 Make sure I got my microphone on, be all here with a hot mic like, be like them civil rights activists, have a hot mic and be calling people the n-word and don't even know the mic on. Make sure the microphone on, call people out their name, microphone all kind of hot. Oh y'all can hear me, I'm trying to make sure y'all can hear me now. You know how the civil rights leaders, the mic be on and they be calling people all kind of n-words. Like, hey you know your mic was on, then your Ralph, Ralph you ain't know that mic was on? So I might have jumped right on in, how to build character. Do you have a video on being a woman of integrity? I'm pretty sure I got a video on like integrity probably on the Sunday sermon so when you go to my channel and you click on playlist, then click on Sunday sermons and it should be something in there that you can find that's on that topic. Leela God bless you, God bless you, means a lot, bless you. Make sure you put the hashtag Q in front of your question so I can see you and not sure, I just randomly did this, not sure how many moderators we'll have, I see Glam Rocks in here, God bless you. Glam Rocks is also a member of the growth group which we started up through Tony Gaston Academy. We just getting started so we really ain't really got going yet. We haven't had a real call yet, had a little intro call that was really messing up the other night on YouTube Live. Hey Uncle Tony, God has been writing me for a week or two on IG every day, getting to know each other, has talked about hanging out but hasn't asked for my number, how long till I cut it off. To be honest with you, that's a new kind of situation for me, you know I haven't dated in a long time and with social media today, it's a lot of new norms so you kind of, it's touch and go on situations like that. You got to listen to your intuition, you're not smoking crack or nothing like that so your intuition is really sharp so you'll be able to feel it but with today being different with this social media being in place, it's a little different in the old days you know when I was dating so what I would say is you know talk to him and see that that's a good space to be in that DM because once you get your phone number, that's personal space and that's a place where if he turned out to be Ted Bundy nephew that could be very draining this man having your phone number and now you got to change your whole phone number because even if you block him, he still could be calling you from other phone numbers calling you his number block and what have you so you know be comfortable in that space for a little while hello reached out to my baby daddy and he still operates like he did when together turn the courts turn to the courts at this point you know went on the court situation I used to be all for that and really on that but now seeing both sides of it and talking to more men and seeing how it is you know that's a personal that's a personal choice you know you got to know what you're getting into when you're bringing the people in your business you know and it's a lot going on and I really start to look at that thing and say well you know if somebody don't want to be in your your life or your child life without the courts being involved then do you want to force that type of person to be in a life you know do you want to force communication with that person and force you know dealings with that person versus just gone about your business and being everything that you need to be for your child and so it's something to think about and that that probably we have some great co-parents and coaches on my mentor dot life that can work with you through that on a deeper level what's the best way to let a friend go of 25 years situation ship for four years I allow so much he keeps calling but don't want a relationship I waited eight years and fail no for a year now with something like that you just gonna have to cut it off you have to cut it off it really can't be really cold turkey cuz it's been so many years but a situation like that you got to cut it off you know you just gonna have to have that closure conversation if you can't have it on the phone send it through text let him know you moving on with your life be absolutely serious when you say it and gone about your business because that's gonna be you know tough there should I put an effort to getting into a relationship with my baby daddy we never actually been together got pregnant from a friends with benefits situation ship but starting to like him no you shouldn't put in any effort unless he's putting in effort the gazelle should never pursue a lion you know and a lioness should not pursue the lion so you have to he didn't did what he did with you y'all got a baby that's clear cut if he want to be in a relationship so now if he's pursuing you then okay that's different but you trying to initiate it and make it happen you could be barking up the wrong tree and right now really you land in the bed that you made and sometimes we want to switch beds after we have made the bed this particular bed and that's that's part of the consequences so really now it's like a lesson for your friends your family your nieces your nephews like a do not be in no friends with benefits situation because you can mess around and have your bun in the oven and you ain't even got no relationship with this person y'all not even together because y'all was messing around playing house so at this point it's a lesson that if it don't work out between y'all romantically it's the consequences of your choices and in life sometimes we just got to accept the consequences for making the choices we make me and my DM keep talking about why is this the first thing they talk about I try to shift the conversation without saying I'm understanding well that lets you know that's the type of man in the DM that you need to cut off immediately because if a man ain't even seeing you in person and he already talking about like that that's a way to your time to even respond you know because that's that disrespect you know every man know that don't a man just come up to no woman on no DM and just start talking nasty so that's blatant disrespect and if you entertaining that then you have to question your yourself worth yourself image you know your self-respect you should never let a man talk to you any kind of way God bless you just ended a 15-year relationship huh oh friendship with a am I blocked him on everything he is reaching out those close to me with messages I don't want the friendship what should I do help 15-year friendship since I really don't know I really don't know what to tell you on that one because that's you know that's a different kind of man and so I really the advice only that I could give on it is on the kind of man that I was and the kind of man that I am and so that he's still a man now but it's just the mind work different okay when he want to do that over there my mind can't conceive that so I don't know what else goes with that mindset you know with that mindset so honestly I can't really speak to that because I don't want to say something and then next thing you know this man slicing your tires busting your windows out playing Jasmine Sullivan music outside the house all night and you like Tony said this because I don't really know what what the brother gonna you know what he up to so if you got another one of the old kind of friends he might better understand the emotions and the feelings that they have you know but I'm personally I I'm just not sure if it's a makeup of this particular gentleman separated one year with ex cheated doesn't want to discuss the war well you need to talk to a family attorney and see if he need to discuss it because if you don't need him to discuss it then you just could go on to the family attorney and do what you got to do to go around him to go and get it done six years now wants to marry me 28 six months after I got saved now wants to marry me six months after I got saved he's not we've been on and off he's 34 been trying a lot to work it out how to know it's real on this one you got to listen to your intuition you because you in it and you with him and so what you got to realize on the situation like that is when you get saved and he's not saved you know whatever save means to you that's your foundation so if you leaning on the rock and he don't believe in the rock it's gonna be hard for y'all to build on a on the rock it's gonna be hard to build on a firm foundation so you hold on to and you fight for marriage you don't fight for dating relationships you don't fight for anything pre-marriage when you get all the way and you get married that's when you really fight for that but before that that's your time to leave so if you see already before you get married that y'all have y'all growing in two different directions then that's your time to leave right there instead of forcing that situation and then getting in marriage and then you still going through more of the same like you said y'all on y'all off and welcome to the new bless tribe members God bless you now see I'm gonna have to go live a little more get a couple members I see people see you on here having this good chat and they stand outside the club join the membership but the only reason why I do that is because I suffer a lot of concussions in college playing football and it's a little something with my wiring when you get hit in the head a lot that kind of make you feel off and so when I have a troll in my comments I literally be trying to look up their name to find out their address to send them hit us off a troll online so the reason why I do this right here so only group members could chat because I figure if you pay the hate you already living in your horrible place so I just decrease the noise by having only members of the bless tribe can be in the chat so that's that's why I do that just cuz for my mental health I never get approached by men in public or DM I feel invisible and unattractive I make sure to appear friendly and approachable it is discouraging to myself esteem what else can I do well system sometimes you and Heidi you know sometimes you and Heidi you and protective custody from God other times is based on what you're telling yourself so now I can't really see you on here let me see how I see with my good good eye and a lot of times it come down to perception so now you got a red hair so you look like Charlie Baltimore that right there could be intimidating to some men because you look like a cutter you see what I mean look like got a switch blade in your pocket so it could be some superficial but then on the deeper level it could be this what you telling yourself so if you telling yourself I feel unattractive now I me being a married man I can't speak to your attractiveness so because there are too many people they're taking try to run with your stuff the wrong way so I can't speak to your attractiveness so I'm not the one that can really affirm you in that area yeah I talked to your cousin to your brother to your daddy you know co-worker but the other part is what you telling yourself so and I get this question a lot from women say hey men not approaching me I just can't approach I can't just I can't attract anybody I'm just dissing that when you telling yourself that that's showing on your face so you walking around and you telling yourself unattractive so now your face is turned up and a man looking at you he getting ready to approach you but you you see what I mean and it's because of what you telling yourself so when you change what you telling yourself and you say you know what I am beautiful I am amazed that the person for me is for me the day thing to be my day so now you walking you you got a song on your heart you smiling you making eye contact you nodding so now that self-talk so your input determine your output and then your output gonna determine your income what you bringing in so that's what you got the real uh-oh y'all forgive me I ain't see people up here oh God bless you now all the new members I ain't see the people put the message up there in the colors forgive me earth angel God bless you why do men ask why my baby's dad would give us up and what's the best way to respond if I left him for being a cheater and toxic being asked is multiple times all seem surprised that I'm a single mom now I'm gonna tell you what that's a compliment if a man seems surprised that you're a single mom that's a compliment and then when you answer the way you answer and let him know that you love him because he a cheater that's a great and good answer but the other thing which I have to realize is I've heard it said before that seventy percent of men are introverts so one thing that make a man look awkward is when a woman come around so what y'all have to realize is a lot of the stuff that y'all be asking me about why does a man say this why does a man say that it's really just cuz he nervous it's because he's it's just a conversation piece he just don't it don't even mean anything like he don't even mean anything by it he just you know you say how you doing and he say you too and you like huh you too but you ask him how it just it just men being awkward around a woman so sometimes a man ask you a question it's literally just a conversation piece because the the the alternative to that question so why why your child father walked out on y'all the alternative to that question is how does it feel and you like what you mean when you fell from heaven because he seen that on a movie so instead of that corny line he hit you with a question that really don't even mean nothing it just conversation so everything you hear you got to take it with a grain of salt so y'all for God pleasure my husband and I separated the end wasn't ugly and now he's called me to ask silly questions and he offered to fix my car several is this a good sign no not necessarily it just he trying to stay in your life trying to keep you stuck trying to keep you there I wouldn't read too much into it on Cam God bless you will a man take a single mom of one seriously who wants to wait till marriage I feel like men are typically looking for one thing from us also with influences online telling them that we are low-value what to do I don't want to do it God's way I'm 24 the man for you will take you seriously so yes the logical question is oh I don't have that when you already got a child so yes that's a logical question but it's again it's just conversation piece it's like if if you save in yourself a man don't care about that if he's for you that's the man that's meant to be your husband the man that just coming to get him a nut like a squirrel he he he out there climbing through the trees and looking for a corn he's gonna have a problem with that and that's why he want to know if you save in yourself and that's why I tell everybody who absolute don't go telling people your business because for one you don't know if you absent and y'all hold y'all questions real quick let me touch on this right here for one you don't know if you absent because that's a daily battle that's a daily struggle so when you say you save yourself to marriage you don't know if you truly gonna make it there because you can't speak for tomorrow you don't know what you finna feel you don't know what you finna go through you hoping you gonna make it there but see when you tell somebody that you abstinent until marriage they go into challenge mode they go into game mode and when they mess around and they take you to a level you've never been to put you on a private jet or take you skydiving they get them in dolphins flowing in a way that they've never flown and they take you into uncharted territories you finna be in the mouth deeps like I'm finna take my wife over there and you seeing stuff and hearing stuff and smelling stuff and tasting stuff you ain't never seen you don't know what you finna do because when you them been in that bedroom it's like riding a bicycle so that's why I tell y'all if you abstinent until marriage that's between you and God you don't got to tell nobody your business don't put nothing on your forehead that you saving yourself because it don't get you cool points it don't get you brownie points it just make your life harder so what you doing with your private parts keep it private that's your private life and then the way that the person that you dealing with the way they find out is when they try to sleep with you and you turn them down if a man or woman is trying to sleep with somebody and they get turned down ten different occasions it's don't take a rocket scientist to sit there and figure out hmm hmm that person must be abstinent celibate how y'all call it celibate and that's how I tell you celibate because you don't even know how to spell the word celibate have you seen the word before and so listen to when this person is trying you and you take it and you turn them down turn them down turn them down eventually gonna get the picture and you ain't got to put on your forehead you got to put no memo in there and tell them what you doing with your body because then you could be setting yourself up for failure and you telling them you waiting and now it goes to ultimate challenge and before you know you might have been waiting and I've had several people write me and say that they have been abstinent for three years five years six years seven years and they lost it so really you they weren't really celibate they were just abstaining until the day that they gave in and the day they gave in it's like all that time mean nothing now so that that way just like the Bible say don't ever make a promise don't make promise you let your yay be a your nay be nay because you don't have the power to control not one hand on your head so when you're doing something that's private in your private life when you fasting just like the good book said don't tell people when you fasting get up wash your face go out looking like you somebody instead of going out with the sunken face and you hunched over and you you got to be to get some attention so people say what's wrong with you oh I'm fasting before the Lord that's the same thing it looked like when you tell somebody you saving yourself until marriage and that's why I try to get y'all to understand this but see this the thing the reason why so many of y'all don't listen to me is because you listen to other male coaches who tell you if you abstinent you need to tell a man on the first day you need to tell a man as soon as you talking to him you need to tell him you abstinent and then guess what happened those relationship coaches I'm not no relationship coach those relationship coaches come out and that's and that's and I know when the men cheating because they don't give away the whole game to level the playing field the way God sent sent a man to do God ain't gonna call you into this and how you holding back some of the game because the purpose of telling anything is so that we could come together and have a dialogue and build healthy households and healthy families but see what you're no a scammer when they hold back piece of the game because if this man is is not living what he teaching he's not gonna give away the whole game so that when you meet him in the DM and you never seen his wife online and you tell him on y'all first date that you abstinent he know to wash his hands with you but when you do it the way that I tell you to do it now he play itself because he don't know you waiting until marriage and he over there trying to court you and then when he get ready to give him some he get turnt down now all that money spent on them dates that's what you get sucker for trying to play the game that's what you get right there nasty clown trying to trick God's daughter now and then the other thing about it is is when you come up to a man man we don't fall in love the way women do we don't fall in love at the same rate because of the man box because of society because of these constructs that men are put into men don't fall in love the same way a woman does so when you tell a man all your business who does not love you he is easy for him to walk away but when you keep your business to yourself and you don't come tell your whole life story and all of your business you give this man time to get to know you he get to know you he get to feel your spirit he get to hear your heart so now when you get ready to tell him something real he already now love you and really feel for you but when you come telling all your business on the first second or third date he right I'm gonna I'm gone just like that so this one trying to help y'all understand now listen this is a free Q&A so y'all don't have to send the questions with the money and because see you see how I'm answering the laborating them questions they disappear so when you pay to ask a question you got to understand if I elaborate long on an answer your question to be gone and then you send over that man I understand I sent a question in so this one trying to take this is a free Q&A nine so if you do one of those nations is that remember that's a donation cuz I'm answering the question long form so understand okay hey Tony is boyfriend left me for baby mama after slandering her left me for baby mama after slandering her now he treats me like I'm the enemy why is he doing that after I was there for him when she tried to destroy him he just lost sister he got the upside down GPS syndrome and that's something I made up okay so when you hit somewhere else you know where they got it from it's called the upside down GPS syndrome he just lost he just lost and I think I did a video today talking about that y'all have to stop trying to make sense of stuff that don't make sense everything ain't gonna make sense Gina God bless you now a man professes to be majorly in love shows all the signs of being in love but I'm skeptical because I know he comes from a place of brokenness can it work am I just being insecure well it depends on how long it's been and you have to question your skepticalness so if you say you skeptical you got to ask yourself are you skeptical because of his actions or if you skeptical or are you skeptical because of your past are you skeptical because your ex-boyfriend and what he did so if you skeptical because of him because of his actions then that totally different and then everybody come from a place of brokenness so if he say he in love and he's showing love then he may not be as broken as you think he is I was God blessing or at least God bless you my eight-year-old daughter love you Tony and always want me to ask you a question so I extended it to her and she said ask him to teach me something about God I'm guessing it's perspective for her thank you how you doing young lady God bless you thank you for listening to the videos with your mom and I'm gonna tell you something about God is that God will always love you and even when you do things that God does not approve of God will forgive you and he will love you but the one thing that God also wants you to do is listen to your mama and he says that if you honor which means listen to and love your mother that your days on earth will be long so God bless you thank you and you know what it's the funnest thing to me because I've been coaching my clients and my clients be telling me that these kids know who I am I was coaching the client today she's telling me about her um her five-year-old son mama that's Tony gasping and so see that's another reason why I have to skip over the words I be saying when I don't that's another way I don't curse and this is what I try to tell people so anybody who do videos who do these videos this is what I try to help y'all understand stop cursing so you can reach the kids too because you're thinking all the cursing make you sound tough and make you sound cool and make you sound it make you sound dumb it make you sound crazy because a respectable adult don't need you to curse but then when you're doing all that cursing you cut out devout people of faith because devout people of faith in all kind of faiths not just christianity do not curse because they don't believe in profanity so now you cut out all devout people of faith you cut out all the youth all the kids who they parents don't want them listening to all that cursing and now you decreasing your message you decreasing your audience because you so bent on trying to sound tough and cool and help and to sound ignorant and that's why I try to tell people like yeah I could be up here cussing like a sailor and could scream me some cuss word together too and cuss on my diet but I'm gonna be minimizing my audience when let me tell y'all why I stopped cursing I watched the mouth of mess movie now mouth of mess was a muscle I'm a christian but the man who converted him in jail on mouth of mess movie he said a man curses because he lacks the intelligence to express what's on his mind I was probably a teenager when I watched that movie I say listen here I never curse again you're not going to be on the movie calling me dawn after I heard that on the movie I never cursed again you're not gonna catch me cursing I don't even say the n-word I just say the n-word because black people black men think we could say the n-word and think we could call each other n-word I don't even say that I don't even say that the p-word when somebody talking about they peed off ticked off I don't even say that I remove all profanity and I'm gonna tell you it just blessed my life because it purified my spirit it blessed my life it elevate my mind it helps me to become more articulate more well thought out more expressive and you get deeper your wisdom get deeper when you remove those childish ignorant filler words Elizabeth God bless you why do some men slowly fade out of a relationship instead of breaking up formally my ex with mental illness did it I blocked him well sister kind of answered your own question you know even though men without mental illness do it if someone has mental illness a mental illness is is limiting you know so the way a person would respond or react or adapt to certain situations when you have a mental illness I remember talking to a behavioral scientist and she said Tony the reason why these people we work with are labeled mildly retarded is because the normal brain when pushed to a place of adversity can adapt and adjust so she said if I walk you to the edge of a cliff your brain is going to see danger and it's going to stop and it's going to walk backwards she's like these individuals when walk to a proverbial cliff will just go ahead and jump and she said that's why they are labeled mildly retarded and she was talking about this particular group of men that we work with when I was working in the group home but that taught me something about mental illness and it taught me something about just you know developmentally disabled minds and so even though it's different and what you're talking about it still will get a person to a place to where it inhibits them from making the same decision that somebody else would make because of what they're suffering from mentally so that's one thing you got to understand you know now I know I'm missing some of y'all question now don god bless you now god bless you uh christina so christina came back with another question christina you need your co-session now need your co-session now no me don't have ten dollar meter death now need your co-session I found out my ex cheated on me with his baby mama after snooping through his phone I used to snoop through his phone a lot he made me feel horrible for snooping through his phone was I wrong yes he was wrong because it wasn't your husband and the only time when you share everything is when you married when that's not your husband or your wife then that's an invasion of privacy now see when you married it ain't no privacy because the two become one so my wife could go through my phone anytime she want to for whatever reason she want to I don't need a reason she don't need to give me a reason because I married her and I became one flesh with her so anything that's mine is hers now if she was my girlfriend then I got my space she got her space and we have privacy and so that's what we have to understand a lot of people understand that a lot of men who get married to a woman still be hollering about his privacy now play but you ain't got no privacy you married you become one if you don't want to be one then you should remain two and see we'll understand that do you think my chances of dating are slim because I don't have social media it's slimmer um because a lot of people meeting through online now but um it ain't the end of the world because it's preferable that you meet somebody out and about can you god bless you in why men love bees a page read when you nag a man sees weakness true and don't answer all his calls is this book all about games yeah it's all about games and from what you said it's all about games and when you play mind games everybody lose and I guarantee you the woman who wrote it I hear again slaughterhouse I hear again dog died I used to see that woman on uh I used to see the other woman on um me and our matchmaker and she up there me and our matchmaker was single as a dollar bill I said how you feel to match somebody and you single as a dollar bill and then I used to watch her on the show she used to tell women she used to give women advice she told one lady listen when you go into that bar you sware in there and you go up to that man at the bar and you put your hand on his shoulder and you just roll up down his shoulder I say see this why I can't do tv this why I can't do tv all these producers and