 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilded Sleeve. The Great Gilded Sleeve is brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, makers of the famous pasteurized processed cheese food, Velvita. Velvita is one of the most popular members of the Kraft family of fine foods. It's known to folks everywhere as the cheese food of exceptional nourishment and delightful flavor. Enjoy it often. When you do, you may be sure you are enjoying the finest quality cheese food you can buy. Velvita, made only by Kraft. Grace Tuttle, a schoolteacher, and Throckmorton P. Gilded Sleeve, the water commissioner, have been dating quite regularly and are now a sort of comfortable feeling existing between them. Of course, an eligible bachelor like the Great Gilded Sleeve is always fair game. And today we find our pigeon helping Miss Tuttle shop at Hogan Brothers. I hope you're not tired waiting, Throckmorton. No, no, go right ahead. Of course, if I were paying for all these packages, I'd be tired. Why don't you put them on the counter here while I go over to cosmetics? Good idea, Grace. You're sweet to spend so much time helping me today. Well, just remember, for every hour I spend with you today, you have to spend time and a half with me tonight. I won't be long. All righty. All right, George, I feel real domestic this morning. Out shopping with Grace. Uh-oh. There's Marie Olsen, that new girl in town. She's cute. Hey, but I don't want her to see me now. I better pick up these packages and hold them in front of my face. Oh, hello, Mr. Gilded Sleeve. Too late. Hello, Marie. It's nice to see you. Well, nice seeing you too. I've been wondering what happened to you. Me? After our first date, two weeks ago, you just disappeared. Poof. Oh, I'm still around. You weren't disappointed when you found out I was the sister of Clarence Olsen, were you? You know, no, indeed. Just that I've been busy and you've been busy. Yeah, I imagine. No, I haven't been so busy. No? After all, in a place the size of summer field, there isn't too much to do and not too many to do it with. Zeke, I wonder if she's going to talk until Grace comes back. You're uncomfortable, aren't you? Why don't you put down the packages while we talk? You're out. It isn't the packages. I mean... I understand, Mr. Gilded Sleeve. How's that? You're waiting for a girl. Me? And you'd probably be embarrassed if she came up to find you talking to a strange woman. Oh, no. What's there to be embarrassed about? Perhaps I'd better go look for her. It's getting late. Oh, no, please. I'll be discreet and vanish the way you did two weeks ago. Well, sorry. We don't have more time to talk. Oh, I'm sure there'll be another time. Goodbye, Mr. Gilded Sleeve. Bye-bye. Bye, George. She's quite a charmer. A throb, Morton. Looking for me? Hello, Grace. You were. You were looking in the wrong direction. Well... Wasn't that the girl who's new in town? Marie? Yeah, I mean, a new girl? She's very attractive, isn't she? Oh... She dresses well. I understand she likes you, too. Now, where would you hear that? Her brother told me. That sneaky Olsen. He's just trying to break us up. You worry about Dr. Olsen, and I'll worry about his sister. Oh, Grace, you know I'm true blue. Oh, I'm sure you're true blue, but your face was red when I came up. Hmm. A man can get into trouble and not even try. It's good to be home. I spent most of the day in Hogan Brothers carrying packages. Yeah. Hi, Aunt. Hello, Leroy. Hey, I took a phone call for you a little while ago. Who was it? Oh, see if you can guess. Was it animal, mineral or vegetable? Oh, my goodness. I'll give you a hint. Animal. Or an accent. An accent? Yeah. I'll ask it out for you. Hello? May I please speak to Mr. Gilded Sleeve? Oh. He's not home. May I leave a message? Sure. Let me get a pencil. All right, Leroy. Watch the message. I'm getting to it. Will you please tell Mr. Gilded Sleeve I do not understand my water bill? Leroy, come to the point. She wants you to stop by and explain it to her. She does? That's a strange request. I don't see nothing strange about that. What's this, Birdie? Isn't she the young lady you took out a couple of weeks ago? Well, yes. I bet she can figure out her water bill. What she can't figure out is why the water commissioner didn't come back. She can't forget you, honk, honk. No, Leroy. I can tell by her voice that she was just pining away. It is strange. She didn't mention the water bill when I saw her in Hogan Brothers. She probably ran right home and figured her strategy. Oh. She isn't that interested in me. No. What would she see in you? Oh, wait a minute. Looking back, she did sound a little disappointed that I hadn't been in touch with her. Yeah? And I've heard from reliable sources that she likes me. What reliable source? Well, Miss Tuttle. Your own girl knows it, huh? Ain't that something? Well, I can't help it if an attractive woman takes a fancy to me. How about that? She calls about a water bill and he puffs up like a balloon. Leroy. It's quite amusing the way Grace showed a little jealousy when she saw me talking to Marie in the store. You guillessly admitted your dynamite. If I stopped in Phoebe's and light up a cigar, I wonder if all exploded. Oh, Mr. Guillessly, what can I do for you this morning? You can give me a cigar. Okay, ma'am. You seem to be in a pretty good mood today. Things bubbling at the water work? As a matter of fact, I was about to call in a new customer. Give me one of those aromatic panettellets. My, my. You must be calling on a lady customer. Well, I don't mind telling you. It's Marie Olson. She invited me over to check her water bill. Well, she did. She wanted me to come by last night, but I was too smart for that. Can you call that smart? A Swedish accent and French perfume is a hard combination to resist in Summerfield. If she invited me over to check her water bill, I'd have to call her for her department to put me out. No, Phoebe. You're only joshing, Mr. Guillessly. Why didn't you go last night? I have to play this pretty cagey. Grace saw me talking to her in Hogan Brothers and got a little green eye. You don't say. So I'm going over there during business hours. I happen to know she's a little infatuated with me. She's new in town. It's a compliment to me, in a way, that I'm not going to let go to my head. Oh, my, no. I'm going over there and explain the water bill and get out. Well, that's up to you, of course. I'm not easily influenced by women, Phoebe. Oh, well. I'm not one to be swayed by a pretty face, a soft accent and fancy perfume. Oh, no, I wouldn't say that. Spring's in the air, all right. Listen to those birds. Hello, little birdie. Yeah. Yeah, I told Marie I'd be here at 11 o'clock and it's five minutes two. Shouldn't be early. Oh, well, what the heck? It's good public relations. Come in, Mr. Guillessly. Hello, Marie. Hope I'm not too early. Oh, I've been expecting you. May I take your hat? No, no, I'll just hold it. Can't stay. Have to get back to the office. Oh, I'm sorry. It shouldn't take long to clear up the water bill for you. Oh, that. Sit down, Mr. Guillessly. You but... I explained the water bill to myself. You did? Perhaps I should have called you and saved you the trip. You well... But I said to myself a girl shouldn't keep calling a man. Mr. Guillessly might get the wrong idea. Oh, no. Of course, it's such a lovely day. Perhaps you enjoyed the walk over. You well, I was in a hurry. I came in the car. Oh, you businessmen. You don't take time to live. It's good to walk. I walked from the curb to your door. I even listened to the birds. You can learn much from the birds. I just fed them some breadcrumbs. Well, lucky bird. Come here to the window. I want to show them to you. You? We can sit here on the love seat and watch them. You well. I have been standing up a lot today. I'll raise the window. Now, do you see that little bird on the rose trellis? Oh, yeah. Cute. Do you know what she's doing? She's flirting with the bird in the tree. Well... Now, he's pretending not to notice. He's playing hard to get, like a lot of men. Maybe he'd catch it from another bird if he paid too much attention. Nevertheless, she keeps trying. Now, you see? Now, she's tempting him with crumbs. You're right, George. He is. Why doesn't the big dunce get out and eat them? Perhaps for the same reason you would not come if I invited you to dinner. What? You see, I'm tempting you with crumbs. Will you come to dinner, Mr. Gildersleeve? Me? Well... Unless you've spoken for every night in the week? You're nothing like that, but... I'm anxious to cook for someone. We'll have a leisurely continental dinner. I'll try to make you forget the water department and water bills and business cares. Eh... What night did you have in mind? Tonight. You should take a little time to live. Yeah, I'll be here. I'm no dunce like that