 J-E-L-L-O! The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Kenny Baker, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with, It's All Yours. It seems that every year the Easter Parade gets more and more colorful. And today, when I was watching those gay new hats go by, an old song kept running through my head. The flowers that bloom in the spring, Trella. The flowers that bloom in the spring. Well, I was thinking that for bright color, vivid gaiety, and downright cheerfulness, those flowers haven't a thing on Jello. For Jello's six colors are glowing with beauty and cheer. And Jello's six flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime, are chuck full of delicious, extra-rich goodness, deep and full-bodied and satisfying. That's why Jello desserts are always fun to serve, because you know that everybody will enjoy them. So for bright spring color and refreshing, extra-rich flavor, look for those big red letters on the box. They spell Jello, and Jello spells a treat. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a man who was the sensation of the Easter Parade this morning in his frock coat, white spats, and beanie, Jack Benny. Thank you. Hello again. This is Jack Benny, a page from Esquire Talking. And, Don, you're mistaken. I was not wearing a beanie. That was my derby hat, but the brim blew off. I have more trouble with that hat. I think I'll grow geraniums in it. Uh, anyway, Don, wasn't it grand today? Did you ever see so many people out promonati? It was a lovely sight, Jack, and I thought you looked quite dapper. Thanks. But I noticed you had your polar bear with you. What was the idea of taking Carmichael along? Well, I had it taken. You see, when I left the house this morning, he grabbed a hold of the seat of my pants and refused to let go. What could I do? Well, Jack, supposing he did rip your pants, you could have put on another pair. Don, his grip was a little deeper than that. So I took him along. And you know, Don, there was one time when he embarrassed me something awful. Here we were walking along Hollywood Boulevard. Oh, it was terrible. What happened? Well, just as we got to Grauman's Chinese theater, Carmichael ran into the forecourt and put his footprints in the manager. Oh, I nearly died. Oh, that must have been embarrassing. Was the manager sore about it? Don, where he told us to go is no place for a polar bear. But we didn't let that bother us. We went right along with our stroll. Say, Jack, did you see Phil Harris on the Boulevard this morning? He had on the loudest suit I've ever seen in my life. It was really violent. No, I didn't see him, Don. But I can imagine what Phil's suit was like. You see, he and Rochester have the same tailor. Same tailor? Well, he isn't exactly a tailor. He specializes in beach umbrella. Followed by the name of Neon Cohen. By the way, where is Phil, our new movie star? Oh, he hasn't come in yet. Incidentally, Jack, how's Phil coming along in your picture? Oh, he's all right, Don. But he's getting so conceited. My, you see, it's awfully crowded at Paramount in their short of dressing rooms. So Phil has been changing his clothes in a barrel. In a barrel, well, what's conceited about that? Well, yesterday, he asked him to put a star on it. Not only that, he's got lace curtains over the bunghole. I'll tell you, Don, if he doesn't, oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Happy Easter. Thanks. Say, you look stunning in your new dress. Where'd you get it? Well, don't you remember, Jack? You told me to buy a dress for an Easter present and send you the bill. I said that? When did I ever say that? Two weeks ago, when you were sick in bed with a bad cold? Oh, well, I must have been delirious that night. What else? Now, Mary, that's just taking an unfair advantage. How much did the dress cost? $82.50. Nate! Well, don't sit down in it. It's going back tomorrow. $82.50. I could buy four suits for that. Sure you could. Never mind. You walk up so high to buy a suit, it'll close your ears pop. All right, all right, that's enough. Say, Mary, I saw you on the boulevard this morning. Who was that good-looking fellow you were with? Oh, wasn't he handsome, Don? You know, Jack, while I was strolling along, I met the cutest boy. He's a doll. Oh, I'll bet. How'd you meet him? Well, it was all an accident, really. You see, I was walking down the street and I just happened to drop my handkerchief, and he fixed it up. Oh, you happened to drop it. Yeah. Then I got so nervous, I dropped my gloves. Oh, both of them? No, one at a time. Well, that was some accident. Gee, he's cute. His name is Wendell. Well, that's an adorable name. And he's so smart, Jack. You know, he's a college boy. A college boy? What's he taking up? A chemistry and goal-fake swallowing. Oh, that's a marvelous profession. You know, Mary, you meet the most interesting people, Wendell. What's his last name? Kendall. Oh. Wendell Kendall. The second. That's all he needs. Anyway, Mary, I don't want you to go out with strangers. It isn't nice, and I don't like it. I'll bring him over sometime, Jack. You'll be crazy about it. I can hardly wait. Oh, everybody rise. Here comes His Majesty, the king of the cinema. Hello, Phil. I say, there, old fellow, am I again the nucleus of your disparaging revox? Isn't that awful? Now, look here, Twist. Now, get off your high horse. You're not the only guy that ever made a picture. Guy? My word. Your English is ghastly. Oh, it is all of this. Now, listen, Phil, don't be so high, Bra. I remember you when you led your orchestra with a rolled-up racing form. Now, while I think of it, I wish you wouldn't go around telling people that you're the star of my picture. You're nothing but a stooge, and you know us. Stooge? How can I be a stooge when I did a big love scene yesterday with Dorothy Lamour? Sure you did, but the minute you left the room, who do you think rushed in and kissed her? I did. That's like having stooge prunes after Kreps's death. I'm talking to Phil. I've been in pictures quite a while, Phil, and I don't like to say this, but you have absolutely no screen personality. No personality? What are you talking about? I'm grinning all the time. That's just the way it is. All you can see is teeth. Your mouth looks like an Elk's convention. Fine star. Sure I'm a star. Now, Phil Harris, I'm the star of this picture, so let's forget it. You are not. I am too. You are not. I am too. Boys, boys, ladies and gentlemen, please understand that these two hams are not arguing about Jell-O. It is agreed by all that this passing dessert is not only eatin' out of it, but you are. Oh, you are, eh? Yes, I am. Oh, yes? Yes. I am a star. I am a star. Now, look what you fellas made me do. I'm sorry, Dom, but Phil started it. Now, Phil, let's stop with our personal argument. You've still got a job to do here, so pick up your baton and play something. I'm not using a baton anymore. From now on, I'm going to conduct with my hand like stochastic. Just keep time. That's all I ask. Go ahead, genius. Hold it a second. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes. I'm a little Easter Bunny. Each year I bring you greetings funny. But now I'm in a hurry, so I'll lay my egg in a way I go. Rabbit with no fur. Play. That's so the Orks or boys will know they never look at them, folks. And Phil, I must admit that it's more impressive when you conduct with your hands. Is it really? Yes, that phony diamond of yours shows up much better. What do you mean, phony? This ring cost me $12 on a punch board. Well, if you didn't get a turkey with it, you got Jim. Now, ladies and gentlemen, as our play tonight is rather long, I think we ought to proceed with the casting without further ado. Are we all here? All but me. Oh, hello, Kenny. Why are you so late? Well, we had an Easter egg hunt at our house this morning. I just got through. Oh, an Easter egg hunt, eh? Say, that's fun. Yeah. And you know what, Jack? I found five eggs all by myself. Five eggs? That's marvelous. Where'd you find them? Well, I found one under the sofa, one in back of the clock, and three under a hen. Well, that's some trick finding three eggs under a hen. By the way, that had got four. Oh, that's amazing. Anyway, Kenny, you got here just in time for our play. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, the Benny Bagelbenders will present their version of that popular Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer picture, that drama of life among the nurses in a big city hospital entitled Poor Girls in White. Now, in as much as we are short of the fair sex on this program, Kenny Baker, Don Wilson, and Phil Harris will be nurses. You mean we got to be girls? You said it, sister. Now, Mary, you're going to be a girl, too. Okay, I'll talk in a high voice. That's the idea. Now, I'm going to play the part of Dr. Deschnook, head of the hospital. Why don't you be a girl, too, you sissy? Kenny, I'm casting this play. So, hush up, honey child, let's pappy-slappy till you're happy. Now, this play will go on... You would hit a woman. Quiet. Now, this play will go on immediately after Kenny's song. Go ahead, Kenny. Wait a minute. Hello? Who? Ms. Livingston. Yeah, she's here. Who's calling, please? It is, too, some of my blank business. Oh, yeah? Well, listen here, buddy. Tell me who you are. Oh, give me that phone, Jack. Fresh guy. Candle of all people. I might have guessed it. Uh, what's that, Wendell? Oh, don't mind, Jack. He's got a toothache. I have not. You would if you could. Now, Mary. It's nice of you to call, Wendell. Yes, I'd love to see it tonight. Where'll we go? Oh, my house? There's a spent thrift, if I ever saw it. We've got to eat in the house's ketchup. Why don't you stop at the delicatessen and buy some sandwiches? Oh, you like