 Hello everyone, welcome to another video. Before I begin, please hit that thumbs up button down below as it will help the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other people who may need to see it. When the narcissist shows you who they really are, when you first meet the narcissist it's like that everything you've been waiting for, everything you've ever wanted. They present themselves as your soulmates, as this person who is going to make everything better for you. And in the beginning they're kind and helpful, they're friendly and agreeable, they're always there for you. You're making love together every day, they're helping you with things around the house and they may even help to take care of your cat or dog. It's like throughout your entire life you never met anyone who really understood you but then you met the narcissist and it's like someone finally gets it. They know you, they care about you, they want to help you or at least that's how it seems because it doesn't last for long. It's only a matter of time until they begin to reveal their true identity and nature which tends to be the exact opposite of what they displayed to you in the beginning. And you may never have seen it coming, you may never have imagined that they could be this way because they were on their best behavior in the beginning, they were on their peas and queues, they went above and beyond to please you but that was just so they could position themselves in your life because they study you so they know exactly what you like. They know how they have to be to get you to want to keep them around but then once they've planted themselves in your life they start getting a little bit too comfortable with you and that is when they know that it's time for their mask to come off which is typically once they've moved in with you. Maybe you bought a house together or you got married and had children and then they feel like they've got you because you're trapped and you're not going anywhere and they may even do things to test you, they may deliberately lie to you or cheat on you just to test the waters just to see how you react and then they feel like they've got you, they feel comfortable around you and when they feel comfortable that's when they take their mask off and you start to see how toxic and as functional they really are which may really shock and confuse you because up until that point you may never have imagined that they were like that they were so calm quiet and pleasant in the beginning and then all of a sudden they start nitpicking and fault-finding and then it turns into yelling and screaming and you're just left scratching your head wondering how it got to this point because you don't remember them being that way in the beginning when in fact they just hid that from you because they knew that you wouldn't accept the real them so they had to wait until they felt comfortable around you after they'd already got their foot in the door because once they've gained access to your life they're living in your home and they've already met your family and friends it's very difficult to get them out especially if you've gotten married and had children together then they really know you're not going anywhere so they feel like they can treat you however they like because at a certain point in the relationship they develop this sense of freedom from suspicion or doubt this confidence trust sureness and belief that no matter what they do to you you're not going to fight back you're not going to do anything about it so it's like easy pickings for them like taking candy from a baby because by this point they seek you as being powerless and helpless so they feel like they can do whatever they want to you and that is when you will begin to see who they really are because it's a sure test of a character when you're around someone who is very kind and friendly and maybe they were never taught to stand up for themselves and you know that you could completely destroy this person if you wanted to and they wouldn't know what to do they wouldn't know how to respond so you could just treat them however you like and you could get away with it but of course as empaths we would never do something like that if anything we would recognize that this person deserves more love and respect than anyone else but this is exactly who we are to the narcissist we are that person who didn't have boundaries that person who didn't know how to stand up for themselves and they took full advantage of us they stripped us of everything that we had everything that we were and then they left us for deads which is something that they will always do they will rob you for all your worth and then they'll just leave you out in the cold they'll ignore neglect and forget you as if you never even existed and this is what makes them so dangerous it's why they should not be allowed around vulnerable people because trust and believe that they will do anything to anyone if they believe they can get away with it if they see an opportunity to make use of a situation they will treat people unfairly in order to gain an advantage or benefit and this could be with anyone they could do it to children or the elderly they just can't be trusted around anyone because there's no telling what they might do and it's not that they don't have a moral compass they do know the difference between right and wrong it's just that they think it's okay for them to do it they feel entitled to do whatever they want because it was done to them or because life was unfair to them or because they just don't like you because you said or did something that they didn't like so now in their minds that gives them the right to do whatever they like which makes them very dangerous because unlike an empath they lack effective empathy which means that they do not very carelessly experience the thoughts and feelings of other people so they don't feel your pain or distress they don't even care so there's nothing stopping them from doing whatever they want once they feel comfortable and if they believe that they can get away with it because while it may affect you it doesn't affect them because they lack effective empathy they don't feel what you feel so they can do things to you and feel nothing and it won't consciously affect them and this is how it's so easy for them to go from the love bombing to giving you nothing because there was never any real intimacy or connection it was all fake they were never connected to you they have an inability to be vulnerable or to connect because that would require effective empathy and if they had that then they would have felt your pain as if it was their own but they didn't and that is how they're able to continue with their toxic behavior especially if you're forgiving them and they're able to get away with it because if there's nothing to keep them in check they will just go and do whatever they like there's nothing inside of them to stop them they're completely out of control and if they have the power to continue mistreating you they will end up devaluing you because in their minds if they're able to do these things to you that must mean you're not worth anything because otherwise they wouldn't be able to do it that's how they think so eventually they will just see it as though you're nothing and then they will discard you but once you spent enough time away from them they will begin to idealize you again because they haven't been able to mistreat you for some time so it increases your value again in their eyes because they already know that anything that's within their reach isn't going to be worth anything it's only once you manage to get away that you can then become something which is why they will often come back to Hoover you when the narcissist gets comfortable with you that is when you will see who they really are and when you see who they really are you have to get rid of them because after that it's only going to get worse thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me.narksurvivor you can book a one-on-one with me on our website it's narksurvivor.co.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon