 I'm so excited. Welcome, welcome to a workshop. I'm super excited. My name is Mary Yu, saw me this morning. It's so nice to have a small group with you all. Small, oh, compared to this morning, I felt like I was like, I just put a love on everybody. So welcome, this is the workshop on intimacy with the Father. And so for here, we're gonna be talking about prayer. And I want this to be a little bit interactive. I don't wanna just, you know, you can listen to me talk if that's fun. But how I wanna just unfold this workshop, you will pray to kick us off. We'll do some prayer. I wanna hear from you, because what I find oftentimes is speakers have a sense of what people wanna hear. But I really wanna know what you need, what you hope for, and where you struggle. We could do it together as a community. So as we talk about prayer, this is not just me giving some wisdom. This is all of us sharing the heart of Christ together and doing that a little bit together, if that's okay. And so we'll do that, we'll do a little bit of sharing and then I will teach a little bit about just some of the things that I heard and just ways of growing intimacy. And then in the end, we'll do some exercise where we actually can pray with each other and have some time for silence as well. Initially, I thought I would be able to have a musician come and do some prayer time. I think we'll have a lot of time throughout the weekend to hopefully be praying. But you can never, what I really wanna do is soak. I was just soaking in his presence. There's something about that. And depending on our time, if we have a little bit of time at the end, we'll let that happen. So, awesome. Let's pray. Father, Son, Holy Spirit, amen. Woo, heavenly Father, yes. Breathe it in, Father. We thank you so much, Holy Spirit. We thank you for your presence, how you move and have your way. I ask that you'd bless this workshop. I ask you to bless my heart that I could hear you, Father, and that you would draw us into intimacy. Your kids wanna know your voice. Give us a stillness. Give us a heart focused on you. We ask this all in Jesus' name, amen. So, as we begin this workshop, I want to actually, part of what I wanna really talk about is becoming the beloved. I talked a little bit about this this morning. But what does that look like to become more childlike in the craziness of our schedules? And I work full-time in ministry and I am a recovering perfectionist. I'm now a good enoughist and a, so y'all know what that is. And I'm learning how to be a child again in my adult years. After many, many years, I talked a little bit about this this morning, many years of striving, many years of seeking and trying to find love, and now learning what does it mean just to be his delight and carving out space and time to let him love me, which is so essential. So, to do that, what I really wanted to do is actually we're gonna be like little children. And so our opening prayer is actually gonna be a children's book called, yes, so we're gonna actually put it on our pajamas. In this workshop, gentlemen, you could have G-I-G-O or Transformer pajamas. You do not have to have our, whatever our womanly pajamas would be. You could have some fierce army boot pajamas. Whatever you wear. I want us to be at home, kind of like we're hearing like children that we're gonna hear this, this book is called Children of a King. And I'm not gonna read the whole thing so it would probably take about 10 minutes. We're just gonna really probably read the last five or six pages. The beginning of the book starts with a character that is looking, there's a king. You can kind of see how this is what we've been talking about, a king who's coming and she's looking to give him a gift. And she can't read and she doesn't have many talents. So she goes from one person, this is the pre-emptive, she's going to one person in the village to another person trying to find a gift worthy of the king and she has nothing. She's a peasant, she can't read, she doesn't have any like, like what do I have to offer? And all these other people in the village have like beautiful art and poetry and these works and she's like, and she's kind of stumbling. And she comes to this point where she, she's kind of gone through all the places, striving to find what's gonna be good enough. And then she comes to this place where she's gonna have this exchange with the king. So we'll have our, what was your name again? Teresa. First of all, can everyone notice how wonderful this height difference is between the two of us? Is this not awesome? Like so awesome. Okay, I love it. So she said that I thought it would be really sweet to have a generation just sharing as a mama. Are you a grandmother? I'm a great grandma. Oh. Barretchen, I love it. So we're gonna be your grandchildren in this spiritual realm and have this share with us this last part of the book. Can you hold this? Is that okay or do you want me to hold it? Okay, I will hold it for you. Is that okay? I have nothing to offer the king, she said. Could you teach me to read so I might show him my wisdom? The young sage to be didn't speak. He was lost in thought. The child with no gift spoke again. Could you help me? I have no talent. Go away, said the scholar, scarcely moving his eyes from the text. Can't you see I'm preparing myself for the coming of the king? And so the girl went away sadly. She had nothing to give. She returned to her place at the city gates and took up her task of caring for people's animals. After some days, a man in merchant's clothes came to the small town. Can you feed my donkey, he asked the girl? The orphan jumped up to her feet and looked into the brown face of the one who had traveled far. His skin with leathery from the sun and his eyes were deep. His kind smile warmed the girl's heart. That I can, she answered eerily, leading the animal, trust him to me. When you return, he will be groomed and fed. Tell me, she asked as the donkey drank, have you come to stay? For only a while, I'm looking for someone. Are you weary from your journey? That I am. Would you like to sit and rest? The girl motioned to a bench near the wall. The tall man sat on the bench, leaned against the wall, closed his eyes and slept. After a few minutes, he awoke and found the girl sitting at his feet, watching his face. She was embarrassed that he had caught her staring. She turned away. Have you been sitting there long? Yes. What do you seek? Nothing. You seem to be a kind man with a peaceful heart. It's good to be near you. The man smiled and stroke his beard. You are a wise girl, he said. When I return, we will visit more. The man did return quite soon. Did you find the one you were seeking? The girl asked. I found them, but they were too busy for me. What do you mean? The first one that I came to see was a woodsmith rushing to complete a project. He told me to return tomorrow. Another was an artist. I saw her sitting on a hillside, but the people below said she did not want to be disturbed. The other was a musician. I sat with the others and listened to her music. When I asked to talk to her, she said she had no time. The other I saw had left. He has moved to the city to go to school. The girl's eyes widened as she realized who the man was. But you don't look like a king, she gasped. I try not to, he explained. Being a king can be lonely. People act strangely around me. They ask for favors. They try to impress me. They bring me all their complaints. But isn't that what a king is for? Asked the girl. Certainly responded the king. But there are times when I just want to be with my people. There are times when I want to talk to my people, to hear about their day, to laugh a bit, to cry some. There are times when I just want to be their father. Is that why you adopted the children? That's why adults think they have to impress me. Children don't. They just want to talk to me. They know that I love them just the way they are. But my brothers and sisters were too busy. They were, but I'll come back. Maybe they'll have more time another day. The girl hesitated. Sir, what about me? I have no gift. But I would like to be your child. The king smiled. My dear, you gave the best gift of all. You gave your heart. Your kindness. Your time. Your love. Of course you'll be my child. I love you just the way you are. And so it happened that the children with many talents, but no time missed the visit of the king. While the girl whose only gift was the gift of her heart became the child of the king. Amen. Father, son, so Heavenly Father, we thank you for the nursery rhymes of babes that teach us the wisdom of your heart. I ask that you bless this session. Help us to hear what it means to be like, to be small and waste time with you, to know your voice and to hear your laughter and to begin to become your friend. I ask in this session that you give me wisdom how to move and how to hear that I don't have to dazzle. I just need you. And I ask this all in Jesus' name. Amen. Father, son, amen. Is that not the most amazing book ever? I found it. I'm like, this is gold. I'm like, can someone, that's why I just want to curl up and be like, can you please read that over and over? You know, like a little kid with my feet swinging because I'm really tall and lanky. You know, I'm like, just want to hear just the truth of who we are in Christ. And I think we can make it really complicated. And so as we start today, I wanna just say that the Lord hungers to spend time with you. The Lord delights and desires. And as much as we're so busy, and I say this for myself, to have that frame of mind shift, of the hunger of just God who desires time to be with his kids. And I know that that is a hard balance in our busy schedule that sometimes it feels very unproductive. But the gift of what I've really learned is the gift of presence. We see that in our own relationships and our friendships about giving time to someone is probably the best offering that we can give. And so I'm gonna share a little bit about how do we do that well. Some tips of what I find helpful. And here's the beauty is just like any relationship you're gonna have to find your own love story and how he speaks to you specifically. But I will help talk about how the church really speaks about different modes of hearing in the spiritual realm and go a little bit deeper. Before I do that, I wanna hear from you on just your thoughts on prayer. Where as we start would be helpful for you? Or do you struggle? What are your, what are your, like, let me know if you were like writing the perfect workshop ever. And you wanted a tall ginger to bear her soul and make you have fun. What would you wanna hear specifically so that you don't leave like, okay, well, that was nice. We did some exegesis in scripture. That was nice. We did a little bit of prayer in Bible. I've done that before. What do you need? How can I serve you? How can