Advice for Christians





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Published on Oct 25, 2008

How to protect your faith.

1. Ensure that your concept of God is so vague that nobody can know precisely what you are talking about.

2. Pay no attention to people who try to reason with you. Know that they are mere shysters out to deceive you.

3. If doubts arise in your mind, then make the God-concept even more vague. If possible, move God beyond the reaches of thought where He'll be safe.

4. If your beliefs seem to contradict one another, simply ignore the fact. Chant to yourself "God is infinitely mysterious" two hundred or so times.

5. Learn to fully submit to God. In this way, you can cease the irritating habit of thinking, and soon attain Peace.

6. Never cease to harden your beliefs. Otherwise, reality will begin to seep into your life and you'll be in real trouble. If you are having difficulties, go to church services on a more regular basis.

7. Take time to study the sciences. By doing so, you will be better able to distort and misrepresent them.

8. Do not read the Gospels too closely as you may find anomalies. If you do find a threatening passage, ignore it. If some unease remains, then go to your local preacher. His life is dedicated to your well- being.

9. Above all, do not think for yourself. If you do, your friends will leave you and you'll be alone. God does not approve of anti-social ways.

10. Listen to your feelings. If they are happy, then God is happy - for God created us to be happy, did he not?

Special Note: Do not hesitate to use violence, whether against a threatening thought or an evil atheist. God thoroughly approves the use of violence to protect the faith.


A Life and Death Magazine production.


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