 Crime and Punishment. Part 5, Chapter 1. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Michael Robinson. Crime and Punishment. By Fyodor Dostoevsky. Translated by Constance Garnet. Part 5, Chapter 1. The morning that followed the fateful interview with Donia and her mother brought sobering influences to bear on Piotr Petrovich. Intensely unpleasant as it was, he was forced, little by little, to accept as a fact beyond recall what had seemed to him only the day before fantastic and incredible. The black snake of wounded vanity had been gnawing at his heart all night. When he got out of bed, Piotr Petrovich immediately looked in the looking-glass. He was afraid that he had jaundice. However his health seemed unimpaired so far, and looking at his noble, clear-skinned countenance, which had grown fattish of late, Piotr Petrovich, for an instant, was positively comforted in the conviction that he would find another bride, and perhaps even a better one. But coming back to the sense of his present position, he turned aside and spat vigorously, which excited a sarcastic smile in Andrei Semyonovich Lebeziatnikov, the young friend with whom he was staying. That smile Piotr Petrovich noticed, and at once set it down against his young friend's account. He had set down a good many points against him of late. His anger was redoubled when he reflected that he ought not to have told Andrei Semyonovich about the result of yesterday's interview. That was the second mistake he had made in temper, through impulsiveness and irritability. Moreover, all that mourning, one unpleasantness followed another. He even found a hitch awaiting him in his legal case in the Senate. He was particularly irritated by the owner of the flat which had been taken in view of his approaching marriage, and was being redecorated at his own expense. The owner, a rich German tradesman, would not entertain the idea of breaking the contract which had just been signed and insisted on the full forfeit money, though Piotr Petrovich would be giving him back the flat practically redecorated. In the same way the upholsterers refused to return a single ruble of the installment paid for the furniture purchased but not yet removed to the flat. Am I to get married simply for the sake of the furniture? Piotr Petrovich ground his teeth and at the same time once more he had a gleam of desperate hope. Can all that be really so irrevocably over? Is it no use to make another effort? The thought of Dunya sent a voluptuous pang through his heart. He endured anguish at that moment, and if it had been possible to slay Raskolnikov instantly by wishing it, Piotr Petrovich would promptly have uttered the wish. It was my mistake, too, not to have given them money, he thought, as he returned dejectedly to Lebesnyatnikov's room. And why on earth was I such a Jew? It was false economy. I meant to keep them without a penny so that they should turn to me as their providence, and look at them. If I'd spent some fifteen hundred rubles on them for the trousseau and presents on knick-knacks, dressing-cases, jewelry, materials, and all that sort of trash from Knops in the English shop, my position would have been better and stronger. They could not have refused me so easily. They are the sort of people that would feel bound to return money and presents if they broke it off, and they would find it hard to do it, and their conscience would prick them. How can we dismiss a man who has hitherto been so generous and delicate? Hmm! I've made a blunder. And grinding his teeth again Piotr Petrovich called himself a fool. But not aloud, of course. He returned home twice as irritated and angry as before. The preparations for the funeral dinner at Catarina Ivanovna's excited his curiosity as he passed. He had heard about it the day before. He fancied, indeed, that he had been invited, but absorbed in his own cares he had paid no attention. Enquiring of Madame Lipovik's cell, who was busy laying the table while Catarina Ivanovna was away at the cemetery, he heard that the entertainment was to be a great affair, that all the lodgers had been invited, among them some who had not known the dead man, that even Andrei Semyonovich Leveziatnikov was invited, in spite of his previous quarrel with Catarina Ivanovna, that he, Piotr Petrovich, was not only invited, but was eagerly expected as he was the most important of the lodgers. Amalia Ivanovna herself had been invited with great ceremony in spite of the recent unpleasantness, and so she was very busy with preparations and was taking a positive pleasure in them. She was, moreover, dressed up to the nines, all in new black silk, and she was proud of it. All this suggested an idea to Piotr Petrovich, and he went into his room, or rather, Leveziatnikov's, somewhat thoughtful. He had learnt that Raskolnikov was to be one of the guests. Andrei Semyonovich had been at home all the morning. The attitude of Piotr Petrovich to this gentleman was strange, though perhaps natural. Piotr Petrovich had despised and hated him from the day he came to stay with him, and at the same time he seemed somewhat afraid of him. He had not come to stay with him, on his arrival in Petersburg, simply from Parsimony, though that had been perhaps his chief object. He had heard of Andrei Semyonovich, who had once been his ward, as a leading young progressive who was taking an important part in certain interesting circles, the doings of which were alleged in the provinces. It had impressed Piotr Petrovich. These powerful, omniscient circles, who despised everyone and showed everyone up, had long inspired in him a peculiar but quite vague alarm. He had not, of course, been able to form even an approximate notion of what they meant. He, like everyone, had heard that there were, especially in Petersburg, progressives of some sort, nihilists and so on, and, like many people, he exaggerated and distorted the significance of those words to an absurd degree. What for many years passed he had feared more than anything was being shown up. And this was the chief ground for his continual uneasiness at the thought of transferring his business to Petersburg. He was afraid of this as little children are sometimes panic-stricken. Some years before, when he was just entering on his own career, he had come upon two cases in which rather important personages in the province, patrons of his, had been cruelly shown up. One instance had ended in great scandal for the person attacked, and the other had very nearly ended in serious trouble. For this reason, Piotr Petrovich intended to go into the subject as soon as he reached Petersburg and, if necessary, to anticipate contingencies by seeking the favour of our younger generation. He relied on Andrei Semyonovich for this, and before his visit to Raskolnikov he had succeeded in picking up some current phrases. He soon discovered that Andrei Semyonovich was a commonplace simpleton, but that by no means reassured Piotr Petrovich. Even if he had been certain that all the progressives were fools like him, it would not have elayed his uneasiness. All the doctrines, the ideas, the systems with which Andrei Semyonovich pestered him had no interest for him. He had his own object. He simply wanted to find out at once what was happening here. Had these people any power or not? Had he anything to fear from them? Would they expose any enterprise of his? And what precisely was now the object of their attacks? Could he somehow make up to them and get round them if they really were powerful? Was this the thing to do or not? Couldn't he gain something through them? In fact hundreds of questions presented themselves. Andrei Semyonovich was an anemic, scruffulous little man, with strangely flaxen mutton-chop whiskers of which he was very proud. He was a clerk and had almost always something wrong with his eyes. He was rather soft-hearted, but self-confident, and sometimes extremely conceited in speech, which had an absurd effect in Congress with his little figure. He was one of the lodgers most respected by Amalia Ivanovna, for he did not get drunk and paid regularly for his lodgings. Andrei Semyonovich really was rather stupid. He attached himself to the cause of progress and, our younger generation, from enthusiasm. He was one of the numerous and varied legion of dullards, of half-animate abortions, conceited, half-educated coxcombs, who attached themselves to the idea most in fashion, only to vulgarize it, and who caricature every cause they serve, however sincerely. Though Lebeziatnikov was so good-natured, he too was beginning to dislike Piotr Petrovich. This happened on both sides unconsciously. However simple Andrei Semyonovich might be, he began to see that Piotr Petrovich was duping him and secretly despising him, and that he was not the right sort of man. He had tried expounding to him the system of foyer and the Darwinian theory, but of late Piotr Petrovich began to listen too sarcastically and even to be rude. The fact was he had begun instinctively to guess that Lebeziatnikov was not merely a commonplace simpleton, but perhaps a liar, too, and that he had no connections of any consequence even in his own circle, but had simply picked things up third hand, and that very likely he did not even know much about his own work of propaganda, for he was in too great a muddle. A fine person he would be to show anyone up. It must be noted, by the way, that Piotr Petrovich had during those ten days eagerly accepted the strangest praise from Andrei Semyonovich. He had not protested, for instance, when Andrei Semyonovich belodded him for being ready to contribute to the establishment of the new commune, or to abstain from christening his future children, or to acquiesce if Donia were to take a lover a month after marriage and so on. Piotr Petrovich so enjoyed hearing his own praises that he did not disdain even such virtues when they were attributed to him. Piotr Petrovich had had occasion that morning to realize some five percent bonds, and now he sat down to the table and counted over bundles of notes. Andrei Semyonovich, who hardly ever had any money, walked about the room pretending to himself to look at all those banknotes within difference and even contempt. Nothing would have convinced Piotr Petrovich that Andrei Semyonovich could really look on the money and moved, and the latter, on his side, kept thinking bitterly that Piotr Petrovich was capable of entertaining such an idea about him and was, perhaps, glad of the opportunity of teasing his young friend by reminding him of his inferiority and the great difference between them. He found him incredibly inattentive and irritable, though he, Andrei Semyonovich, began enlarging on his favorite subject the foundation of a new special commune. The brief remarks that dropped from Piotr Petrovich between the clicking of the beads on the reckoning frame betrayed unmistakable and discourteous irony. But the humane Andrei Semyonovich ascribed Piotr Petrovich's ill-humor to his recent breach with Donya, and he was burning with impatience to discourse on that theme. He had something progressive to say on the subject, which might console his worthy friend and could not fail to promote his development. There is some sort of festivity being prepared at that at the widows, isn't there? Piotr Petrovich asked suddenly, interrupting Andrei Semyonovich at the most interesting passage. Why, don't you know? Why, I was telling you last night what I think about all such ceremonies, and she invited you too, I heard. You were talking to her