 Vova carefully holds one of your eyes open and begins to prod uncertainly the needle Okay, so who wants to recap of what's happened so far basically we went and we explored down south and we have an Amazing like a little side quest where you go and you find this you find this old lady who's She's getting friggin jumped by two guys, and they're like hey, where's the girl? And then I end up killing the guys that's what I did I killed the guys because they were attacking this woman and then after I killed them the lady was like actually I know where the girl is it was their sister, and it's like, uh, okay. Well now I killed two people I can explain let me tell you the girl so then I take you to the girl or she takes me to the girl She didn't meet me at the tea house as I'm going to the tea house I see a sheep I see that sheep, and I'm like hello sheep, and I go to pet the sheep and it says Like that's weird sheep don't sound like that So then I took my sword and I did divine smite and I slammed my sword right through the sheep's head And then what happened whenever I did that was it turns out this entire Beautiful forest was actually a swamp. It was an illusion, right? It was a trick. Wait, what? So whenever we get to the tea house. Oh wait, it's not a tea house It's a gnarled tea house and the old lady isn't an old lady. She's a witch Yeah, so the witch is now capturing this this girl so The men went out the bad guys She was and then we basically had to go and we had to kill the witch to save the girl And then there's like a whole another storyline on top of that which was oh, it turns out the girl was pregnant and the girl had agreed to give up her baby to the Witch in order for the witch to bring back her husband from the dead But we killed her but then we also stole her wand when we stole her wand We tried to bring back her husband from the dead And it turns out that she was gonna scam her anyway because when she when I casted the ray's dead He was a zombie. He came back as a zombie not as a human. So what I do I gave her the wand I said here you go You own your zombie husband now and then she ran off with her zombie husband and her baby intact So I was pretty sick actually that was probably like I would say that's probably the best stretch of the game That we played so far was yesterday. That was super good. It was super like Yeah, it was like fascinating. You forgot the part where you killed the zombie husband as they were walking away Yeah, we'll leave that part out. That's fine. Okay, we're gonna we're gonna go back to town too Wasn't there something else here that I was gonna do the cow. Yeah. Yeah, moo moo moo They give the moon the moon. Yeah, we because we have something that lets us talk to animals Uh, hello there, mr. Strange ox Potion of animal speaking Ready You're addressing me A humble ox How quaint Haven't you ever met anyone who could speak to oxen? I drew it or two. I suppose But the novelty remains fresh Did you come from el toro with others? I suppose I did Yes I had quite a life in el toro chewing card pulling cards Etc There's something strange about this ox. What is it? Oh my gosh Oh, oh, shit. That's what we're doing. We're pressing it. We're gonna effing that bitch Oh Damn things off This creature isn't what it appears to be There's more to you than meets the eye Care to explain no You are In cable. Oh come on old chap. I'm a devil for gossip 10 I got this easy. I just rolled the 20. It's gonna happen to Okay We're gonna. Hey, we're gonna save some this one because I want to know what happens here I think we're gonna intimidate him What rings you got bitch? I'm rolling a 20 Here we go tell you this much I'm going to boulder's gate with or without the rest of these poor sons Now that's all I have to say besides and I really mean this Move wait what? M-o-o Timing Timing is so good. So what he's some kind of like a trojan horse apparently. I don't know. That's that's what I think he is Every time I tune in you're killing animals. What's the deal dude? I just I like killing random innocence and then reloading. Okay. What's wrong with me? Let's see. I guess we go straight into the under dark, right? Under dark time chat. What is this? This is like a weeder Why why did I put a weeder on the mat, dude? What the hell? What is balder's gate doing starboard? Okay, this is nothing like the starboard logo. Okay He's not a normal one. This one's obviously broken. This is like, you know, it turns three times Dude, this is the fabled penis f Under dark duergar boat Sail into the darkness Here we go chat we're going to the under dark Oh nothing, you're in the under dark now under darker under dark and darker Uh, where's gake and who are you? Well Intimidation In the