 It's a real feeling when I feel and if you're feeling that you're behind in life, that you're behind, meaning everybody's ahead of you, that you're only in this race, you're only seeing the backs of people and in a race, especially a sprint, but even long distance, you rarely if ever look back. So the people ahead of you, you're seeing their backs and they're not even making eye contact with you as they turn back. So this feeling of being left behind in life can consist of feelings of loneliness and abandon and like we're not doing the right thing and everybody else has it figured out and they're going to cross that line first and I'm going to be this loser at the very end where they're like, it's about time, wow, if ever you get to the finish line, that is. Let me shift your perspective on this if I can and I have a feeling that you'll feel better about this because this is what this channel is all about and this podcast, the Being Human podcast, we're talking about real stuff. I'm not here to tell you I got everything figured out. I'm here to tell you that I've felt behind in many parts of my life, especially since COVID, didn't we all? I know that feeling and what I had to ask myself and bounce ideas off other people is what metric am I using to that that's kind of allowing this feeling to to wrap itself around me and really get inside me. What metric am I using to compare to other people? The feeling of being behind is a direct result of comparing to other people. This sense, this feeling, these thoughts don't exist without us looking over our left shoulder, right shoulder, ahead, behind, looking at our neighbors and being like, well, what are they doing? What are they doing better? What are they doing worse? Oh, I see like I'm ahead of them in this, got it. Oh, but they're doing a lot better in that area. I'm behind on that. They look happy there. I'm miserable there. They're in better shape there. I'm fatter there. They're making more money there. I'm making less money here. They have three kids. I have no kids. They're married. I'm not. They live in this nice tropical environment. I live in a Canadian cold winter or up in the northern US. They have this. I don't have this. See what I'm saying? The feeling behind is always because we're looking at others. Imagine this racetrack analogy, right, that you're in this race and if you look at life as a race with a finished line, with some kind of salvation at the end, death and afterlife, whoever gets there first, what, do they get the first seat after the Golden Gates? They get the front row to the show. What are we racing towards? Really? Really? What are we racing towards? That's a funny thing to ask yourself. You might bring up a sense of levity and be like, yeah, what the heck? Race. We get so caught up in the race because we see it everywhere. This person's getting the race and in the rat race for the place in the company to make more money and to make more money so they can go on more trips, which means they have to work harder. They have to go on less trips, actually. And then they're more stressed because they have more expenses because they bought more and all this material wealth that they've finally accumulated weighs their shoulders down and they don't feel free at all and the money's a curse. We don't know the stories, the full stories of people yet we still compare and put the best situation in their laps. And then we put that there and we compare that they got the best thing going on. If we look at life as a race and we're getting to some end, of course we're going to feel behind or ahead. And if we're racing against other people rather than walking with other people, what a difference that would make, wouldn't it? If we were racing against people and there has to be a winner and a loser, gold, silver, bronze, last place, okay? That's competition. Competition is, I'm walking with people. We're like holding hands like in Whoville during Christmas when the Grinch looks down and they're just like... Walking with people and people that you choose, too, you don't have to hold a greasy hand. Don't worry about it. Walking with people on this journey and collaborating is way different than competing. But life is a competition. That's what people are telling you. In some ways it is. Of course it is. But this idea of scarcity is so not true. So I wonder if you were walking with people, how that would make you feel. Or if you were, say, still in this race and you see life as a race, but it's your own personal track. It's your own personal track. You got your own running shoes on and you can freaking walk if you want to. At your own pace. At your own pace you can walk. And maybe there's little nice lazy boy chairs around the track and you can rest up when you need to. And there's like a nice ice cold water there. Maybe there's your favorite juice. Maybe you get a McCain's cake, just the chocolate. And then there's a nice fridge beside you with some whipped cream. And you eat that McCain's cake. And then you just keep walking at your own pace. You don't know what anybody else's time is. You don't know if people are running, walking, if they're walking backwards, if they're crawling, if they're rolling, no, no, no, this is your time. And it's your pace. And it's your mission. And you're enjoying the journey. Because you get to walk