 In all of the Irish history, there is a master list, right, on Wikipedia, the list of Irish people. Now it has every Irish person that has ever existed. Yeah, there's not a lot of those. No, you're a rare breed. But, under comedians, after your 90-minute comedy world tour, Sean William McLaughlin, YouTube personality jacksepticeye producer? Have you produced? I guess I produced my own content. Famous producer. Well, you did that rap video the other day. That's true. Did you produce that, though? Like, you did the recording of it, but did you make the music for it? No. Okay, so you did produce it. What is a producer? A person responsible for the financial and managerial aspects of making a movie or broadcast, or for staging a play, opera, etc. So, you would be a producer? I mean, technically, we're both kind of producers then, right? Anyway, that's not what this is about. Now listen, it's St. Patrick's Day when this video is coming out. I'm wearing green, so nobody legally can pinch me. I am not, but I'm green inside. That's right, and I want to learn how to be green inside. I'm, I think, an eighth Irish, because I think my dad is a quarter Irish. That's how math works, right? Dude, you're talking to the worst person for this. Every American I meet is Irish. That's all I know. Is Nestor an Irish name? It sounds Irish, yeah. Nestor, apart from a given name, also found as a surname, born by Irish and Estonians. Okay, I looked up Nestor etymology and said it was Greek, but we'll go with Irish. Yeah, we'll go with Irish. It sounds Irish, like Jim Nestor. I've got some Irish blood. How would you say that? No, keep going, this is great. I've got some Irish blood in me, guys. Right? Not to, you're a both an eighth Irish for sure. I want to go back to my heritage. You know, I want to make my, I want to make my family proud. And so I wanted you to teach me how to be Irish, how to channel my inner Irish boy. Okay, good. This will give me a refresher course as well. So give me, I want the staples of what it means to be an Irish person. If I had thought of this before yesterday, I would have gotten props and funny things, but that's why the internet and editors exist, Justin, put them up on screen. Look at all these Irish things. I fucking love every single one of those. All right, step one. What's like the most Irish thing other than like the stereotypical like potatoes and drinking? I think, I mean, those are pretty spot on. I think Guinness is like the most stereotypically staple Irish thing. It's like our biggest export. It's like drinking a fucking milkshake. It's like drinking bread. It's so heavy. It's a four course meal. I think it just kind of culture in general, just sort of the way we are, the way we speak. I was talking about this with Gab that like every state in America has like its own dialect and its own slang and its own way of speaking. But in Ireland, it's like every single like sector of every town of every county has its own dialect. I'd say Ireland has like the most diverse accents in the entire planet. Every household is speaking a different language, basically. Pretty much. You drive 15 minutes and you're still talking to a completely different type of person. What's the hardest region of Ireland to understand? Like the thickest, craziest accent. Probably the south of Cork. Anywhere south. It's like, are the county caring? Have you ever seen a county caring and talking to a bunch of lashings and getting out there and the sheep? What did you say, people getting lashings? Just, you're going out for lashings as you're going out for drink. You're going out for a few lashings. Oh, and I think of lashings because I'm an American and we have a horrible history. I think of people getting whipped. I can see that. I'm sending you a video that is going to be your baptism of fire. This is probably the hardest accent. No, that's right. And you don't mean anyone can say it. Fine. That's not a very Mikey George. This guy's speaking English. Yeah, dude. This is national news. This like made like primetime 6 p.m. news. Possibly a night that be a full moon. There were night. And so to be right out and that could anyone go up in the mountains to buy a night show. I literally could not understand a single word he said. And there's a lot of Irish people. I think that also wouldn't have a clue what this man is saying. There's a reason it got a lot of views because even Irish people were like, holy fuck, what is wrong with us? Do you have any idea what he's saying? Yeah, the part around like 30 seconds in, he just talks about like what type of sheep and how many of them were stolen. So was he on national news because of his accent or because his sheep were stolen? A little column A, a little column B. Irish people have nothing else going on. We just need something to talk about. I feel like there was like a bit of a story. There was nothing else going on. And then he came on and they were like, oh fuck. Yeah. So I've made a connection now that you say that Irish people need something to talk about. Is shit talking a big Irish thing? Oh yeah. I mean, we love a good natter and a good banter. You know how Americans will see like somebody in a mansion and they'll be like, wow, the 1% I want to get up there. I'm going to be a capitalist too. Yeah. Irish people would be more like, the fuck does your man think he's doing? How does he think he's better than the rest of us? Fuck that lad. And then they all try and take that lad down a peg. Like you're not allowed to be better than anybody else. We're all supposed to be shite and feel horrible. I think that's where I get it from. Because my dad does the same thing. My dad's whole side of the family. Every time we get together as a family with his side, it's 100% shit talk. I think that's why we drink so much so we can tolerate each other. And that's my dad's side of the family. Everybody's always drinking. Suddenly everyone at home is like, maybe I'm Irish. I should check this out. Exactly. I can give you some like intros, like some greetings if you want to like get your Irish going. So instead of just saying like, hello, how are you? Irish people would just say, how's it going? That's just a general greeting. Yeah, like how's it going? How's it going? Are you well? Are you well? No. You have to say, how's it going? Loud? Well, that's just me. That's just default. How's it going? Yeah. And then, are you well? Are you well? You're getting there. You're getting there. I'm getting there. You definitely don't sound American anymore. See, I think that's the goal from this video is just to remove myself from America as much as I possibly can. We'll just see how far east we can make it go. Please. How often do people speak Gaelic and Ireland? Like, is it still a language that's used? In certain parts, yeah. I don't, like very few places it'll be the main language where like everyone in the town speaks it. Most places will speak English first, but there are definitely still some communities, especially like on the West Coast that'll have a lot more Irish in them. You can go to like for summer holidays, you can go to something called the Gweiltocht, which is like an Irish school. Gweiltocht. Kind of like a boarding school, but if you go there, you speak Irish. Oh, this all makes sense. My dad's son of the family's Catholic. There you go. I'm just picking up all these Irish tings. Do you guys say tings? They're, haha. Well done. I didn't even have to prompt you for that one. Yes. Ah! I don't even say tings anymore. I wish I did. I have the accent beaten out of me because every time I say anything, like, anything, everyone would be like, oh, anything, anything. And then like, okay, I won't fucking pronounce it like that anymore than your bollocks. That's the next thing that I want to learn because I think that Irish people are the absolute best. It came out on my recommendations the other day. You and Minks just speaking Irish to each other. Shine talking. So good. And I think that Irish people are the best at insults. And so I want to learn some, not only what to say for basic insults, but also what they mean because I couldn't understand half of what you were saying. You're saying something about a badger's hole and stuff. You know, I can piece two and two together, but... Yeah. You kind of just make up shite as you go along. Like, if you see someone who has like messy hair, you'll say something like, look at your wand. She looks like she was dragged backwards through a fucking hedge. Look at your what? Look at your wand. Means look at that woman. I don't know why we call, we say it that way, like your wand. Look at your man and look at your wand over there. Look at your wand. She went backwards through a hedge. What did you say? She is a head in her like she was dragged backwards through a hedge. She is a head in her like she drove backwards through a hedge. She was dragged backwards. Dragged backwards. So basically your hair is so messy. It looks like you were dragged through a bush. Yeah. Look at your wand. She looks like she's outside. That's what I'm saying. Like, if you think about other places in the world and you think about like, oh, let's talk about like France. You think about like a French accent. Spain, like a Spanish accent. But for Ireland, there's no like go-to accent for any of it. Like every every time that you ask somebody for an Irish accent, it's completely different. Some people do Northern Ireland. Some people do Dublin. Some people just do a generalised. Tighty, tighty, haughty, haughty. You're from Clawham. Yeah. Yeah. In county, awfully. Which is county what? Offly. It's right in the middle. It's a county that absolutely no one gives a shit about. What are the accents sound like there? Just your accent, but you said that your your accents kind of faded. Yeah, an awfully accent is weird because it's kind of just an amalgamation of accents kind of all around it. What would an awfully, awfully accent is kind of like drawing out your vowels, I think. I don't even know how to do an awfully accent anymore because you hear it so much growing up that you don't even know what you sound like. So would you say like potatoes? A little bit, but it's more on specific words. Let me look up an awfully accent so I can... Let me look up an awful accent. That, yeah, that's what they always say. You're awfully ugly because you're from awfully. People used to call us biffos, which stood for big ignorant fucker from awfully. All right, so the staples of an Irishman. We've got the shit talking. We've got the... Have we talked