 good morning welcome back to why in the morning I promise you that you have discussion of the day my name is Sankara Kaisu and today we are going to talk about tabia, tabia, tabia, tabia on a woman, a tabia, yes we are going to talk on the tabias and the characters or them what do you call tabia in English behavior, yes behaviors that men that ladies need men to live this year like they have started the first month is gone the second month is gone and they are still going on with it so girls have called the conference and said we are going to summon men to stop this with immediate effect and they are going to talk like politicians without fear of contradiction I am not alone here I am with the queens the queens were going to represent the cultural fraternity on things that they want men to live and they are not new there are people who have been here before and there are people who have authority one is called Yubelin and one is called Nyeribo oh you are not proud of your African name oh I am so introduce yourself say anything everything about yourself hi guys my name is Brenda Nyeribo I feel welcome back here and I hope you guys enjoy seeing me here again so let's see how the topic of today is going to go your social media handle my social media handle is at the real brand Nyeribo on Instagram and life of Nef on YouTube oh you are the lady who had life of Nef as life of Nef I'm fine it's been one day since I saw you yeah you missed me yeah yeah I'm good how is the court the court is good yeah it's called out there it's called in there yeah yeah remind me of social media handles uh my instagram handle is diveline dear my twitter is the same and also my facebook accounts yes welcome both of you once again to find the morning and especially WCW thank you I got a matching order from the ladies fraternity now that I host this that there are things that men are still doing that they need to live for 2021 it's like we had agreed that they have Zimebaki 2021 but they're still happening so it's like a salmon easy easy there are a number of things uh we posted asking on your social media handles especially on facebook to liuliza it's it's we had to talk about them we are coming to read these comments 15 minutes to the end of one in the morning that is 15 minutes to 10 with Juan and only Michelle but now let's talk about these things you're talking about we will get back to them when the right time comes okay so I discussed with the with a lot of ladies I have lots of lady friends and I asked them what do you think guys should stop this year I feel like the things that we've had enough of one of the things that most ladies spoke about was chores be it your dating or you're in a marriage when you when you guys are together don't expect a girl to do all the house chores alone it's not written anywhere that it's the girl's job okay maybe the older people have told us that and taught us that but the world has changed like people are both hustling you're you're together in a relationship you're all going out to work and coming back late tired all of you need to be able to chip in when it comes to house chores that's their opinion and so Brenda you are saying that men should stop lying on sofa as you wash dishes yeah do you think what do you what exactly do you want men to do we we as women we love men to help with house chores in the sense that people we both come out from work we we are both tired we are or whatever reason people get tired for many reasons yeah so if one is going to do laundry at least bring yourself and wash the dishes or something and then when she's done she can come and cook you know find clean dishes and cook see quality it's it's and and there's so much to be done in the house and it's I hope that we'll also come as possibilities that you'll also be contributing money not half of money in this relationship if I'm doing half of the course you'll also be doing contributing half of the money I feel like most women don't have a problem with it I feel like most women don't have a problem with doing that especially come out they are making money I think it is the same yeah we feel like we need some help around the house men should stop tweeting every time browsing their phones when their girlfriends are doing the job if I'm preparing a meal chop the onions let me chop the tomatoes no no no no I think it is that error that we can share the duties we can share chores because you will expect me at the end of the day or at the end of the month to pay water bills me if I was married or something you see now but for you you will pay the rent and other things yes no not like that okay if we put it like that some people might feel like to know engilia but like it's idea it's not about actually you must do it you just it's nice when you help someone out you know there's that thought behind it that makes it even the relationship becomes easier to handle because it's romantic and it's romantic to help with the yeah this person really cares about me you know and if your woman is happy you'll be happy okay add one add one then we come to the plane any other thing because you told me you talked to people they gave you a number of points okay so another thing that a lot of us women feel like it should stop this year and going onwards is body shaming because and this is done a lot by both genders but men men's opinions actually really affects women more than fellow women's opinions right very true so i feel like when men start seeing at the girls with bigger us are more attractive or girls with bigger boobs are more attractive or vice versa you know you make a woman feel like i need to do more on my body to be able to look attractive you see most girls out there even on social media they they take pills they go for surgeries they do bizarre things on their bodies just to be able to reach that society standard of beauty which is honestly speaking it's nonexistent everybody has their own taste you might like me and and someone else won't like me or