 All right guys, we got our next speaker coming up. His name is Tom Terraro from daygame.com. And he's an executive instructor for them. I've seen a couple of his videos on the internet, YouTube and whatnot. And I love what I saw, really looking forward to hearing his talk. It's his first time speaking at the event. And just so you guys know, he's also the love child of David Cameron and Michael Shoemaker. So we have some royalty on our hands. So let's welcome. Hello, hello, hello. My name's Tom Terraro from daygame.com, not gaygame.com. That's a different website. Some of you are nodding. And usually, I get really energetic and passionate about my job, which is teaching guys the art of day game, which is meeting and attracting women during the day with no bullshit, no lines or routines. Anybody had a day game? Anybody do day game? Beautiful. Wow, full house almost. Great. So you prove a point. I don't really need to explain what day game is or go through the day game basics. So I thought I'd veer off into something a bit global, a bit esoteric, a bit spiritual. And you're all thinking, Jesus Christ, is this going to be a talk on like California and hippy stuff, power of now, just being in the moment, man. Just feel it, baby. Well, no. No, it's not. That's the topic. But when I read into that topic, power of now, has anybody read power of now, air cut toll, awesome book, but very difficult to implement. Really difficult for men especially. I'm a primary school teacher by training. And the boys in my class were the jittery ones, were the nervous ones, the ones where their brains were going 100 miles an hour. So for me to be still, you can see for now, I move around a lot. Usually I move around a lot more. For me to be still and present was almost impossible. But what saved me, what taught me the power of now, to be in the moment, to jump into the moment, was day game. So I'll touch on day game, but more importantly, I want to talk about being present in all aspects of our lives and how ultimately that makes us happy. So the difference between happiness and pleasure. Sound good? Yes, awesome. OK, I won't tell you who I am. You can look it up on daygame.com. But I speak and I teach guys how to meet women during the day. But before I could do that, I had to teach myself day game. I had to come from a place that was very, very nervous, very, very shy, very, very geeky, very, very unsociable. It was quite a painful process, two, three years of going out onto the street pretty much every day, speaking to strangers first indirectly and then directly as Sasha was talking about. So racking up this confidence, racking up my success with women and generally becoming more alive. And this quote sums it up. This is the quote that I had pinned to my bedroom wall for three years. People say what we're seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think this is what we're really seeking. I think what we're seeking is an experience of being alive. Because if you accept like me that life really has no meaning in terms of somebody dictating a meaning, then life can mean whatever you want it to mean. But that causes the problem that we need to feel it. We need to be alive. We need to decide what our purpose is and then we need to feel it. We need to be in the moment. And this man defined it. He didn't define it in a kind of a Californian way, a yoga way, just be in the moment baby way. He's a scientist. He's a professor of psychology in America. He comes from Hungary. And to say his surname, you need to be in the moment anyway. Anybody want to give it a go? Anybody know who this man is? Anybody heard of this man? Michal Graves, we've got a couple. Professor Michal Czikszentmihal. You can just remember it as Czikszentmihal, which is also true. Czikszentmihal. And he wrote the definitive work about 30 years ago and he called it FLOW, the work on how to achieve happiness. So he defined this state that we feel. Now before we kind of unpick it, I just want to know a few people's passions, OK? Because we all have glimpsed flow. Some of us are better than others at flow. And to start, we need to think, when do we feel most in the groove in the moment? So has anybody got a real passion? A real passion where you pretty much dedicate your life to it or you feel completely free in that moment? What's your passion? Yeah, roaming, Mike? I mean, my passion, really, is to actually be successful in business and always have a very social life, preferably with loads of women around me. And at the moment, it's completely opposite, but that is really what I'm aiming for. And it is a goal I'm trying to achieve, but it's just a lack of motivation from preventing me, really. OK, this could really help, because it's going to define what motivation is. So business, women, big motivators. We have one more. Can you be more specific, maybe? Do you do something like, are you a swimmer? My passion is going up mountains. You're a climber? Yeah. Awesome. Are you a winter climber, alpine climber? Everything, any form of going up mountains. Great. Ice. Ice to climb, and I'm going to use a lot of climbing metaphors, and he was fascinated by climbers. So he defines flow as the mental state of operation when a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of real, energised focus. So full involvement, and