about anything else? I don't think so. I'm still trying to figure out what an awfully accent sounds like. Here's a question. So it is Patty's day with a... Yeah. D. T. The fact that you even have to ask me that shows that you're part of the problem. Which do you think it is? Say it out loud. I think it would be T because it's Patrick. See, you fall into the same trap as everybody else. Because I can see why people get to there. But Patrick, the Irish name for that is Padrig or Padrig. So it's P-A-D. And then short for Padrig or Patrick would be Paddy. So people would call each other Paddy with two D's. Okay. Next time I see you, I'll just make sure to take one of your fingers for saying that. Okay. And then the next question that I had about it. Is St. Patrick's Day a big thing in Ireland? Or is it another thing that America took from somebody else and made it our own big fucking thing? No, it's definitely a big thing in Ireland. I don't know if it's as big. Like you guys have just way more population density. Don't they turn some like river or something in Dublin green? Yeah, the Liffey. How do they do that? They just ground up shamrocks and leprechauns and just put it in. Every Irish person comes green actually. So people are just jerking off into the river. I don't know if they still do it. They've definitely done it in the past. And I don't know how... I mean, I was gonna say I don't know how healthy it is for the river, but that river is absolute muck. Fucking bikes and syringes and everything all in that. Yummy, yummy. I can teach you some... I looked up a list because it's the type of thing that unless you actually look up the list, you can't, you kind of forget what the slang of your place is because you just said it's so much growing up. So I'm gonna give you some stuff that you can say to make you sound Irish. Perfect. So we have a couple of things that we can call people. Like you can call someone a fecker. Feck off, you fecker. And then you can call someone a flute. A flute. That's an important inflection. Is that T sounds and Irish kind of have an SH sound to them sometimes? Flute. Kind of a weird thing with your tongue, like it's breathy. What does it mean when you call someone a flute? Like, you're just in... I was gonna say you're just in Egypt. Boy, that's another one. You're just a fool, basically. And then if you were to get drunk, you could say you're getting flutered. Flutered. I think you told me a couple of different ways to say that you're... that you're really drunk. Like, what is it... What do you say when you're like blackout drunk? Oh, so many different things. You're scottered. Scottered. Flutered. Banjexed. Banjexed? I mean, Irish people just make up words. You could say you're fucking clatter-fanged if you want. I'm sure some Irish people in your comments can come up with some good ones as well. I'm learning! I'm learning! He's doing it! Now, I feel like I've learned some good stuff, but I want to know as sort of a final thing is like, to you, your most important Irish treat. What does being an Irishman mean to you? Sean McLaughlin, one of the only surviving Irish people left. One of the only Irish people left in the world today. I think it's our ability to get on with everybody. I think we're very good at talking. We're very good at interacting with others. We just make friends with everybody very, very easily. And I think we're some of the friendliest people in the world. I feel like Irish people, for the amount of shit talking that they do, they still will like, you know, treat everybody the same and be like, Oh, yeah, he's a right flute, but he's a good boy. Well, Sean, my skin is paler. My blood is full of alcohol and my hair is red now. And I feel like I'm a true Irishman. So to end out the video in as many words as possible, I'd love for you to give the viewers at home a good old Irish goodbye and maybe insult them because, you know, I think that there's this problem on YouTube where these viewers, they get so cocky and they think that they own you and, you know, they think that they're all that. Why don't you knock them down a pig? Oh, those fucking cute hoors, huh? Now a bunch of bastards think that they can come in here and say what they want and think that they fucking know the place, huh? Well, I'll tell you a little, you're fucking worth nothing. All yours are budget gobshits in the comments, writing stuff that's already been said in the video and then being like, oh, fucking eatin' says this and then after all, I'm just gonna repeat it and think that I'm a little clever bastard. Well, you know what I'll say to you? Good luck to you. Good luck and good night to you. And may you be a half an hour in heaven before the devil knows you're dead. Is that a thing that Irish people say? Sounds like something Irish people would say for sure. Happy St. Patty's Day to everybody out there. You better spell it properly or I'll fucking come for you. Double D's just like your man. Just like your one over there with the double D's, the big fucking milky titties on it. Big mommy milkers all around in fucking pints of Guinness to every which way. Thank you so much for watching the video. Perhaps I'll see you next time. I'll just go look. I'll see you later now. Oh. Perfect video. Fuck is happening.