 When the narcissist knows they have lost you when they know that you're no longer going to be of any use to them When you become a lost cause When they accept that they're not going to get anything more out of you When they accept that they're not going to be able to mold you to their liking Narcissists need people They've got to have people around them at all times People feel them People give them supply They make them feel special and important They make them feel desirable and attractive They feed the narcissist's ego Narcissists have a strong sense of entitlement They believe that they have a right to anyone they want They will demand all of your time and attention But there are times when the narcissist doesn't get what they want There are times when the narcissist is unable to manipulate people They are forced to accept that they cannot have you They see you as the one that got away This happens when you may have qualities or abilities that they desire But you are not a good source of supply for the narcissist You don't feed their egos or believe in their illusions You don't validate their false self If the narcissist cannot get anything out of you They're not going to stick around They're not going to put all of their energy into something That isn't going to give them a return If they can't get supply from you They will just discard you They won't want anything to do with you anymore They will let you go and they won't even bother chasing after you Because they know that you know They know that you see through the illusion They understand that it would be too much work to try to manipulate you And pull you into their realm So they will just leave you Or let you leave them And then they will look for low-hanging fruit Something that can be obtained or persuaded With little effort Because narcissists can't deal with anything too stressful They want it easy They want everything to fall into their lap So you don't give them supply so easily If you don't give them supply so easily They're not going to want to deal with you They will see you as a bad person Who must be avoided at all costs And then they will go looking for someone who is easier to deal with Someone who is willing to put up with their BS They're not going to deal with someone who is not interested in them Unless they can get something else out of it Like money or a place to stay But if you don't give them anything They're not going to stick around They will leave and look for low-hanging fruit They are very careful with how they manage their time and resources If you're not giving them fuel They're just going to see you as a problem They will want to get rid of you The narcissist needs to be able to manipulate you They need to have the ability to influence your emotions They need to be able to make you feel whatever they want you to feel It gives them supply They will put you on an emotional roller coaster Because it makes them feel powerful When they know that they can make you laugh, cry Or feel guilty or confused It makes them feel like they are in control The narcissist needs the ability to control you And they will do this for your emotions By changing your mood, way of life and your behaviours They feed off your reactions When you react to the narcissist It tells them that they have the power to influence you They play with your emotions They want you to emotionally attach to them Because that then improves their ability to manipulate you It gives them more control If you are dealing with a narcissist You need to learn how to control your emotions If you don't control your emotions The narcissist will control them for you But if you stop reacting to them It confuses them They don't know what to do in that situation They might try to up the ante But if you continue to withhold your emotions There's really nothing they can do It will drive them insane The narcissist cannot be around someone They cannot manipulate or control It makes them feel very uncomfortable They see their feelings as facts So they see it as though you have made them feel uncomfortable Which they then use to justify their actions towards you Where they will often try to take revenge on you They may do this by discarding you As they may think that this is going to hurt you But no matter what they do to you They will never forget you and they will never forgive you They will never let it go They are very bitter and resentful people They can hold grudges for the rest of their lives They just pretend like they're not holding a grudge If they want something from you If they think you're going to give something to them But deep down they secretly despise you They're just there to milk you for whatever you've got Which is why if they see an opportunity to ruin you in the future They will take that opportunity When you are around a narcissist You need to take away your emotions The narcissist will only use your emotions to manipulate and control you If they can see that you feel guilty or hurt about something They feel like they are winning They feel like they are in control When you are engaged in a conflict with a narcissist You may see that this is what they are trying to do They are trying to change how you feel about yourself Because how you feel about yourself reflects on how they feel about themselves If they can get you to feel down It makes them feel better If you are arguing with a narcissist You can just pretend to feel down Act like they have won the argument And as though you feel bad about yourself And then watch their reactions They will feel no desire to continue the argument Because now they feel like they have won As long as you fight back and try to stay in control of your emotions The argument will continue Because all they are trying to do is destabilize you They want to keep you off balance So instead of fighting it Choose to be off balance By choosing it You will still be in control But the narcissist will think that they have destabilized you Which will then cause the argument to end When you stop reacting to the narcissist They will feel like they have lost you They will feel like they are no longer relevant in your life They may feel like they own you As though you belong to them As though they can turn you into anything they like But once you switch off your emotions They will know that they have lost you They might try to up the ante Especially if they were able to get a rise out of you before But if you don't give them the reaction they're looking for They will be forced to accept that it's all over They will see it as though they have lost you And then they will just move on Because now they can't destabilize you They can't control you If a narcissist cannot manipulate or control you They will either try to take revenge on you Or they will just avoid you The narcissist needs you to be emotionally invested in them That is what gives them the ability to control you But when you shut off your emotions They will no longer be able to manipulate you They will no longer be able to control you And that is when they will feel like they have lost you Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries You can email me at coachingatnarksurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon