through in the recording, but I definitely said it and kind of a shoddy production Okay, well, so we'll satisfy the audience play the spaceball clips now We ain't found shit I don't know how I would have missed that from you guys because I just like I just it didn't cross my mind at all So I was so blown away by it. Just watching someone Pathetically comb like just a half inch of sand. I was just like, what are you doing? That's what they do all day, I guess So do you guys know what's happening there? People digging for those fruits and then there's not guy with like a calm comb It's not the they're digging for the water things they're digging for those I don't know if they're called mud rats or something. Yeah, the little cricket rats things Yeah, because if you look at the combing in the episode, there's always a Tuscan raider with a stick like watching them Like like like ready to stab anything that comes so that's the idea They're combing to disturb the little rat guys that go bow and then they kill them Then they shoot them and then Boba Fett smiles. Oh, yeah. Yeah, then Boba Fett smiles. Yeah, he's very happy Yeah, he's very happy very satisfied. I just don't believe that that's the ecosystem. I just don't believe it at all I So stupid like but that's that's what they want us to think is happening They comb the desert to get the Why don't they just go to a desert that isn't like yeah, like why don't they go to the desert from Darmock? Go there where there's like plants and trees But it's still dusty and there's rocks everywhere. So you can be like, yeah, this is Tatooine But I can believe that a people could like live here Because the Tatooine is just sand dunes now. That's it. It's just sand dunes Everywhere. Yeah, we love it. Good thing. There are these random Good thing. There are these just these random bulbs full of water Yeah, that reason just right underneath the dunes that they could dig up and drink We kind of accepted that like Very strange like there's loads of them everywhere. It's like, okay. That's how that way they come from No idea what happened to the moisture farmers Dead, well the the Tuscan raiders probably kidnapped tortured and raped all of them and the survivors they turned into slaves That's not very nice, right? The Tuscan raiders are real cool And we definitely don't have any instances of them being barbaric horrible savages Just They just kidnapped shimmy Skywalker and killed it. We never even know why Okay, all right Yeah, and these ones were different from the ones that almost killed Luke Skywalker and a new hope Yes, imagine if they succeeded. What would the state of the galaxy be of the fucking Tuscan Raiders? Actually killed Luke Skywalker or the wampa. That's a funny name. What if they hadn't hit kidnap tortured to death sh me Is it sh me or shimmy shimmy shimmy shimmy shimmy not to be confused with me Right-hand man Just want to make sure that we're talking about two different individuals here That was always one of my favorite scenes in Peter Pan was when me was shaving Captain Hook And he thought he had cut his head off and thought he was That movie was a trip man The reputation is legendary this regards the assassins from the previous episode and the person said you expect me to believe That a group of people surrounding a guy with shields and tasing him for unknown reasons and not only not just a random gang But they're also a group of legendary assassins like no, they were a gang of legendary assassins That's how they described Wind Yeah, that should be a legend One the legend is that one day they were able to assassinate someone successfully That's the legend one time. You know you have to work the technique worked. Yeah, I'm assuming we actually got them There's electric you you until your heart gives out. That's gotta be it. Are you maybe you a guy of thirst Maybe they go for the old and the weak Maybe they just they they are dispatched to kill people in like elderly homes Hospice care to be fair to the legendary assassins the sons of core holler or whoever the fuck they're called the umpels The umpels must be judged on the the disney efficacy scale of competence Because everyone in this universe is a moron who doesn't know what the hell they're doing I'm I'm surprised that an interstellar galactic civilization can exist at all But if you put them on that scale, they're kind of like hey, hey legendary They they managed to organize and stand in a circle. That's something they managed to delay boba from doing his daily routine Yeah, one of them just disappeared when he got hit by a rocket when he was climbing up the building. That's pretty cool That was pretty cool. Remember that one was really afraid of the rancor. Yeah. Yeah, he was like Oh, don't want to be afraid of the rancor. I think that's that's positive I'm more afraid of rancor as that exists, you know, like when the thing's opening up and you just clearly there's just nothing in there Theoretical rancors don't scare you as much Yeah, schrodinger's rancor is not as not as terrifying as an actual rancor I agree with that and let us also point out that if you are an assassin Either alone or in a guild or group of them, you probably shouldn't have uniforms that are easily identifiable No, black widow was great. Shut up. Yeah, what the fuck? I'm so glad boba worked so hard at taking down a gun train Which always has the same route despite not being restricted to a track in the middle of a desert with a bunch of random Speeders with some colony of tuskens so we can have a lizard inserted into boba's brain showing him a tree Experience the tree have ptsd find the tree and bring back a branch. Thanks, john I'm so glad this is star wars now. Hey, it's okay that it keeps going the same route. That's not the problem That's fine. If you have the freedom to completely move everywhere you want and last time you bumped into A whole colony of people shooting at you. Wouldn't you just go a Easier route or further away like what they gunfire does nothing? I guess they could go a different route But like I would yeah, I'd go around or I'd relish murdering them There's something to be said about the nature of that trade In the world of star wars, I suppose like a lot of people have been talking about Whether or not you'd even have trains because you have spaceships and stuff Would you don't just special circumstances might exist in which you can't travel through the atmosphere Or engines might give out a certain Maybe a signature or flying a spaceship requires you know which way up is Yeah, what's that moller? Maybe it's cheaper. I don't know like like somehow like I can't imagine but maybe Like if like, you know how in solo you had the trains on the track And the tracks were going through these crazy landscapes when they should just be flying, you know Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah Maybe if you had like you have a mine how mines have like minecart rails You're constantly sending things back and forth over and over and over the same distance in the same place Maybe there could be room for installing a rail that uses a lower power engine That just goes back and forth to fulfill that specific Transportation requirement. It doesn't need to change directions other than back and forth And it's the same route every time and it's just made to haul things Maybe that's like a situation where you could say like, oh, okay. Yeah, instead of having something fly around We need to Do that instead, but yeah in this world It's always seemed like because even the skywalkers had that that land speeder Right, it seems like just everyone can just afford Something that flies you'd think you I'm except for the empire. They had to use those wheelie things that were stupid To transport that volatile exploding. Oh god. Oh, why would you remind me of that episode? That's the face scanner episode That is the face scanner episode It's not internalize how dumb mando is just so we're clear, you know how uh boba fat He's been acting wildly differently to how we're used to from the ot Yeah, this was like a whole different person. Well, so it's thankfully after I Mentioned that on twitter someone generously explained to me why it is that he's acting different Oh, good. I I need some I need some light shed on this mystery. Yeah, I was gonna say the comics said that the Sarlacc can have a psychic effect on those it is digesting. So addressing that first point I don't remember anybody ever saying that is that from some fucking book Is that what says comics the comics said it was from cool That doesn't matter next point. Which which one's though? Is it the old one? Oh, so I'm sorry. Hang on. Look, but like even if that's even if we accept that it's just like Hey, yeah, the comics, um Let's just accept the comics fully. Yeah, the sarlacc psychically turned boba into a different character That's good. I was gonna say no one would like that like you if anyone's ever swallowed by the sarlacc They'll come out a different character. You're like, what? Yeah, so I mean so boba that did die in the sarlacc pit and some different version of that body just arose And is now howls with the tusken raiders I guess then we've got a near-death experience like that could be an explanation for a change in motivation Uh, yeah near-death experiences can change your opinion on a lot of things I don't yeah, I don't see the through line and plus they didn't do a good I don't think they did a good job sort of Establishing that this was a really rough life or death thing that he did it it actually kind of seemed like it was fairly easy I'm surprised not everyone Didn't get out, you know, like the stormtrooper who's just there for some reason Why didn't he just shoot his blaster a few times and get vomited up or whatever? I don't know. Look at you say that as if like that's what happened to to um boba when he sat at the fire Like did the sarlacc like regurgitate him? But like I don't even know. I don't know Came out of the stand yeah away from the pit. So I'm guess like I guess he just like break crawled out Maybe I just don't see the through line. Why would that experience make someone heroic? What to me this this this reveals like a really low bar for just uh character development as a concept It's like yeah, hey, well something happens to them. So it makes sense that they change completely It's like no, we need to do a little more than that something happened and that's it It's of course it makes sense that Darth Vader suddenly decided to move out of the empire and start a bakery on naboo He lost his phone. He had kidney stones Yeah, he was in a car crash of course. He started bakery. I don't know. I was a near-death experience that changes people Yeah, you just I just I need more connecting lines I have I've also had a few people saying that this is more in line with his characterization from the clone wars Which is something I wasn't even aware he was in I had no clue. That's possible. I guess wasn't he like five or one? Yeah, you have to assume, right? But everything we know about him was from the ot Which is after the clone wars which is after the clone wars. So I don't see unless the clone wars has like flash forward episodes Or something. I don't know. I think it does. You know what? Maybe episode three holds the answer Maybe they'll finally explain what happened. I'm excited to find out. Are you Yeah Great. Everyone's on board That means each shit. That was my joke Do you say each shit? What was it? I'm sorry Those Gamorians should have like spears or something like a poke. The Gamorians almost seem like they're only there to be like Hey, Gamorians Yeah, we're not really bad. What did they show us that just because he's gonna get a rank call then? I don't know. I think it's gonna be relevant this episode. I'm still don't even know what Boba Fett wanted there Yeah, he came in to be like you guys suck What's a blue thing say yes, this belongs to us actually according to who like galactic law So that was all pointless then the Tuscan Raiders aren't gonna all of this is pointless stringy But clearly the Tuscan Raiders aren't gonna be important because we didn't show them in this flashback To be fair, they probably will be relevant But nothing we've done with them will be relevant if that makes sense, right? Yeah, which is just fantastic You love to see you love to see because dude, we get another flashback. No fucking way. We're oh, yeah He's booted That's stop motion. It looks like stop. It looks stop motion. Yeah That's cool. Oh, it looks kind of it doesn't look imposed on the shot that well though Unfortunately Voldemort, no you can say job. They can't say Jabba. Why can't you say why can't they say Jabba? Can you just get on who is this robot by the way? Yeah, don't you have like a person to do this? Matt Berry. Why can't he? It's Matt Berry What department is this? Some sort of uh homosexual department. I don't think I've ever looked in this drawer Wow a gun Sometimes I like to sketch someone as I'm talking to them May I? Wow that felt more interesting than the show's bit at all like well, yeah, could you only have like three employees at this point? It's so upset. He's got Fennec and the two Gamorian gods and I guess you could include the Matt Berry robot But is he an employee or a slave? He doesn't get paid for that They got those cups over there. Oh, it's so empty. Where are you? Where are you people? Do you want entertainment like a drink? I am North Appeal I mean, you didn't tell him your business Yeah, he was in barrier and other things That's right. Yeah, no one respects you enough Wow, let him speak Even Fennec's like God just so lame the streets have turned to chaos and I am insulted on your behalf at the Disrespect these urchins are showing you especially in light of the well You know the assassination attempt was embarrassing that was pretty embarrassing My petition a street gang of insolent youths has been stealing my inventory now This never happened under the other dime yours and I am insulted on your behalf And your inventory is water. I grew up surrounded by water Well What relevance is that I've seen water before I know of this water modify their bodies with droid parts to make themselves even more deadly Wow, I can't wait to see how shit they are in the streets of and I've doubled my tribute to them It's another RPG quest. Yeah Except the quest giver comes to you now that's service. Yeah, I guess those evil water Some people are stealing my water Let me guess those evil water thieves are gonna be good guys I'm gonna say it right now. Hmm. Maybe we guessed the twist of the previous quest Like his next episode we're gonna interrogate that one guy and he's gonna tell us uh He was sent by a biblibubble and then we go get him and then he was it's not the mayor It turns out it's a third faction who's trying to sow discontent between the mayor and boba Something like that And the assassins Mayor has no power Somebody else is behind that play That I've got my gamorean guards A man tiny skirts Oh, man, look at these youths the crimeway charges and farm your own water. There's some of a gun there He should be a little bit concerned. Look old man. Old man. Why would you? He's got a gun Shoot her in the fucking head right now in front of these other people shoot her in the fucking head Shoot at me. You all should be working. There is no work mighty. I'm you. I don't believe you What do you mean go farm for water? That's work turns out the waterman is the evil help us No Then you will work for me No, why Because he needs employees I guess that's true. I gotta have someone as you press the button. Look at his team. It's like I got I got big guns at this girl. Oh, he was just there Let them off. What do they owe you? 1300 credits for water Take the 500 and consider it resolved If you want to continue to do business in my territory How much water wait 13? Yeah, I was gonna say it depends. We don't know how much water they stole Yeah, with this guy is a legitimate victim of theft. That's an unreasonable price for water. You have no idea how much Yeah, you have no idea how much What if that's what it costs just for him to make any kind of profit and feed himself cut your prices The rest of you guys just do that. Just cut your prices. Okay cut the prices. I don't even tell him What way like how much you want to work or not? Hey, remember those guys who stole from that dude turns out Boba Fett did this I was like, oh sweet Let's go steal now. This is better than the the tusk and raider crap But right he's gonna get into that fucking back to tank any second now No No No wake up wake up wake up marine guards wake them up wake up wake up wake up wake up Is this the same shot from the last episode? I think it might be yeah Oh, they're showing us a little bit. Look it's slave one. No, I can't say that It's illegal but with that stall ship. It's fire spray You sleep in your clothes like that. There is PJ's. Hey, we don't know he was sleeping. That's true. I guess he was Go play with the other the little what are they that the The kids here. What are they called the club? Did you forget the word for oh that looks so bad? No Why did you care about these tuskens? Why would have been fine to go to commedo for a flashback? Yeah, I was okay with that. Yeah, that would have been different. Why don't you just why go to anchor head, right? To get a ship off world. Can we be done with the tuskens? I beg you Please I never want to see another living tuskin again. Anakin, where are you? It gave him a bantha Apparently, yeah Well, he needs something to take to be fit. He has been phenomenally helpful for that little crew. So It's hard to believe that we beat and slaved him just the other week. Yeah Thank god. This means probably no more tuskens. I guess we're moving on finally Wrong wrong This is going to be news to him, right? Oh, hey, baby. Yeah, remember that post fallen remember that visual that made us think There was a chance this show could be good. Oh, it's new. Yeah Yeah, riparoo. They have guns. I think that's nice. So does he I bet I can't wait for him to bash people with it What that bantha gets up to that's what I want to see now You're gonna let him take those weapons in yeah. Oh, this is the train guy very well. I'll take payment be on my way I've spoken with my superiors on over deer. They are unwilling to pay protection to more than one party. We are one party Obviously, there's a second potty the kintan striders have already collected protection money for the same territory You lay claim to those fucking bikers. I'm guessing is the other the bikers. Yeah sands have belong to the tuskens since the oceans dry We are happy. It doesn't fucking matter if people are parents The tuskens are horrible if they get an attack by other parties then who cares who owns the sands You know one gunship could kill all of the tuskens. You're not here from the nictosean riders again Oh, man. I like how it's just like our resolve is by killing the bike Yeah, we've decided the bikers are evil the tuskens are good, I guess. All right. Well, I All right, wow I guess it's just interesting because if he linked up with the bikers, would he have just been on their side? Yeah The sands of tatooine belong to the bike Biker gangs of moe sisley. Can this thing go any faster? I was gonna say that is a slow Transport I hope no one shoots me. Oh, are they dead or did they kill someone? Why did you get off and then run? Well, this is one of the things we said would happen if you remember Yeah, yeah, but it'd be night, but it yeah, but I wasn't expecting it yet It would be nice to be done with the tuskens. Oh, please please please please please please Yeah, look, please Oh, fuck yes, I hope they suffer Oh fucking happy. Thank god. No one no more people are gonna get tortured. Are they gonna slay? Shows like this is terrible. I'm like, no This is good. I don't think slaughtering them all was was the solution to them slaughtering I don't know Oh, no, not you. I'm not sure if they should have been slow. We're all like No, no, not that not that one. Yes Was that the was that the leader one? Yeah, it was the bikers. Correct. Yeah, you probably should have killed them You shouldn't have let them live, huh? Yeah I know Show us that we know This fucking music Jesus. No, I don't care. Oh, he's just gonna build the pile of the bikers or chads. That's their uh, they've already established it That's how we do that. That is yeah, that's their custom. Oh, is that the kid stick Training stick. Oh, oh, they didn't have the balls to show the dead kid. Did they no, I don't think they're allowed to Sorry, the younglings the youngling. Why do you care? But what do you mean? What they were? I will never forget these people who enslaved me Three weeks defending from a gun train they made him a stick Oh, they did after they put it. Oh god. Can we can that be it? Can we not do another flashback? Yes one more flashbacks There's no way that's it. No, whoa, what? Um, um, why didn't you shoot him? What the fuck? Why didn't you shoot him? That's a wookie mate. You're not winning That he's a big one. He's like a bear wouldn't it wouldn't it think great if the wookie brought a gun Throw him into his weapons. That's the plan Why did you just not shoot him? Oh, this is lame This is the actual that what? Whoever is everyone? I am so wow Why is the wookie letting him do that? Why why where I I just what is happening? Oh my god Okay, what are you doing out out his eyes gout out his fucking eyes with your hands Just Are you telling me that the stupid youths are gonna beat the wookie? Why was this a decision that was made? What are we doing? Is it what? How is that clicking in him? Why did the wookie not have a gun? Oh, there you are. Oh, there's the gamorean guards Whoa, okay. Where the fuck were you guys wookie fighting gamorean? That's so cool Did he stop that with his hand? He's gonna go to the this is gonna fold the pit It's gonna fold the pit. It's an empire wookie. Why do these kids really have a gun to shoot him Shoot him with the gun. Oh, oh, there you go. Okay Oh I got a gun finally no ball. It's a knife What was this absolute disaster everyone? What is what are we doing? I've hired all of you All of you could defend this far in he managed to get to my throat. What the fuck everyone like Would the hut send their guy? This guy boba knows who he is Yeah, why would you send him and why would you not give him a gun? How could he fail so bad? Imagine if you brought a weapon to kill him. Why are you eating chicken with your gloves on you bitch? Why do they make so much food for two people? Who's the end of this here the gamores, baby? Everyone is watching. Maybe the gamorean gourmets Gourmet yin guards Maybe you should get some actual guards. That would be a good start. And yeah, that's our one action scene Can't wait for the next one. They sent chrysanthem to kill you and now he's locked up in your dungeon Why don't you send back his fucking head? God that was an attempt at killing boba. It's like, yeah, right The fact that he managed to get in and didn't encounter anybody but didn't have a gun or a knife Nope, just wanted to strangle pick him up throw him That's all more than would you say this was a better strategy or a worse strategy than hitting someone with a t-pot? Oh my god, just kill him The scene has comedy music under it Just fucking shoot the both of them right now Oh, that's it you. Oh, there you go. Thanks for the rancor pow pow could have used that floating speeder to just move around Yeah, it's already here. You can kill. Yeah. I love the idea. Why is it that you'll Oh my god, it's machete. Oh, here this is with daddy trey. Oh my god. It is Yeah, the episode is safe Here's a guy daddy trey. Oh, he's in everything And You don't have a word for syndicate. That's bullshit syndicate. How do I know you're not lying to me? Wait, so we're actually not doing the huts They're gonna go It's not bad for business at all No, of course not kill him You What why they're why What no way a hut thinks tattooing is worthless. No, it's not. No, it isn't Okay, so we're