it creates this magical feeling of spontaneous joy and rapture. Sounds a bit wooly, but even as a kid, I remember, I walked out of my house one day asking us about 10, 11, and I was just hit with a feeling of happiness, a feeling of heroine, a feeling of complete joy. I wasn't masturbating, it was totally for free. Has anybody had that feeling, and it comes for free? Some people only have it once in their lives, some people have it every day, apparently. Awesome. But the unfortunate thing about that is that we can't control it, it just happens. You could be looking out the window and it just happens. Sure, if you've got a newborn child, it could very well happen. If you reach the top of a mountain, it could very well happen. But they come and they go. So we can't rely on that to feel happy, because you might only feel happy once in your life, or when you climb. So let's think, how can we get it? And the professor said that lots of different things give us this flow state. So if you're really, really good at something like snowboarding or skiing or climbing, they always report the same thing. In the zone, in the groove, a loss of awareness, a feeling of joy, may be painful at the time, but looking back on it, a feeling of joy. So these activities are not always pleasant to do, but when you look back on them, they give you ultimate happiness and satisfaction. Certainly for climbing, it's very, very painful. High altitude climbing, it's fucking horrible when you're actually doing it, but when you look back at it, you just feel that pride forever. Musicians always describe this feeling of free flow. Top musicians especially, they're lost in the moment. Better than drugs, better than sex, ultimate happiness. Like I said, I'm a primary school teacher by training. I've taught kids for 10 years, and kids are lucky bastards because they just exist in flow. Flow is most apparent when you're about four, five, six years old. When you don't look back and you don't look forwards, kids are just high. Kids are so fucking lucky. And I was lucky enough to spend my time with kids and feel a little bit of that natural high. So if you want a natural high, become a primary school teacher. Not a secondary school teacher, you'll get hormonal kids. But primary school teaching and things like art, artists always describe this feeling of being in the moment, top artists. They lose track of time, they don't eat, they don't go to the toilet. Somebody said when Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel, he just existed in a state of awe for up to weeks on end. Writing, business can get you into this flow state. So let's define it even more, because it's still woolly. You're still thinking, well, yeah, but how do I get it? How can I cultivate it? In the day game house, we've been watching some cool documentaries recently. And each of these documentaries shows flow. Hands up if you've seen King of Kong. Anybody seen it? It's an awesome documentary that Mark recommended to me. Mark from day game. About these nerds, ultra nerds in the States who compete at Donkey Kong. Sounds proper nerdy, it is proper nerdy, but you watch these guys in their garage all night trying to get to the next level of Donkey Kong. You see the exhilaration and the exaltation on their little faces. And they exist in flow. You know, if we accept that life has no meaning, well, for those guys, that is the meaning. They're completely happy, they're completely satisfied with Donkey Kong. You know, we can laugh at them, but just watch the documentary, watch their faces. Even cooler, even more masculine, you could say, is a documentary on motorbike riding in the Isle of Man. Anybody seen that one on the right? TT motorbike racing, about guys that just go full throttle, many deaths per year in the race. When somebody dies, everybody's like, well, totally cool, you know, he died in flow. Good on him. It's probably the most exhilarating documentary you'll ever see. Again, it starts off nerdy with like biker guys and you think, yeah, not really my cup of tea, but then you see them in flow and you think, fuck, that's the same as the Donkey Kong flow. Maybe that's the same as my business flow. So you're getting a theme already. Climbing, this is a very famous film, touching the void, gripping story of guys stuck in the Peruvian Andes. And this one we watched recently, a big fat guy who swam the Amazon, swam the Amazon and every day he got more and more into flow until he basically lost his mind and carried on swimming and it took him two months to come down from his flow state. He was seeing things, seeing visions. He was in a drug experience. So he really immersed himself into flow. This is the definition of flow. If you only remember one thing, remember this graph and Google this graph or it will be on the video. This is how you can get into flow. This is how he defined it. Down the bottom is your skill level from very low to very, very high. Going up is your challenge level from very low to very high. Let's talk about day game. Who's approached a woman on the street, Sasha style, direct, balls on the line, giving it all, good. So you know the feelings involved with day game. Even night game, any kind of talking to women, that's cool. Let's have a look at it. So when we teach guys on the boot camp, they come to us with pretty low skill or no skill and we send them into high challenge situations. We like to just throw them in the deep end. So go and just stop that girl, give her a compliment, have a chat, try and get her number. Obviously this generates a state of perhaps worry if she's pretty hot or if she's a supermodel, severe anxiety. So these two are typical. And most of the guys that we coach at daygame.com exist in this state during day game. If you get past the anxiety, which is pretty doable, you just have to go out a lot. Maybe up to six months, you have to talk to girls on the street. You get to this stage, which is arousal, not that kind of arousal, excitement. So that's the typical puppy dog scenario. And we get a lot of students on our boot camp who have done a bit of day game and they come to us really, really excited. And these are the guys you see on YouTube doing all the dancing and really excited and doing all the routines and spinning and it looks really cool. But what they're doing is just being excited by challenge and their skill level is medium. This is the magical situation. This is the best of the best. This is where you stand in front of a woman, you're completely present. You don't have lines, you don't have routines, you don't feel fear. You feel excited, but you also feel in another dimension. It sounds cheesy, but you really feel like you're not standing on the street. There's no time, you're not thinking, you're not in the past, you're not in the future, you're present. And when you're present in front of a hot girl, that's all you need to be. You need to be honest and present. So you reach a flow state. There's not many guys I've met that have been in this flow state because it requires a lot of skill level and a lot of challenge. And I would say a year or two years of day game, you'll get this. You might glimpse it day to day because there's like a micro flow. So if you go out and you spend five hours on the street, finally you might move from anxiety to excitement to a bit of flow. And we see it with students on the bootcamp. They just suddenly get in the groove and they approach one girl, get the number, they go into the next girl, get the number, go into the next girl, get an instant date. It's a snowball effect. But the sad thing is they wake up the next morning and they're back down here. There's the macro flow, which is when you just after a few months, maybe a year, you go out, you leave your house and you just feel on. I'll just do questions at the end, all right? Who's heard of Yad from daygame.com? Yad, yeah, cool. Now Yad's favorite word is vibe, yeah? Who's heard Yad saying vibe, baby? Just all you need is vibe, you know? The vibe is beautiful. That's what Yad would say. And I, for ages, I was like, what the hell is he talking about? What is vibe? Yad was saying, Tommy, you need more vibe. Okay, how do I get more vibe? Yeah, just get more vibe, baby, because Yad is self-taught. So what Yad's talking about is flow. Yad exists pretty much day-to-day in a flow state. So he doesn't really need to warm up that much. He hits the street and he flows. Same for Sasha, same for John, same for Andy. Anybody that's done day game for a long time just exists in a state of flow and it's very, very attractive to a woman. Because she can see that you're looking at her and you're in the present. It's like talking to a child. It's very, very intense because it's in the moment. That's what girls mean when they say be yourself. Be your fucking self, but it's a problem because you have to come from here to here to here. These ones down the bottom, we wanna stay away from. We wanna stay away from activities that are low-skill, low-challenge. Unfortunately, watching TV is there. Low-skill, low-challenge. We wanna obviously stay away from worry. This is a nice state to be in, but it's not as good as this one. Can anybody see already that to keep flow, the challenge has to go up and the skill level has to go up? That's the only con with flow. You can't just get flow and then stop. So for anyone good at day game, you need to do harder stuff. You need to keep expanding your circle of fear. You can't just stop and have flow forever. I'm gonna break it down in terms of Mina. Pleasure versus happiness. I was always about pleasure, and if we're honest, most of us are just about pleasure, okay? Having sex, getting high, drinking, eating great stuff. Cool, there's nothing wrong with that, not judging it, but it's a different type of happiness because this is passive. You get it for free, it satisfies you, but then it doesn't satisfy you. You get it straight away, but then you don't look back at it as one of your life's greatest achievements, watching TV, and it's kind of usable and you just throw it away. Whereas the happiness, if you wanna be scientific, you have to work for it, and that's an awesome concept. So happiness is painful. Happiness is something you work for. You need effort, and it doesn't just satisfy you, it inspires you. So about five years ago, I climbed in the French Alps, I climbed Mont Blanc, and it was fucking horrendous. It was horrible. I had a punctured lung, and I didn't wanna carry on, and I don't cope with altitude very well, but I had a French guide who kept slapping me and trying to get the blood flowing, and he was kicking me