 What do you guys like about being Black? Basically we have history of Black people like Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, they all do great things in life. Yeah, I like being Black because it's just Black people got more edge. Like we got a lot of talent. I'm the man up in this space! King Kong ain't got shit on me! It doesn't matter how many degrees I get, all you people see is color. My grandfather was born here Duke, and you people still look at me as just another nigga. I didn't run out on my family. I was there every day for them because that's what a man does. Definition of a man. That's a big one. It means a whole bunch of things and it doesn't have any definition to it as well. I feel like a man is one who handles his responsibilities, who takes care of the people around them, both profit and provider. Being confident, strong, whether that be physically, mentally or spiritually. Put the triggers, be a man, get it done. That's what men do, you know? Throwing away all emotion, you can't be emotional as a man. Just don't know how to be. You know, brother's gotta be hard all the time. I couldn't even smile walking down the street as a child in my neighborhood. If you walk down the street as a child, smiling in your neighborhood, you will perceive this soft and very likely that somebody was gonna spot that and roll upon you. I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood. I was called the white black kid because I didn't play basketball or didn't do this or didn't do that. Even growing up, I always had to sit there for a moment and be like, damn am I really gay? Because I like to skateboard and play my guitar and I like punk rock music or I like to do non-traditional things. My understanding as a child was so limited due to the fact that I allowed my culture and my society to limit me. But that's the society that we live in. Black males have to have a certain level of masculinity and a certain level of aggression. It's hard for me to sit there and revert or default back to this like, oh, a man is committed, a man is responsible, a man is like, you know, strong and all this other stuff. Because those are like very old world viewpoints and I think they've led to a lot of really bad shit in society. Having to adhere to these kind of masculine traits constantly, I think it's burdening for any black men who don't exhibit those same traits. Some of my guy friends that now can say I love you back, I would say when I first said it, they was all thrown off. Yeah, they were all thrown off because it's just not something that you're used to seeing or hearing, especially in the black community. We so far behind in understanding masculinity, in front of another brother's like, what's up man, how you doing? But in another hand, we should be able to know how to embrace that brother and hug that brother and show love to that man beyond just a what's up and share that which we don't do because that's not culturally acceptable. We don't talk about our problems. That's the one thing and I think that you're going to get a lot of like those candid stories but at the same time they're going to be definitely like censored and kind of watered down. If I cry because I feel a certain way, man you're an athlete or you're a man. That's not masculine at all. But learning and understanding that, I can express and show this emotion because I'm a human being at the end of the day. If I'm hurt, I'm hurt. You know, if I'm bothered by something, I'm bothered by something and that's as simple as that. That doesn't make me less of a man. That's just me being a human being. Trying to be a man and coming up with that definition of being a man, a lot of times you know you have to define that inside. You always talk, I think as a black man you have to be almost twice as strong as the next man and oddly enough it's that strength that you see that scares everybody. I walk in a room full of white people. I have a talk different. I have to not get so angry because I'm usually the biggest one in the room and I don't want to be the angry black guy. We didn't have the same luxury I guess you could say as far as like a lot of white people and not necessarily like privileged when it comes to where they live and what they may have but just the feeling of not having to hide who you are. I figured we could hang out at Madison Square Garden. You got taken to the Nikkei? No! The Ice Capades! Brian Boyd Thomas doing a tribute to Ellen. Be there or be square. White folks have almost been allowed to explore the range of masculinity. You could be in a suit, you could be on a boat, you could be doing this, you could be doing that. All these different ways and that's masculine but we typically see black men as the athlete, the rapper. Those are the kind of prototypical roles for black men. I saw we because I thought that's what black dudes did. And that was my examples out there. It wasn't until my cousins hit one of his big homies was like, what are you doing? You go to school. You ain't about to be out here like this. J. Cole has a song out recently that I just relate to and he's like, brothers are the best actors because in the streets they have to put it on more to walk around and not be picked on or beat up on. And then when they go into the workforce they gotta switch it. My job, I talk like this. Hi, my name's Brian. Nice to meet you. How can I help you? Every day. It's craziness. I remember the first time that I actually experienced racism. It wasn't even on me, it was my friend JJ. We were in KV Toys in Indianapolis, Indiana. And this woman just came up to him and kicked him out for no reason. I was over by the Nerf guns and stuff. So she didn't even see me but I just saw he didn't do anything and she just kicked him out. And I went up to her and was like, excuse me, why did you just kick that kid out? She was like, sure did. And I was like, well why did you do that? And she was like, we've had trouble with his kind in the past. I couldn't take the chance. She was looking at me talking to me as if I wasn't him. And at that moment I was like, oh shit, I have to choose between being black and having toys. Like this is the craziest thing. I was playing with the other kids who were white at the pool and there was a lot of white people around. It was the summer. I had overalls on, full clothes on and we were splashing water. And I happened to splash water on a white woman who was out sunbathing on a dinghy. I guess she was just like laying out in the pool. And so she didn't want to get wet because she's trying to have a suntan but she's in the pool, right? So I splashed her by accident and she was got really mad and threw me into the pool. I was like seven. And I didn't know how to swim so I was just like struggling, struggling. And I can see and hear I'm coming up for air that these white people are laughing at me. And I keep thinking of that moment in my life and, you know, and I don't know. It wasn't horrible. I didn't die. And I wasn't like chased, you know, and I wasn't lynched. Yeah, but it did definitely maybe have a certain perception of white people and black and white relationships. Because the other kids were splashing water, whether they did it to her or not. It just felt like I was singled out, you know. Do I practice self love? I think I do practice self love. Practice is the key word in there because it's something that it's not like a destination. It's not like, okay, I look good today. This is self love and this is it. I love myself. No, like you have to continuously tell yourself and coach yourself into that. If I want to go and cheat myself, you know, I'll go and cheat myself. That's self love. I practice self love, self mastery every single day I can. And I'm human and I make my mistakes and I get insecure like everybody else. And I got my self esteem, things that go up and down. But I do practice a lot of self love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you can't love others if you don't love yourself. I think that's my job as a person and how to be better than I was yesterday. I've wrote different affirmations and put them on the mirror in my bathroom and I say them to myself. But also, I just, I tell myself I can do things. I mean, it sounds very minute, but it really goes a long way. It's weird in today's society that self love isn't practiced, you know, and being your best self. It's always about being somebody else or being like somebody else as opposed to owning yourself and being happy and great that you're black, you know, and that you got curly hair, you know, and that your skin is dark, you know, and I'm learning to love that every day. We actually have to love and respect ourselves because if we don't, who else will? And so, yeah. And also, yeah, I'm working on my credit. I'm working on my career. I just want to be, you know, I just want to be firing on all cylinders. And so, yeah, I love me some. You spend so much time, especially, as I said, as black men, trying to be, you know, this very like bold and strong figure. And it's okay not to be that. And so, yeah, my advice to young men would be to just be comfortable in like being on the edge and being on the fringe and thinking differently because those are signs of future success. Just try it. Just whatever it is that you're not confident in, it's all repetition. So I would say just try it. If you're struggling and you have confidence issues, so does everyone else just think about that? You think they don't, but they're struggling with it too. They're just better at like hiding it or masking it. Know that the confidence is in you. It's in eight. It was there at day one. You are a king. You don't need money or a crown. It's a mindset. You're a king. And you own everything you do. And keep trying. And you're going to keep becoming into yourself even more and more and more. Being yourself at the end of the day is what it all comes down to. Just continue to just work harder and don't stress about the fear of the unknown because it's going to be good on this side. The water is warm on this side.