 Why narcissists disappear? Hint it's not just new supply. Sometimes the narcissist will disappear or they will say that they need space and when they do that sometimes they're just putting you on the shelf because they don't have a purpose for you right now they found someone else and they don't want you to know about it or they just don't want to give you any closure they want to leave you hanging on in case they need you again in the future if the narcissist has found new supply you need to accept it you need to move on no matter how painful it may be you may have invested everything you had into the relationship so it's very hard for you to walk away but it's easy for the narcissist to leave you because they didn't invest anything into you so they're not losing anything they might toy with you but if you're not taking the bait they will get bored of you they will focus all of their attention on their new supply and you should just let them go don't try to fix it don't try to get them back they've made their bed and they must lie in it they must accept the unpleasant situation that they have caused but new supply is not the only reason why the narcissist will disappear sometimes they will disappear to test the relationship to test how important the relationship is to you maybe everything was fine before they disappeared and then they told you they need space or they need time to do other things but it's not because they found new supply that's not always the case they may just want to see how you're going to react to it they may want to see if you're willing to fight even though you may not have done anything wrong they will do it just to test you which may seem like a senseless decision but narcissists lack emotional intelligence they have an inability to handle interpersonal relationships they don't feel comfortable in functional environments they always have to cause trouble they always have to cause drama and chaos even though you may be doing everything they want because it's nothing to do with you they're just feeling insecure about the relationship so they will disappear or they will say that they need space even though they don't want to be with anyone else they're perfectly happy with you but they're feeling insecure when this happens you need to let them go let them walk out the door and don't try to stop them don't try to fix anything because if they were just testing the relationship they will retrace their steps they will come running back to you if they disappear and you don't try to get them back or if they tell you they need space and you don't react they will hover you they will come back but if they do have a new supply they will walk out the door and they won't come back anytime soon but if they're just testing the relationship they will be back within the next few days narcissists do stuff like this all the time because they lack emotional intelligence they do stupid things without thinking about the consequences of their actions but when the narcissist disappears or they say they need space you should assume that they found someone else because that is the deciding factor for your self-respect you should assume the worst if they're already intimately involved with someone else nothing you say or do is going to change their mind so you have to let them go you have to let them walk out the door because there's nothing else you can do every supply has an expiry date your supply has lost its potency so now your attention no longer does anything for them they need to get attention from somewhere else because that's the only way that they can sustain the illusions of their false self so nothing you do is going to change their mind you have to let them go if they are just testing the relationship they will back down right away but the only way for you to know is to let them go if you try to talk to them or if you try to convince them to stay it's not going to work you're just going to be wasting your time and energy you're going to be surrendering your dignity and you're going to be giving your power away because you're going to be taking on a passive and subservient role by showing an excessive willingness to serve and please them but even if the narcissist doesn't return you're just going to have to accept that they found someone else they found someone who they think is better than you and you shouldn't want them in your life anymore if you try to convince them to stay you will be surrendering your dignity you will be giving your power away and then they will have you wrapped around their thumb they will have you under their control you will become their puppet which is why you must maintain your dignity above everything else you can lose everything you have in your life and you're still going to be okay but dignity is the one thing you cannot afford to lose if you surrender it to the narcissist it will lead to way at you for the rest of your life and you will always regret it you might lose your money or possessions and it might affect you in the moment but it won't affect you long too losing your dignity will if you surrender your dignity in order to get what you want more often than not you will not get what you wanted so if the narcissist wants to walk out the door let them go maintain your dignity above everything else if the narcissist needs space let them have it don't try to talk them out of it don't try to convince them to stay just let them go because you were never really with them anyway it was just your turn you were just there until something better came along or at least their idea of something better and even if you're married or have children it doesn't make any difference there's still that one person and it can end at any moment if they really want to be with you they will crawl on their hands and knees over broken glass to be with you if they don't want to be with you there is nothing you can do about it so don't even try you will only regret it in the end thank you for watching I hope this video wears in it with you please like comment share and subscribe if you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description coaching queries you can email me at coaching.com if I ever the UK thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon