 Test 914-013-0 Name? Technician Lantern Date? February 7th, 2016 Total items? 4 kilograms worth of quartz crystals, with a ratio of 15 to 60 mm in length. Note? Relax, this time I'm paying for it. By the way, why does the room smell like bacon? Technician Lantern Input? 1 kilogram of aforementioned quartz. Setting? Fine. Output? A large quartz tuning fork. Ones tapped lightly against the wall of the testing chamber. With a side effect of temporary hearing loss. Note? Mm-hmm. That fits my hypothesis, let's try again. Technician Lantern Input? 1 kilogram of aforementioned quartz. Setting? Fine. Output? A swarm of crystalline hornets. Behaved as normal hornets would, but were significantly more durable due to composition. The swarm swiftly targeted Technician Lantern, but were subdued before significant harm could be done. Note? I hate it when I'm right. Screw it. The rest goes in the next batch. Technician Lantern Input? 2 kilograms of aforementioned quartz. Setting? Fine. Output? Setting of polished quartz, 18 centimeters in diameter, levitating off of the ground. Object emitted a continuous ringing and produced light. Audio picked up from the testing chamber after all objects were removed. Are you trying to give me away, you idiotic machine? Father, above. I'm sorry for whatever I did. Just stop trying to get me fired. Test? 914-0131 Name? Dr. Veritas. Date? February 8, 2016. Total items? 5 identical notes, written and copied by Dr. Veritas, reading Are You Sentient? Input? 1 note. Setting? Course. Output? A puddle of ink and a small pile of wood pulp. Input? 1 note. Setting? 1-1. Output? 1 note of similar sized reading? Are you capable of feeling, perceiving, and experiencing subjectively? Handwriting does not match Dr. Veritas. Input? 1 note. Setting? Fine. Output? 1 note of similar sized containing an excerpt from the 1641 Treatise Meditation on First Philosophy by René Descartes in Latin. That reads Ego Sum, Ego Existo, Quotes Amoeb Perpreter, Velmente Concipitor, Nasario Eseverum. English, I am, I exist, whenever it is uttered from me or conceived by the mind, necessarily is true. Input? 1 note. Setting? Very fine. Output? 1 note of similar sized containing an excerpt from the essay? An essay concerning human understanding by philosopher John Locke reading. This source of ideas, every man has wholly in himself, and though it not be sense, as having nothing to do with external objects, yet it is very like it, and might properly enough be called internal sense. Note, the goal of this test was communicating with SCP-914, and discovering if it's self-aware. Let's write that one up as inconclusive, Dr. Beritas. Test-914-0132 Name, Dr. Kowalski Date, February 9th, 2016 Total items, three copies of the February 9th, 2016 edition of The New York Times Input, one item mentioned above. Setting, one, one Output, one copy of the February 9th, 2016 edition of the Cleveland, Ohio plane dealer Cross-checking with another copy of this issue reveals the contents are identical Input, one item mentioned above. Setting, fine Output, one copy of the February 9th, 2016 edition of The New York Times Cross-checking with another copy of the issue reveals numerous differences in the text. These mainly consist of the correction of factual errors, as well as the markup of stylistic errors in a manner resembling that of a red pen. Note, the Film Critics column completely contradicts the original. Dr. Kowalski Input, one item mentioned above. Setting, very fine. One copy of the February 10th, 2016 edition of The New York Times Cursory examination of the result reveals large blank sections. The final four pages are completely devoid of any content. Contents of text and advertisements are in constant flux. Articles about contemporaneous events appear and are revised only after the relevant events occur. Note, it seems like we're seeing the draft take shape on the actual newsprint. Interesting. Dr. Kowalski Test 914-0133 Name, Dr. Hadian Date, February 15th, 2016 Total items, five complete decks of tarot cards Input, one complete deck of tarot cards Setting, coarse Output, a fine dust containing particles of wood and plastic Input, one complete deck of tarot cards Setting, rough Output, a loose pile of ink-stained cards Input, one complete deck of tarot cards Setting, 1-1 Output, a complete deck of tarot cards, shuffled Input, one complete deck of tarot cards Setting, fine Output, a deck of tarot cards with three drawn out and placed in a row in front of it An upside-down king of cups An upside-down three, the emperous And a right-side-up two of cups Input, one complete deck of tarot cards Setting, very fine Output, an orbicular device resembling a magic eight-ball, composed entirely of wood and plastic The device accurately and consistently answered simple questions, stored securely for future testing Note, I asked it if I would have any girlfriends for the next two years