 from our studios in Hawaii from Think Tech Hawaii Studios downtown Honolulu and from my home office in Makiki. I'd love to introduce to you a dear friend. His name is Sammy Paella or also known as Teo Sam. Teo has an amazing story and he has a true warrior spirit. I'd like you all to meet my dear friend Teo Sam. Welcome and Aloha Teo. Aloha to you Miss Wendy. Yay you got the Hawaiian spirit going there. That's right. Well welcome back to the show. I know you've been on once before and since we last had you on the show you've written a book so you've been a little bit busy. The book's name is Redemption of a Counter-Spy. So Teo please tell us what this book is all about and why did you write it? Sure. So well thank you for having me on the show first of all. I'm excited to be here with you all. So I wrote the book. I'm a counterintelligence sake and fight trade. Counter spy is another way to say it. And I wrote the book because I had really struggled with some PTSD after some deployments and things but really when I started writing the book I realized that I think perhaps the PTSD had started much earlier in my younger years and so I started thinking about my childhood and I grew up around violence. I grew up in a small neighborhood in Lubbock, Texas. It was very violent. It was a predominantly Mexican American barrio and I was exposed to just a lot of violence related to drugs and alcohol and just poverty and so I grew up with violence. I joined the military. The military's job is to employ violence as a means to an end right and so I learned to be a soldier and employ violence and then as I went out into the world to do my counter spy mission I was met with just more violence even in combat everywhere and eventually I guess it took a toll on me and I went through some dark years and so this book is my journey from that barrio in Lubbock, Texas all the way up to now in how I was able to just get through a lot of the challenges that come along with that like depression and suicide and PTSD. So this is my story and I hope that it just helps even one person. You know you don't have to have suffered from any of these things to get something out of this book. The latest reviews people are just telling me this book is for everybody and I'm just really humbled by those reviews. Wow and you know that you diagnosed yourself with even experiencing PTSD even before signing up for the military. I mean that's big in itself that you established that situation even prior and so that's why yes this book shall be for everyone because many of us have experienced traumatic neighborhoods and growing up experiences and so yes PTSD doesn't just start when you go to the battlefield a lot of us have the battlefields here right at home but before we go further I must mahalo you feel because I believe you serve 32 plus years chasing terrorists and spies and not only internationally but also in the United States so I want to say mahalo for your commitment and for all the years of service to our country so thank you so much. Well thank you for your support Wendy. Yes thank you so Dio you mentioned suicide can you tell us a little bit more about that without giving away the entire book? Sure yeah absolutely so I guess the suicide is the pivotal moment in the book it's almost halfway in the book and it's that pivotal moment because I was in such a dark place I've lost my faith in God I didn't believe in God anymore and I was just in a really dark spot depression at Brittany like like like a bear hug you know and I was just you know how they say that if you ignore any problem it only becomes progressively worse well I ignored the PTSD diagnosis and it only became worse and as part of who I was having nightmares I was having a lot of things going on in my life and one day you know I got a hotel room I got a gun and I wrote a letter and I you know I sat on the bed and I put the gun in my mouth and well I still I've said this story so many times I always get choked up around this point because I almost took my own life I started to squeeze that trigger and my kids popped into my mind and I just thought about how they would be dysfunctional and how you know they would have a hard time dealing with it I have four boys and so uh you know I just threw the gun down and I just curled up in the fetal position and I just began to cry and cry and uh it was it was most definitely the worst uh the lowest point in my life it remains the lowest point to this day wow I don't think you can get lower than that but um God brought you to that point and He brought you out of that point and so wow so how did you overcome all these challenges with PTSD depression and suicide? So that young lady Rachel Blonde in the pink shirt she uh she invited me to church just two days two days after I had a gun in my mouth she invited me to church and uh my wife had she knew my wife they had partnered with the juiced bus company and so thank God my wife said yes to plus because that's how we met Rachel and that's how you know she eventually invited me to church and I went there to mock people I'll be honest with you I went there to kind of laugh and entertain myself but boy did God have other plans because he got me crying right there in public you know and I was angry because I was crying in public because the pastor was talking about everything that I was dealing with you know this moral guilt this the not being worthy of heaven that kind of thing and it just it just did something to me and I went home that day I fell on my knees in the walk-in closet and I said okay God I don't know how to do this but if you're up there please help me I need help I need a lot of help and um you know he he did he showed up and showed off because one of the first things he brought into my life uh was there there's three things that I believe helped me to overcome the challenges and the first thing is whole food nutrition um you know meeting Rachel and my wife being in the juiced bus company um I was being educated on the importance of of uh whole food nutrition you know of eating right and exercise and all of that stuff and so one thing that I did not know is how much what you eat impacts your mental health you know it's really amazing um a dear friend of mine uh you may know her Jennifer Myers she provided me a book and it was called the uh the transformation uh discovering wholeness and healing after trauma and it's written by a doctor named James Gordon and you know I never physically saw a doctor from a PTSD after I was diagnosed but uh I certainly listened to this doctor's advice in this book and so what he was talking about was you know when we're stressed see what happens is when we become stressed signals from the brain they particularly uh the pituitary gland they they tell the the cortex right the secret cortisol and other other stress hormones as well but cortisol helps us retain water it raises our blood pressure it um it also mobilizes sugar from ourselves and activating and nourishing and stimulating our our mental functioning see I didn't know that and the problem is Wendy that high levels of cortisol destroy cells in the hippocampus this is so important because that's the part of the brain that controls your memory and regulates stress see you see how that kind of fits together that ability to lessen our immune response and check this out over time people who are traumatized are unable to appropriately respond to stress because their adrenal gland it seems quote unquote exhausted right and oh by the way you know the traumatic event that that caused your your neurotransmitter dopamine has right the feel good drug to initially spike well it now tanks it declines along with the levels of serotonin and see while dopamine provides that feel good energy serotonin just does the exact opposite it calms you down right so if you're serotonin thanks too far we slip into depression and this is one of the reasons I struggling with PTSD I felt chronically tired all the time and it's one of the reasons that the the the changes caused in the brain by PTSD they can last just a very long time and this is what I find so fascinating according to Dr. Gordon in this book they can last for the like the duration of a war or an abusive relationship right and get this these responses right they can persist even when the actual trauma is long over right it repeats itself even when the trauma is long old and so in his book Dr. Gordon he just rattled me with that I mean it was just fascinating to me and you know he said our our brain may replay those traumatic memories over and over again that's why people get stuck in that loop they continue especially guys dealing with PTSD it affects us just as profoundly as the original trauma in that in that amazing that's just that's how the body works and so I learned that I had to eat right I had I needed whole food nutrition inner juice plus that's what juice plus did for me right it gave me the nutrition from over 30 different types of fruits and vegetables and berries and I also started drinking kombucha because I found also that you have to keep your microbiome healthy it directly affects mental health as well so I'm learning all this stuff and I'm like yeah I'm in this I have to do this because you know I wanted to I wanted to get better wow and you know it's so profound and of course it's not as simple as all of that but yes you did the number one thing you researched and you went for the truth and we all know that the truth shall set us free and so when you learn the power of fruits and vegetables and thank you to Trisha and thank you to you Teo for saying yes to Trisha and first going to church and then your wife also saying yes to a new lifestyle and as I remember how was your health before you said yes to this new lifestyle and it was bad it was bad I was how bad it was I was 40 pounds heavier than I am now 40 40 pounds heavier okay I was dealing with high blood pressure uh high cholesterol diabetes low potassium right all these different elements and I I mean I just thought that was well that's normal diabetes runs in my family as I'm gonna have it too and I had no idea you know about three months after starting on the juice plus product and implementing other healthy things you want simple changes at a time like exercise just started by walking around the block and then it graduated to go into the gym and stuff so all these little healthy changes changing my my diet taking juice plus I came off of eight prescription medications after about a total of about eight months I came off of all prescription medications for for all of those things I'm no longer on prescription meds for anything that is remarkable and you know as you said you are what you eat and you know the power of fruits and vegetables God provided all this great food for us to steward our bodies with and unfortunately we fail to consume and do it the simple way and in my heart of all hearts I know that like an apple that to me is God's best fast food you know containing over 10,000 nutrients and vitamins per apple you know it's got it you don't even you basically have to wash it you don't cut it you don't cook it you just eat it that's the fastest fast food I know of and why why I just don't understand why people don't think an apple is a meal you know if like I'll never go hungry because I always have to eat but if I don't have time I'm going to pick up an apple or an orange I'm going to peel it I'm going to eat it and you know what after consuming that my body is saying thank you Mahalo Wendy you just made the best choice ever and um and my body rejoices and I wish that others would understand the value of just the simple apple and that same an apple a day will keep the doctor away heck if you ate 10,000 nutrients and vitamins every day into your body tell me you wouldn't be at your peak and the healthiest that you could be right you you're making me want to go get an apple right I already had mine and beat you it's just ironic that the one fruit that contributed to the fall of man in that garden now it provides us with over 10,000 final nutrients right in that place but god knew that's the symbol of the apple it's there if you want it and it'll cause great things for you when you are ready for it okay so food was number one in the triad of transformation you mentioned you mentioned that so what is the second thing the second thing was community let me tell you juice plus people are just some of the best people I have ever met they have become my tribe right but community is so important for people that are trying to recover from trauma from depression suicidal ideation PTSD right you need a tribe since the beginning god's plan paused for us to be in community with one another right we're we're relational creatures that's the way he made us and you know my tribe they get it they just absolutely get it they encourage they share and they're just positive and loving and I at first when I first met them I thought they were all fake I thought there's no way people can be this positive and encouraging all the time but lo and behold they there are they celebrate each other's accomplishments and achievements along with setbacks and in dark moments in our lives right we we also were there for each other for those times too and and they show up consistently in my life both for the magnificent and the Monday they know god and absolutely want to be the best versions of themselves that they can be to better serve him and to better serve each other right and that's what I love about about community everybody needs a tribe you know in this in this COVID-19 restricted environment and the variants that have come up you know it's caused many people to to isolate themselves and that's not good that's not how god created this and perhaps you know somebody out there watching watching right now perhaps you're dealing with this let me tell you something living in solitude is exactly what the enemy wants don't give him what he wants he knows how to employ tried and true you know military tactics against us like cutting off communication right that's one of the things we do in a war is you want to cut off the enemy's communications well that's what he wants to do to us to isolate us and then start whispering in our ear right and then that's when so many other mental health issues start to come up so community is is so important I can't stress that enough if you don't have a tribe of like-minded people that are loving on you encouraging you especially those of you who are dealing with depression and mental health issues you absolutely need to try do not isolate yes and you hit it right on the nail especially with the last two years we experience is exactly what the devil wanted is to us to be divided you know and to get us isolated and to be able to be conquered but we know and we know better so we shall not let that happen and for anyone out there kill myself you can just find us and we'll be your friend and we'll help you through these times and that's an open invitation and I mean it from our heart and am I correct feel that if someone needs us and that's why we're doing this right now is to reach out to anybody who were who was affected within the last two years and even before that we are here and we're not going to let you be alone because we are not meant to do life alone as our president of our company jay martin says find yourself a buddy that's right and we don't need a buddy either a buddy or like um deal with saying a community of loving positive encouraging people that can help build your tribe and be your tribe and that's what we need because we can't do it alone we're not meant to go at it alone we are not we're not equipped that way and so we've come out of this darkness for the last few years but a lot of us are light and are seeking others are seeking more light so please as I said open invitation come to the light we are here so community is so so important buddy a buddy is so important so teo what is the third important thing of the transformation so the third part of the triad there that I like to call the triad of transformation is that spirituality you know spirituality for me is what turned it all around for for permanent good okay it gave me it gave me a sense of peace and balanced the it just balanced the various aspects of my life whether they be physical mental or spiritual and um you know there's there's a lot of various communities out there spiritual communities that encourage one to join up with with like-minded people and spiritual worship such as church attendance right so going to church is important because again we're not meant to do life alone we just talked about that and attending church regularly allows us to be encouraged by our congregation there are there are family to become our family right in the relationships we formed there you know we're to be enlightened by the word as explained by a pastor right we're to serve others through the different venues that a church might provide that's these things are all important they give us a sense of belonging right and they can also become the tribe that that they can also become the tribe that you need to overcome challenges with depression and suicidal ideation and PTSD I once I once read an article that talked about how how strong relationships have proven to increase general well-being and even get this bolster life expectancy right this article also talked about a study found that found a strong association between church attendance and improved health mood and well-being so you know spiritual people just have a way of finding ways to to meet the challenge and continue with purposeful lives right that's a that's actually a quote from dr steven southwick's book resilience the science of mastering life's greatest challenges yeah so uh that's another good book that you could pick up but hey don't get me wrong you know after I was saved it wasn't like like I lived happily ever after right like in the movies but I'll tell you what I have lived peacefully ever since is that there's no doubt about that there's struggles in my life yes but spirituality helps me find meaning in my day-to-day struggles in my painful experiences right it also helps me realize and understand that disappointment it's just part of our human experience here on this fallen earth and I'm not alone in my struggles you're not alone until you know I can see and feel the joy in your heart and I could just imagine or not even want to think about it actually what your wife must have gone through when you were going through that PTSD I mean a lot of whys or even husbands are going through that right now and experiencing that is there's something that you would like to say to that so for the spouse of the of a patient of PTSD yeah yeah so uh don't give up you know your your spouse is not broken a lot of times that's the terms that are used you know what you speak to yourself or to others so important words are so powerful and that you're they're not broken right they they they're dealing with something that was that they experienced that was extraordinary right it was an extraordinary event that occurred to just an ordinary person and we don't normally deal with those types of things right but whatever it was that caused them to have PTSD or go into depression have suicidal ideation you know whatever it was uh it can be reversed you can reverse it you can reverse it with these with these three things that i'm talking about right here so i would encourage anybody out there dealing with this listen just try it i'm not i'm not an expert on anything i'm not i'm not a doctor i'm not a psychologist i'm just the guy that dealt with it and figured it out okay and if it can work for me it can work for you too right but the you know the good thing for you you know is that you're probably i mean i know you turn your back on god so i don't think you turn to prayer but god had his eye on you and he knew he wanted to save you and he brought you all the right angels into your life and the good thing is that you were aware of the angels in your life and you responded in a positive way so sometimes people don't see that you know that there's someone's out there trying to help them we pray and we pray and we say where were you and he says remember that lady trisha that i sent to you she was supposed to lead you to the fact to church and then you know and then give you all the right knowledge about stewarding your body well but you you turned her away i was there so not just you know praying or not in your case i don't think that you were really praying for it but he just believed in you and he brought these angels to you so the joy and the gift is that you acknowledged it you received it and you were able to find joy and happiness and look at you thank you lord for saving teo so that he can be a voice to the voiceless um right now i have a question from one of the viewer viewers and it says what inspired you to write this book redemption of a counter spy oh that's a great question thank you for asking that so i had actually been encouraged by multiple people to tell my story and by speaking it and writing it so i thought okay maybe i'll write a book and i had written maybe a chapter and a half almost two but then on 20 january of this year a friend of mine who had just retired from the military as a general a two-star general killed himself on 20 january of this year and i just felt god calling me saying what are you waiting for write this book it could help somebody and so i wrote the book in about three weeks after that inspired by the death of my friend but hopefully um somebody reads but even if just one person picks up my book and says okay i think i you know i'm not gonna pull the trigger today i think i can do this that it would have been worth it you know uh that's what i that's the goal is to just help other people you know um find find find their way through this life you know right and you know um even though you lost your friend you know when the family of this uh two-star general reads the book it may be able to put some light into what he was experiencing and maybe help them through the time of mourning as well so you know um i'm glad again that you um realize what your goal and your mission is and you took that a challenge upon yourself to do the book and that you would be able to save others and other families and let them have the joy that you enjoy right now so god bless you for doing that and for for just knowing just knowing if we're for hearing god speak into your heart so thank you thank you um so teal what's what's next for you what's next for me well in the immediate future people have asked me to come and speak and including my church with some just super ecstatic so on the third of july here this coming sunday i'm doing all three services at my church revolution church here in selma and uh i'll be speaking telling my story and and talking about jesus and and juce plus you know at the church uh if anybody wants to catch that you can catch it live online at revyourlife.com uh you can go there and watch it so that's sunday three services in the morning 9 30 11 and then 12 30 and then i'm gonna just continue uh that that sort of pattern through the end of the calendar year i'm speaking in vegas at a convention called up armor with project healing heroes uh i'm speaking at i'm hoping hopefully be speaking at black rifle coffee company uh and i'm going to continue doing my my work now i haven't just because i'm an author now you know it didn't go to my head i'm still going down to cantonio and taking donations to the homeless i'm still working to bring an after-school tutoring and mentoring program for at-risk kids here in san antonio i'm still uh leading my nonprofit that i co-founded uh to help christian missionaries around the world i'm still advocating for juice plus i'm still director of safety at my church you know i don't tell you all that to brag i tell you all that to say look this is where people who have struggled with these types of mental health issues this is where you can thrive you can get to this point wow wow okay and real quick i know you were commissioned as a colson fellow in may of 2021 what is the colson fellow the colson fellow the the programs named after colson who used to be an attorney under the nixon administration yes he actually went to he went to prison after the watergate scandal and he found jesus and he started the biggest prison ministry he is amazing yeah and so the colson fellows is a program you know modeled after him where they teach biblical worldview so that you can you can look at the culture in a biblical lens and you can teach others to also have a good biblical foundation and not let the culture in the subtle subtleness of the culture change you uh or or lead you astray from jesus thank you so much thank you so your next stop shall be hawaii because we need you here we have many um that would love to hear your story live and i would wait and i can't wait until the day that you get here but for now to we run out of time i just want to say mahalo to teal sam for sharing your dynamic journey and inspiring us to take our health back with your triad of transformation we'll be back in two weeks with taking your health back with bindi lo so mahalo teal and we'll see you again soon with your next one all right come to hawaii thank you thank you love you thank you for thank you so much for watching think tech hawaii if you like what we do please like us and click the subscribe button on youtube and the follow button on vimeo you can also follow us on facebook instagram twitter and linked in and donate to us at think.kawaii.com mahalo