bird up in the tree. Mr. Gildersleeve will be back in just a minute. I could start out tonight by just saying I have a wonderful idea for a sandwich. But this sandwich is so special, so delicious and different. I feel as though I ought to say something fancier. Here's all you do. For each sandwich, spread a half of a toasted bun with peanut butter. Cover the peanut butter with a well-drained canned pineapple slice, and cover the pineapple with a husky slice of velvita, Kraft's famous pasteurized processed cheese food. Put the sandwich into a 350-degree oven until the velvita melts, then pull it out quickly and top it with a maraschino cherry. Whether you're fixing them for the family or whipping them up for the guests, you better make plenty. Mark my word, these beauties are so good they'll disappear in no time. The creamy peanut butter, tart sweet pineapple, and the fine, rich yet mild-tasting velvita are a delicious combination. Velvita makes these sandwiches really nourishing, too. Every two-ounce serving of velvita, the amount you put in an average sandwich, gives you more of milk's vital food values than a big eight-ounce glass of milk. Enjoy this cheese food often, especially now, during length. Stop at your grocery's tomorrow and get a two-pound loaf of velvita. Just be sure you get genuine velvita. It's the cheese food of top quality, and it's made only by Kraft. Well, as we said in the beginning, the Great Gilda Sleeve being a bachelor is fair game for the unattached ladies. Right now, two of them are drawing a bead on him. Miss Grace Tuttle is more or less steady, and the attractive newcomer, Miss Marie Olson. We don't know which one will fire first, but he's a dead duck. Mr. Gilda Sleeve, a bachelor's troubles are the best argument for marriage, I know. Oh, Bertie. Oh, dear. When I learn not to come home and tell the family everything. I'm cute. Kill me. Remember those good intentions he had, Bertie? He said, I'm just going to Miss Olson's to explain her water bill. Oh, Leroy. I know she likes me, but I'm true blue to grace. Well, I meant it. But when I got over there, she was so cute talking about the birds. No kidding. She was telling you about the birds and bees? Just the birds, Leroy. A very sophisticated way of inviting me to dinner. All right, Bertie. I guess Miss Olson's accent got you, honk. No, not at all. Just that being with her is, well, an experience. It's like being in another world, going to see a foreign movie. Oh, brother! Miss Gilda Sleeve! Yes, Bertie? Bad news. Oh? Miss Grace Tuttle's on the phone. What's bad news about that? I don't know, but when you're going out with a new girl and your old girl calls, it's not like bad news. Nonsense. Just because I'm going over to Marie's. Hello, Marie. I mean, Grace. Brock Morton, are you trying to tease me? Who was that? Did you say Marie just to upset me? Yes, I did. Well, I probably shouldn't have said anything yesterday when I saw you talking to her. Well, she just came up and started it. I understand. Just because you talked to her doesn't mean you're interested in her. Of course not. Not me. You can trust me, Grace. It hasn't entered my mind not to trust you. I just wanted you to know I was only teasing yesterday. Oh, well, there's a little tease in all of us. Now, what I called about, you were so nice to carry my packages yesterday. I'd like you to come to dinner. Tonight? Well, I was thinking of tomorrow night, but if you'd rather come to that... No, no, no. Tomorrow night's even better. Great. Wouldn't think of upsetting your plans. Tomorrow night, then. You're fine. Thanks for calling, Grace. Bye. I don't know if I should go to Marie's tonight. Grace was so nice. Ah, go on. I'll live in that other world. Cross over the bridge. Sweet nothings to you in those foreign languages. What's she gonna feed you? French pastry or Swedish meatballs? Leroy. Right at the dinner here, I guess I should have brought Marie some flowers. If I had, George, I wouldn't give her any ideas. Listen to that. She's already got ideas. Oh well, like Leroy says, cross over the bridge. I smell something good cooking. Welcome, Mr. Gilles Le Sli. Can I have your hat? Anything you say. What did you say? Come in. Thank you. Say, you've rearranged the furniture, haven't you? A little. Won't you sit down? I see the love seats in front of the fireplace now. Would you prefer having your dinner served here in front of the fireplace? Whatever