 Hello everybody welcome back to esoteric Atlanta. I am joined here with one of my friends Emmy. How are you doing Emmy? Good. How are you? I am well, I'll just I'm not gonna spill the beans But I discovered something that was pretty hysterical and it will be shared on my channel in a couple weeks from a video I've shared it with Emmy. It's pretty hysterical, isn't it? So I'm in a pretty good glee mood right now It has to do with the word Messiah it'll come out in a couple of weeks guys But I've literally it took me forever to get to that recording because I was laughing so hard So anyway, I'm in a great mood right now I had some rakey with Emmy a couple of days ago and girl fixed me right up So I hope you guys will once again go and visit Emmys YouTube channel holistic genie with Emmy and Emmy what again is a good email for people to reach you because I did have somebody in the Community board ask for your contact So how is a good way for people to reach you? Emmy at abundant life holistic calm and I will put that in the description box to you guys as well We know I know you're pretty busy with all of our Yoga course people with their rakey sessions and stuff like that But if people want to reach out to you and start that connection and he's amazing I also want to remind you guys that next or Thursday of this upcoming Thursday. I've got Morgan Who is a stronger nurse more famously known as a stronger nurse coming on my channel? We are going to talk about Shadow work we're going to talk about his his journey through a strong a yoga everything Under the Sun we have a bunch of people submitting questions I told Morgan off-air that he quickly became a fan favorite During the shadow work challenge and he didn't know that I had used his videos, but um, you know, I really like I I There's so many great videos out there for my strung up people But I like that. I like Morgan. He's very calm. He's very gentle And I like that he is a father and a husband And so he's giving given because most of the other teachers we used were women And so I liked having I liked having a masculine perspective and on this practice as well And so I'm super excited about Morgan coming on the show I'm sure this will not be the only time he comes on shows with us And if you guys once again, I know people in the signal group have asked a lot of questions and a lot of questions for Morgan But if you have any other questions you want to ask Morgan Place them in the comment section below or on the community tab if you want to remain anonymous You can send me the question over on signal and I will keep it anonymous anonymous when I talk to him Somebody asked me if I would ask him to do like a modified have primary series kind of like we did I'll ask him that because I think he'd be totally totally cool with that one thing. I like about him They see Teth. He has a beautiful practice, but he's so mellow. He's so mellow and so humble and I know Emmy has been watching a lot of his Emmy has been watching a lot of his videos as well. I think she had her kid come in the room guys So so any Anything you want to know from Morgan? Just let me know in the comment section below Is there anything you want to ask more Morgan and makes I know you've enjoyed his channel, right? Oh Yeah, I especially love watching the videos with his family He's just okay that I don't know what video it was but it was a recent one and the baby was in there and The baby started crying and the way that he handled it was just so Beautiful it was just like oh, this is a stronger right here this calm This calm cool. It's okay. Everything's fine It's like that is so beautiful, you know his his kids are going to be So emotionally fit well, I watched once a day of his where his kid like coughed in his face and You know, it was perfect timing like it was perfect comedic timing But the kid is like what one or two probably didn't plan that it just literally came up and coughed in his face And he just kept going and and yeah, yeah, I'm really he talks a lot I haven't even spoken about seventh series on my channel. I don't think There's a joke. So we have this first six series of the ashanga system But then seventh series is family life and so Guruji used to say like you you can't practice seventh series until you've practiced all the six series Prior to it because the seventh series is the hardest Hmm and he did a video watched it today yoga is hard where I'll put it in the description box where he gets into What seventh series looks like? And he drew a graph about how this is me by myself but then I became a husband and then I became a dad on the holidays I'm also a brother and an uncle and a son and he talked about how I you know He showed a picture of himself as a kid He was like this is how my parents still see me and as much as I want them to see that I've changed I also have to acknowledge that they have changed as well You know, and it was just beautiful the way that he spoke about that and that's what I love, you know The athleticism in the ashanga practice is impressive. Of course it is But if you want to see beautiful athleticism by a ticket to Cirque du Soleil Because this is yoga. This is not the asana is just a tool. That's all it is. It means nothing It's just a tool if you use asana the way that it's supposed to be used as a tool Then it's the most important thing you do every day But if you're using the posture work the asana work for the ego or for gymnastics Then it's the least important thing you do during the day And I think we are we kind of shot some ideas back and forth. I think we are going to cover some of that In our conversation about the athleticism. What does it mean about the friction? How we view our bodies all that that kind of stuff I think that's something we are going to be speaking about it It'll be interesting to have a male's perspective as well because women obviously and then have very different bodies But we both go through go through the aging process We both go through the process of having children having dependency. He as a man has a different level of maybe How he feels he provides for his family than his wife does so just too interesting to kind of hear those Perspectives and what it means to have a family when you're doing a spiritual a spiritual I think we spoke about that a little bit or maybe it was in the yoga course. We spoke about this how um so in India the brahman so brahman is the upper caste and brahman is the priestly caste and So in India all the teachers are brahman's. They're of the priestly caste And if you are not brahman No matter what your life is like you are considered a householder So even for me as someone who does not have to who single who doesn't have children. I'm still considered a householder And so what does that mean compared to the brahman? Well, and most of the most of the time the brahman's did not now that they have children and stuff But they didn't so they had in a lot of ways. I think the householder Has the harder practice. I Was gonna say and that if I were to ask Morgan a question that would that would be it because I'm you know I'm assuming that he's practiced Way before having a family So what I'd like to know is The difference between following a spiritual practice When you're single and you don't have the demands of a family versus The spiritual practice within a family Because like you were saying I think the householders following a spiritual path and awakening and working through your karma and All of your triggers and everything I Feel is much more difficult when you are dealing with family and children and homeschooling and jobs and businesses and YouTube channels and you know husbands and wives and grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning and all of this all of that these life demands I would get Frustrated and irritated that I had all this stuff going on because what I really wanted to focus on was my spirituality and one day I had an epiphany in meditation. I was like no No, I've done that before what I wanted to do was be in the thick of chaos and Anchor in the love and anchor in the spirituality and the light in the midst of chaos Because your spirituality isn't that chaos It's having that kid cough in your face Right like your kid like cough in your face while you're trying to shoot a video and Being able to be calm like him and just keep going, right? I mean, I don't have kids, but I have a nephew and two nieces. I've had more boogers Slobbered on my face in the past 10 years Then I ever did and you know, it's easy. They'll just come up and like wipe their boogers on you And what do you say? Thank you like You know, I you know, even just my niece who's like a little over-year-old now like I'm same thing Like she's she'll sit in my lap and she'll like grab my bra on my boob and next thing I know There's a booger down my bra and It's like it's and she's wiping her nose. I even think my older niece gave me a hug She like wiped her nose on my shirt and I was like, okay Okay, I Mean I'm kind of like I'm kind of like your mom I mean your mom's my sister. So okay, you know, I still I still get my wife free and that and that dichotomy of having that being in your life I mean, I don't have kids, but I I remember my nephew was born The kid that made me an aunt and I held him for the first time. I was like, this is what true love feels like Because I now understand No hesitation I would give my life for this little being That can't even wipe his own butt right now. I would absolutely without hesitation I still feel that way. I would throw myself in front of a Bus any day of the week for any of those kids? So I understand that Unconditional love as they're coughing in your face wiping their boogers on you, you know and then that's but then getting that frustration where They're screaming crying at four o'clock in the morning have needed their diaper change But you're supposed to be doing your practice at this time The kidneys are diaper changed and and what does that look like and I do think that that is the harder You know, I will I won't say names, but a few years ago. There are a few ashtanga teachers in the community who Come from very wealthy families like oil money wealthy and There's a kid that's probably 10. He's like in his late 20s Which he got authorized pretty early for an offer for a usually you're in your like late 30s when you First start because you take so long to get that and this kid comes from a very wealthy family From the Middle East. He's not Middle Eastern. He's white, but he oil and he made a post a few years ago on Facebook about how You know, he travels around teaching all his students should stop eating at four o'clock in the afternoon So that they're and get to sleep early prepared for my store. Well, I do that. I stopped eating between four and five But it rocked a lot of people the wrong way this post because most of your students are What about that mom who has three kids? She's helping them with homework in the afternoon She's taking them to all sorts of sports practices. She's cooking dinner. She's working full-time But she's still making it a priority to come to mice or every morning and yeah, she might be eating late and She might not get as much sleep. It's you think she needs But who has the bigger devotion here? The kid with the trust fund who doesn't have to do anything Because it's all paid for Doesn't have children doesn't have a wife or the woman who has three kids a full-time job Everything in between but still makes that time to come to my store in the morning Who has the bigger devotion? It's all perspective, right and and so that That was you know, and so yeah So we're gonna get into that with with Morgan as well and and and so this also brings us We're gonna talk about some things that are coming up in this first of all We have a mini challenge many challenge before the 60-day challenge. I talked to Shanti about this Wednesday after we filmed on I so on the Solstices so we have a solstice coming up on the 21st for us in the northern hemisphere This is our winter solstice for our people in the southern hemisphere. This is your summer solstice But on solstices we typically do in a very esoteric way a hundred eight sun salutations That's all your practices that day. I've done this before I was telling Emmy and Shanti and I were talking a lot about the sun salutations and how that really needs to be taught because it's the basis of all awesome of practice and so I agreed to Film a video of a hundred eight. I'm not doing a hundred eight left film I'm gonna do a couple with modifications for people and then I'm just gonna count for a hundred eight so people can play it and do it at their house for themselves and so that's gonna be up on the 21st of December For you guys so that can be something that you work up to for a little mini challenge in the middle of Before I were waiting on the 60 days to do the hundred eight. I mean, I think I mean sun salutations to me They are the creme de la creme of all Asuna is the sun salutations I think they should be the warm-up for everybody in sports and everything is to do sunset Even days that I just do bar. I do sun salutations before I do the bar just because Nothing gets your blood pumping gets your muscles activated like Syrian on the scar a you know So and I know I'm gonna do so I think the first couple I'll film myself doing a modification Because like I said a lot of times on the YouTube's you see people doing more demonstration where they're gonna show the fancy jump back And if you hear bopping around guys, that's construction next door But I'm gonna show you guys how to modify what to do. You don't have to jump You know, you can just step back, you know And and to make it especially if you're doing a hundred eight to help manage your energy levels During that time. So anyway Let's talk about the upcoming shadow work challenge any Emmy is gonna actually do like a week of The grief what with grief right and how to work through grief Yes. Oh, should we tell people about the book or should we put that in there? Well, I'm gonna do so the first month We're gonna do polishing the mirror by Ram Dass in the second month We're gonna do another Ram Dass book. So and that's gonna be with the grief. So you want to talk about that book quickly? Sure Sure, sure. So of all the books and Counseling and therapies and and groups and different things that I've tried for grief My favorite is Ram Dass's book walk in each other home. It's There there is so much good stuff out there on grief work But Ram Dass's book was the only one that I found that was centered around unity and oneness everything else that's taught about grief comes from a Perspective of separation like you're separate from your loved ones. You're separate from God and How do we heal? Being separate and you know, those things those things are good and there's definitely good suggestions, but Ram Dass's book was It was it was the last thing that I read and oh my gosh, it was so healing just even reading the book was healing Yep, that's it Yeah, yeah, such a beautiful book Ram Dass is amazing. Oh, isn't he amazing? He pat for guys who don't know Ram Dass I Consider him to be one of my teachers even though I had the opportunity to almost meet him at one point, but a chickened out I had sent him an email This is right before I started going to India and I mess I sent him an email And I just wanted to thank him so much for all of his books And I was about to head off to India for my first trip and I just really felt so inspired And I thanked him for being so vulnerable and sharing all of his his struggle And everything that got him to where he is today and like lo and behold I got an email back from his assistant at that time And the assistant was like Boba Doss wants to meet you. Can you at that point? It was Skype Can you Skype with him and I put it off because I was so nervous. I was like I don't know what I'm gonna say like I'm gonna get on the Skype and be like You know, so I put it off and I'm kind of mad at myself for that because he has since passed away But his books I mean, I quote him all the time I Feel like he he literally And I'll put his YouTube channel in the description box below guys because you can you can listen to a lot of his talks on on YouTube still and Especially polishing the mirror which is what we're gonna start with which is great because I think in polishing the mirror I remember correctly. He does start to talk about a little bit of grief. He does talk about the power of death and How we need to treat death as a celebration and the process of death just as we celebrate birth as a celebration And he talks about his mother passing away and when he was younger and all that kind of stuff And so it'd be great to start with polishing the mirror and then go into this book with from Doss and Walking each other on that's where I get it from that quote is we're all just walking each other home Another great great quote from him is treat everybody like they're God dressed in drag Because they are You know they are You know and I love what I love so much about Rom Doss too is that you know He's born Richard Alpert and he was a Harvard professor of psychology and back in like when psychedelics and drugs got really big he Was approved by Harvard to do experiment experiments with like acid and psychedelics and The experiments got a little out of hand. He ended up an addict got fired all that kind of stuff But to make a long story short. He's so smart. He's so intelligent, but he doesn't write his writing is not demeaning and I feel like I've been in the academic world a lot a lot of the yoga world is very academic as you can see It's heavy philosophy and I hate that when people write Books on philosophy, but they try to Write in a very demeaning way Yeah, like kind of like like you should know all this stuff already and you're just not doing it Yeah, and they use words that are huge that nobody uses Yeah, like, you know, so okay, great I can I can look at this at this this horse as well You know, but what I love about Ram Doss is he writes in a way that every human being understands What he's saying and he writes like he's talking to you as a comrade as as a as an equal not as a teacher and He'll say something like really mind-blowing in some of his books like it'll go groovy. I Love it. All right something mind-blowing the next sentence. It's just groovy. That's it You know and so he he you know towards the end of his life He had a stroke and he did a whole documentary after that stroke because obviously He needed to learn something His learning wasn't over. So he was like universe took away my My little use of my legs. So, okay, what do I have to learn now that those are gone? You know and that's where I get the whole interesting thing, you know when we hit something in our practice That's hard and you've been there at me where it hurts and there's tears instead of connecting and living in that pain and making that pain like Your emotional compass, can you look at that pain feel the pain and go ah interesting? Mm-hmm. That's what I learned from Ram Dass you know and you know, he's a His story is just amazing and I am well forever be grateful to him and he did pass away in 2019 December of 2019 right