 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous caressable hair bring you our miss brook starring Eve Arden Yes, it's time once again for Eve Arden in another comedy episode of our miss brooks written by Al Lewis Well the football fever is sweeping through our schools once more and Madison high school where our miss brooks teaches English is no exception No indeed most of the kids at Madison eat sleep and talk nothing but football Of course, it doesn't affect me one way or another when I start my class in the morning I simply bark the signal for order call my monitors into a huddle and with a single wing to the right do a Reverse line buck through the second act of Macbeth Last Wednesday when Walter Denton one of my pupils joined my landlady mrs. Davis and me at breakfast I chided him about not doing his homework properly. His reaction was instantaneous I don't see how you can say that miss brooks. Why ever since the fall term started. I've been doing my football religiously No, quite sure Walter that those little coffee cakes and some milk will be enough for you. No, ma'am That's all I've got in the house. Oh, then it'll be enough Boys are realistic. I wish I had something else to offer you a growing boy should eat a big breakfast Especially an athlete like Walter athlete. Yeah, I told mrs. Davis about it before you came into breakfast miss brooks I'm going out for the team this year. I've just got to get my letter you but Walter You don't seem to have too much aptitude for athletics Who hasn't all the only reason I didn't make the football team last year was because I hurt my arm trying out for the baseball team Did you make the baseball team dear? Oh, no, mrs. Davis, but only because I hurt my foot trying to get my arm in track And I'd have made that too if my ribs weren't so sore from water polo Well, that's one thing about Walter if he doesn't get his aim from Madison. He'll get it from the Mayo Brothers Clinic Maybe you'll be luckier this season Walter now as soon as you finish moistening your fingers and picking cake crumbs off the table cloth We can get started for school. Okay, miss Brooks. Gee if I do make the team I'll be playing alongside my pal stretch not grass. He's one of the best athletes Madison ever had you know Really? Sure. He's a three-letter man. He's a three-letter man in my English class, too after a b and c He's a goner Well, we're almost there miss Brooks It will park down by the athletic field if you don't mind stretch might be working out early this morning All right, Walter. You're certainly fond of the kid, aren't you? Yeah, he's my buddy miss Brooks And I want you to know that we're sure grateful you for keeping him eligible this year Gosh, if you didn't help him with his studies after school, I don't know what would happen. I do Well, here's the football field. I'll just roll up these windows and lock the door Well, you've got the ball. Why aren't you running with it? Gee, it came right through the window. Are you all right miss Brooks? If I am I owe it all to my shatterproof skin Gee, I'm sorry folks. I don't usually kick them that crooked. Oh, that's okay stretch Gosh, look at all that glass. Lucky the laces weren't cut that football is school property I'm school property too. Let's take a look at my laces Well, I'm sure glad you're okay miss Brooks The reason I'm working out this early is because they're remodeling my room at home And I had to sleep on our drafty back portion. I got a bad king in my leg You got a king in your leg Yeah, you know like when you pull a lingamant Yeah, those lingamants can sure cause a lot of trouble Room stretch. Well, you know our living quarters are behind my father's pet shop Yeah And dad got a big shipment of marmosets in the other day and he needs more space But it's only temporary it'll take a few weeks to switch the bedrooms around then I'll be back indoors again Yeah, but meantime you can get a bad draft and pull another lingamant Or even bruise the tendon No kidding stretch. You got to find another place to sleep. Walter's right stretch Wait a minute. Haven't you got an aunt who lives alone? You mean the one you met at the movies the other night? Yes, she seemed inordinately fond of you. Oh, that's just the way she acts. She really likes me But she lives way out on Clark street, that's halfway to clay city Look, if you're worried about getting to school in the morning stretch I'll be happy to pick you up and drive you in after all if we're going to be on a football team together We'll be practicing a lot in the mornings. Gee. That's awful. Nice of you, Walter I'll call out mini before school this morning. I'm sure she won't mind and then I'll have my dad move my things out there in our Truck. Oh great. Maybe the marmosets would carry them over for you I'm sure glad you got the idea for me to move miss brooks. That porch is pretty drafty Well, I'm going to practice a little while longer. Well, how about you, Walter? Want to work out? Oh sure stretch. How about you miss brooks? Want to watch? No, thanks, Walter. I'd better get into school. Mr. Conklin wants to see me before my first class Well, okay, but you don't know what you're missing whole stretch here sure has an educated toe Good. Let's let's hope it may one day spread to his brain Miss brooks, I've summoned you here to my office to commend you for the splendid work you're doing with stretch snodgrass Well, thank you, mr. Conklin But you've got to keep that boy eligible for football if Madison's team doesn't make a presentable showing this season I'll never hear the end of it from jason brill clay city's principal the same He's the bane of my existence miss brooks. We've been rivals a good many years Oh, even before you were principles of rival schools before we were teachers Even in state normal. I found him abnormal He'll go to any lengths to defeat and embarrass me now Brill phoned me last night and said he'd be dropping in to see me this morning He said he'd have a juicy bit of news for me. Well, if he thinks he's got juicy news for me I've got still juicier news for him. Do you know what it is miss brooks? You're opening an orange aid stand I just learned that biff mooney one of the greatest college football players is interested in a high school coaching job in this part of the country I've already opened negotiations for his services by mail and it's a foregone conclusion that he'll accept my offer I can't wait until I see the expression on brills face when I tell him about it In some states that laugh would be banned Come in Well, good morning osgood. Good morning to you jason I have a juicy bit of news for you this morning And I have a juicy bit of news for you too osgood. Oh, pardon me. How are you miss brook juicy? Thanks Osgood, I've just signed biff mooney to coach the clay city football team this season Well, isn't that nice now. I'll just tell you what I've got up my face Remember that expression you were waiting to see on mr. Brill's face. Yes, you're wearing it Now see here brill in the first place I don't believe a man like mooney would be knucklehead enough to sign with your outfit But even if he has a good coach can't make a team without material material While last season our backs went through your line like it was damp cheesecloth Well, it's not going to be that way this season mr. Brill Go ahead miss brooks. Tell him this season. It's going to be dry cheesecloth We've got some great players on the squad players like stretch snodgrass stretch snodgrass. Who's he? That's him What was that? If pardon me osgood. Is that a football in your lap or have you gone off your diet? I've told those kids a thousand times go come in Well, I'm awful. Sorry, mr. Conklin. I'm afraid I kicked my football in here I'm afraid you did stretch, but I don't understand why I thought I told you to confine your practicing to the other end of the field But I did mr. Conklin. That's where I kicked it from Well, there's absolutely no excuse in the world if he Nice kick boy You mean to tell me that that ball was propelled here by that boy's foot It wasn't flown here by one of his blue j corn plasters That mr. Brill is our stretch snodgrass one of the greatest triple threat quarterbacks in the country stretch This is mr. Brill principle of clay city high. Hi, sir. Hello, son You tell me where did you learn to kick like that? Oh, it's just natural with me, I guess But if you don't mind, I'd rather not discuss football no more this morning I just got some bad news about my pal wallard dentin. He's been cut off the football squad Why stretch because he was the 29th man on it and we only got 28 uniforms Well, it would be a little embarrassing if he was sent in as a substitute I don't see how a spindly pipit like dentin could go out for the team in the first place He couldn't carry a football in a wheelbarrow Please mr. Conklin you're talking about my pal. There's nothing he wouldn't do for me Gosh, when he heard I was moving out to my aunt's place on clark street He even offered to pick me up every morning. Did you say you were moving to clark street? Yes, sir. It's way out in the 3,900 block. Yeah, but that's halfway to clay city Why you're in a district that Why don't we have lunch together this afternoon boy? Say in the school cafeteria about 12 just the two of us From the picture you were meant for me Now see here bril it'll be boy. Do you kick them that far often? Well without I should do any boasting I almost never done no kicking which the ball don't travel over 70 80 yards hardly Amazing and how do you pass in english by the skin of his teeth? Our miss brook starring eve arden will continue in just a moment But first here is verne smith now proof that brushing teeth right