yesterday. I should never have expected that beggarly fool would have spent on this feast all the money she got from that other fool Raskolnikov. I was surprised, just now, as I came through at the preparations there, the wines. Several people are invited. It's beyond everything, continued Piotr Petrovich, who seemed to have some object in pursuing the conversation. What? You say I am asked to? When was that? I don't remember, but I shan't go. Why should I? I only said a word to her in passing yesterday of the possibility of her obtaining a year's salary as a destitute widow of a government clerk. I suppose she has invited me on that account, hasn't she? I should think not. After giving her a thrashing, you might well hesitate. Who thrashed? Whom? cried Lebeziatnikov, flustered and blushing. Why, you thrashed Katerina Ivanovna a month ago, I heard so yesterday, so that's what your convictions amount to. And the woman questioned too, wasn't quite sound, he-he-he. And Piotr Petrovich, as though comforted, went back to clicking his beads. It's all slander and nonsense, cried Lebeziatnikov, who is always afraid of illusions to the subject. It was not like that at all. It was quite different. You've heard it wrong. It's a libel. I was simply defending myself. She rushed at me first with her nails. She pulled out all my whiskers. It's permissible for anyone, I should hope, to defend himself, and I never allow anyone to use violence to me on principle, for it's an act of despotism. What was I to do? I simply pushed her back. He-he-he. Luzin went on, laughing maliciously. You keep on like that because you are out of humor yourself. But that's nonsense, and it has nothing, nothing, whatever to do with the woman questioned. You don't understand. I used to think, indeed, that if women are equal to men in all respects, even in strength, as is maintained now, there ought to be equality in that, too. Of course I reflected afterwards that such a question ought not really to arise, for there ought not to be fighting, and in the future society fighting is unthinkable, and that it would be a queer thing to seek for equality in fighting. I am not so stupid. Though, of course, there is fighting. There won't be later, but at present there is confounded how muddled one gets with you. It's not on that account that I am not going. I am not going on principle. Not to take part in the revolting convention of memorial dinners. That's why. Though, of course, one might go to laugh at it. I am sorry there won't be any priests at it. I should certainly go if there were. Then you would sit down at another man's table and insult it and those who invited you. Eh? Certainly not insult, but protest. I should do it with a good object. I might indirectly assist the cause of enlightenment and propaganda. It's a duty of every man to work for enlightenment and propaganda, and the more harshly perhaps the better. I might drop a seed, an idea, and something might grow up from that seed. How should I be insulting them? They might be offended at first, but afterwards they'd see I'd done them a service. You know, Terebyeva, who is in the community now, was blamed because when she left her family and devoted herself, she wrote to her father and mother that she wouldn't go on living conventionally and was entering on a free marriage, and it was said that that was too harsh, that she might have spared them and have written more kindly. I think that's all nonsense, and there's no need of softness. On the contrary, what's wanted is protest. Varence had been married seven years. She abandoned her two children. She told her husband straight out in a letter. I have realized that I cannot be happy with you. I can never forgive you that you have deceived me by concealing for me that there is another organization of society by means of the communities. I have only lately learned it from a great hearted man to whom I have given myself and with whom I am establishing a community. I speak plainly because I consider it dishonest to deceive you. Do as you think best. Do not hope to get me back. You are too late. I hope you will be happy. That's how letters like that ought to be written. Is that Terebyva, the one you said, had made a third free marriage? No, it's only the second, really, but what if it were the fourth? What if it were the fifteenth? That's all nonsense. And if ever I regretted the death of my father and mother, it is now, and I sometimes think if my parents were living what a protest I would have aimed at them. I would have done something on purpose. I would have shown them. I would have astonished them. I am really sorry there is no one. To surprise? He he! Well, be that as you will, Piotr Petrovich interrupted, but tell me this. Do you know the dead man's daughter, the delicate looking little thing? It's true what they say about her, isn't it? What of it? I think, that is, it is my own personal conviction that this is the normal condition of women. Why not? I mean, Distinguance. In our present society it is not altogether normal because it is compulsory, but in the future society it will be perfectly normal because it will be voluntary. Even as it is, she was quite right. She was suffering, and that was her asset, so to speak, her capital, which she had a perfect right to dispose of. Of course, in the future society there will be no need of assets, but her part will have another significance, rational and in harmony with her environment. As to Sofia Semyonovna, personally I regard her action as a vigorous protest against the organization of society, and I respect her deeply for it. I rejoice indeed when I look at her. I was told that you got her turned out of these lodgings. Levesyatnikov was enraged. That's another slander, he yelled. It was not so at all. That was all Katerina Ivanovna's invention, for she did not understand, and I never made love to Sofia Semyonovna. I was simply developing her, entirely disinterestedly, trying to rouse her to protest. All I wanted was her protest, and Sofia Semyonovna could not have remained here anyway. Have you asked her to join your community? You keep on laughing and very inappropriately allow me to tell you. You don't understand. There is no such role in a community. The community is established that there should be no such roles. In a community such a role is essentially transformed, and what is stupid here is sensible there. What under present conditions is unnatural becomes perfectly natural in the community. It all depends on the environment. It's all the environment, and man himself is nothing. And I am on good terms with Sofia Semyonovna to this day, which is a proof that she never regarded me as having wronged her. I am trying now to attract her to the community, but on quite, quite a different footing. What are you laughing at? We are trying to establish a community of our own, a special one on a broader basis. We have gone further in our convictions. We reject more. And meanwhile I am still developing Sofia Semyonovna. She has a beautiful, beautiful character. And you take advantage of her fine character, eh? Hee hee. No, no. Oh, no. On the contrary. Oh, on the contrary. Hee hee. A queer thing to say. Believe me, why should I disguise it? In fact, I feel it strange myself how timid, chaste, and modern she is with me. And you, of course, are developing her. Hee hee. Trying to prove to her that all that modesty is nonsense? Not at all. Not at all. How coarsely. How stupidly, excuse me saying so, you misunderstand the word development. Good heavens, how crude you still are! We are striving for the freedom of women, and you have only one idea in your head. Setting aside the general question of chastity and feminine modesty as useless in themselves, and indeed prejudices, I fully accept her chastity with me, because that's for her to decide. Of course, if she were to tell me herself that she wanted me, I should thank myself very lucky, because I like the girl very much, but as it is, no one has ever treated her more courteously than I, with more respect for her dignity. I wait in hopes. That's all. You can much better make her a present of something. I bet you never thought of that. You don't understand, as I've told you already. Of course she is in such a position, but it's another question, quite another question. You simply despise her. Seeing a fact which you mistakenly considered deserving of contempt, you refuse to take a humane view of a fellow creature. You don't know what a character she is. I am only sorry that of late she has quite given up reading and borrowing books. I used to lend them to her. I am sorry too that with all the energy and resolution in protesting, which she has already shown once, she has little self-reliance, little, so to say, independence so as to break free from certain prejudices and certain foolish ideas. Yet she thoroughly understands some questions, for instance, about kissing of hands, that is, that it's an insult to a woman for a man to kiss her hand, because it's a sign of inequality. We had a debate about it, and I described it to her. She listened attentively to an account of the workmen's associations in France, too. Now I am explaining the question of coming into the room in the future society. And what's that, pray? We had a debate lately on the question. Has a member of the community the right to enter another member's room, whether man or woman, at any time? And we decided that he has. It might be an inconvenient moment. You are always thinking of something unpleasant, he cried with aversion, too. How vexed I am that when I was expounding our system I referred prematurely to the question of personal privacy. It's always a stumbling block to people like you. They turn it into ridicule before they understand it, and how proud they are of it, too. Too! I've often maintained that that question should not be approached by a novice till he has a firm faith in the system. And tell me, please, what do you find so shameful even in cesspools? I should be the first to be ready to clean out any cesspool you like. And it's not a question of self-sacrifice. It's simply work, honorable, useful work, which is as good as any other and much better than the work of a Raphael and a Pushkin because it is more useful. And more honorable, more honorable, he he he. What do you mean by more honorable? I don't understand such expressions to describe human activity. More honorable. Nobler. All those are old-fashioned prejudices which I reject. Everything which is of use to mankind is honorable. I only understand one word, useful. You can snigger as much as you like, but that's so. Peter Petrovich laughed heartily. He had finished counting the money and was putting it away. But some of the notes he left on the table, the cesspool question had already been a subject of dispute between them. What was absurd was that it made Levisiatnikov really angry, while it amused Luzin, and at that moment he particularly wanted to anger his young friend. It's your ill luck yesterday that makes you so ill-humored and annoying, blurted out Levisiatnikov, who in spite of his independence and his protests, did not venture to oppose Peter Petrovich and still behaved to him with some of the respect habitual in earlier years. You'd better tell me this, Peter Petrovich, interrupted with haughty displeasure. Can you—or rather, are you really friendly enough with that young person to ask her to step in here for a minute? I think they've all come back from the cemetery. I heard the sound of steps. I want to see her, that young person. What for? Levisiatnikov asked with surprise. Ah, I want to. I am leaving here to-day or to-morrow, and therefore I wanted to speak to her about. However, you may be present during the interview. It's better you should be, indeed, for there's no knowing what you might imagine. I shan't imagine anything. I only asked, and, if you've anything to say to her, nothing is easier than to call her in. I'll go directly, and you may be sure I won't be in your way. Five minutes later Levisiatnikov came in with Sonia. She came in very much surprised and overcome with shyness, as usual. She was always shy in such circumstances, and was always afraid of new people. She had been as a child and was even more so now. Piotr Petrovich met her politely and affably, but with a certain shade of bantering familiarity which, in his opinion, was suitable for a man of his respectability and weight in dealing with a creature so young and so interesting as she. He aced into reassure her, and made her sit down facing him at the table. Sonia sat down, looked about her, at Levisiatnikov, at the notes lying on the table, and then again at Piotr Petrovich, and her eyes remained riveted on him. Levisiatnikov was moving to the door. Piotr Petrovich signed to Sonia to remain seated and stop Levisiatnikov. Is Raskolnikov in there? Has he come? He asked him in a whisper. Raskolnikov? Yes. Why? Yes, he is there. I saw him just come in. Why? Well, I particularly beg you to remain here with us and not to leave me alone with this young woman. I only want a few words with her, but God knows what they may make of it. I shouldn't like Raskolnikov to repeat anything. You understand what I mean. I understand Levisiatnikov saw the point. Yes, you are right. Of course I am convinced personally that you have no reason to be uneasy, but still, you are right. Certainly I'll stay. I'll stand here at the window and not be in your way. I think you are right. Piotr Petrovich returned to the sofa, sat down opposite Sonia, looked attentively at her, and assumed an extremely dignified, even severe expression, as much as to say, Don't you make any mistake, madam? Sonia was overwhelmed with embarrassment. In the first place, Sofia Semyanovna, will you make my excuses to your respected mama? That's right, isn't it? Katerina Ivanovna stands in the place of a mother to you? Piotr Petrovich began with great dignity, though affably. It was evident that his intentions were friendly. Quite so, yes, the place of a mother. Sonia answered timidly and hurriedly. Then will you make my apologies to her? Through inevitable circumstances I am forced to be absent and shall not be at the dinner in spite of your mama's kind invitation. Yes, I'll tell her at once, and Sonia hastily jumped up from her seat. Wait, that's not all! Piotr Petrovich detained her, smiling at her in simplicity and ignorance of good manners. And you know me little, my dear Sofia Semyanovna, if you suppose I would have ventured to trouble a person like you for a matter of so little consequence affecting myself only, I have another object. Sonia sat down hurriedly. Her eyes rested again for an instant on the gray and rainbow-colored notes that remained on the table, but she quickly looked away and fixed her eyes on Piotr Petrovich. She felt it horribly and decorous, especially for her, to look at another person's money. She stared at the gold eyeglass which Piotr Petrovich held in his left hand and at the massive and extremely handsome ring with a yellow stone on his middle finger. But suddenly she looked away and, not knowing where to turn, ended by staring Piotr Petrovich again straight in the face. After a pause of still greater dignity he continued. I chanced, yesterday, in passing, to exchange a couple of words with Katerina Ivanovna, poor woman. That was sufficient to enable me to ascertain that she is in a position preternatural, if one may so express it. Yes, preternatural, Sonia hurriedly assented. Or it would be simpler and more comprehensible to say, ill? Yes, simpler and more compreh- yes, ill. Quite so. So then from a feeling of humanity, and so to speak compassion, I should be glad to be of service to her in any way for seeing her unfortunate position. I believe the whole of this poverty-stricken family depends now entirely on you? Allow me to ask Sonia Rose to her feet. Did you say something to her yesterday of the possibility of a pension, because she told me you had undertaken to get her one. Was that true? Not in the slightest. And indeed it's an absurdity. I merely hinted at her obtaining temporary assistance as the widow of an official who had died in the service. If only she has patronage. But apparently your late parent had not served his full term and had not indeed been in the service at all of late. In fact, if there could be any hope it would be very ephemeral, because there would be no claim for assistance in that case far from it. And she is dreaming of a pension already. He he he! A go-ahead lady. Yes, she is, for she is credulous and good-hearted, and she believes everything from the goodness of her heart, and she is like that. Yes, you must excuse her, said Sonia, and again she got up to go. But you haven't heard what I have to say. No, I haven't heard, muttered Sonia. Then sit down. She was terribly confused. She sat down again a third time. Seeing her position with her unfortunate little ones, I should be glad, as I have said before, so far as lies in my power to be of service, that is, so far as is in my power, not more. One might, for instance, get up a subscription for her, or a lottery, something of the sort, such as is always arranged in such cases by friends, or even outsiders, desirous of assisting people. It was of that I intended to speak to you. It might be done. Yes, yes. God will repay you for it, faltered Sonia, gazing intently at Piotr Petrovich. It might be, but we will talk of it later. We might begin it to-day. We will talk it over this evening, and lay the foundation, so to speak. Come to me at seven o'clock. Mr. Lebsiantnikov? I hope will assist us. But there is one circumstance of which I ought to warn you beforehand, and for which I venture to trouble you, Sophia Sumyanovna, to come here. In my opinion money cannot be. Indeed, it's unsafe to put it into Katerina Ivanovna's own hands. The dinner to-day is a proof of that. Though she is not, so to speak, a crust of bread for to-morrow, and, well, boots or shoes or anything, she is bought to-day Jamaica rum, and even, I believe, Madeira and coffee. I saw it as I passed through. Tomorrow it will all fall upon you again. They won't have a crust of bread. It's absurd, really, and so, to my thinking, a subscription ought to be raised, so that the unhappy widow should not know of the money, but only you, for instance. Am I right? I don't know. This is only to-day, once in her life. She was so anxious to do honour, to celebrate the memory, and she is very sensible, but- Just as you think, and I shall be very, very- They will all be, and God will reward, and the orphans- Sonia burst into tears. Very well, then, keep it in mind, and now will you accept, for the benefit of your relation, the small sum that I am able to spare from me personally. I'm very anxious that my name should not be mentioned in connection with it. Here. Having, so to speak, anxieties of my own, I cannot do more. And Piotr Petrovich held out to Sonia a tin-rubble note, carefully unfolded. Sonia took it, flushed crimson, jumped up, muttered something, and began taking leave. Piotr Petrovich accompanied her ceremoniously to the door. She got out of the room at last, agitated and distressed, and returned to Katerina Ivanovna, overwhelmed with confusion. All this time Levziatnikovid stood at the window or walked about the room, anxious not to interrupt the conversation, when Sonia had gone he walked up to Piotr Petrovich and solemnly held out his hand. I heard and saw everything, he said, laying stress on the last verb. That is honourable. I mean to say, it's humane. You want to avoid gratitude. I saw, and although I cannot, I confess in principle sympathise with private charity, for it not only fails to eradicate the evil but even promotes it, yet I must admit that I saw your action with pleasure. Yes, yes, I like it. That's all nonsense, muttered Piotr Petrovich, somewhat disconcerted, looking carefully at Levziatnikov. No, it's not nonsense. A man who has suffered distress and annoyance as you did yesterday, and who yet can sympathise with the misery of others such a man, even though he is making a social mistake, is still deserving of respect. I did not expect it, indeed, of you, Piotr Petrovich, especially, as according to your ideas. Oh, what a drawback your ideas are to you! How distressed you are, for instance, by your ill luck yesterday! cried the simple-hearted Levziatnikov, who felt a return of affection for Piotr Petrovich. And what do you want with marriage, with legal marriage, my dear noble Piotr Petrovich? Why do you cling to this legality of marriage? Well, you may beat me if you like, but I am glad, positively glad it hasn't come off, that you are free, that you are not quite lost for humanity. You see, I've spoken my mind. Because I don't want in your free marriage to be made a fool of and to bring up another man's children, that's why I want legal marriage. Luzin replied in order to make some answer. He seemed preoccupied by something. Children? You refer to children, Levziatnikov started off like a war-horse at the trumpet-call. Children are a social question, and a question of first importance, I agree, but the question of children has another solution. Some refused to have children altogether, because they suggest the institution of the family. We'll speak of children later, but now, as to the question of honour, I confess that's my weak point. That horrid, military, pushkin expression is unthinkable in the dictionary of the future. What does it mean, indeed? It's nonsense. There will be no deception in a free marriage. That is only the natural consequence of a legal marriage, so to say, it's corrective, a protest. So that, indeed, it's not humiliating. And if I ever, to suppose an absurdity, were to be legally married, I should be positively glad of it. I should say to my wife, My dear! Hitherto I have loved you. Now I respect you. For you've shown you can protest. You laugh. That's because you are of incapable of getting away from prejudices. Confound it all. I understand now where the unpleasantness is of being deceived in a legal marriage, but it's simply a despicable consequence of a despicable position in which both are humiliated. When the deception is open, as in a free marriage, then it does not exist. It's unthinkable. Your wife will only prove how she respects you by considering you incapable of opposing her happiness and avenging yourself on her for her new husband. Damn it all. I sometimes dream, if I were to be married, I mean if I were to marry legally or not. It's just the same. I should present my wife with a lover if she had not found one for herself. My dear! I should say I love you, but even more than that I desire you to respect me. See? Am I not right? Peter Petrovich sniggered as he listened, but without much merriment. He hardly heard it, indeed. He was preoccupied with something else. And even Levizeyatnikov at last noticed it. Peter Petrovich seemed excited and rubbed his hands. Levizeyatnikov remembered all this and reflected upon it afterwards. By Fyodor Dostoevsky