before we went into the fiasco that we're in he dot He was like 90. I mean he nothing's sinister. He just passed away And I kind of feel like it was kind of like right before we fell off into the precipice of everything in this timeline He was like, all right, my work is done I'm out You guys know what to do now and I've actually know that film still sounds weird But I feel like I felt him around me from time to time which might sound kind of weird But I quote him a lot and so I'm happy that we are gonna be using some of his work In this in the shadow work cuz and you see pictures of him and you just kind of want to hug him Yes, you know like you just would cut a lot of them. Yeah, can we make like Ram Dass plushies? And he I told the story I think I told him the yoga the yoga course cuz you know Yoga is is basically its mental focus if that's meditation is finding a one point of focus And so you can find yoga and so many different things, you know The asana is the traditional practice But there's many different ways where you can find a one-pointed focus and Ram Dass tells the story like back in like the 70s where everyone was like hippies He was doing this big talk on his time with Neen Crowley Baba his guru in India And all these hippies these smelly dirt twirling hippies The long hair were in that auditorium like grooving it out with Ram Dass and Ram Dass said in the front row There was this little old lady with her purse and her pearls on Listening to Ram Dass speak and she would be nodding her head in agreement He she kept catching his eye and he kept thinking she's supposed to be here like this is not this is One of these things is not like the other The conference or the talk do you as people were greeting him she came up and he was like ma'am Did you come here on purpose and she was like yes, I so I So and he's in that moment. He realized she had found meditation and sewing She had stumbled upon and she realized that she had stumbled upon something and she obviously researched it You know went to the library because I was before the internet and went to hear his talk To hear what he had to say because she had stumbled upon What he it took him becoming a drug addict ending up in India high on acid To find meditation she found through sewing. I Just think it's such a great story Yeah, so I So I saw you know, so and it also teaches you not to judge another person's path because Even though she wasn't dressed as the hippie in dirt twirling nor she been to India She didn't have to do all that. It just took her picking up her needle and thread and she figured it out Yes, I have a similar experience a couple of my kids when they were Really little were so sensitive to everything and so I had to use cloth diapers and cloth diaper covers are very very expensive, but knitting needles and crochet hooks and Marino wool is not expensive So I knitted and crocheted diaper covers and I made so many I made far more than what we needed because after a while I realized that It calmed me down. It regulated my nervous system. It like refreshed me It was like sometimes I would feel you know reborn after sitting down and knitting or crocheting something and I was like I Totally get Why people do this now? I totally get it Yeah, I've done needle point before when I was actually middle school I have some pillows still at my mom's house that I needle pointed and I spent a summer and my I think I did it my Grandmother my mom's mom needle pointed all of our stockings So my stockings which are actually still at my mom's house because at 40 years old I still They're still hanging out my mom's house I'm just glad Santa Santa Claus still doesn't come because Santa Claus came for a while to the point where my sister and I was like mom I Think my sister had to pop out a kid before Santa stopped coming Seriously you want us to go sit by our presence and smile Like So, you know, it took my nephew and now I think Santa actually comes to my mom's house, too I don't know how they're gonna explain that to the kids when they're kids friends Santa doesn't come to their grandma's house as well, but it's more for my mom. But anyway Yeah, my grandmother my mom's mom when needle point every time there were four girls My mom had forced our three sisters and each kid each sister had two kids So anytime a new grandbaby was being born my grandmother would go needle point a new stocking And so when she passed away we all got our stockings now Some of my cousins don't have stockings because they were born after the fact But that's always meant a lot to me like my stocking at my mom's house means a lot to me because that was my grandmother And so I started needle pointing and I loved it I've thought about it getting back in a needle pointing again because I loved it so much I would sit I remember sitting on my bedroom floor and at like 12 years old we're at a TV in my room like watching probably MTV or something and No pointing and I'm in it was I would have so it was so fun and you get in that flow. And so that that's that's meditation That's what that is And so and that's why we do the the Austin of practice is to give our mind something to focus on, you know It pulls up the energy. Yes, there's so many different components to this But the most important thing is it's getting giving your mind a one-pointed focus So let's go deeper into shadow works I know I mean there was a conversation a single group kind of about the journal light Let's talk a little bit about the journaling with shadow work and and so and I did this because of my Experience and my education and that's why the 60 day channel challenge is gonna look a little bit different because I'm gonna have Emmy Shanti Catherine Stephanie all helping me create the template and so we're gonna have all these different perspectives all these different Experiences and education levels Putting knowledge in so I'm not just throwing exercise on a template and then asking questions I'm picking specific exercises that I know From my education are going to potentially trigger Certain emotions and then I asked the questions Based on what's potentially going to be coming up With the exercise so can we first let's talk a little bit about that through your experience exercise can pull up emotion Can it any yo? Yeah Yes, absolutely. I started experiencing that Well before I was committed to the sastra practice, but even since even since doing this practice I've had so much come up Brice says I'm one of the lucky ones because my karma comes out early. I don't feel lucky like I I'm watching all of these people Just whip through this stuff and here I am completely wrapped What I should be used to this by now You are lucky. Listen, I have seen when I okay So in India and I'm what I actually want to talk to Morgan about this because we're both India trained and I'm the same teacher You know, there are what I've said it before and I'll say it again I do not want to go past third series, which is good. Most people don't anyway You don't see fourth series being practiced except for an India because it literally grosses me out fourth series Literally grosses me out. I cannot handle watching it. I Maybe maybe that man now I'm hearing God laughing like Take your own advice like you should probably be doing four series of but what tends to happen and and Todd has said this before With the ashtanga system You can't leapfrog. So even if you've had 20 years of prior yoga experience You're gonna start in primary series because primary series is fucking hard. They're all hard They all have different purposes primary series comes first because it is physical therapy second series is not a show And it's it's it's nerve therapy the third the third through six are all advanced don't ego therapy But the primary series alone full primary series in like a vinyasa flow world would be considered an advanced class Because they're advanced pot. There's like behind the head all sorts of stuff Now the reason why we have six series which only one person living has ever completed all six of them And that's my teacher charat the palm guru. So that's how hard it is It's so that every single person also is challenged And I have seen it. I have seen it where somebody a student will very easily go through first through third series. No problem Their ego gets a little inflated Then they get to fourth series And they hit one of those postures and Their body and it's like a slap across the face. They hit a wall and the temper tantrum The freak out That happens is not pretty Now there are people in fourth series that have hit walls all the way along and they they can handle that Intensity because they've already struggled and other, you know, they've just evolved through it And so I always tell people be wary of those Who had an easy time and first through third? Because if something are missing and they haven't hit it yet But if it hit you in primary series good Because the people who get hit hard in primary or second series, they're the most humble They're the better teachers They get it They absolutely get it. I'll give an example too that horrified me and and also Todd We were both in India at this time together and the Mysore room in India It's not like my so rooms you go to Around the world because there's so many students that the room is packed and you have to sit literally sit in the lobby and wait to be called in for practice So you're watching as other people are practicing before you and There's this guy who I'm not a huge fan of he was assisting short He is an authorized teacher so I can assist her out if I want but this guy was assisting and Todd was watching too And we have these drop-back stand-ups at the you start learning them at the end of primary series where you stand up from a back bend and then you drop back stand up drop back stand up and These can be a lifelong practice for people because there's a right way to do them And there's a wrong way to do them and wrong way can cause you know a thousand times Okay, a thousand one times not okay. Well, some people including myself. I have to Pick I have to come up onto the balls of my feet to eventually hit the floor So like I'll bend back and then when I need to like you can only bend back so far before you just have to go You have to let gravity take over and I have to come Todd does too a lot of people do especially if we have you have a tighter back Have to come to the balls of your feet People who are freakishly flexible can usually keep their heels down on the ground and do a drop-back stand-up But that's rare and there's one assistant who's a fucking asshole. I can't stand this guy I won't say his name. I think he's an arrogant little piece of shit to be honest with you I know more about him. Anyway, he was assisting and this girl was drop-back standing up But her heels were coming up just like much just like 90% of the Astonga population does and the assistant this guy Came up and was like fussing at her about it and he said you got to keep your heels down Well, I can't can't get back with my heels down and he was like that's okay. I'll spot you I'll have my hands there to catch you Well, I didn't spot her She smacked her head on the floor, but this is one of those people this assistant who I've known for years now I've practiced beside him for years now and He's never had any issues in his practice There no issues have come up yet for him and so his understanding of friction isn't there So that's why like David Grieg who is my original teacher He I don't know he's very hush-hush about how far he got and how far he's gotten in his practice as far as I think Someone said he got into fit series. I'm not 100% sure because he won't talk about it He's a very private, but I know that he's had a lot of issues in his practice because of the way he teaches He understands He understands the limitations He understands Working with the limitations and that the limitations are not necessarily a bad thing They're actually the resistance you need to create that light and that fire and that's I've said it before He was the one that changed my perspective on that because I've told his his mice room and Philly would be packed And he would have these like and I started practicing with him when I was in my 20 So I was one of these girls in my 20s that was thin and athletic and all this stuff So the young girls would come in and he'd be like whatever next plaster But when an elderly man would come in who was overweight Had a belly Couldn't touch his toes David got so excited Because now we have something to work with The people that were just doing it they didn't have anything to really work with We had to okay next posture. We had to keep going until we found that thing to work with But when the person that walked in and already had something to work with There was already an Obstacle of extra weight. There was already an obstacle of tightness. This was resistance It's like resistance training. It's like using weights. That's a resistance. Your body's already providing that. Yes This is exciting. And so that changed my perception Watching him and seeing how he worked with that and I'll never forget. I used to practice beside this man Who had a fake leg? I think I've talked about this before and he had had his fake leg for years So he was very comfortable It was no big deal for him. He had learned how to work with it. Well the first time David worked with him David walked in and was like Like a kid on Christmas morning because now there was a new puzzle There was a new obstacle and how exciting is this and he would sit there I'm not gonna say the guy's name because I know he still lives in Atlanta But he would say, you know, I'm gonna make up a name. Oh Johnny Johnny How does this work? What about this and the fact that that you can still and that's what I learned watching him work With my friend who was an amputee that this energetic body were like pushing into the big toe that that energy was still there even if the leg was not That you could still access that energy even if the land and that puzzle and how incredible How amazing the universe gave you this opportunity the universe took your leg And so now you get the privilege of Finding the substance of energetic body without the physical manifestation. How cool is that? Wow the universe decided or your soul decided to be in a body that has the propensity to gain weight How cool is that? Because now you already have the resistance You don't have to find it your soul gave it to you. Wow What can you learn from that struggle? Because if you are carrying extra weight, guess what scientifically happens now, you're gonna get stronger Because you're gonna have to because in yoga you're lifting your own damn body weight So I'm about a hundred ten pounds That's what I've had to lift all this time is a hundred ten pounds. What about someone who's a hundred sixty pounds? How much stronger are they than I? How much more is there to really activate and push into than I have And I think we see I think we were talking about this idea of like wanting to obtain perfection And so I think sometimes we see people Who have like the perfect practice and we think that they've obtained something, but that's simply not true Because in my experience the people with the pretty practices are Usually haven't attained that much at all Unless there's someone like a stronger. I mean I I will I will be honest primary series came very easy for me I went through it very quickly But my hamstrings have always been open. They've always been open. I've always been strong I've always been athletic Getting my leg behind my head was no big deal But when I got to second series shit hit the fan My karma came up in seconds. That's when I punched him Feldman That's how I broke my sacrum. I had to go back and relearn second series second series put me into trauma therapy Because my nervous system started shaking uncontrollably So for me Like if I do an awesomeness shot like a picture for marketing I'm gonna put my leg behind my head or do a forward fold because that's what I excel in that's what looks good on a picture For marketing, but my real practice lies in second series because that's where I'm triggered That's where there's resistance. That's where it's oh I punched a teacher interesting Why did I do that because not no one else in the room doing that posture did that? Why did I it's the same posture? What was it what was there alchemically for me? That made me do that Without it was so instinctual. I didn't because I've never hit never hit anyone in my life except for Tim Feldman So why? I've also had back surgery. So that's interesting, right? So there's a connection there There's a weakness. There's a and we know that nothing in the physical body is just calls of just nature It's all a manifestation of something else. So what is that? That's where I get that's where you get to Nancy drew yourself You become the boxcar children. You're off to stop the mystery To figure this out because the karma is the work. It's your work. And so and I know like Just chatting with Morgan offline like he's got a beautiful practice But we're probably gonna talk about the struggles too, you know And that's why I had a broken bone. I think or a dislocated shoulder and He practiced through that Yeah, he has some kind of injury I was going through his videos and I saw that and I was like that is fascinating. I Practiced through my broken sacrum. I Talked about it with you with the with Catherine. Yeah, you're not doing your full practice And and that's the choice you have so when I broke my sacrum. I was in a my sore room not here No, I wasn't in I wasn't in Georgia. I was in a different state And I had been kind of like manipulated this this teacher is not that I'm not a good person I've been manipulated to come up and practice with him for like a week in Ohio and my friend my friend from Canada drove down and met me so that was fun and I got to his shawa and Anyway, he did an adjustment on me that you're not supposed to do and like I said my legs We kind of got into a little bit of an argument over I had driven the 10 hours up to Ohio and Whenever you travel You're supposed to do primary series Like when you get there just to settle your body back in from traveling Because or anytime you go through anything crazy You need to just go back to primary series for a while to let your body Reground itself and we kind of got into a little argument because he wanted me to jump right in the second And I was like no, I'm not going to do that Because I know I know this practice and that's not going to be good for me because I already am but I'm already You know traveling is bought to derangement. It's already anxiety And so I need to at least have a day of just primary just to recalibrate myself So finally he let me do that granted he's a colleague of mine right so Usually you don't really talk back to your teacher, but at that point we were kind of colleagues anyway So in the middle of primary series you have a posture called soup to cremosa now Which is kind of like the pivotal posture where it's you're laying with your head on the mat on your mat And your legs are over your head behind your neck and your bound And it's like a tortoise pose, right? So your your spine is curved with your legs behind your backs your legs are behind your head Now it's in soup to cremosa. I did not need to be adjusted in it at all. There was no reason to adjust me in it But he comes around and this guy was like he's like six foot four six foot five big guy on sits on my back sits on me and Then takes my legs and pulls them towards him So he's pushing my back down as my legs are coming towards your back is supposed to be curved in this posture the biggest loudest pop Raying out throughout the whole my story when my friend who had driven down to meet me to practice me Sat up and like looked I could see him and I felt intense pain But I just kind of froze and the teacher the guy Did not get off of me Even after that sound came out of my body. He did not he kept staying there I went through the whole rest of my practice I think I was in a state of shock because I didn't feel anything really I felt some pain right when it happened until I got back to the hotel and I fell on the floor I couldn't get off off the floor. I was in so much fucking pain My friend who is also a rakey person tried to like help and figure out what's going on I ended up staying the whole week in practicing full-on Second series after that with a broken sacrum. I had no idea it was broken I didn't know until I came back to Georgia and was still in Just crying pain and I'm I can take pain. I have a very high a threshold for pain and So I went to the doctor and After I found out it was broken I had so much anger come up towards this particular teacher because I was like that son of a bitch He did that to me on purpose. There's more to the story that I found out later about why Let's just say he's a man and he wanted something from me that I wasn't willing to give him And I didn't know that at the time because he's a married man That never entered my mind But I wasn't going to be there to do that for him So I had a lot of anger come up towards him. I had to modify my practice so much I Had to really but I kept moving but I said this with captain this morning. I could have very easily quit I Could have very easily been like, you know what this is fucked up. I'm tired of these bad people But I started to kind of separate the idea of a human can be faltered But the teaching is still pure just because he did something fucked up does not mean that the teaching is not pure And my friend from Canada who was there when this happened Because he is like a movement specialist. He really worked with me to try to help me figure out How to help heal my body? I was in my mid 30s at this time like I wasn't a young young chick You know and because the practice at this point I've been doing the out strong practice for so long that my body did have a level of comfort in the practice and You know, there wasn't a lot of shocking change because it was used to it And my friend kept saying you need to try bar try bar because it's going to really Get your core stronger in a different way and get your glute stronger to help the healing process And I went to a couple bar classes here in Atlanta. I wasn't impressed but that's how I found Marnie Alton Was through that experience and she literally changed me She offered me without her even knowing it. I found a level of healing through her That went beyond the sacrum break She has helped me heal things And I would have never found her if it wasn't for this issue with this asshole teacher and So every time we're confronted with this so for me that break was an obstacle It was resistance. It was friction and I had a choice I could have walked away or I could have leaned into the friction which I did and that's how a whole new world opened up for me which was through Marnie Alton's bar and And I kid you not My body at this point at almost 40 years old. I'm in better shape now Than I was before the break and it's because of her and So what the devil used for bad God will use for good. And so we take these points of resistance and are karmically That teacher needed to do that to me Karmically I asked for that because karmically The cause and effect of that the action reaction Opened up a whole new world of healing for me that I would have never found without it and You know and so I am very grateful for all so I guess to make a long story short Every place where you feel struggle is a sacred place Where you excel in anything is not what's sacred It's where you struggle That's what's holy That's the magic I keep telling I tell my live in live in person classes this and I tell the online classes this I'm bored by pretty yoga Pretty osuna bores the shit out of me It's not interesting I'm gonna see Cirque du Soleil and they do it better as my teacher says like whoop-de-do you can do a handstand Fantastic anybody can do a handstand They practice That's not impressive But when I see someone come into in the yoga room who's falling all over their mats Having a hard time balancing Sweating, but they're focused and they're working it makes me emotional because that's beautiful mmm That's what's inspiring I get emotional thinking about it The 22 year old that hasn't had anything. It's just fun and games and look my heads look at my head, but I like behind it That's so fucking boring Like it's like my teacher said this once and I agree with him. He was like if you want to impress me be a good person Hmm, you know many and he's so funny in the yoga mice or room If someone does a handstand where there's no handstand called for do you know what he does? He pushes them over Like knock it off stop that you know how some people will do in their sun salutations They'll do this fancy like the lift up to a handstand and then come down and chat around go Don't do that in India. You'll get pushed over. That's your ego Hmm That's not called for in the practice. So why are you doing it? It's not called There are places where handstands are called for very specific places But it's not called for in a sun salutations. So why are you doing it? Who are you trying to impress? You can't impress sure. I he's seen it all. He's done it all Mm-hmm. He's not gonna be impressed by your he sees handstands all day. You think he cares and fucking care Be a kind person then you impress him be a good person then you impress him Yeah, I tell people tell me you can't feel yoga the only way you can feel yoga is if you're an asshole That's the only way you can feel yoga Right the the possum and I hope people understand that so even with the bar with the kickboxing with the dance You know if you're doing the kickboxing all of a sudden you're like fucking hell This is hard and you're punching and you're sweating. You're like I'm gonna throw up beautiful You hit something What is that that you just hit? What is that you might not know what it is you might have inherited that nugget of anger from grandma You don't know but now it's yours hot potato. I passed it to you now. It's yours What are you gonna do with it? When you haven't like we talked about that with Richard Simmons in the challenge that he was born with a foot deformity mm-hmm, and Then he became one of the most inspirational people right and this is also why I know they were talking about all the questions so let's kind of talk about that Amy about this idea of perfection and what this means and You know this can kind of spill over into shadow work, too Yeah, yeah, so I think you know most of us has have went to public school or I like to call them public indoctrination centers and Mine was one of my parents paid for me to be a doctor. Oh, man And You know, we're all accustomed to being focused on the grade and getting a good grade We're not focused on learning and there there isn't an emphasis on what a child knows. It's just what it what are your grades? What are your grades? I mean even parents and grandparents they don't ask the Children typically well, what did you learn? What did you like about today? What was the most interesting thing that happened today? They want to know about the grades and so that's what our focus is on and to get the grade You have to do everything and you have to be you know Perfect with it But with shadow work, we're not going for a grade and it's very very personal so even if you answered just one question for the entire month of November and You answered it well and you learned something about yourself and you made a change You did exactly what you were supposed to do You're not behind You're not you don't have to catch up. It's not a race. You don't have to compare yourself to anyone else If you can't finish a day or if you can't finish questions or if you don't have enough time to journal I know we're all busy. We probably all have children and Families and jobs and pets and homes and you know, I'm sure most of us don't have maids and cooks and butlers and all those things So we're doing life all ourselves so Whatever it is that you can accomplish Using a template like what Bryce made it's just a template you can pick and choose Whatever you get done is beautiful Yes, it's beautiful and as I was telling Emmy before because I mean I've both been on a shadow work journey for a very long time so with the questions that I ask and that will be asked in the Basically there's there's not going to be any less questions and there's probably going to be more and what this is doing guys So what what we're doing with these questions is when we go with as you notice There's momentum that builds up to certain exercises. We're not just going to start you on the very first day with a heavy We're going to have you get acclimated to the exercise acclimated to journaling and then we get to those heavy Days you've