name of the absolute you will let me pass Deception I'm afraid gake is dead or athletics pushed dirt I got this Oh didn't even need the bonus lazella proves Okay, I'm gonna make them wet good Oh, I don't have any more lightning damage though. Oh, yes Oh, I got one of them. Wait, do I do these guys have good loot these guys probably have good loot Wait, no What the hell Only s man sends wizard in the middle of mobs. I play like a wild mage just blink in there and frost nova. Okay Yeah, that's a rat. I'm afraid gake is dead There's a five percent chance, dude critical fail, dude. I should have done a long rest, man Wait, oh my gosh. Do these guys have good loot? Or no The course there has good loot. Wait the one that I just knocked has good loot We're just gonna hit a long rest a nice long resty rest. I don't need to talk to anybody doing My friend, how do you fare? Is your research turned up anything for this parasite problem? My research turned up a rather brilliant technique that seems quite actionable It's not too deep Just behind the orbital socket. I could attempt an extraction I've a needle in my tunic after all Wait, what what are you doing? Uh, uh, dude. I I want to leave I want to leave How many times have you done this before I saw you I've dreamt of it a thousand times over Trust him. He's a world-renowned newspaper guy. Dude. This is not looking good Volo carefully holds one of your eyes open and begins to prod Uncertainly I was gonna leave but I just want to see the cutscene. Do you have the faintest idea what you're doing? Don't fidget. The needle must slip behind your eye not through it The needle finds the gap between eyeball and socket Volo frowns and begins to push Crunch your fists And shoots through your body as the needle snags on your optic nerve The needle seesaws back and forth plucking the nerve like a harp string Oh, father There's some obstacle in the way. I shall need a more robust implement That obstacle is my eye Oh, this was possible carefully withdraws the needle from your eye Then reaching into his bag He produces an ice Slowly brings the ice pick closer to your eye now Don't move Dude, hold on if I cancel at this point that you just are you like what happens? Holy red cold metal presses against the skin beneath your brow and then Tap tap stab Do you feel that? Huh, I think we have the blighter on the run I stick it out. Just there's the pick from your brain with a violent jerk Your eye plops down into the mud. That wasn't planned. I don't want this. I just wanted to see the cutscene I can't seem to see through one of my eyes. Yes, quite Well, there is some mild trauma. I can't help but feel partly responsible No loading Take this a far superior relic to that old jelly you were trained to try it on for size And um, it was very nice to have met you I'm sure you'll sort out your little brain problem one way or another Far away from here. If you've a heart terribly. Sorry my friend. What? Conditions bleeding eye check both C invisibility. What no, no, what do you lose though? You lose something You lost an eye. Should I keep it? I wasn't really playing on keeping it. Okay, whatever. We'll keep it I'm not gonna push him. I'm afraid gake is dead. Oh, no. Do I not have guidance anymore? Damn the sergeant will be pissed about who boots Do I not have guidance anymore on shadow heart? Let's get you to shore. You're the one telling the sergeant what happened The rest of you keep patrolling I'll be heading back with this one You continue forward in silence until the lights of a camp twinkled through the merc That building was part of the game outside ways We've got a welcoming party time you showed up We got trouble Spit it out Sergeant finally choked on true soul nears prick No, the twat soul caused a rockfall trap tighter than a ring on a fat finger You're shitting me You pay up That's the trouble. He's got the gold on him Sergeant's arm is falling off with all the known slaves. She's been beating. Who's the whom grayman another slave for the dig I'm a true soul and you will treat me with respect. No, I was told to report to the sergeant. I He sniffed up geck's corpse Found the whom sailing his skiff That's so I You feel the slightest of stirrings in your head What a fucking liar, dude, what a fucking weasley little liar, dude I'll be you're one of them cult freaks Felt the tingle your twat soul chum owes us a load of coins You want through make a donation? Uh, I'm not giving you a single coin and clog your hole just shitting around And I'm warning you Unclog your hole. That twat soul ain't settled up soon. There'll be hell to pay for the lot of you cult buggers Okay, so where do we got to go next see interestingly enough it says that there's This way for