This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Father Zeile of Detroit, Michigan, May 2008 Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky Translated by Constance Garnet Section 28, Part 5, Chapter 2 It would be difficult to explain exactly what could have originated the idea of that senseless dinner in Katerina Ivanovna's disordered brain. Nearly ten of the twenty rubles given by Raskolnikov for Marmalatov's funeral were wasted upon it. Possibly Katerina Ivanovna felt obliged to honor the memory of the deceased suitably that all the lodgers and still more Amalia Ivanovna might know that he was in no way their inferior and perhaps very much their superior and that no one had the right to turn up his nose at him. Perhaps the chief element was that peculiar poor man's pride which compels many poor people to spend their last savings on some traditional social ceremony simply in order to do like other people and not to be looked down upon. It is very probable too that Katerina Ivanovna longed on this occasion at the moment when she seemed to be abandoned by everyone to show those wretched contemptible lodgers that she knew how to do things, how to entertain, and that she had been brought up in a gentile, she might almost say aristocratic, colonel's family and had not been meant for sweeping floors and washing the children's rags at night. Even the poorest and most broken-spirited people are sometimes liable to these paroxysms of pride and vanity which take the form of an irresistible nervous craving. And Katerina Ivanovna was not broken-spirited. She might have been killed by circumstance, but her spirit could not have been broken. That is, she could not have been intimidated. Her will could not be crushed. Moreover, Sonia had said with good reason that her mind was unhinged. She could not be said to be insane, but for a year past she had been so harassed that her mind might well be overstrained. The latter stages of consumption are apt, doctors tell us, to affect the intellect. There was no great variety of wines, nor was there Madeira, but wine there was. There was vodka, rum, and Lisbon wine, all of the poorest quality, but insufficient quantity. Besides the traditional rice and honey, there were three or four dishes, one of which consisted of pancakes, all prepared in Amalia Ivanovna's kitchen. Two Samovars were boiling, that tea and punch might be offered after dinner. Katerina Ivanovna had herself seen to purchasing the provisions with the help of one of the lodgers, an unfortunate little pole who had somehow been stranded at Madame Lepevixels. He promptly put himself at Katerina Ivanovna's disposal and had been all that morning and all the day before running about as fast as his legs could carry him, and very anxious that everyone should be aware of it. For every trifle he ran to Katerina Ivanovna, even hunting her out at the bazaar, at every instant called her Pani. She was heartily sick of him before the end, though she had declared at first that she could not have got on without this serviceable and magnanimous man. It was one of Katerina Ivanovna's characteristics to paint everyone she met in the most glowing colors. Her praises were so exaggerated as sometimes to be embarrassing. She would invent various circumstances to the credit of her new acquaintance and quite genuinely believe in their reality. Then, all of a sudden, she would be disillusioned and would rudely and contemptuously repulse the person she had only a few hours before been literally adoring. She was naturally of a gay, lively and peace-loving disposition, but from continual failures and misfortunes she had come to desire so keenly that all should live in peace and joy and should not dare to break the peace that the slightest jar, the smallest disaster, reduced her almost to frenzy and she would pass in an instant from the brightest hopes and fancies to cursing her fate and raving and knocking her head against the wall. Amalia Ivanovna, too, suddenly acquired extraordinary importance in Katerina Ivanovna's eyes and was treated by her with extraordinary respect, probably only because Amalia Ivanovna had thrown herself heart and soul into the preparations. She had undertaken to lay the table, to provide the linen, crockery, etc., and to cook the dishes in her kitchen, and Katerina Ivanovna had left it all in her hands and had gone herself to the cemetery. Everything had been well done. Even the tablecloth was nearly clean, the crockery, knives, forks, and glasses were, of course, of all shapes and patterns, lent by different lodgers, but the table was properly laid at the time fixed and Amalia Ivanovna, feeling she had done her work well, had put on a black silk dress and a cap with new morning ribbons and met the returning party with some pride. This pride, though justifiable, displeased Katerina Ivanovna for some reason, as though the table could not have been laid except by Amalia Ivanovna. She disliked the cap with the new ribbons, too. Could she be stuck up, the stupid German, because she was mistress of the house and had consented as a favor to help her poor lodgers? As a favor! Fancy that! Katerina Ivanovna's father, who had been a colonel and almost a governor, had sometimes had the table set for forty persons and then anyone like Amalia Ivanovna or rather Ludwiganovna would not have been allowed into the kitchen. Katerina Ivanovna, however, put off expressing her feelings for the time and contented herself with treating her coldly, though she decided inwardly that she would certainly have to put Amalia Ivanovna down and set her in her proper place, for goodness only knew what she was fancying herself. Katerina Ivanovna was irritated, too, by the fact that hardly any of the lodgers invited had come to the funeral except the pole who had just managed to run into the cemetery while to the memorial dinner the poorest and most insignificant of them had turned up, the wretched creatures, many of them not quite sober. The older and more respectable of them, they were all, as if by common consent, stayed away. Piotr Petrovich Luzin, for instance, who might be said to be the most respectable of all the lodgers, did not appear, though Katerina Ivanovna had the evening before told all the world that is Amalia Ivanovna, Polenka, Sonja and the pole that he was the most generous, noble-hearted man with a large property and vast connections had been a friend of her first husbands and a guest in her father's house and that he had promised to use all his influence to secure her a considerable pension. It must be noted that when Katerina Ivanovna exalted anyone's connections and fortune, it was without any ulterior motive, quite disinterestedly, for the mere pleasure of adding to the consequence of the person praised, taking his cue from Luzin that contemptible wretch Lebeziatnikov had not turned up either. What did he fancy himself? He was only asked out of kindness and because he was sharing the same room with Piotr Petrovich and was a friend of his, so that it would have been awkward not to invite him. Among those who failed to appear were the gentile lady and her old maidish daughter who had only been lodgers in the house for the last fortnight, but had several times complained of the noise and uproar in Katerina Ivanovna's room, especially when Marmaladov had come back drunk. Katerina Ivanovna heard this from Amalia Ivanovna, who, quarreling with Katerina Ivanovna and threatening to turn the whole family out of doors, had shouted at her that they were not worth the foot of the honorable lodgers whom they were disturbing. Katerina Ivanovna determined now to invite this lady and her daughter, whose foot she was not worth and who had turned away haughtily when she casually met them, so that they might know that she was more noble in her thoughts and feelings and did not harbor malice and might see that she was not accustomed to her way of living. She had proposed to make this clear to them at dinner with allusions to her late father's governorship and also at the time that it was exceedingly stupid of them to turn away on meeting her. The fat Colonel Major, he was really a discharged officer of low rank, was also absent, but it appeared that he had been not himself for the last two days. The party consisted of the pole, a wretched-looking clerk with a spotty face and a greasy coat who had not a word to say for himself and smelt abominably, a deaf and almost blind old man who had once been in the post office and who had been from immemorial ages maintained by someone at Amalia Ivanovna's. A retired clerk of the commissariat department came too. He was drunk, had a loud and most unseemly laugh and only fancy was without a waistcoat. One of the visitors sat straight down to the table without even greeting Katharina Ivanovna. Finally one person having no suit appeared in his dressing gown, but this was too much and the efforts of Amalia Ivanovna and the pole succeeded in removing him. The pole brought with him, however, two other poles who did not live at Amalia Ivanovna's and whom no one had seen here before. All this irritated Katharina Ivanovna intensely. For whom had they made all these preparations then to make room for the visitors the children had not even been laid for at the table but the two little ones were sitting on a bench in the furthest corner with their dinner laid on a box while Polinka, as a big girl, had to look after them, feed them and keep their noses wiped like well-bred children. Katharina Ivanovna, in fact, could hardly help meeting her guests with increased dignity and even haughtiness. She stared at some of them with special severity and loftily invited them to take their seats. Rushing to the conclusion that Amalia Ivanovna must be responsible for those who were absent she began treating her with extreme nonchalance which the latter promptly observed and resented. Such a beginning was no good omen for the end. All were seated at last. Raskolnikov came in almost at the moment of their return from the cemetery. Katharina Ivanovna was greatly delighted to see him in the first place because he was one educated visitor and, as everyone knew, was in two years to take a professorship in the university and secondly because he immediately and respectfully apologized for having been unable to be at the funeral. She positively pounced upon him and made him sit on her left hand. Amalia Ivanovna was on her right. In spite of her continual anxiety that the dishes should be passed round correctly and that everyone should taste them in spite of the agonizing cough which interrupted her every minute and seemed to have grown worse during the last few days she hastened to pour out in a half whisper to Raskolnikov all her suppressed feelings just indignation at the failure of the dinner interspersing her remarks with lively and uncontrollable laughter at the expense of her visitors and especially of her landlady. It's all that cuckoo's fault. Do you know whom I mean? Her. Her. Katharina Ivanovna nodded towards the landlady. Look at her. She's making round eyes. She feels that we are talking about her and can't understand. The owl. Ha-ha! And what does she put on that cap for? Have you noticed that she wants everyone to consider that she is patronizing me and doing me an honor by being here? I asked her like a sensible woman to invite people especially those who knew my late husband and look at the set of fools she has brought. The sweeps. Look at that one with the spotty face and those wretched poles. Ha-ha! Not one of them has ever poked his nose in