up the arse, and I sat down, and then he picked me up again, and I sat down, and he picked me up, and he got me to the top. His credit, not mine, he got me to the top. And at the time, it was horrendous, but even 24 hours later, I existed in a state of happiness, and that happiness lasted for, I don't know, almost a year. And when I look back at it now, when I look back at the film and the photos, I feel happy. So I hope you can see that difference. It's a huge difference. To be in flow, you have to work for it, and to be in flow, it might be painful at the time. If you think about going to the gym, might be really painful at the time, but you look back at it, you think amazing. If you run a marathon, it might be horrendous at the time, but that's what gives you lasting satisfaction. Let's go back to day game. These are the things he says you need for flow. You don't need all of them, but these are the characteristics. So I'm thinking of day game. You might wanna think of your business, or climbing, or playing the guitar, going to the gym, whatever you think is your passion. You need this stuff to achieve flow. You have to have clear goals. And men love clear goals, okay? Bad behavior in schools is caused by teachers not being clear with kids, especially with boys. Kids love goals and challenges. If you wanna be high off vibe or flow, they need to be high. Challenge and skill needs to be high. So set yourself really high goals. Define them. For most things, people have defined them already. For day game, pretty easy. What do I want? I want to have phone number. I wanna take on a date. I wanna sleep with her. I wanna make her my girlfriend. Very, very simple goals. That's why day game is so easy to achieve eventual flow. You need to concentrate, obviously. We're so easily distracted as men, as boys. So we need to focus our attention. I know where your attention is. You dirty bastard. She was horrible, actually. So nice legs, but not a nice personality, bless her. But limited field of attention. And we prove this again and again. Like, when I'm coaching a guy, let's say that's the guy. I'm thinking, right, he needs to close. So I'll run up behind him and I'll be signaling to him, close or go on an instant date and he won't see me. Or we've had camera crews. We've had three cameras following us around. And the camera can literally stand next to the girl and she never, ever sees it. Cause she's in flow and you're in flow. Yeah? So you need to concentrate on your activity. This is my favorite one. You will lose a feeling of self-consciousness. So awareness fades just into pure action. Climbing is the best metaphor. Nothing else matters except your finger grips. If you let go, you will die. In this situation, as a beginner, it often feels like that. If you lose the moment, she will walk away, you will feel terrible. But when you're in the zone, nothing else matters. And it's just like being on drugs. It's just like drinking. We say day game, you know, we don't drink in the day, but it's just like being pissed. It's awesome. You just get a high off it. It's amazing. Don't need any alcohol. You get a distorted sense of time. So musicians, climbers, writers, businessmen, athletes, day gamers, you lose track of time. And that's a great feeling cause we all worry about timing. That interaction could actually be five minutes, but it could feel like hours and hours and hours. It's like being in a movie when it all goes well and you take it for coffee and you kiss her. It's all weird. It's all in this weird bubble. He says one of the most important things you need is feedback, which is immediate. Kids respond to this as well. So it's not just a case of giving something a girl. You need to know whether it's right or wrong and it needs to be really, really quick. And the beauty of day game is the girl is your mirror and she's gonna tell you immediately what you're doing wrong. So we always say to students, look at the girl. She is your teacher. She's telling you what you're doing wrong. So if she's giving that weird face, you're too serious. If she's laughing a lot, you're too funny. If she's walking away, it's too intense. So you get feedback from the girl and you can self-correct. So over time day game is kind of self-correct. Having someone there to watch you is much quicker but you can self-correct. That helps with flow. The balance between ability, do you remember the bottom of the graph and challenge the side of the graph needs to be pretty good. So not too easy, not too hard. So climbers would get really bored on an easy route. Climbers would get really tired on a difficult route and there's a sweet spot when you just hit it. So if you're approaching women during the day and you've never done it before, sure maybe don't run up to that super hot model and hope that you're gonna get a number straight away. Because you're probably gonna be overwhelmed with fear. So first of all, deal with the fear, work up to it. We call that state shifting or even start indirect. Do whatever you think you need to go and start talking to women. Obviously the aim is to be authentic, genuine, direct but that's the flow, that's the peak. Really important for me was learning to have a sense of control over what I was doing. Because most of my life was very undirected, wishy-washy, even though