after eating with colgate dental cream helped stop Tooth decay before it starts continuous research hundreds of case histories Makes this the most conclusive proof in all dentiferous research on tooth decay Eminent dental authorities who provides hundreds of college men and women for over two years One group always brushed their teeth with colgates right after eating the other followed their usual dental care The group using colgate dental cream as directed using colgates exclusively Showed a startling reduction in average number of cavities far less tooth decay The other group developed new cavities at a much higher rate No other dentiferous offers proof of these results modern research indicates decay is caused by mouth acids Which are at their worst after meals or snacks when you brush your teeth with colgates right after eating You help remove acids before they can harm enamel Yes, colgates contains all the necessary ingredients including an exclusive patented ingredient for effective daily dental care And remember colgates cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth Always use colgate dental cream right after eating to help prevent new cavities help stop tooth decay before it starts All during my morning classes. I worried about jason brill having lunch with madison star quarterback When I communicated my fears to mr. Conklin. He said miss brooks We've got to find out what that blagout is up to at all costs So when lunch period finally rolled around I followed the blaggard into the school restaurant And borrowed an apron from one of the girls behind the steam table Uh, come over here to this corner table stretch. We won't be disturbed here. Okay, mr. Brill Hey now sit down my boy Now then there's something I must talk to you about in strictest confidence In strictest confidence it concerns your football career. Who gets the lima beans? Yeah, miss brooks. I I thought this was a self-service cafeteria Oh, it is mr. Brill except when we have a distinguished visitor like yourself Then I like to see that he's well taken care of I brought you each the blue plate Just what I wanted succotash and lima beans. Thanks, miss brooks. You're perfectly welcome stretch Now, please continue with your confidential conversation gentlemen You were saying mr. Brill that you want to yeah, I wanted to tell you what a lovely day it is Sunshineing not a bit humid although cumulus clouds do seem to be gathering in the east In fact, it looks like we might be in for a bit of a blow. This is going to be a weather report I might as well blow too. I'll go get some dessert for you. Do that You now then stretch I'll come right to the point in your present address on clock streets You're eligible to enter clay city high and that's what I want you to do transfer immediately transfer from Madison Exactly you said yourself that your pal walter dentin couldn't get on your football team because there's no uniform for him Isn't that right? Yeah, well every american boy should have the right to play football Shouldn't he of course he should now with you off the medicine team There'd be another uniform available for walter Well, I never thought of it like that. Well, think of it On economy walter won't get to play at all. He'll never get his letter and Gosh Find pal. I am yes. I don't know why he even talks to you Now stretch i've got to get back to clay city high at once But I've arranged for our new coach biff mooney to meet you outside your main gate after school Biff mooney, is he your new coach? Of course now biff will accompany you to your parent's stretch and get their consent to the transfer It's just a formality. You understand. Yes, sir. I guess if it's gonna help walter I'll have to do it But I hate to think of what mr. Conklin will say when he hears about this don't forget about mr Conklin We know that what we're doing is right. It's for our pal's happiness There's absolutely no reason to be afraid of mr. Conklin Then I'll go right down and ask him for the transfer. You wait boy. Wait till I get out of the building So you see mr. Conklin every time I got near the table. They were talking about the weather Ah, well, perhaps our fears were exaggerated mr. Brooks granted brill might try to get away with something. Come in Well, it's stretch snodgrass come right in my boy. Sit down here. Take my chair sit by the window Shall I open it for you? Do you want the fan on? Hot towel pedicure Mr. Conklin, you don't know what I'm here for if you're worried about that window you broke this morning forget it What a kick that was Thanks, but but you still don't know what I want mr. Conklin name it and it's yours. What is it you want my boy? I want to transfer to clay city high Certainly I'll just sit down at my desk get a pen and fill out the necessary transfer to clay city high Cut gore penicillin That's pirate What poppycock did brill feed you at lunch stretch? Well, he didn't feed me no poppycock. It was succotash Well, he can't get away with it this time no matter what he told you you can't transfer to clay city You don't live in their district. Oh, I do now What? Well, I use them too, but I do now You see sir, I've moved in with my aunt and she lives right near clay city Moved in with your aunt and whose bright idea was that if you'll excuse me. I'm gonna lie down somewhere Miss brooks in front of a streetcar. I think Oh, let me explain mr. Conklin stretch was sleeping in the draft and I thought it would that's your trouble miss brooks You think too much Stretch your parents know about this transfer yet. No, sir. They just know I'm gonna live with Aunt Mamie But I'm meeting biff mooney after school and he's gonna ask him for their permission stretch Let me ask you a question in all the years you've been here. Mr. Conklin has always treated you fairly hasn't he I'll rephrase the question In fact, I'll forget it Just promise me that you'll drop into my classroom after school today Sure miss brooks. That is if somebody'll tell biff mooney to wait for me We'll take care of biff stretch now. Remember. I want you to come to my classroom immediately after school Okay, miss brooks. See you later. Right stretch. Bye, mr. Conklin not goodbye stretch. Just aloha Well miss brooks it was you who got us into this situation and I'll get us out of it And I think I can mr. Conklin. I think I've got a plan a plan Supposing instead of being taken to stretcher's house biff mooney were taken to my house I don't understand stretch wouldn't take him to your house No, the real stretch wouldn't and stretch's real parents won't be there either But biff mooney doesn't know stretch from a hole in the ground. Does he Come in Oh, it's walter dentin. I was just looking for harry and i got mr. Conklin shake hands with a hole in the ground I just can't believe that your stretch not grass. Oh, sure. I am mr. Mooney Who did you think was well, you just don't sound like mr. Brill said you would the way he described it you talked well differently What's the way I talked got anything to do with gee? I ain't never said nothing to get insulted for it by nobody hardly I take it all back Well, this is the house mr. Mooney come on in my old lady always leaves the door open for me. All right stretch Oh, there's my dear old mom and their rocker mom. I want you should meet biff mooney I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance mrs. Not grass likewise. I'm sure mr. Mooney If you'll pardon my saying so ma'am you seem hardly old enough to be the mother of such a big boy ain't it the truth Now what can we do for your coach coach? Well, how did you know I was a football coach? Well, it's a cinch. You don't crochet no doilies for a living What a built on him We need a transfer from madison to clay city. Hi ma. Oh now that's a serious step. I know it is mrs. Slavres You see it's for the boys own good. And that's why I'm here today to get you to acquiesce Stretch this guy's getting fresh. Trun him out Don't you see ma'am we just want your sanction my what? Uh, you're okay. You're okay, too. But what do you want? We want stretch to transfer to play city. Hi. Well, I don't know this here madison learns him pretty good I think we'll keep him where he's at. Oh, please mr. Snodgrass. I don't don't be hasty Maybe we should discuss this with mr. Snodgrass as well. Oh, sure pops right in the next room. I'll call him Meet the little man mr. Mooney. I'm delighted to know you mr. Snodgrass Yous are too kind We'd like to get your permission for stretch to transfer to clay city. Hi mr. Snodgrass. Oh, it's a wonderful school. Nothing doing Transfers is for street cars No, no our boy wouldn't be happy in no clay city. Hi that their school just don't offer no advantages know how You don't offer nothing know how I don't see how you fox can folks can talk like this. Believe me it ain't easy I gotta go get supper ready pa. You get rid of uh, say goodbye to mr. Mooney for me whenever he leaves like right away. I hope Okay, ma See you later. Well, I guess that's a story mr. Mooney. No now wait stretch Uh, mr. Snodgrass if you let me tell you something about clay city. Nothing doing I ain't taking any chances with my only child's happiness. I I love this boy Get out of here and help your ma in the kitchen You see mr. Moon. I love you too, papa I know Now mr. Mooney if you Stretch what are you hanging around for? Kiss me papa He's such an affectionate little jerk a youngster We've always been quite close. Excuse me daddy, but I saw your car outside and the door was open It's my daughter harriet harriet go away child But daddy just a minute. I thought you said that stretch was your only child Stretch your brother harriet I'm going out into the kitchen your mother will explain the whole