 Today on Sister 2 Sister, is it my responsibility to call out the sin in my friend's life? And what do you do when your daughter has to compete against a transgendered student? Is it even fair? Wow. So much more today on Sister 2 Sister. To sister to sister. We are five opinionated. We're coming at all of your questions through a biblical perspective and today we have a fabulous special guest with us. It is our producer Robin sitting at the table and Robin is so fierce. She is so fierce that she bosses five powerful women around on a daily basis and she comes up with loads of questions and content just for you. So we're so grateful to have you on with us today. It's under protest but I'm happy to be here. It's so good. And today guys, you know there's some tough questions but I love that we're not afraid of it because the world is driving culture and narratives and then there's a biblical world view. So we're going to come at this through to the best of our ability, a biblical world view. Tiffany, I'm going to ask you this question first. What do you do when your daughter has to compete against a transgendered student? So I saw this article and I saw a transgender male and he was definitely above six feet. So you have all these other women players that are around the same height but he's definitely like far above them. So I thought to myself, how can I come up with that? How really I mean, Corey, can you compete with that? You know, I mean, how can we compete with that? So one of the things that I said to myself, I said, well, let me answer this question. Is it playing fair? Absolutely not. You can't play fair with that, you know what I mean? But with regards to my daughter, one of the things I would do is I would encourage her because that's probably really challenging if you're going in there like that and you're on the opposite team of that six plus foot male. So I would just encourage her and let her know, hey, listen, you know, this is who you are, you know, encourage her in her role, establish her importance and kind of go from there, you know what I mean? I mean, you could go a step further and, you know, talk to the president of the school or try to, you know, go from it from that standpoint. But you know, I think you're really just going to have to encourage her, especially if she's having a hard time with it. So gosh, when I got this question, I have to say, I spent a lot of time wrestling with this, talking to other Christian friends, talking to people who aren't Christians from different perspectives. This is, there is nothing easy about this for sure. One of the arguments that I think could come against this is, okay, but what if this transgendered student has been given hormone blocking substances that they're not like the boy is not getting that testosterone and in place is actually getting that estrogen. And so does it make it more equal at that point? And so I started thinking about that. And what I did then was I started doing more research, right? Because I just think this is such a new issue that we're facing, that we have to be educated so that we can speak into it. And the one study that I was reading that came out said, okay, even if their testosterone is being blocked, even if they're giving estrogen, it does not change the biology within that their bones are still going to be longer, their lung capacity is greater, their muscles are biologically different than women's. And so even in the end, it is an unfair playing field for sure. So then what do we, like what can we do? We can speak to our daughters, but I think we also have to start the conversation within the school. If we're brave enough, right? Like this is the other hard thing. We can go to the school board, we can say, why are we allowing transgendered students to compete? Like let's go to the root of the situation. Because then they're also in the girls locker rooms, it creates a safety issue. It's just important to have the conversations, to be educated and speak intelligently and listen to both sides. And who's deciphering, who's transgender, who's really perverted and trying to get some weird space with girls. And also what if you're the mom and you've spent a life savings and you spent years driving to practices and showing up at games and you've watched your daughter sacrifice and build and grow in a certain, you know, basketball or soccer or something. And then, you know, a biological male comes in and says, I'm a female and I'm playing. And they outplay your daughter just because of physical, what do you do? Yeah, it's not an easy answer. Unfortunately, I think the answer is, if you're transgendered, that has become a choice, right? That has become an avenue that you can take, right? I think the answer that needs to be taken is you don't get to choose which sport you get to play anymore. Unfortunately, that that is that has become a health and safety issue. How is it safe for a six foot tall physiologically stronger person to wrestle or to, you know, whatever the sport may be, how, how has that become safe for them to compete with to run against to, you know, whatever the sport may I'm, you know, not thinking of the sport, but how has that become safe for them to compete against a physiological female? There's a reason why men's and women's teas are at different points. There's a reason why every running, swimming record is completely different for men and for women because of those physiological differences. It just blows my mind that this has become an issue. Yeah. And you know what my question would be, too, is where do we draw the line? Where is the line drawn? If we continue to move forward in that direction, where do you stop it? You know what I mean? I think the question too is, okay, sure. We talked about all what happens, you know, men and women are different and we know that, but do I allow my daughter to play? Do I allow my daughter to go through that? Or do we make the hard decision to say, well, you're not going to compete in that if it's track race or you're not going to compete against things? You know, like in our particular school, we're a small school that plays coed teams, but and we do at times play teams that only have male players. Like on a soccer field, we're a coed team, but we play teams that also have just straight, all male players. And there's definitely a difference and we're definitely a disadvantage, but we know that going in and make that choice. If my daughter's worked her whole career in track or field, and this is a lot of time based on scholarships and things that they can get for college, but if she's just beat out, it's a total unfair advantage. That's so true. And, and, you know, to all of those that are struggling or, you know, believe that you're transgendered right now, maybe even going through the process, we just want you to know that we love you. We're praying for you and that God loves you and has an incredible plan for your life. And, you know, I think these are real questions to talk about. And they're important. Okay, Anna, what's your biggest deal breaker in a relationship? Romantic or friendship? Okay, so I'm going to come from the romantic position on this. And this hits really close to home because ladies, I just ended a seven month relationship with this wonderful man that I was dating. And so for me, well, and, you know, honestly, I shouldn't even say that I ended it because I was really like not super brave to be able to do that. But what happened was I firmly decided I needed to set this boundary of it was a values thing, but no sex before marriage, right? So it really comes down to the fact that values were different. And we're not equally yoked. So I think that has to listen, he treated me like a queen. He was wonderful, wonderful man. But when it comes to our faith, when it comes to our values, we were just we're not matching up. We have a great time together. But when it comes down to it, when, when we're in marriage, we have, like I need a man that is going to be able to hear from God, to be convicted, to have wisdom, to know how to lead. And so for me, if that's not present in a relationship, then that relationship has to be done. Biggest deal breaker in friendship, really romantic, whatever is dishonesty. Like I cannot tolerate somebody that is a liar. Like that's just you do have no trust in a relationship. If, if a person is a liar. Yeah, I've heard it said that trust is given, mistrust is earned. So if you've earned my mistrust, it's going to take a while to get that back. Yeah. You know, I'm glad you mentioned that, you know what I mean? Because I'm sure there's many women out there that need to hear that, even as far as they're in a relationship, but they're they feel like they don't want to give up that companionship and that connection and everything like that. So I'm glad you share that. And I think to your point with romanticism, I think romanticism is easy. You know, we see a lot of that on TV. You know, we dream about it, you know, but give me somebody that's a friend that will stick with me till the end that I can laugh with, that I can joke with, because I think as, you know, we've been married for a little bit. And so I need to know that we're friends, we're in there because I think the friendship, when you've been married a little bit longer, I think the friendship is the friendship is often a precursor to the romanticism as well. You know what I mean? So I would definitely say I need that French. I love to laugh. You know, I mean, everybody that knows me knows I love to laugh. My husband, he doesn't think he's funny, but he's very funny. But yeah, so I need that friendship for sure, without a doubt. Yeah. And I don't like high maintenance friendships where I feel like I'm on edge all the time. Did I call? Did I text? I mean, because I have a lot of responsibility. So my friends have to understand that. And I also, to be honest, have sort of a mild guard because I feel like I'm protecting my husband, our family, the church. There's like this lioness on the inside that's like, I really want to be your friend, but I can't let it all down. There's a certain level as a pastor's wife. I'm a pastor's wife as well, that I'm sorry, I think I just hit my mic rick, so that's a rookie mistake. I can't believe I just did that. But as a pastor's wife as well, you're afraid to let people in because you get hurt and you see a lot of things. And it's very hard. Loyalty is a big thing for me. And I personally am loyal to a fault, even when a relationship dies away. Somebody could call back and say, Hey, I need help. And I'm there in a second. And that's not always a good thing. Yeah, that's true. Well, talking about friendships, Corey, this question is like a trigger for me. Uh-oh, scared. Is it our responsibility to call a friend out with the sin in their life? Well, I recall a little verse in the Bible that says, Take care of the spec in your own eye before you, or I'm sorry, take care of the log in your own eye before you take care of the spec in somebody else's eye. I'm going to be honest here and say, like, I have never seen this workout. Like I have never seen it work out where you're calling out sin and like, and whether it be me or somebody else, I've never seen it work out. Like I kind of wish flow. I definitely wish flow was here because I know she'd be like, girl, like I had you got to do this, but like, and she's good at it. But but like, I have never seen this workout. Like I just think workout how like calling out sin in people's lives. Like there's a there's a like there's, you know, like Ecclesiastes, there's a time and a place for everything. But I just think there is a very few times for doing this. Like I think you got to have a real special friendship to be able to do that. I think it has to be like almost asked for. Like I think it has to be like a friend like asking you to like help them with it. I think like unsolicited like calling out sin in a friend's life is just like a real difficult thing. I think it's the spirit's job to call out sin in your life. I think you can pray. I think you can pray for it when you see it. I think you can pray for opportunity to help, you know, like for I just don't think like that is my job. I wonder sometimes if it's our fear that stops from doing that. Yeah, I'm not saying that I like doing it. And I'm not saying that I'm good at it or have done it. But it's I feel like a lot of things in our life were stopped by the fear of what the other person's going to do. Am I going to lose this relationship? Yeah, probably. Yeah. And, you know, maybe it might come back. Maybe it never will. Right. But sometimes I think, you know, granted, I'm not going to be like, you know, Corey, here's a long list of things that I'd like you to take care of today. Can we start with number one? No, we're not going to do that. But and it is me when you came up with this question, you know, some things just never get told. But, you know, sometimes let's just air it out right now, Robin. We don't have enough time. But, you know, I just think there's a fear sometimes stops us from doing things that maybe we should and then maybe we shouldn't. But like you said, it needs you have to need to have a relationship with somebody too. It's not just something that I'm picking Joe Schmo off the street and calling things out on them. Right. Well, as our producer, you never have any fear to call us out at any time and make the corrections. And we love it. That's why this show is so incredible. Anna, what are your thoughts? Yeah, I mean, I think Corey well said I agree completely. I think we need to pray that we have the opportunity to speak into them. Pray for their hearts. And when they ask, when they're asking, they're seeking, they're wondering. They're looking for counsel for wisdom. And what a great opportunity then for us to speak it in love to come alongside, say, listen, like I struggle with sin, too. And then really sit back like I've had friends do this with me where they'll speak the truth in love. And then they say it's up to the Holy Spirit then to totally bring that conviction. Yes, that's good. Well, first of all, Robin, I do agree with the whole comfort piece a lot of times we don't do things because it makes us feel uncomfortable. But I'm going to approach it from a different angle. If I if we are friends, how can I watch you stay and live in sin without sharing with you? You know what I mean? Now there is a level of discernment that I feel like you have to have and you do have to pray and ask the Lord for the right words and the right timing of it. But I think you would be robbing your friend of something if you did not share with them the truth of what you see. And then I think you kind of drop it like it's hot. You know what I mean? You share and then you let it go. And you let the Lord handle it from there. And that comes from such a pastor's heart because we want to see people grow and we want to see you grow. I don't like to be called out all the time, but you know what? It's good. It's good to have an open heart and a soft heart and a teachable heart. We'll be right back with more questions on Sister to Sister. Welcome back to Sister to Sister. I am excited about this next question. Corey, I'm going to you. My husband says I don't flirt with him anymore. I feel like our relationship has grown past that. Am I wrong? I looked up the definition of flirt. Oh, OK. Flirt, behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone but for amusement rather than with serious intentions. OK, animals flirt to attract a mate so they can mate. OK, we are far beyond animals. OK, people. So I really think that your husband is asking for something he shouldn't be asking for. I'm really surprised you say that. I mean, honestly, I think his intentions are good here. Like he's basically asking for he wants, you know, more fun, whatever. But and I don't think you should, you know, make fun of him for it. But I think you just did. OK, this wasn't my husband's question, OK? But I think you should dig into the communication more. I think he's, you know, it's good that he's opening up and, you know, actually telling you what he wants. I think you should dig into the communication more. But I do think that it's like what do you what do you really ask in for here? Yeah. And, you know, throw the dictionary definition to him. Girls, what do you think? I was about to jump out of my chair like I disagree. I disagree. OK, but also in saying that, I mean, so so I was married for a number of years and that flirting did go away. All of that went away and got just kind of settled into the