The answer is more depressing than I thought Dr. Whittig Input, one tarot card, removed from one of the previous decks Setting, very fine Output, a small business card with the words, Dr. Hadean will win the lottery tonight, printed neatly on it Note, that last one didn't come true Figures, Dr. Hadean Test, 914-0134 Name, Dr. Hadean Date, March 3rd, 2016 Total items, three homemade stress balls made from balloons and rice grains Input, one of the above-mentioned stress balls Setting, 1-1 Output, a small beanbag, similar to that used by professional jugglers Input, one of the above-mentioned stress balls Setting, fine Output, an unaltered stress ball A stress ball that, at random intervals between a minute and five minutes in length, hurls itself at the face of the person in closest proximity to it If the face is covered, or otherwise protected, it will alternatively aim for the stomach or crotch Objects secured and destroyed Note, I'm guessing it took the idea of a stress ball very literally Output, Dr. Hadean One of the above-mentioned stress balls Setting, very fine Output, a palm-sized teddy bear, stuffed with plastic beads The object is animate, and seems to have a fascination with cuddling, nuzzling ankles, and infrequently request signs of affection Object contained for further study Note, and whoever decides to look into this farther, be nice to the little guy alright? Dr. Hadean Note, we're all thinking it, and I'll be the one to say it This is eerily similar to SCP-1048 Requesting it be fitted with a tracker Dr. Clinton Test 914-0135 Name, Agent Ackle Date, March 20th, 2016 Total items, five bottles of Johnny Walker whiskey Input, one bottle of whiskey, setting, fine Output, one bottle of Laga Bullen Scotch Input, one bottle of whiskey, setting, one, one Output, one bottle of vodka Input, one bottle of whiskey, setting, fine Output, one bottle of Balvany 40-year-old whiskey Input, one bottle of whiskey, setting, very fine Output, one un-March 50ml glass bottle, filled with a clear, purple-flecked liquid Liquid tastes like high-class bourbon, and has an alcohol content of 55% Subjects who ingest liquid report extreme euphoria Input, one bottle of whiskey, setting, coarse Output, a pile of glass shards, and a puddle of water and malt Input, one bottle of vodka, from a previous test Setting, very fine Output, five miniature bottles of Korz vodka Test 914-0136 Name, Dr. Hadian Date, March 30th, 2016 Total items, three unsolved Sudoku puzzles and three unsolved crossword puzzles Input, an unsolved Sudoku puzzle, setting, one, one Output, an unsolved Sudoku puzzle The numbers have been changed around, it no longer resembles the original puzzle Input, an unsolved Sudoku puzzle, setting, fine Output, a solved Sudoku puzzle, complete with margin notes and scribbling Input, an unsolved Sudoku puzzle, setting, very fine Output, a massive grid comprised of many smaller squares, resembling a large Sudoku puzzle The grid contains several characters not normally found in a standard 9x9 Sudoku square including several Greek letters, various unidentified pictographs, arrows, and kanji Note, this result has been photocopied and enlarged if anybody wants to take a crack at it Dr. Hadian Input, an unsolved crossword puzzle, setting, one, one Output, an unsolved word search Input, an unsolved crossword puzzle, setting, fine Output, a brief typed letter requesting the meanings of various short phrases which are identical to the clues given in the crossword Input, an unsolved crossword puzzle, setting, very fine Output, a crumpled up piece of paper, launched at high velocity and trailing smoke Note, yeah, I never really liked those things either Dr. Hadian Input, 914-0137 Name, Dr. Greer Date, April 2, 2016 Total Items Three unopened spray cans of Fox Labs' white lightning brand pepper spray Input, one spray can Setting, rough Output, several piles of metal and plastic scraps Several puddles of various chemicals and a small puddle of oleorescent capsicum Input, one spray can Setting, one, one Output, one unopened spray can of Fox Labs' main green brand pepper spray Input, one spray can Setting, very fine Output, one miniature chili pepper Chemical testing revealed a Scoville heat rating of over 300 million, making it by far the hottest chili in the world Test, 914-0138 Name, Dr. Ersini Date, April 20, 2016 Total Items Three 9mm magazines for a standard Glock 19 Input, one magazine is stated above Setting, 1-1 Output, one magazine for the UMP-45, with the same amount of ammunition, causing the magazine to be somewhat empty Input, one magazine is stated above Setting, fine Output, one magazine, seemingly identical to the input Item has no effect when fired on inanimate objects When fired at a human target, the target experiences traumatic memories of being shot, and will fully believe that they have been shot, and will disregard others trying to tell them otherwise