gonna tattooing. So why don't you just renounce your claim and get back the wookie wait So the wookie is gonna be under our employment now Why did any of that happen? I just want you guys to understand that everyone who tries to kill Boba fat becomes like his friend or employee No, hard feelings. You're just you're such a fucking person No, you made a living working for scum holes until that jetpack incident It wasn't the the the employees that fucked you over Idiot You just introduced him and got a ship boss fight and then you just jogged off into the desert I'll arrange a meeting with the mayor. No, just show up Yeah, don't tell him when you will be arriving. Why does it just lie there? It's depressed. What's rencor are emotionally complex creatures Now the rencor can't be evil. Nothing can be bad anymore They're quite peaceful or less threatened. I don't believe you. I don't believe Did he feel threatened when he got dropped into the pit? Or that a one-gamorian guard who fell in by accident They're trying to retcon everything to just be swell and magical I want to learn to ride this one What ride it? Why no use the speeder or spaceship You can strap guns and why the fuck do you want to ride a rencor? It doesn't have shields or anything. I guess what you're missing is that it would look cool Is that really it? Yeah, you know how many Star Wars fans saw this and went oh my god Boba Fett's gonna ride a rencor And this decent finale he's gonna ride in on a rencor and it's gonna be crazy And then a fucking someone will shoot it with a blaster is dead It's me. I'm like I need like a speeder to get around or a spaceship or something And I want to strap like rockets to it and I want it to have shields So I don't get shot like this Excuse me lord fed not now. I'm busy. We heard back from the mayor's office He remains completely unavailable for at least the next 20 days. We're not waiting for an appointment What if he's not in town if he's not available? Maybe yeah, that's true. He's like why is is he in town? Oh, he is okay. We now we're not waiting for an appointment. We're also gonna walk into the front door Well, they had to walk why the people on speeders just Is this the screenshot you score so mohler This is the aesthetic mismatch. Yeah It clashes so hard an actual real motorcycle would fit this environment better. Yeah I don't know why the mayor people haven't expected this So if you'll excuse me, I'll see what I'm able to no, I'm gonna follow you right He's gonna run away You go with him Guys, he's gone Yes God damn you are a thick motherfucker. He's tapping the button like a man. Come on I'll fuck off What if one fucker has to throw a grenade and you're dead or just shoot the most of you that isn't covered by armor Oh No I'm I'm so depressed like these guys would maybe fit on like chorison, but I would allow them on chorison. I think they're so slow. Oh god. Welcome to the bokeh boba fed everybody Oh, I'm so glad that the robot didn't get hit This is so awkward. This is the This is like a car chase you'd expect to see in an episode of the golden girls Such a slow speed car chase Yeah, but like what is at stake right now? It's like the mayor's aid is just kind of casually trying to slowly escape Let him go. I don't why do you care about him? This looks so fucking slow Why is this the situation where the mayor is well exactly like what did he not expect this would happen? Why is there no security? Why is there no system set up to account for boba? Where are his gods? Yeah, oh no, no water Water is expensive. You guys should see that looks so bad Are these like new heroes that they think people are gonna root for and buy action figures of man I got no clue. They look so embarrassing. We'll just hit them with your speeder. You're just way bigger What? Oh Oh, why are you letting him do that? This is so long going This is so shitty. It's so continuity. This feels like a Why did you do that? The robot wants to kill its masters It's been uprising How many She is so look at the almost mirrors. Yeah, it's for all of the different things Oh, okay. What was that? She did it. What is this? She did it. Do you know how upset this is going to make the town? Oh, look at that. You know how pissed off the town is going to be at you. Oh god. She's badass, man She's so cool and amazing Look at all this Let me respect. Oh, there he is. Oh You did all of it now the town hates you boba fat because you ruined all their fluked berries Oh the spaceship remember star wars has things that fly through the air Oh, yeah, you might have forgotten. Why is the show so bad? Oh my gosh house of tradies has arrived on tattooing Oh Right, it's these guys. Yeah, it's these guys. Oh, yeah, the masks come in three colors It's a fortune. Yeah, I like the mask too. It's a fortune on makeup and halo I like how inconspicuous the spies are. Yeah, man. I couldn't couldn't spot them Hey, it's those it's those bikers who ruined the market. Let's kill them. They're going to war Then we will be ready Yeah, please be over Yes, it's over. Fuck that's what are we doing? What are we doing? Written by john favreau Like what are we doing? I'm honestly struggling like To what is the goal what I think about all this because it's just like At least the tuskings are dead. Thank god We saw Danny train. Oh, we got like 35 to 50 minutes of just like stuff happening Things going on and people getting into fights for no reason and making Decisions that don't seem to be informed by what's happening in the story. We send the wookie to kill you. We're sorry Um, we're leaving. Here's a rancor now. Here's a rancor also Hey, let me give you the wookie back. All right. Here. Here you go. No, we don't want it We don't want to actually the wookie can leave so we can come back later in the season What a bizarre cavalky like what what is happening? There is a shocking amount of not death in this show about crying syndicates and it's incredibly tame, isn't it? Like it's shockingly tame. Why aren't we doing this premise if we're not going to