built up to this and the exercise that I put for the template of that day is going to trigger certain feelings that we want to trigger certain resistance and So when I ask a lot of questions or write a lot of questions down all those questions are doing you don't even have to answer any Of them. They're prompting you to think about things Do I suggest I? suggest What you did Bryce was brilliant by the way and and I saw I saw I saw that What I would suggest is For the day and the questions for the day Answer the questions first that you don't want to Don't start with the quit don't just start with the questions, you know from top to bottom. I Mean unless they build on each other, you know, there's exceptions But if there is a particular question or questions that you don't want to answer do those first That's where your struggle is. That's where your trigger is. That's where the interesting stuff is going to be That's where the beauty and the epiphanies are going to come from is doing the stuff. You don't want to do and doing it first You know because then if we have limited time At least what we're working on is really going to dig deep and pull that stuff up And I even suggest because when I wrote the template and I was like and I would every day Or my channel I'd go put through the next day and I would read through all the questions So that you would already be thinking So like I would read the questions at the beginning of the day So that I would feel the energy of the practice of the exercise the meditation and then I'd have these questions in my head that I would be Kind of contemplating all day before I sat down at night to journal So you don't even have to answer any of the questions as long as you are Contemplating and being prompted over what is betrayal? What is grief? What is childhood trauma and so you can start to ask yourself those hard questions that you don't have to tell that And no one's reading your journals like I'm I don't want to read your journal I would feel like I was an invading in your privacy if I read your journal I respectably I respectively would decline to read your journal because that is supposed to be Your most intimate thoughts just for you. And so I want to reiterate that too. First of all, yes This is just a template The words the template we sent you they're just words on a paper. That's all they are They're just words on a paper with links on them. That's it. That's all it is. It doesn't make you You don't get an A. You don't get it a B. You don't get it. There's a grading system You your experience is what brings life to the experience Your feelings is what brings life to the words on those paper But the words on those paper is like how many people do you know, Emmy who are really good cooks? Maybe you're one of them I'm not I had to I had to call my mom to ask her how to boil an egg not that long ago So I am not that great of a cook But how many people do you know that our good cooks? I can get a recipe But then kind of do their own thing with the recipe there to kind of see But they're just using the recipe just kind of as a suggestion Yeah, I do that. Yeah, it's the same thing with the template, you know with the it's this is kind of The outline we're going with But if you have we have come to a day for betrayal and I ask you a bunch of questions about betrayal I'm having and then I asked and I won the questions asked was when where did you betray yourself? So have you ever thought about that? Where have you betrayed yourself? You know, we put blame on all these people who've heard us But where are we hurting ourselves because we have to first hurt ourselves Before that wound can be open to allow someone else to do it to us, too Hmm, you know and so these this is what I'm prompting. It's not that you have to answer it Listen, it's not an essay. I'm not gonna check your spelling. I'm not gonna check a grammar It's just a method of you being able to pull up that side that shadow side of yourself to face it And for some people here's I think we said this before we started filming, you know for some people They're not gonna have a huge trigger with childhood trauma There might be some little things, but it's not gonna be as debilitating as some other people Same thing with betrayal Some people are gonna have or I have a hard time with betrayal. I Have a really hard time with with processing that Because I and this is my struggle Because once you've been betrayed Your level of trust drops in people and I don't want to be the person that doesn't trust anyone I don't want to be the jaded person. I want to constantly be able to extend my heart to people and my often I don't want to be the person that's afraid But I am there is a part of me that's afraid now. There is a part of me I've had to really think especially as of late I was massively betrayed and I want to be able to forgive. I Want that and I'm having to work through that because there's fear there And so that's my own shadow work because the reality is is that fear is coming from me So how do I heal that with mice? That's my that's my part of my work on this journey You know, but for somebody else it could be different. We all have different stories The karma is all different I do want to bring up too because I said this to me too We're also looking at the arc for Dodger as well So there's two things that are happening one can be this need to be perfect But another situation we're looking at is the artful Dodger. You want to explain the artful Dodger? This is from David great. Let's tell David great talk to what is the artful Dodger and me We all have we all have our own little artful Dodger. Oh, yeah, the artful Dodger would be the part of your mind when You're supposed to get on your mat and oh, I have to go pee Oh, I need to switch to laundry if I don't switch laundry right now. My stuff's not going to be done Oh, I forgot to pull me out for dinner. Yeah. Oh my back hurts. Oh bad. Oh That kind of stuff is artful Dodger not wanting to do the work coming up with very crafty clever clever Yes, very tactical Excuses or reasons why you should wait or not do it or procrastinate or What have you? It's that it's that part of you that that likes to justify and Talk you out of doing what's good for you. It's your ego Exactly ego comes in so many different forms and one thing wrong dolls talked about is When you are doing a spiritual practice and you really start to push the ego into that corner The ego all of a sudden will push back in a very major way Like a lion it comes out right before it dies And I think that I think we go through many ego deaths actually But you know so an artful Dodger could be you could be using the need of perfection to not answer the questions Because when we answer those questions in shadow work, what are we challenging our ego? Mm-hmm the pain we feel is coming from the ego Because the ego is what will die one day You won't your soul's eternal, but your soul isn't your ego Leo's a false soul And whenever we have to look at these these these shadows in our self we have to face our own imperfection We have to face our own shortcomings We have to face the the side of us that can be abusive even to ourselves And the opposite way so I've struggled with inflammation and I know and they asked you with Autoimmune issues and right when I broke my sacrum. I started to really heal my autoimmune flare it up Which I know why it's because I was angry. I was pissed at this this teacher and I really went through a year or so Where I was doing the morning altar, but I was I was processing a lot of that anger and it was showing up as major Arthritis like to the point where I would get up in the morning and I can hardly at 35 36 years old could hardly get out of bed Because my body was so fucking inflamed and then I'd have to go teach So it'd have to take like for ibuprofen before I go teach just so I knew that I would be able to support Somebody in a posture in a back bend not drop them because I was so it was bad. It was bad And I was in India and I was talking with my teacher and copper. I had a schedule a meeting with him And I typically don't really go to charot for personal stuff But this was a major and I was like, I don't know what to do. I was like my arthritis is really bad I talked to him about my sacrum all that kind of stuff. He knew everything about that was going on And he looked at me and he goes, you know, the sixth day a week practice is just general He goes for now you do four days a week You give yourself three days a week of rest Your body's been through a lot and it needs to it. He doesn't need the stimulation and I kind of Kind of so what my ego will do is the exact opposite of trying to avoid the practice It will dive deeper into it to punish myself. So what I was doing is I was mad at myself For being so stupid as to not realize that this slimy teacher Wanted something else for me other than just to hang out and let me practice in a shawl and be comrades and like friends and like I Was so fucking mad at myself as a woman Who had lived in Los Angeles who had seen this slimy behavior and I was pissed because it was happening in the yoga world Hmm, and I think I was mad at myself because it doesn't matter if it's the yoga world people are people They'll make mistakes and they'll falter the narcissists are everywhere and So what I was doing subsequently Was by pushing even harder in my practice as my secret started hill. I was punishing myself I was abusing myself because I was mad at myself for allowing that to happen and When he said that it hit me It hit me that I need to let myself rest Because I have been through a trauma and Again, that's when I started incorporating more bar and I got stronger and it's informed me more on how the decisions that I make I'm also bought to pit us So I do have the propensity to do that anyway bought to pit is that's you know a cop a person will go the opposite way Well, they'll rest too much right they'll punish themselves by overeating or by you know not allowing their but where I will Go the opposite direction and so now I'm like okay, so he was pointing something out to me That I think my teacher could see that that I was beating myself up I was taking over abusing myself from what that teacher had done to me I took over from him and and that is that was huge epiphany for me And so now I do about three to four days of my Austin of practice in the other days. I do bar That's what I do Because then and then after that Recognition I already started doing Marnie Alton, but then her words and her classes started to heal me even more because I was more I was more ready to hear it Because I had realized what I what I was doing to me does that make sense Absolutely, and so the artful Dodger is artfully my favorite movie when I was a kid was the 1968 Oliver The sing-along the musical and I had a little crush on the artful Dodger The kid who played the artful Dodger, but um, but you know, we all have that artful Dodger We are our egos are always going to find a way to try to sabotage the work Because once the work is finalized once we break through the ego can't exist It's you're in your egos in a life is in a life-or-death battle right now It's the Robin a story It's gonna get really crap Crafty because you know as as you grow spiritually your ego becomes Spiritual and then you have this spiritual ego and you're like wait a minute. I see It's our secammal flage itself I was in the egos walking around ball of beads and like putting a bindi on every day all the spiritual teachers and yeah, you know He talks of spiritual materialism, you know, and it's um, and it's funny because Krishna Doss who's big Kirtan person who studied with Brahm Doss and Bhagavan Doss same same guru I'm not a huge Kirtan fan, but um Krishna Doss looks like Ned Flanders You see him like he doesn't look like a spiritual person. He wears like khaki pants and a tucked-in shirt. It looks like an accountant Because he's not interested in dressing the part Because he is the part he doesn't need and so I we laugh at that all the time people who like come in They're like all groovy and they like wear like 50,000 malla beads and like, you know lit it and it's like First of all, you're not supposed to show your malla beads to anyone kind of like your private parts You're not supposed to show them to anyone, you know, it's it's kept away and see you use it Then you put it away, right? Kind of like your I'll just go and say it because I'm dying to messiah the word messiah means penis I found that out today. So it's kind of like your messiah. You only show it to So, yeah, that's what I mean guys it means a phallic pillar So, um, you know, it's it's so yeah, and that and you see that a lot in the ashtanga world actually is people I'd the the the really deep practitioners of ashtanga look like Ned Flanders They don't dress and like malla beads or You know groovy pants or They wear normal clothes Because they don't need nothing wrong with linen and I don't like learning yourself, you know, it's like oh, I'm spiritual And decorating yourself out like your wife if you're a walking billboard I've done all this stuff, you know, and and that's just not you know, it's it does not It it doesn't matter who knows what you've done If you feel like people need to feel it. Yeah, if you feel like you need to advertise You might want to write about that. Yes I'm not only I only talk about my past experience for marketing purposes. So people can trust me as a teacher But beyond that I'm not in the grocery store telling the person aside and you know, I broke my sacrum once You know, I've been to India multiple times No, that's just for me You know, it's just for me. That's it, you know And that's and that's one thing I always say too about going to India because when you go to India to study at the meanshawah You have to really go to want to be a student because you can't you can't get authorized because you want to get There's no process to apply to be authorized You either get authorized or you don't and it takes years of going and then Sharath decides You one day he just will walk up to you while you're practicing and be like you meet me in my office at 3 30 and the whole day You're freaking out because you think you've done something And you get in there and he's handing you a piece of paper And he says I'm going to authorize you to go teach No balloons fall out of the ceiling. There's no like cake that's given to you or It's just a piece of paper And then you go home and you sit there for a minute and you go, holy shit. What just happened? Um Todd has a funny story when Guruji told Todd to go teach when uh, Sharath's grandfather who was Tommy Joyce, um Todd he told Todd to go teach And the next when Todd left India He went back to San Diego to continue practicing with Tim Miller and he walked into Tim Miller Shala and Tim Miller goes What the fuck are you doing here? And he said I'm here to practice and Tim said Guruji told you to go teach And Todd was like, oh, I'm not ready to teach and he was like dude. You're never ready. You just gotta go do it Guruji told you to go do what you do it. He thinks you're ready And Todd was like, where do I go and he was like, well, you're from the southeast, right? Is there yoga in the southeast? No That's where you go Make some Take it green do it. So Todd was the one who brought yoga to the southeast You know and that's and that's just kind of how it happens. And so there's no grandiose. There's no You know, like I said, there's no celebration people will take their picture But I have my picture somewhere holding my authorization by the side going, holy fuck. What just happened But um, are you I I was going to tell this with morgan when we do the show There was one time I was in the shawl with charade and he gave me a posture The next posture for the to do and I it was like a shit show on my mat. No, I looked at charade and I go Are you sure? And charade just like bobble this at me. I was like, why did I say that? Of course, you're sure. I was like, are you See are you sure? It started bobble his head. I mean, I was like, oh, yeah, okay. I'll I'll do it now But anyway guys, so I think what we want to say before we get into the 60 day Challenge is there are going to be more questions. There is going to be more work But that does not mean that you have to answer all of them. They're just Yeah, you don't have to you don't have to do You don't have to do any of it if you just did one day it it will still bless you. You're not you're never behind Whatever you get done Is exactly what you're supposed to get done Yeah, you know, just just keep in mind Keep your ego in check make sure you're not making excuses for yourself But whatever you get done patch yourself on the back you deserve it. You don't have to get an a You don't have to do it all I didn't do it all I didn't I didn't do it all I didn't expect people to do it all I I might my Goal is to always over deliver So that you have Options and so that you and riddle me this like say this happens say like you're doing the challenge You come to the day where there's a lot of questions about a hard topic and you're like, I'm not going to do this I'm not ready for this but then six months down the road You might be doing your practice and you might remember that go back pull the template up and now you're ready Now you're right. Even if you even if you don't Answer every question or per taken in every exercise The seed is planted. Yep. The seed is planted and and it will come back to you down the road if you're not ready for it now You think reading through the yoga sutras the first time you get everything from the yoga sutras on the first read No No, no, I in fact, I read a couple of day I read a couple every day So I can really go through it and go slow and underline and highlight and really just take it in I've been rereading the yoga sutras now yearly for 16 years I every time in india I go back and I retake us the same sutra class over and over again 16 years. I've done it even before I started going to india. I reread it every year Do you know what happens to me every year? I already know Yeah, I I see something in a different way even teaching them Happens to me every time I teach the sutras. I find something. I'm like, oh interesting Now I see what he's saying here So same thing with even though I'm not I'm not baton jolene by any stretch of the imagination But when we're looking at this deep work, it's not going to be taking it's not a checklist It's not a grocery list. You just check off, right? It's a constant like the eight limbs of ashtanga yoga. They're constantly working in a wheel together It's constantly just because you handle the the topic of grief and this upcoming challenge And he's going to do a thing a week of grief Just because we're going through it in one challenge doesn't mean that it's not going to reappear A year from now in your life But what's going to happen though is you're going to be more evolved and better equipped to recognize it And you can go back and pull the template up and be like, oh my god, let me reread this book again Let me read. Okay. I'm seeing my grief in a different perspective I'm seeing my anger at it in a different perspective now And because