 defense in the game, but the absolute worst offense in the game. Let's find out. I've got a 67 overall offense and a 92 overall defense. My quarterback is Brock Purdy. My hat back is Kanta Ingram. Zandy Horvath is my full back. I got Bo Melton, Michael Woods, and Kalil Shakira as wide receivers. Fayer Munford, Doug Kramer, Luke Wattenberg, Lesioness Smith, Andrew Stuber, Co-Keeft, Andrew Ogletree. Obviously no abilities and no X-Factors, but I'll hope it's not lost. The offense is absolutely disgusting. We've got 94 Steve Atwater, 93 Lawrence Taylor, 93 Isaiah Simmons, Ray Lewis, Micah Parsons, Bam Bam Cam, Perique Wollin, Tootal Jones, William Perry, Merlin Olson, Miles Garrett, Pat Sartan, and Knight Train Lane. Knight Train Lane's got Crusher, Atwater's got Crusher, Cam's got Crusher and Goldline Stuff, Isaiah Simmons has got Crusher and Lurker, Perique Wollins got Tipdrill Deep Outzone KO, Lawrence Taylor's got Pick Artist and Edge Threat, William Perry's got Inside Stuff. The only way I win this game is through my kicker and defensive touchdowns. There is a 0.0% chance I will be able to move the ball on offense. Even if I face the most casual of casuals, it's not gonna happen. If you're one of the millions of men who would like to last longer in bed, Roman is here to help. Yeah, I got your attention now, didn't I? That's what I thought. I'm being serious to this right here is a Roman swipe, and they are the sponsors of today's video. And I'll read it straight off the label, Roman Swipes for Longer Lasting Sex. Now the goal is that you can last longer in bed so you and your partner can both be fully satisfied. Now a Roman swipe is this little disposable guy right here. When you take it out of the package, you apply it to the most sensitive areas, let it dry, and that's it. I could think of more than a few times where this would have come in very handy. But I'm grateful I have Roman now. They offer free, discreet, two-day shipping. There's no prescription needed. And Roman Swipes are awesome because I don't think anyone has ever said he lasted too long. Although that'd be nice to hear. Be Roman ready when the time is right. Go to ro.co forward slash mmg for 20% off. That's ro.co forward slash mmg for 20% off. You can always click the link in the top of the description. Roman, thank you for continuing to sponsor my videos, guys. Enjoy the rest. Night train at water camp. Primetime Patterson, okay. Shit. It's really hoping to see like a bunch of 90s or something. If we get scored on on defense, just like at all, this is gonna get hard. Oh, I needed a crusher hit right there. Whoa, Plexico, chill out. Now, there's a reason I'm running crusher on four different players. Crusher, when you hit people, is heavy ball carrier fatigue. So, hopefully over time, these guys will get really fatigued and they'll start fumbling. And that's how we win the ball game. Ooh, play action. Ooh, we needed that right there, boys. We needed that one. It is. Good defense. That's home to a field goal. We're in there. We're in there, sort of. Ooh, no first. Third and one. Does he go right back to the hat-back power-o? I'm gonna come down with that water. He's gonna run it. Oh, it's a play action. We need a big hit here. Oh, he knew. Genius, genius. He knew. Actual, ooh, nice play. He's gonna sit down again, right? Oh my God. He could have fumbled. That could have been the break we needed right there. Second and nine. No worries though. No worries. Hat-back. Ooh. All right, I'm gonna drop a few into coverage. Cover the middle. Yup. Hey, fourth and 11. I kicked a field goal. Great defense. Hey, that's good. That's honestly really good. All right, now this is where it's gonna get sticky. I wish I could pray for a kick return touchdown, but since my offense sucks, I think that also means all my blockers suck. Who's 27 though? That wasn't horrible. I almost just need to do damage control and offense. I'm not gonna be able to score. You just get over it, guys. I'm not gonna be able to score. Like what would I normally do here? Probably a whip route out of woods because this is man. Oh, it's not. Good check down. Wait a minute. That's six yards. That's five, six yards. Don't tell me I could actually score. Ow. Like I want to hit co-keep tier, but I just don't think he can actually break on this route hard enough to get this. Okay. If it was there, I wouldn't fucking know. Cause I threw it in the actual turf. All right, whatever. But our defense has got to get an interception and get us in field goal range. I think he runs the ball. Okay, play action. I.N.T. Heater! Big time, Micah. Hell of a play. There she is. Big hit. Ah! Let's go at water. Couple more of those. We got another fumble coming up. I'm guessing pass. Maverick! Maverick! Let's go. You gotta get in range. Dude, shit. I tried to pitch it. Cause we have to get in field goal range. Great defense. But we have to get in field goal range. I can't move the ball. I'm tempted to just punt literally right now and just try and get them on the one. Oh, maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit. Maybe it's literally possible for me to get yards. Not against cover one hole though. Like look at this. Look at this man coverage, dude. There's so little I feel like I can do here. Like I get, I get that cantangrum sucks and so does Brock Purdy. But could I actually run this effectively? No, no, no, no. Oh, it almost, it almost worked. It really did. Yup. Holy shit. Holy shit! Field goal range. Do I really try and score? I feel like it's greedy. I feel like I should just take my field goal right now. Is he really gonna let me do that again? He's gonna let me do it again. It was open. It's actually open! It's fucking working. There's no way. There's no fucking way I'm gonna do this. Don't you dare let me. This is literally, I'm just running stock flood and then I'm blocking coquete. Go Khalil. Oh shit. It's not like I can give, it's not like I can give Brock Purdy fearless you guys. Okay. I'd be okay with the field goal here though. I would be more than okay with the field goal here. Shit. I tried to throw that to X. I don't know if I would have picked it up. We're gonna take our field goal. I don't wanna use that much clock here. Let's just drill this. Easy, easy. All right, all right, all right, all right. I just gotta turn him over again. There's 54 seconds and three timeouts for me to turn him over again. I don't hate those odds. Oh, slip screen. That was such a bad ball. I literally could have picked that. I don't know what his pass would look like out of it. Half back, half back, half back, half back. I swear to God, he threw that at the half back. Is he gonna run the ball? What are you gonna do here? Why does this look like a run play? Big hit. We take that, we take that, we take that. Timeout, fourth and five. Punch it to me. Oh, don't. And I'll take the lead when you don't get this. Right here, right now is where we win the game. A pitch. We're there! All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. I'm looking for Kayonte Ingram. Kayonte Ingram. Oh! Brock Purdy, starving for yards here, buddy. If you got a wide open guy, you gotta hit him. We're starving. I don't know if he's gonna be that open again. Oh my God, Brock. Redemption, redemption tour! Brock Purdy redemption tour. A touchdown would be so massive. A touchdown would change everything. Dude, tell me why I can run the ball so effectively. Fuck, I'm gonna do it. I got timeouts, I'm gonna do it. Go, shit, shit. Okay, Kayonte. Kayonte, I don't know how you say your name, but... So even that, I should not have thrown. That's okay. We get a field goal with no time left. Six to three. Thank God I have a good kicker. Drilled it. Red down the shmoney. Ooh, that was not. That almost kinda missed. Six to three. If he gets in the end zone, I lose. That's the thing, bro. I can play perfect defense for so long. What if he gets in the end zone, I lose. I'm gonna do something unorthodox here. I'm gonna come out and punt because he'll be in a real defense. And this should be like a God tier punt. That's the hope anyway. Beauty, this is exactly what I wanted. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I wanted him like on the 10 or 20, but I guess I'll take it. I don't think I was gonna move that ball. And if I punt to him when he's in a punt formation, usually he'd get a lot more yards. That was a little unlucky, but it's okay. We're not letting him get to the end zone. So it doesn't matter. Throw right here, throw right here. I know you want to. I know you want to! All the way, Sir Tan. We gotta go all the way. Fuck! Micah, you throw a little bit better block there and that changes everything. I'm gonna do one play, then I'm gonna punt. I'm gonna punt dot this, man. Do the inside shade on Khalil Shakir. Oh my God, Bo Melton just broke a tackle. Six for 14 is not bad at all. Dude, so they're playing underneath on Khalil Shakir and it's screwing me over so bad because I can't make the pass now. Look, like watch, watch Khalil Shakir. It's a really good adjustment. See, look, he bites under it. I can't throw that. I will get 100% I'll get intercepted if I throw that. Can Justin Tucker hit this? I'm gonna hand this ball off. Oh my God. Ssss. Go! Kayanta Ingram! Broke a tackle! That's a field goal. I'm taking the field goal right now. Dude, the longer I play defense, the more I win. I take the field goal right now. I could have swore I have Zen kicker on him where 45 yards and up I get a slow meter. It's that thing where kickers lose their abilities after the first half. Yeah, that's stupid as shit. Nine to three, one more field goal and it's a two possession lead. So even if he scores, I kind of have a small amount of leeway. Ooh, don't run the ball. I'm in trouble if you do. Oh, you're full of shit. He's gonna run it. I'm gonna light him the fuck up with cam chancellor. Big hits, big hits. Good shit to reequilin. No. Okay, goal line stand opportunity. Damn! Do I call the timeout? I don't think I need it. I don't think I need it. Ah, I do need it now. I'm the one I need it. Stopped him once. Stopped him once. It kind of looked like he got that. That was super weird. Does he throw half back? A lot of people throw half back here. Oh, he threw a mallard. It's fourth and goal on the one. This is so big. Single back wing flex close. I don't think he's running the ball. Clog the middle. I'm on night train. Oh no, I don't know how I feel about this. Oh, good play. Shit. I collided with him, but he still made the catch. I didn't really expect to stop it there. That was a great play. I almost got to go with the punt strat again. I cannot move into field goal range with my team. I wish I could, boys. I'm punting right now. This is my best odds. Punt and then a turnover. We turn them over down there somewhere. I'm gonna go to the corner with this. Ooh, that's a really good punt. Holy fuck. That's what I wanted to do the first time. Down to the 17. We flipped the field. Now we just got clamped. I expect him to kind of chew clock. Good thing I got the two minute warning, three time outs. I expect him to run the ball a lot. I think this is an inside zone. It's going nowhere. Nice defense. Yep, yep, yep. Let's go. Punt strat undefeated. You want me to go for two coach? You want Brock Purdy to go for two coach? I'm taking my points. I'm sorry. I guess I could go a fake field goal. That's about my only odds there. Let's go. Huge, big mistake. Defense wins championships, baby. And listen, if he scores with no time left though, like if he were to milk this clock on me and score with no time left, he would win the game. I can't get back there on offense. That's the thing. He cannot score a touchdown. If he scores a touchdown, I lose. No, half back, half back, half back, half back, half back. Third and two, he was looking middle, unable to connect. Nice ball. No, no, no, no. Shit, this is not good. He is too far downfield right now. I gotta sack him. Hot one. Oh, fuck. Good hit, good hit, good hit. He has to score. He cannot kick a field goal. Oh, okay. Respectable ball, great hit. Keep hitting like that. We hit like that every time, boys. Oh, run it, run it, run it. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, wait, what man? Fourth and inches. Fourth and inches. We win the game right here. Fuck. Oh, I saw it. I saw it too late. Nice play, great play, Mick Sirloin. That's where we need to fumble right there, man. That's where we need it. We can do it. I gotta get as much clock out here and then punt. Just, I just literally run the ball a couple of times and then I punt. Get his time out, spirit. Sang out to the ball. Ooh. I smell positive yardage. Kayate, Ingram. Great work. I'm just gonna send Ingram underneath. Oh, snap it, snap it, snap it, snap it, snap it. Yes. No way I'm gonna get a first down. Third and four. He calls his first time out. Like we're battling Jason Pierpaugh, Aiden Hutchinson, Bobby Wagner, Strayhan, with like Bozo, Mick fucking Bozo. If I get this, I win. Get sacked, just take the sack. Take the sack, don't fumble. Great work, great work. That was sketchy. That was very sketchy. Here's the problem. Now he's actually gonna be in a punt return formation. I can't really envision another way for me to have ran that, so I'm happy with how I did it. Oh, we got some big bodies over here. Got wool in. Ooh, great work. One time out, 38 seconds. Just gotta hold. He knows what he wants. Lawrence Taylor came in hot. He throws to the middle, that's fine. You gotta use your last time out. Yup. He's gotta go no huddle. Shit, shit, I'm out of position. Maybe one of his players was gonna come over. Fourth and six. This might be the last play. Cover four, drop back. Let's get Lawrence Taylor in position to scream, guess pass. Get up. Oh, it's rolling. Holy shit, he quit. Ice in the veins. I like that so much better than the offensive one. That was literally a million times better than the offensive one. Oh my God, that was so sick. So we had one Michael Parsons, big six, and three Justin Tucker field goals. Oh my God, lock box defense, bro. All right, boys, that was so awesome. I hope you guys enjoyed. That was an absolute blast. And I'll see you in the next one. Peace.