ketchup. Why don't you ask him to bring his bagpipes? He can play while you're fixing dinner. Oh, shoot. Say, Wendell, after we eat, let's go and see Gunga Dean. He's playing right near my house. What? Okay, see you later. Goodbye. Oh, so he's going to take you to see Gunga Dean, eh? No, he's going to bring the poem over and read it to me. Oh, that'll be ducky. There's nothing like a poem with ketchup. Wendell, Candle, what a name. Sing, Kenny. This is a song by Kenny Baker. And, Kenny, now that your number is over, I'd like to remind you that last Sunday when you were mad, you said you weren't going to sing at all today. I did not. I said I wasn't going to sing good. Well, you did sing good, so ha-ha. I could have done better, so ho-ho. And now, folks, leaving our childhood behind us, we will proceed with tonight's drama, Four Girls in White. And remember, folks, Kenny Down Nurses. Are y'all dressed, girls? Yeah. Are y'all walking, is it all right? Yes, Don, but you've got your skirt on upside down. How else could he get into it? That's right. And, Don, you don't wear a girdle on the outside. Now, the scene of our play... Holy smoke, I feel like a sultan with these bloomers on. Well, pull them up a little, my goodness. Now, the scene of our play... Hey, Jack, where does this go? Kenny, put that down. The scene of our play is the General Hospital in a large American city where Dr. Deschnook is about to give a lecture to his class of student nurses. Curtain. Music. Good morning, students. Good morning. Good morning, Dr. Deschnook. Now, girls, before we begin, you must realize that you are now embarking on a new and important career. It is not an easy one, girls, but in two short years, you will graduate and become full-fledged nurses. Aren't you happy? Aren't you thrilled? Aren't you inspired? Well, as an average girl, I'd say no. Now, fellas, please. Uh, pay attention, girls. I will now call the roll. Marie Livingston. Marie, where are you? Here in the back, Quack. Oh. I didn't see you. Delores Wilson. Here, Doctor. Here, Doctor. Delores, even though you occupy two seats, just answer once. Uh, Phyllis Harris. Here, Doctor, and I know my lessons like anything. That's fine, Phyllis. Now, if you'll just shave before you come to class, everything will be lovely. And pull up those bloomers. Okay. Uh, Peaches Baker. Peaches Baker. Oh, this is silly. I don't want to play. Peaches, I'm going to can you if you don't behave. Oh. Now, girls, we will take up our classwork. Peaches Baker. Yes, Doctor. If you were in the clinic and a little boy came in with tiny red spots all over his face, what would he have? Freckles. No, it's measles, but you were closed. For me, that's perfect. Sit down. Now, Phyllis. Yes, Doc. I want you to tell us the difference between a bunion and a corn. A bunion and a corn? Yes. Well, a bunion is a lump on your foot. Uh-huh. But I don't know what corn is. Not much, you go. And pull up those bloomers. You're... You're next, Marie. Yes, Doctor, to schnuck. Now, tell me, who was Louis Pasteur? A very famous medical scientist. Very good. And where did he do most of his work? At Warner Brothers Studios. That's right, under the name of Paul Muney. Now, Phyllis, name three well-known anesthetics. What's that, Doc? I said name three well-known anesthetics. Gas ether and Joe Lewis. Correct. Gin is good, too. We're not interested in that, you naughty girl. Take that cigar out of your mouth. Now, Peaches Baker. Peaches yet? Now, Peaches, can you tell us what is the world's record for the itch? Seven years. And who recently broke this record? Fred Allen. Right. It's very good, Peaches. No kidding, Doc, does Fred Allen really have the seven-year itch? That ain't gold he's digging for, Miss Harris. Now, let's see. Oh, Doctor, haven't you got a question for me? Yes, Dolores, and it's a real hard one. Yellow, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. Look for the big red letters on the box. Wait till I ask you. Don't be such a psychic. Or so psychic. Well, that's all the questions for today, girls. I'm going to the supply room to get some gauze, and then I'm going to show you how to bandage a broken arm. I'll be back in a second. Has he gone? Yes. Gee, that doctor's an awful flirt. He keeps winking at me all the time. Me, too. I get so embarrassed. What a masher. He's a masher. Last night, he asked me to go to Ocean Park with him. Ocean Park? Oh, I was there Tuesday. I met the cutest plumber. Honest peaches, did you? Yeah, he wanted to marry me, but I told him I was a career girl. Uh, quiet, girls. He's coming back. Well, girls, here I am with the gauze. We will now take up bandaging, but first we need a broken arm. Dolores, break Phyllis' arm. Okay. Ow! Don't be a baby, Phyllis. Now, everybody take this gauze and wrap it around Phyllis' arm. Ready, get set, go! I ain't got a plan! You've used plenty of gauze. We're all