 To welcome everybody to Ignite the Spark, my name is Char Speck-Pakniak. I am the founder and CEO of what's called Horizons for Girls. And what we do is we mentor middle school and high school students throughout Sheboygan County and really try to help them on this journey that we call life, which sometimes I'm not sure any of us know for sure what it really is, but I always like to share different resources that help the families and help the students. I'm excited today because I get to have a conversation with what's turned out to be a very good friend of mine. And she started as a mentor and I'm going to let you introduce yourself, who you are, where you came from, and how the heck you ended up on the doorstep of Horizons for Girls. I'm Samantha Chapa. I started in the military. I was in the military for ten and a half years and had gotten medically retired and had to have surgery throughout that time or throughout a period. I needed something to do, so I was looking up volunteer opportunities and came across your ad for needing a mentor. At the time I was currently going through, or I was a biomedical engineer, completely different avenue of my career choice, but started volunteering for you and found that I had a lot of passion for what I was doing. What I found interesting is I think at some point you started contemplating, okay, I've got this military benefit for my education. But what is it I want to do? And I think that's when we start having some conversations about going into that field of social work of some sort to try and help the students with what they're going through. Correct. I found a real connection with the young ladies and that not only was I helping them, but they were helping me to figure myself out and how to become a better person, what I wanted to do with myself. And if I can find that in myself, I feel I can find that with the other girls and try to help them as much as I can. Definitely to me it's a challenge every day. When you start to look at the background of some of these students and the trauma that they've gone through, whether that's divorce, family issues, abuse, even just basic study skills. Right. Definitely a lot of things that they're trying to go through, a lot of juggling, a lot of issues. And that's what we call what we do, igniting a spark. Right. Because it's like a treasure hunt. We're trying to figure out what it is they might be interested in. Right. And once you can capture whatever that is, the salesperson in me says, I've got you. I think of Haley. And she gets excited about working on cars. Yes. And she has job shadow twice in a mechanical garage at a dealership and loved it. So whether that ends up being her career or not, she definitely is being able to delve into something maybe she wasn't thinking of. I think that's important. Exactly. I agree. Sometimes they don't know where to turn, where to find that spark. And I really appreciate being able to assist them with that. I mean, it could be conversations that are completely silly or really serious conversations, but just being there for them to listen, to understand and use the compassion and love that I know they need. And it's that simple to just be there for them. Yeah, and that's really what I try and tell people when they're considering being a mentor is you don't have to have the answers. You know, just listen. You know, be that listening ear. So they can vent and they can bounce ideas off of you. Because when they do that, they're going to start to figure out what it is they want to do. I think of Jeremy. And, you know, now she is one of our, she's already graduated from the program. Now she's being trained to become a peer-to-peer mentor. You know, she has said, I think I'm starting to figure it out. I love that when you can start to see that light bulb go off. That transition is really amazing. It's just the ability for them to have gone through everything they've gone through already and come out on the end with such a positive attitude. I think that's the best part to take away from it, of course, is seeing the results. Yeah, it's, you know, I think back of when I was a teenager and I think of the struggles I might have, you know, gone through. I look at now what the students are going through and it's really, really tough, you know, the social media. I mean, I was caught in news, sir, I think yesterday. The state of Illinois is thinking of trying to pass a law that says that sexting has to be part of their sex education course. And I'm going, wow. That is really, I mean, if you're already teaching internet safety and you're teaching sex education, I don't know that you have to go into detail about something they shouldn't be doing to begin with. But that's, you know, and that's what they're seeing and that's what we're here to, I think, to dissuade them from, like, feeling pressured to have to do that kind of stuff. You know, we, I think, as mentors, we can show them that you can have a perfectly amazing, happy life and not have to, you know, dig into all this, the bad stuff that's coming from this social media, whether it's, you know, body image or whether it's peer pressure, whatever it is. I think just being there for them and listening, it gives them a chance to really see that there's other avenues than what social media is expecting of them. I think so. You know, and I think of the last two summers when we've gone camping and the first time that crossed my mind, I'm going, I don't know, are these girls going to get excited about camping? Right, right. They do. They love it and it's fun. It's very simple, like, you know, just even cooking and stuff like that, I would think, ah, they're not going to get excited about this or the walks through Maywood, when I take the girls for a bunch of nature walks. At first, I'm like, ah, they're going to have their phones on them, they're going to be staring at that, but then once we actually get into it and start walking and I start pointing out, hey, look at this, look at this, they do. They go back to that childlike and get excited about seeing the flower or the animals, whatever it is. It's just very reassuring to see that they're that can come back to such a simple, pleasant, like, self. Well, and I think, as you were just talking about Maywood, I was thinking of something that I remember as a kid and I haven't done it in quite a while, is where you grab a blade of grass and put it between your thumbs and you'd blow and you'd make it, it would vibrate and it would whistle and that was fun. Something is so simple that as a grandmother I still would find fascinating. It's fun. It's relaxing. And I think mindfulness, that's something that we've really started to work with the girls about, is finding ways to just bring it down and you don't need to worry about everything at the same time. Exactly. Staying in the present moment and I've been doing a lot of research or a lot of reading on this as you've known. I think I talk about it quite a bit. But anything that you worry about in the past, it's not going to affect what you can do right now. The future can only be determined by the present and it's something that I try to teach my own child, something that I feel like is very important to the young ladies because a lot of the stuff they did in the past or they have been through in the past has just been really hard on them. They don't have to stay there. They can do whatever they need to in the present to stay content and happy and make the choices that are going to be better for them right now that will affect their future. And I'm so glad that this mindfulness thing is becoming this blown up thing in the world because it just needs to happen in order for people to stay present with themselves and grounded. One of the other things that they decided to do this year is that they wanted to do 100 acts of kindness in 50 weeks. So that means an average of two every week. And I said, okay, it's fine. It's your project and they've been coming up with some incredible ideas of what they want to do. They bake bars to take to the fire station and the one thing that we do every year that they always have fun with is this past Christmas we were at Rocky Noel and we were delivering cookies it was over 500 cookies that we took out there and we delivered room to room and it was it was very emotional for the volunteers, for the staff at Rocky Noel, for the girls because we'd come up to a room the staff would knock on the door and would announce that that we were there to give them some Christmas cookies and then we'd be invited and you'd go into a room where the only light in that room was what was coming from the TV screen. I mean this was the first weekend in December and they're in this basic dark room all by themselves you know, so then we came in the girls offered them some cookies handed them a napkin then the residents would start to share their memories of the holidays and they would have conversations with the students and all of a sudden the resident is crying and the staff is crying and I'm crying and the girls are crying and it was very very emotional and on the way back from there in the van several girls were talking about how they really bothered them that these people were out there all alone and you know here it is so close to Christmas and they don't have somebody coming to see them they don't have it maybe maybe their family's gone or further away and they were feeling depressed because big deal it's Christmas it's just another day you know at this nursing home that's it we'll be and the girls were saying this will never ever happen to my family and it's like wow okay you guys are starting to get it family is important but what your mother said to you this morning guess what mom is family so that to me was very powerful to see that happen the true definition of igniting the spark yes exactly and putting it out with tears nothing I don't know but you know and of course Faith who you see wandering around it by our feet she was out there with us and then the residents would tell us stories maybe about a pet that they had when they were growing up it was it was very emotional but the girls really enjoyed it the other one I'm thinking of is when they went to the fire station that was funny because they baked apple cobbler and got into the van and dropped the apple cobbler upside down in the van so so much for delivering that day but then the next day we went and we bought some cookies and we delivered the cookies to the fire station and they thought that was cool because the fire and I won't say fireman except there was a female firefighter and they got to talk with her and with the other staff and they got to see the fire station and they began to understand what that means to keep us safe those people are there on call they're not with their family this is something they can aspire to what I find great too is mentoring and showing them they do job shadowing they're really able to get a taste of what is out there and what they can achieve they just maintain their productivity well exactly I'm thinking of one young lady who now is actually studying law wants to become an attorney and I remember first conversations with her and she said well I think I want to be an attorney and I'm going okay why and she goes because I want to go into the courtroom and I want to win the argument well this young lady was in foster homes from birth and imagine that that you're in a foster home and you come home from school that day and the social worker is there and says guess what we're moving you to a different foster home today you have no control over what's happening to you and I forget how many different foster homes she said she was in until she was finally adopted I think she was 17 years old when the family fostering her adopted her to make sure that that stopped but you know to keep pursuing what you think you want to be and have people to support you in doing that and I feel some of these girls aren't surrounded by support that encourages them to be their best and I find that actually the most important is just the ability to support them in anything they want to do regardless of what it is I know a couple of girls have even talked to you about going into military now tell me a little bit more you're going to UW Milwaukee going to UW Milwaukee now had graduated from UW Sheboygan two years ago but then needed to pursue it to go for my bachelors and had been working on a lot of social work courses and currently I'm getting myself set up to intern at raise which is a runaway services with Lutheran social services great program right and before that I was volunteering at Safe Harbor which is for domestic abuse and sexual assault victims prior to that senior center I've been ever since I've been able to start this program I have volunteered with so many programs and it just really has made me a better person not only for you know myself but for everyone around me and I guess that when I'm talking to young professionals and they're so focused on their career I've got to get my career I've got to become the CEO of my own company whatever it might be and it's like I'm sorry volunteering doing whatever it is maybe it's at the food bank sorting food donations I don't care but you know get involved because that puts you in touch with your community and that to me is huge and I think that's something when I talk to the girls and we talk about they say well I have no control over what's happening and it's like yeah you do go out there and make a difference actually I think it was Jeremy that came up with the idea there was a fire years ago and one of the students knew one of the families that was in that fire and so we went door to door and we collected clothing for their families they packed the van solid full floor to ceiling and all the way back right up to the driver's seat it was solid packed with clothes and there were personal care products and there were some food items it was just solid packed and they were so proud of making a difference I said see you can you can make a difference exactly and I think perhaps that's one thing that often bugs me is everyone's like I'm only one person I can't do anything well if everyone said that of course you wouldn't get anywhere just be that one person to make a difference regardless how small or big it is it's compassion and love for our community it's how we create an enlightened society to help our kids down the road and make a better life for themselves another one of the students I'm thinking of Abby who is out of the program for several years now is studying to get her cna she's been working part time in a group home for disabled people and I always sensed that she wanted to help other people she wanted to fix everything so when she got that job I went perfect she can help people and now she's encouraging me she wants me to bring her there to do a visit with the residents but being able to find that I can make a difference that's huge it just starts there and it keeps spreading and spreading and it's really that simple I mean it's not simple to all they've been through a lot but once they recognize that they are their decisions and their their compassion I mean it's endless the statistics I could go on and on and on about how mentoring makes a difference it makes better employees it makes a more productive workforce we've got one mentor that works for a company that actually pays her for her time when she's with us I think of United Way and the day of caring that they do in the fall and we're part of that every year and those companies are paying their staff to volunteer for that whole day and those staff they get so excited and so proud of what they accomplish and they get signs for our 5K to stop bullying and they were having a ball and here's CEOs and human resource people sitting at a table painting yard signs that we put up to promote our event they had a ball and I love the fact that we could promote our event which was great you know I and I want to encourage people when they see this visit the website look at the stuff the statistics are there the events are there we'll be doing our 5K again this year to try and stop bullying huge thing that that is in September I think it's the second Saturday in September it's part of a celebrate diversity event which is pretty cool and in addition to kicking that event that Saturday off with our 5K what we do is we also do an ice cream social every year we work with culvers they give us the frozen custard and then we create typically three different ethnic toppings that people can put on their ice cream I think we had Italian Mexican Asian that was the other one okay but yeah fun stuff like that that we can do and it's in the community during that time when you were in the ice cream social there's so many other resources at Fulton Parker locally also joining so it really connects the networks the whole community to kind of get involved I know I got an email yesterday we will be doing face painting at the library they do a spring something in March and we'll be doing face painting with that then they've got an Easter egg hunt that they do in April and we'll be painting then so you know again the students are trying to be out there involved in what's happening we're in the 4th of July parade I hope in bratwurst day yes we work at brat days so you know we're always out there you know so you can get as involved as you want to that's completely up to you you know I think of Erica and phenomenal artist and I would love her to be with us more often but I understand she's got a schedule she travels a lot that's okay she shares her talent her skills with the girls they love it I've got mentors that started with us 10 years ago and they still come back and do stuff mentors especially when I think of Rocky Noel that event we do that every year since we started and there are mentors that might be the only time they're with us and students same thing they say can I still come it's like you bet definitely it's all part of giving back to the community being a part of your community it's just huge and it doesn't matter how large or small or what you feel that you have to contribute anything that can be contributed to encourage these young ladies to just regardless keep moving forward just keep living their best lives I've had Melissa Mooney she is she is a national model from Sheboygan she models for Harley Davidson she's come and shared her insight with the students the people that I've been able to meet because I scheduled them to come and talk to the students like I met that person that's exciting so again whatever your skill or your talent that you think you might have visit the website find out ways to get involved because you want to be part of igniting the spark because that's what's going to make a difference for all of these young ladies middle school high school throughout Sheboygan county I invite you take a look at what we do be a part of what we do mentor somebody come back and visit us again and I'm sure with horizons for girls I look forward to having you visit with us again