 Welcome to Learn English Live. This is Tuesday, right? It's Tuesday, so Tuesday nights are the time where I meet with you for a live lesson. Now, it may not be Tuesday where you are. It might already be Wednesday morning for you really early. So let's see who is here in the chat. Take a look here. We have Dwee. Great to see you. Hello, Anna. Nice to see you as well. We have some wonderful channel supporters here. Some channel members. Gertrude. Hello, Gertie. Great to see you. So let's see here. Layla. Hello, Layla. I am doing well today. I am finally feeling better. Yeah, finally feeling better. So thank you so much for asking. Today's lesson is going to be about English conversations and emotions. So we're gonna, I'm going to ask you some questions that may be a little challenging for you. Not because of the English part of things, but just because they're going to be questions that will make you think about some situations you have experienced in the past that may have been emotional for you. Ah, hello, Monica. How are you? It's nice to see you. Okay, so let's see. How is everyone feeling today? Since we're talking about emotions in today's lesson, please type in the chat and let me know. How are you feeling today? I'm not talking about physically. I'm talking about how are you feeling emotionally today? How is your mental health going today? Let's take a look and see how everyone's feeling today. I am feeling well today. I am feeling encouraged by some positive, positive things that have happened during my day today. So let's see how others are feeling. I'm waiting anxiously. Vashuta, hello, Vashuta. Great to see you. Welcome to Learn English Live. So let me know, everyone, how you are feeling today. Let's see. I hope you guys can hear me. Okay, so Layla, I feel good, but a few days ago, I didn't feel good. Oh, Joe, it's great to see you. Welcome, Joe. I'm feeling better and better every day. Wonderful. So today's conversation is about emotions. So I'm not talking about are you, I'm sorry. Chika, stop. My dog Chika is so naughty. She's chewing on my husband's shoes. Chika, come here. Do you wanna come say hello? She's my mascot in my classroom, right? Come here, Chika, come on. Here she comes, guys. Okay, so animals are very good for our emotional health, right? Animals have been found to actually make a big impact on the emotional and mental well-being of pet owners. So I'm feeling enthusiastic because my daughter got a job today. Gertie, don't forget to use your article. Mariana, I'm feeling a little bit disappointed, but fine. Elmer, hello. Welcome to Learn English Live tonight. We are talking about emotions and how we can support one another by using specific words and sentences during emotional conversations. So let's go ahead and get started with the lesson today. I'm sorry, you're feeling a little disappointed. Monica, I hope that maybe your spirits will improve as the week moves on closer to the weekend. So in this lesson, we will type answers in the chat. So I'm going to present a question and I would like for you to answer the question in the chat, okay? I will help if there are words that we're not sure about. So let's begin. When has your personal bias led to a wrong choice? When has your personal bias led to a wrong choice? I'm wondering if we need some help on the word bias. We can look up that word if we're not sure what the word bias means. When has your personal bias led to a wrong choice? Good, Gertie, great. Great correction. So type in the chat, let me know if you have questions. Do you understand the question? Do you have an example? Type your response. Okay, Joe, that's perfect. If you don't understand the question, I will, ah, so, ah, I'm looking now. I apologize, let me fix it. I will fix it right now, thank you. We'll fix it. When has your personal your, there we go. Now you can see it. When has your personal bias led to a wrong choice? So we will look up what the word bias means, right? I think that's the first problem. We need to look up the word bias, so let's go ahead and go to our, again, my favorite dictionary, and this is due to Robin, is the Oxford Learners' Dictionary, so let's check up bias. What does bias mean? So we have bias, which means a strong feeling in favor of or against one group of people or one side of an argument, in an argument, often not based on fair judgment. So I will put this in the, I'll put this on a slide for us. So we will be able to understand it. Let's just take a look at this example. Okay, so here is the definition of bias. Hey, Jonathan, great to see you. Saul, nice to see you here as well. So bias is a strong feeling in favor of or against one group of people. Let me fix this since it's still not, make it a little bit smaller. So bias, the definition of bias is a strong feeling in favor of or against one group of people or one side in an argument, often not based on fair judgment. So going back to our question, when has, excuse me, when has your personal bias led to a wrong choice? So Elmer, a person whose bias can be a hypocrite. Okay, we'll talk about that in a minute. So if you are biased against people from a certain country, you can make wrong choices. So for example, we talked about okay, so I live in the state of Illinois and a common theme is that people from Illinois will say, people from the south are hicks, hicks. Hick is a word that means there's someone who is uneducated. They don't, they don't do things that are interesting. They live in the country and they eat wild animals that they kill and it's a negative term, a hick is a negative term. Now, is that true? No, there are many people who live in the southern states of the United States who are very talented, educated people and they are not hicks. So if I met someone from Texas and I said, oh, they're from the south, they're a hick, well, guess what? Maybe I'm missing out on knowing an amazing person because my personal bias got in the way. So when has your personal bias, your beliefs about people or places, when has it led to a wrong choice? This also has to do with racism, being racist and sexist, biased towards people from different races, biased towards people who practice certain religions, biased towards people from certain countries, when has your personal bias led to a wrong choice? Does anyone have any examples? So my friend is from Ecuador and he has made comments about people from Venezuela. He says that Ecuadorians think that all Venezuelans are criminals. Well, that's not true. He has a personal bias towards people from Venezuela. So I'm gonna wait and see if anyone has any comments about a time you have made a bad decision, a bad choice because you had a personal bias. So love Kumar, great response. You're saying usually I avoid personal bias when I am treating people, when I'm dealing with other people. So Leila, have you ever met someone and maybe they practice a different religion than you do? So you don't want to have a conversation with them? So Elmer says in Texas, we call small towns a one horse town. Means there isn't much going on there. Oh, you live in a small town, then you don't know what it's like to live in a big city and you are boring. That is your personal bias, okay? Let's see if we have any other responses. I need to plug in my phone, my battery is low. I'm gonna have to get my charger. Okay, so Joe, do you have any times or Jonathan, have you ever made a wrong choice in maybe in business because of a personal bias? Let me know. So the saying don't judge a book by its cover is a great idiom, which means don't judge something based on the way it looks, right? You never know what that person will be like on the inside. Okay, I think we're gonna go ahead and move on to the next question, which is not quite as challenging. Okay, so Leila says in the past, I made a wrong choice towards some people. But now I try to avoid this feeling. So I'm going to, going to, we're gonna add something here. Escape, we're gonna add a slide here. Incorrect, Leila's sentence. So in the past, I made a wrong choice towards some people, wrong choice towards some people, but now I try to avoid this feeling, okay? So Anna, this question is meaning have your personal thoughts about people based on their race, religion, gender ever made you get to where you made a bad decision? Gertrude, I had an idea that New York City is a noisy and dirty city and I have been there and for me, New York is an amazing city. So that is a great explanation of she had a personal bias thinking New York City was a dirty place that was noisy and she changed her mind when she visited because she learned it's an amazing city. M7MD not eating Indian food because I hate Indian movies. After a while, I figured out how much of an idiot I was. That is fantastic, I love it. And Gertrude says it is an amazing city, yes. And their food is awesome and they actually make great films. Yes, I agree. Vashuda, when I was watching a show, I thought the opposite team, when I was watching a show, I thought the opposite team was playing without cheating. Actually, they were cheating, but I was biased because it was my favorite team. Awesome, guys, we're getting there. These are great responses. Saw one. Yes, you think one bad cop makes all cops bad. Let's fix that. You think one bad cop, you think one bad cop makes all cops bad. Good, excellent. Okay, guys, let's go on to this. When have your instincts let you down? Hello, Arnold, great to see you. Thanks for hopping in the class. When have your instincts let you down? So, Mohamed, okay. Arnold, great to see you. Layla, yes. When you judge about something without any proof of that specific situation or person. So, when have your instincts let you down? Ah, Mohamed, great. Well, Mohamed, I enjoy your answer. That was great. When have your instincts let you down? Hey, Pasha, I need to get my son to give me my, to get something charging. Hey, Pasha, okay, we'll look up the meaning of instincts. We can do that. Let's look it up. So, instinct is a noun that means a natural quality that makes people and animals tend to behave in a particular way using the knowledge and abilities that they were born with rather than thought or training. So, I will get this and we'll put it in the lesson. So, turn your slide. Instincts. So, an example of this would be a mother's instinct is to know when their child is getting sick. A mother's instinct. We can look at our