 Hey, Psych2goers. Perhaps Brazilian novelist Paulo Coelho said it best when he said, Sometimes your heart needs time to accept what your head already knows. It's not always easy for us to see when the love someone once felt for us has turned toxic. We might feel it from time to time when we start to wonder to ourselves if perhaps we deserve better than this. But at the end of the day, it's just too hard for us to let go. So we excuse a few bad behaviors and just chalk it up two reasons like, oh, they must be having a bad day, or maybe they didn't mean it that way. But there's a difference between the healthy amount of conflict all couples are bound to experience and the red flags of being in a toxic relationship. Here are seven telltale signs that the love someone might feel for you is actually toxic. Number one, they get unreasonably jealous and possessive. Most people tend to have this misguided belief that a partner's jealousy is actually a sign of how much they care about you. While there is some truth to the idea that jealousy stems from a fear of losing your partner and it's a perfectly normal emotion to feel from time to time, be careful not to romanticize it too much. Because when your partner starts to get unreasonably jealous and possessive over you all the time, it means that they think of you more as their property than your own person. Number two, they act passive-aggressive towards you. Does your partner often tell you it's okay to do something like go out with your friends instead of them, for example? Then get hurt or upset when you take their word for it. Do they forgive you for your mistakes only to throw it back in your face the moment you have a disagreement about something? Or resort to tactics like giving you the cold shoulder, withdrawing their affection, or treating you with sarcasm instead of actually telling you what's wrong. Passive-aggressive behaviors like these are not only manipulative and controlling, but they also show that your partner may lack the emotional maturity and communication skills needed to be in a committed, lasting relationship. Number three, they have issues with codependency. Defined as a dysfunctional relationship characterized by a lack of boundaries, most often stemming from one partner's extreme fear of abandonment, being in a codependent relationship is emotionally draining and damaging to your self-esteem and sense of identity. Codependency means always having to save your partner from themselves, fixing all of their problems for them, and attending to their every back-and-call without ever getting anything in return. Number four, there's an uneven power dynamic. No matter how good someone might be at getting you to believe they love you, be it with their lavish gifts, flowery words, or grand gestures, if they constantly expect you to prioritize their wants and needs over your own, then they don't really love you. They only love having control over you. They love being the one who always gets a say in everything you do, who makes all your decisions and tells you what's best for you. So if you feel disrespected or unappreciated by your partner, like you don't really have any power in your relationship, you should probably watch out. Number five, it feels bad. All the time. Now, you might be asking yourself, why would anyone ever stay in a relationship that makes them feel bad all the time? Why not just leave? But real life is rarely ever that simple. Toxic relationships rarely ever start out that way. Most of the time people don't even notice when things start to turn toxic. And by then they already feel too much love or commitment towards the other person to just end things with them like that. But make no mistake, if your partner makes you feel bad all the time, and there is constant drama in your relationship, then the love they have for you is likely toxic. Number six, you lose yourself in the relationship. While it might sound romantic to make someone your whole world and throw yourself into a relationship with them, we should always remember that being committed to our partners is not the same as giving up our own sense of identity and individuality for the sake of our relationship. We should never be so consumed by anyone that we end up over-compromising and changing too much of ourselves just to please them and make our relationship work. And number seven, you over-idealize one another. Last but certainly not least, we must warn you against the perils of being with someone who over-idealizes you. While it might seem incredibly flattering and romantic at first, it can quickly turn toxic too. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than over-idealizing one another, burdening them with unrealistically high expectations and not giving each other the freedom to be flawed and make mistakes. Because at the end of the day, it means that it's not you they're in love with. It's a version of you that doesn't even exist. So is there anyone in your life who you think loves you in a toxic way? If so, we highly urge you to weigh the pros and cons between trying to patch things up with this person or just distancing yourself from them all together for the sake of your mental and emotional well-being. And if you're struggling with being in a toxic relationship, please don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health care professional today and get the help that you need and deserve. Did you enjoy this video? Please like and share it with friends that might find insight in this video as well. 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