 All aboard, club called special, all aboard! It's in our seats to enjoy the March of Events and City Life section of our newspaper. This popular section appears in Hearst Sunday newspapers from coast to coast. It is written by such famous humorists as Will Rogers, Arthur Bugsbear, O.O. McIntyre, Milt Gross, Sam Hellman. Its cartoons are drawn by the brightest and most up-to-the-minute cartoonists of the day. The March of Events and City Life section offers you a million dollars worth of fun and probability. Here we go. The cartoon. Here's one of a man and woman sitting at a reading table in their home. The hour is late and the man seems to be dozing off. I said you dropped your paper. Why don't you go to bed if you're so sleepy? Well, I'm too tired. Well, stop sitting there with your head in your hand. You know you make me nervous. Oh, I see all the stories are having a bargain day tomorrow. I better get downtown early. And look at this. Did you read about that kangaroo with two heads? Henry, are you listening to me? Henry! What did you say? Oh, there you go, dozing off again. That's what you're doing. And right while I was talking to you. Now, do you think that's nice? Henry, you're doing it again. Do you hear me, Henry? Yeah, of course. Oh, what's the matter? Well, will you please wake up long enough to go to sleep? The story of an American who is traveling in Europe. It seems that this man went into a restaurant. And here's what happened. And what else, please? Well, let's see. Now, I'm not terribly hungry. Maybe you'll like a little soup? No, I don't feel much like soup today. I wish I could read your language better. This menu is all Greek to me. That, I fix it. I give you one of the American menus here. Oh, thanks. That's a lot better. Say, this is an American menu, but it's almost as bad as yours. All the dishes are named after movie stars. Yeah, yeah, movie stars, politicians and baseball players, and everyone that is famous. What's a Sally Rand salad? Sally Rand is your famous fan dancer, ain't it? Yes, that's right. Well, you see, the Sally Rand salad is served without dressing. I get it. But you know what I think I'd like to have? What is it, please? Just a plain ordinary Bismarck herring. Ah, that's too bad. The only herring we got is what we call the Huey Long Herring. Huey Long Herring? What is that like? We take out the brain and serve it them out open. How about Club Carl's special next up, Arthur Bugs Bear? How about? Sunday newspapers have been excitedly following the goings-on of a mythical place known as Rufftown. According to its creator, Arthur Bugs Bear, it's a pretty tough little bird. The local heavyweight champion, whose name is What A Man, has been looking for a match and has gotten a line on a guy named Glut, who's the White Hope from the neighboring town of Red Ears. We find What A Man and his manager talking things over. But maybe he's tough. Oh, I ain't worried, nun. He's a pushover for me. Yeah, I ain't so sure. You didn't look so good in that last fight with Bobby Dale. Oh, I ain't worried. Gluttleby duck soup. Well, just the same. I ain't letting you fight nobody's like giving to one's over. I ain't figuring on losing any fights. Didn't I tell you he's a pushover? What are you beefing about? What do you know about it? Did you ever see the guy? Well, I ain't really seen him, but I got a picture of him. You have? Where is it? Right here. Here. Look at that. Gee, he's plenty big. Hey, I think you better lay off for him. Say, that's a funny pose he's got there, ain't it? Does he always pose with his arms straight out from his sides that way? Sure. And his legs spread out like that? Sure. And with his head back? That's right. And his eyes closed? Yeah. Hey, that's a funny background in that picture. What is that background anyway? That's how I know he's a pushover. That's the floor and a ring. First Sunday newspapers, a family. The updacks easily deserve the title of the world's goofiest family. And we're suddenly bitten by the own your own home bug. Today we find cousin Pete, cousin Tinkham and cousin Ella considering the subject from all angles. I see no reason why he shouldn't do it. Neither do I. If cousin Tinkham is tired of enjoying his peace of mind, am I right, think old boy? What makes you think the purchase of my own modest dwelling place will have a disastrous effect on my mental equilibrium? If I remember the statement correct, I merely referred to your peace of mind. I made no mention whatsoever of your mental equilibrium. In fact, I didn't even know you were suffering from it. You should see a doctor at once. Oh, pardon me, but I'm afraid you boys are getting off the track. We were discussing the purchase of a home and not a medical attention. So we were, and I apologize for my digressing. Let me see. Where were we? Personally, I was on the verge of calling up my real estate agent and telling him to send over the papers. That's right. I remember now, and I was on the verge of restraining you from your folly. And just why do you consider it folly for cousin Tinkham to own his own home? For the very simple reason, my dear cousin Ella, that cousin Tinkham has never been blessed with a ne'er-do-well son. I'm afraid that I don't folly you cousin people. What may I ask? Has the lack of a ne'er-do-well son got to do with the subject? Well, for instance, if you had a home of your own, you would also have a mortgage. Very probably. And if you had a mortgage, the sheriff might drop around one day and foreclose. Well, that's possible. Well then, according to the very best fiction on the subject, you need a ne'er-do-well son. What for? To return from Australia and lift the mortgage. All aboard. Next stop, Will Rogers, all aboard. This time, the subject of that very mysterious region above the earth known as the stratosphere. We hear an aviator trying to explain it to an interested woman. It surrounds the earth. You mean it's an entirely separate layer? That's right. You might say that the first layer, the one next to the earth, is like our underclothes. Oh, how interesting. And the stratosphere is a second layer like our outside clothing. Oh, I see what you mean. But I guess you couldn't explain it that way to everybody, could you? Oh, I think practically anyone would understand anything as simple as that. Oh, but how about a muted? Well, maybe you're right. Tell me, how high is the stratosphere? Oh, roughly speaking, it begins about eight miles up. And what's it like up there, huh? Well, I've never been that high myself, but it must be very strange. For one thing, you can't see the earth at all. Oh, my goodness. I guess that's why you never hear of a parachute jumper jumping from the stratosphere. No, you never do, but someday someone may have nerve enough to do it. But I don't see how they could. You know, even if they want to do it. Yeah, how do you mean? Well, you say you can't even see the earth from way, way up there. That's right. Then how would you know which way to jump? Oh, yeah. Club Carl's special next stop, Milk Growth. All aboard. This is his boss. In fact, whatever the boss does, Joe has to do. The other day, Joe heard him talking about a new necktie he bought, so he bought one on the sudden impulse. First time Joe passed a men's clothing shop, he stepped right in and headed for the necktie counter, and that's where we find him right now. Sorry. Certainly, sir. Have you got any particular style in mind? Well, have you got one with polka dots? Right here, sir. How is this one? That's fine. Can I try it on? No, no trouble at all. Just remove the one that you're wearing now. All right, there. This is very simple to put on. Let me show you how it goes. It just snaps right on on your collar button. Just like that. How's that? Gosh, for goodness sakes. What's the matter? Well, it looks kind of funny. Oh, I see what you're doing. It's the shirt that you've got on. It's all wrong for that time. Here, try this shirt on. Try it on over your other one. All right. How's that? Now, look in the mirror. Gosh, for goodness sakes. What's the matter? Well, it still looks kind of funny. It does? Oh, I see what's the matter now. It's your hat. That hat is all wrong without shirt and tie. Oh, is that what it is? Yes, it's not that about it. Now, just let me have that baby of yours and put this straw hat on. All right, if you say so. What do you think of that? Well, if you don't mind, I still think it looks kind of funny. You all right? Oh, now I see what the whole trouble is. There's just one thing spoiling their whole effect. What's that? It's your face. What's that? The Club Car Special has come to the end of another trip on the air. While the journey has been brief, you will find a longer session of fun and nonsense by these same writers and others in the March of Events and City Life section of the Hearst Sunday Newspapers. Think of it, long articles each chuck full of laughs written by the world's leading humorists. No other newspaper presents such a list of names. O. O. McIntyre, Will Rogers, Bugs Bear, Milt Gross, Sam Hellman, and others. There are laugh-provoking cartoons too. Keep up with the best humor of the day just as millions of readers do each Sunday. The Club Car Special, a program built upon the articles of these foremost writers of comedy, will be ready to arrive at your home next week at this same time over the same station. Be sure to meet it and enjoy another 15 minutes of original comedy.