the quests, but do I even need to be here am I going the wrong way? Shit You got one of nez moon lanterns shark Moon lantern, what's that if you headed to moonrise you weren't lost without this Oh, this is going to moonrise top lands are clogged with the death dark choke you in no time Whatever, I'm not afraid of a few shadows We're fine Long as you keep your lips off our rail. I don't give two shits Sounds like the shadow curse We must be getting closer to moonrise Perhaps we should seek out this near while we can near automato moonrise tower holds the answer to seek curse or not We can't turn back now. Stop in the dark. It is Well, look they'll they'll say let's do it. Let's do it The elvenator you're about to progress your adventure chat. Is it time? That's act two Wait, is this act two right here? This place is huge. Don't go yet. Okay Okay Touch another innocent and I'll take your head near you care for the weak true soul Most curious And you waste your time persecuting them that is true weakness You dare speak to me without due reverence That was your first and last mistake trim The car about his heart and serve it to the rothay If he indeed is a true soul Let the absolute save him. Good god My oath Let us see which prevails This true soul has betrayed us Let his blood prove your devotion We really set us set ourselves up for bad. Okay. We're gonna run a bless on you and you Okay disarming attack They have not attacked So if I disarm you Saved action surge Another disarm 99 chance to hit Dang it hit, but it got saved. Oh my gosh. He gets two double attacks Oh my gosh, dude. Lazell is overpowered now and I have another off-hand attack left Should I try and a we these two? Oh my gosh, that's a big a we dude. Oh This guy is here Who's gonna attack next this guy is here. He's gonna attack next. Oh my gosh genius idea I'm gonna put gale over here. So he's he's out of range Okay, I'm gonna put Lazell here to be in between these two people to have a chance at getting attacked by both of them Two reposts and then two attacks of opportunity Oh my gosh, dude. She tried to thunder wave me into the lava and I got saved That was a lucky dude colossal onslaught channel your metals and strings strike all creatures online Oh my gosh Oh, yeah, look at this cleave right here Colossal onslaught on sergeant thrin luck of the far realms guaranteed crit Holy What the and then I have the bonus attack. I can run into this Cleave. Oh my gosh, dude. There's a chance a small chance that I can kill both of these guys Miss miss dude. I missed on both Miss miss. I think she misses No Wait, what how did gale get pushed in the lava? How did he get pushed in the lava? Can I can I can I pull him out? um Wait, did he just wait gale is a what gale's gonna live wait on I just kind of missed Repose look at the big repose. Okay. Hold on on. He has nine health left passives turn off my great weapon master Come on. This was kill Huge dude, dude, I feel like his loot is gonna be insane. I don't want to waste it Okay weak grip. What does that do? He has disadvantage on attack rolls and strength saving rolls Shield of screams Just don't shoot shadow horse Okay, I'm healing. I'm healing Nice. Okay, so I'm gonna save now. I've missed you sexy Wow, dude, that was an amazing fight Okay, lava valve You know that's what we're forging got the iron man. I was literally just gonna go to bed after this, man Level eight 300 health. Am I supposed to be here? I'm just running the lava to hit him Uh, did he just hit this thing and cause more lava to come out? I wonder if a lightning damage against this thing is just like, oh, okay. It took a zero damage for one 28 damage Eight, dude. Oh my gosh the freaking right character. Are you romancing the most and why is it carlac? I'm romancing myself Take you Okay, we're gonna raise lazele And lazele will second win Dude, I feel like I'm owning like he's he's already half health Oh s-fan is incapacitated. He is lethargic for Oh because of haste consumed by the exhaustion of the aftermath of haste Nice Oh, no attack opportunity again. Nice Dude, I am I am not worried of the slightest actually You idiots s-fan. Why'd you fall? He's the carry dude. He's the big damn. Okay Okay, drop the heal on s-fan. I'm thinking about how I can even do this Maybe maybe if I throw And I throw the torch at him. Okay Threat assessment prime target. Okay Now I jump to the center I am now have aggro of him. He always attacks last target. He's going to run through the lava and he's gonna get super heated again. Okay In turn gala's dunzo, but he's gonna get burned in the lava here. Oh, no, no, no Try this randomly gonna try that Oh my god, wait What a fight dude, dude, that was so sick. That was so good, dude