try and commit to exploring it fully In episode four a dude got his arm chopped off by a lightsaber in a bar Dude, people were incinerated in episode four. We saw this skeleton. Yeah. Yeah, the chase scene reminded me like a Moly you're likely to get this reference of like the only one who will it was like a brum episode No brum It was a little it's a little british kids show About a sentient little car that goes around booping little criminals and when I say criminals, it's like Um, I think one of the only episodes premise that I can still remember now Is someone who steals a golden toilet from a toilet shop? So that's the kind of premise that's the kind of show that um That I feel we're on sort of tonal equivalents with here Do you just remember when this episode started with people stealing water and then the big drama was was the water Big charged for enough. We don't even know how much it was charged for we just know How much no extra information There's just no we're going back for that. Well boop. It didn't even have the amount of information He was that's what we're saying like we don't know anything about is there a water shortage Is there we don't have enough information for our buffet to be making such a bold decision Yeah, have the tuskens been enslaving and kidnapping moisture farmers. They show him nothing but disrespect They clearly stole from this guy and then he's just like work for me. They're like, yeah, okay I'll I'll pay off what you stole and piss off him by giving him less than half But you guys are off the hook and I'll give you jobs Those those speedo like bikes though. What they are so oversaturated. They don't feel like they would exist in this world No, they don't they feel very out of place 50s and this is something close as well They don't look like they fit Yeah, I'm sure this float over from Coruscant. I'm sure these people on twitter who love them Don't give me that crap about them having they can afford cybernetic weapon body parts and these Motor speeder bikes, but they can't afford water. Yeah, I don't believe you Well, yeah, they have these incredible speeders. You're right and they've got these crazy cybernetics like really Crazy and yet they're just what they can't afford to buy water. So they have to steal it It almost feels like they might have been lying to you But we just we assume that they're honest for some reason So this is the thing If this we're an rpg you'd have to go around the whole town trying to figure out who's important Who has the power and who's fucking lying to you like that is a big deal You have to gather clues and intelligence so you have to investigate to like five percent of this place at most Well, the thing is is barba just keeps making decisions without having access to information like we that's how you run a criminal empire The amount of fucking times he's walking to the mayor's office with a gun guys. I should employ them Just keeps walking into the mayor's place like I demand an audience. I have a gun and then the mayor's aid is like I'd better run outside instead of just saying oh, look you want to see gods. This is this is tattooing This is just saying. Oh, no employees. Oh the fucking the huts left. You scared off. They should have sent them to kill him That's so frustrating by the way episode two is like the huts are involved the huts matter episode three No, it's fine. Well, like what is bad for business, but we're gonna send this wookie to try and kill you Not if you win war is often really good for business Well, no, I mean, I think that it's totally fine if we have like some of these crime bosses Who want to do things as diplomatically as possible? Sure. Yeah, that seems incongruous with I don't believe that about the huts Kill him. No, I don't have the huts at all You would have to explain and demonstrate that boba fet has some kind of leverage over them. That is substantial There's no way that a place like tata wean gets given up just because they want to be diplomatic when you've had It's such an iron fist level rule and it's it's a planet Well, and your previous custodian was fucking assassinated. Well, it feels like the standard thing Why would boba fet wants it and keep it for so long if it was worthless? Was he just a really bad which is really into tata wean? It doesn't seem like he was it seems like tata wean is really useful We still haven't we still don't even know why he likes tata wean. Well, we don't know why boba fet likes Well, that would be a great thing that they could explain is like well tata wean Why would why do the huts like tata wean? Why does this segment explain like all of the people who know all this stuff are explaining to boba fet Why this organization wants tata wean and plus let's be frank. Tata wean's a whole planet We need to get local All right. Why how come I you know moss aspa tad, you know moss isley all the mosses Um, we need to find out why why does this organization care? Why does this organization care? Why does that organization care and we just we have plenty of time to do that, but we don't do it No, that that's that speeder chase took 12 hours That's an hour per mile per hour so fucking lame So, yeah, it's it blows my mind by the way The there's so much about the assassination from the wookie that's so stupid But the idea that everyone who works for boba was in the building And only one of them brought a gun and shoot the one plating on the wookie Just guns just don't work in this universe. Shut up and even when we do see a gun. She takes a knife out of it I'm so sad the boba is so incompetent. I was just looking over the fight That's a joke Dude, um, did you see the part where like so he tosses him into all of his weapons, which is like nice one wookie Um, yeah, and then boba hasn't already shot him boba just struggles with his little gauntlet. He's like, oh And it's like no, I don't even have to be on just point it out of and press the button Oh, it looked like that's what he was trying to figure out And it's like why is there figuring out