 Chapter 1 of the Memoirs of Jacques Casanova, Volume 2. This is the LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Memoirs of Jacques Casanova, Volume 2. Paris and Prison, by Jacques Casanova. Translated by Arthur Matchen. Episode 6, Chapter 1. Leave Bologna a happy man. The captain parts from us in Regio, where I spend a delightful night with Henriette, our arrival in Parma. Henriette resumes the costume of a woman, our mutual felicity. I meet some relatives of mine, but do not discover myself. The reader can easily guess that there was a change as sudden as a transformation and empanthamine, and that the short but magic sentence, come to Parma, proved a very fortunate catastrophe, thanks to which I rapidly changed, passing from the tragic to the gentle mood, from the serious to the tender tone. Soothe to say I fell at her feet, and lovingly pressing her knees, I kissed them repeatedly with raptures of gratitude. No more fiori, no more bitter words, they do not suit the sweetest of all human feelings. Loving, docile, grateful, I swear never to beg for any favor, not even to kiss her hand, until I have shown myself worthy of her precious love. The heavenly creature, delighted to see me pass so rapidly from despair to the most lively tenderness, tells me with a voice, the tone of which breathes of love, to get up from my knees. I am sure that you love me, says she, and be quite certain that I shall leave nothing undone to secure the constancy of your feelings. Even if she had said that she loved me as much as I adored her, she would not have been more eloquent for her words expressed all that could be felt. My lips were pressed to her beautiful hands as the captain entered the room. He complimented us with perfect good faith, and I told him, my face beaming with happiness, that I was going to order the carriage. I left them together, and in a short time we were on the road, cheerful, pleased and merry. Before reaching Regio the honest captain told me that in his opinion it would be better for him to proceed to Parma alone, as if we ended in that city altogether it might cause some remarks, and people would talk about as much less if we were without him. We both thought him quite right, and we immediately made up our minds to pass the night in Regio while the captain would take a post-chase and go alone to Parma. According to that arrangement his trunk was transferred to the vehicle which he hired in Regio. He bade us farewell and went away after having promised to dine with us on the following day in Parma. The decision taken by the worthy Hungarian was, doubtless, as agreeable to my lovely friend as to me, for our delicacy would have condemned us to a great reserve in his presence. And truly, under the new circumstances, how were we to arrange for our lodgings in Regio? Henriette could not, of course, share the bed of the captain any more, and she could not have slept with me as long as he was with us, without being guilty of great immodesty. We should all three have laughed at that compulsory reserve, which we would have felt to be ridiculous, but we should, for all that, have submitted to it. Love is the little impudent God, the enemy of bashfulness, and although he may very often enjoy darkness and mystery, but if he gives way to it he feels disgraced. He loses three-fourths of his dignity in the greatest portion of his charms. Evidently there could be no happiness for Henriette or for me, unless we parted with the person and even with the remembrance of the excellent captain. We subbed alone. I was intoxicated with a felicity which seemed too immense, and yet I felt melancholy. But Henriette, who looked sad likewise, had no reproach to address to me. Our sadness was in reality nothing but shyness. We loved each other, but we had no time to become acquainted. We exchanged only a few words. There was nothing witty, nothing interesting in our conversation, which struck us both as insipid, and we found more pleasure in the thoughts which filled our minds. We knew that we were going to pass the night together, but we could not have spoken of it openly. What a night! What a delightful creature was that Henriette whom I have loved so deeply, who has made me so supremely happy. It was only three or four days later that I ventured on asking her what she would have done without a groat in her possession, having not won acquaintance in Parma if I had been afraid to declare my love and if I had gone to Naples. She answered that she would doubtless have found herself in very great difficulties, but that she had all along felt certain of my love, and that she had foreseen what had happened. She added that, being impatient to know what I thought of her, she had asked me to translate to the captain what she had expressed, respecting her resolution, knowing that he could neither oppose that resolution, nor continue to live with her, and that, as she had taken care not to include me in the prayer which she addressed to him through me, she had thought it impossible that I should fail to ask whether I could be of some service to her, waiting to take a decision until she could have asserted the nature of my feelings towards her. She concluded by telling me that if she had fallen it was the fault of her husband and of her father-in-law, both of whom she characterized as monsters rather than men. When we reached Parma, I gave the police the name of Ferruci, the same that I had assumed in Cessna. It was the family name of my mother, while Henrietta wrote down, On d'Archi de France. While we were answering the questions of the officer, a young Frenchman, smart and intelligent looking, offered me his services, advising me not to put up with the posting in, but to take lodgings at D'Andre Moït Hotel, where I should find good apartments, French cooking, and the best French wines. Seeing that Henrietta was pleased with the proposal, I told the young man to take us there, and we were soon very comfortably lodged. I engaged the Frenchman by the day and carefully settled on my arrangements with D'Andre Moït. After that I attended to the housing of my carriage. Coming in again for a few moments, I told Henrietta that I would return in time for dinner, and ordering the servant to remain in the enter room, I went out alone. Parma was then groaning under a new government. I had every reason to suppose that there were spies everywhere, and under every form. I therefore did not want to have at my heels a valet who might have injured rather than served me. Though I was in my father's native city, I had no acquaintances there, but I knew that I should soon find my way. When I found myself in the streets, I could scarcely believe that I was in Italy, for everything had a Traumantine appearance. I heard nothing but French and Spanish, and those who did not speak one of the other's languages seemed to be whispering to one another. I was going about at random, looking for a hosier, yet unwilling to inquire where I could find one, and last I saw what I wanted. I entered the shop, and addressing myself to a stout, good-looking woman, seated behind the counter, I said, Madam, I wish to make some purchases. Sir, shall I send for someone speaking French? You need not do so. I am an Italian. God, be praised. Italians are scarce in these days. Why scarce? Do you not know that Don Phillip has arrived, and that his wife, Madame de France, is on the road? I congratulate you, for it must make trade very good. I suppose that money is plentiful, and that there is abundance for all commodities. That is true, but everything is high in price, and we cannot get reconciled to these new fashions. There is a bad mixture of French freedom and Spanish haughtiness which addles our brains. But, sir, what sort of linen do you require? In the first place, I must tell you that I never tried to drive a hard bargain. Therefore, be careful. If you charge me too much, I shall not come again. I want some fine linen for twenty-four chemises, some dimity for stays and petticoats, some muslin, some combrick for pocket handkerchiefs, and many other articles which I should be very glad to find in your shop, for I am a stranger here, and God knows in what hands I am going to entrust myself. You will be an honest one, if you will give me your confidence. I am sure that you deserve it, and I abandon my interests to you. I want likewise to find some needle-women, willing to work in the ladies' room, because she requires everything to be made very rapidly. And dresses? Yes. Dresses, caps, mantles, in fact everything, for she is naked. With money she shall soon have all she wants. Is she young? She is four years younger than I. She is my wife. Ah, may God bless you. Any children? Not yet, my good lady, but they will come, for we do all that is necessary to have them. I have no doubt of it. How pleased I am. Well, sir, I shall send for the very phoenix of all dressmakers. In the meantime, choose what you require. It will amuse you. I took the best of everything, and paid, and the dressmaker, making her appearance at that moment, I gave my address, requesting that various sorts of stuff might be sent at once. I told the dressmaker and her daughter, who had come with her, to follow me and to carry the linen. On my way to the hotel, I brought several pairs of silk stockings, and took with me a bootmaker who lived close by. Oh, what a delightful moment! Henriette, who had not the slightest idea of what I had gone out for, looked at everything with great pleasure, yet without any of those demonstrations which announced a selfish or interested disposition. She showed her gratitude only by the delicate praise which she bestowed upon my taste, and upon the quality of the articles I had purchased. She was not more cheerful on the account of my presence, but the tender affection with which she looked at me was the best proof of her grateful feelings. The valet I had hired had entered the room with the shoemaker. Henriette told him quietly to withdraw, and not to come unless he was called. The dressmaker set to work. The shoemaker took her measure, and I told him to bring her some slippers. He returned in a short time, and the valet came in again with him without having been called. The shoemaker, who spoke French, was talking the usual nonsense of dealers, when she interrupted him to ask the valet, who was standing familiarly in the room what he wanted. Nothing, madam, I am only awaiting for your orders. Have I not told you that you would be called when your services were required? I should like to know who is my master, you or the gentleman. Neither, I replied, laughing, here are your day's wages. Be off at once. The shoemaker, seeing that Henriette spoke only French, begged to recommend a teacher of languages. What country does he belong to, she inquired. To Flanders, madam, answered Crispin. He is a very learned man, about fifty years old. He is said to be a good man. He charges three libra for each lesson of one hour and six for two hours, but he requires to be paid each time. My dear, said Henriette to me, do you wish me to engage that master? Yes, dearest, it will amuse you. The shoemaker promised to send the Flemish professor the next morning. The dressmakers were hard at work, the mother cutting, the daughter sewing. But his progress could not be too rapid. I told the mother that she would oblige us if she could procure another seamstress who spoke French. You shall have one this very day, sir, she answered, and she offered me the services of her own son as a servant, saying that if I took him I should be certain to have neither a thief nor a spy about me, and that he spoke French pretty well. Henriette thought we could not do better than to take the young man. Of course, this was enough to make me consent at once, for the slightest wish of the women we love is our supreme law. The mother went for him, and she brought back at the same time the half-French dressmaker. It all amused my goddess, who looked very happy. The young man was about eighteen, pleasant, gentle, and modest. I inquired his name. He answered that it was Caldagna. The reader may very likely recollect that my father's native place had been Parma, and that one of his sisters had married a Caldagna. It would be a curious coincidence, I thought, if that dressmaker should be my aunt, and my valet, my cousin. But I did not say it aloud. Henriette asked me if I had any objection to the first dressmaker dining at our table. I entreat you, my darling, I answered, never for the future to ask my consent in such trifling matters. Be quite certain, my beloved, that I shall always approve everything you may do. She smiled and thanked me. I took out my purse and said to her, Take these fifty sequins, dearest, to pay for your small expenses, and to buy the many trifles which I should be sure to forget. She took the money, assuring me