dailiness of life and and a whole lot of other terrible stuff that we're not going to have a show. But I think it's going, thinking about second chance, second time around. I think it is so important to to keep the relationship a lot to have that fun, to have that lightheartedness. Flirting is sexy. And I mean, let's let's do it. Like the head movements to go along. And she's like learning. OK, listen, so there's like 12 couples in our church that are engaged right now and they're all getting married, all these young adults and they're all like, they're so flirty with each other and they're so like googly eye love. And I thought I am going to learn from them. And I want to I want to keep it fresh. I mean, 25 years, who wants old and stale and crusty? I mean, you've got to keep the fires burning. Right. Yes, I agree. And she asked, am I wrong? Absolutely. Yes, you are wrong. So obviously he's asking this because there's an unmet knee there. He wants to flirt with you. And I agree with both of you guys, ladies, that flirting does it keeps it fresh and fun. Because a lot of times, you know, after you've been married for a little while, you're so entrenched and engulfed in the day to day things and the kids need this, the kids need that, the church needs this, this needs. And then you forget about each other where you shouldn't, you know what I mean? So I think it, you know, like with the couples in your church that are like, that is a natural thing. I think you have to be purposeful about flirting with your spouse after a period of time. Robin, I know you like to flirt. Oh, you know me. That's just something I do all the time. Just that's great. No, it's it's it's it's I I agree with Corey. Yes. You guys, I'm getting a promotion. I think there's I think there's a level of growth. Yes. You know what I mean? A level of, you know, your people at your church all. But I think there's a level of, you know, like you said, twenty five years of what that turns into. Right. Yes. I think that the goal is that it grows richer and deeper and more meaty and fun, you know, but there's nothing wrong. I mean, there's nonflirty moments in life that are, you know, you're going through sicknesses and troubles and hardships. So anyway, we ask the Holy Spirit for help. OK, Tiffany, should I attend a gay friends wedding? This is a sensitive subject, you know, for I think a lot of people because on one hand, you know, they, him or she, they're your friend, they're considered a friend. On the other hand, you know, you may have a certain conviction about it. So, you know, I thought to myself, what is marriage in the Lord's eyes between a man and a woman? Can we like when you go to a wedding, we've all been to weddings. When we go to a wedding, what are we saying? We're saying, I support this unless you're one of those people when the pastor says, does anybody disagree with what's going on up here and you raise your hand? If you're not planning on raising your hand and saying something that I feel like you are going in support of what is transpiring. And so one of the things I would really do is I would talk to that your particular friend and explain to them why you're not going, why you're not choosing to support that as well. See, I disagree with that. I mean, you're just setting yourself up to like how how much would they would they be so disappointed and hurt if you said that to them? I think you don't you don't things you attend. You're not you're going to show your love for them. You know, how many times have you gone to something where you don't necessarily agree with what's happening? If you're not Catholic, you don't necessarily agree with an infant baptism, but you would still attend that and you don't go and explain like, I don't theologically agree with an infant baptism, but I still, you know, I'm not going to attend like I just think missionaries go to other culture cultural events because they're learning about them or they want to show support to the people in that culture. Like I want to show love to my friend. So I'm going to attend their wedding. I think bottom line. Like that's that's where I stand on it. You know, not all Christians would agree with that. But I went to to college for a musical theater. And so in the musical theater, you know, department, there are some of my greatest friends, you know, we're the gay gentlemen. And and I would support them and I would love them. And I also think as Christians, we're called to be the light. We're called to be the salt. We're called to speak the truth in love. But more importantly, we don't love people based on their sexual preference. We love people because they're God's kids. So we'll be right back and we'll close up this program. We were just all talking that we wish we had so much more time to talk about a couple of these questions that are really important and they're important to us. They're important to God. They're important to you. We like to end sister to sister with a scripture. I was going to say another question, but we like to end with a scripture. Questions are always in our mind. And that verse is in Colossians 3 13. Bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you. You know, if we will just always run to the scripture, we will get the exact answer that we need for every question that we have. And for every situation, the Bible has all the answers and does not shy away from any tough or hard or challenging things. And as iron sharpens iron, so does one sister or five sharpen another. We'll see you next time on Sister to Sister.