stuff keep calling me about doing tv shows I said man y'all full of that message fake no too real for tv and the lady up there giving horrible advice you know why because she don't know what a lion looked like she don't know what the lion looked like so she literally instead of having this woman positioned as a lioness she positioned in this woman as a gazelle see a lion don't eat a lioness but a lion eat a gazelle so that's why I be trying to tell y'all when you want to learn about a man and the ways of a man it's going to be women who could teach you some stuff from their experiences but that's all it's going to be from their experiences but if the horse if it come from the horse's mouth then you're gonna know yeah just that horse experience but that horse then ran and galloped and hung around with other men and understand men on a whole another level for one because he got the thing swaying between legs so it's going to be a different set of instructions and that's what you got to understand you got to be careful when you learning about a man from a woman and vice versa and man got to be careful when he learned about a woman from a man because ain't nobody gonna be able to tell you about a woman better than a woman and ain't nobody gonna be able to tell you about a man better than a man but a lot of time we take it and all this our advice from people who really don't even understand what we trying to do or where we trying to go do you think my chances of dating are slim because I don't have social media okay that question I already answered it now some of y'all I don't know if y'all listening to y'all hear I answer your question and some of y'all get so caught up just hitting copy and paste with that question I've been dating a man for months very very respectful hard working has his own everything as I do stay off my back but he has issues T so it makes me unattracted but should I stay um yeah y'all stay but because he get his T fix he get his T fix and you gonna have to be creative with how you gonna get that out there to him but people know what's wrong with us and we know what we need to work on I used to have two gold teeth on the bottom two solid gold teeth down here on the bottom and uh one day my wife just said to me she was like do you want to get those goals taken off and I was and just like that she didn't say you know your breath real stank because them teeth dead under them she say nothing like that but she said hey you you want to get those goals taken off because she was she might have went and got the job at the dentist just so she could tell me that and she was enough they cracked them goals right on off of me for fifth at all as a piece and put me some veneer or some bonding or whatever you call it he told me it's temporary it's still down there ain't had to get it changed yet that was more than a decade ago and so um I'll say that to say you just have to say you know I'm going up here to get this um examination like the a consultation for veneers just because I'm just not really all the way happy with my smile like but I'm scared to go like will you go with me like will you get a consultation too uh I don't need no consultation I know you don't need a consultation but I just want to know will you get a consultation with me oh my goodness are you trying to tell me I gotta get a consultation with you yes it will make me feel good and so next thing you know now he going up there with you he get a consultation you get your consultation so now he finna get his veneers he finna get his t-fix because you finna get yours fixed and now you got your good man who got everything that just like you and now you got a t-fix so see you you don't leave somebody who is good just off of superficiality you walk away from a person who has bad character if something just wrong with somebody that that you just ain't crazy about that could be fixed you know I used my t was I had a great white sharp mouth but I got braces I got braces it helped me out so sometimes it just you know and when it was time to get braces I was 32 years old my wife she ain't say no you don't need no braces she say yeah okay yeah that'll be cool yeah sent me right on down now count going into negative and everything making that monthly payment Stephanie God bless you been with someone about a year and he went to jail I want to know is there anything wrong with waiting for him or how I should handle the situation uh that you know that's a personal choice I really don't speak on men in jail cuz I don't know what kind of criminal he is and he get out and want to have some problems with me because I told you to leave him because he ain't the cage bird singing and then I got problems in my life so really I really don't advise on criminals you know that's a personal choice on what you want to do you know he I know why the cage bird scene I really don't give advice on criminals and shooters and all that because I shoot back and I ain't trying to lose my freedom so when it comes to the criminals listen y'all got them y'all got to make a decision okay um Akilah God bless you I'm 22 nursing graduate my boyfriend of 27 switched from okay full-time to part-time work because he's in uni second degree in real estate feels shame he won't earn as much as me until he graduates next year relationship healthy otherwise well I'll tell you you know that men struggle with and the reason why men struggle with this and sometimes see when you deal with somebody what you have to realize is sometimes like the good books say my people perish because of a lack of knowledge so when you state to him you know I heard a quote that says many quake their self-worth to their net worth do you agree with that and how do you feel about it see sometimes like all of a window home said when the mind is stretched to a new dimension it never returns to its original form so sometimes we suffer just because of a lack of knowledge and we don't understand or know but when he understands that his self-worth is not determined by his network and that it doesn't make him less of a man just because a woman earns more than him because societal construct that says a man should earn more was put in place by male chauvinist by men who fear women and fear the power and the mind of women and wanting to keep women down but it's certain industries and certain places where a woman gonna make more and it's certain jobs like my wife was in school to be a doctor I was in school to be a police officer not really a police but I was a criminology major how much money you gonna make with a criminology major versus my wife having a biomedical science major so when she become a medical doctor she gonna earn more than a police officer and or detective or whatever I was gonna be but it's my passion took me over here her passion took her over there so sometimes it just depends on what you choose and and and we have to be enlightened then we come into the knowledge and then we say you know what you're right I'm judging myself based off of a societal standard that is rooted in chauvinism it's ignorant and then you didn't start to feel enlightened because he realized he judging and he bought a push away a good woman who ambitious and then he may pick up a woman who lays it and don't even want to do nothing so you see what I mean sometimes just take a conversation to where you're not talking at a person or trying to teach but you asking questions and just like in coaching people answer their own questions coach lord god bless your high Tony I may start dating again after three years I have a nice shape but my arms are fat I feel this affects a man's attraction do they care about arms or just the waist hips and booty well imitated it just depends on the man one lady come in my DM the other day mad because a lady said do booties matter do love booties matter and she was a black lady or his spank lady I say unfortunately in your culture yes men pay attention to that should it be that way no but if I would have said no absolutely not it don't I would have been lying because I'm a man and I'm around me and I know men pay attention to that in certain cultures but one thing I've never heard a requirement be is a big booty or a nice booty as I've never heard that from a white man or Asian man and it's our white who have shapes but in society a lot of them would rather not have a butt and so like my close white friend his wife she have a long it's just you know they was she was picking on herself when we was hanging out she was talking about how she ain't got no booty and all that and she happy with it and he happy with it and so and I see that to be the case so it depends on the man and his culture and where he come from and how he sees that but at the end of the day what you have to realize as a woman is that you should never change a word about you you do everything you could do to be healthy so you're working out you eating right you sleeping right wherever your body lands that's where you're supposed to be but don't go doing all this stuff here for the sake of a man because you could change everything about you and a man still cheat on you still don't want you still don't like you so you have to be comfortable in your own skin and you know I heard women talk about the arms I've heard women talk about the arms and they now have a procedure now that's artistic sculpting to where they have doctors that they'll stick a little needle in your arm and they'll suck out all of that right there and they'll contour your arm to your muscle see how I got this here muscle back here if you go to the doctor anything you got hanging on he'll he'll suck that right on out of there and then your arm would just be fit right there to that muscle so it's a lot of women going to do that because of that's a problem area and so to ease their own to ease their own if that's what makes you feel comfortable okay go ahead god bless you but when I started hearing about that as a man I was like you know looking at no arms don't worry about no arms like okay all right all right I ain't recognize that so it just a lot of times what men focus on women don't even think about what women focus on men don't even think about and so that's why you have to be comfortable in your own skin just be comfortable in your skin unicorn hey tone I'm 44 never married been single three years have dated a lot is there a certain age the possibilities of getting marriage becomes less of a reality thanks and god bless I don't think that it becomes less of a reality it just it's on your timeline you know everybody life has its own timeline so for you the older you get the more probable marriage may become because that's your timeline that's your life so you can't and then some women gonna get married at 18 that's her timeline that's her life so if you 44 and ain't never been married you've been single three years and you and you good you comfortable you breathing you living you ain't losing your mind then your timeline this is different your mental makeup is different whereas the next woman had she not got married at 30 she probably would have been in an insane asylum by 44 so our life will give us what we can handle based on our life so you can't look left and look right and see what the other people doing because they built like you so what you got to be doing in your season don't just wait you got to work why you don't just pray and wait you got to pray and work so write your book start your nonprofit start your for-profit build your brand you see what I mean go on get out then and do your thing and then what's for you gonna be for you taking care of god bless you ex-boyfriend started seeing another woman who has my name he says that he doesn't date her and they are only pals and she has a boyfriend love him but not willing to continue to suffer I can't watch him date people should I block him at this point yeah you should block him if you can't handle it block him go and block him block and delete you know somebody got a song called blocking the lead I say that boy meshed around and seen my video that went viral that were called blocking the lead a few years ago and uh because that's what I would I'd be blocking and deleting do you hear me I don't be playing around you can't handle a I don't let none disturb my people block block I start reading comments on youtube and I felt good not reading them comments and I went back to reading them a couple days ago and I got me some good old blocks in I say what did I start reading comments I need to get a hand so sometimes that's what you got to do for your sanity can't let nobody on social media drive you crazy from Mika God bless you met this guy from Ghana through a mutual now this is another country that I don't know about now because forgive me now can they be successful yes they could be successful now because anything is possible but will it have some challenges yes will it have more challenges could it have more challenges than a same culture relationship yes it could because if he won't go rice and you won't jasmine rice and then y'all have kids and then he wanted your loft I don't know how you say it now and I don't know what it is but I just see it online the word online sometimes and my wife that took some getting used to because on my side it was like oh that's uh loose that means you lose and so you know I had to get used to that so that's where you have to look at the cross cultural situation now I don't know if the video came back not but sometimes when I be watching people play back at a lie they be saying hey my video buffering and I be like no I can hear you just fine so I just got to talk through it so some of y'all it might it might cut out on you and it might come back it might it cut out on me and then it came back but I just got to talk through it so it just this here in a neck you dealing with this in a neck you dealing with this technology and just what it's going to do so y'all got the you know and in my internet me acting up in my son on the xbox my other son on his game and they stream on the internet so I'm pulling from internet they pulling from internet so you know I don't know which one is gonna do let me see um now y'all y'all hold on now y'all sending a little too many questions here now I'm getting kind of lost in the shuffle Tara God bless you phase food guy ended our talking stage in February claiming it's due to his move out of state for work he still contacts me on holidays and watch his stories why he's just bored it don't mean anything it don't mean anything the main thing y'all not together he don't want to be together that's the only point that you need to focus everything else is nothing lanina god bless you cocoa key god bless you greatest love let me see you hi tony how was your makeup amazing blessed time actually going back we went with a friend but we got to go back with my wife family I definitely could kick it with the queen gaskins I have prayed about it and I am moving back to Texas and starting my business there all your t-shirts ready I could help with that and with your emails god bless you now one of these days I get to trust to work with folks but I really don't be you know the t-shirt ready now they all it's a couple hundred t-shirts sitting right here on the ground in front of me and every day I think about releasing them and you know but it was the last time I released them couple hundred t-shirt they sold out in an hour and that thing had it had me so stressed I turned it over to my wife hun my seven-year-old was bagging up them shirts and mailing them but just watching them do it stretched me out I say that's too much work I can't be working my queen like that and I child labor laws my seven-year-old over there doing all that so that's why I've been sitting on these hill this batch I ain't released it yet because when I released this I got to do this hill work because I can't do that again to my wife and my son now my son just hit me today for five hundred and twenty dollars my youngest son for his video game that he played on the phone with ten dollars a week I did a math times 52 that's five and twenty off for a video game so I told him I'm putting him to work so I'm gonna release the shirt soon but I just got to get the the win I got to get the win got to get the mindset and just got to have me a free day that I'm releasing I release them to the blessed tribe first and that's what I did last time so the general public the people who not in the blessed tribe they didn't even know the shirts got released because the blessed tribe bought them all so they get released to the blessed tribe first so if you're not in the blessed tribe then you don't get the notifications of or stuff and a lot of times it be gone team of god bless you now god bless you thank you to the new members uh devi god bless you appreciate you I had an interesting conversation with an individual that claims people think I think you meant I am a just because I am not hanging on a man microphone should not make me why are people so narrow minded that's how people live now that's humans for you I really don't know why we so narrow minded but you know society constructs I'm narrow minded I think we all narrow minded our own way but you know just different lanes are narrow hi mr tony ex's wife cheated reached out to me and says he remembers how solid I was and needs like people around him says he is waiting for his wife to come back be his friend or not a good idea no I had to read again what you were saying no don't be his friend don't have nothing to do with the past especially no man he's looking for somebody to hold him down it's like no but if you need me to be there for you you shouldn't have broke up with me you should have worked it out so go on to your teen woman go on back to your teen wife don't be using me for no consolation for no rest stop absolutely not get on my mentor that life or hire you a coach you see what I mean don't let don't let nobody use you like that hi tony should I give another chance to a guy who let me go because he wasn't ready to commit to a woman we never actually dated but we got to know each other long distance that uh me personally as a man I would say no don't give a chance to him because as a man I know if I meet a woman that I that I like did I see some potential in that I see that this woman could be my wife I'm not going to tell her I don't want to commit to her and I don't want to be with no woman and I don't want to I'm not going to tell her that if I feel like she could be the one so I know me as a man if I tell a woman I don't want no relationship and I don't want to be committed I'm also saying you're not the one I don't want to be committed to you and then if I go somewhere else and still don't commit and don't meet nobody and then come back to this woman as you know the what I call the black book syndrome to where when a man get bored and he thought even finna find something don't find none he open that black book and go back to women that he had in his past so if he wants it in he don't deserve you now that's how I look at it how do you walk away from a 12 year touch relationship that my kids father won't let go of ones I left ones I left but the kids two still have access to me I have moved on two years now let go of ones I left since you're gonna need coaching 12 years we can't really put 12 years into uh it's a Q&A how to get better with setting boundaries when dating and friendships sit down and write your boundaries out write your boundaries out put them you know on the tables of your heart and so when you really flesh them out for yourself you read them back to yourself your deal breakers do's and don'ts that's what helps you set boundaries and you know what to do and what not to do because you've already gone through that hey y'all God bless you I only plan to come on here for an hour because it's Friday night but my house was still kind of working and moving around and I had just finished um working and coaching so I just plan to come on here for an hour so I thank y'all for being on here my internet been acting up and um so that's why it was glitching the night and then it was glitching the other night when we tried to use this for the growth group mastermind call um it was glitching so I'm trying to get me some new internet or reset this here internet and then when I just used my phone people was like oh turning the internet was working better so that's just how it is this internet be going in and out so I'm gonna call the whole raggedest spectrum spectrum give him a call sorry behind that raggedy internet we used to have bright house communication and then spectrum don't gonna come in here bullying people and the whole raggedy internet be cutting off I'm like come on now all that money paying y'all every month the raggedy internet brief Phillips God bless you how to know if a man respects you or resents you when he comes back breathe in himself get ready to go so I'm gonna answer the breathe question now y'all heard myself get ready to go that's how my clients be doing on the coaching call when we get to an hour when we get to an hour I'm I got to go I got another call uh Tony one more question for you hold on this is an hour call it'd be an hour and 10 minutes now one last thing while I got you listen you don't got me we over the time limit that's what I be saying in my head but I just got to sit there okay all right Tony don't get no attitude now don't tell about yourself now don't let her know she didn't she disrespect you got you way across the hour now so I just sit there I try to answer that question just as fast yep sound good all right great talking to you okay all right see you later all right bye and then I'm gonna tell you about my client that's over 50 oh my good I got a client she over 50 I got several clients over 50 I get a text of the night by 11 o'clock my wife looking at me I'm looking at my wife I say look at the phone I say this my client over 50 I say my clients over 50 is the only clients that texts me I'm like I don't understand it because they didn't even have cell phones when they were coming up so why do they be texting you and my client gonna see this video if she gonna text me lol and then kiki I heard you talk about your video texting me