that she was vastly obliged to me. A short time before dinner the worthy captain made his appearance. Henriette ran to meet him and kissed him, calling him her dear father, and I followed her example by calling him my friend. My beloved little wife invited him to dine with us every day. The excellent fellow, seeing all the women, busily working for Henriette, was highly surprised at having procured such a good position for his young adventurous, and I crowned his happiness by telling him that I was indebted to him for my felicity. Our dinner was delicious and approved a cheerful meal. I found out that Henriette was dainty, and my old friend a lover of good wines. I was both, and I felt that I was a match for them. We tasted several excellent wines which D'Andremont had recommended, and altogether we had a very good dinner. The young valet pleased me in consequence of the respectful manner in which he served everyone, his mother as well as his masters, his sister and the other seamstress, had dined apart. We were enjoying our dessert when the hosier was announced, accompanied by another woman and a milliner who could speak French. The other woman had brought patterns of all sorts of dresses. I let Henriette order caps, headdresses, etc., as she pleased, but I would interfere in the dress department, although I complied with the excellent taste of my charming friend. I made her choose four dresses, and I was indeed grateful for her ready acceptance of them, for my own happiness was increased in proportion to the pleasure I gave her and the influence I was obtaining over her heart. Thus did we spend the first day, and we certainly could not have accomplished more. In the evening, as we were alone at supper, I fancied that her lovely face looked sad. I told her so. My darling, she answered with a voice that went to my heart, you are spending a great deal of money on me, and if you do so in the hope of my loving you more dearly, I must tell you it is money lost, for I do not love you now more than I did yesterday, but I do love you with my whole heart. All you may do that is not strictly necessary pleases me, only because I see more and more how worthy you are of me, but it is not needed to make me feel all the deep love which you deserve. I believe you, dearest, and my happiness is indeed great if you feel that your love for me cannot be increased, but learn also the light of my heart, that I have done it all only to try to love you even more than I do, if possible. I wish to see you beautiful and brilliant in the attire of your sex, and if there is one drop of bitterness in the fragrant cup of my felicity, it is a regret in not being able to surround you with the halo which you deserve. Can I be otherwise than delighted my love, if you are pleased? You cannot for one moment doubt my being pleased, and as you have called me your wife, you are right in one way, but if you are not very rich I leave it to you to judge how deeply I ought to reproach myself. Ah, my beloved angel, let me, I beg of you, believe myself wealthy, and be quite certain that you cannot possibly be the cause of my ruin. You are born only for my happiness. All I wish is that you may never leave me. Tell me whether I can entertain such a hope. I wish it myself, dearest, but who can be sure of the future? Are you free? Are you dependent on anyone? I am free in the broadest meaning of that word. I am dependent on no one but you, and I'd love to be so. I congratulate you, and I am very glad of it, for no one can tear me from your arms. But alas, you know that I cannot say the same as you. I am certain that some persons are even now seeking for me, and they will not find it difficult to secure me if they ever discover where I am. Alas, I feel how miserable I should be if they ever succeeded in dragging me away from you. You make me tremble. Are you afraid of such dreadful misfortune here? No, unless I should happen to be seen by someone knowing me. Are any such persons likely to be here at present? I think not. Then do not let our love take alarm. I trust your fears will never be verified. Only, my darling one, you must be as cheerful as you were in Cessna. I shall be more truly so now, dear friend. In Cessna I was miserable, while now I am happy. Do not be afraid of my being sad, for I am of a naturally cheerful disposition. I suppose that in Cessna you were afraid of being caught by the officer whom you had left in Rome. Not at all. That officer was my father-in-law, and I am quite certain that he never tried to ascertain where I had gone. He was only too glad to get rid of me. I felt unhappy because I could not bear to be a charge on a man whom I could not love, and with whom I could not even exchange one thought. Recollect also that I could not find consolation in the idea that I was ministering to his happiness, for I had only aspired him with a passing fancy which he had himself valued at ten sequence. I could not help feeling that his fancy, once gratified, was not likely at his time of life to become a more lasting sentiment, and I could therefore only be a burden to him, for he was not wealthy. Besides there was a miserable consideration which increased my secret sorrow. I thought myself bound in duty to caress him, and on his side, as he thought that he ought to pay me in the same money. I was afraid of his ruining his health for me, and that idea made me very unhappy. Having no love for each other, we allowed a foolish feeling of regard to make both of us uncomfortable. We lavished for the sake of a well-meaning but false decorum, that which belongs to love alone. Another thing troubled me greatly. I was afraid lest people might suppose that I was a source of profit to him. That idea made me feel the deepest shame. Yet, whenever I thought of it, I could not help admitting that such a supposition, however false, could not be wanting in probability. It is owing to that feeling that you found me so reserved towards you, for I was afraid that you might harbor that fearful idea, if I allowed you, to read in my looks the favorable impression which you had made in my heart. Then it was not owing to a feeling of self-love? No, I confess it, for you could but judge me as I deserved. I had been guilty of the folly, now known to you because my father-in-law intended to bury me in a convent, and that did not suit my taste. But, dearest friend, you must forgive me if I cannot confide even to you the history of my life. I respect your secret, darling. You need not fear any intrusion from me on that subject. All we have now to do is to love one another and not allow any dread of the future to mar our actual felicity. The next day, after a night of intense enjoyment, I found myself more deeply in love than before, and the next three months were spent by us in an intoxication of delight. At nine o'clock the next morning the teacher of Italian was announced. I saw a man of respectable appearance, polite, modest, speaking very little but very well, reserved in his answers and with the manners of olden times. We conversed, and I cannot help laughing when he said, with an error of perfect good faith, that a Christian could only admit the system of Copernicus as a clever hypothesis. I answered that it was the system of God himself because it was that of nature, and that it was not in holy Scripture that the laws of science could be learned. The teacher smiled in a manner which betrayed the tartouf, and if I had consulted only my own feelings I should have dismissed the poor man. But I thought that he might amuse Henriette and teach her Italian. After all, it was what I wanted from him. My dear wife told him that she would give him six librae for a lesson of two hours, the libra of Parma being worth only about three pence. His lessons were not very expensive. She took her first lesson immediately and gave him two sequins, asking him to purchase her some good novels. Whilst my dear Henriette was taking her lesson, I had some conversation with the dressmaker in order to ascertain whether she was a relative of mine. What does your husband do? I asked her. He is the steward to the marquis of Cisa. Is your father still alive? No, sir, he is dead. What was his family's name? Sculty. Are your husband's parents still alive? His father is dead, but his mother is still alive and resides with her uncle, Canon Casanova. That was enough. The good woman was my Welsh cousin and her children were my Welsh nephews. My niece, Genetan, was not pretty, but she appeared to be a good girl. I continued my conversation with the mother, but I changed the topic. Are the Parmesians satisfied with being the subjects of a Spanish prince? Satisfied? Well, in that case, we should be easily pleased for now we are in a regular maze. Everything is upset. We do not know where we are. Oh, happy times of the House of Vanessa! Whither have you departed? The day before yesterday I went to the theatre and Harlequin made everybody roar with laughter. Well, now, fancy, Don Filippo, our new Duke, did all he could to remain serious and when he could not manage it he would hide his face in his hat so that people should not see that he was laughing and he said that laughter ought never to disturb the grave and stiff countenance of an infante of Spain and that he would be dishonored in Madrid if he did not conceal his mirth. What do you think of that? Can such manners suit us? Here we laugh willingly and heartily. Oh, the good Duke Antonio, God rest his soul, was certainly as great as a prince as Duke Filippo, but he did not hide himself from his subjects when he was pleased and heartily that he could be heard in the streets. Now we are all in the most fearful confusion. For the last three months no one in Parma knows what's o'clock. Have all the clocks been destroyed? No, but ever since God created the world the sun has always gone down at half past five and at six the bells have always told for the Angelus. All respectable people knew that at that time the candle had to be lit. Now it is very strange the sun has gone mad for he sets every day at a different hour. Our peasants do not know when they are to come to market. All that is called a regulation, but do you know why? Because now everybody knows that dinner is to be eaten at twelve o'clock. A fine regulation indeed. Under the finesse we used to eat when we were hungry and that was much better. That way of reasoning was certainly singular, but I did not think it sounded foolish in the mouth of a woman of humble rank. It seems to me that a government ought never to destroy ancient customs abruptly and that innocent heirs ought to be corrected only by degrees. Henrietta had no watch. I felt delighted at the idea of offering her such a present and I went out to purchase one. But after I had bought a very fine watch I thought of earrings, of a fan and of many other pretty knickknacks. Of course I bought them all at once. She received all those gifts offered by love with a tender delicacy which overjoyed me. She was still with the teacher when I came back. I should have been able, he said to me, to teach her lady, heraldy, geography, history, and the use of the globes. But she knows that already. She has received an excellent education. The teacher's name was Valentin de la Haye. He told me that he was an engineer and professor of mathematics. I shall have to speak of him very often in these memoirs. And my reader will make his acquaintance by his deeds better than any portrait I could give of him. So I will merely say that he was a true tartouffe, a worthy pupil of Escobar. We had a pleasant dinner with our Hungarian friend. Henrietta was still wearing the uniform and I longed to see her dressed as a woman. She expected a dress to be ready for the next day to be supplied with petticoats and chemises. Henrietta was full of wit and a mistress of repartee. The milloner, who was a native of Lyon, came in one morning and said in French, Madame et Monsieur, j'ai l'honneur de vous sur la terre le bonjour. Why, said my friend, do you not say Monsieur et Madame? I have always heard that in society the precedence is given to the ladies. But from whom do we wish to receive that honour? From gentlemen, of course. And do you not see that women would render themselves ridiculous if they do not grant to men the same that which they expect from them? If we wish them never to fail and politeness towards us, we must show them the example. Madame, answered this shrewd milloner, you have taught me an excellent lesson and I will profit by it. Monsieur et Madame, Monsieur et Monsieur, this feminine controversy greatly amused me. Those who do not believe that a woman can make a man happy through the 24 hours of the day have never possessed a woman like Henrietta. The happiness which filled me, if I can express it in that manner, was much greater when I conversed with her even than when I held her in my arms. She had read much, she had great tact, her taste was naturally excellent, her judgment was sane and, without being learned, she could argue like a mathematician easily and without pretension and in everything she had that natural grace which is so charming. She never tried to be witty when she said something of importance but accompanied her words with a smile which imparted to them an appearance of trifling and brought them within the understanding of all. In that way she would give intelligence even to those who had gone and she won every heart. Beauty without wit offers love nothing but the material enjoyment of its physical charms whilst witty ugliness captivates by the charms of the mind and the last fulfills all the desires of the man it has captivated. Then what was my position during all the time I possessed my beautiful and witty Henrietta? That of a man so supremely happy that I could scarcely realize my felicity. Let anyone ask a beautiful woman without wit whether she would be willing to exchange a small portion of her beauty for a sufficient dose of wit. If she speaks the truth she will say No, I am satisfied to be as I am. But why is she satisfied? Because she is not aware of her own deficiency. Let an ugly but witty woman be asked if she would change her wit against beauty and she will not say no. Why? Because knowing the value of her wit she is well aware that it is sufficient by itself to make her a queen in any society. But a learned woman, a blue stocking, is not the creature to minister to a man's happiness. Positive knowledge is not a woman's province. It is ampediseptic to the gentleness of her nature, to the amenity, to the sweet timidity which are the greatest charms of the fair sex. Besides, women never carry their learning beyond certain limits and the tittle-tattle of blue stockings can dazzle no one but fools. There has never been one great discovery due to a woman. The fair sex is deficient in that vigorous power which the body lends to the mind. But women are evidently superior to men in simple reasoning, in delicacy of feelings, and in that species of merit which appertains to the heart hurl some idle sophism at a woman of intelligence. She will not unravel it, but she will not be deceived by it, and though she may not say so, she will let you guess that she does not accept it. A man, on the contrary, if he cannot unravel the sophism, takes it in a literal sense, and in that respect the learned woman is exactly the same as a man. What a burden a madame dossier must be to a man. What a honest man from such. When the new dress was brought, Henrietta told me that she did not want me to witness the process of her metamorphosis, and she desired me to go out for a walk until she had resumed her original form. I obeyed cheerfully for the slightest wish of the woman we love is a law, and our very obedience increases our happiness. As I had nothing in particular to do, I went to a French bookseller in whose shop I made the acquaintance of a witty hunchback, and I must say that a hunchback without wit is a raga avis. I have found it so in all countries. Of course it is not wit which gives the hump, for, thank God, all witty men are not hump-acked, but we may well say that as a general rule the hump gives wit, for the very small number of hunchbacks who have little or no wit only confirms the rule. The one I was alluding to just now was François Châtelerot. He was a very skillful engineer and director of the Mint of Parma for the Infante, although that prince could not boast of such an institution. I spent an hour with the witty hunchback who showed me several of his engravings, and I returned to the hotel where I found the Hungarian waiting to see Henrietta. He did not know that she would that morning receive us in the attire of her sex. And a beautiful, charming woman met us with a courtesy full of grace which no longer reminded us of the stiffness or of the too great freedom which belonged to the military costume. Her sudden appearance certainly astonished us and we did not know what to say or what to do. She invited us to be seated, looked at the captain in a friendly manner and pressed my hand with the warmest affection, but without giving way any more to that outward familiarity which a young officer can assume but which does not suit a well-educated lady. Her noble and modest bearing soon compelled me to put myself in unison with her and I did so without difficulty for she was not acting apart in the way in which she had resumed her natural character made it easy for me to follow her on that ground. I was gazing at her with admiration and urged by a feeling which I did not take time to analyze. She took her hand to kiss it with respect but without giving me an opportunity of raising it to my lips she offered me her lovely mouth. Never did a kiss taste so delicious. Am I not then always the same? She said to me with deep feeling No, heavenly creature it is so true that you are no longer the same in my eyes that I cannot now use any familiarity towards you. You are no longer the witty, free young officer who told Madame Corini about the game of pharaoh and about the deposits made to your bank by the captain in so niggeredly a manner that they were hardly worth mentioning. It is very true that wearing the costume of my sex I should never dare to utter such words. Yet, dearest friend it does not prevent my being your Henrietta that Henrietta who was in her life been guilty of three escapades the last of which would have utterly ruined me if it had not been for you but which I call a delightful error since it has been the cause of my knowing you. These words moved me so deeply that I was on the point of throwing myself at her feet to entreat her to forgive me for not having shown her more respect but Henrietta who saw the state that I was in and who wanted to put an end to the pathetic scene began to shake our poor captain that is motionless as a statue as if he had been petrified he felt a shame at having treated such a woman is an adventurous for he knew that what he now saw was not an illusion he kept looking at her with great confusion and bowing most respectfully as if he wanted to atone for his past conduct towards her as for Henrietta she seemed to say to him but without the shadow of her approach I am glad that you think me more than ten sequins we sat down to dinner and from that moment she did the honors of the table with the perfect ease of a person who was accustomed to fulfill that difficult duty she treated me like a beloved husband and the captain like a respected friend the poor Hungarian begged me to tell her that if he had seen her as she was now in Civiti Avetia when she had come out of the tartan he should never have dreamed of dispatching his kikaroni to her room oh tell him that I do not doubt it but is it not strange that a poor little female dress should command more respect than the garb of an officer pray do not abuse the officer's costume for it is to that that I am indebted for my happiness yes she said with a loving smile as I owe mine to the skibbry of Cessna we remained for a long time at the table and our delightful conversation turned upon no other topic than our mutual felicity if it had not been for the uneasiness of the poor captain which at last struck us we should never have put a stop either to the dinner or to our charming prattle and of chapter one chapter two of the memoirs of Jacques Casanova volume two this is a LibriVox recording the recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org the memoirs of Jacques Casanova volume two Paris and Prison by Jacques Casanova translated by Arthur Matchen episode six chapter two I engage a box at the opera in spite of Henriette's reluctance Monsieur de Bois pays us a visit and dines with us my darling plays him a trick Henriette argues on happiness we call on du Bois and my wife displays her marvelous talent Monsieur du Toulat the court gives a splendid entertainment in the Ducal Gardens a fatal meeting I have an interview with Monsieur d'Antoine the favorite of the Infante of Spain the happiness I was enjoying for the past long I was fated to lose it but I must not anticipate events Madame de France wife of the Infante Don Philipp having arrived in Parma the opera house was opened and I engaged a private box telling Henriette that I intended to take her to the theater every night she had several times confessed that she had a great passion for music and Italian opera and I felt certain that she wished to a certain whether the Italian music deserved its universal fame but I was indeed surprised when she exclaimed what dearest you wish to go every evening to the opera I think my love that if we do not go we should give some excuse for scandal mongers to gossip yet should you not like it you know that there was no need for us to go do not think of me I prefer our pleasant chat in this room to the heavenly concert of the serifs I am passionately fond of music darling but I cannot help trembling at the idea of going out if you tremble I must shudder but we ought to go to the opera or leave Parma let us go to London or to any other place give your orders I am ready to do anything you like well take a private box as little as possible how kind you are the box I had engaged was in the second tier but the theater being small it was difficult for a pretty woman to escape observation I told her so I do not think there was any danger she answered for I have not seen the name of any person of my acquaintance in the list of foreigners which you gave me to read thus did Henrietta go to the opera I had taken care that our box should not be lighted up it was an opera bouffa the music of Borellano was excellent and the singers were very good Henrietta made no use of her opera glass except to look on the stage and nobody paid any attention to us as she had been greatly pleased with the finale of the second act I promised to go get it for her and I asked Dubois to procure it for me thinking that she could play the harpsichord I offered to get one I never touched that instrument on the night of the fourth or fifth performance Monsieur Dubois came to our box and as I did not wish to introduce him to my friend I only asked what I could do for him he then handed me the music I had begged him to purchase for me and I paid him what it had cost offering him my best thanks as we were just opposite the dukel box I asked him for the sake of saying something whether he had engraved the portraits of their highnesses he answered that he had already engraved two medals and I gave him an order for both in gold he promised to let me have them and left the box Henrietta had not even looked at him and that was according to all established rules as I had not introduced him but the next morning he was announced as we were at dinner Monsieur de la haine who was dining with us complimented us upon having made the acquaintance of Dubois and introduced him to his pupil the moment he came into the room it was then right for Henrietta to welcome him what she did most gracefully after she had thanked him for the patrezone she begged he would get her some other music and the artist accepted her request as a favor granted to him sir said Dubois to me I have tapened the liberty of bringing the medals you wish to have here they are on one were the portraits of the Infanta and his wife on the other engraved only the head of Don Philipp they were both beautifully engraved and we expressed our just admiration the workmanship is beyond all price said Henrietta but the gold can be bartered for other gold Madame answered the modest artist the medals weigh 16 sequence she gave him the amount immediately and invited him to call again at dinner time coffee was just brought in at that moment and she asked him to take it with us before sweetening his cup she inquired whether he liked his coffee very sweet your taste madam answered the hunchback gallantly is sure to be mine then you have guessed that I always drink coffee without sugar I am glad that we have that taste in common and she gracefully offered him the cup of coffee without sugar she then helped de la haine and me not forgetting to put plenty of sugar on our cups and she poured out one for herself exactly like the one she had handed to Dubois it was much ado for me not to laugh for my mischievous French woman who liked her coffee in the Parisian fashion that is to say very sweet was sipping the bitter beverage with an air of delight which compelled the director of the mint to smile under the inflection but the cunning hunchback was even with her accepting the penalty of his foolish compliment and praising the good quality of the coffee he boldly declared that it was the only way to taste the delicious aroma of the precious berry when Dubois and de la haine had left us we both laughed at the trick but said I to Henrietta you will be the first victim of your mischief for whenever he dines with us you must keep up the joke in order not to betray yourself oh I think I can easily contrive to drink my coffee while sweetened and to make him drink the bitter cup at the end of one month Henrietta could speak Italian fluently and it was owing more to the constant practice she had every day with my cousin Geneton who acted as her maid then to the lessons of Professor de la haine the lessons only taught her the rules and practice is necessary to acquire a language I had experienced it myself I learned more French during the too short period that I spent so happily with my charming Henrietta than in all the lessons I had taken we had attended the opera twenty times without making any acquaintance and our life was indeed supremely happy I never went out without Henrietta and always in a carriage we never received anyone and nobody knew us Dubois was the only person since the departure of the good Hungarian who sometimes dined with us I do not reckon de la haine who was a daily guest at our table Dubois felt great curiosity about us but he was cunning and did not show his curiosity we were reserved without affectation and his acquisitiveness was at fault one day he mentioned to us that the court of the Infante of Parma was very brilliant since the arrival of Madame de France and that there were many foreigners of both sexes in the city then turning to Henrietta he said to her most of the foreign ladies whom we have here are unknown to us very likely many of them would not show themselves if they were known very likely Madame as you say but I can assure you that even if their beauty and the richness of their toilet made them conspicuous our sovereigns wish for freedom I still hope Madame that we shall have the happiness of seeing you at the court of the Duke I do not think so for in my opinion it is superlatively ridiculous for a lady to go to the court without being presented thoroughly if she has a right to be so the last words on which Henrietta had laid a little more stress than upon the first part of her answer struck our little hunchback dumb and my friend improving her opportunity changed the subject of conversation when we had gone we enjoyed the check she had thus given to the inquisitiveness of our guest but I told Henrietta that in good conscious she ought to forgive all those whom she rendered curious she cut my word short by covering me with lovely kisses thus supremely happy in finding in one another constant satisfaction we would laugh at those morose philosophers who deny the complete happiness could be found on earth what do they mean those crazy fools by saying that happiness is not long lasting and how do they understand that word if they mean everlasting immortal unintermeining of course they are right but man not being such happiness as a natural consequence cannot be such other otherwise every happiness is lasting for the very reason that it does exist and to be lasting it requires only to exist but if by complete felicity they understand a series of varied and never interrupted pleasures they are wrong because by allowing after each pleasure the calm which ought to follow the enjoyment of it we have time to realize happiness in its reality in other words those necessary periods of repose are a source of true enjoyment because thanks to them we enjoy the delight of recollection which increases twofold the reality of happiness man can be happy only when in his own mind he realizes his happiness and calm is necessary to give full play to his mind therefore without calm man would never be completely happy and pleasure in order to be felt must cease to be active what do they mean by that word lasting every day we reach a moment when we long for sleep and although it be the very likeness of non-existence can anyone deny that sleep is a pleasure no at least it seems to me that it cannot be denied with consistency for the moment it comes to us we give it the preference over all other pleasures and we are grateful to it only after it has left us those who say that no one can be happy throughout life speak likewise frivolously philosophy teaches the secret of securing that happiness provided one is free from bodily sufferings a felicity that with us last throughout life can be compared to a nose-gay formed of a thousand flowers so beautifully so skillfully blended together that it would look one single flower why should it be impossible for us to spend here a whole of our life as we spent the last month always in good health always loving one another without ever feeling any other want or weariness then to crown that happiness which would certainly be immense all that would be wanted would be to die together in an advanced age speaking to the last moment of our pleasant recollections surely that felicity would have been lasting death would not interrupt it for death would end it we could not even then suppose ourselves unhappy unless we dreaded unhappiness after death and such an idea strikes me as absurd for it is a contradiction of the idea of an almighty and fatherly tenderness it was thus that my beloved Henrietta would often make me spend delightful hours talking philosophic sentiment her logic was better than that of Cicero in his Tuscalan disputations but she admitted that such lasting felicity could exist only between two things who lived together and loved each other with constant affection healthy in mind and in body enlightened sufficiently rich similar in tastes in disposition and in temperament happy are those lovers who, when their senses require rest, can fall back upon the intellectual enjoyments afforded by the mind sweet sleep then comes and lasts until the body has recovered its general harmony unawaking the senses are again active and always ready to resume their actions the conditions of existence are exactly the same for man as for the universe I might almost say that between them there is perfect identity for if we take the universe away mankind no longer exists and if we take mankind away there is no longer an universe who could realize the idea of the existence of inorganic manner now without the idea nihil est since the idea is the essence of everything and since man alone has ideas besides if we abstract the species we can no longer imagine the existence of matter and vice versa I derived from Henriette such great happiness as that charming woman derived from me we loved one another with all the strength of our faculties and we were everything to each other she would often repeat these pretty lines of the good Lafontaine Soyez-vous, la une, la autre, au monde toujours beau toujours divers, toujours nouveau Tenez-vous, les deux-trois Compez pour rien le reste and we did not fail to put the advice into practice for never did a minute of ennui or of weariness nor did the slightest trouble disturb our bliss the day after the close of the opera Dubois, who was dining with us said on the following day he was entertaining two first artists Primo Cantatore and Prima Cantatrice and added that if we'd like to come we could hear some of their best pieces which they were to sing in a lofty hall of his country house particularly adapted to the display of the human voice Henriette thanked him warmly but she said that her health being very delicate she cannot engage herself beforehand and she spoke of other things when we were alone I asked why she had refused the pleasure offered by Dubois I should accept his invitation, she answered and with delight if I were not afraid of meeting at his house some person who might know me and would destroy the happiness I am now enjoying with you if you have any fresh motive for dreading such an occurrence you are quite right but if it is only a vague, groundless fear my love, why should you deprive yourself of a real and innocent pleasure if you knew how pleased I am when I see you enjoy yourself and particularly when I witness your ecstasy and listening to fine music well my darling I do not wish to show myself less brave than you we will go immediately after dinner the artists will not sing before besides as he does not expect us it is unlikely to have invited any person curious to speak to me we will go without giving him notice of our coming without being expected and as if we wanted to pay him a friendly visit he told us that he would be at his country house and Koudagna knows where it is her reasons were a mixture of prudence and of love two feelings which are seldom blended together my answer was to kiss her with as much admiration as tenderness the next day at four o'clock in the afternoon we paid our visit to Monsieur de Bois we were much surprised for you found him alone with a very pretty girl whom he presented to us as his niece I am delighted to see you, he said but as I did not expect you I altered my arrangements and instead of the dinner I had intended to give I invited my friends to supper I hope you will not refuse me the honour of your company the two virtuosi will soon be here we were compelled to accept his invitation will there be many guests I inquired you will find yourself in the midst of people worthy of you he answered triumphantly I am only in sorry that I had not invited any ladies this polite remark which was intended for Henrietta made her drop him a curtsy which she accompanied with a smile I was pleased to read contentment on her countenance but alas she was concealing the painful anxiety which she felt acutely her noble mind refused to show any uneasiness and I could not guess her in most thoughts because I had no idea that she had anything to fear I should have thought and acted differently if I had known all her history instead of remaining in Parma I should have gone with her to London and I know now that she would have been delighted to go there the two artists arrived soon afterwards they were the Primo Cantore Lashi and the Prima Donna Baglioni then a very pretty woman the other guests soon followed all of them were Frenchmen and Spaniards of a certain age no introductions took place and I read the tact of the witty hunchback in the omission but as all the guests were men used to the manners of the court that neglect of etiquette did not prevent them from paying every honour to my lovely friend who received their compliments with that ease and good breeding which are known only in France and even then only in the highest society with the exception however of a few French provinces in which the nobility wrongly called good society show rather too openly the haughtiness which is characteristic of that class the concert began by a magnificent symphony after which Lashi and Baglioni sang a duet with great talent and much taste they were followed by a pupil of the celebrated Vandini who played a concerto on the violin cello and was warmly applauded the applause had not ceased when Henrietta leaving her seat went up to the young artist and told him with modest confidence as she took the violin cello from him that she could bring out the beautiful tone of the instrument still better I was struck with amazement she took the young man's seat and played the violin cello between her knees and begged the leader of the orchestra to begin the concert again the deepest silence prevailed I was trembling all over and almost fainting fortunately every look was fixed upon Henrietta and nobody thought of me nor was she looking towards me she would not have then ventured even one glance for she would have lost courage if she had raised her beautiful eyes to my face however not seeing her disposing herself to play I was beginning to imagine that she was only indulging in a jest when she suddenly made the strings resound my heart was beating with such force that I thought I should drop down dead but let the reader imagine my situation when the concerto being over well merited applause burst from every part of the room the rapid change from extreme fear to excessive pleasure brought on an excitement which was like a violent fever the applause did not seem to have any effect upon Henrietta who without raising her eyes from the notes which she saw for the very first time played six pieces with the greatest perfection as she rose from her seat she did not thank the guests for their applause but addressing the young artist with affability she told him with a sweet smile that she had never played on a finer instrument then curtsying to the audience she said I entreat your forgiveness for a moment of vanity which has made me encroach on your patience for half an hour the nobility and grace of this remark completely upset me and I ran out to weep like a child in the garden where nobody could see me who is she this Henrietta I said to myself my heart beating and my eyes swimming with tears of emotion what is this treasure I have in my possession my happiness was so immense that I felt myself unworthy of it lost in these thoughts which enhance the pleasure of any tears I should have stayed for a long time in the gardens if Dubois had not come out to look for me he felt anxious about me owing to my sudden disappearance and I quieted him by saying that a slight giddiness had compelled me to come out to breathe the fresh air before re-entering the room I had time to dry my tears but my eyelids were still red Henrietta however was the only one to take notice of it and she said to me I know my darling why you went into the garden she knew me so well that she could easily guess the impression made on my heart by the evening's occurrence Dubois had invited the most amiable nobleman of the court and his supper was dainty and well arranged I was seated opposite of Henrietta who was, as a matter of course, monopolizing the general attention but she would have met with the same success if she had been surrounded by a circle of ladies whom she would certainly have thrown into the shade by her beauty her wit and her distinction of her manners she was the charm of that supper by the animation she imparted to the conversation Monsieur Dubois said nothing but he was proud to have such a lovely guest in his house she contrived to say a few gracious words to everyone and was shrewd enough never to utter something witty without making me take a share in it on my side I openly showed my submissiveness my deference and my respect for that divinity but it was all in vain she wanted everyone to know that I was her lord and master she might have been taken from my wife but my behavior to her rendered such a supposition improbable the conversation had been falling on the respective merits of the French and Spanish nations Dubois was foolish enough to ask Henrietta to which she gave preference it would have been difficult to ask a more indiscreet question considering that the company was composed almost entirely a Frenchman and Spaniards in about equal proportion yet my Henrietta turned the difficulty so cleverly that the Frenchman would have liked to be Spaniards and vice versa Dubois, nothing daunted, begged her to say what she thought of the Italians the question made me tremble a certain Monsieur de la Combe who was seated near me shook his head in a token of disapprobation but Henrietta did not try to elude the question what can I say about the Italians? she answered I know only one if I am to judge them from all that one my judgment must be most certainly favorable to them but one single example is not sufficient to establish the rule it was impossible to give a better answer but as my reader may well imagine I did not appear to have heard it and being anxious to prevent any more indiscreet questions from Dubois I turned the conversation into a different channel the subject of music was discussed and a Spaniard asked Henrietta whether she could play any other instrument besides the violoncello no, she answered I had never felt any inclination for any other I learned the violoncello at the convent of my mother who can play it very well and without an order from my father sanctioned by the bishop the Abbas would never have given me permission to practice it what objection could the Abbas make? that devout spouse of our lord pretended that I could not play that instrument without assuming an indecent position and this the Spanish guests spit their lips but the Frenchmen laughed heartily and did not spare their epigrams about the over particular Abbas after a short silence Henrietta rose and we all followed her example it was the signal for breaking up the party and we soon took our leave I longed to find myself alone with the idol of my soul I asked her a hundred questions without waiting for the answer ah, you were right my own Henrietta when you refused to go to that concert for you know that you would raise many enemies against me I am certain that all those men hate me but what do I care? you are my universe cruel darling you almost killed me with your violin cello because having no idea of your being a musician I had thought you had gone mad and when I heard you I was compelled to leave the room in order to weep undisturbed my tears relieved my fearful oppression oh, I entreat you to tell me what other talents you possess tell me candidly for you might kill me if you brought them out unexpectedly as you had done this evening I have no other accomplishments my best beloved I have emptied my bag all at once now you know your Henrietta entirely had you not chance to tell me about a month ago that you had no taste for music I would certainly have told you that I could play the violin cello remarkably well but if I had mentioned such a thing I know you well enough to be certain that you would have bought me an instrument immediately and I could not, dearest, find pleasure in anything that would weary you the very next morning she had an excellent violin cello and far from wearying me each time she played she caused me a new and greater pleasure I believed that it would be impossible even to a man disliking music not to become passionately fond of it if that art were practiced to perfection by the woman he adores the Vox Humana of the violin cello the king of instruments went to my heart every time that my beloved Henrietta performed upon it she knew I loved to hear her play and every day she afforded me that pleasure her talent delighted me so much that I proposed to her to give some concerts but she was prudent enough to refuse my proposal but in spite of all her prudence we had no power to hinder the decrees of fate the fatal hunchback came the day after his fine supper to thank us and to receive our well merited praises of his concert his supper and the distinction of his guests I foresee madam, he said to Henrietta all the difficulty I shall have in defending myself against the prayers of all my friends who will beg me to introduce you to them you need not have much trouble on that score you know that I never receive anyone Dubois did not again venture upon speaking of introducing any friend on the same day I received a letter from young Capitani in which he informed me that being the owner of Saint Peter's knife and sheath he had called on Franzia with two learned magicians who had promised to raise the treasures out of the earth and that to his great surprise Franzia had refused to receive him he entreated me to write to the worthy fellow and to go to him myself if I wanted to have a share of the treasure I need not say that I did not comply with his wishes but I can vouch for the real pleasure I felt in finding that I had succeeded in saving that honest and simple farmer from the imposters who would have ruined him one month was gone since the great supper given by Dubois we had passed it and all the enjoyment which can be derived both from the senses and the mind and never had one single instant of weariness caused either of us to be guilty of that sad symptom of misery which is called a yawn the only pleasure we took out of doors was a drive outside of the city when the weather was fine as we never walked in the streets and never frequented any public place no one had sought to make our acquaintance or at least no one had found an opportunity of doing so in spite of all the curiosity excited by Henrietta amongst the persons whom we had chance to meet particularly at the house of Dubois Henrietta had become more courageous and I more confident she had not been recognized by anyone either at that supper or at the theatre she only dreaded persons belonging to the high nobility one day as we were driving outside the gate of Collourne we met the Duke in Duchess who were returning to Parma immediately after their carriage another vehicle driving along in which was Dubois with a nobleman unknown to us our carriage had gone only a few yards from theirs when one of our horses broke down the companion of Dubois immediately ordered his coachmen to stop in order to send to our assistance whilst the horse was raised again he came politely to our carriage and paid some civil compliment to Henrietta Mr. Dubois always a shrewd courtier and anxious to show off at the expense of others lost no time in introducing him as Mr. Dutilotte the French ambassador gave the conventional bow the horses being alright again we proceeded on our road after thanking the gentlemen for their courtesy such an everyday occurrence could not be expected to have any serious consequences but alas the most important events are often the result of very trifling circumstances the next day Dubois breakfasted with us he told us frankly that Mr. Dutilotte had been delighted by our acquaintance which had offered him an opportunity of making our acquaintance in that he had entreated him to ask our permission to call on us on Madame or on me I asked at once on both very well but one at a time Madame as you know has her own room and I have mine yes but they are so near to each other granted yet I must tell you that as far as I'm concerned I should have much pleasure in his excellency if he should ever wish to communicate with me and you will oblige me by letting him know it as for Madame she is here speak to her my dear Dubois for I am only her very humble servant Henrietta assumed an air of cheerful politeness and said to him sir I beg you to offer my thanks to Mr. Dutilotte and to inquire from him whether he knows me I am certain Madame said the hunchback I am not you see he does not know me and yet he wishes to call upon me you must agree with me that if I accepted his visits I should give him a very singular opinion of my character be good enough to tell him that although known to no one and knowing no one I am not an adventurous and therefore I must decline the honor of his visits Dubois felt he had taken a false step and remained silent we never asked him whether he had received our refusal three weeks after the last occurrence the Ducal court residing then at Colorado a great entertainment was given in the gardens which were to be illuminated at night everybody had permission to walk about the gardens Dubois the fatal hunchback appointed by destiny spoke so much of that festival that we took a fancy to see it always the same story of Adam's apple Dubois we went to Colorado the day before the entertainment and put up at an inn in the evening we walked through the gardens in which we happened to meet the Ducal family in suite according to the etiquette of the French court Madame de France was the first to curtsy to Henrietta without stopping my eyes fell upon a gentleman walking by the side of Don Luis who was looking at my friend very attentively a few minutes after as we were taking steps we came across the same gentleman who after bowing respectfully to us took Dubois aside they could first together for a quarter of an hour following us all the time and we were passing out of the gardens when the gentleman coming forward and politely apologizing to me asked Henrietta whether he had the honor to be known to her I do not recollect ever having had the honor of seeing you before that is enough madam and I entreat you to forgive me Dubois informed us that the gentleman was the intimate friend of the Infanta Don Luis and that believing that he knew madam he begged to be introduced Dubois had answered that her name was de Arqui and that if he was known to the lady he required no introduction Monsieur de Antoine said that the name of de Arqui was unknown to him and that he was afraid of making a mistake in that state of doubt added Dubois and wishing to clear it he introduced himself but now he must see that he was mistaken after supper Henrietta appeared anxious I asked her whether she had only pretended not to know Monsieur de Antoine no my dearest I can assure you I know his name which belongs to an illustrious family of Provence but I have never seen him before perhaps he may know you he might have seen me but I am certain that he never spoke to me or I would have recollected him that meeting causes me great anxiety and it seems to have troubled you I confess it has disturbed my mind let us leave Parma at once and proceed to Genoa we will go to Venice as soon as my affairs there are settled yes my dear friend we shall then feel more comfortable but I do not think we need be in any hurry we return to Parma in two days afterwards my servant handed me a letter saying that the footman who had brought it was waiting in the enter room this letter I said to Henrietta troubles me she took it and after she had read it she gave it back to me saying I think Monsieur de Antoine is a man of honor and I hope that we may have nothing to fear the letter ran as follows either at your hotel or at my residence or at any other place you may wish to appoint I entreat you sir to give me an opportunity of conversing