here. I've never set eyes on them. What have they come here for? I ask you. There they sit in a row. Hey, Pani! She suddenly cried to one of them. Have you tasted the pancakes? Take some more. Have some beer. Won't you have some vodka? Look, he's jumped up and is making his bows. They must be quite starved for things. Never mind. Let them eat. They don't make a noise anyway, though I'm really afraid for our landlady's silver spoons. Amalia Ivanovna! She addressed her suddenly, almost aloud. If your spoons should happen to be stolen, I won't be responsible. I warn you. Ha-ha-ha! She laughed turning to Raskolnikov and again nodding towards the landlady in high glee at her sally. She didn't understand. She didn't understand again. Look how she sits with her mouth open. An owl! A real owl! An owl in new ribbons! Ha-ha-ha! Here her laugh turned again into an insufferable fit of coughing that lasted five minutes. Drops of perspiration stood out on her forehead and her handkerchief was stained with blood. She showed Raskolnikov the blood in silence and as soon as she could get her breath began whispering to him again with extreme animation and a hectic flush on her cheeks. Do you know I gave her the most delicate instructions, so to speak, for inviting that lady and her daughter? You understand of whom I am speaking? It needed the utmost delicacy, the greatest nicety, but she has managed things so that that fool that conceded baggage, that provincial non-entity, simply because she is the widow of a major and has come to try and get a pension and to fray out her skirts in the government offices because at fifty she paints her face, everybody knows it, a creature like that did not think fit to come and has not even answered the invitation which the most ordinary good man has required. I can't understand why Piotr Petrovich has not come but where's Sonya? Where has she gone? Ah, there she is at last. What is it Sonya? Where have you been? It's odd that even at your father's funeral you should be so unpunctual. Rodion Romanovich, make room for her beside you. That's your place Sonya. Take what you like. Have some of the cold entree with jelly. That's the best. They'll bring the pancakes directly. Have they given the children some? Polenka, have you got everything? That's all right. Be a good girl, leader. And Kolya, don't fidget with your feet. Sit like a gentleman. What are you saying Sonya? Sonya hastened to give her Piotr Petrovich's apologies trying to speak loud enough for everyone to hear and carefully choosing the most respectful phrases which she attributed to Piotr Petrovich. She added that Piotr Petrovich had particularly told her to say that as soon as he possibly could he would come immediately to discuss business alone with her and to discuss what could be done for her, etc., etc. Sonya knew that this would comfort Katarina Ivanovna, would flatter her and gratify her pride. She sat down beside Raskolnikov. She made him a hurried bow, glancing curiously at him. But for the rest of the time she seemed to avoid looking at him or speaking to him. She seemed absent-minded though she kept looking at Katarina Ivanovna trying to please her. Neither Shein or Katarina Ivanovna had been able to get mourning. Sonya was wearing dark brown and Katarina Ivanovna had on her only dress a dark striped cotton one. The message from Piotr Petrovich was very successful. Listening to Sonya with dignity, Katarina Ivanovna inquired with equal dignity how Piotr Petrovich was and then at once whispered almost aloud to Raskolnikov that it certainly would have been strange for a man of Piotr Petrovich's position and standing to find himself in such extraordinary company in spite of his devotion to her family and his old friendship with her father. That's why I am so grateful to you, Rodion Romanovich, that you have not disdained my hospitality in such surroundings," she added almost aloud, but I am sure that it was only your special affection for my poor husband that has made you keep your promise. Then once more with pride and dignity she scanned her visitors and suddenly inquired aloud across the table of the deaf man, wouldn't he have some more meat and had he been given some wine? The old man made no answer and for a long while could not understand what he was asked, though his neighbors amused themselves by poking and shaking him. He simply gazed about him with his mouth open which only increased the general mirth. What an imbecile! Look! Look! Why was he brought? But as to Piotr Petrovich I always had confidence in him, Karterina Ivanovna continued, and of course he is not like with an extremely stern face Amalia Ivanovna so sharply and loudly that the latter was quite disconcerted. Not like your dressed-up draggletails whom my father would not have taken his cooks into his kitchen and my late husband would have done them honor if he had invited them in the goodness of his heart. Yes, he was fond of drink! He was fond of it! He did drink! cried the commissariat clerk, gulping down his twelfth glass of vodka. My late husband certainly had that weakness and everyone knows it. Karterina Ivanovna attacked him at once. But he was a kind and honorable man who loved and respected his family. The worst of it was his good nature made him trust all sorts of disreputable people and he drank with fellows who were not worth the soul of his shoe. Would you believe it? Rodion Romanovich, they found a gingerbread cock in his pocket. He was dead drunk but he did not forget the children. A cock! Did you say a cock? shouted the commissariat clerk. Karterina Ivanovna did not vouchsafe a reply. She sighed, lost in thought. No doubt you think like everyone that I was too severe with him, she went on addressing Raskolnikov. But that's not so. He respected me. He respected me very much. He was a kind-hearted man and how sorry I was for him sometimes. He would sit in that corner and look at me. I used to feel so sorry for him. I used to want to be kind to him and then would think to myself be kind to him and he will drink again. It was only by severity that you could keep him within bounds. Yes! He used to get his hair pulled pretty often. Roared the commissariat clerk again swallowing another glass of vodka. Some fools would be the better for a good drumming as well as having their hair pulled. I am not talking of my late husband now. Karterina Ivanovna snapped at him. The flush on her cheeks grew more and more marked. Her chest heaved. In another minute she would have been ready to make a scene. Many of the visitors were sniggering, evidently delighted. They began poking the commissariat clerk and whispering something to him. They were evidently trying to egg him on. Allow me to ask what you are alluding to, began the clerk. That is to say, who's about whom did you just know? But I don't care. That's nonsense, widow. I forgive you. Pass. And he took another drink of vodka. Raskolnikov sat in silence, listening with disgust. He only ate from politeness. Just tasting the food at Karterina Ivanovna was continually putting on his plate to avoid hurting her feelings. He watched Sonja intently. But Sonja became more and more anxious and distressed. She too foresaw that the dinner would not end peaceably and she saw with terror Karterina Ivanovna's growing irritation. She knew that she, Sonja, was the chief reason for the gentile lady's contemptuous treatment of Karterina Ivanovna's invitation. She had heard from Amalia Ivanovna that the mother was positively offended at the invitation and had asked the question how could she let her daughter sit down beside that young person? Sonja had a feeling that Karterina Ivanovna had already heard this and an insult to Sonja meant more to Karterina Ivanovna than an insult to herself, to her children or her father. Sonja knew that Karterina Ivanovna would not be satisfied now till she had shown those draggled tails that they were both to make matters worse. Someone passed Sonja from the other end of the table a plate with two hearts pierced with an arrow cut out of black bread. Karterina Ivanovna flushed crimson and at once said aloud across the table that the man who sent it drunk an ass. Amalia Ivanovna was foreseeing something amiss and at the same time deeply wounded by Karterina Ivanovna's haughtiness and to restore the good humor of the company and raise herself in their steam she began, up-repose of nothing telling a story about an acquaintance of hers. Karo from the chemists who was driving one night in a cab and that the cab man wanted him to kill and Karo very much begged him not to kill and wept and clasped hands and frightened and from fear pierced his heart. Though Karterina Ivanovna smiled she observed at once that Amalia Ivanovna ought not to tell anecdotes in Russian. The latter was still more offended and she retorted that her father Aus Berlin was a very important man and always went with his hunts and pockets. Karterina Ivanovna could not restrain herself and laughed so much that Amalia Ivanovna lost patience and could scarcely control herself. Listen to the owl Karterina Ivanovna whispered at once her good humor almost restored. She meant to say he kept his hands in his pockets but she said he put his hands in people's pockets and have you noticed Rodian Romanovich that all these Petersburg foreigners the Germans especially are all stupider than we. Can you fancy anyone telling us how Karo from the chemists pierced his heart from fear and that the idiot instead of punishing the cab man clasped his hands and wept and much begged? Ah the fool and you know she fancies it's very touching and does not suspect how stupid she is to my thinking that drunken Soviet clerk is a great deal cleverer. Anyway one can see that he has addled his brains with drink but you know these foreigners are always so well behaved and serious look how she sits glaring she is angry haha regaining her good humor Karterina Ivanovna began at once telling Raskolnikov that when she had obtained her pension she intended to open a school for the daughters of the gentleman in her native town Te. This was the first time she had spoken to him of the project and she launched out into the most alluring details. It suddenly appeared that Karterina Ivanovna had in her hands the very certificate of honor of which Marmaladov had spoken to Raskolnikov in the tavern when he told him that Karterina Ivanovna his wife had danced the shawl dance before the governor and other great personages on leaving school. This certificate of honor was obviously intended now to prove Karterina Ivanovna's right to open a boarding school but she had armed herself with it chiefly with the object of overwhelming those two stuck-up dragletails if they came to the dinner and proving incontestably that Karterina Ivanovna was of the most noble she might even say a colonel's daughter and was far superior to certain adventuruses who have been so much to the fore of late. The certificate of honor immediately passed into the hands of the drunken guests and Karterina Ivanovna did not try to retain it for it actually contained the statement on two letters that her father was of the rank of a major and also a companion of an order who was almost the daughter of a colonel. Warming up Karterina Ivanovna proceeded to enlarge on the peaceful and happy life they would lead in Teh on the gymnasium teachers whom she would engage to give lessons in her boarding school one a most respectable old Frenchman one Mongo who had taught Karterina Ivanovna herself in old days and was still living in