thing to you Oh, is mother here? Stop the question. Just go in and see the doctor's on the table pa Well, if it isn't nice How nice to see you. Why don't you go home to your mother? She did come home to her mother ma I guess it's time. We told you harriet. I am your mother Father and I your father and me. We've been secretly married for 16 years I'm over 17. I was hoping you wouldn't notice it What is this all about mr. Snodgrass? I demand to know the truth Mrs. Snodgrass Maybe you might as well know the whole story harriet as a poor but honest immigrant. I entered this country illegally Your mother and I started out from the old country together, but I your mother couldn't make it They shot me at the border Of course years later. I was smuggled into the country with a group of oriental laborers Don't look down your nose at me girl. I helped build boulder dam Snodgrass, mr. Snodgrass, mr. Brooks ain't mr. Snodgrass. My mother's mr. Snodgrass Go away boy. We're busy. But mr. Conklin. I waited in mr. Brooks classroom like she said Mr. Conklin, mr. Brooks say what is all this and who are you? I'm stretch snodgrass Stretch snodgrass. Oh, did you call me biff? Are you biff mooney? Well, I was when I came in here, but right now I Oh, it was absurd to think that this ridiculous scheme would work This is the real stretch snodgrass mr. Mooney If he wants a transfer, I guess there's nothing we can do to stop him and after all that iodine I used at the border But I won't need no transfer now mr. Conklin That's what I come over to tell miss Brooks I talked to the manager of the football team just now and he said they're getting another uniform So waller can be on the team too. Oh boy, that's great stretch Instead of living with your aunt you can move in with me. You can move in with me You can move in with you can sleep in the gym Now miss Brooks returns in just a moment, but first dream girl dream girl beautiful Luster cream girl Tonight. Yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives k doomed its magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle aniline Not a soap not a liquid luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragmently clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen Soft manageable even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight. Yes tonight try luster cream shampoo Dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to A luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well after the smoke had cleared away and also walter stretch and harriott Mr. Conklin and I took a very bewildered biff mooney by the arms and pointed him toward the nearest streetcar And now mr. Mooney you may return to your unscrupulous employer and tell him that once again He has been soundly defeated by superior brain power. Thank you, mr. Conklin I did get a contract for mr. Brill, but if he's going to get me into things like this all the time I've got a good mind not sign it. Well, if you'll excuse me now Hold on there boy. You say you haven't signed your coaching contract with clay city. That's right, sir. Well Mr. Mooney, why don't we have dinner together at my place? There's something I'd like to discuss with you I guess that could be arranged fine. We'll have dinner at eight Care to join us miss Brooks. No, thanks. I'm going to clay city tonight to see the fireworks Uh fireworks unless I've miscalculated if you and biff are having dinner at eight Mr. Brill should be blowing his top at nine Next week soon into another our miss brook show brought to you by luster cream Sambu for soft glamorous caressible hair and cold gate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth And help stop tooth decay our miss brooks starring eve arden is produced by larry burns directed by al louis with music by wilbur hatch Mr. Conklin was played by gale gordon Others in tonight's cast were jane morgan dick crena gloria mcmillan lennard smith frank nelson and life errickson Men do you shave with the lather or brushless shave cream palm olive shaving cream comes both ways And whichever way you prefer to shave you'll find that using either palm olive brushless or palm olive lather shaving cream Can bring you more comfortable actually smoother shaves. Here's the proof 2548 men tried the new palm olive way to shave described on the tube And no matter how they had shaved before three out of every four got more comfortable Actually smoother shaves Get palm olive brushless or palm olive lather shaving cream today Our mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs listen to mr. and mrs. north The exciting fun packed adventures of an amateur detective and his beautiful wife Tune in tuesday evening over most of these same stations and be with us again next week at the same time For another comedy episode of our miss brooks bobleman speaking This is cds the rumbia broadcasting system