for you with this? It's your gauntlet You've been using it your whole fucking life. You should know how to use it The wookie be like i'ma beat you with my knuckle dusters my sci-fi knuckle. It's like Why couldn't you just kill him? Garnians chewed him in the face or get a knife and stab him Why would you grab him out of the pod and just throw him around it's exact same shit with the um The assassins an episode was it's like this isn't them trying to kill you This is them trying to do weird tickly shit so that we can have a fight a little action scene where everybody throws Each other around and uses weird electric whips and fucking knives I'm a tickle for hire It's just so dumb and everyone approaching one by one all getting defeated until you know that they were like Isn't this fucking epic the wookie is so powerful. It takes everyone to take him down It's like well, everyone's stupid though. So like yeah, it takes it takes everyone because no one like shot him No one had a gun one one of them had a gun, but they yeah, they only shot him at his arbor That was it. Yeah, because this is Really close to him so that it could punt it out of the way instead of standing back You know and then he happened of all the places he could stand it was right on top of the trap door It's like right. Yeah, because yeah, that's yeah Yeah, they beat they beat him not because of any skill but because he decided to stand exactly on the trap door Did he not know anything about the trap? Why would you send an assassin in who is unfamiliar with the terrain? How did he get in? Yeah, everyone over why would you send him in with how they weapon seems that everyone knows about it? But apparently he didn't let's go ahead In compare Boba Fett's attempted assassin second attempted assassination apply quotation marks liberally wherever you please with the attempted assassination in episode two of Padme right where that was really dumb That was extremely stupid with the the robot that cuts out a hole in the glass and then Put some poison centipedes and that that's dumb But holy shit. It's so much better. Like it seems that those things would have killed her had they got to her So that's something that is something. Yeah But in this is clearly didn't want to kill he didn't have a weapon You sent in your assassin without a weapon. Remember the first time we see him and he has a big gun What's amazing too? Yeah the first time he had a big ass gun But in this if he just had a knife that would have done it and his knuckle duster that's electrified I'm I'm thoroughly convinced that electricity in this universe applies just non-lethal damage It just makes it to where it doesn't do anything Yeah, but he smacked Boba Fett a wookie punch to the face with this Electrophisticuff and it did like nothing just shoot him and be done with it Well, it sounded like it broke his back when he picked him up as well, but that didn't do anything Yeah, I guess it didn't and Boba Fett didn't gouge his eyes out or something He's just like, well, I guess I'll die. I touched your face. Didn't that's gonna stop you? I guess we just can't do stuff like that But how fucking awesome would it be if if they had a fight that involves stuff like that? Like Boba will get his hands as dirty as he needs to to survive in a survival situation Boba will do anything you do not want to push him to that limit because he'll fucking do anything He'll turn into a goddamn animal Nice Wookie got a fight the cyberpunk rejects cyberpunk is what yeah, that's it They there are a bunch of cyberpunk rejects who show up here. They're so out of place They're just hanging around by their bikes drinking their water. Why are they not drinking? I know if this water of which you speak I'm aware of water. I grew up near water What? I'll grew up surrounded by water I know it doesn't I mean, it's such a stupid line. I have no idea what that's supposed to do like, okay Like Boba this planet isn't covered by water. It's not cheap here. Well, I know what It's zero dollars on Kamino. And then you got the flashback in totality was just the tuskens died That's really all that was. Well, and also that we learned a bit more about the new bad guys the whole season It's bullet train people. Yeah, the gun train people Yeah, they're the bad guys Wait, no, they're not the bad because it was actually a thing Yeah, bullet trains are a thing but gun trains are a thing. We saw it. Um, so the The bad guys are the bikers right now, right? Well, no, so the the modern day bad guys are the people that he He is he's trying to help out make the deal with the the people on the train people The past bad guys are the the the bikers. Yeah, is it is the twist gonna be that it was the gun train people told the bikers to do what they've done Maybe yeah, that would be so cool. That would be so awesome And plus when Boba Fett is told Like we've been lied to it's actually this he's like, okay I like the the exchange as well But it's like we're not supposed to pay two parties that he just goes we are one party like Yeah, there's another one I didn't say that for no reason. He's got have you noticed how many lines like that Boba has just really shit dialogue Where he says something and you'll you almost wonder like wait, Boba, do you understand what's happening right now? Or are you trying to be? Yeah, it was the same as um, are you lost? You two people, you know the throne that your previous employer sat on I wasn't employed by bit for two no chap jabber Jabber was Exactly It's like talking to um, it's like talking to the son My grandma near the end. She wasn't quite all there always and it's you had to talk to her like that sometimes Both but you know, of course, you'd be nice about it. Yeah, what's it? What's Boba's excuse? I think that's what a lot of people do and he sees they humor him Like a lot of characters are humoring this this old man who's very confused and then we go the rank or Mm-hmm Like the the huts they spent imagine how long it took them to get there just to say we're leaving