I love you today? Okay? Yes, come on. I'm gonna run over like a little bit of a Oprah Winfrey. So I'd love your thoughts on how do you move from just saying your prayers or doing your prayers day after day, the Rosie, okay, check, done that, read a bit of the Bible, check, done that, gone to mass, check, done that, to what you're describing of spending, delighting to spend time with God and having him delight in you. So good, so good. I see a sister's in the room. That means she's probably, she can have some wisdom. I'm gonna hold that and answer that because I think that actually has a couple layers to it being attuned to the heart. So yes, putting that in my mind, yes. I like to spend time with the Lord, but I find that I battle distractions a lot. I'd like some help with that, please. Beautiful. Yes, yes. I'm gonna use a pen so I can write this down and make sure I hit them all. Can I steal? Do you have an extra one? Yes, generosity of the Lord. Thanks, you're the best. You had one? I wanted that love relationship with God that lights people's faces up. And I've been searching for a long, long time and still haven't found it. And that's why I was hoping out of this weekend. I'd like to know how do you let go of your sins you can't let go of. Dang, this is so good. I'm gonna cry a little. So wait, I just need to address you. I want you to know this, that what you're doing right now and you're hungering is the beginning of it all. We can talk. I hungered for 10 years in the inner healing work. I get that. Stay. And I'm like wanna minister to you right now, but I don't wanna try to, we'll talk, let us talk to you later, but please know that the Lord is closer than your breath. And I think if you can stay in it, the perseverance of these seasons. So knowing the season you're in with the Lord is really important that every season looks right. Sometimes there are seasons that I am like, you know this with parenting, right? You have some kids and there are seasons where you are like working on a discipline with your kids. And that is where you are just leaning in. You're like just hitting it over and over. And sometimes the Lord will stay on that for a season with me. And that is the season we're in. We're in a season of discipline. And he's speaking to me that in prayers. Another time, and so I wanna just say he's faithful to the season and that there is breakthrough. But I wanna pray with you one on one because I wanna speak into that and we'll do a couple more and then I'll jump into, yes. Hi, I don't, wrong one. Hi, I wanted to ask about spiritual discipline. I start, I build, okay, this is what I'm doing every day. Then I get overwhelmed because it's too much. Then I stop, then I try another thing. So how do you build like kind of like it's program of spiritual discipline, something that's consistent, not too much, not too little. Dang, you guys are good. You're not giving me easy ones. We're definitely not with teenagers like at all. Dang y'all, okay, hope we have a couple hours. We got some work to do. Just kidding. One of the reasons I came to this session particularly based on the title is I don't know how to hear God. I don't know if he's talking to me. I do quiet prayer, contemplative prayer. I sit, but I have, I don't know. I don't know if he's talking or not. Oh, he's talking, but I don't know how to hear him. I renounce that in Jesus' name. I renounce that in Jesus' name. We'll talk, yes. My question is, maybe you've had a strong prayer life and feel like you know the Lord, but when things come at you and it's so heavy and so hard, you can't even think straight. And you need him so desperately. And in that moment, maybe how to get to him the fastest in SOS? Flare, that's what I do. All right, a couple more. Patience in listening and recognizing it's the Lord. Right this time, y'all. Now that I'm getting, like my brain doesn't, y'all know this, it's also hormone. Sorry, I'm sorry gentlemen, but the ladies understand. You can't remember anything anymore. I don't even have pregnancy brain, but I can't remember anything. Okay, so, patience. How do we know we're hearing? And then when the storms hit, so good. Seriously, let's all snuggle. Who else? Let's do a couple more. There's so many, okay. Well, let's do a couple more and then I'll jump in. How do I overcome the fear of listening to him and giving in to what he wants me to do? That means he's about to do some great work. Okay, so I'm gonna answer that right now. So it's, I would just say, verbally give him the permission. Part of walking in faith is sometimes walking even in the midst of not knowing, like it's almost like you're stepping out as you're not fully sure. A lot of times we think that we have to have the feeling. You know what I'm saying? Like I need to feel like I could do this. No, most of my stepping is I don't know if I could do this, I don't know if I could do this, but I'm trusting in you and in the stepping out. So in my prayer time, I actually vocally, either I'll say it out loud vocally, say, God, I give you permission here. And we're gonna talk about if you go to my other workshop, I do a lot of unbound prayer, which will be, which is about renouncing simply in the name of Jesus, like the spirit of fear. So I will actually take authority if I find that and I can go through, I was gonna do more unbound work in my other workshop of just how do you, the process of like really quick ways that you can just, I