I was a teacher I spent my evenings in London just kind of doing shit. Watching TV, maybe having a beer, probably watching a movie. When I discovered day game I suddenly thought right, I've got control over my life because I know that I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna get numbers, I'm gonna go on dates, I'm gonna meet women, I'm gonna meet other guys through this, social circle stuff, gonna start getting a social life. I have a skill, I know how to stop a girl, I know how to get her attracted. I felt, you get like this feeling of a superhero quality about you. It kind of fades after a while. But at the beginning I remember my first year of doing it, it was just awesome, it was a superpower. And you'd say to your mates, watch this, just run after a girl and stop her. Validation, bit egocentric but yeah, it's important as men to have a sense of control over what we do. And obviously you gotta enjoy it, you can't impose flow on somebody. I can't say to you I want you to run a marathon and then next year you're gonna feel happy because you'll probably resist, you'll feel bitter and you'll never have the happiness. So it's gotta be something you choose. So if you accept that life has no meaning in a scientific sense, choose a meaning. That's a massive revelation, just choose a meaning. It doesn't matter what it is really. Although I will come back to the dangers of day game flow, there are a few dangers. So obviously I chose this to get girls and that's a massive motivation for men. Massive motivation, probably the biggest biological motivation, yeah? So without that drive I don't think I would have done any of this stuff, meeting new people, getting more social, changing your fashion, changing your health. Women kick you up the arse, it's awesome. So if you're thinking should I do day game? Yeah, it's gonna change your life because it's so bloody rewarding. Okay, dangers of day game or dangers of any flow activity are that you're gonna become addicted to it. For a time you're definitely gonna become addicted because the feeling of flow that I get from day game or I certainly used to get more from day game is the same as a shot of drugs, you just get high. And you want it again and again and again. So I didn't have it in other areas of my life. So the only way I could get it was to go out every night, I literally went out every night and picked up a new girl, dated her, maybe slept with her, kind of threw her away, got another one, did you see the cycle, the gambler's fallacy? I was stuck in this mode. And it was only quite recently, about four, five months ago, I realized that that's not making me happy. That's just a temporal solution. What I need is flow in other areas of my life. And he says this at the end of the book. You can't just have flow as a tennis player because he interviewed a lot of tennis players and they go home and they're miserable. Or weightlifters go home and they're miserable. What you need is to transfer your whole life into a flow state. So it doesn't matter what the goal is, as long as you set goals that have objectives, rules, you can concentrate, you can become involved and you can get fast feedback. So even if it's just washing the dishes, he's proven this with the study of male students at Harvard. You can achieve flow through washing dishes. He interviewed kitchen porters who were really fucking happy with their lives because they took it as an art and they timed themselves and they saw how clean they could get it. They just immersed themselves in washing dishes. We all like to stereotype work as bad and pleasure as good, but really, we've got to be honest and say that work gives us high flow state. Might not give us ultimate flow state because we haven't really satisfied ourselves with the job, but loads and loads of people report getting flow from their work, especially if it's your business. I know Andy, who's gone from kind of hardcore day game on the street to hardcore business, gets flow from thinking about the business, working on the business. So a computer, a focus of business gives him flow, the same flow that he got on the street. Loads of guys, obviously, you can see my amazing body. Get flow from exercise. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Yes, you can get flow from meditation, power of now, haircut, toe, but it's fucking hard. I only know a few guys and a few girls that have actually said to me they achieve what yoga promises them. You can get glimpses of flow, but long-term flow, long-term happiness, concentrating on nothing, concentrating on the present is really, really hard. So sure, meditation is one way to do it. How long have I got, Anthony? 