I can see it in a different perspective, I can heal a different different side of this As my friend Cindy says, I'm just trying to get through this life to not bring karma into the next We don't want to bring the louis baton travel set with us. We want to leave it in this life So that our next life is different different obstacles So if you guys have any questions about that, do not hesitate to ask I did, you know, I told emmy that we kind of debated on whether bringing this up or not But yeah, I just wanted to clarify that there there will still be questions. There will probably be more questions in the next Go round, but it's not Mandatory it's not not mandatory. Yeah It's just a prompt. All it is is a prompt That's it No one is reading. I no one is going to be reading your journal No one is judging you No one trust me when you get deep in a shadow where you're not judging anyone. Are you? Because you're so you're like, I'm missing my life's a shit show. Like I have no place to judge anyone What they're going through, you know, but just observe the artful dodger Ask yourself those hard questions and then again Maybe the questions that you don't want to answer now. It's because it's not time In six months from now, maybe it will be time. I don't know You know, trust the path you're on Trust that this is hard, but it's hard for everyone And it and it's we're all we're all just walking each other home, right? We're all getting through this shit show together. So anyway, you guys, um, yeah, anything you want to end off with emmy Um, okay, so I will say this doing shadow work can sometimes be heavy And well, it can a lot of times be heavy So I really encourage you guys and maybe we can incorporate this in the 60 day challenge But I really encourage you to spend some time Looking at your character assets What is it about you that you love? What is it about you that other people love? What are you good at? What comes easily and naturally to you, you know, I noticed this beautiful interaction in the signal group and I have not seen love and support and encouragement by such a large group of people. I don't think anywhere I mean, you know, maybe in my recovery groups, but those meetings are small I mean, we have so many people helping other people and I really think that that we should take time to Love ourselves and and remind ourselves how wonderful we are and and all of the good Qualities and good aspects about ourselves that we have because that's so so important. It's so important That's why I think I'm going to do this again in the 60 day where one day I had you write a letter by hand To someone that you really admired in your life And to send in that letter of how much you loved them and respected them and after you did that I had you Write down everything you loved about that person in your journal and then reflect on that Those are actually qualities of yourself Because the light you see in someone else is your just like the things about someone else that annoys you or things that about yourself You need to heal the things you love about someone else are also things about your it's all a reflection of you So I'm going to do that again the next where you're going to be maybe a couple of times in the challenge Writing a letter to someone your colleague An old friend that you really admire and just tell them and also ask like how would you feel if you got that letter? You know from somebody that Sends you a letter of like admirate, you know So you're not only healing yourself. You're helping healing someone else And that's why a lot of times at the end of the really hard ones. I said, well, what if I think after you draw What are five things you like about yourself? What are things about you that are cool? And you have a cool sense that you think you got a cool sense of music Like I think I have really cool taste of music, you know What are what are things about you that are I know I'm fun. I have fun with people I'm a fun drunk, you know, there are things about that you that you think you're cool write them down too because yeah It's an aspect of you too So absolutely absolutely So all right you guys, um, let us know your questions in the comment section below and what we can do I love all the suggestions. We've gotten so many. We are the book club was a suggestion and signal I mean, there's so much suggestions going on and I'm so excited. There is going to be way more Choice for exercises because let's face it the people who did the 30 day challenge Your fitness level is now on it. You now need more friction than someone who's just starting which is okay Right. It's now. I always say don't compare a chapter one to somebody else's chapter 10 Well, now honey, you're at chapter two. So you can now help the person at chapter one And you can help the person now starting a friend that wants to do it with you You see, you know what? Here's an eight minute bar video. I'm going to do the 45 But you start with the eight Just start with the eight minutes and see what happens. Just see what happens Yeah, that's a great idea. That's a great idea Like maybe we could all get a friend or two and tell them about this challenge and see if they'll join us and then Help them and I said this on my video that I think just released but I'm going to try fingers crossed For one of the prizes for the 60 day challenge is a private lesson with Marnie Alton So there's going to be really good. We got really good prizes. I'm going to try for that one next one Um, I'm also going to donate a private lesson with me as well Um, I know Emmy just donated a rakey for the nest 30 days I'm assuming everybody who donated is probably going to donate again because they're all helping me with a template So such cool prizes. So tell your friends like not only do you get to I mean, that's the biggest prize is like What you show yourself you can do, you know, but you also get I mean a private lesson with Marnie Alton is like $600 So I'm going to try to score that as a prize We'll see we'll see what happens fingers crossed So she I know she's going to come on the channel at some point So, um, yeah Private lesson with me is not $600 But um, it's about 200 So it's not as but uh, but you know, so so that might be yeah So tell them and that might be an enticing to get them to get into the challenge And when what what's the biggest reward though is what I mean, Emmy We got people training for fucking marathons right now. Have you noticed that in our group? What people are I think it's like somebody posted it might have been like a 2022 some major like I mean, I am like Video tape this for us because holy shit Like that's my brother-in-law runs marathons like holy crap. Like that's intense and Wow So proud. I mean holy shit like what started off as a 45 minute bar video on november 1 now This is where you are look at you Look at you Wow, I people are signing up for dance classes like the joy Of I just think it's so amazing 40 year old 50 year old women are taking tap dance. Wow I want to come tap with you. Can I join your tap because that sounds like a blast How amazing and that's a whole new community of people you're meeting in these classes people are I've had people say they want to get a tune for reiki actually told someone to reach out to you Me to find um to help guide them on what kind of attunements they're looking for and stuff like that like how amazing So you went into this challenge you bring a friend who's going into this challenge thinking they're gonna maybe win some prizes And they come out of it signing up for a fucking marathon like what? No, like this is incredible You know like that is that is where you you pat yourself on the back and realize you're actually the winner You are actually the prize The other stuff is just extra And so Yeah, tell your mom how many 80 year olds I had so many people in their 80s doing this and me I don't know if they're on signal because I don't think my 80-year-old grandparents knew how to work a cell phone so I don't know though, but um, but 80 year old people are like my parents are in their 80s and they're doing it That's awesome Isn't that amazing? I mean how badass is that? I hate you know people say well am I too old? No, you're not you got that much more wisdom to work with You know like look at you. You are the wise one. You are the one coming in this You're gonna have a whole totally different perception on what's happening because look what you've lived through You know how many recesses have you been through, you know, so that's incredible and and I'm just I'm just so I'm so proud of every person you guys are heroes to me You know you you you've I thank you because you you healing yourself is also healing our world and we got to share this place together So I thank you For doing your part For not sitting on the sofa and eating your popcorn and what but deciding to get up and actually do something And I am so proud and so grateful to each and every one of you For making that decision to send that email in and get that template Amen So all right you guys so next challenge is the 108 sun salutations on the winter solstice I will have that up on my channel. I'll send it to emmy to put on hers as well I might need an ambulance You go slow as you need to Just see it as interesting and you got to take a little pee break in between and notice how shaky you are I just think oh interesting. I'm shaking right now. This is interesting Am I taking all morning? That's fine. That's fine. Get you some christmas cookies afterwards. That's fine You know so anyway guys. All right. We love you guys and we will talk to you all soon. Bye everybody. Bye