 Just need to show you how weird my dog is. She has done this since she was a puppy. She just eats her back foot I am not kidding you when I tell you that she will literally I've woken up to her like just Just like gnawing on her paw in the middle of the night at least 10 times She is a weird and perfect puppy. Good morning, my beautiful friends So I have a bit of an update for you guys But before we dive in let me preface this with a quick warning if anyone really really Hates like those pimple popping videos, which by the way, I have never watched willingly I'm pretty sure my friends have like shoved it in my face a couple times may not want to watch this video We're not actually popping any pimples, but You'll definitely see the before if you know what I mean So things has has has happened in the past couple days. Here's the situation I think I mentioned to you in a past video that there is a part of my leg that juts out and that We're having problems adjusting the socket because the bone is like really really jutting out on that one part And it's super painful so on and so forth. Well bones don't grow and you would think that I might like Recognize that I would like to give myself some grace and be like hey, I'm still on medications But I'll be honest. I'm really not on that much anymore. And so I can't Use that as a justifiable excuse. I think the reality is sometimes I just don't think very straight We can pretend but like I'm having a blonde moment constantly But I noticed a couple days back that that part of my leg which I will show you in a moment looked a little different It looked bigger than it did before and again like bone bone doesn't grow bones don't grow past a certain age anyways, shall we say and What kind of kept an eye on it and I noticed that had been hurting like a lot more like I couldn't put my liner on in the morning without really like gritting my teeth and just getting through it and Hadn't been wearing my leg because it was hurting way too much had like shooting pain and all kinds of weird stuff And I just watched it and I noticed that there was like ton of fluid around that part of my bones that's a cyst or Something a weird weird something so here's what we're looking at. Here's what's going on Check this out Yeah, that's not normal It's it's hard to really get an idea of what's going on from Just a video But this is not normal and you can tell how big it is and Now it's just colored it. It's like super fluid II Can't really press too hard on it because it hurts obviously something is not quite right here, right guys So what that means is that everything is on hold I was supposed to go in on Thursday and have my whole leg recast it for a new socket and everything But that's not gonna happen because we need to find out what's going on It kind of looks like a cyst, but it could be like a bursa or bursitis It could be a number of different things It's probably just a cyst and it probably just needs to be popped But it's hurting more and more so my friend and fellow amputee who works at the prosthetics place that I go to I always feel like bad Sending her messages because they always feel like I'm overreacting to something and so when I sent her pictures of this I was like, hey, it's your overly concerned friend probably worried about something. There's nothing and Her response was like whoa. Yes something is going on and that has happened More than once where I assume something is nothing and it's it's actually something and I'll like let things go on too long Because I don't want to be over dramatic or like Overly worried. So lesson of the day if you think something is wrong ask the question Well, I just opened the window and it got a lot brighter and I realized What I what I look like I look great guys. That's what we're going with but what I was saying is I think that I'm finding ways to really manage the fact that Setbacks are happening and they're gonna keep happening and I can't control that like I cannot control any outside Factor the only thing I can really control is like my head and my perception and my dog is licking my feet repeatedly My foot not my feet my channeling is footless Joe So I should really like stick to the message here, right? One of my all-time favorite quotes my best friend told it to me years ago Is that all we can control are our actions and our reactions and I would add on to that our perceptions as well So I've added a few things into my day that really Motivate me and help me stay on track and help me not like lose it when things come up that slow down The rest of what I want to be getting on with like walking like getting back to work full-time like training like all different kinds of stuff So yesterday, this is not sponsored by the way like at all I logged on to Skillshare, which is a website I heard from a fellow youtuber and thought you know what I have an hour a day that I could learn something new and I've Been wanting to write for a long time. I used to do it all the time It was therapeutic to me back in the day. So I Haven't been able to get started like I I Try to start writing and then I just feel like it's terrible and then I don't do it But that was a goal I had for this year to actually write to actually write something for real and so I started a workshop on nonfiction writing and Actually started writing. So here are a couple other things that I've been doing to Remind myself that all I can control is myself and that's it. I've been reading a page out of this every day It's called The Daily Stoic. I love the philosophy of stoicism. There's a lot of misconceptions about what stoicism actually is It's not about like being devoid of emotion. It's about feeling emotion But understanding that you have no control outside of yourself and to make wise decisions Outside of that emotion like to not let your feelings rule your life But to still feel your feeling and on top of that I have also been doing these three things So this is a little sketchbook I bought the other day and I'm realizing I really need to redo my nails But I've been trying to draw something every day and I started with a simple little chicken drawing I find that sometimes I start taking art too seriously and I say that in quotes because I don't think that you know art should Ever really be serious. It's a creative process. I think it for me It's something that I always want to be therapeutic And I stopped doing art for like two years because I just killed it because I wanted it to look right all The time instead of just enjoying it. So instead of taking it seriously and trying to make things look professional or great or whatever I'm just having fun. I drew a little Mountain scene. This is somewhere I would really really love to live This is like my ideal house someday not that I want to live in a barn But I mean I think you get the idea as you know for my previous video This is the 2018 bullet journal. So I have definitely been doing a lot of work in here These are all the 2018, you know reflection 2019 preparation that I did and then You know habits I want to change kind of just a brain dump of sorts I really wanted to spend some time like thinking about things I wanted for the future I really realized like there's no reason I should really wait to achieve what I want to achieve and so ideas to start saving more money and Things that I would like to focus on in my health some YouTube specific goals and then a quote I I really like helps me really organize my thoughts and actually do something with my day and keep you know keep on track So as I have been going through the writing workshop I've been taking a lot of notes and then I actually started writing like I just Did it because I find that I often make a lot of you know Excuses is why I shouldn't actually put pen to paper and start writing So instead of doing that last night I spent an hour and I actually just started writing about the day that I walked into surgery All right with that being said now I'm actually going to go do the things that I talk about like taking a shower and and getting dressed now that it's noon because these are my PJs and I haven't even washed my face today, which is a little embarrassing So I'm gonna go take care of myself and bid you guys the font farewell I hope you guys are taking care of yourselves the best that you can and having a lovely Tuesday. Yes, Tuesday I'll talk to you soon. Bye guys. She doesn't quite get the concept of having to drop the tennis ball The tennis ball to be thrown. What do we have here Sadie? You can get it good girl Oh Yeah