you say. Of course, your table is all set. Very pretty too. Thank you. But we'll have dinner wherever you like. When a man comes home after a busy day, a woman should make him comfortable. Any way I can help with the dinner, Marie? Oh, you shouldn't help. It is for the woman to prepare the dinner and serve her lord and master. Well, you don't hear that often these days. That's because you American men spoil your women. We do? To a point where they don't appreciate you. Now, wouldn't you like a cigar before dinner? Thank you. Say, how'd you know what brand I smoke? Oh, I observed. May I light it for you? I like that. I love to see a man smoke a cigar. Well, I love to see you love to see me smoke a cigar. Why, that doesn't make sense, Rock Morton. Oh, yes it does. Oh, I called you Rock Morton. There's nothing wrong with that. No use being too formal at a time like this. It's a very musical name. Rock Morton. I hear music when you say it. It has a certain elegance befitting so distinguished a man. Thank you. Excuse me, Rock Morton, let me pull this footstool over to you. A man always likes to prop up his feet. No, Marie, I'm not used to this. Oh, you have been neglected. Now, would you like me to put on some more records? What would you like? I like that stuff you were playing when I came to the door. But let me take care of the record. No, no, no, I'll do it. Well, I could be spinning the records if you have something to do in the kitchen. Everything is arranged, thank you. So that I can devote every minute to you. Is there room for me on the footstool? There's room for you here on the love seat. Thank you. Do you like the music? Music? Oh, yes. Those strings are really crying. To me, they sing of a woman's undying devotion to her man. Eh, it seems to me I've heard birds sing ever since last night. Hello, Pee-Vee. I don't know what you're going to say. Pee-Vee, I had quite an experience last night. What are you doing here, Andy? Marie Yolson. Marie Yolson invited me over to dinner. Did she make you eat your water bill? We didn't talk about water, believe me. Now, does this mean that you're transferring your affections from Miss Tuttle to Miss Olson? Oh, nothing like that, Pee-Vee. Grace is still number one with me. In fact, I'm going there for dinner tonight. Mr. Gildersleeve, you have more fun than anybody. Well, I lived it up last night. Pee-Vee, have you ever eaten canard selvage à la presse? Not did I know of. What is it? That's roast pressed wild duck. The duck was pressed, you say? Yeah, and renew just how to prepare it. Well, Miss Pee-Vee presses my suits, but I don't think she's ever pressed a duck. Pee-Vee, I couldn't lift a finger. She propped my feet in a hassak, played dinner music for me, lit my cigar. By George, I never had so much attention. In fact, she said I was Lord and Master. Don't you believe that? Well, it's the old world idea, and I'm all for it. Like she said, American women don't appreciate their men. That should be pointed out to them. Well, I don't think I'll point it out to Miss Pee-Vee. Well, when I go to Grace's tonight, I'm going to give her a couple of hints about how a man should be treated. Well, I'll see you later this evening, Pee-Vee. I thought you were going to be with Miss Tittle. I am, but Marie was coming into a movie, and I promised I'd meet her here later. Mr. Jones leaves that duck must have been pretty wild. Well, I did get a little carried away. God, what the heck? Grace doesn't like to stay up late. She has school tomorrow. You might say I'm having dinner with Grace and dessert with Marie. How does that sound? It sounds like I should lock up and go with you. I heard to tactfully let Grace know that men appreciate a lot of attention. What's she having for dinner? Corned beef and cabbage? Well, she just doesn't know how my tastes have changed. Hello, Throckmorton. Hello, Grace. I'm a little busy. Do you mind hanging up your coat and hat? Well, no, not at all. Then come on back to the kitchen. Come on back to the kitchen. I have to watch my corned beef. I knew it. Last night I was sitting on a love seat, and tonight I'm sitting in the kitchen. Well, how are things coming? Oh, with a little help. I guess I'll get everything on the table at once. You need help? Oh, darn hot stove. Throckmorton, I wouldn't do this for many people. Well, some girls like to cook. Yeah, well, some girls like to train animals, too. Do you mind whipping