repent of any, so I'll just give you three. Any, I'll repent of my fear or any places where I'm trying to control or just repent. Oh, I'm constantly repenting to keep my heart pure. I'm renouncing, Lord, anything that I believe or any lie, those are the three steps. So repent, renounce, and then claim his truth. God, I give you permission and I will step out, show me what that looks like. And you're just doing that. You're just, and you're gonna try it. And if you mess up, you're like, okay, I didn't do that right, help me. And it's just like a relationship. And you just try it out and ask him specifically what that, we could talk more into specific areas, but I would say vocally give permission. A lot of the spiritual work also is in the renewal of the mind of a lot of the stuff that I hear and I see it isn't really about prayer. You're talking about how do I manage my beliefs, right? How do I manage all the things that are coming against me and my thoughts and my beliefs? And that is really, I do that in conjunction with my prayer time where I will do thought work, which is when I am looking at the beliefs I have and asking God to speak into that. And I'm looking for the truth or untruth and I'm renouncing anything that is not of him. The spiritual battle is in the mind. I'm gonna talk about this more in my next workshop. But the transformation of the mind is one of the most vital skills that we are not succeeding in in the church is learning how to manage here. And so I don't have any, I'm seeking to have no thought that is not the Father's thought. So like today, I had a thought after my workshop, some negative thoughts, right? I'm like, oh, my video didn't work perfect or blah, blah, blah, blah. Nope, Lord, that was perfect. And I take every thought captive, right? So I take that thought captive and I speak the truth. And I'm doing that so St. Paul talks about prayer as being an act all throughout my day. I'm not talking, so we're gonna talk about contemplative prayer, sitting with the Lord and letting him love you, which is totally a key. But also throughout your day, managing your mind and managing the kingdom of heaven is at hand, so that's like, we gotta get, this is, you know, it's a crazy up in here. Let's just be honest. And so I have to really work, and some days are better than others. Some days I just, I just really got my butt kicked that day. And I had a, even with my spiritual director, I was talking to her yesterday on the phone and I had, I spoke about this today, this week had a couple old lies. And I know their lies. I know their, I know their lies. This is an old one. Like, this is from, you know, high school, whatever. Like, Lord. And so my spiritual director was like, so, it's a lie. Why are we still talking? Like, she uses kind of like the same thing where she's like, okay, let's, let's claim it, let's claim the truth and not get distracted. Keep your eyes on heaven. Keep your eyes on what God has. Don't let yourself be distracted. So those disciplines, I'm not saying that we don't, there's times that God wants us to nurture those places and be really attuned like a little girl and like be allowing ourselves to weep and grieve. There's healing work. A lot of the healing work has grief work. Has that place where you sit. And then other times it's like, we did that. Okay, that's just, I need to, I need, and so that discernment of spirit is, it takes time to get to that. But meantime, all I'm saying is if you're afraid, do it afraid. I have a sign in my room that says, I can do hard things. It's framed above my bed. I can do hard things because what I've learned in my life is that if I wanna get anywhere in the spiritual life and exercise, God help me, this work I'm doing in the whole 30 and trying to get my, I have some autoimmune issues and I'm trying to get my eating right. And man, self-care is tough. That's like the smallest battle for me, but even in that, like I can do hard things. And so what I've learned is that part of, it's easy in some seasons, but sometimes like doing the hard is the best thing that we can do. And feeling our emotions and choosing, like I'm just starting, I'm still speaking to you thing, but just choosing in the midst of being uncomfortable, you're gonna be uncomfortable if God's stretching you. I'm just gonna be honest. If you want the, I mean, I can talk about receiving his love all day and that's easy. But you want the kingdom? You must be willing to get uncomfortable. He's gonna stretch you. He's gonna ask you to let go of things. He's gonna make you feel uncomfortable. He's gonna tell you to speak words over people you don't want to. He's gonna actually even let you get it wrong. Right here, I get it wrong all the time. Like that, I feel embarrassed. And the Lord is still gonna love me in that. And say, okay, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do with that? You're gonna trust in me. And having that intimacy with my father that he's talking to me all the time. Does that make sense? So I know I went through a lot and I'm gonna get to prayer and go through that. I think we had a couple more, but I'm gonna jump in, is that okay? So a couple things I just wanna talk about in the spiritual realm. We talked about rhythms of life. There's so many things. The church is beautiful and I wanna just honor the church that she gives the fullness of the beauty of what we really need to walk in. And so some people are different. I'm