 Smoked a baby. Oh, really? It's possible. Welcome to episode number 33 of the Mighty Mokka Fully Actual podcast. Um, and here we are, our last turn of, uh, work for the year. And, um, it's a bit of a rough start. You'll probably hear some commotion in the background. Um, at the moment we've got the cracker milk boys here with a huge production crew, they're filming their pilot. And, uh, James, believe it or not, he's not, he's not, he's not trying to be funny dressed up right now. That's just what he's, we're all in it. You see, he's actually Jack Friller. I'm being acted tonight. Like, like I'm pretty, I'm a pretty big deal. I think, yeah. No, you are. Yeah, you're credited. I know I am DB. Hopefully it'll be on. Fuck yeah. DB knows this could go massive. It could be bigger than rackers. Shit. Oh, imagine that. If Joe Rogan posts. Oh, that was cool. Imagine if they went on fucking Rogan. Yeah, it'll be crazy. There's a chance. So, um, you know, we got our full days of work and then the cracker milk boys arrive at like, you know, five, six p.m. And then they need us here to like midnight, sometimes one, two a.m. So it's kind of like we're working two full-time jobs this week. And, um, it's our first week back and man, it's been fucking. It's been a last week we had a week off, which was nice. You guys saw us pretty low though last week. Yeah, we're sorry about that last week. But we thought like, you know, better to get an episode out, keep you guys in the loop rather than just go, sorry, no, podcast this week. So I don't know. Did Conor tell you, did Michael tell you what Conor said? What that we came up to a school and he was like, I think you guys should consider not posting that podcast. Yeah, he was like, it was fucking depressing. Oh, maybe with, maybe we cut the second half and just have the Bosley explanation because we don't like if we have cut the second half, we are just downers. We are very, very sad. And that carried on to like, it's yeah, we'll just need to check it and review it. Yeah, maybe we should just put a moment of video at the front to explain. I'm sure it's explained. It's a legend. Yeah, our thinking was we'd prefer to just, you know, update you guys rather than just miss another week because we've missed a couple of weeks this season already. So we're like, fuck it. Let's just, we just won't try and be funny. We'll just do what we're doing and then bang. A few fans are already on to it. They know next week's the Bosley. They've already sent me things. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, sorry about that. But this week we'll try to be funny again. But yeah, it's been, it's been rough. Well, I pretty much started fucking spiraling and just fucking myself up the day the Bosley passed and only it's Tuesday now. I reckon on even Sunday night just was just just getting super smashed or just heaps high and or just, you know, doing anything and everything. But I've, I'm publicly announcing it. I am going sober now and only two occasions that I will not be sober is one is the podcast finale, which, which there are still tickets available to. Actually, I don't know right now because we've probably done the main feed post there is there's not many. So get on to it. So have a look because I have a look in that. No, have a look in the description. If the link is there, that means there are still some tickets. If not, then I'm sorry, we're all sold out. And the other event is obviously Michael's wedding. But yeah, it really got I kind of had like an epiphany on Saturday night and was like, I got a snap out of this because it was fucking and it's hard to know how to deal with it because like, you know, me and Mon went away. I whenever I'd go away or even your box was like a distraction. But then it's like, come home again. And then it's just like worse. Yeah, it's like, it's like you got to keep reminding myself about it, otherwise it just gets worse and worse and worse. And then it's just a big fucking meltdown or you just kind of depressed constantly. Yeah, fuck, that is rough because you're sort of on holiday and then you come back and it's twice as bad. Yeah, because just being at home just reminds me so much of of Bozzie. But anyway, that's let's let's let's move on and fucking sober life begins. And, you know, fuck may have been feeling like absolute shit because of all of the how I've abused my body. But exercise time, we've got to get good at boxing. Yeah, this is day two. Now I'll keep you I'll keep you guys posted on how the sober journey goes because it is it's fucking hard. It's not easy being sober and off everything. So let's smoke some weed. Yeah, well, I did get high. And I must say it's making me very cheery. But I haven't got high for like two weeks. Michael's been throwing mandarins at Crackamelt's crew as they walk into the house. Just pitch this. Sorry, Connor, by the way. You'll be cutting very good, though. But Connor's group of friends that film his videos. They were just coming over one by one from the cars. I go from the other side of the balcony, throw a mandarin and I got within meters of them. Like there was one. Yeah, it's so rude. The guy plays dad. It was so unwelcome. So unwelcome even girl. He stopped in his spot. I actually like made girls turn like the only used like the pieces, one piece of a man. No, not like a whole man. It's OK for girls to just do that. So but yeah, I made them turn and they were like sort of questioning what happened. And then I almost hit the father that plays the dad. So and it made him turn his back at land a meter behind him. One of them is pregnant. Michael threw an Amanda and at a pregnant woman. Michael. Yeah. Which that's the name of this podcast. Michael threw a man in a pregnant woman. It was just a piece. So it's OK. It's not going to kill her. And like it made Connor and Ryan laugh. No, Cooper and Ryan. That's always your your way of justifying your action. No, it is. Let's try to get it. It's like, you know, someone has to suffer in order to make others literally like our lives. We suffer to the greater good to bring happiness to others. But you made me suffer today for a bit of a laugh. Hey, yeah, I came home and he had just drowned my room in water all so he could have a drink. Oh, I thought you meant to take in the pouring. I got lazy with the pouring. So like I saw it was dripping on the carpet. I was like, fuck it. And half is going in the cup, half is going in the carpet. It's just dumb. I did notice some wet patches. Yeah, it's all just ripping apart the water. Yeah. So now Andy threw a vortex at your car upon arrival. I forgot about that. So it's been double bullying. But that's good. I feel like that. And you pretended that you ran into his car on Monday. Got the best prank in a while. Do we film that? That was very good. We did. Cooper did. Oh, really? I told him, I was like, film this, film this, film this. I think I took it pretty well, though. Yeah, you did. Michael got us all. I was like, giving him out of pep talk. I was like, don't worry. You got insurance. Yeah, well, yeah. James was like, it'll just be annoying. What I realized is he parked, he'd done, he'd washed his like bonnet out and he'd parked or his tray and he parked just behind my car. And I was like, he's going to think that it's real. If I hit him because it's like he's moved his car in purpose. How'd you get into the driver's seat so fast? Because you smashed the side of your car, right? What I did out the window. I turned the car on, backed out a bit, put my window down, smashed my door, stopped. It was loud. And then like, got out of the car and came and did the whole scenario. I was fully convinced. I was like, oh, shit. I can help you. So there's a prank you can do on your friends. Just when you're backing out, when you've had heaps of drinks at like a party, just say, I'll be fine. And then get out, hit their car and they'll believe it. Yeah, and he's got to bang the car. And peg mandarins at them when they ride. Pregnant girls. And Ryan, Ryan, Michael threw one at your new favorite toy. So. But it's not going to damage the car. Yeah, I know, but that means the world to him. Sorry, Ryan. I apologize that you. But I did try and make you laugh by throwing that mandarin at the pregnant girl. And Cooper, he threw one at yours too. Yeah, yeah, true. But Cooper, your car's not as cool. So true. Sorry, Cooper. Well, Ryan's got a cooler car than all of us. Yeah, Ryan likes cars. Does he? Yeah, he does. Oh, yeah, he loves cars. I didn't know. But it's still, it's a mandarin. So he would have understood. I reckon in the end, if it did hit him. No, that's his free time sometimes. He'll just work on a car. Man, imagine having that skills. I don't know what the fuck to do. Yeah, neither will I. I was like, pop the bonnet, have a look, and be like, oh, close it. I might be able to watch it a bit. It's so confusing. Yeah, I saw you hosing your tray. Yeah, I did it at his fucking time, though. I'd rather worms. Yeah. But yeah, so that's our life at the moment, guys. Fucking, what was I going to say? Is that everything? Oh, yeah. So did you guys tell buck stories last week? Yeah, I don't know. Because that's what I was going to say. I wish you'd hang the tales of Bethlehem. Oh, man, it was a dark, dark week. But yeah, I think what did happen? You've got a fresher memory. So you can tell. Oh, yeah, I've got some good memories. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I don't think we spoke about it much. It's all a blur. I can't remember the Bosley podcast. Well, I remember one, like, it wasn't massively funny for me. But I slept in this room down this way. And my parents were away, so I had Jet here, which is that little dog that Michael really does. No, I got conned to cut that. No, I did, yeah. You shouldn't have. Because I was like upset that Bosley died, so I sort of just abused. Yeah, he took it out on Jet. And Jet's that cute little cattle dog. Anyway, so Jet was like sleeping in the room until, like, sort of 9 AM. And I could hear voices still. So I just, like, opened the door, just woke up because I was pretty fried as well. And I woke up, let him out of the, let him out of the room to go and have a wee and stuff. He comes back, like, a minute or two later and, like, sort of crawls up next to me in bed because I was just sleeping on the ground in mattress. And I put my hand out, gave him a pat, and I was like, he's fucking, like, soaking wet, eh? Is that, like, driplets all over him? And so, like, so I didn't think much of it. You didn't. I got up, I got up and went out, went out and sort of was, like, just standing there. Michael couldn't see me, and he was talking to Michael Angus who just got up, and Michael was, like, Michael, Michael, it's a secret, but I just pissed on Jet. Oh! And I heard, and I just went, good morning, Michael! I got a teacher finding out, like, you just, like, got in trouble, it was so terrifying. But the reason why I did it is Jet always, he's pissed on me and... When's he fucking pissed on you? When I'm pissing out on the front of the walkway so I'm gonna walk in, so they always walk through my piss. You don't know this, but... Yeah, I see your piss, it doesn't bother me. Anyway, Jet pisses on me all my piss when it's happening and it's gone on me, so he's pissed on me, so therefore I knew he would be cool with me pissing on him. Yeah, it's like a respecting, I suppose. And we've got a bond. Like, he's cool with it. And, like, yeah, I do have a memory of Jaden and Austin just on, I've never seen Austin laugh hard. They pissed themselves. He was fine. Just as he was telling the secret, as soon as I said good morning, they both just lost their minds. I think they've all been up all night. Again, it comes down to worth it for the reward. You justify, someone has to be sacrificed for the greater good. And what else happened? Yeah, because, fuck me, it was just a blur, a fucking drug-filled blur. Yeah, day one was such a long day. Golf. Golf was pretty funny, watching the Henry and... Ryan. Ryan reversed that. Did you see that? You didn't see it. Yeah, I was on that team. So Greg's a member. Very nice golf club. Greg's a member of this golf course. And of course, Michael, in our group, was me, Greg, Henry and Ryan. So, like, some of the loosest dudes you can be with in Henry and Ryan don't, like, play golf or no golf etiquette. And they just, like, you go into these zones you're not allowed to with a golf cut and they just, they stop and you have to reverse out. And so they drive into one of these out-of-bound zones and start reversing out and just reverse, reverse. And then I think Henry had his foot on the accelerator and Ryan was steering and they both just got fucking kerfuffled and just slammed into Greg's cart on, like, the first hole. And Greg was like, like, genuinely, he's like, oh, no, like... I heard the no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, he was so stressed. Yeah. Oh, no, no, you can't do that. But it was a genuine accident from them. But yeah, it was, that was a fucking fun day. I wish I saw that, dude. Man, was Greg genuinely concerned? Yeah, he was because he thought it was an intentional bet that I was like, no, no. Just don't give a fuck about like 5K to repair a golf buggy. Oh, man. Yeah, but no, it was all good. And fuck, it was a fun day. Yeah, the first nine holes was fun, but fuck you, 18. You've got, that's why, because if you can't hit one good shot of short, like, of course you're gonna hate it. Yeah, you didn't even play. I stopped playing after 10th. It was boring. No, you've got to play the shot because you live for the ones that are amazing. Fucking boring. I've gotten three hole in ones at Pitch and Park. I'll give it to you. 18 holes is good when you have nothing to do afterwards. When you've got a whole night to keep going, fuck you. Dude, I could do 36 holes and still bend as hard as I did that night. Yeah, you're a different breed. Yeah, you're not from this planet. But anyway, it was fun, play golf for your bucks, but yeah, definitely just, you pay the price. You pay the toll at the end of the night. At the end of like few days. And then, but yeah, day two was just fucking, just a big fucking fry and piss up, wasn't it? We played soccer, which was fun. Yeah, that was actually, that got out of control. And there was a lot of crying. Yeah. Yeah, well, everyone's crying. Taunting, I was the thing I was looking for. Yo, did we get up each other? Like it got serious. Oh no, we're just getting each other's face. I remember I had a big bulge in my pants and I kept going, yeah, Jaden, yeah, bruh. And I just get every time he missed. I really remember then he scored like three goals. Yeah, actually he did pull through in the end. He won it. Yeah. Yeah, it was fun. We had fun, but then, yeah, we got sad for that. And then back to reality. But yeah, I just remember even just the last sort of five days of the holidays, just kind of drinking and doing drugs just to feel normal. And then that's when you know it's bad. You went away? Yeah, went away. And that was good. Barely had anything there, but still drank a little bit and still smoked it, you know, shit on a weed. But then just came back and then fucking, we went out for dinner. And then it was a footy night and then bloody, yeah. It was drinks every night. Yeah, and just not a smaller manny. That was just, anyway, let's just focus on. New leaf. Exactly. And turning it into a positive and, yeah, not allowing it to destroy our lives. Heavy bench press, six a.m. tomorrow morning. Exactly right. Did you say you've got this new love for Nimbin now that you've... I've always had a love in my mind. But like it's even more now? Yeah, well, me and Mon went to, we stayed in like this fucking amazing, I don't know how Mon finds these places. It's like this wooden tent and it's completely isolated in the hills. And Nimbin was like an hour and 10 minute driveway. So I was like northern New South Wales. I don't even know the name of the place where we were. It's like Kyogle was the closest town, which was like half an hour away. No internet, nothing. Literally to get to our car was like a 20 minute walk over all these fucking hills and shit. So you literally in this wooden tent in the middle of the mountains with just no one around you. It was fucking amazing. But God, it was creepy at night because like Mon had passed out by like 9 p.m. because there's no screens. There's nothing to do. I'd just be out on the deck smoking a joint and just looking at the stars. Dude, that is fucking insane. That sounds good. And then, but then I started hearing like footsteps and shit from the darkness. And man, that just really ruined shit for me. Especially when you had too much. Full of adrenaline. Full of adrenaline. And I was fucking like pinging and like just remember locking the doors. Everything's like glass and shit. So I wanted to get in and someone wanted to get in because it's like all it is is just me and Mon out there. Like I knew I would have had to do the killing if someone attacked us. Cause like you can't call for help. You can't pick up the phone and call the cops. Cause you know that they're like an hour away. Yeah, but you have to kill them. And you're in the one spot with light. So they can see you, but you can't get in. Exactly. So I went inside, turned all the lights off and then just slept with another guy. For your eyes to adjust. Slept with a knife next to the bed. No, that's a fucking terrible way to do it. I was only on one night that happened. That's okay. One night of terror. Holy shit, dude. Probably the owners just having a laugh. But God, it was good like, cause there's no barely on the internet out there either. So I was just so good to, cause you see how much time we spent on screens. Watching shit fucking, oh man. Distracting your brain. But did you see any shooting stars? Yeah, heaps. Oh, that's my favorite of two now. Did you have a little pool? And I, yeah, yeah, there was a little pool. Was that cool? Yeah, yeah, heated too. But you can see why they were obsessed with stars back in the day. Cause by like the third night, you knew the way the stars were gonna move. So I'd come out, the moon would be up here and then in like three hours time, the moon would be down here. So the sky was just constantly moving all night. It was fucking amazing. You were mapping. Yeah, yeah, literally. That was my TV, just staring at the stars and hoping for aliens, but nothing. Oh, so you didn't get any glimmers? I don't think so, no. Okay. I was hoping you'd get so high that you just sort of make your own up. Yeah. Man, that one that me and Luke saw? Yeah, I told you guys about it, didn't I? Oh yeah. After your place? Yeah. Like it may have just been a jet from Riverfire, but it was like four o'clock in the morning. Recently, yeah. Like so, like why the fuck is it flying around at that time? But anyway, we'd like put the windows down where the lights only turn the engine off and listened. Couldn't hear a thing. So it couldn't hear a jet sound, but this thing was fucking flying. It was going so much faster than the plane. No, not that fast. Like let's say this is like the whole sky. It was literally moving this fast. Like that is fucking fast. It's still fast. That is so fast. Did you try film? Did you do any different movements? No, because I was driving and Luke, I think Luke was too drunk to bother filming, but I was like, is that just me looking to this thing? Is that way fast on the plane? And even Luke was like, yeah, that's not fucking right. That's weird. There's three little dots tiny close to each other just going so fast. They love their little triangle formations too. Have you ever seen any for climbers? Yeah, I've seen a few funny things in the sky. And wow. Yeah, I don't know. You're fucking proud. Jared, you never look up. He's always on screen, then drive home and bed. And I was like this. He's never looks up at the ceiling or anything. Even when you're driving, you're like this. Well, yeah, I'm a bit on the screen when I drive. Slightly glancing down a little bit. But, oh, now I forgot what I was going to say. Jared Wright. Yeah, he always was. I've seen his story. Yeah, he's had like seen heaps of sightings. Just these shiny orbs in the sky. Apparently, some people just attract them as well. So maybe he's just one of those. Yeah, well, he's pretty cool. Isn't that what your thing said when we went to Stan thought was to let them into your consciousness? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we did that, that fucking use that app. And that was that was very cool. Yeah, because we all actually tried. Yeah, which was fun. Well, I guess that is a vlog that nothing fucking happened. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's still we did sort of fine. We put our balls on a load of shit. Yeah, yeah, vlog. There's a vlog on the website. But anyway, let's jump into the sponsors. Hey, here we go. Whistled. Yeah. Whistled sigh. From your nose. No, from my throat. That was crazy. Beautiful. Didn't wait that time. A little bit. Spray that in your mouth, Michael. Anyway, manscaped. Go to manscaped. A little bit. Can I have a look at this? Like alcohol. All right, manscaped. Right. If if you they've got heaps of male groom and shit, they got they got the latest ball trimmers and shit. They got a bunch of shit that they wanted us to say. But like I I haven't read the whole email yet. But like it's good, man. They've got newer shit. So it's fucking good, man. I always think I come back around to this business model. Since we get it for 20 percent less, you buy it. You sell it for the normal regular price. You're making that 20 percent. So if you want to run it as a business, you can do that too. Or you can just get there fucking because it's fucking good. You can shave your fucking shower and shave your fucking ears and shit. They got shit you don't even think of yet. You fucking just go to the website and have a look. Manscaped.com. So fully actual 20 for 20 percent off. That's for free. Come in. I don't think anyone knocked at that. Do you know I just saw a shadow? You know the nose trimmer? They're going to get demonetized on that. It looks like fucking. And you know that you said something and you know that. Where is the bottle? It's just behind jams. Let's let's let's put it in a box and put it back. I hate that we're that's not here anymore. Yeah, the room feels emptier. Less kid like what I wonder if we just wrapped it in some newspaper. Yeah, there's a little box over here. Should we wrap it in newspaper for the nose? Trimmy, you can basically use it for your ears to manscaped. Yeah, back to women. Last week, we said not for women just because we're really down and low. So we had to take it out on like someone it's a for client and basically anyway, manscaped.com and also a G one for the last two days. I felt like shit and my body's been going through. I've put my body through hell. And the only thing I had on Monday when it all hit me violently and it became very ill was athletic greens and it helped. OK, and I've had athlete greens today. It's great for your gut. Seventy five bottle nutrients and minerals that you will not get from a fucking diet. OK, your body is is deficient in many things. I let a G one help you with that, man. You feel better and you outsource your health. It's like it's a subscription or rocks up at your front door. You just have some powder, put in a cup and have one a day, man. And use our use our code fully actual. There's a link in the description and you go free travel pain, man. What the hell is crazy? Now you can take it on planes. It's green, too. Can people get those little blender toys from this? I don't know, probably. Yeah, they've got this little thing that you don't even have to stir it. You just put it in and whizz it up. It's foamy yummy. It's very good. And the vitamin D and K drops are unbelievable. Yeah, they are good. It's the tiniest little bottle and it lasts so long. We just need one drop. We just put one drop in a day and it's confirmed when I back when I had all the heart share the start of the year, they did heaps of blood tests. And every single time the doctor was like, yeah, man, your vitamin D levels are fucking through the roof, baby. So fuck off, son. Yeah, also for women, women, women can be healthy, too. If you want to be if they choose to be. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not forcing any woman to do whatever that you didn't want to do. But women get it, get it, women. But women are like, you're not a strong and shit. Like you got like less. I recommend two for the girls. Yeah, might help. Yeah. Maybe we should just cut them. No, no, that's all right. That's all right. You feel as strong as us. No, well, they're not. It's just a fuck. It's just a fuck that they're not as strong. I thought you said, yeah, they're just a fuck. No, it's just a it's just a it's a mathematical fuck that women aren't as strong as men. You pick a random woman from the street and you put a random man in a cage. And guess what happens? Fucked. Have you seen George Mazadel when he gets asked that question? He's like, I could take on like, like an infinity number. He reckons that. Oh, man, that would be rough to watch. Just a thousand every day women. Well, no, he said a man, a man. He reckons a man to noon and as he reckons like a thousand of them, he could still beat them all. Oh, my God. I don't know about that. I disagree. Yeah, but like, you know, but anyway, let's let's steer clear of that. A.G. one. A.G. one. Always for women. Anyway, and of course, we're just kidding. Obviously, women are very, very strong. OK, very strong. Fuck. Exactly. Fucked. It's a fuck. Also, our subscription website, there's a 21 day link in the in the description. We have a competition going at the moment. We're giving away $25,000. We've already given away $15,000 of it. So you potentially could still win, even if you sign up right now, but probably not because you're listening to this in two weeks time. So all the money's gone. So suck shit. If you want to watch videos from us weekly and from Kylovik and Zach, us weekly, then jump on board. Twenty one day free trial link is in the description. You can see if you like the videos. If you like him, you can stay if you don't. You can fuck off before the 21 day free trials ended. Free of charge, man. It's crazy. Then your website is fucking hectic as shit, man. That fucking video we posted that old people's home. That had quite the reaction on the website. Yeah, no wonder. Yeah, it was a tough day. That was intense. We put a smiles on their dials. Who do you think is going to be the first to get dementia here? Like I'm pretty shit sometimes. Why? As if you will, James. Probably. You can never find your keys. Yeah, it's true. I'm think I'm as bad as you are with that. Oh, but neither of us, neither of us as bad as Mon. Mon is like something like I've never seen before. It's not going to be Luke. Luke's memory is unbelievable. You can remember everything for five mil right now. Would you have dementia at 60? Five mil. No, not five mil right now. It's terrifying disease. It'd be like being caught in a bad trip. Seventy. You get age 70 at age 70 and you live to 80. But you lose your marbles properly when you're 78. Give me a better amount. That's not a good enough. 80 and you get three mil. No, I rather not have it. 80 is pretty good. Man, I'd consider the 70. Oh, wow, OK. Because like 100 mil at 60 years old and you get 100 mil right now. So for 28 years or 30, 10 years for Brown, he can have the best story. I'm going to live to 100. So no fucking way. It's a shit trade. Man, you do it. I'm 36. Yeah, 14. So you've got 24 years left for the 100 mil. So you could spend two million. You could spend four mil a year or something surely. That'd be a pretty good life, wouldn't it, for that time? You could spend four mil a year, but you get 24 years of bliss. Imagine what you could do. Imagine how many basketball cards you could buy. You could probably buy a basketball player. He's putting him in your house. Well, he's for a year. All the stickers? You'd have a house just stickers. It would be like six months now. Every wall would be filled with stickers. You'd bring back Blockbuster. You'd bring back VHS. You could video shops. You could buy New Knee. You could buy a whole new knee and a metallic one. Made of ribs, dude. Maybe some hair. So you maybe do it. Come on, man. Please get dementia. Oh yeah, one of us are going to go, aren't we, first? I guess so. Hopefully we're all just old and weird together. It's weird getting old together, because imagine when we're in our 40s, it's going to be so weird. Yeah, it's going to be strange. No, 40s will feel the same, I reckon. Mate, I'm 40 years away and I'm dressing like this. Come on, four years. You're 39 or something, I swear to you. At least, I thought he was 108. I feel pretty good for 108. Yeah, fuck. Okay, 100 mil, 60. Look, it's hard to choose because I probably wouldn't do it. No, I don't think I would either. Yeah, it's a scary disease, because it'd be like being caught in a bad trip permanently, because you'd be so confused constantly. 100 mil, 80, sign me up. Yep, yep, I'd do that. Yeah, okay. Because by then too, you'd think surely they'll have... What if it came on the first day you're 80, like full scale? You don't remember anyone, it's not a decline. It's like a bed screaming. Oh shit. I'd consider just having a bomb timer that goes off one second before you actually turn 80. What if you plan ahead and write everything down? You have to be a round dice to it. Take someone with you, anyone. You get to always family there. It's Christmas. That's why you spend your money on it. He's laughing like that and you just hear... I lose my mind, you lose your life. Oh yes, yes. Yeah. Anyway, let's move on. Do you know that show on Netflix called Wednesday? Oh yeah, Esther and Mon really like that show. That's just completed that. Oh really, is it good? I've never watched it. Oh, I started watching Bear, the one you suggested. Did you like it? Yeah, it was not too bad. Fuck it. Oh dude, it gets better. Very fucking good show. Anyway, we're talking about movies and TV all of a sudden. I did it! All right, done, man. Matt vs. Michael, here we go. Matt vs. Michael, it's Matt vs. Michael, it's Matt vs. Michael today. Matt vs. Michael, it's Matt vs. Michael, it's Matt vs. Michael today. Yay. Come, come, come. Oh, who wants to come? Come have fun. Come have fun. Come have fun today. Bottle of come. Fuck! All right, I don't know what the score is. I'm going to be honest. We didn't do it last week. I think it's 16.50. Yeah, I saw a comment 16.15. But we need to be checked because I don't know if we're... That's frightening. I don't remember seeing that. Well, man, we should put it on a board, wouldn't we? Yeah, we should. It's all right at the bottom of that. We're not very good at telling and remembering things. No, look, let's just say it. It's 16.15 to Michael. I'm going to set an alarm and I'll sort that out tomorrow. 16.15 right now. And this segment, Matt and Michael, go head to head. And the winner of this overall segment will get to keep the contents of this box. Matt's mints to do with whatever they want. And the season finale, where Will and Powerfish will be there as well. It's going to be a wild, wild night. And it's so close. I'm so glad that even now, because you're getting your cock sucked off by Michael at the start. You were getting fucked hard by him, Conn. The fucking first quarter of the season. You were getting bent by him. Fucked hard by him. Remember the first, like, I just made him all really sexual. Yeah, he was kissing sex positions. That's right. That's right. And I'm like, damn you guys. Sex positions on each other. We had to wrestle at one point. We had to wrestle at sex position. One was very good. Yeah, fuck. Dancing. Angry at Matt, because he farted during sex. Yeah, he was pushing on my stomach. Oh, yuck. Oh, yuck. Oh, that is close. Gross image. Have you ever, as you, as the Amber ever farted while you were having sex? Oh, man, I don't know. A strong no. No. OK, that's good. That'd be scary. Yeah, that'd be not on. Yeah. But anyway, so today's competition. Today's competition is... How would you even explain this, James? Yeah, the title's a bit tricky. Can we be archaeologists? So today's competition is who has the better vocabulary, kind of? Oh, no. All right, so this is a primary school... No, you'll see. I told Marty this game. This is a primary school game that James taught me. And so it goes something like this. We'll pick a sentence and we'll say something like adjectives, which is a describing word. So the sentence might be, Michael's cat is... And then Michael will start at the beginning of the alphabet. So letter A. Michael's cat is awesome. And then you have to say, Michael's cat is brave. B. Michael's cat is cold. But the kicker is that it's on beat. So it's like, Michael's cat is awesome. Michael's cat is brave, because otherwise you can't just use a sit there and think. Oh, this is... You've got to be quick. Wow. Yeah, I'm not good at thinking quick. You've got to stop telling yourself that because you block yourself. Get out of your own way, bro. Yeah, it gets depressing. Get out of your own way, bro. Get out of your head and get out there and go and see the world. Think about what your next letter is? I want to see the world. Yeah, panic the whole time until I get there. Right now, he's already thinking of words. Well, it depends who goes first, right? Well, all right, well, Papus is rock. Well, what are we doing? Is that what is going to be? Yeah, let's go to Michael's cat. I like that. All right. So we'll start the beat. And then when Michael chooses to go, you go with the letter A. I just realized there is no word for K. Killer. Mm-hmm. OK, Michael's cat is killer. Like, it's awesome. OK, but that's not really grammically. King can technically be an adjective. Yeah. That's King's shit. OK. That's King's shit, baby. Like that. X is going to be tricky, but that's not the way we get to it. Good luck. All right. OK, it is hard. Holy shit. We just gave you two. You wait. There's way more harder. I've gone so far down the alphabet. I've gone past Z. Well, Michael's cat is king. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, that's awesome, you know. If for some reason we get to Z, we go back to A, but you can't use the same word from the start of the alphabet. We won't get that far. Double trouble. All right, I'll start. Depends who goes first. No, you didn't get to start. All right, paper scissors rock then. Because then whoever ends up at K is fucked. Scissors paper rock. I'll start. You can use the ones that we've already said. Yeah. We get in the rhythm of the beat. Kinky. A kinky cat. Slower. You got to, what are you doing? Get ready, Matt, because once he starts, you don't stop. We're speeding up. Michael's cat is awesome. Michael's cat is brave. Michael's cat's a c***. Michael's cat is dumb. Michael's cat has a coal eye. What? What? Oh, yeah, E is right. Not a descriptive word, technically. Yeah, and you put an A in. So you fucking lost. Man, that got hard real quick. I can't keep up with what comes after each letter. Dude, I thought we were up to F. Oh, man, that's so weird. I was on A. Yeah, I know, I would have been F, but I thought you were at F, and I was like, fuck. So I'm thinking of, fuck's sake. Michael's cat has E-cola. Shut up. Technically. You can say, Michael's cat's a c***. Michael's cat has a coal eye. It's like it's infected. So I just basically said it's infected. He's going to read it. Yeah, I don't know. I think we have to give that one to Matt, but there is another one now. OK, shit. So that was English. This is maths. So now this is a doubling competition. So Michael's start at the number one, and then one double number one is white mat. That's two. And then Michael has to double two, and then you have to double four, and then so on and so forth until you can no longer. And no rush on this one. Yeah, you've got 10 seconds. You just speak, you know? So if you need to do a bit of maths in your head and think for a while, I think that's fine. All right, let's start. 20 minutes. Let's start because Michael's already working it out. All right, so Michael's paper scissors rock to see. He goes, oh, no, you went first, so you go first. So you start with the number one. One, two, four, eight, 16, 32. You got time. Oh, he can't think that high. It's too much. 64. Mm, got it. 128. This is where it gets tricky. Oh, it's hard, dude. I'd give up. I would have given up by now. 252. Oh, close. I know it. It's 256. 256 is correct. OK, so one on all. Big. This is huge. I love this. So we should probably do a separate subject. Yeah. Do you want me to look up countries and they have to say the capital city or something? Yeah, yeah. It's hectic. Yeah, Matt likes geography. Maybe just in the alphabet. Doesn't look good as well. So they will go back to the alphabet and you can either come with a city or a country. Yep. A city or a country or a country. Because once you start cities, it gets out of hand. Well, we'll see. OK. I reckon let's do countries. We can do countries. Let's do countries. All right. So countries, Michael, you start. And go because no thinking. Austria. Bolivia. Colombia. Denmark. England. Can we pause for a second? F. Is England country or is it United Kingdom? Just England's a country. England's fine. F, France. Germany. I was about to say it in a day. Hungry. Ireland. Jamaica. What am I up to? OK. Shit. I thought of one. Kenya. Yeah. What are we up to? OK. L. L. I did it. Lithuania. Can't believe it. Oh. Macedonia. What's after M? Maybe city N. Oh, there's no such thing. Um, N. Nigeria. Oh. Oh, there's no such. There's fucking no countries that start with O. And if there is, it should be terminated. I can't think of one. That's fucked. You got time. I'm sure that there is. Not in my fucking brain. Oh, my God, there's only one. No way, really. Yep. Is it hard? No, not really. OK, there you go. An obvious one. Your five seconds starts in five seconds. I'll give you one hint. I can say. So TEM did say Japan. That was hard. I didn't get it. No, I didn't want to be too nice. OK, and time. Enormous. Oh, man. Oh, man. Yeah, I spelt it like oh, man. Oh, man. Yeah, in Africa. Fuck. That was hard. There you go. All right. Brown steals it. Where's it up? 16 all, potentially. Oh, my God. The Brown has come on back. There's a new boy in town. He's fucking come back. And he's driving me brown. Oh, he wants to hit you so much right now. Hey, put it there. Hey. What's he doing? He's checking the cameras. Why? He needs to get up and walk. Anyway, guys, we're going to have a very hard and fast break and we'll be right back with Matt's Tinder adventures. Yeah. I'd have coffee. And then I was like a four shot coffee. You know, a four shot. You did not have a four shot coffee. Well, four of the little tube thing. What? Oh, my God. Went just now. No, when I was at work. Oh, OK. And then I've had the mother. You have a lot of caffeine. Your way to get off that is to have endones before you go to bed every night. Ooh. Ooh. But I know what you mean. Have endones every night. Yeah. And then you'll fall asleep. Yeah, I just need to come off of everything. Dude, yeah, that sounds like a problem, man. It is. You're addicted to caffeine. Indeed. Matt. And sex. Sex and caffeine. Sex and caffeine in bushes. Imagine if you had caffeine in powder form. Going through bushes. High on caffeine. Caffeine is a new drug of the century. Anyway, Matt's Tinder adventures hit it, Brown. T-I-N-D-O, we have Matt's Tinder. Ha, ha, ha. Matthew Brown has lost control. Now these women will lose their souls. All right. We all know what this segment is. Matt is like in his mid 40s. And he just is just so lonely. Correction, 36. It's really sad to see. So we've gone and helped him and made him a Tinder account. And I do all the hard work for him. All right. And I speak to these women exactly how I know Matt would speak to them. All right. Well, do you want to make an announcement, Matt? I met someone. Oh, my God. So we weren't, yeah, we were just going to let Matt mention this in his time. But Matt has actually been seeing someone, Matt, haven't you? Yeah. And I found them myself. Yeah, he did. What's his name? His name. No, I'm not going to say his name. But, um, but, uh, special, special. So, so you're, you're, yeah. So you're officially off the market. Yes. So what do you want us to do with the Tinder girls? I don't know. So I've spoken to him about it and. I have an idea. And I think we just continue it. I reckon we keep trying to get you sex on the side. Yep. And perhaps we know another man in this house who could pick up some of those ladies potentially. Yeah. And he looks like me a bit. Yeah, I'm going to take him up. So, I mean, we'd have to ask him, but that could be the way to transition out of me and into him. Maybe just use my, I don't want to use my photos, but. But anyway, look, so Matt is, we thought this might become a problem. And he's, you know, I, we're directly responsible for you finding someone. Okay. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. They, I found, I found her on my own. Yeah, I know, I know. And you need to know I will say you gave me the confidence. Yeah, that's what I was going to say before you really come in. Some credit. Yeah, I would look. But you didn't find her. I found her and you gave me the confidence. Yeah, we gave Matt the confidence by throwing him woman after woman after woman. And then Matt got his mojo back and now he's found his future wife. You told us before you were definitely going to marry her and you want her to move in soon? No, I did not say that. But I've met her. Oh yeah, James has met her. Yeah. She's really cool. I will say, yeah, hopefully it works out for the best. Yeah, look, Matt, we're very, very. I mean, it's early, like it's fucking early, but I hope it works out for the best. We're very happy for you, Matt. But give him something though. Tell him something about her. Doesn't have to be her name, but something cool about her. I don't know. She just makes me happy. We're very. Do you hold hands? Yeah, that's cool. They're quite cuddly. I'm going to put that out there. Do you lick her neck in group settings? The most affection. You lick her neck in group settings, cunt. She put her hand aside and lick her neck. Oh, anyway, she's never watched the podcast. And I hope she doesn't watch this one. But she's going to see that. But yeah, she's she's really cool. And yeah, we're just we just communicate well. And it's really she makes me happy. It's good. There you go. Browns, Browns. Browns, Browns. Look, it's very good, Brown. We're very happy for you. But look, out of respect to these women that we've been speaking to on Tinder already, we will continue these conversations until the end of the season. There's only like five episodes left before the finale. So like, let's just finish this segment off. And because it has been a crowd favorite and we will all wish you the best in the future. All right. Anyway, here we go. Matt starts a conversation with this girl. Hmm. I could see us misbehaving together. Your trouble. I can stink it. Is that right? Yeah, I can stink it up your gash flops. Sign me up. I want to taste. Where are you? You're a bit of a rude. I'm not sure if I like it or not. My mouth usually gets me in trouble. But then it gets me out of trouble if you know what I mean. My head spinning around in circles. My vertebrae is coiled up. My mouth usually gets me into trouble too. But then my p**** usually gets me out of trouble. Oh, is that what she said? Or is it the other way around? Well, there's only one way to find out. And that's by meeting up and joining our troublemakers together and see what happens. I want to drive a crane through your house and suck you off on a pile of s*** ill-borns. Whoa. That's the worst thing I've ever heard. And here I thought I was f***ed up. You are the f***ed up. I like it. I am, but I'm not shy about it. It weeds out those that can't handle it. So then when I do find a mate, the f***ing is so intense and dirty that I'm banned from nearly all the churches in Brisbane. I want to feed you like 30 donuts until you're sick. Then I want to catch your sticky donuts sick and smear it on my mother's gravestone. Gluten and fat free, I hope. Whatever you want, my sweet, sweet hag. Let me have a f*** you. You won't regret it. Oh. No! No! Is that right? You might when I break you. I hate her voice. I'm actually soaking to have me snap off in ya. Got any kids? No! Sounds like you want to take a s*** and snap it off in ya. Why do you want to know? I really hope for society's sake you haven't procreated. Yes, s***, don't knock until you've tried it. Seriously. No, I just want to know if you've had kids so I know if you've been stretched or not. Oh. Do you have a tiny s***? Only someone with a micro s*** would ask such a question. Be careful with that one. I have a f***ing girlfriend. You did not say that. Oh, wow. Then why the f*** are you on Tinder, you f*** weird? Oh. And that's an ongoing conversation. She is lovely. I love her. Dude, that was intense. I feel like she's Rhonda's f***ing younger sister. Is she hot? Is she actually hot? I'll show you later. I need a face to that one. We're not commenting on their appearance. I know, but I really want to know where. It's about what's in here, Matt. The words that just came out, the words that have come out, they're just... I need to see what face they came out of. Marty's vocal presentation didn't help. Made her sound pretty rough. But she was pretty rough. She dropped the C-bomb. That's why I thought she was a bit of a... She could use Mansgate. Yeah, maybe. Anyway. Thick, wiry. So, this s*** has... She studies law in her bio. By the way, some of these conversations are very short, and I just started doing Tinder yesterday again, so some of these conversations aren't very long. I didn't do any Tindering during our break. Anyway. So Matt opens with... What law do you do? Maybe for our first date, you could give me some legal advice on something. Oh, dear. What have you done? Lol, I just realised I probably shouldn't have opened with that. You're probably going to think I'm crazy, but I swear it's not as bad as it seems. I poured house paint into a pram while I was drunk. I genuinely thought the pram was empty, and it got like chemical burns and s***. It's totally recovered now, though, thank God. I'm actually a nice guy. I just got a bit looser after a couple of pints. Well, probably closer to 20 pints. No way! That can't be legit. It was on the local news like two months ago. Very embarrassing. I really regret opening up with this story, actually. Yeah, wow. Why would you do that, even if it was empty? I literally thought a homeless woman... It was a homeless woman pushing an empty pram Turns out she was just going for a late night walk because her baby couldn't sleep. The baby was so f***ing loud. It's like, that's why you put the page on it? Because it kept screaming? Oh, and that's it? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Oh, man. It's going to be good. I can't wait to see where that goes. Can you stay really genuinely asking for advice with that situation? Yeah. Alright, so this girl opens a conversation, and I don't know why she says this, but she says, No much about horses? I don't know. I know most things about horses, yeah. Do you have one? I used to when I was a kid, but it broke its ankle in a pothole and Dad had to shoot it like 15 times. Have you got a horse? Jesus Christ, I did want one before I saw that message. That sounds traumatising. Yeah, it was tough to see. The worst part was that its ankle didn't even look broken. Dad just kind of said it wasn't started shooting its body. Why its body? Are you okay? He was drunk and his aim was off, I guess. But yeah, I don't really talk to my dad anymore. It wasn't until I was older that I realised doing that is really fucked up. Especially in front of me. I was only seven years old. But anyway, how's your week been? Yeah, that's pretty fucked up. Seven years old. That's nuts. Shit in the body a bunch of times. Oh, man. My week's been good so far. Just live, laugh, surviving. Yeah, he did some other fucked up shit, too. He used to suck on my neck and would suck so hard my feet would lift off the ground. I'd have huge hickeys at school. The teachers had a meeting about it and shit. Yeah, cool. What do you do for cash? Oh, God, he has issues. Sorry you went through that. I'm just to stay at home mum at the moment. You? I thought that was normal and how you bonded. I thought everyone's dad just did that. But it was just my dad. Brown dad. Brown dad. I work at a pub managing it. It's pretty hectic. Oh, wow. I could imagine. Especially on a hot day. And that's the end of that. That's an ongoing conversation. Oh, man. Fucking hell. Oh. And that's the end of the Tinder to the Adventures this week. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, it was James's birthday on the weekend. Oh, yeah. 36. He fucking cared. Welcome to 36. Thank you. Not 40. I'm 36. God, birthdays. Yeah, they get sadder and sadder, unfortunately. But the best part was the boys bought me fucking golf clubs. So that was sick. And how close did you come to Breaking One? Not that close. I looked at the white handle. I really like it and stuff. Is there a chance in three years one might get broken? I would like to think not. Because once I have something like my putter I've tantrummed on it once. But I never throw it or anything. I hit a ball with it once. Didn't you bend it by hitting it with a ball? Yeah, I hit a ball with it. And I hit the handle and I bent it. But other than that. You just bent it back. So expensive bits of fucking holo. Steal, treat him with respect. No, you don't. Shut up. I stopped playing with my driver. I was just hitting every longshot with a four-iron and they were flying. Holy shit. So much more accurate. Seriously, just thinking about never driving again. Yeah, I've been there before. Anyway, golf and movies can be disgusting. Sorry, guys. Sorry, everyone. I just realised we don't have a prank call idea. Oh man, let's just wing one. I reckon we call... Connor. Let's call Connor. Yeah, we'll prank tell everyone to get out of the house. Say some shit's gone down and we need everyone out. It's an emergency. Does Connor know that you're in here, James? I guess so. We could call and put him on loudspeaker and then we could abuse everyone. And you just know how awkward it is for us. Oh no, I have to stay here tonight. Tomorrow night's coming so crazy. That's the prank call. We'd have to film the reactions. We've got a few questions and then we have to open up that letter and that's a perfect idea. Alright, let's move on to the Q&A. If you want us to answer... Well, we've got a jingle. Play the fucking game. You have all the questions and we have all the answers and we've got lots of dances for you. First question from IMZpeak1. And he says... Michael, which of Marty's split personalities torments you the most? What torments you the most? I know which one. It's not right to touch people. It's not right to touch people. You shouldn't be able to feel safe without someone's... without someone groping you. That's just... That's not a character. That's just Marty. Surely it's that Kiwi guy in the laugh. I can't imagine the Kiwi guy. But in the loud, obnoxious laugh in the shop. That in the shops is rough. It's the sort of nerdy guy that will say a joke and then just laugh so wildly at it. It makes me laugh when that happens. But getting felt up is like rough. You've never liked being touched. I just thought of this when we were younger. Every time Michael would order food at some kind of shop. You'd go up behind him and stick your arms through and do all the gestures for him and it would always end up you just going like this and just f***ing him up in front of the person who's serving him. Oh, yeah. That's good. I'm going to bring that back. I channeled that out. Physical touch. No one's really a fan. I think I've got a photo on this computer of you doing that at the pizza shop. I'll bring it back. Please. Have a shot of that, Matt. You won't have a big swig for us. And then have some maple syrup after. For king and country. More, more. If you want to sleep tonight, finish it. Oh, sh**, we didn't even have that during the box. Yeah, it's survival. That's all right. Take it to the live with us. Hell yeah, all the boys tripped. That's a good idea. Next question is from Geek and Vans198. Oh, yeah. He says a big thing, but basically his question is when you filmed the scariest sports events and you did the tennis one that didn't work out, will that footage ever be released? I'd love to. No, just when he's retired, we'll post it. Yeah, maybe, but he might want to do work with the agency afterwards. That doesn't matter anymore. But yeah, anyway, we'll see. Even if we have to blur him. I've never been hitting the head that hard with the tennis ball. He was on the baseline, we're standing in the net and he can serve well over 200km an hour. And he f*****g got Michael squaring the head. So I was like, it's harder. You can't really hit much harder than that. Dude, I want to watch this. I don't think I've ever seen the footage. I'd love to watch that again. It's so depressing when he... I'm so excited about that episode. But anyway. So yeah, you will, but we'll blur it. Let's actually... That could be an unreleased episode for the Faklainers. Yeah. That was cool. Next question is from MarmiteKrompets2944. Do you boys have a plan of doing some work and videos abroad? We're staying here. He added more. He said, you guys look like your poor s**t who'd never travel out of your own country. Are you scared? I've been all around the world in the wrong places. I made that up, by the way. It's going to save that question turn very quickly. But yeah. No, we definitely want to. We want to go to Bali now. All morning going up to Cairns for a f*****g weekend. Do a pub crawl down and f*****g meep switch card. So yeah, we will. And we do go to Aussie World. We do go to Aussie World. We go to Aussie World. That vlog will be out on the website soon. So we're kind of like branching out. Yeah, we're traveling a bit. We're moving out and about a little bit but not too much yet, hey? Stick to your roots. Where do we speak about going recent today or yesterday? We do New Zealand soon. No, we actually spoke about like a video idea soon. We want to go to Suicide Forest. Yeah, I want to go to Japan. There's a reason why we haven't splashed out and gone on a big trip which we will announce in a few, probably towards the end of the year. But yeah, there's it's coming. And next year, by all means we will be setting around the globe. So yeah, I get it. It is weird that we don't have a leave. It is weird that we don't have a leave. All right, final question is from Matt Crown. Brown. Remember when you made me Matt Crown? I can't remember when. But he made it. What was that from? You made me up as Matt Crown. I think it was a name in a prank call. That's right. He wants to know how you guys came up with the name Fully Actual. My memory of this is you just, I walked through the door and you guys just said, we're going to call it Fully Actual. It's just something that Michael used to say. Yeah, Fully Actual. It's like when you say something for client or anything. It's just Fully Actual. It's Legitness. It's Fully Actual. It's Fully Act. It's to the brim with actuals. It's actually full. It's just how everyone used to say Fully so you add actual with Fully and it's the best. It makes sense. Did you really hit that person? Yeah, Fully Actual. It's the best. I reckon everyone should use it. Try it. Try it now. Say it now. Stand up and yell it to the moon. Call it to the moon. Call it cops. Everyone out there call it cops and scream Fully Actual. Fully Actual. I'm surprised it hasn't been taken because it is like the best thing ever said. You made it up. We haven't even spoken about how we had to call the ambulance because I was like, we called the ambulance recently for Julian. Remember? Have we spoken about that? He pulled his back out. There is a good clip of him just yelling out he's crazy. In the back of an ambulance screaming I'm not crazy. He just had the green whistle. Yeah, dude. As they're closing the door. I'm not crazy. I would have loved to be in that position. Yeah, it was good to watch. Oh man. Very nice. It's fucking so good when that happens to him. He just becomes like this little human play thing frozen against a wall. Oh man. It's amazing how that just takes him out. He was like saying shit to Michael. He was so angry. He was like, if I wasn't like this I would fucking knock you out. He was just so angry at Michael. I was getting a bit touchy-feely. I was just filming him. I was trying to get like good footage thinking this would be so funny. I expect you guys to do it to me. Would we? We're nice, man. Yeah, it just makes me up when I'm not even parallel. It fills you up. He's trying to make you feel better. Yeah, I'm trying to make you feel better, bro. Some people like that. A little bit of a fraction. Yeah, I'm not one of those people. Well, how am I meant to know that? You've never made it clear to me. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! That's how I envisioned like old German women laughing. A hundred percent. Quite German. That's an old German woman laughing, a hundred percent. Yeah. Oh, it was good. Thank you. All right. Oh, I'll just open up that letter. All right, we're going to quickly do the P.O. box where we open the shit that you guys send us live on the podcast. We have no idea what's in here. Probably pews. Rip it in half. Probably pews in here. This is to Matthew. So I'm just going to give it to you, Brown. Is this for me or is that his name? If you want to send a shit to open, send it to take him two, five, six, four, zero, one, eight, Queensland, Australia. And we will open everything live on the podcast. And we've been sent some fucked shit, man. This thing needs to be huge, remember? Yeah, well, it's always like at least like some haves each week. Oh, no. Yes. I was worried we weren't going to get enough pubes. We're getting enough. Don't you fucking worry. How am I going to explain that to? Oh, yeah. Maybe just don't tell. I'm not going to. I'm just going to just let that one play out. Let that one play out. Is she going to be at the finale? She might like it, you know? Yeah. You with hair, it looks good too. Anyway, stop. It might be a bit wispy. Oh, you got pitches. Oh, wow. There's no pubes, unfortunately. Oh, it actually wasn't for you. It actually is a man called Matthew. Wow, he's made Michael fucking ripped his shit. Oh, wow. That's beautiful. That is amazing. Show the people. Michael, can you get into the right camera? Oh, wow. That is nice. It's me and Bozy. And then there's Michael in a pot. And then there's Julian. Look at that neck. Matt Brown is spot on. And there's James with a fucking TV on his chin. Come on, hold that right out of the camera before. Well done, dude. Matthew, thanks, dude. Thank you, dude. That looks really nice. Bozy looks really spot on there. Is that from a photo? Doesn't he look so cool? Yeah, that is. There's a photo of you and Bozy in the car. Maybe we're at the park. Even the German flag in behind us. You're also very realistic, Marty. It's like bang on. That's exactly what you look like. The neck could be a bit longer. But I guess it just ran out of page. All right, here we go. G-Day, G-Day fucks, my name is Matthew. And I'm a massive fan from the USA. I've loved all of your content for years. And I finally worked up the courage to send you boys a gift. I've sent pubes for Matt's shiny head. Oh, where are they? They must still be in the envelope. It's funny how you picked that up. All right, so that's the loveliest. We're missing the pubes. Maybe the customs got. Yeah, maybe it was sealed back up. So, yeah, Marty, maybe the pubes didn't make it, brother. It's so good if customs have your pubes, Matt. Yeah, dude, you're on the fucking watch list now. We probably are, too. They probably think we're asking for it, which we are. For Matt's shiny head, as well as a stupid drawing I did when I was bored. I thought you might find it funny. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I did one. I did one. Finally, I was really hoping you boys could all sign that small photo for me. Where is that? Are we missing stuff? It's under the baby. Yeah, just under its head. No, it's not. I opened that perfectly. Damn it. Dude, they must have taken the photo as well. Oh, what the hell? Yeah, there's no photo here, man. Yeah, Marty, there's some stuff missing from your package and it does look like it's been resealed. Over there somewhere? I opened it here. Damn. It's such a shame. Well, maybe we could sign that letter or is that shit? Oh, here's his address. Yeah, I've got it here as well. Oh, look, they've taped over his address. They really... Yeah, it's very weird. So, yeah, he says, finally, I was hoping you'd sign the small photo for me. It would mean the absolute world to me, but I fully actually, oh, man, I fully actually understand if you can't. What a fucking legend. Oh, wow, I forgets it. That's how you use that. Thanks for the years of laugh and Matthew. If you're able to send the signed photo back, this is my address. Sorry, I don't know how much postage is over there. I'd love to come to the live show, but I know I can't this year with college. Dude, what I'm going to do, yeah. Should we send in Matt? Oh, dude, if you've got Instagram, DM us on Instagram, we'll send you a video. I'll take care of it. Matt, I've got your address and I will sort out a signed photo for you. And I may show up at your door at some point in the future. Ask a favor. And you get a sticker from Matt Heyman, who's a legend who gave us stickers. Another man. Matt to Matt to Matt to Matt. You know what we should do for a segment, I realize. Kill someone? We should get people to just send in their addresses and then we just rock up. Oh my God, that is actually a fucking fun idea. Well, we could set up maybe... What about it's sort of like a new segment where it's called fully actual with a ring one. Or just I'm outside your front door. Or I'm in your house. Yeah, and then we just film. And we'll sing Christmas Carols. It could just be, I guess, like an interaction with them. We'd have to travel a bit. It'd be hard. Sorry. Yeah, we don't want to leave. Yeah, only if you're in prison or the Brisbane area. We don't travel. Bali's going to be our biggest trip ever, OK? We're not going to Bali. We're going to Japan. Then we've got to keep Switch Down the Road and Cairns. Yeah. Sorry. And Blaine. Blaine. Blaine nine. Blaine nine. We're Blaine nine. Which is in Germany. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, sorry, Matty. They've taken your photo on your pubes. But yeah, do what Mat says. And before we forget. No, for fuck's sake. So last week we got, oh, last time. You can't just keep using the same book. I'm not. I haven't used this one yet. If you took notice of me ever. What about your other book? You ripped it. Sorry. Yeah, I did. You're just taking me everything not to rip that page. Yeah, I know. Shit, James is going to rip it. Oh, thank God. All right, so anyway, I'm using my Spider-Man book. My Spider-Man book. And I got this little Spider-Man sticker. And that was from the person who sent the spider, the stickers in. And I'm going to add that one to it now. Why are you talking like that, man? Fuck you. Sorry. And that's the sticker segment. Fuck, man. Anyway, mint collectibles, trim side open recently. Go check them out. You stole that from the post office, man. You stole from the post office. And you sit here and you used it for free. Actually it was another one. Yeah, true. You did buy that one. That one was sent in by a fan. Anyway, let's move on. I have a sour taste in my throat now. Let's have a very hard and fast bong break. And we'll be right back with a prank call. Breathe deep. Your time is there for us to waste. Yes. Picking up your phone was your first mistake. Ha ha ha ha ha. It's prank call time. This is brought to you by my mother. Get the mother down you going. Get the mother down you going. Mother's where mother embasses. If you don't drink mother, then fuck you. Mother, mother, mother. Energy, mother, mother. Energy, energy, energy, energy. Anyway, that's. Is that what we have to say? His segment is brought to you by mother energy drinks. Anyway, here we go. These have all been drinking by James. Your time is there. Very good. That sounded just like it. Yep. We've got a guest again. Yeah. Hey, Garnt. Look, I bought a pack of. JPS Blue 20s. Yesterday off you guys, right? And there's meant to be 20th pack, right? And I'll open it up. And not only when I open it up, I saw a lock. There's a little crack in the plastic and that. And when I opened it, one was missing. So there's only 19 in here. And I'm off talking further on that to prove it to you. But yeah, look, I need like. I need to get like. You bought it. Yes. Yes. I would have bought it. Finished up work about 2 p.m. And it would have stopped him maybe look 230 and that. So like user sold me a dodgy packet, right? And I've got proof because I've got further on that. Yeah, you can. There's no ifs or buts about it, mate. He's got to do something about this. Do you know what I mean? Like you can't be selling like it's a packet of. JPS plutonium. So I'm not sure. I'm not sure. It even says 20s. It even says 20s in it and lock. He's done. You know, that's not right. That's not like I'm. I came in this evening. So I'm not sure. Right. Right. Yeah. But look what I'm saying is your establishment and that lock. He's done dog. Me. One. Smart. Right. And I'll pay more fair money, mate. I'll pay more money. Like I work hard and that shit. I'm fucking working hard all day. Flocking myself out in the sun and that. And you just can't give me shorten that lock. I know it's only one smoking. That's only one city. But it's more like a affix and shit, mate. Like it's all about affix and that. No. Normally the pack comes field. So we are not supposed to open it. Yeah. No, mate. Yeah. Look, I didn't look. I didn't look down. And I know like he's might not have done on purpose and that. But what I'm saying is like maybe one of your staff. Like guys around like flogs on every now and then. No. And try to take my hand. Right. And then try to close it and that because it looks pretty good. Like, but like, I barely noticed it. Right. But if there was like a little, like a little, a little hairline, little fracture through the plastic of it. Right. So someone's going in and flogged a ciggy and I've gone and bloody paid for money for me. JPS blue 20s. And he's, he's flogged me one short. No, actually the pack was filled or not. Mate, look, I don't like look down 100% in that. But I don't think it was properly sealed. No. That's what I'm saying. Maybe one of your staff is flogging. Yeah, I can understand, but normally the cigarette pack, it will be always like sealed. Yeah. Once you open it, you can't, you can't like, fix it. You can't fix the sealing back again. Yeah. Well, I know. I bought my first year of JPS blue 20s. You can, the lady who sold you, you can come down tomorrow and talk to us. Yeah. Yeah. Like, look, make a lock or not. I don't want to come in and be wasting my time and not get more cigarette back. So if he's good luck, just fix me up. I'll show you the file that I got, what? Or open the pack up straight away. One gone. Fluff, fluff in the air. Gone. I could tell it was gone because like, it wasn't all neat in that lock. It is usually in my packet of JPS blue 20s. And there wasn't anyone there. Okay. Tomorrow you can come down and she will check the camera and she can tell you what happened and all that stuff. Yeah. Well, what if she checks the cameras and sees me just walking out with me pack? Because I didn't know until I got home in that. So it's lock. You know what I mean? Of course, looking at the camera is going to do. You just need to make sure I get calm and say, I don't want to come down and waste more and more time. Come down tomorrow, right? And then you say, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know what I mean? Lock. You don't want to come down and promise me. You need to promise me, bro. I can't do anything because I'm not the person who sold you the cigarette pack. Well, you need to have a word to your boss or something because someone's flogged, smacks out these cigarettes. No, I can't. And I reckon it's you. I can't get my bag. I reckon it's you, mate. You can. Oh, oh, oh. I'm coming. Fuck. Oh, I've got a gun. Oh. Damn it. That's okay. Look, I enjoyed the, I enjoyed it. So have a station. The tenants really didn't have the time. Maybe not. Should we go down there and bash him? Where's more smoke? Where's more smoke? We just got a mouthful of tobacco. One seat. Oh, shit. Four of us rock up. Dressed like this. I don't know what he thought when my voice changed all the time. Big good old blue 20s. Yeah. Sorry. Not the best prank call, but you know what? We are still the best. Best. Best. Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe. Use a five star review on Spotify. It helps us massively and fucking where? The best. Where? The best. Where? Best. So. Where? Where? The best. Fuck me. Fuck me. You can't.