Teh without teach in her school on moderate terms. Next she spoke of Sonia who would go with her to Teh and help her in all her plans. At this someone at the further end of the table gave a sudden guffaw. Though Karterina Ivanovna tried to appear to be disdainfully unaware of it she raised her voice and began at once speaking with conviction of Sonia's undoubted ability to assist her in her loneliness, patience, devotion, generosity and good education tapping Sonia on the cheek and kissing her warmly twice. Sonia flushed crimson and Karterina Ivanovna suddenly burst into tears immediately observing that she was nervous and silly and she was too much upset that it was time to finish and as the dinner was over it was time to hand round the tea. At that moment Sonia Ivanovna deeply aggrieved at taking no part in the conversation and not being listened to made one last effort and with secret misgivings ventured on an exceedingly deep and weighty observation that in the future boarding school she would have to pay particular attention to Devashe and that there certainly must be a good dame to look after the linen and secondly that the young ladies and girls at night read Karterina Ivanovna who certainly was upset and very tired as well as heartily sick of the dinner at once cut short Amalia Ivanovna saying she knew nothing about it and was talking nonsense and that it was the business of the laundry maid and not of the directors of a high class boarding school to look after Devashe and as for novel reading that was simply rudeness and she begged her to be silent Amalia Ivanovna fired up and getting angry observed that she only meant her good and that she had meant her very good and that it was long since she had paid her gold for the lodgings Karterina Ivanovna at once set her down saying that it was a lie to say she wished her good because only yesterday when her dead husband was lying on the table she had worried her about the lodgings to this Amalia Ivanovna very appropriately observed that she had invited those ladies but those ladies had not come because those ladies are ladies and cannot come to a lady who is not a lady Karterina Ivanovna at once pointed out to her that as she was a slut she could not judge what made one really a lady Amalia Ivanovna at once declared that her father Aus Berlin was a very, very important man and both hands in pockets went and always used to say poof poof and she leaped up from the table to represent her father sticking her hands in her pockets poofing her cheeks and uttering vague sounds resembling poof poof amid loud laughter from all the lodgers who purposely encouraged Amalia Ivanovna hoping for a fight but this was too much Amalia Ivanovna and she at once declared so that all could hear that Amalia Ivanovna probably never had a father but was simply a drunken Petersburg fin and had certainly once been a cook and probably something worse Amalia Ivanovna turned as red as a lobster and squealed that perhaps Karterina Ivanovna never had a father but she had a father Aus Berlin and that he wore a long coat poof poof Karterina Ivanovna observed contemptuously that all knew what her family was and that on that very certificate of honor it was stated in print that her father was a colonel while Amalia Ivanovna's father if she really had one was probably some Finnish milkman but that probably she never had a father at all since it was still uncertain whether her name was Amalia Ivanovna Ludwig Govna at this Amalia Ivanovna lashed to fury struck the table with her fist and shrieked that she was Amalia Ivanovna and not Ludwig Govna that her father was named Johan and that he was a burgemeister and that Karterina Ivanovna's father was never a burgemeister Karterina Ivanovna rose from her chair and with a stern and apparently calm voice though she was pale and her chest was heaving observed that if she dared for one moment to set her contemptible wretch of a father on a level with her papa she, Karterina Ivanovna would tear her cap off her head and trample it underfoot Amalia Ivanovna ran about the room shouting at the top of her voice that she was mistress of the house and that Karterina Ivanovna when she comes that minute then she rushed for some reason to collect the silver spoons from the table there was a great outcry and uproar the children began crying Sonya ran to restrain Karterina Ivanovna but when Amalia Ivanovna shouted something about the yellow ticket Karterina Ivanovna pushed Sonya away and rushed at the landlady to carry out her threat at that minute the door opened Petrovich Luzin appeared on the threshold he stood scanning the party with severe and vigilant eyes Karterina Ivanovna rushed to him end of section 28 which is part 5 chapter 2 recording by Father Zeile of Detroit, Michigan May 2008 crime and punishment part 5 chapter 3 recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Anosimum crime and punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky translated by Constance Garnet part 5 chapter 3 Piotr Petrovich she cried protect me you at least make this foolish woman understand that she can't behave like this to a lady in misfortune that there is a law for such things I'll go to the governor general himself she shall answer for it remember my father's hospitality protect these orphans allow me madam allow me Piotr Petrovich waved her off your papa as you are well aware I had not the honour of knowing someone laughed aloud and I do not intend to take part in your everlasting squabbles with Amalia Ivanovna I've come here to speak of my own affairs and I want to have a word with your stepdaughter Sofia Ivanovna I think it is allow me to pass Piotr Petrovich edging by her went to the opposite corner where Sonia was Katerina Ivanovna remained standing where she was as though thunder struck she could not understand how Piotr Petrovich could deny having enjoyed her father's hospitality though she had invented it herself she believed in it firmly by this time she was struck too by the business like dry just menacing tone of Piotr Petrovich all the clamour gradually died away at his entrance not only was this serious business man strikingly incongruous with the rest of the party but it was evident too that he had come upon some matter of consequence that some exceptional cause must have brought him and that therefore something was going to happen Laskolnikov standing beside Sonia moved aside to let him pass Piotr Petrovich did not seem to notice him a minute later Libergetnikov too appeared in the doorway he did not come in but stood still listening with marked interest almost wonder and seemed for a time perplexed excuse me for possibly interrupting you but it's a matter of some importance Piotr Petrovich observed addressing the company generally I'm glad indeed to find other persons present Amalia Ivanovna I humbly beg you as mistress of the house to pay careful attention to what I have to say to Sofia Ivanovna Sofia Ivanovna he went on addressing Sonia who was very much surprised and already alarmed immediately after your visit I found that a hundred rubble note was missing from my table in the room of my friend Mr. Libergetnikov if in any way whatever you know and will tell us where it is now I assure you on my word of honour and call all present to witness that the matter shall end there in the opposite case I shall be compelled to have recalls to very serious measures and then you must blame yourself complete silence reigned in the room even the crying children were still Sonia stood deadly pale staring at Luzhin and unable to say a word she seemed not to understand some seconds passed well how is it to be then asked Luzhin looking intently at her I don't know I know nothing about it Sonia articulated faintly at last no you know nothing Luzhin repeated and again he paused for some seconds think a moment Mar-Morzel he began severely but still as it were admonishing her reflect I am prepared to give you time for consideration kindly observe this if I were not so entirely convinced I should not you may be sure with my experience venture to accuse you so directly seeing that for such direct accusation before witnesses if false or even mistaken I should myself in a certain sense be made responsible I'm aware of that this morning I changed for my own purposes several five percent securities for the sum of approximately three thousand rubles the account is noted down in my pocketbook on my return home I proceeded to count the money as Mr. Lebejatnikov will bear witness after counting two thousand three hundred rubles I put the rest in my pocketbook in my code pocket about five hundred rubles remained on the table and among them three notes of a hundred rubles each at that moment you entered at my invitation and all the time you were present you were exceedingly embarrassed so that three times you jumped up in the middle of the conversation and tried to make off Mr. Lebejatnikov can bear witness to this you yourself Mar-Morzel probably will not refuse to confirm my statement that I invited you through Mr. Lebejatnikov solely in order to discuss with you the hopeless and destitute position of your relative Katarina Ivanovna whose dinner I was unable to attend and the advisability of getting up something of the nature of a subscription lottery or the like for her benefit you thanked me and even shed tears I described all this as it took place primarily to recall it to your mind and secondly to you that not the slightest detail has escaped my recollection then I took a ten ruble note from the table and handed it to you by way of first installment on my part for the benefit of your relative Mr. Lebejatnikov saw all this then I accompanied you to the door you being still in the same state of embarrassment after which being left alone with Mr. Lebejatnikov I talked to him for ten minutes then Mr. Lebejatnikov went out and I returned to the table with the money lying on it intending to count it and to put it aside as I proposed doing before to my surprise 100 ruble note had disappeared kindly consider the position Mr. Lebejatnikov I cannot suspect I am ashamed to allude to such a supposition I cannot have made a mistake in my reckoning for the minute before your entrance I had finished my accounts and found the total correct you will admit that recollecting your embarrassment your eagerness to get away and the fact that you kept your hands for some time on the table and taking into consideration your social position and the habits associated with it I was so to say with horror and possibly against my will compelled to entertain a suspicion a cruel but justifiable suspicion I will add further and repeat that in spite of my positive conviction I realized that I run a certain risk in making this accusation but as you see I would not let it pass I have taken action and I will tell you why solely madam solely owing to your black ingratitude why? I invite you for the benefit of your destitute relative I present you with my donation of 10 rubles and you on the spot repay me for all that with such an action it is too bad you need a lesson reflect moreover like a true friend I beg you and you could have no better friend at this moment think what you're doing otherwise I shall be inmovable well what do you say I've taken nothing Sonja whispered in terror you gave me 10 rubles here it is take it Sonja pulled her handkerchief out of her pocket untied a corner of it took out the 10 rubles note and gave it to Lusian and the 100 rubles you do not confess to taking he insisted reproachfully not taking the note and looked about her all were looking at her with such awful stern, ironical, hostile eyes she looked at Raskolnikov he stood against the wall with his arms crossed looking at her with glowing eyes good God broke from Sonja Amalia Ivanovna we shall have to send word to the police and therefore I humbly beg you meanwhile to send for the house porter Lusian said softly and even kindly got the bomb herzige I knew she was the thief cried Amalia Ivanovna throwing up her hands you knew it Lusian caught her up then I suppose you had some reason before this for thinking so I beg you worthy Amalia Ivanovna to remember your words which have been uttered before witnesses there was a buzz of loud conversation on all sides all were in movement what cried Katerina Ivanovna suddenly realizing the position and she rushed at Lusian what you accuser of stealing Sonja the wretches the wretches and running to Sonja she flung her wasted arms around her and held her as an advice Sonja how dare you take ten rubles from him foolish girl give it to me give me the ten rubles at once here Katerina Ivanovna crumbled it up and flung it straight into Lusian's face it hit him in the eye and fell on the ground Amalia Ivanovna hastened to pick it up Piotr Petrovich lost his temper hold that mad woman he shouted at that moment several other persons besides Lebediatnikov appeared in the doorway among them the two ladies mad am I mad idiot strict Katerina Ivanovna and yourself petty fucking lawyer baseman Sonja, Sonja take his money Sonja a thief why she'd give away her last penny and Katerina Ivanovna broke into hysterical laughter did you ever see such an idiot she turned from side to side and you too she suddenly saw the landlady and you too sausage eater you declare that she's a thief you trashy prussian hands, legs and a crinoline she hasn't been out of this room she came straight from you you wretch and sat down beside me everyone saw her she sat here by Rodin Romanovich search her, since she's not left the room the money would have to be on her search her, search her but if you don't find it then excuse me my dear fellow you answer for it I'll go to her sovereign to her gracious Tsar himself and throw myself at his feet I'm alone in the world, they would let me in do you think they wouldn't you're wrong, I will get in I will get in you reckoned on her meekness you relied upon that but I'm not so submissive, let me tell you you've gone too far yourself search her, search her and Katerina Ivanovna in a frenzy shook illusion and dragged him towards Sonja I'm ready I'll be responsible but calm yourself madam, calm yourself I see that you're not so submissive well, well but as to that, Luzhan Matat that ought to be before the police though indeed there are witnesses enough as it is I am ready but in any case it's difficult for a man on account of her sex but with the help of Amalia Ivanovna though of course it's not the way to do things how is it to be done? as you will, let anyone who likes her, cried Katerina Ivanovna Sonja, turn out your pockets see, look monster the pocket is empty, here was our handkerchief here's the other pocket, look do you see, do you see and Katerina Ivanovna turned or rather snatched both pockets inside out but from the right pocket a piece of paper flew out and describing a parabola in the air fell at Luzhan's feet everyone saw it several cried out Piotr Petrovich stooped down picked up the paper in two fingers lifted it where all could see it and opened it it was a hundred ruble note, folded in eight Piotr Petrovich held up the note showing it to everyone Thief, out of my lodging police, police yelled Amalia Ivanovna they must to Siberia be sent away exclamations arose on all sides Golnikov was silent keeping his eyes fixed on Sonja except for an occasional rapid glance at Luzhan Sonja stood still as though unconscious she was hardly able to feel surprise suddenly the collar brushed to her cheeks she uttered a cry and hid her face in her hands no, it wasn't I I didn't take it, I know nothing about it she cried with a heart-rending wail and she ran to Katerina Ivanovna who clasped her tightly in her arms as though she would shelter her from all the world Sonja, Sonja, I don't believe it you see, I don't believe it she cried in the face of the obvious fact swaying her two and throwing her arms like a baby kissing her face continually then snatching at her hands and kissing them too you took it, how stupid these people are oh dear, you're fools, fools she cried, addressing the whole room you don't know, you don't know what a heart she has what a girl she is she take it? she? she'd sell her last rag she'd go barefoot to help you if you needed it that's what she is she has the yellow passport because my children were starving she sold herself for us ah husband, husband do you see? do you see? what a memorial dinner for you merciful heavens defend her why are you all standing still? Rogin Romanovich, why don't you stand up for her? do you believe it too? you're not worth her little finger, all of you together good god defend her now, at least the will of the poor, consumptive, helpless woman seemed to produce a great effect on her audience the agonized, wasted, consumptive face the parched, bloodstained lips the hoarse voice the tears unrestrained as a child's the trustful, childish and yet despairing prayer for help were so pitches that everyone seemed to feel for her Piotr Petrovich, at any rate, was at once moved to compassion madam, madam this incident does not reflect upon you he cried impressively no one would take upon himself to accuse you of being an instigator or even an accomplice in it especially as you have proved her guilt by turning out her pockets showing that you had no previous idea of it I am most ready, most ready to show compassion if poverty, so to speak drove Sophia Semyonovna to it but why did you refuse to confess, mademoiselle? were you afraid of the disgrace? the first step? you lost your head, perhaps? one can quite understand it but how could you have lowered yourself to such an action? gentlemen he addressed the whole company gentlemen compassionate and so to say commiserating these people I am ready to overlook it even now in spite of the personal insult lavished upon me and may this disgrace be a lesson to you for the future he said, addressing Sonia and I will carry the matter no further enough Piotr Petrovich stole a glance at Raskolnikov their eyes met and the fire in Raskolnikov's seemed ready to reduce him to ashes Minuel Katerina Ivanovna apparently heard nothing she was kissing and hugging Sonia like a mad woman the children too were embracing Sonia on all sides and Palenka, though she did not fully understand what was wrong was drowned in tears and shaking with sobs as she hit her pretty little face swollen with weeping on Sonia's shoulder how vile! a loud voice cried suddenly in a dull way Piotr Petrovich looked round quickly what vileness! Lebezhatnikov repeated staring him straight in the face Piotr Petrovich gave a positive start all noticed it and recalled it afterwards Lebezhatnikov strode into the room and you dared to call me as witness, he said going up to Piotr Petrovich what do you mean? what are you talking about? I mean that you are slanderer that's what my words mean Lebezhatnikov said hotly looking sternly at him with his short-sighted eyes he was extremely angry Raskolnikov gazed intently at him as though seizing and weighing each word again there was a silence Piotr Petrovich indeed seemed almost unfounded for the first moment if you mean that for me he began stammering but what's the matter with you are you out of your mind? I'm in my mind but you are a scoundrel how vile! I've heard everything I kept waiting on purpose to understand it for I must own even now it is not quite logical what you've done at all four I can't understand why? what have I done then? give over talking in your nonsensical riddles or maybe you're drunk you may be a drunkard perhaps vile man but I am not I never touch vodka for it's against my convictions would you believe it? he he himself with his own hands gave Sofya Semionovna that hundred ruble note I saw it I was a witness I'll take my oath he did it he! repeated Lebezhatnikov addressing all are you crazy? milk's up squealed Luzhin she's herself before you she herself here declared just now before everyone that I gave her only ten rubles how could I have given it to her I saw it I saw it Lebezhatnikov repeated and though it is against my principles I am ready this very minute to take any oath you like before the court for I saw how you slipped it in her pocket only like a fool I thought you did it out of kindness when you were saying goodbye to her at the door while you held her hand in one hand with the other left you slipped the note into her pocket I saw it I saw it Luzhin turned pale what lies? he cried impudently why? how could you? standing by the window see the note you fancied it with your short-sighted eyes you're raving no I didn't fancy it and though I was standing some way off I saw it all and though it certainly would be hard to distinguish a note from the window that's true I knew for certain that it was a hundred rubles note because when you were going to give Sofya Semyonovna ten rubles you took up from the table a hundred rubles note I saw it because I was standing near then and an idea struck me at once so that I did not forget you had it in your hand you folded it and kept it in your hand all the time I didn't think of it again until when you were getting up you changed it from your right hand to your left and nearly dropped it I noticed it because the same idea struck me again that you meant to do her kindness without my seeing you can fancy how I watched you and I saw how you succeeded in slipping it into your pocket I saw it I saw it I'll take my oath Lebeziatnikov was almost breathless exclamations arose on all hands chiefly expressive of wonder but some were menacing in tone all crowded round Pratapetovich Katarina Ivanovna flew to Lebeziatnikov I was mistaken in you protect her you're the only one to take her part she's an orphan God has sent you Katarina Ivanovna hardly knowing what she was doing sank on her knees before him a pack of nonsense yelled Luzhin roused fury it's all nonsense you've been talking an idea struck you you didn't think you noticed it amount to so I gave it to her on a sly on purpose what fool would what object what have I to do with this what fool that's what I can't understand but that what I'm telling you is the fact that's certain so far from my being mistaken you infamous criminal man I remember how on account of it a question occurred to me at once just when I was thinking you and pressing your hand what made you put it secretly in her pocket why you did it secretly I mean could it be simply to conceal it from me knowing that my convictions are opposed to yours and that I do not approve of private benevolence which affects no radical cure well I decided that you really were ashamed of giving such a large sum before me perhaps too I thought he wants to give her a surprise when she finds a whole hundred ruble note in her pocket for I know some benevolent people are very fond of decking out their charitable actions in that way then the idea struck me too that you wanted to test her to see whether when she found it she would come to thank you then too that you wanted to avoid thanks and that as the saying is your right hand should not know something of that sort in