 Quick question for you, which will set kind of the theme for this video, because if you resonate with the, I'm not enough, and what is this feeling of enough-ness? How do I even get there? Why am I feeling what I'm feeling? Let's go through that together today. Let's go through it. This is what this channel is all about. Let's take a topic. Let's break it down. Let's be human about it, okay? So try to answer this question. At what point in time in the future, what's scenario, envision one? Envision a time where you will finally be able to say to yourself, I'm enough. What does that point in time look like? What do you look like? Picture it. Close your eyes right now. Do you have a different body? Do you have more money, maybe a different job? Do you have more friends or a romantic partner? Yeah, maybe you live in a different city or somewhere else, or you're getting more sunshine, or you have a better relationship with your siblings or your parents, or you finally get that bicycle you always wanted, or the new skateboard. What are you thinking about? It's like when you can finally say I've arrived, you know what I mean? You're sitting on that park bench in the future and you're like, oh my gosh, am I ever enough? I did it. I really did it. Now you having that vision of you in the future, listen, listen, listen, where you can finally say that you're enough, that means today, while you watch this video right now, you can't accept the version, the person that you are right now until you get this, this, this, this, and this, then you're finally enough. You could only accept yourself the way you're going to be in that moment once you have all that. Where you start right now, you can't accept who you are. You'll only accept that you're enough once all the achievements are checked off, once the boxes are checked. Doesn't that seem a little ridiculous? Can't you sense that? It's like, wow, that is kind of messed up. It's like, does a sprinter at the beginning of the Olympics, they train their ass off for the 100 meter sprint, they train, they train at the start line. Do you really think they're thinking I'm complete garbage? I'm not enough. I will only be enough if I get first place when I finish that race, when I cross that finish line, then I will finally say to everybody and myself that I am finally enough that I won. And then the next heat comes in, right? And they smash the record. They said a new world record. And what is that person who just finished the race think? Well, I'm not enough anymore. That lasted about 13 minutes before the next race. It can't last like that. It can't last with these metrics of achievement and stacking our abilities up like a scorecard. The feeling that you have that you're not enough doesn't come from everything that you have in the material world. Things help for sure. But that's not what this is about today. Can I tell you a few stories? And I think they'll really help because they really help me. And listen. Oh, you all think I have this thing figured out, eh? Or maybe you don't. You're like, yeah, Scott's a mess like me. I got a lot of stuff figured out and I've learned a lot over the years, but it doesn't mean I don't have the most common thought in the history of humanity where these electrical impulses and neurons fire and somehow the neurons spell out in all our brains. I am not enough. Sometimes it's innate within us. That's something we deal with, man, because the world shows us how much we lack, doesn't it? Since the beginning of time, even since the advertising revolution in the forties and fifties, right? With the Industrial Revolution, you need the washing machine. You need the dryer. You need all of these different things to make your man happy because all these ads were really sent to women to make their man happy to be the garter and woman of the household. So, yeah, you need the dishwasher to be happy. You need the new iron. Here's the new toaster from GE. Here's the new coffee maker from Blibberd. Advertising today. The point of it is to say you lack this thing and without this thing, without this course, without this degree, without this piece of clothing or this new game system, this new technology, this new iPhone, you're not enough. You're not enough. And that's the advertising of material and objects. But the same is true for the soul and the spirit and the emotional quality of ourselves, too. What do you see on Instagram? You're not happy enough because look at who I am. Look at the business I've built. Look at I'm smiling all the time in my images. My life is perfect. You must lack something. People who are watching my videos. You must lack something. And I have the secret. I hold, listen, listen, listen, Scott St. Marie on YouTube right now. You watching this, I'm smiling. I got the white teeth. I hold something that you're lacking. I have the secret to your enoughness and you are going to pay me. And you're going to watch my videos in order to finally feel what I have and you don't, the contentment. And you can have it for six easy payments of $133 and 33 cents. That's what the world tells you. That's what Instagram tells you. That's a lot of what YouTube tells you. That's not it, man. That's so not it. If you've been struggling with the feeling of enoughness, can I put your shoulders at rest a little bit and put your mind at ease that it's not all out there and I don't have it for you. And nobody can sell it to you. Nobody can sell it to you. You can call it the new covenant and it's written on all of our hearts. And it's not for sale. GE can't sell it to you. Apple cannot sell it to you. You know what happens when you get a new toy. You know this from when you were a kid. Oh, the nostalgia of N64 and getting my first GameCube and Xbox and all of this stuff and these toys brought me so much joy and the memories are there. But the happiness fades. And the N64 wasn't as fun when I didn't share it with other people. You know the road I'm going down. So let me tell you a few stories, my friend. And I know this will click for you. I know this will click for you because if you clicked on the video and you've watched my videos before and you know my story and history with depression, anxiety, you know the heaviness that life can give us. They can give me and it can give you. So where does the enoughness come from? What does it actually mean for me and what does it mean for you? So Scott, it can't be bought. It can't be sold. Okay, it's not in some version of me in the future. So I can't accept myself in the future if I don't accept myself now. Okay, you got it. We're getting somewhere. Cool. Scott, how do I accept myself now? What do I need to do? Who do I need to be? What thoughts do I need to change? You're complicating things, dude. You're complicating things. Miss, mister, the person who's listening. I got this out of my collection for you. For those listening on the podcast, it's Frank Sinatra's album. Nice and easy. One of the best songs he's ever written in my opinion here. I love the way he sings it. Look at his hands are behind his head. My brother said that's the way he wants if he doesn't get cremated. That's the way he wants to look in his coffin. He wants his legs crossed and his hands behind his back behind his head. That'd be hilarious. Nice and easy. The way you get to the enoughness, man, it's not all the effort you think it is. It's nice and easy. You were so present as a child because everything was novel and new, and it was easier to take that stimulus and be in awe about it. You didn't have to think about a million things. And what do we do today based on what we see online and the ads we see and what we're told? It's like, is this going to make me happy? Is this going to bring me peace? Is this going to bring me contentment? Should I go skiing? Is that going to make me happy? Should I go to my friend's house? Well, if I stay home, I get to be on the couch. I've always wanted to watch the thing on Netflix. So will they bring me actually more happiness? Well, I'm going to say maybe I'm not going to commit fully because if something else comes up tonight, I'm going to go to that instead. And then that'll make me more happy. So I'm not going to go to that. They had the free wine, but they have the free beer. I like beer more than wine. So you know what, I'm going to say maybe to both because maybe I might want to see the backup, stay with Netflix. And maybe I'm going to go there. Friends, we're looking way too hard. We're thinking way too much about it. Does this, am I clicking with anybody? Cause I have that mind too. I'm like, what's going to make me the most content? How can I plan my present to make me more content in the future? How can I plan my evenings and days to be the most peaceful possible? I remember the Usher album, 87.01. And you're like, Scott, what the hell? Where did that come from? Hold on, hold on. You know how these podcasts go? I go in a circle and then we touch the nipple together. Okay. We're getting to the center 87.01 Usher came out and it was cool because you had a DVD with the CD and you put in your computer. And this was like the first CD burner and DVD player we had on this PCU. Is it called an IPC Pentium 3 32 megabytes of RAM and you put in the DVD and boom, you don't have to call came up and boom, you remind me came up and it came with two videos on that CD, DVD set. You don't have to call. It's OK, girl, because I'm gonna be all right tonight. You don't have to call. And then a bit later, Ludacris comes into the scene and he does a remix for it. He does a remix. And one of his lyrics is so dumb the way he says it. But the lyric is you're looking for love in all the wrong places. But the way he says it is you're looking for love in all the wrong places. And we're gaining wisdom from Ludacris in this episode. You're looking for love in all the wrong places. Maybe we are in the things we're sold in the things we're told. What we're told we should be. You should do that in order to get the happiness, right? You should do that in order to get the enoughness and the contentment. You're looking for love in all the wrong places. My friends, we think and I thought and sometimes it tricks me that I need to achieve in order to fill the cup of enoughness. I need to travel more. I need to skydive. I need to go to Burning Man. I need to rock, climb in Greece. I was talking to friends yesterday about Burning Man. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, add that to the list because that will make me better because I'll have more experiences. So are you not as enough of a person as someone who's been to 150 countries and you've stayed in your hometown, your whole life, are they better than you? Are they more enough than you are? Is their soul larger than yours? Do they have more value than you do? Hell no. That's not the way you were created. That's not the soul that was put into you. It's not smaller than anybody else. Absolutely not. So why do you think they're more enough than you are? They've done more. They have more. They are more bullshit. I'm taking the thought right from you. I'm spitting it out in my room here. I'm taking the thought there. It's gone. It's absolutely gone. Remember the simplicity. It's not in the future. It's in the now. Let me tell you two stories here. And I know you're going to resonate with them. And then we're going to have some homework for you for this week. And I know you're going to love it and it's going to be super helpful to you. And you can even meet me this Saturday if you want online. And you can chat with me there. I'll tell you about in a bit. Oh, I feel so good today. I feel so good today. And I feel so grateful to be able to speak with you about the things that I've been thinking of and how it's helped me a lot. So here's one. My friend Joel. We've known each other since we were two years old. We've been through everything together when I was six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, you know, the sleepover started, right? We had sleepovers. We, we went to school together. We'd walk home from school together. I have three older brothers. He's my fourth brother. Text him like every day. And we hadn't seen each other in a while. So we met up last week. But all through growing up, but especially when we were 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, all through high school and even through university. When I graduated university, moved back home. He did too. So we were back in the hometown together. And every single time, since I was 13 years old, when I walked through the door of Joel's house, his mom would be there. His dad would be there. The smell of a friend's house, you know, you can be blind. You can walk in blind. You know that it's their house just by the smell, just by the energy and the feeling you get. His dad would sometimes be in the family room. And he'd be watching the Jays game or something on the weekend. And right when I walk in, his mom said, Scott, the kettle's on. You want some tea? And I'd be like, obviously orange pico every time. A little bit of milk, a little bit of milk. Can you imagine it for yourself? Would that bring you safety, peace and contentment? Let me keep going. So Joel and I have our cups of tea, man. We're just young, but we love talking about life. And every time we grab the cup of tea, head into the family room, talk to his mom, talk to his dad. I'm always in love with older people. I get better, get along more with older people than people my age. So I'm just loving asking them questions. His dad's a priest. So I'm asking him questions about religion at such an early age. And we always head to the basement with our teas and we play some pool. And it was a snooker table. And we just had the regular size pool ball. So the pockets, right in a snooker table, so narrow. And the balls just fit because snooker balls are smaller. We're playing with the big one. So we got really good at pool because you have to be so accurate. One year after another, after another, after another. This is my life. This is part of my memory, part of who I am to this day. And can you recall memories like that that brought you to today? So I hadn't seen Joel in a while. I haven't seen his mom in a while. And I go to his mom's new place downtown Toronto. They sold the place and there's that that that home is still in my hometown. My parents lived there. So when I visit, go for a walk around the block and I pass Joel's house. And I see new people in the kitchen right where that kettle used to boil. Right when his mom would ask me that the kettle's on. Do you want some tea? And I wonder if that family's making tea in that kitchen because my memories are in there, but the memories are in the soul now, too. So last week I go over to his mom's house and I walk in the door and Joel's there. I haven't seen his mom in about three years. She looks the same. And I walk through the door and what do you think she says? Say it out loud, my friends. Yeah. Scott. Good to see you. The kettle's on. Do you want some tea? I'm 34 now. No time passes. We sit on the couch. We chat like nothing's changed. And in that moment, my friends, in that moment, in those moments sharing time, do you think I went to Joel's thinking of, will this make me enough? There's probably something better to do. Oh, I hope that she asked me about tea and that we can sit and there's milk in the tea and it's going to be like old times. I didn't have that thought at all. He just go expect nothing. Keep expectations at a minimum. You go and see what happens. And I promise you when you keep those expectations at a distance and you just do good things for other people, things that feel right to you, your cup of enoughness just happens. I promise you, it just happens. A lot of you try too hard. You don't need to try so hard. I admire you for trying hard. I admire you for fighting. I admire your courage to get up and figure this stuff out. And that doesn't mean there's nothing to figure out talking to someone about it. You know, if you're in a deep slump, you know what you got to do. But for the people that there's like an urge and a stickiness and a prickliness and a sense that I just don't feel it, there's always an emptiness. There's always a longing. I know that I know that longing and you think that there's a place on earth where you'll finally feel that enoughness and it's just here, man, you don't have to travel somewhere to get it. It's right here right now. And it'll hit you when you least expect it. So one more share and let me see if you kind of feel this one. And there's a constant theme and I hope it's kind of ringing. And these threads are connecting. I always thought that if I went on enough trips, I'm making deep memories, you know, like the bigger trips I go on and the more extreme they are and the crazier stuff I do and I'm not going to be able to do that. And I'll have more memories and therefore I'll be more of a person and therefore more, more enoughness will be filled my cup. I thought about this with my parents as they're getting older and I'm sure yours are. And if they've passed or they're still around, you may be able to definitely feel this is that you think the times with your parents and what you remember most would be the trips you went on, the big moments, the big conversations. Right. The real emotional times that you had. And sometimes yes, absolutely. But then what takes up more space surprisingly to me is what I'll remember most and what I do remember most with my parents, especially the last few years is is sitting with them in the family room watching Jeopardy. That's it. Nothing crazy. Nothing out of this world spectacular simplicity, like putting the kettle on and having tea and good conversation and enjoying a show with two people, my parents. And those are the memories that stick. And I felt so much enoughness like I was enough in those moments because I wasn't chasing anything because I wasn't chasing a version of myself that I had to create in order to accept myself as I am. My parents accept myself as I am. Therefore, I'm accepting myself as I am as I present myself to the world in this moment to you in downtown Toronto. Right now, as I go to fresh co and get groceries, as I run up to people on the street, I present to them as best I can. Just Scott, sometimes I put up a front. Like I got to be happy, like I got to be this guy. And you catch yourself and you practice this over time. I don't have to be anybody else. Right? When you feel like you got to be somebody else, it's like you have someone else's cup and you can't feel somebody else's like that. You can fill your cup of enoughness. My friends, the moments where you feel safe and you feel content are the spaces and places you will feel like enough. It's not complicated. I want it to be complicated because then I could sell you something really complicated, but it's not. It's pretty simple. So your homework this week, right this down, right this down. This is all about being human and what we learn as we go on through our days. I'm practicing breathing more as I speak. So please excuse the deep breaths. Your homework for this week, if you want it, is just think about times in your past this week, last year, the last 30 years, the last 20 years, where you felt like enough, where you felt safe and peaceful, where you arrived in a moment. Think about those. How did you feel? Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing? OK, that's step one, step two to feel like what you need to to feel like enough. If you felt that. And then you were pulled out of it. This happens, you're pulled out of that enoughness. What pulled you out of that? Because I get I know the I know the reasons for myself. What pulls me out of that is pulling me out of the moment. Like, oh, I'm not thinking of the consequences here. Right. Oh, I got to think about something else. Oh, I got to plan the future. Oh, am I standing straight? Oh, what are they thinking about me? Oh, the the the rumination comes in. So if you have the capacity or the memory to think about step two, what pulled you out of that? I would love for you to try that. I think it would really give you some insight into, oh, my gosh, this is where I feel safe. This is where I feel loved. And that'll help you look for love in all the white places and feel like enough. Thanks, Ludacris. Thank you, everyone, for watching. The link to Patreon is always in the description. We meet once a month. We meditate together. We share things this week. I'm sharing a New Year's 2023 reflection and 2024 worksheets that ask you such cool questions that align us for the new year and just, you know, we shoot the shit and we're all human in this. And I want to tell you something that I feel is important. And I reiterate this in a few I will in a few podcast episodes and YouTube videos. But I love to teach. I see myself as an educator using what I read, what I experience the day to day and to give you a new perspective and things that I learn. I love that. And I swear to you, you're on my mind all the time because I'm like, oh, this happened today. I wonder if that can be a thing like comedians do this, right? Oh, that happened to me. I wonder if that's a thing. I wonder if that can be a joke. I wonder if that can be a bit. And I think about, I wonder if that can be like taught. I wonder if that can help someone around the world feel good about themselves. And maybe they're in a bind and this will kind of release them from a bit of tension. I love doing that. And I do it for you and I do it for me. I'm an educator. It doesn't mean I'm perfect. As a teacher, right, father, please take this cup from me. I suffer the same. Man, do I suffer the same. And I love how we're in this life thing together. I really do. This is the Being Human podcast, not the Being Perfect channel. This is the Being You channel. And I would love it if you wrote a comment, maybe you wrote a review or put a star on the the Spotify or iTunes. And again, I'd love to meet all of you. Hopefully we do some meetups and stay tuned one video a week this year, maybe more. So watch out. They're coming and I'm looking forward to engaging with all of you. Take care. Have a great week. Enjoy your homework and have some fun reflecting. And I'll see you next Monday. Bye. Oh, check out this. Does it sound like a motorcycle? No, wait, it's all right. All right, see you.