child and know they are getting sick. So, I hope this helps you, Layla. Instincts. A natural quality that makes people and animals tend to behave in a particular way using the knowledge and abilities that they were born with rather than thought or training. So, for example, when a cat and a dog often have a natural instinct to not like one another. Right? Cats and dogs. Rats and cats are enemies. They have a natural instinct. Cats want to chase and eat the rat. That's a natural instinct. So, let's take a look. When have your instincts let you down? So, has there been an instance where you have this gut feeling that you need to do something a certain way but your instinct was wrong? Your instincts. So, Elmer. Yes, love Kumar. Yes, instincts are typically something you're born with. It is innate. It is internal. It is a part of your genetic makeup. But it can also be, you can have this feeling and think, ooh, I have this really strong feeling that I need to do something today but it can be a wrong instinct. The day that you bought a lottery ticket and you lost all your money. When you fall in love with anyone, let your heart and mind fall in love and not your instincts first. Whoa, that is a great statement, Solwin. No, Gertie, sixth sense is definitely something different. Instincts has something to do more with animal behavior and we are animals, right? So, we have an instinct if we see a baby crying, the instinct is to want to pick up the baby and help the baby feel better. Yes, sometimes our instincts will tell us that we want to choose a certain mate, right? Because there is a physical attraction but they're not the right person for us. So in that instance, we need to get to know that person better. Sometimes if I meet with strangers, yes. So that is an instinct, okay? We get an instinct of, ooh, this person may be dangerous. Okay, I need to listen to that instinct to keep myself safe. I have an instinct of being simple, okay? So let's move on and let's talk about how do you comfort others? How do you comfort others? How do you comfort others? I'm gonna take a drink. So I just talked about the baby and the baby crying. So here's an example, right? So I have my baby and when the baby is crying, I'm going to rock the baby. This is an instinct that I have. It's my instinct to rock the baby. Layla says, when I see someone poor, I want to help that person. So that's how you want to comfort them. You want to help them. Ah, Monica, that is awesome. A smile can be so comforting to someone when they are in a difficult situation. I love that idea. And so I also wanna share with you, I have a smile for you. So a smile can be very comforting to many people, right? A smile, that's great. So Dwi, I will be patient. I will be patient. So love, you comfort others by helping them. I will be patient with them. Being patient can be very difficult, right? It's difficult to be patient, isn't it, Pasha? Yeah. What are you cooking? Crispitos. Crispitos, hmm. How do you comfort others, Pasha? Will you come over here and talk in the camera? Pasha is going to share how he comforts others. How do you comfort others? Well, if it's... Come over in the camera, they can't see you. How do you comfort others, this camera, right here? I comfort others by telling them that's gonna be all right, you know, you know, trying to... Can you look at the camera by telling them it's gonna be all right, and what else? And just that, and if it's my friends, we just, you know, tell jokes. Tell jokes to help them... You know, calm down. Okay. So what do I do that helps you be comforted when you are upset? You sing if you're just checking up on me. What if you're upset? What helps you feel better when you're upset? A hug? Well, then give me a hug. Are you upset? No. So physical touch can be very comforting for our family members, right? I talk and listen to the person. I try to do something that makes others feel happy as much as I can. Excellent. So we comfort people in a variety of ways. If it's a stranger, maybe we'll do what Monica suggested and just give them a smile, right? As Pasha said, tell someone, it's gonna be okay. Calm down. Although sometimes when someone tells me to calm down, that makes me mad. Don't tell me to calm down. But yes, to help someone feel comforted. Does anyone else have something that they would do or say? And Pasha, he is, he responds to being told it's gonna be okay, let's just calm down and then having a hug will help him too. Also, he is empathetic to others, which we're gonna learn what that means. Oh, I know, Gertie, you cannot comfort your patients by hugging them because of COVID. That is really hard. At my school, I teach very young children. And so it was often that we will hug the children because it helps them feel better and now we can't hug them and it is very difficult to not hug small children when they are crying and upset. It goes against my instincts. Okay, so we're going to move on because I wanna get to empathy, but let's talk about this. Oh, Arnold, that is so kind. If someone really is feeling cold, if someone is feeling really cold, if someone is feeling really cold, I'll give them a jacket to feel comfort. So if someone, I'm gonna try and type this, if someone is feeling really cold, I'll give them a jacket to feel comfort or comfortable to feel comfortable. I have my Spanish keyboard on. Okay, Elmer, well, sometimes when someone's telling, don't worry about everything, it's going to be all right. Yes, that is something. So is that what you do? How do you deal with negative emotions? So class, how do you deal with negative emotions? So negative emotions. So happiness is a positive emotion. It's a positive emotion. Negative emotions would be things like scared. That's a negative emotion. Maybe, maybe it's positive at times, being sad. So being upset and crying, that's a negative emotion. How do you deal with negative emotions? So saw one, compliments by listening, enlightening situations. We're gonna talk about words we can use to help comfort others in just a moment. Vashuta, I comfort kids by playing with them and by giving my time to them. Yes, so with small children, it's very different. We need to get down on their level. Playing with them, spending time with them is often very helpful. If a child is upset, I will often say how they're feeling to them because they may not be able to. I'll say, oh, you are very sad. It makes you sad when Billy takes your toy. I will put into words how they're feeling. Dwi, I have to calm down myself. Well, Dwi, how do you calm down? What do you do to calm down? Layla says, when I have negative emotions, I try to do something that makes me a little, especially when I feel sad. I think you missed a word there, Layla. Can you rephrase your sentence, please? Joe says, stop and count to 10. That is a great technique. When you get really angry, stop, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. That will slow down your heart rate and help you to calm down and handle your emotions. Layla, I also want to cry. So crying can be a positive response to a negative emotion. Crying can help you feel better. I'm trying to think how I deal with negative emotions. So Gertie deals with negative emotions by listening to music and dancing. Those are great ways to handle. Those are positive ways to handle emotions. Elmer likes to be alone and breathe. Elmer, you don't, not breathe. Unless you're going to create more children, breathe deep and let it go. This is when a typing error can be very funny. Some people will use sex as a way to cope with negative emotions as well. You definitely forget about things for a little bit. Tika, I usually, Tika, thank you for being a channel member. I usually clean my room or anything to keep myself busy. Cleaning, a lot of people will clean when they are having negative emotions. It's a positive way to calm down. Dwi, while my students can't sit down properly and are naughty, I will say to them with nice words and give them a smile too and then help them sit down. Yes, sorry. I think my husband is home and the dogs are barking. Okay, so great. So now we're going to talk about empathetic statements. Okay? Ah, let's look at what Solwin is saying first. Tell someone there's a light at the end of the tunnel. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Look at the whole picture. Look at the whole picture, not plural. Look at the whole forest rather, look at the forest rather than the trees to deal with negative emotions. So Solwin is saying, try to find the positive in a situation. Try to not think of just the things that are bad. Try to think about the things that are good. All good suggestions. So empathetic statements and responses show that you understand or want to understand. Let me fix this. So we'll fix this. Empathetic statements. Let's see if that fixes it. Oh my goodness, Tika. You changed your job just to watch this? That is really thoughtful. Empathetic statements and responses show that you understand or want to try and understand. I need to fix that. That is that you understand or want to try and understand. So we're gonna talk about being empathetic to others. Solwin says, stop, think, and act. So empathy, an example of empathy is being able to take the perspective of someone else. Take the perspective of someone else. So put yourself in the other person's shoes. Take their perspective. Young children cannot do this. They cannot take the perspective of others. So for example, an example, so exercising, yes, exercising Solwin is one of the best ways to cope or handle negative emotions. If someone is having difficulty emotionally and they tell you how they feel, you can say, I'm sorry that this happened to you. This is a statement you can use to show them that you are wanting to try and help. You want to be empathetic to how they feel. You want to try and understand how they feel. I'm sorry that this happened to you. So that's one statement that you can use. So here is another statement. So let's say that Dwee, one of Dwee's students says, Johnny broke my toy. Dwee could say, that would upset me too. If Johnny broke my toy, I would be upset too. So here is another statement you could use. If someone is telling you, they're really upset. So Tika's sharing about a previous job took my time a lot and I got burnt out, burnt out. So we'd use this. I got burnt out during my work there. I slept late, so sleeping