fact I thought of so many possibilities that I put off considering it but still thought it indelicate to show you that I knew your secret but another idea struck me again that Sofia Semyonovna might easily lose the money before she noticed it that was why I decided to come in here to call her out of the room and to tell her that you put a hundred rubles in her pocket but down my way I went first to Madame Kobilapnikov's to take them the general treaties on the positive method and especially to recommend Peter's article and also Wagner's then I come on here and what a state of things I find now could I could I have all these ideas and reflections if I had not seen you put the hundred ruble note in her pocket when Lepidyatnikov finished his long wine to her rank with the logical deduction at the end he was quite tired and the perspiration streamed from his face he could not, alas even express himself correctly in Russian though he knew no other language so that he was quite exhausted almost emaciated after this heroic exploit but his speech produced a powerful effect he had spoken with such vehemence with such conviction that everyone obviously believed him Piotr Petrovich felt that things were going badly with him what is it to do with me if city ideas did occur to you he shouted that's no evidence you may have dreamt it, that's all and I tell you you're lying sir you're lying and slandering from some spy against me simply from peak because I did not agree with your free-thinking godless social propositions but this retort did not benefit Piotr Petrovich murmurs of disapproval were heard on all sides ah, that's your lie now is it cried Lebeziatnikov that's nonsense call the police and I'll take my oath there's only one thing I can't understand what made him risk such a contentable action oh pitiful, despicable man I can explain why he risked such an action and if necessary I too will swear to it Raskolnikov said at last in a firm voice and he stepped forward he appeared to be firm and composed everyone felt clearly from the very look of him that he really knew about it and that the mystery would be solved now I can explain it all to myself Raskolnikov addressing Lebeziatnikov from the very beginning of the business I suspected that there was some scoundrelly intrigue at the bottom of it I began to suspect it from some special circumstances known to me only which I will explain at once to everyone they account for everything your valuable evidence has finally made everything clear to me I beg all all to listen this gentleman he pointed to Luzhin was recently engaged to be married to a young lady my sister of Dogyaromenov Naraskolnikov but coming to Petersburg he quarrelled with me the day before yesterday at our first meeting and I drove him out of my room I have two witnesses to prove it he's a very spiteful man the day before yesterday I didn't know that he was staying here in your room and that consequently on the very day we quarrelled the day before yesterday he saw me give Katarina Ivanovna some money for the funeral as a friend of the late Mr. Marmaladov he had once wrote a note to my mother and informed her that I had given away all my money not to Katarina Ivanovna but to Sofya Semionovna and referred in a most contemptible way to the character of Sofya Semionovna that is hinted at the character of my attitude to Sofya Semionovna all this you understand was with the object of dividing me for my mother and sister by insinuating that I was squandering on unworthy objects the money which they had sent me and which was all they had yesterday evening before my mother and sister and in his presence I declared that I had given the money to Katarina Ivanovna for the funeral and not to Sofya Semionovna and that I had no acquaintance with Sofya Semionovna and had never seen her before, indeed at the same time I added that he with all his virtues was not worth Sofya Semionovna's little finger though he spoke so ill of her to his question would I let Sofya Semionovna sit down beside my sister I answered that I had already done so that day irritated that my mother and sister were unwilling to quarrel with me at his insinuations he gradually began being unpardonably rude to them a final rupture took place and he was turned out of the house all this happened yesterday evening now I beg your special attention consider if he had now succeeded improving that Sofya Semionovna was a thief he would have shown to my mother and sister that he was almost right in his suspicions that he had reason to be angry at my putting my sister on a level with Sofya Semionovna that in attacking me he was protecting and preserving the honor of my sister his betrothed in fact he might even through all this have been able to estrange me for my family and no doubt he hoped to be restored to favor with them to say nothing of revenging himself on me personally for his grounds for supposing that the honor and happiness of Sofya Semionovna are very precious to me that was what he was working for that's how I understand it that's the whole reason for it and there can be no other it was like this or somewhat like this that Raskolnikov wound up his speech which was followed very attentively though often interrupted by exclamations from his audience but in spite of interruptions he spoke clearly, calmly exactly, firmly his decisive voice his tone of conviction and his stern face made a great impression on everyone yes, yes, that's it Lebezhatnikov ascended gleefully that must be it for he asked me as soon as Sofya Semionovna came into our room whether you were here whether I had seen you among Katarina Ivanovna's guests he called me aside to the window and asked me in secret it was essential for him that you should be here that's it that's it Luzhin smiled contentiously and did not speak but he was very pale he seemed to be deliberating on some means of escape perhaps he would have been glad to give up everything and get away but at the moment this was scarcely possible it would have implied admitting the truth the accusations brought against him moreover the company which had already been excited by drink was now too much stirred to allow it the commissariat clerk though indeed he had not grasped the whole position was shouting louder than anyone and was making some suggestions very unpleasant to Luzhin but not all those present were drunk lodges came in from all the rooms the three Poles were tremendously excited and were continually shouting at him the pan is a large duck and muttering threats in Polish Sonia had been listening with strained attention though she too seemed unable to grasp it all she seemed as though she had just returned to consciousness she did not take her eyes off Raskolnikov feeling that all her safety lay in him Katarina Ivanovna breathed hard and painfully and seemed fearfully exhausted Amalia Ivanovna stood looking more stupid than anyone with her mouth wide open unable to make out what had happened she only saw that Piotr Petrovich had somehow come to grief Raskolnikov was attempting to speak again but they did not let him everyone was crowding around Luzhin with threats and shouts of abuse but Piotr Petrovich was not intimidated seeing that his accusation of Sonia had completely failed he had recourse to insolence Allow me gentlemen, allow me Don't squeeze, let me pass he said making his way through the crowd and no threats if you please I assure you it will be useless you will gain nothing by it on the contrary I have to answer gentlemen for violently obstructing the cause of justice the thief has been more than unmasked and I shall prosecute our judges are not so blind and not so drunk and will not believe the testimony of two notorious infidels agitators and atheists who accuse me for motives of personal revenge which they're foolish enough to admit yes, allow me to pass Don't let me find a trace of you in my room kindly leave at once and everything is at an end between us when I think of the trouble I've been taking the way I've been expounding all this fortnight I told you myself today that I was going when you tried to keep me now I will simply add that you're a fool I advise you to see a doctor for your brains and your short sight let me pass gentlemen he forced his way through but the commissariat clerk was unwilling to let him off so easily he picked up a glass from the table inserted in the air and flung it at Piotr Petrovich but the glass flew straight at Amalia Ivanovna she screamed and the clog overbalancing fell heavily under the table Piotr Petrovich made his way to his room and half an hour later had left the house Sonja, timid by nature had felt before that day that she could be ill treated more easily than anyone and that she could be wronged with impunity yet till that moment she had fented that she might escape misfortune by care, gentleness and submissiveness before everyone her disappointment was too great she could of course bear with patience and almost without murmur anything, even this but for the first minute she felt it too bitter in spite of her triumph and her justification when her first terror and stupefaction had passed and she could understand it all clearly the feeling of her helplessness and of the wrong done to her made her heart throb with anguish and a miracle weeping at last unable to bear any more she rushed out of the room and ran home almost immediately after Lusian's departure when amidst loud laughter the glass flew at Amalia Ivanovna it was more than a land lady could endure with a shriek she rushed like a fury at Katarina Ivanovna considering her to blame for everything out of my lodgings at once, quick march and with these words she began snatching up everything she could lay her hands on that belonged to Katarina Ivanovna and throwing it on the floor Katarina Ivanovna pale, almost fainting and gasping for breath jumped up from the bed where she had sunk in exhaustion and darted at Amalia Ivanovna but the battle was too unequal the land lady waved her way like a feather what, as though that godless calamity was not enough this vile creature attacks me on the day of my husband's funeral I'm turned out of my lodging after eating my bread and salt she turns me into the street with my orphans where am I to go will the poor woman sobbing and gasping good god she cried with flashing eyes is there no justice upon earth whom should you protect if not us orphans we shall see there is law and justice on earth there is, I will find it godless creature Polenka, stay with the children I'll come back, wait for me if you have to wait in the street we will see whether there is justice on earth and throwing over her head that green shawl which Marmaladov had mentioned Katarina Ivanovna squeezed her way through the disorderly and drunken crowd of lodgers who still filled the room and wailing and tearful she ran into the street with a vague intention of going at once somewhere to find justice Polenka with the two little ones in her arms crouched, terrified on the trunk in the corner of the room while she waited trembling for her mother to come back Amalia Ivanovna raged about the room shrieking, lamenting and throwing everything she came across on the floor the lodgers talked incoherently some commented to the best of their ability on what had happened others quarreled and swore at one another while others struck up a song now it's time for me to go I thought Raskolnikov well, Sofya Semyonovna we shall see what you'll say now any set off in the direction of Sonya's lodgings end of part 5, chapter 3