obviously a little more charismatic. Charismatic bent to me. And so I tend to be drawn. I wanna say that because some of you are not drawn. You're more like liturgically. I love the liturgy. I love our lady. I love the church. I don't hear that. But I'm very much drawn to more of the charismatic, even my worship style. I wanna get permission in this room that it looks different. And that within the seasons of prayer, there is a spectrum of the way God works and moves in hearts. And some of you that means like, I put on Bethel every day. I say Siri and it lights up. Play Bethel. I'm like half drinking my coffee and worshiping in my room. That's my love language. I worship in his presence. I feel his presence. I wanna be a host of his presence. That's just very Marian. It's very Catholic. But that's just me. I love worship. For others of you in this room, it might be more Benedictine where it's work and pray. Work and pray, right? And to not compare yourself to look like my spiritual walk. I wanna get freedom. Your spiritual walk does not need to look like Mary Bielskies. Your spiritual, but be attuned to what God is asking you, right? And so for some of you, just a couple of spirituality. Some of you, it might be more charismatic where it's worship. Others, it might be contemplative prayer. You said that about contemplative prayer. One of my most holiest friends, she thinks that she doesn't hear from God. It's not true. She has more of a contemplative bent to her heart and her prayer. That she finds it in contemplation and she actually won't have any thought she'll just be with him and feel at peace. And that could be just as much the Lord than even words. I mean, I think that you can stretch, if you hunger and want more of words, prophecy. I feel like God wants to give all the gifts to his kiddos. But I think also to recognize that he's in the stillness and to be at peace that he's in the stillness. And if you want more, ask him. Like a good kid, Dad, I wanna hear from you. I wanna know what that looks like. And I'm gonna talk about that in a second for you. But I wanna just speak that you do hear from him. You cannot sit in contemplative prayer and say the name of Jesus without him showing up. And what I find with our people because we feel like God isn't gonna show up. Part of the thing that has shift in my heart is the expectation. Like I come to prayer like sometimes I don't feel it. I'm just like you, I'm not feeling it. I don't wanna be there. And so I have to do my work and I have to be, I'm always doing the unbound. I'm renouncing any thoughts or anything that is not of you. And when I come into prayer just to clear my heart, I go into worship, that's just my own style. But what I wanna say in that whole, I lost my whole train of thought. Was I just talking about people? Oh, God bless you, I love y'all. It's like family. It's to come with expectations, come in expecting. And sometimes I even say it, I love Father. So I don't think he gets impressed with God, please hear my prayer, like that kind of, like that prayer of a orphan. Please God, please help me. Like I come in now and I say, Father thank you that you see me. Father thank you that you hear my voice. Thank you that you know every hair in my head. I'll speak the words back. Sometimes I'll take a scripture verse and I'll say it back to him, God you promised this to me. And I thank you that your word is gold, right? It's such a different place. Sometimes the Father's looking back in, like I feel like he's like, that's my girl. You know what I mean? Like that's, okay, I'm, you know, he's not impressed with her, please love me. I'm so, and this is from a girl who lived many, many years with self condemnation. I'm not enough, please God, please throw me a crumb. And like, I feel like he just like, you know what I mean? So side note on that, it's just coming in with expectations. So number one, recognizing all the differences of prayer styles, whether that means the liturgy, the rosary, I wanna give honor to the rosary. I wanna give honor to the liturgy, I go to Mass. I try to go daily Mass multiple times through my week. I go to adoration, I do the stuff. But in addition to the stuff, I have my time in my room, in my secret place of the Lord. And some days that is more fruitful than others. I'm just gonna be honest. And some days in my busyness, that is not, and when I'm anxious, what you're talking about when I'm anxious and not able to, and my heart is distracted in other places, it's harder for me to settle in that place. So when I find myself anxious or having those kind of, I call them floods where you're anxious about all these different things, I have to discern, is this something that God wants me to shelf, so that I need to just be with him? Like sometimes I'm distracted about things that are probably not significant and he just wants me to be with him, or do I need to actually make that my prayer? That my aching and my laboring in that specific area is like God, I need you to speak right here. So frameworks, everyone looks different. I wanna talk about the different senses in prayer. So something that doesn't, and I'm going quickly, but I got a lot to cover. When we talk about prayer, the church is gonna talk about a lot of different beauties within the liturgy and the rosary and all these. I wanna talk about contemplative prayer and I wanna talk about the charismatic movements of prayer in my own heart, this is just me. One thing that really helped me understand how God speaks is that he definitely speaks but in different ways than perhaps we always think. So just like in the natural, we hear, right? He's like, it's time to share my anointing. So just like in the unnatural, we have senses, right? So we can hear, I wanna just mirror this. So much of the natural is actually mirrored in the supernatural and so you'll see these movements. So how do I hear from God? I just wanna say, how do I hear from God? I wanna just be honest that sometimes I don't. I don't think I do, that I don't always hear and a lot of times I'm getting senses and as I get more at home with Holy Spirit and with Jesus, it's like I'm learning our love language and that takes time so I want you to have permission on that but our senses and the spiritual realm are very similar to the physical, so sight. So when I'm in prayer, I just wanna give this quick little helpful tip is sometimes people, we talked about this yesterday, seeing with your heart. The way the Holy Spirit speaks to me is through images and so oftentimes when I'm sitting with Papa which means all I'm doing and I wanna talk about once I go through some of these kind of core principles, I'll talk about what a prayer session for me would look like and I'm gonna open it up to whatever that God wants to do for you. But so sight, so sometimes when I'm praying, God will give me an image and prayer. I think we talked about that last night and some of you, if you're saying I don't get images, that's okay. I wanted you to close your eyes real quick, wanna do a demonstration of what an image would look like. You probably all know this, this is very elementary but just love me. I want you to close your eyes with me and I want you to imagine a Christmas tree. Does everyone have that in your mind? Awesome. Keep your eyes closed, I'm gonna need to keep that. And now I'm gonna have you say your name in your mind but with your voice. Okay, open your eyes. Do you guys hear that? Two things. So when I see things in the spiritual realm, sometimes it looks like, it'll be a visual, just so you know that, it'll be a visual image of my heart from my imagination. Catholics are not afraid of our imagination, it's very Ignatian. And so sometimes in the spiritual realm, he'll put an image of my heart. And I'll actually sit in that place where I'm listening and looking and sometimes things will flash in and sometimes I won't see anything. But being attuned to that, being attuned to the way God wants to speak, he's actually speaking to us all the time, we're just not tuning in. If you're not getting a sense of God speaking, it's not because he's not speaking, it's probably because we're just not tuning in and it's just a slight turn. So the visual sense is the image, the second sense is the hearing. So we also have a spiritual hearing. When you heard in your mind, your name. Are you all heard that? When God speaks to me, this blew my mind up, I was probably in my 20s and I was like waiting for like, you know people say, oh God spoke to me and I was literally waiting for like voices. You know what I mean? Like God said this, okay, he's not saying anything like that, all I'm getting is a stomach ache and hearing my random thoughts all day. But those random thoughts are exactly where God is working. Not always, right? But what the Lord sounds like, no one ever told me this. I mean, you're like, well, then how do I know when it's my thought, crazy Mary Bielski thoughts or what it's God's thoughts? He takes time, right? But to be, I want you to have confidence that oftentimes he is speaking to us in our own thoughts, right? And so when we hear our voice and that's what it sounds like when I hear my voice, Mary, you know? And it also has a different tone to it. It tends to be more of a peace. So you can know those as well. The third is the sense, I'll get a sense. A sense can be when I'm with someone, it could be an uncomfortable sense. It often feels like a sense of knowing. And this is, we're gonna have Holy Spirit doubts everyone tonight. So I'm convinced that you're all gonna come home like hearing, seeing, feeling in the spiritual realm more than ever. And to believe it, to believe it, to believe that he wants to speak and then taking steps out in faith. And so a lot of the senses is the best way I describe it is kind of an interior knowing. A sense that I'll have about someone, it's like feels like a weightiness. It doesn't, I can't even explain. I had a friend once say that when they met their husband they just knew he was the one. And so sometimes God will just speak to me with like a sense of his presence or just a sense of this is right in wisdom as I'm talking about something. And so those are kind of interior, it's really hard to explain the interior world but I'm trying to give some tangible ways that we can kind of navigate through that and hearing him. And so the senses, and so recognizing like I remember once I was in prayer and sometimes God even uses our crazy minds. I was in prayer once and I was, I do a lot of crying. I'm a tender heart and a fierce warrior, all mixed up. And I was in prayer, I was really struggling because I went through a year of inner healing work where there was a lot of just, just a lot of unworthiness. Just a lot of unworthiness, a lot of just not feeling good about myself and not loving myself and having a lot of that stuff and not knowing how to navigate and not having anyone to really help me. And I remember being in prayer and just really struggling with this shame that was just so overwhelming. And all I remember sitting in prayer and God wasn't really speaking and I was crying and I journal a lot in my own personal prayer. And I was just journaling my prayers, my thoughts. And I heard this in my back of my mind this kind of like melody. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm always distracted. And then I was like, the melody was getting louder and I realized it was Whitney Houston and which I never think about Whitney although who doesn't love like, I want to dance with somebody. You know, I'm a good karaoke winner. And the song comes on in my mind and I realized, what is this song? What is a song? And the song that the Lord, and all I realized in this moment it's that song which I will not sing. I will always love you. Ah-ha. And I was sitting in this little chair and I just hear like, which I think is a distraction. I think it's just my mind. I think I would have normally dismissed it. Sometimes a word will come in and I'll just be a tune, like is, so we're being a tune that God, I just wanna say that to you, God wants to speak to you all. He wants to start moving in bigger ways in your prayer and to be a tune that you can hear his voice. It says in John 10, 10, my sheep will know his voice and to be confident that he wants to speak to you, that he will speak to you when you come into prayer saying God, I wanna learn your voice. And here's the thing, a lot of it for me is I don't know for sure. I never get on stage 100% sure. I never give a prophetic word, 100% sure. You know why? Because it makes me lean into him more. If I start getting confident that I got it all and I can hear you in the epic, oh yeah, whatever you say. No, I need to be like God, it's so gentle and so subtle and that's important for us to stay small in him. But I wanna just encourage you to be confident that he wants to speak to you more in prayer and he wants to speak particularly in your interior life. Okay, now let's talk about what that looks like for me in a really specific way. When I go into prayer, I personally, I'm just, because I can only be me, I really love the power of worship. I'm gonna talk about four tools at my next workshop being the word of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, the name of Jesus and worship. I think those are our four power tools in the spiritual realm of, and I'll talk about that. But just particularly the word of Jesus, so scripture for me and worship are one of my primary ways of staying. But generally when I go in, you had talked about distractions, so I'm gonna hit some of your things. So when I'm going into prayer, I'm literally going in and it's almost like, you ever go to a vacation? I have made my room, I've told the Lord that my bedroom is his secret place. Sounds really cheesy, I know this is being recorded. But I walk in and I want my room to be a place that is just sacred. And so I have a little gallery wall and it's like whatever. But it's just my little space with him and sometimes I'll just sit in my, I have a prayer chair and I sit with the Lord and some days I'm busy and I don't get to do it, but I can always tell when I'm not doing it and I need to be with him. And so for me every day looks a little bit different, but when I sit with the Father, I'm just attuning. And I think what we have is sometimes they're shifting and it's hard for me to explain like the spiritual part. There's a shifting that I can go to in my busyness and a shifting that needs to happen to when I sit. There's a shifting that we can get so busy that some of us have a harder time doing that shifting than others because it's a muscle that we haven't worked. What I wanna encourage you is that shifting into that place of just abiding and into silence and to sitting is a place where you sit and you just receive. And so sometimes for those of you who love contemplated prayer, that just I'll sit in silence for a while and I'll welcome his presence. Come Lord Jesus. I don't hear anything, I'm just welcoming in. So I learned a old prayer model when I was like in eighth grade that I still sometimes use, but I'll start with Thanksgiving and I'll start with worship always in my prayer time, generally, and then if I'm rattled, someone talked about like what do you do when you're all in your rattled? Sometimes I can't get to the worship because I'm in my rattled, do y'all know what I'm talking about when you're just, so then I'm sitting in my rattled with him and I'm either depending on where I feel like God needs to and sometimes it's trial and error that I'm throwing everything at it, like the kitchen sink, but often times I'm just sitting and I'm trying to articulate my fear and journaling and listening to his voice and writing his words back. We need to be leading prayer different than when we came in. If we leave prayer, feeling the same way that we came in, most likely we weren't praying, we were just complaining. And so when I mean that, so when I go into prayer, I'm looking for an encounter with God to say not that my boss gets better, not that my anxiety is gone, not that, but there's a shifting in my heart and just enough, a little, a taste of him. So I will sit in prayer and I will start off with worship and I will always do praise and worship and then I generally just do what I learned in like third grade, which