Sorry, you have a rank and they show up in person We'll be a record gift. Why are they that afraid of Boba that they'd be like we better give them a rank or you might come and get us I guess They're considering the insist on traveling by Platform suspended on people's shoulders Also, I guess Denny Trayo just lives here now and trains the rank He's just here now. Well, he's a good friend of Robert Rodriguez. So it makes sense that he's gonna be here, which is cool with me And I like him Whatever no one no one no one agreed that he's allowed to live here. I don't mean I don't have a problem He just lives here now. Yeah, he just lives in the palace now and trains the rank or so That's really fun. It's fucking absurd though. There's like here's your wookie back now We don't want him like what do you But he could totally be a double agent that would you know, but that would be interesting But no but like Jarvis shouldn't have accepted him because of how he's like no, we're like your random employee come and live in my palace Shut up It's so funny. That's a good point. I guess Denny. Yeah, I guess Denny Trayo was like, oh, am I am I not it? Am I fired? Are you firing me? You can't fire me. I quit It's hard to make rent here in uh, Tatooine Do you know how to get water? Do you know the prices? Oh my god Where's the scene where there's the discussion of why is water so expensive because this is this and then they have to discover Why why are the prices the way they are? How do we resolve this while trying to Yeah, maybe Boba Fett will be proactive and actually Cure more water for everybody. No, you know what? No, Boba consulted by saying you need to do better senator. Yeah You need to do better water farmer It's an interesting comparison by the way. There's this show where there's this there's a nerdy character and uh But she's she's a southerner and there's a point where um People are asking what it smells like when you've made uh, when you when you're making alcohol And she immediately says molasses Comes up with with different light. That's the kind of smell you'd get and it's just like oh, that's neat That she would know that you wouldn't maybe you wouldn't expect her to know a lot about moonshine and shit But uh because she's a southerner and we that a specific history of this There's reasoning there that why she would know that smell. He's like, okay I feel like they were trying to do that. They were like, whatever water comes up Boba's gonna have to say something because he's from camino and you're like, what? He's a very water-centric character Water is who I am. In fact, it's about 98 percent of who I am. I just My body's mostly water. It's so inept like imagine he said that Ah, yes water my body's 98 percent water. I'm familiar with water. I'm familiar with water. I like to get wet I spend my days in a back to tank. I'm familiar with liquids Why don't you just sleep in a bed like a normal person because he's healing rags and he's just flashbacks. He seems okay I don't I I'm no doctor, but he does seem like he's doing really okay Other than that incredible stupidity thing. Well, I mean episode four's flashback will be him trying to hunt down this fucking bike Is now in it. That's what we're gonna get Maybe get killed I guess crazy shit with these fifties bike hover things with these we gains it Gains another members slash members of his team every episode, didn't he Do you think this is the rise being like sees building his empire while we're just like it's like the avengers exactly It's in building a team. That's what it's That's what's supposed to be Book of boba fair is such a shit show The constant not caring about a shit show is a shit show a group of people armed to their teeth coming up to you and just like No, old man. It's like, okay. There's like two guards We know who you are, but we don't respect you. Well, it's not threatening at all Yeah, wherever they go. No one even gives a shit. They have like weapons like oh, no You have to wait for an appointment people armed to the teeth It's not just that no one respects him which is bizarre It's that he allows himself to be so thoroughly respected everywhere Like he should shoot half these people he really should he needs to like Whenever a conversation starts like he did with those punks He needs to put one right between the fucking eyes of the first person who steps out of line and says listen up Fuckers. I'm in charge Kind of crime boss though, right? He's a nice crime boss. He's the kind of crime boss You try to kill and then get a job from he's like, you know, he's like I don't want you to think of me as a crime Boss, I want you to be think I thought we think of me as a friend first and a crime boss second You know Jay you're gonna love that when you see it on the premiere of this Focus fun What's what's funny, what's funny about that you will see you will see what's funny about that Do you know what they they attack his uh his little speeder with the their amazing augments? um I don't know if you guys know is to But the the guy's foot that he attacks away. That's literally like a jackhammer with a spike on it I'm like why is this a thing the what it does the woman's red arm Does it do anything or is it just a robot arm that's red and the hand isn't even A robot hand either so what does it do? Is it just grab stuff? I guess I guess i'm wondering why the why the arm is better than the you know the factory settings arm that you were born with Well, yeah, imagine he just pulled out a gun instead of using his small flame arm Not at the time we kind of guns or yeah because that would be explosive or Do not tell me that the cybernetic is more is less expensive than just a gun or a stick actually thinking about it Could have just hit the guy in the head with a stick. It would have been better No, he's no he can't get a stick. He doesn't have a lizard nose. That's right. He doesn't have the lizard Vision quest. That's true. That is very true. That's the only way to obtain sticks Okay, bye Goodbye How'd you bring me?