 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan as a job as a comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic a new Strategy for dating men over 40. We'll call it new like this like you're looking through binoculars Really quickly. These are my weekend videos. I shoot out on my balcony very similar to the videos I shoot in my private group called midlife love mastery This is a group where we host a teleclass once a month where you can ask me questions directly of Webinar I should say and also we have a private Facebook group where we interact with each other regularly And I shoot videos based on the questions you ask So if you join the group today check out the link below the VIP group post a question I'll answer it for you via video All right I topic a new strategy for dating men over 40 now let me tell you where this video was birthed and I want to differentiate men in their 20s and 30s versus men in their 40s 50s and 60s and one of the differences between men in their 40s 50s and 60s is We come to the table with a lot of life experience or Yeah, life experience. I mean it pretty obvious in other words, you know when you're 20 you're practically a blank sheet of paper Yeah, I mean when you're 24 years old you've only been an adult for a few years in your life whereas Someone in their 40s 50s and 60s they've been in an adult lot longer And with all our adult experience comes all the armor all the crap all that stuff That makes it difficult to really connect with another human being. I know for me personally I'm facing a couple big issues in my own life. Those you know me know. I lost my 19 year old son Connor in 2018 and And it makes it difficult to really connect because I have this almost this inherent Mistrust that someone will leave me right now and I'm saying this I Recognize cognitively that isn't true, but emotionally that feels true Now to make matters worse. I'm a dating a relationship coach and means that I analyze everything I over analyze everything and if you can relate to that I'm gonna say this is one of the differences for folks in their 40s 50s and 60s versus when we're in our 20s and 30s We come to the table with life experience and for many of us The life experience has has had some pain in it and if you can relate please post a comment because you know I know I'm feeling pain and I know many of you are too for a variety of different reasons It doesn't have to be losing a child. It could be for a variety different reasons Recently by the way speaking of Connor. I just want to say I've introduced a new little pet to my repertoire This is salty. This is salty. That's Connor's nickname. His nickname was salty And so I've introduced a new addition to our videos if you watch some previous ones You might have noticed that And so I want to talk about a new strategy and I say new strategy in that We've been so conditioned that men are the leaders of the relationship that they're chivalrous and they know what they're doing And you know if he's not confident, then I don't want to spend two shakes with them You know and and I'm saying this almost a little gruff because I've noticed this Significantly with so many women and why they're frustrated in the dating realm so I want I want to invite everyone to approach dating from a completely new perspective and First I want to take out the genders take out the genders Yes, a man has a penis a woman has a vagina and there are different gender. There are gender differences But at the reality we were all in our soul right here We're all the same We're the same at a soul level So I want to invite you to start looking at dating from a soul perspective and part of that is going to require On some level kind of discarding all the past and enter the process with what's called beginner's mind Beginners mind Now there's a book that I love That I want to talk about today and it's called the untethered soul by Michael Singer the untethered soul by Michael Singer What I love about this book is it's a it's an it's an invitation to reshift thinking to eliminate all that Garbage that gets in the way especially in the way of love So I invite you to start and by the way for those who know me. I'm a big proponent of my own book called What the heck is self-love anyway? See there's my name right there. I wrote this book I'm so proud of it and why I'm bragging about this and why I talk about this in every video because our way to beginners heart is Through loving ourselves and that's my invitation for you Um Hold on a second By the way, I did a podcast called ignorance is blessed and in a way That's what I'm talking about is to be beginner's mind is throw out all the old garbage when it comes to What you think about men what you think about? Relationships and approach it from a different perspective. This is why ladies I'm such a big proponent that you are in charge of your relationship destiny You know, I'm wearing a superhero shirt. It's it's a movie. I watched recently. I love fantastic for but let's just say I was wearing a Wonder Woman shirt That's what I want to invite you to reach into your superpower of who you are on the inside that Wonderful juicy delicious person you are on the inside and Approach the process from beginners mind Because and what I mean by beginners mind also from a dating perspective is look We can always focus on what's wrong, but I want to invite you to focus on what's right? What's right with men because here's the thing Most men are good guys. They are most men are good guys They're just bad daters and just like what I shared with you in my own personal life We're all dealing with something so when we can view someone as a human being and not based on an Expectation of what gender is and men are chivalrous and all you do is lean back and be in your feminine energy And then they will just come claim you because that's how it works. Yeah, that works temporarily But if you really want a soul relationship if you really want a deep juicy relationship Then I want to invite you to go deep yourself and there's another book I want to invite you to read this is a great book if the Buddha dated if the Buddha dated This is taking out the gender Expectations in relationship and looking at a man as a human being and not based on an expectation By the way, ladies women men need to be doing this too. This isn't singular to women. This is absolutely I invite men to do the exact same thing because when we take out the gender expectations Now look it. I'm not suggesting lowering one's standards. I'm not and what I mean by standards I'm not suggesting anyone lower boundaries Okay, I'm here to really invite to is is to look at someone just simply as a human being and by the way look at I Read about five years. No about eight years ago Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote eat pray love said at least here in the United States And I know my audience is all over the world Is that the average American is a narcissistic data and she was talking about women just as much as men Because we kind of have this expectation that we want our best friend our best lover the most financially successful person They're in charge. They're confident all that and yet we don't show up ourselves like that And that's my invitation for you. That's why I'm such a big proponent of my book That's why I I talk about so many different books Because look you can sign up to some five thousand dollar video coaching program and and Learn this or you can spend about a hundred and eighty bucks on 15 different books, okay? Or a dozen books whatever the costs are and really shift your life Now I'm going to say now hiring me as a coach is an investment But what I teach you is something different as a coach what I teach you is how to vet for emotionally available men Emotionally mature men that's one of my gifts and if you're single and looking for love And you want support on getting really crystal clear on who you are and how to vet And by the way, I do this from the perspective of I'm looking at you as a man And I'm noticing your blind spots those places you don't see in your life And this is one of the key areas when I'm talking to a client. I'm noticing the negative patterns Instead of the positive patterns, and that's my invitation for you is to do a deep dive into yourself And approach the relation the dating process with this new strategy Can you do that? Can you do that for me if you can please post a comment below? Is this resonating with you? Please let me know if you have any questions I do my best to read these all because I want to shift perspective. I said this in previous videos I'm your big brother here. I'm doing my best to protect you from the wrong guys and help get you At least in the path of attracting a great guy in your life Do you want a great guy in your life because there are good men out there? But just understand just like even myself and I do a lot of personal development work We're all struggling on some level and I think one of the first things we should do with this new strategy is start with compassion Compassion for oneself and then compassion for others if we can actually be sitting across from someone a date and just have compassion For both of them both people doing at the same time Imagine how much better the dating process will be and it'll be less frustrating. Okay. I hope this is thinking in I hope this is making sense. I hope this is resonating with you And if it is check out the links to a free discovery call with me Check out my group midlife love mastery check out my books and I also have a link to all my recommended books All right, I'm gonna wrap up this videos I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to a friend or a pet or even a stuffed animal and give it a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now