was like praise, like ask, ask, adoration, supplication, wait. Acts, thank you, contrition, I'm like messing at my things, contrition, thanksgiving. I'll usually go through all of those, but in general now I just let the spirit move. But when I'm sitting, I am sitting and I'm just worshiping him and being in tune with what the Father has to say. Some of you don't think you hear from God and I wanna just do an exercise with you that we're gonna actually practice listening. How about that? I'm gonna just hear and read a little scripture. So one of you, I'm not gonna do, I was gonna do a lexiodivina. Have you all heard of lexiodivina? Yeah, I figured you're like, you're like, this is not my first rodeo. So I don't wanna focus on that because most of you probably have heard of how to pray and how to listen. I wanna actually just talk about the little nuances of prayer to hear God's voice and how to hear him more intentionally. And so what I wanna do is I'm gonna read a scripture and just see if anyone hears anything or any images come to mind. I have a feeling that this will be more of an image-based one, but let's just see. So we're just gonna read like a little bit of Isaiah 55. And what I wanna do is in this prayer time, I wanna just, so first, as we start, what's your relationship with the father? You don't have to answer this. How many of you, let me ask you this, raise your hand if you feel like you have a good relationship with God as father? Pretty good. How many people think that they could grow in their relationship as father? Awesome, great. I'm gonna start with this. I feel like the one way that really helps me is I become a little girl or for gentlemen, which is harder for the dudes, I become a little boy. When I am with the father, I have to put my heart in a posture, and maybe that's uncomfortable, but it helps me, because sometimes it's hard for us to receive as adults. And so if you have a hard relationship with the father, what I would ask that you would begin to do as you go home in prayer, is that you would start intentionally seeking the father's heart, because he's already seeking yours. What that looks like intentionally is I'll sit down and I'll imagine me with freckles. I do a lot of imaginary prayer, and I'll put myself as little Mary. Sometimes she'll flash me to memories, but I'll be with the father, and I'll use my imagination to help him come and hear your voice. So I feel like the Lord wants me to begin there instead of doing Isaiah. I want us to actually do some father where we can actually hear father. So what I wanna ask that you do, so how do we hear the father's voice in prayer? Let's just do it right now. What I'm gonna ask that we do is I wanna have you close your eyes. I'm gonna do a little bit of a meditation of you being with the father, and I want you to be attuned to the senses. So when I say senses, the spiritual senses, what you see in your mind's eye, what you hear in your interior voice, a sense that you feel, right? Or any movements. And all this exercise is, if you walk away feeling nothing but your stomach grumbling, that's okay. We're just practicing, okay? So let's close our eyes. Heavenly Father, I thank you and I welcome you Holy Spirit, that you are with us and that you wanna teach us the father's heart. And as we begin today, Father, I ask that you would speak because your children wanna know your voice. They wanna know how to hear from you. And I wanna imagine for everyone in this room that you would be like a little girl or a little boy in your mind's eye. Maybe you had pigtails, maybe you had roughed up jeans, maybe you're a boy who played sports and you're in a uniform, and I don't know what age that is, but I want you to imagine what it feels safe for you to be like a little kid again. And I want to imagine what you're walking into a room and you're opening a door, and as you walk into the other side of the door, you see your Father. You see your Heavenly Father. You see His eyes light up as He sees you and the expectation for Him to sit with you at His feet. And as you get closer, you're like excited but not sure if He wants to spend time. He looks at you with a big smile. And this is Holy Spirit, I ask that you would just reveal the heart today of the Father. And I feel like the Father looks at you and He says, what do you want me to do for you? We're gonna ask that one more time. What do you want me to do for you? If you have a journal right now and I encourage you to start writing down maybe some things that you wanna tell Him or if you just wanna sit here for a minute, we're just gonna let the Father minister as if right now no one else is with you. I want you just to be with the Father and say, Father, I need help here. We're just gonna let this little silence come. Next question I have is, what do you need the Father to know? And finally, as you're sitting with Him and you're dialoguing, the Father has a gift for you today. He has something that He's been waiting and so He reaches to the side and He pulls out this gift that you open. I want you to imagine what that gift looks like and how it's wrapped. And there's something very specific only for you. Father, I ask as we pray that you would show what's the truth or the gift that you wanna give each individual today. It could be a word. Holy Spirit, right now I ask in your name, Father, that you would just move and give us a sense of what you wanna give each one of us today.