with you on a subject which must be of the greatest importance to you I have the honor to be etc. de Antoine it was addressed Monsieur Farroussi I think I must see him I said but where? neither here nor at his residence but in the Ducal Gardens your answer must name only the place of the meeting I wrote to Monsieur de Antoine that I would see him at half past 11 in the Ducal Gardens only requesting him to appoint another hour in case mine was not convenient to him I dressed myself at once in order to be in good time and meanwhile we both endeavored Henrietta and I to keep a cheerful countenance but we could not silence our sad forebodings I was exact to my appointment with Monsieur de Antoine waiting for me as soon as we were together he said to me I have been compelled sir to beg from you the favor of an interview because I could not imagine any sure way to get this letter to Madame de Arqui's hands I entreat you to deliver it to her and to excuse me if I give it to you sealed should I be mistaken my letter will not even require an answer but should I be right my loan can judge whether she ought to communicate it to you that is my reason for giving it to you sealed if you are truly her friend the contents of that letter must be as interesting to you as to her may I hope sir that you will be good enough to deliver it to her sir on my honor I will do it we bowed respectfully to each other imparted company I hurried back to the hotel End of Chapter 2 Chapter 3 of the Memoise of Jacques Casanova Volume 2 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org The Memoise of Jacques Casanova Volume 2 Paris and Prison by Jacques Casanova Translated by Arthur Matchen Episode 6 Chapter 3 Henrietta receives the visit of Monsieur D'Antoine I accompany her as far as Geneva and then I lose her I cross the St. Bernard and return to Parma a letter from Henrietta my despair De La Haye becomes attached to me unpleasant adventure with an actress and its consequences I turn a thorough bigot Bavois I mystify a bragging officer As soon as I had reached our apartment my heart bursting with anxiety I repeated to Henrietta every word spoken by Monsieur D'Antoine and delivered his letter which contained four pages of writing She read it attentively with visible emotion and then she said dearest friend do not be offended but the honor of two families does not allow of my imparting to you the contents of this letter I am compelled to receive Monsieur D'Antoine who represents himself as being one of my relatives ah! I exclaimed this is the beginning of the end what a dreadful thought I am near the end of a felicity which was too great to last wretched that I have been why did I tarry so long in Parma what fatal blindness of all the cities in the whole world except France Parma was the only one I had to fear and it is here that I have brought you and I could have taken you anywhere else for you had no will but mine I am the more guilty that you never concealed your fears for me why did I introduce that fatal dubois here ought I not to have guessed that his curiosity would sooner or later prove injurious to us and yet I cannot condemn that curiosity for it is alas a natural feeling I can only accuse all the perfections which heaven has bestowed upon you perfections which have caused my happiness and which will plunge me into an abyss of despair for alas I foresee a future of fearful misery I entreat you dearest to foresee nothing and to calm yourself let us avail ourselves of all our reason in order to prove ourselves superior to circumstances whatever they may be I cannot answer this letter but you must write to Monsieur d'Antoine to borrow and to send up his name alas you compel me to perform a painful task you are my best my only friend I demand nothing I impose no task upon you but can you refuse me no, never, no matter what you ask dispose of me I am yours in life and death I knew what you would answer you must be with me when Monsieur d'Antoine calls but after a few minutes I am ready to etiquette will you find some pretext to go to your room and leave us alone Monsieur d'Antoine knows all my history he knows in what I have done wrong in what I have been right as a man of honor as my relative he must shelter me from all affront he will not do anything against my will and if he attempts to deviate from the conditions I will dictate to him I will refuse to go to France I will follow you anywhere and devote to you the remainder of my life yet my darling recollect that some fatal circumstances may compel us to consider our separation as the wisest course to adopt that we must husband all our courage to adopt it if necessary and to endeavor not to be too unhappy have confidence in me and be quite certain that I shall take care to reserve for myself the small portion of happiness which I can be allowed to enjoy without the man who alone has won all my devoted love all have I trust and I expect it from your generous soul the same care of your future and I feel certain that you must succeed in the meantime let us drive away all the sad forebodings which may darken the hours we have yet before us ah why did we not go away immediately after we had met that accursed favorite of the Infante we might have made matters much worse for in that case Monsieur d'Antoine might have made up his mind with my family a proof of his zeal by instituting a search to discover our place of residence I should then have been exposed to violent proceedings which you would not have endured it would have been fatal to both of us I did everything she asked of me from that moment our love became sad and sadness is a disease which gives the death blow to affection we would remain a whole hour opposite each other without exchanging a single word and our sighs would be heard whatever we did to hush them the next day Monsieur d'Antoine called I followed exactly the instructions she had given me and for six mortal hours I remained alone pretending to write the door of my room was open and a large looking glass allowed us to see each other they spent those six hours in writing occasionally stopping to talk of I do not know what but their conversation was evidently a decisive one the reader can easily realize how much I suffered during that long torture for I could expect nothing but the total wreck of my happiness as soon as the terrible Monsieur d'Antoine had taken leave of her Henrietta came to me and observing that her eyes were red I heaved a deep sigh but she tried to smile shall we go away tomorrow, dearest? oh yes, I am ready where do you wish me to take you? anywhere you like but we must be here in a fortnight here? oh fatal illusion alas it is so I have promised to be here to receive the answer to a letter I have just written we have no violent proceedings to fear but I cannot bear to remain in Parma ah, I cursed the hour which brought us to this city would you like to go to Milan? yes as we are unfortunately compelled to come back we might as well take Caldagna and his sister as you please let me arrange everything I will order a carriage for them and they will take charge of your violin cello do you not think that you ought to let Monsieur d'Antoine know where you are going? no, it seems to me on the contrary that I need not account to him for any of my proceedings so much the worse for him if he should even for one moment, doubt my word the next morning we left Parma there was only what we wanted for an absence of a fortnight we arrived in Milan without accident but both very sad and spent the following fifteen days in constant tet-a-tet without speaking to anyone except the landlord of the hotel and to a dressmaker I presented my lovely Henrietta with a magnificent pelize made of lynx fur a present which she prized highly out of delicacy I was very grateful to her for that reserve I was very careful to conceal from her the fact that my purse was getting very light when we came back to Parma I had only three or four hundred sequins a day after our return Monsieur d'Antoine invited himself to dine with us and after we had drunk coffee I left him alone with Henrietta their interview was as long as the first and our separation was decided she informed me of it only after the departure of Monsieur d'Antoine and for a long time we remained folded in each other's arms silent and blending our bitter tears when shall I have to part from you my beloved alas too much, beloved one be calm, dearest only when we reach Geneva with her you are going to accompany me will you try to find me a respectable maid by tomorrow she will accompany me from Geneva to the place where I am bound to go oh, then we shall spend a few more days together I know no one but Dubois whom I would trust to procure a good femme de chambre only I do not want him to learn from her what you might not wish him to know that will not be the case for I will take another maid as soon as I am in France three days afterward Dubois, who had gladly undertaken the commission presented to Henrietta a woman already somewhat advanced in years pretty well dressed and respectable looking who, being poor was glad of an opportunity of going back to France her native country her husband, an old military officer had died a few months before leaving her totally unprovided for Henrietta engaged her and I told her to keep herself ready to start whenever M. Dubois should give her notice the day before the one fixed for our departure M. D'Antoine dined with us before taking leave of us he gave Henrietta a sealed letter for Geneva we left Parma late in the evening and stopped only two hours in Turin in order to engage a man-servant whose services we required as far as Geneva the next day we ascended Malt Saini in sedan chairs and we descended to the Novalais in mountain sledges on the fifth day we reached Geneva and we put up at the Hotel de Balanques the next morning Henrietta gave me a letter for the banker Tronkin who, when he would read it told me that he would call himself at the hotel and bring me 1000 Louis D'Or I came back and we sat down to dinner we had not finished our meal when the banker was announced he had brought the 1000 Louis D'Or and told Henrietta that he would give her two men whom he could recommend in every way she answered that she would leave Geneva as soon as she had the carriage which he was to provide for her according to the letter I had delivered to him he promised that everything would be ready for the following day and he left us it was indeed a terrible moment grief almost benumbed us both we remained motionless speechless wrapped in the most profound despair I broke that silence to tell her that the carriage which Monsieur Tronkin would provide cannot possibly be as comfortable and as safe as mine and I entreated her to take it assuring that by accepting it she would give me a last proof of her affection I will take an exchange my dearest love the carriage sent by the banker I accept the change darling she answered it will be a very great consolation to possess something which has belonged to you as she said these words she slipped in my pocket five rolls containing 100 Louis D'Or consolation for my heart which was almost broken by our cruel separation during the last 24 hours we could boast of no other eloquence but that which finds expression in tears, in sobs and in those hackneyed but energetic exclamations which two happy lovers are sure to address to reason when in its sternness it compels them to part from one another in the very height of their felicity Henrietta did not endeavor to lure me with any hope for the future in order to allay my sorrow far from that she said to me once we are parted by fate my best and only friend never inquire after me and should chance throw you in my way do not appear to know me she had given me a letter from Mr. D'Antoine without asking me whether I intended to go back to Parma but even if such had not been my attention I should have determined at once upon returning to that city she likewise entreated me not to leave Geneva until I had received a letter which she promised to write me from the first stage of her journey she started a daybreak having with her a maid a footman on the box of the carriage and being preceded by a courier on horseback I followed her with my eyes as long as I could see her carriage and I was standing on the same spot long after my eyes had lost sight of it all my thoughts were wrapped up on the object I had lost forever the world was a blank I went back to my room ordered the waiter not to disturb me until the return of the horses which had drawn Henriette's carriage and I laid down on my bed in the hope that sleep would for a time silence a grief which tears could not drown the postillon which had driven Henriette did not return until the next day he had gone as far as Châtillon he brought me a letter in which I found one single word adieu he told me that they had reached Châtillon without accident and that the lady had immediately continued her journey toward Lyon as I could not leave Geneva until the following day I spent alone in my room some of the most melancholy hours of my life I saw on one of the paints of glass of a window these words which she had traced with the point of a diamond I had given her you will forget Henriette that prophecy was not likely to afford me any consolation but had she attached its full meaning to the word forget no she can only mean that time would at last heal the deep wounds of my heart and she ought not to have made it deeper by leaving behind her those words which sounded like a reproach no I have not forgotten her for even now when my head is covered with white hair the recollection of her is still a source of happiness for my heart when I think that in my old age I derive happiness only from the recollections of the past I find that my long life must have counted more bright than dark days and offering my thanks to God the giver of all I congratulate myself and confess that life is a great blessing the next day I set off again for Italy with a servant recommended by Monsieur Tronkin although the season was not favorable I took the road over Mont Saint Bernard which I crossed in three days with seven mules carrying me my servant, my luggage and the carriage sent by the banker to the beloved woman now ever lost to me one of the advantages of a great sorrow is that nothing else seems painful it is a sort of despair which is not without some sweetness during that journey I never felt either hunger or thirst or so intense in that part of the Alps that the whole of nature seems to turn to ice or the fatigue inseparable from such a dangerous and difficult journey I arrived in Parma in pretty good health and took up my quarters at a small inn in the hope that in such a place I should not meet any acquaintance of mine but I was disappointed for I found in that inn Monsieur de la Hay who had a room next to mine surprised at seeing me compliment, trying to make me speak but I eluded his curiosity by telling him that I was tired and that we would see each other again on the following day I called upon Monsieur d'Antoine and delivered the letter which Henrietta had written to him he opened it in my presence and finding another to my address and closed in his he handed it to me without reading it although it was not sealed thinking however that it might have been Henrietta's intention that he should read it before it was open he asked my permission to do so which I granted with pleasure which I granted with pleasure as soon as I had myself perused it he handed it back to me after he had read it telling me very feelingly that I could and everything rely upon him and upon his influence and credit here is Henrietta's letter it is I, dearest and best friend who have been compelled to abandon you but do not let your grief be increased by any thought of my sorrow let us be wise enough to suppose that we have had a happy dream and not to complain of destiny for never did so beautiful a dream last so long let us be proud of the consciousness that for three months we gave one another the most perfect felicity few human beings can boast so much let us swear never to forget one another and to often remember the happy hours of our love in order to renew them in our souls which although divided will enjoy them as acutely as if our hearts were beating one against the other do not make any inquiries about me and if by chance let you know who I am forget it forever I feel certain that you will be glad to hear that I have arranged my affairs so well that I shall for the remainder of my life be happy as I can possibly be without you, dear friend by my side I may not know who you are but I am certain that no one in the world knows you better than I do I shall not have another lover as long as I live but I do not wish you to imitate me on the contrary I hope that you will love again and I trust that a good fairy will bring you along your path another Henrietta farewell, farewell I met that adorable woman fifteen years later to see where and how when we come to that period of my life I went back to my room careless of the future broken down by the deepest of sorrows I locked myself in and went to bed I felt so low in spirits that I was stunned life was not a burden but only because I did not give a thought to life in fact I was in a state of complete apathy moral and physical six years later I found myself but that time love was not the cause of my sorrow it was the horrible and too famous prison of the Leeds in Venice I was not much better either in seventeen sixty-eight when I was lodged in the prison of Buen Retirio in Madrid but I must not anticipate events at the end of twenty four hours my exhaustion was very great but I did not find the sensation disagreeable and in the state of mind in which I was then I was pleased with the idea that by increasing that weakness would at last kill me I was delighted to see that no one disturbed me to offer some food and I congratulated myself upon having dismissed my servant twenty-four more hours passed by and my weakness became complete inannition I was in that state when De La Hay knocked at my door I would not have answered it if he had not said to me I got out of bed and scarcely able to stand I opened my door after which I got into bed again there is a stranger here he said who being in want of a carriage offers to buy yours I do not want to sell it excuse me if I've disturbed you but you look ill yes I wish to be left alone what is the matter with you coming nearer to my bed he took my hand on my pulse extremely low and weak what did you eat yesterday I have eaten nothing thank God I for two days guessing the real state of things De La Hay became anxious and it treated me to take some broth he threw so much kindness so much unction into his entreaties that through weakness and weariness I allowed myself to be persuaded then without ever mentioning the name of Henrietta it treated me to a sermon upon the life to come upon the vanity of the things of this life which we are frolish enough to prefer and upon the necessity of respecting our existence which does not belong to us I was listening without answering one word but after all I was listening and De La Hay perceiving his advantage would not leave me and order dinner I had neither the will nor the strength to resist and when the dinner was served I ate something then De La Hay saw that he had conquered and for the remainder of the day devoted himself to amusing me by his cheerful conversation the next day the tables returned for it was I who invited him to keep me company and to dine with me it seemed to me that I had not lost a particle of my sadness but life appeared to me once more preferable to death and thinking that I was indebted to him for the preservation of my life my readers will presently see that my affection for him went very far and they will, like me marvel at the cause of that friendship and at the means through which it was brought about three or four days afterwards De Bois who had been informed of everything by De La Hay called on me and persuaded me to go out I went to the theatre where I made the acquaintance of several Corsican officers who had served in France in the Royal Italian Regiment I also met a young man from Sicily named Paterno the wildest and most heedless fellow it was possible to see he was in love with an actress who made a fool of him he amused me with the enumeration of all her adorable qualities and of all the cruelty she was practicing upon him for although she received him at all hours she repulsed him harshly whenever he tried to steal this slightest favor in the meantime she ruined him by making him pay constantly for excellent dinners in suppers which were eaten by her family but which did not advance him one inch towards the fulfillment of his wishes he succeeded at last in exciting my curiosity I examined the actress on the stage in finding that she was not without beauty I expressed a wish to know her Paterno was delighted to introduce me to her I found that she was of tolerably easy virtue and knowing that she was very far from rolling in riches I had no doubt that 15 or 20 sequins would be quite sufficient to make her compliant I communicated my thoughts to Paterno but he laughed and told me that if I dared to make such a proposition to her she would certainly shut her door against me he named several officers whom she had refused to receive again because they had made similar offers yet added the young man I wish you would make the attempt to tell me the results candidly I felt peaked and promised to do it I paid her a visit in her dressing room at the theater and as she happened during our conversation to praise the beauty of my watch I told her that she could obtain easy possession of it and I said at what price she answered according to the catechism of her profession that an honorable man had no right to make such an offer to a respectable girl I offer only one Ducat said I to those who are not respectable and I left her when I told Paterno what had occurred he fairly jumped for joy but I knew what to think of it all for cosi sono tutte and in spite of all his entreaties I declined to be present at his suppers which were far from amusing and gave the family of the actress an opportunity of laughing at the poor fool who was paying for them seven or eight days afterwards Paterno told me that the actress had related the affair to him exactly in the same words which I had used and she added that if I had ceased my visits it is only because I was afraid of her taking me at my word in case I should renew my proposal I commissioned him to tell her that I would pay her another visit not to renew my offer but to show my contempt for any proposal that she might make me herself the heedless fellow fulfilled his commission so well this feeling insulted told him that she dared me to call upon her perfectly determined to show that I despised her I went to her dressing room the same evening after the second act of a play in which she was not to appear again she dismissed those who were with her saying that she wanted to speak with me and after she had bolted the door she sat down gracefully on my knees asking me whether it was true that I despised her so much in such a position a man has not the courage to insult a woman and instead of answering I set to work at once without meeting even with that show of resistance which sharpens the appetite in spite of that dupe as I always was of a feeling truly absurd when an intelligent man has to deal with such creatures I gave her 20 sequins and I confessed that it was paying dearly for very smarting regrets we both laughed at the stupidity of paterno who did not seem to know how such challenges generally end I saw the unlucky son of Sicily the next morning and I told him having found the actress very dull I would not see her again such was truly my intention but a very important reason which nature took care to explain to me three days afterwards compelled me to keep my word through a much more serious motive than a simple dislike for the woman however although I was deeply grieved to find myself in such a disgraceful position I did not think that I had any right to complain on the contrary I considered that my misfortune to be a just and well deserved punishment for having abandoned myself to a laïs after I enjoyed the felicity of possessing a woman like Henrietta my disease was not a case within the province of empirics and I thought myself a gay who was then dining with me every day and made no mystery of his poverty he placed me in the hands of a skillful surgeon who was at the same time a dentist he recognized certain symptoms which made it a necessity to sacrifice me to the god Mercury and that treatment owing to the season of the year compelled me to keep my room for six weeks it was during the winter of 1749 while I was thus curing myself from the disease De La Haye inoculated me with another as bad or perhaps even worse which I should never have thought myself susceptible of catching this Fleming who left me only for one hour in the morning to go at least he said so to church to perform his devotions made a bigot of me and to such an extent that I agreed with him that I was indeed fortunate to have caught a disease which was I would thank God fervently and with the most complete conviction for having employed Mercury to lend my mind until then wrapped in darkness to the pure light of holy truth there was no doubt that such an extraordinary change in my reasoning system was the result of the exhaustion brought on by the Mercury that impure and always injurious metal had weakened my mind to such an extent that I had become almost besotted