but that's it is it so I just so that's what I try to tell y'all I try to help y'all from a male perspective to level the playing field but I don't understand women I just understand men because I'm a man because I live in a man body and I've been around me in my whole life being a football player and a basketball player my entire life and through college so I understand men and because I don't play every game as a man but I don't really understand women and so I'll be trying to tell y'all that and that's why I tell y'all too when people get mad when I say listen if you want to know about a woman ask your woman if you want to know about a man ask a man then you could cross you know information you could ask other you know but you need to go to the source so that's why I try to I talk about what I know about now let me ask Bre question because Bre could have to pop down late I don't know if a man respects you or resents you when he comes back and that's actually a very great question that's the last question I y'all hold your question and that's a great question and so what you have to realize with this is only time will tell because when you break up with a man some men will every man will resent you and he'll be mad because he says you had the audacity to walk away from me you had the audacity to leave me and so some men will get you back just to dog you out and my wife she's walking around so I don't know if y'all could hit me my wife walking around because she gave my boy the bed but I'm gonna tell you the truth now my wife broke up with me when we were dating she walking around so I'm trying to my wife broke up with me when we were dating when I got her back but I was trying to wow I was trying to I was trying to be nasty because I had resentment because I said oh you want to leave me but then guess what happened so I came back we were living in sin and we'll get intimate my wife is a classy lady she's a conservative lady so she gave your her body to you that's a huge thing for my wife and so when I got her back because she had broke up with me when I got her back oh she walking around she walking she said walk that one so when I got her back what I tried to do was if we got intimate I get up and put my clothes on get up put clothes on all right I'm finna go um yeah so everything good with you and she'll be sitting there looking sick she will huh you're leaving yeah you don't finna go back to my apartment I knew what I was doing I knew what I was doing but I was doing it out of spite let me tell you what happened it lasted probably a week or two and I started to feel bad I started to feel bad because I was like you know what it's a good woman man it's a good woman like she broke up with me because I was a punk because I was controlling like she didn't deserve that and she don't deserve for me to be being petty and me to be trying to you know get back at her and so I started to feel bad and because I saw her worth I saw her value and I say this her wife and this my wife and so that's just me being honest with you now yes I was um I was 21 I was 21 or 22 so immature already and so I say that to say you know it's just what you have to do when you take a man back you got to put up boundaries so that you know still a lot of time what happens is a woman will take a man back and that was the mistake my wife made is we got into the bed when you take this man back it just gotta be courting just phone calls going on dates and a little peck on the forehead little peck on the nose little peck on the lips can't be no tongue kissing can't be no feeling and rubbing on all kind of areas can't be no bedroom action so that way you get to gauge him and kind of watch him and see if he's going to be consistent with his energy his effort and his attitude and if he's going to be consistent now you'll see okay one month he's still consistent two months three months by about six months if he's still consistent and showing love like he has learned he's grown he's truly changed now you could start to kind of ease a little bit a man who coming back with resentment really isn't going to fake it longer than six months some will not you could be an exception to the rule it's it's it's exception to the rule okay can you make a video on women who don't want to have kids no i can't because i'm not a woman and so i don't understand women i don't understand why a woman who don't want don't want to have kids i don't i don't know what that mean i don't know why that'll come about you see what i mean and so that's why i try to tell y'all i understand see what happens is if a person is truly what they call narcissistic if a person is truly that then they want to be that person want to be your end all be all they want to be your everything they want to be who you come to the ask about stocks relationships savings men women they want to be everything well i try to help y'all understand because a lot of time people think that everybody with a platform is a narcissist and that's ignorant that's ignorant see for me i want to stay in my lane and i only speak on what i'm comfortable speaking on what i know about if y'all can ask my members that's in the um growth group uh a young lady she asked about finances and i replied to her i say listen i got the same problem as you so i can't i can't give you no insight on that and because me i don't try to pretend to know something about stuff i don't know nothing about so that's why i say and i and i get it and i appreciate y'all asking me so many questions and a variety of questions and i get it because when you build trust with somebody you want to get that person's opinion on certain things but i also want y'all to understand in my lane i'm quick to tell you that's a therapy question i'm quick to tell you hold on i i just seen my phone say my power beats connected but i ain't got a man here can y'all hear me can y'all hear me because it just said my power beats my wife probably picked up my my beats headphones that's in the room right there and took my sound i don't want to can y'all hear me y'all might can't hear me i seen it pop up say your beats connected my wife probably moved my beats around and connected on my phone she cleaning up one thing about my wife when she go to cleaning up anything if i turn off my blue tool i'm gonna turn off the whole camera turn off this whole live anything in the way when my wife cleaning up is going in the trash oh laptop oh laptop trash oh you watch up trash oh you break it up trash oh you got to see a few dollar up trash like baby when my thing got where you were cleaning i don't know go to the trash i'm like baby can you slow down and and cut off that podcast women killing everybody so you can stop throwing away all my like come on now i got this here watch i'm getting ready to sell this here watch this right here what you call a automar okay this is a automar i'm getting ready to sell i want to sell this automar put me some money in my pocket because they say the value to win up i said baby what more one more box that for my automar i don't know i guarantee you it's one of her cleaning sprees it and winning the trash now ain't nobody gonna believe my watch real you ain't got the box it ain't real hey god bless you because uh god bless i got to go because i'm here to talk about my wife i see my wife out there she moved around she cleaning up i got to go hey god bless you we'll talk soon y'all take care now