the potatoes? Oh, my goodness. Come on, get in the spirit of it. It'll be fun. Here, I'll tie an apron on you. Well, I... Is that too tight? Well, you're actually tickling. This could be fun at that. There you are. Now, may I tie one around you? Well, I'm wearing an apron, thank you. You call that bit of lace an apron? Isn't it sweet? Yeah. Now, here's the bowl and here's the beater, so get busy. Well, I... Grace? Yeah? You could be a little leisurely about this. Dinner on the stove? Don't be silly. So we eat dinner a little late. They do it all the time in Europe. We could go into the parlor and sit down and listen to some music. I have a little radio right here in the kitchen. Do we have to listen in the kitchen? Why not? There's always something good on this station. Can't you find something with violins? Throckmorton, you're so stuffy this evening. But... May I have this dance? Well, I know we were dancing an apron before, but what the heck? Yeah. You know, you're a lot of fun. Yeah, I am. Let's dance out of the kitchen. All right. You know, I was thinking before you came how well we get along. We don't have to be so formal. We both like the same things. Well, I'm beginning to like this. Mr. Peavey, what do you suppose is keeping Mr. Gilder's sleeve? Well, Miss Olsen, that's your question. Why, he said he'd be here no later than 10.30. Well, he should be tomorrow's her school day. Who's school day? Anybody that should go to school. I guess I was just making conversation. Well, I'll give him five more minutes. I should have closed up the pharmacy by now. If he doesn't come, would you mind driving me home? Well, I suppose I could explain that to Mrs. Peavey, but perhaps I should try to get in touch with him. Excuse me, Miss Olsen. Do you think you can? Well, this looks like an emergency. I'll try. Thank you. You know, this is Mr. Peavey. Well, thank you. Tired of trouble you, but is Mr. Gilder's sleeve there? I've located him, Miss Olsen. Oh, wonderful. No, Mr. Gilder's sleeve isn't Mr. Peavey. And there's a party waiting here in the drugstore for you. How's that? You don't see. Very well. Very well. Goodbye, Mr. Gilder's sleeve. Is he coming right away? It seems the Lord and Master has been unavoidably detained. What is he doing? Right now he's washing dishes. Great Gilder's sleeve will be with us again in just 30 seconds. Where your family's nourishment is concerned, don't guess. Be sure. When you're buying cheese food, insist on Velveeta, Kraft's famous pasteurized processed cheese food. Velveeta is good tasting and good for you. Two ounces of Velveeta give you more high-quality protein, more calcium, more phosphorus, as much riboflavin and vitamin A, than a big eight-ounce glass of milk. Keep Velveeta handy now during lent, and always. Remember, Velveeta, the quality cheese food, is made only by Kraft. Good morning, Bertie. Morning, Miss Gilder's sleeve. I got your breakfast ready. Well, first, where's that bottle of hand lotion Marjorie left over here? You got chapped hands? Yeah, I helped Miss Tuttle wash dishes last night. The water commissioner washing dishes? Well, what's wrong with that? Nothing. Except I thought you was leading the continental life. You well. Did I ask you out doing dishes? No, Bertie. Yes, the one night he's the continental man, and the next night he's out doing dishes. You're all right, Bertie. Miss Gilder, see, you know what you are. Bertie, please. You're a continental man doing K-A-P. Oh, good night, folks. The Great Gilder's sleeve is played by Willard Waterman, and is an NBC radio network production. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy Boyle, and is transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Lillian Randolph, Mary Ship, Gladys Holland, and Dick LeGrand. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Gilder's sleeve. Here's the best soup idea in years. Try it. Just prepare a can of condensed tomato soup, as you usually do. Then when the soup is piping hot, stir in the contents of an 8-ounce jar of Kraft's cheese whiz. It's a delicious combination, a creamy perfect blend of your favorite cheese and tomato flavors. Enjoy it as the main part of a lunch or supper, or as an appetizer before dinner. This is just one of dozens of quick tricks you can do with Kraft's golden smooth cheese whiz. Tomorrow, get tomato soup and Kraft's cheese whiz. Now play You Bet Your Life with Groucho Marks on the NBC radio network.