finished, doctor. Very good. Good heavens, girls. You've wrapped peaches in there. Give me those scissors. Goodness, you're careless. Peaches, peaches. Where are you? Peek-a-boo! Now, come out here with the rest of us. But you did very well, girls. Now, our next subject. Hey, what about my bandage? Sorry, Phyllis. We're all through bandaging for today. Oh, you are, Ray. What am I going to do with my arm? Well, you're not going to wave it at anybody. That, I know. And pull up your bloomer. Oh, doctor, Dr. D. Schnook. Yes, Miss Pasadena. What is it? There's a patient in your office and he has a sliver in his finger. A sliver? Rush him to the operating room immediately. Yes, sir. And by the way, Miss Pasadena, take off that bathing suit. You're a nurse now. Okay. Well, girls, I've got a real treat for you. I'm going to perform an operation. You can all watch me. All of you, Miss Pasadena. Follow me, girls. We're off to the surgery. Here's the operating room. Tickets, tickets, please. I'm the doctor. I get in for nothing. What about the names? They're nurses. They look like the dead end kids. Hey, curly locks. What? Pull up your bloomers. If I was the lady, I'd slug you. Phyllis, please. He has glasses on. Oh, Miss Pasadena, is the patient ready? Yes, he's right there on the table. Oh, yes, there he is. How do you do, sir? Hello, cleanser. That boy sounds familiar. Now, just relax, old boy. Hey, wait a minute. What am I doing on the table? I'm going to operate on you. Well, take off the eight baller and superstitious. Take it easy. Now, be calm, and I'll have your tonsils out in a jiffy. What tonsils? I only got a sliver in my finger. I've got a special-a-day sliver and tonsils, $75. I don't want my tonsils out. Why not? Well, I open my mouth. It wouldn't look sporty. Never mind that. Lay down. Now, gather around, girls, and watch closely. Hey, what is this? A preview? Now, Ms. Livingston, administer the anesthetic. Okay. And it looks to me like I'm going to have a snappy ether. It's working fine. Now, how do you feel? When my dreamboat comes in. It'll dock in a minute. Do you think the operation will be a success, doctor? I never know, Ms. Livingston. I never know. Oh, sweet mystery of life, I think you got me. A little more ether, Ms. Livingston. Okay, doctor. Good night, everybody. There he goes out like a light. Now for the operation. Hurry, hammy the forceps. Here you are, doctor. Peaches, hammy the scalpel. Here you are, doctor. Phyllis, pull up your broom. Okay, doctor. Now, stand back, everybody. I need room. Peanut, popcorns, and programs. You can't tell a tonsil from an adenoid without a program. Give me one of those. Dolores, stand by with the anesthetic. I'm gonna whack out these tonsils, or my name ain't Dr. D. Snook. Don't forget the sliver, please. Two hours later, the operation is over, and Dr. D. Snook is at the bedside of his patient who's just coming out of the ether. Well, there you are, sir. It's all over. That wasn't so bad, was it? Now, how do you feel? I'm feeling fine, doc. I'm sure I never felt better than my life, and I'm telling you the truth. Good heavens, I changed his dialect. Come on, girls. If you're feeling like buying some new spring clothes and you want your husband in a good humor when you tell him, here's one way to work it. Give him this tempting new dessert for dinner tomorrow night. Make a delicious chocolate cream pie, rich and smooth and satisfying, and amazingly quick and easy to prepare with jello chocolate pudding. All you have to do is make your jello chocolate pudding the same way as always. Follow the simple directions on the package. With only a few minutes cooking, you get creamy chocolate pudding with that old-fashioned homemade goodness, and it makes a perfect pie filling. Just pile it into a crisp brown pie crust covered with a topping of foamy whipped cream or meringue, and you have the grandest chocolate pie that a hungry man ever put a fork to. All three new jello puddings have a smooth texture and a marvelous flavor. There's jello butterscotch pudding, rich with true butterscotch flavor, and there's jello vanilla pudding, delicate and creamy. They're made with fine, wholesome ingredients, and they're just plain mouth-watering good. So ask your grocer tomorrow for jello chocolate butterscotch and vanilla pudding, the real homemade kind. This is the last number of the 28th program in the new jello series, and we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Well, folks, I hope you all like our little play tonight, Four Girls at Wife. Today I want to compliment you on your performance. You were very good. I was good too, wasn't I, Jack? Yes, Phyllis, and pull up your bloomers. Good night, folks. Kenny Baker pairs on the jello program for courtesy of Marvel and the Roy Productions. Heard on the program? Well, it's all yours from stars in your eyes. This is the National Broadjusting Company.