15, awesome. So I'm gonna give you some practical tips. There's loads of tips on daygame.com for daygame, but I'm gonna give you some daygame tips for flow. And I'll start with short-term flow. That means going out maybe tomorrow. How do I get flow tomorrow? Who's kind of new to daygame? So maybe the anxiety's still there. Cool, on a day-to-day basis, yep. Who's kind of been doing it for six months a year? So it's the excitement phase. Yep, one of our instructors, Sam, loves a bit of daygame. And who's achieved flow from daygame or dating or women? Yeah, awesome, okay. So I'm gonna go with the first one, that we've got a bit of anxiety. And obviously the students that come to us have anxiety. So what we do on the bootcamp is we warm up and Andy calls it state-shifting. A geeky term for just traveling between states. And our state at the moment is this. Look at us, we're just listening, we're static. Maybe we're looking at a computer. So if a hot girl comes in, conversation-y, we're a bit dodgy, yeah? So how we warm up. I go and speak to one of those charity sign-up people. We call them chuggers in London. Just steal their energy and give them some energy. Don't get their number. Don't date them, don't marry them. Go up to anyone. It doesn't matter what she looks like, he looks like. If you want a bit of gay game, whatever. And just have a chat. Be silly, go a bit crazy. Be really high energy. Start the day having a laugh. Go into a shop. This is what Yad does. Go into top shop. See one of those girls that's really bored. You know, she's folding the clothes. Just go around, go and mess with her. Don't get her phone number. Just have a laugh with her. And then you'll notice that you feel a little bit more social. But that's not enough yet. That's not enough to stop the supermodel and get a number. You could try, but you're probably not in flow. So tomorrow, the next stage is to go up to a few people that are stationary. Easier if they're stationary, just to start off with. And just give them a compliment. Again, she doesn't have to be super hot. Maybe she's an old granny. Just say, do you know what? Bit random, you just look very, very nice. Have a nice day. Okay, it's win-win, makes London better. And it makes you better. Makes the old lady better. And surprise, surprise, what do you feel? You feel confident. You feel a little bit more in the zone. You feel a little bit less in your head. You're not thinking about your business or your debts or your health. You're a little bit more in the moment. And then the last thing we do on a bootcamp is just say, okay, it's time to just jump in. Okay, no more deliberating. We could be yak, yak, yakking for ages. Some bootcamps take place in classrooms. We're like, no, just go, just go. Just jump in, fail a bit. It's okay to fail. Just jump in front of the girl, put your balls on the line, be really honest, be in the moment. She might say, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Brush you aside. Next one, straight into the next one. And you'll see that after one hour, two hours, it's usually two to three hours on the bootcamp, they suddenly get in the zone. And we've just got a documentary that's come out and the guy who we met on Saturday, you'll see him in the documentary, it's on YouTube. He's shaking on the Saturday, never approached a girl in the day. Takes him quite a long time to warm up and then he gets one instant date. That means he goes for coffee with his hot girl and he comes back and he's like, just blown away. And then we kick him straight into the next one. He gets another instant date. So we're like, awesome, that's two in a row, that's very rare. Comes back, we film him, he's like, oh, he's buzzing. Kick him, he goes into another girl, third instant date, three in a row. And he's had three cups of coffee, so he's pretty high. That man was in flow. No doubt about it, you see it on the video. Unfortunately, he woke up the next morning, flow had gone. Just to start all over again, but he got it back, got a few numbers. So does that make sense? It's not a complicated procedure to warm up. Even the best of the best, think of a tennis player, they just hit 200 balls against the net and then they go into a match. You can't expect to walk out of your house and be in flow. And you just have to believe me for the next bit, that after four months, six months, one year of dedication, there will be one day when you leave your house and you're just on. And John came up to me, I think it was after we went to Oslo last year. And I was like, John, you're like different, mate. All the girls are just stopping, all of them. And the hotness went up and closure went up and he was dating super hot girls. I was like, what happened, mate, what happened? And he was like, I don't know, I'm just on. I'm just on all the time. And that's a beautiful place to be in. So John kind of, when he goes out, he goes out less now. He's coming on later. He'll show you some of his videos. He goes out less, but he's more in flow. So if you dedicate your life to something, you'll eventually reach that sweet spot. I'm just going to go back to the awesome graph to sum up, there it is. So if you've got approach anxiety, like I said, you're going out tomorrow, maybe you've got worry, anxiety, maybe take down the challenge a little bit. So go and speak to one of those shop girls. The skill is going to just increase by just doing it. So most day gamers I see in London are in this state. And if you ever see a guy, John's going to talk about this. If you see a guy on the street, on Oxford Street, and he's spinning a girl, and he's telling loads of jokes, and he looks a little bit crazy, he looks like a charity sign-up person, you think, yeah, okay, good on you, mate. You're giving day game a go. Your skills pretty high, medium, you know. He's going for the hotties, but he's just too excited. And as John is going to explain, this is a real danger zone for day game, because