a lot is something that sometimes people do when they are having a hard time with their emotions. I didn't feel happy for a few months. It was so, it was so negative. We don't use much. It was so negative. I had a negative experience there. So you don't work there any longer. Tika, quitting that job was a good thing for your mental health. In some cases, Layla says, in some cases, we really don't know what we should do, what we should do to help others, especially with people who we love. In this case, I feel disappointed. It can be frustrating when we can't do anything to help someone who is upset. But by using some of these sentences, it can maybe help them see that you want to understand. And sometimes just someone listening is extremely helpful. That would upset me too. So then we have this. This would be a great sentence to use if someone told you something they did that was not a good thing. So, for example, if Callie came home from school and said, mom, I cheated on my test. I cheated on my test. Well, of course, I would be very upset with her and disappointed, but an empathetic statement would be, I want to thank you for being so open and honest with me, even though I would be angry, right? But I can tell her, thank you for being honest about what you did. So these are some statements you can make to help people understand that you want to try to help. And here is another statement we could use to help people feel supported. It sounds like you had a very stressful time. So for this last sentence, I would like to do our imitation technique. So for those of you who are new to learning the imitation technique with me, there are three steps to the imitation technique. Step one, you read the sentence and listen while the native speaker reads it. They're on top of the dryer. So here we go. I am going to read the sentence and you listen. It sounds like you had a very stressful time. Okay, so that was step one. That is the listen and read. Step two, the step two is imitation. So again, I am going to read the sentence. You are going to imitate the sentence right after me. You are going to try to imitate the tone of my emotions, the rhythm of my speech, the stress of what words I put emphasis on. You're going to try to pause the same places where I pause, all of those things. So let's do step two, imitation. You are going to repeat after me. Here we go. Ready? It sounds like you had a very stressful time. Okay, and for the third step of the imitation technique, we are going to do what's called shadowing. And with shadowing, you are going to try to say the sentence at the same time as me, okay? So we're going to say this sentence together and try to use the same rhythm, rate, melody, stress, pauses, all of those things. Okay? All right guys, we can do it. So let's take a deep breath. Okay, I will count down from three to one and then we'll start. Here we go. Three, two, one. It sounds like you had a very stressful time. Okay, how did it go guys? How was it? We can try it again. I'm going to get a drink first. So before we do this one more time, Layla says, yes, you are right for me. If someone says positive words, I feel better. So a lot of it has to do with people don't always want us to fix their problems. Often people just want someone to listen and to support them when they have a problem or when they are having difficult emotions. So Elmer says it went well. Let's try it one more time, okay guys? I know you can do it, okay? Here we go. Three, two, one. It sounds like you had a very stressful time. Got to take the deep breath, didn't I? Dwee. Okay. Okay Layla, so I want you to go back and watch the lesson, look up those words that you weren't sure about, that we talked about. These are new words. But what I hope you take from this lesson guys is that you can listen to someone else and hopefully be empathetic to them and use some of these sentences. Like it sounds like that was difficult for you or I would be upset too if that happened to me. Things like that. Okay guys, so I hope you all, or you could say I am on your side. I'm on your side. So Layla, I'm on your side. I want you to do well. Okay, we made it to the end of our lesson guys. I will take any questions that you have before we sign off. Good Joe, that's what shadowing, the shadowing and imitation technique are all about. They are to help a non-native speaker feel the rhythm that is used and the emotional tone and the melody that is used when a native speaker is speaking. If you would like to do more lessons with the imitation technique, please check out my personal YouTube channel which is Learn English with Sherry. Learn English with Sherry. And I have some speaking lessons there already. I filmed the third lesson today for that channel and I will be editing that and posting it soon. Does anyone else have any other questions? I really want to be a good person who can help others. Who can help others when I can. Oh, I'm so glad. Thank you so much everyone for coming to today's lesson and you are great for being here. Tika, it was nice to meet you. You are welcome. I hope that you guys have a wonderful week and you can do it. Keep practicing. I'll see you next week. Goodbye everyone.