a little bit. You get to rest. You get to eat. You chill. And then you keep walking, keep running. Do some sprints. You get to skip a little bit. You get to do some jumping jacks, some cartwheels. You get to work on your back flip if you want. You get to somersault. There's a foam pad around the track, so you get to do these hops and flips into the foam pit. What a journey. Like a jungle gym for adults. Imagine that. How does that make you feel? If you close your eyes right now and imagine the journey as this bright and beautiful jungle gym like we used to have as kids where we'd go and different colored monkey bars and their swings and you remember the spider web of ropes that you'd climb up, right? Everything's different colors. Everything's beautiful. You grow up as an adult. We paint everything beige. Things have to be boring. We need to have a bookshelf to share our knowledge with people on Zoom in the background. Everything's very serious. It's up to our waist or up to our neck and we're just treading water through life and things get serious and we forget the bright colors along the way. All we can think about is life as this fucking competition. I'm ahead of that person, but I'm behind that person. Now I'm going to sprint so hard and gas myself up, boom, so I can get ahead of the pack and I have to maintain that. There's no looking back, so I don't give a shit about anybody behind me. This is my life, my mission, my rules. It's all about me in comparison and competition versus collaboration. There's a difference, eh? Because I'm thinking about that now it's like, okay, if this is all about you, well wouldn't the, whoops, wouldn't the lazy boy you and when it's on your own track and you got the jungle gym and the foam pit and everything. Isn't that all about you? If you align with a mission in that and going at your own pace, it's a beautiful thing. If you're doing it all for a reason, in a mission, you enjoy the journey. In a mission, what you're here for and the impact you want to have and the person you want to be, that can happen in the beautiful life of the jungle gym and around that beautiful, bouncy, colorful track. Is the person you want to be, the one that's constantly chasing? Never looking back, wanting to overpower the person ahead of you. Your whole mission is being first. The whole mission of being first, that is self-indulgent. That is thinking of yourself so much because you're completely discluting and not caring about anybody else. Like the analogy of the, I don't know, I'm having such an image of that right now, of this colorful track. Other people can be in that with you, actually. That's the difference. Other people can be in that with you. Imagine you all playing together around this track. Maybe not around the track, maybe it's a straight road. It's a winding road, but there's obstacles and you make the obstacle your way in that stoic perspective and you're all chilling. And there's hard rocks to climb up there. There's rock climbing. You've got to belay people. You've got to help each other out. And you're getting there together. And it's colorful. It's bright, but then there's tunnels you've got to go through. And remember, it's not about the journey or the destination. Sometimes it's the people that you're on the journey with that make it all worthwhile. Feeling behind in life, what if I gave you a little bit of homework and you were to draw a future path that's like a playground for you with other people rather than a competition. And on one side, I'm going to show you this right now. I was going to save this for monthly meetups with patrons. I'm going to show you this right now. So this is behind in life. I'm writing this down. I'm going to show you this picture first. Behind in life, this is competition. It doesn't mean competition will never exist. It's fun sometimes. Like I remember quitting volleyball teams because everybody sucked and they weren't taking it seriously. Like the fun part about certain sports is that it is competitive because people give it their all and they do their absolute best. And there's that adrenaline and people showing up and really giving it their all. Like you see the potential being met on a court in the field. So competition isn't always gone. But there's behind in life and competition. And then there's, whoops, collaboration, which is the journey together. Here. So if you draw, ooh, that's not going to focus. Come on now. Oh, that falls. OK, I just drew two sections. Get a piece of paper, cut it in half like this, or draw a line through it. And then the one side you're going to draw, how you feel when you're behind in life and what that road looks like of competition, what that road looks like, and then the journey together, collaboration, what does that look like? So just get a piece of paper and see what comes up for you in drawing. I had another drawing exercise we also did on our monthly calls. And I'd love to share that with you later on. But the feeling behind to put an image to it really, really helps to see that, oh my gosh, the behind in life is a stressful one. It's a boring one. And I actually don't have to look at things that way. We're almost taught to look at things that way. That the world is scarce. And in order to get the job you want and the life you want, there's only so many. That's all scarcity. That