girls don't really like you being too excited. So there's a big difference between getting from here to here, but this is what we're achieving. This is what we're going for. At Christmas time, I realized that my flow had run out. I woke up and I just didn't feel on. I just didn't feel the motivation. I didn't feel the drive, because I had completed some of the targets I set myself, getting a hot girlfriend, having crazy adventures for two years, teaching guys this stuff. So even though I demo now and I teach on boot camps, I've got a girlfriend, so I would say I exist in my day game here. And at the moment, it's very hard for me to get into flow. So now I've decided to focus on other goals. So getting to self-development, self-improvement, men's coaching, fitness, health, confidence, charisma. These are bigger goals, because I need to switch the goals. Either I go crazy with more day game, I've got a girlfriend, so I don't want to do that. Either I go completely crazy with day game, or I just find other means of flow. And as the book says, you've got to balance your flow. Right, enough yabba-yabba. I'm going to take a couple of questions and then you're going to meet John, and you're going to see John in action in a nice flow state. Yeah, you were waiting. You mentioned how you have to build, you start with a challenge when you're in low skill and then you build up. How much, just kind of in terms of time commitment, how much time do you spend building that up and kind of maintaining or even increasing your skill, like per week or whatever? It's a very good question. Yeah, it's a common question. How long does this skill set take to master and maintain, yeah? Let's be honest, it's not one bootcamp. And it's not one DVD and it's not one book. That's the sad truth of the pickup community, okay? I kind of guess you already know that, yeah? So going on a bootcamp doesn't transform you into flow. What it does is kick you up the arse and it gives you a bit of flow for the day. But the students that do well commit to it for at least four to six months. And me and John are out teaching and we meet guys on the street that were on the bootcamp. And when I, awesome mate, you're still out on the street, that's awesome, how's it going? And he's talking about getting into this getting into this excitable stage. So that could be four to six months, yeah? Like every day? Of three times a week. I did it every day for 365 days in my first year. I was obsessed. I was a man possessed. And I think it was good. I threw everything out of my life like going to the gym and stuff. But I became very good at day game. So you could do it two times a week. It might take you a year. Skill set for like intermediate, being pretty good at day game, reliable, consistent, getting hot girls, I would say is about a year. And then mastery, two years, three years. Yad's been doing it five, six years. Sasha's been doing it. I don't know, how long is Sasha here? Yeah. Still learning, still changing, still evolving. So it's commitment. It's not just gonna happen. Maintaining it. I took a couple of months off. John took a couple of months off around Christmas time. And you come back to it and you find that, yeah, you've got a bit of nerves. You're a little bit excited and intimidated by hot girls. So it took me another couple of weeks. I had to go back into the street and warm up again. But then I got it back. So I think once you've got the day game skill set, it's inside, you just need to keep it going. But if you want to get good at it, you've got to commit to it, just like tennis here or the gym. One more question? Two more questions, awesome. Guy over there. There's a similar concept called mindfulness, which you learned from meditation and Buddhism, which is about being very aware of your internal thoughts and your external sensations. So what do you think about using stuff like that to get into flow more readily in every other aspect of your life? Yes. It is the same state. He's defined it as the same state, but just harder to achieve. Like I said, I would love to be really good at meditation, where I could go into a room every day and have a high skill level, because to be concentrated in a yoga class, to be concentrated on the trainer in your bedroom is an extremely high skill. It might look like a really low skill, but you know if you've tried a bit of yoga and you just try not to think for two minutes, you need to be a fucking yogi, you know? And the challenge is high. So sure, he defines Eastern religions, meditation and yoga right up here. There is no doubt that those people are in flow. You can see it, you know, you've met people who are just transcendent and they exist in flow, the religious leaders, people who do meditation. So if you can do it, I'm really, really jealous. And it's one of my goals now, to get flow through meditation, not drugs, not day game. If you can do it, awesome. Is anybody here really present in yoga? Great, great, because that's a far healthier way. Obviously then, playing video games or being out on the street for six hours every night, you know? One more question. That was a good question. One more question. No? Well, there you go. I hope it's given you something to think about beyond day game and using day game as a path to get into flow. Thank you very much.