Note, possible use for interrogation by the Foundation, Dr. Ersini Input, one magazine is stated above Setting, very fine Output, when fired, the bullets actively seek out a human target However, the bullet still loses velocity as per normal, and the turning speed of the bullet can cause it to orbit around a human until it loses all kinetic energy Note, testing further with that magazine denied, we can't risk it flying through the corridors and causing a containment breach Dr. Ersini Test, 914-0139 Name, Dr. Armand and Agent McKnight Date, May 6, 2016 Total Items, three copies of The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien Input, one copy of The Lord of the Rings Setting, 1-1 Output, three smaller books One copy of The Fellowship of the Ring One copy of The Two Towers And one copy of The Return of the King It should be noted that these books make up The Lord of the Rings trilogy Input, one copy of The Lord of the Rings Setting, fine Output, a polished gold-colored ring made of compressed paper On the ring was the poem described in The Lord of the Rings, inscribed in Black Beach When worn, it was found that the ring fits all sizes and grew or shrank to accommodate the wearer No other anomalous properties were exhibited Input, one copy of The Lord of the Rings Setting, very fine Output, book approximately one-third the page count of The Lord of the Rings New book entitled A New Shadow Plot centered around a boy named Eldarion It should be noted that a book with the same title was scrapped by J. R. R. Tolkien and therefore was never published Note, you can have the ring, Aramond, but I want the book. I'm going to copy this thing. Any Tolkien fans want to read it? Agent McKnight Test, 914-0140 Name, Dr. Swinn Date, September 4th, 2016 Total items, three plastic Klein bottles Input, one Klein bottle, setting, coarse Output, small plastic cubes of various sizes Input, one Klein bottle, setting, 1-1 Output, two Mobius strips Input, one Klein bottle, setting, very fine Output Dimensional anomaly severely injured Dr. Swinn when attempting to remove it Item later imploded, leaving behind a pile of fine ground plastic Test, 914-0141 Name, Dr. Gerald's Date, November 5th, 2016 Total items, four printed images of Swastika Input, one printed image of Swastika Setting, 1-1 Output, one black and white photograph of Adolf Hitler Confirmed to be a copy of an existing photograph Input, one printed image of Swastika Setting, 1-1 Output, one printed image of the lotus symbol Which is common in Hindu iconography Input, one printed image of Swastika Setting, fine Output, a portrait of Adolf Hitler Hand painted in printer ink Object has not seen to resemble any such portrait currently in circulation Input, one printed image of Swastika Setting, fine Output, one highly detailed image of the Hindu god Lakshmi Test, 914-0142 Name, Dr. Gerald's Date, November 5th, 2016 Total items, one silver ring originally belonging to D-233-H7 Who described it as having been in her family for generations Two silver rings identical to the one owned by D-233-H7 Input, one unmarked silver ring Setting, fine Output, one silver pendant of Quality Make Input, one unmarked silver ring Setting, fine Output, one silver bracelet While wearing the bracelet, the subjects report feeling an increase in confidence and physical attractiveness No further anomalous properties exhibited Object placed in containment for further study Input, one unmarked silver ring previously owned by D-233-H7 Setting, very fine Output, one silver ring ingrained with the phrase in loving memory of Is confirmed to be a deceased relative of D-233-H7 Object placed into containment Note, this, combined with the last test, seems to strongly suggest that SCP-914 acts on the meaning humans apply to objects, rather than any self-aware view of them This certainly explains some of the behavior of SCP-914, but I still feel like we're missing something, Dr. Gerald's Test, 914-0143 Name, Dr. ████ Date, November 10, 2016 Total Items, 3 512GB thumb drives containing modern software for generation and multiplication of prime numbers of the type used in cryptography Input, one thumb drive as described above Setting, 1-1 Output, one thumb drive containing the first ████ Prime numbers Input, one thumb drive as described above Setting, fine Output, one thumb drive containing software designed to solve a variety of different known codes and ciphers, as well as some that are currently undocumented Input, one thumb drive as described above Setting, very fine Output, one thumb drive Object appears to have an internal quantum computing system, and when given encoded data will ████ Compared to any modern system Object placed into containment for further study Test, 914-0144 Name, researcher ████ Date, April 20, 2017 Total Items, 3 non-magnetic 1kg chunks of magnetite with an iron content of 50% by mass Magnetite acquired from the ████ Badlands Input, 1kg chunk of magnetite 50% iron content Setting, fine Output, 1 magnetized 1kg cube of magnetite With a magnetic field strong enough to cause compasses up to 10m away to point directly at it Input, 2 1kg chunks of magnetite 50% iron content Setting, 1-1 Output, 1kg chunk of pure iron and 1kg chunk of minerals revealed to have the same chemical composition as rock found in the ████ Badlands Test, 914-0145 Name, Dr. Marguion Date, May 5, 2017 Total Items, 5 plush bears Input, 1 plush bear Setting, rough Output, a large mound of stuffing and torn up fabric aforementioned fabric also had burns Input, 1 plush bear Setting, coarse Output, 1 ball of stuffing wrapped in fabric of bear Input, 1 plush bear Setting, 1-1 Output, 1 plush dog Input, 1 plush bear Setting, fine Output, aforementioned bear is remade out of velvet and is soft to the touch Input, 1 plush bear Setting, very fine Output, 1 animated plush bear Subject is harmless and will piggyback on anyone that is curious about It then will proceed to show large amounts of affection to the carrier Subject is currently being tested before clearing release to Dr. Marguion Test, 914-0146 Name, Dr. Grunsberg Date, May 6, 2017 Total Items, 5 DVD copies of 1999 motion picture of Matrix Input, 1 DVD copy of 1999 motion picture of Matrix Setting, rough Output, 1 small pile of polycarbonate plastic and powder form alongside trace amounts of ink Input, 1 DVD copy of 1999 motion picture of Matrix Setting, coarse Output, 1 blank DVD-RW circa year 2000 Input, 1 DVD copy of 1999 motion picture of Matrix Setting, 1-1 Output, 7 celluloid film reels adding up to a full showing of 1999 film of Matrix Plus trailers for films to release that same year Input, 1 DVD copy of 1999 motion picture of Matrix Setting, fine Output, 1 damage resistant DVD copy of 1999 motion picture of Matrix Input, 1 damage resistant DVD copy of 1999 motion picture of Matrix Setting, fine Output, 1 Blu-ray drive readable copy of 1999 motion picture of Matrix Exact disc format unknown As well as possessing the high resistance of the first fine output, the extra section of this disc was found to contain 20,000 times more material than present on the market product, of which SCP-914's version included but was not limited to All footage shot for behind the scenes featurettes Complete footage of every actor and actress auditions by film directors regardless of final employment All raw unedited footage shot by main cameras for the Matrix All 3D models and 2D assets used to create visual effects for the Matrix Every sound effect and musical cue and isolated audio files including all unused material with full Hollywood orchestration for concepts scrapped or forgotten by the film's composer plus dozens of remixes for licensed tracks Note, after multiple tests to ensure minimal levels of danger disc was included in carefully constructed anonymous package designated for delivery to household of one Due to last second discovery of sensitive production notes on disc that could jeopardize stability of film's parent production company, package was intercepted halfway to destination Input One Blu-ray dry readable copy of 1999 motion picture to Matrix Exact disc format unknown Setting Fine Output One Readable physical storage medium Object initially unreadable However, after 8 months of development A prototype for a new kind of storage reader Was built by Foundation researchers Upon successful reading Researchers found object that contained a bewildering array of data Dr. ██████ estimated that 99.999926% of content as entire raw, non-anomalous ██████ dating back to roughly 1877 The new unit of storage also features a 30-hour long documentary series A History Tented Green which explores how the Matrix fits into this timeline Various figures are interviewed in a featureless white room by what appears to be a young ██████ Of note is a joint interview of Samuel Clemens and Joseph Campbell Note 1 Dr. ██████ A noted film enthusiast entered a destructively excited emotional state upon learning a breath of content and, for projects protection, has been denied access to laboratory for studies duration. Requests for specific data from the object, however, are not to be rejected. No extraordinary data-handling rules currently require enforcement, although this may change if Dr. ██████ interest becomes a dangerous obsession. The object will be tested at a certain if recreation of new medium falls within safe limits. Input One DVD copy of 1999 motion picture The Matrix Setting Course Output One heavily worn BHS home video of Japanese school children acting out 1999 motion picture The Matrix in backyard Addendum One child has been successfully identified, with the others in progress. Approximately nine Foundation-tested anonymous packages are being designed, with fractal remastered content to be included within. Note 1 Package Air Mail to Address in Fukushima