helps you buy stuff when there's scarcity, right? Why do you think Bitcoin did so well? Because there's only so much Bitcoin and it has to be, it has to be mined and there's only however million and you have to get in now and everyone jumped in. It's scarce. It means it's valuable. It means it's exciting. But nothing always has to be a competition. You can go at your own pace. You can go alone. You can go together. But it can be at your own pace. You don't have to compare to other people. That's a choice. Now, how you stop yourself from doing that is real simple. I don't look at my Instagram timeline. Only reels of jokes. That's it. I do not look at TikTok. I do not look at YouTube unless it's like some Sunday sermons or something in that realm. I don't. I can't because my mind automatically goes to that on behind in life and there's comparison. So why would I tempt myself in that? Temptation is always alluring. You think you're going to make yourself feel better somehow. Or there's a dark part of you that wants attention and you want to go into that feeling of comfort that you're used to, that dark place, that bitter place, that resentful place, and you're like, I'm going to be tempted and I'm going to go through it. Absolutely. Let's go through the door of temptation. Let's go on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook. Let's see what people are doing that I used to know. Oh, looks like I'm behind in life because they have this job. They live here. They're doing that. I'm no different. But you have to respect yourself enough to say no. Saying no a lot of the time means not necessarily saying no to an event or someone asking you something specific. It's saying no to a temptation. It's saying no to a part of you that wants to bring you down, that wants attention in that way. Something that's really not good for you. That will hurt you in the long run. We have to say no to those things. I hope that helps everyone. So I'd love for you to try this drawing of behind in life as a competition and versus a journey. And what that would look like, you can write down words to this. You can write down lists of what would happen in my life if it was viewed more as a collaboration versus a competition. And what does that road look like? Are there roller coasters? Is there a foam pit? Are there monkey bars? Is there a bowling alley? What would be fun about your life looking at it as a collaboration versus competition? To put an image to that, add some color to it. If I were to draw behind in life as a competition, it'd be black and white. I'd do it with a pencil or a pen. The journey, woo! Let's get it with the pencil crayons. Let's get it with the Sharpies. Let's make it fun. I think it'd be a really great tool for you. Now, I want to make sure that everybody knows this because a lot of people have been to the Patreon website. There's like 492 or 500 members now. And that's the free subscription. So you see a few posts that I put on patreon.com slash scott st. Marie. It's in the description. And unfortunately, you're not allowed. You're not, you don't have access to the monthly calls or we may be doing bi-weekly calls to improve your meditation practice, help with anxiety, bring you a sense of community and talk about these things and share your voice. If you want to be a part of that, it's a few pennies a month for you to join up. And I'd love to see you on those monthly calls and you get 100 plus videos that will be unlocked. If you join Patreon and it also helps support these videos. And I hope you get a lot out of these videos by reading the comments. I think it's great. Now, that's one option links in the description. Please check it out. No pressure, but I always find it amazing that people do give to Patreon because you've never met me in person. You watch my videos. I hope you know they're sincere and my mission is to help people feel good about themselves. And a donation and joining monthly calls just brings so much warmth to my heart and this mission I'm on. So thank you very much, sincerely. So please feel free to check out the Patreon link in the description, the six-part video series I'm putting together, which I'll definitely get to about managing, dealing with overcoming anxiety with a sense of compassion. I'm having a whole new course being put out too. It's gonna be awesome. And just, I don't know. Just, I know how easy it is to put yourself down. I know how easy it is to think that you're nothing compared to other people who seemingly have it all. I know how easy it is inviting it is and how accurate it can really feel that you're behind and you're not good. You're not good enough and maybe you never will be. And those are lies. Those are absolute lies. It is not true. The feeling feels true. But where the feeling came from, that is not the right perspective and you can change that. And I hope by listening to this podcast episode and joining me every week, we can unpack a few of these things and these just these webs of inner criticism that we all have for ourselves and we can break them down a little bit. So thank you very much for joining. I'll see you next week. I look forward to your comments because I'm reading all of them now, responding to as many as I can. Have a listen on Spotify. I'll see you on Patreon. Take care, everybody. God bless. Love ya. Bye-bye.