until then my judgment had been insane the result was in my newly acquired wisdom I took the resolution of leading a totally different sort of life in the future De La Haye would often cry for joy when he saw me shedding tears caused by the contrition which he had the wonderful cleverness to sell in my poor sickly soul he would talk to me of paradise in the other world just as if he visited them in person and I never laughed at him he had accustomed me to renounce my reason now to renounce that divine faculty a man must no longer be conscious of his value he must have become an idiot the reader may judge of the state to which I was reduced by the following specimen one day De La Haye said to me it is not known whether God created the world during the vernal equinox or during the autumnal one creation being granted I replied in spite of the mercury such a question is childish for the seasons are relative and differ and differ quarters of the globe De La Haye reproached me with the heathenism of my ideas and told me I must abandon such impious reasonings and I gave way that man had been a Jesuit he not only however refused to admit it he would not even suffer anyone to mention it to him this was how he completed his work of seduction by telling me the history of his life after I had been educated in a good school he said and had devoted myself with some success to the arts and sciences I was for twenty years employed at the University of Paris afterwards I served as an engineer in the army and since that time I have published several works anonymously which are now in use in every boys school having given up the military service and being poor I undertook and completed the education of several young men some of whom now shine in the world even more than their excellent conduct than by their talents my last pupil was Marquis Bote now being without employment I live as you see trusting in God's providence four years ago I made the acquaintance of Baron Bavoie from La Sain the son of General Bavoie in the service of the Duke of Modain and afterwards was unfortunate enough to make himself too conspicuous the young Baron a Calvinist like his father did not like the idle life he was leading at home and he solicited me to undertake his education in order to fit him for a military career delighted at the opportunity of cultivating his fine natural disposition I gave up everything to devote myself entirely to my task I soon discovered that in the question of faith he knew himself to be an error and that he remained a Calvinist only out of respect to his family when I had found out his secret feelings on that head I had no difficulty in proving to him that his most important interests were involved in that question as his internal salvation was at stake struck by the truth of my words he abandoned himself to my affection and I took him to Rome to the Pope, Benedict the 14th who immediately after their abjuration of my pupil got him a lieutenancy in the army of the Duke of Modena but the dear proselyte who was only 25 years of age cannot live upon his pay of seven sequins a month and since his abjuration he has received nothing from his parents who are highly incest to what they call his apostasy he would find himself compelled to go back if I did not assist him but alas I am poor and without employment as I can only send him the trifling sums which I can obtain from the few good Christians with whom I am acquainted my pupil whose heart is full of gratitude would be very glad to know his benefactors but they refuse to acquaint him with their names and they are right because charity in order to be meritorious must not partake of any feeling of vanity thank God I have no cause for such a feeling but I am too happy to act as a father towards the young saint and to have had a share as the humble instrument of the Almighty in the salvation of his soul that handsome and good young man trusts no one but me and writes to me regularly twice a week I am too discreet to communicate his letters to you but if you were to read them they would make you weak for sympathy to him that I have sent the three gold pieces which you gave me yesterday as he said the last words my converter rose and went to the window to dry his tears I felt deeply moved and full of admiration for the virtue of De La Hay and of his pupil who to save his soul has placed himself under the hard necessity of accepting alms I cried as well as the apostle and in my dawning piety that I insisted not only upon remaining unknown to his pupil but also upon ignoring the amount of sums he might take out of my purse to forward to him and I therefore begged that he would help himself without rendering me any account De La Hay embraced me warmly saying that by following the precepts of the gospel so well I should certainly win the kingdom of heaven the mind assured to follow the body it is a privilege enjoyed by matter with an empty stomach I became a fanatic and the hollow made in my brain by the mercury became the home of enthusiasm without mentioning it to De La Hay I wrote to my three friends M. Bragedin and Company several letters full of pathos concerning my tartuffe and his pupil and I managed to communicate my fanaticism to them you are aware dear reader that nothing is so catching as the plague now fanaticism no matter of what nature is the only plague of the human mind I made my friends to understand that the good of our society depended upon the admission of these two virtuous individuals I allowed them to guess it but having myself become a Jesuit I took care not to say it openly it would of course be better if such an idea appeared to have emanated from those men so simple and at the same time so truly virtuous it is God's will I wrote to them for deceit must always take refuge under the protection of that sacred name that you employ all your influence in Venice and to find an honorable position for M. De La Hay and to promote the interests of young M. Boisvois in his profession M. de Bragedin answered that De La Hay could take up his quarters with us in his palace and that Boisvois was to write to his protector the Pope in treating his holiness to recommend him to the Ambassador of Venice who would then forward that recommendation to the Senate and that Boisvois could in that way feel sure of good employment the affair of the Patriarchate of Aqualia was at that time under discussion the Republic of Venice was in possession of it as well as the Emperor of Austria who claimed the use at Aghindi the Pope Benedict XIV who had been chosen as Arbitra and as he had not yet given his decision it was evident that the Republic would show very great deference to his recommendation while that important affair was enlisting all our sympathies and while they were expecting in Venice a letter stating the effect of the Pope's recommendation I was the hero of a comic adventure which for the sake of my readers must not pass unnoticed at the beginning of April 1st I was entirely cured of my last misfortune I had recovered all my usual vigor and I accompanied my converter to church every day never missing a sermon we likewise spent the evening together at the cafe where we generally met a great many officers among them was a provencelle who amused everyone with his boasting and with the recital of the military exploits by which he pretended to have distinguished himself in the service of several countries and principally in Spain as he was truly a source of amusement everybody pretended to believe him in order to keep up the game one day as I was staring at him he asked me whether I knew him by George, sir I exclaimed, know you why, did we not fight side by side at the bottle of Arbella at these words everybody burst out laughing but the boaster, nothing daunted said with animation I do not see anything so very laughable in that I was at that battle and therefore this gentleman might very well have remarked me in fact I think I can recollect him and continuing to speak with me he named the regiment in which we were brother officers of course we embraced one another congratulating each other upon the pleasure we both felt of meeting again in Parma after that truly comic joke was my inseparable preacher the next morning as I was at breakfast with de la hay the boasting provencelle entered my room without taking off his hat and said Monsieur de Arbella I have something of importance to tell you make haste and follow me if you are afraid you may take anyone you please with you I am good for half a dozen men I left my chair seized my pistols and aimed at him no one, I said with decision has the right to come and disturb me in my room be off this minute or I will blow your brains out the fellow drawing his sword dared me to murder him but at the same moment de la hay threw himself between us stamping violently on the floor the landlord came up and threatened the officer to send for the police if he did not withdraw immediately he went away saying that I had insulted him in public I must take care that the reparation I owed him should be as public as the insult when he had gone seeing that the affair might take a tragic turn I began to examine with de la hay how it could be avoided but we could not puzzle our imagination for in less than half an hour an officer of the infante of Parma presented himself and requested me to repair immediately to headquarters where Monsieur de Bertola commander of Parma wanted to speak with me I asked de la hay to accompany me as a witness of what I had said in the coffee room as well as what may have taken place in the apartment I presented myself before the commander whom I found surrounded by several officers among them the bragging Provençal Monsieur Bertolaan who was a witty man smiled when he saw me then with a very serious countenance he said to me you have made a laughing stock of this officer in a public place it is but right that you should give him publicly the satisfaction which he claims and as commander of this city I find myself bound in duty to ask you for that satisfaction in order to settle the affair amicably commander I answered I do not see why a satisfaction should be offered to this gentleman for it is not true that I have insulted him by turning him into a ridicule that I had seen him at the battle of Arbella and I could not have any doubt about it when he said he had been present at that battle and that he knew me again yes, interrupted the officer but I heard Rodella not Arbella and everyone knows that I fought at Rodella but you said Arbella and certainly with the intention of laughing at me since that battle had been fought more than 2,000 years ago while the battle of Rodella in Africa took place an hour time and I was there under the orders of the Duke of Montmar in the first place, sir you have no right to judge my intentions but I do not dispute your having been present at Rodella since you say so but in that case the tables are turned and I now demand a reparation from you if you dare discredit my having been at Arbella I certainly did not serve under the Duke of Montmar because he was not there I was aid to cap of Parmenion and I was wounded under his eyes if you were to ask me to show you the scar I could not satisfy you for you must understand that the body I had at that time does not exist any longer and in my present body, envelope I am only 23 years old all of this seems sheer madness but at all events I have witnesses to prove that you have been laughing at me for you stated that you had seen me at that battle and by the powers it is not possible because I was not there at all events I demand satisfaction so do I and we have equal rights if mine are not even better than yours for your witnesses are likewise mine and these gentlemen will absurd that you said you had seen me at Rodella and by the powers it is not possible for I was not there well I may have made a mistake so may I have no longer any claim against one another the commander who had been biting his lips to restrain his mirth said to him my dear sir I do not see that you have the slightest right to demand satisfaction since this gentleman confesses like you that he might have been mistaken but remarked the officer is it credible that he was at the battle of Arbella this gentleman leaves you free to believe or not to believe that liberty to assert that he was there until you can prove the contrary do you wish to deny it to make him draw his sword God forbid I would rather consider the affair ended well gentlemen said the commander I have but one more duty to perform and it is advised you to embrace one another like two honest men we followed the advice with the great pleasure the next day the provencelle came to share my dinner and I gave him a friendly welcome thus was ended that comic adventure to the great satisfaction of Monsieur de la Haye End of Chapter 3