 I'm making progress in my new path, which you kindly and beautifully introduced me to. And I understand that practice makes perfect, but yet my inner conversation with myself has quite newly turned a little negative. I'm giving myself a hard time. And also my feelings, I feel more deadened than I used to. I don't actually feel depressed and yet I seem to have some of the symptoms of depression, lack of motivation. I'm seven-eighths of the way up a mountain. I'm climbing with getting my healing practice up and properly running. I'm trying not to get involved in stories. I'm trying to remember my slim identity, which brings me happiness. What can I do to help myself? One thing that is really important for you is to spend more time in a day really feeling the soul, feeling the centre. Literally to spend more time doing that rather than to conceptually try to create pathways of work and things like that. It's just important to actually feel that truth. And when you start to get ambitious and you want to create things, then it's in your case, I'm saying this doesn't hold for everyone, but in your case, in your specific situation, because you've been out of the system for that long of your life, that coming back in sometimes there is an urge to sort of again slip out and you have to keep centre and keep present. But also to focus to the soul, not so much in the conceptual trying to create things. Those things they happen on their own when you go inward like that, people will come to you because they're coming to the truth. If you move away from that truth into ambition, people can't find a way to you because you are not with the truth. You have to be here and now present with the truth, the source, the soul, the fountain of that truth because it's not a poetic sort of story. It is real stuff. The more you are here, the more those around you will come towards you because that is what you want. You want to actually give something but you cannot give it if you are thinking about giving it. You can only give it if you are here with the truth, with the antar guru, the guru within and in your case with the outer guru because you have a guru. You have to focus on the guru outside and the guru inside. Those who don't have a guru, they focus on the guru inside. In your case, you have both. You have to focus on that and all the rest happens. I'm not saying you have to sit here and meditate on the internal guru and automatically letters get written or emails get typed out. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that when you stick with the truth, when you're focused on that, everything around you starts to fall into place and that matrix of perfection which is unfolding is allowed to unfold without resistance. Focus on the truth. Don't think so much about all the various plans you have and how you're going to live them out and how you're going to make this happen and that happen. It happens on its own. You do the right steps and the right things. The depression is coming because the focus is there, not here. It's simple, isn't it? You know that, right? Will you do it? Will you go more inward here and be with the truth rather than to have too many ambitions and I want to do this. I want to achieve that. I want, you know, people who have to learn from you can only learn from you if you're giving them the truth and you can only give them the truth if you are with the truth. Then everything falls in place, you know. Yes, it feels so true what you're doing, what you're saying. Yes, I am putting the wrong emphasis on things at the moment. You will only go into depression like that and you'll only go into joyousness if you just don't think about I need most of you, that's not the way, you know. The way is to be here first. Just solid truth and when the truth is solid, people are around that truth. They come. Today I was just getting ready for the satsang and then I thought, oh, I should put on a chain so that people can enjoy looking at the chain and then I put my hand inside a box and I just pulled out this chain and I put it on. And then I looked and I thought, oh, that's very interesting, this chain. It's intriguing, but it's not that I have to spend hours and hours thinking about the chain. The chain turns up because I'm not thinking about the chain, but I'm just here with the truth in a state of serving and giving and wanting to serve the truth. Then the truth will provide you with the chain and it will provide you with not a chain that is tying you to falsehood, but just a pretty little thing hanging here. And it'll give you everything, please believe me, all of you in this satsang. If you go with that truth, everything falls into place. It's true, it happens like that and very important for you. You can't go chasing after anything other than the truth. Otherwise you'll be put in depression. Then again you have to chase after the truth and the depression will go away. You have no choice. That is the only thing you can do. Don't think about who all is going to be your students and where you're going to, what big books you're going to write and how much of knowledge and this and that. First sit in that thing very solidly and one never sits in it solidly. One has to always come into that truth solidly. It's beautiful to be there, you know that very well. So quiet down the storm outside, the storm of ambition, the storm of wanting and demanding from life. I mean I don't have to tell you this, you know all this but I'm just saying it so also the others in this satsang will hear it. And just quiet down. Come to the center. Come to the center.