you might not like me and many other people will like me you know it's not a must that you please everyone that's that's what i mean and i feel like guys should keep their negative opinions to themselves when it comes to women's bodies because everyone is beautiful in their own way are you saying in your ribo that men should stop talking about their tastes when i say i love a woman of this shape of this texture of this color of this complexion is it is it and you are not that is that what you call bodyshaming no bodyshaming is when you it's okay to have tastes and preference but don't come and start telling a lady maybe that you've shown interest in or who is interested in you ati you know me i can't date you anymore because i feel like you're not fat you're not big enough or you're too or you're too big you know sometimes even it's big bbw's who are bodyshamed only somebody that be huge yeah so you shouldn't that inhuman even you're emotionally attacking the person because some of these things maybe to them they didn't realize they they or you're trying to make someone to be fit don't sell them in a way that will make them feel like they are being bullied or something you remember the era of cyberbullying don't do it in such a negative way just keep your opinion about who your taste is to yourself if you're telling someone who's interested in you yeah or you go for your taste and you want to change it yes yeah or you maybe you're telling her that you're not what i want and you've taken her yeah that's i get that point your opinion about that so my opinion is the same i think men should change on that this year yeah i shot so many men do it yes yeah a lot like men are telling you that you're not having enough books it's so serious it's even they normally post such things on whatsapp whatsapp is the easiest social media handle to find people so when you see your friends posting such things and you feel like oh i'm too fat or i'm too thin i don't yeah you you wait like i'm not good at and then you are slim not there and i post on social media that i don't like slim ladies it's not even about even the person who's dating you only when you see most of the guys posting those memes and and you're there opposite of what they are saying they like you will be affected so i feel like they should be mindful of what they say or post out there because a lot of ladies are doing things i think yes so that is a very sensitive thing to women i think when you're bullied you when you say i'm not pretty enough or i'm not what enough i think it is time don't even say it out loud you can keep that thought to yourself you can appreciate someone for being beautiful but don't rub it on the face on another person you see now it will make things easy it is okay to tell someone hey you really look beautiful or you are beautiful but because the other friend is there and you don't have to tell where Kaivizuri you don't have to say it out loud you could have just stopped up you'll you really look beautiful i've i've seen where men do it yes like um no i have another thing men should stop doing oh okay okay my first thing is about thoughts about mkanga yes or these people who are online especially men they are really touchy touchy extra touchy they want to drag you maybe you are in a in a very small top that is not even covering your body enough then they are touching you all over where kujja i think that is i really hate that behavior i think it is time men stop doing that especially touts if you're watching there and you are going to pass by and you're using a public vehicle please sensitize these people on such things we women don't like that talk to us nicely tell us this is the price you see it will be much easier than touching me you know i i really think that is something men should stop doing there was a video we played here with michelle in the morning of mkanga what is that uh to me and we don't even like to oh we don't like to be touched by people we don't even know stranger like it is okay for my boyfriend to hold my hand but who are you to hold my hand you see now it comes so bad yes in public i don't think it's only you but you story about mkanga so most of them are men you can't find women doing that you never find very few no you can't find women doing that they respect someone's face yes yes okay i'm out she she caught a stage no one i'm going to win here for gary see now yeah yeah yeah they respect the space by the way respect and they are nice have you seen aggressive female mkangas they can beat a whole but they respect someone's face they tell you will you come kindly in your very ninder nihil price let me play a video the video one yes video is a point of that yes so there's this thing about dressing to impress yes women want men to imagine the energy they're putting to pull her everyone wants them on on their side they want her she's physically being harmed there i'm so sure that woman felt so disrespected and probably after your confidence tena but i just feel know so i feel like that is something it really needs to be sensitized and men should stop doing it i feel you i feel you there's something you are adding when you are playing the video yeah on that point uh i'm just relating it to your point men should know that we don't dress to impress them we dress because we feel happy with how we look and i feel like that's a point that has many women have tried to speak about over the years but guys don't believe that thing is we don't do it for men we don't we do it for ourselves you see when you feel good you you dress good you feel good you smell fresh you will have confidence i show all of you but i feel like i can show all of you are dressing not to be seen unless a girl has an agenda like maybe to pass to their man or do you think most of the time you have this agenda no it is the exact opposite of what you're saying in fact most of the time we don't dress to impress you but you know sometimes we dress to impress you yeah like if you're going for a date yeah but on a normal day i'm working in here okay for example her she's in a short dress you can't say she's here to impress you can you so yes she looks good maybe she feels confident about it you see and your time will come maybe when you take your girl out she will dress to impress you maybe you like her in this she will dress like that yeah so you are insinuating that men should stop thinking that when you dress you dress for them yeah you know uh that's why such cases like the woman not for a young lady you go to panda matatu and then guys are fighting for you because you look nice yes sometimes they even drag you to a vehicle you don't go to that place to their destination but you bring me here because they drag you to the car and then they start telling you look at your power so to learn to spend time now what is that they've wasted your time they've wasted your energy and now you're in a car going to a different destination imagine what girls go through yeah they said lady also telling me yeah that is so embarrassing embarrassing yes see i think at my post no what is that honestly that is why you men will be slapped by women because you're disrespecting them michelle is looking at me like she wants to jump here i'm slapping no it's not right you know you can't just bring your body towards me yeah because i look good or i smell nice but they women slap men for such behaviors and they can really get mad it's not smooth then yes it's but you know i feel like you should start by being a gentleman try your conversation if you like the girl yes in a respectful in a respectable manner but don't start being oh at the kiasi kiasi i want to confirm something where you stay right now at night where where i stay here in Nairobi no no okay see oh so you do this long travels when you go home yeah have you ever done them at night yeah have you ever sat near a man yeah i always sit near men yes you that long journey wait eight hours journey yes and i lose my peace yeah and actually there was a time that i even almost got ripped it's my dad who came to my rescue because yeah it's in the evening the driver starts saying that he the car has broken down and there's there are no vehicles it's raining and then uh you know people got out the ones with kids and everything so what we keep do you know we were left in the vehicle two girls and the driver and his conductor then this guy starts being weird and getting all touchy the conductor the driver and the conductor was also disturbing the other girl so it's at night it's raining uh people have left we're waiting for more motorbikes to come and get us and then these guys are getting all touchy on the road and there's no one around me i got peace me had to call me dad so my dad had to come all the way to where we were to make sure that i was okay i know that's mad yeah that's bad that's bad you could have taken the dangerous i guess i wanted to but i hear it's a common thing so that is something mentioned stop doing yeah it's very common in our route yes but it's not common in our route but if it is uh like uh he approached you the way you live and feel safe yes okay they are going to to kissy and then the relationship started okay it was the bus that's as precise so i was like at the window then there's them cutting cutting then and it this year this year so some ladies are encouraging it i think but now let's not take too much time on that yeah you have uh the other point about being touched yeah and by the way being touched is not all just about what i think they are meant yeah even outside even in their cars in the clubs yes interviews i think that is something that cuts across every field so they are supposed to change on that we had a video of and michelle liked it so must tell you stop this year stop stop it stop it yeah give me a scamper so there is something that has been disturbing me a lot but it is not necessarily affecting women but i feel men should stop drinking and driving oh yeah it is not affecting us women personally the many cases that are happening yes so many men are drinking and driving so many cases have been here about men were getting in accidents very young people who could have avoided in this era we have ubers we have friends we have so many people to take care of us even we are drunk when we are drunk on when people are drunk they can even sleep on those places now i feel like men should stop drinking and driving oh yeah one of our cases very high is a cool but accidents now i'm a lewa so i know it is not affecting us women but it is something they need to know that they should stop doing it enough of having all these cases at once many several times it's very true the blame that it's rare to find cases where there's accident on a car being driven by lady yeah and that's why those who sell cars second and most of them they say it's it was being driven by lady because it's taken that you guys are gentle like you are not gentle drivers you are gentle drivers you don't drive you don't drink drive yes if you must drink you drink milk no that's why guys say women don't know how to do yeah but it is okay for women to drink too but you know they take care of themselves why can't men be that vulnerable you have a nice german machine you have to drive it when you are high or something to prove something to people i think that is some weird thing people have i think just take care of yourself it is your life when you you lose your life many people are going to feel the loss what of drinking in general you think men are just drunkards you think most men are drunkards there is no problem with drinking oh according to you yes according to me do you have problem with men drinking too much too much is a problem too much it depends with what is too much and what the guy can handle but i don't have an issue with men drinking okay that's their own personal yes i do i bring my what people are telling me no i'm not done with my points i have made me oh my god so so uh there's this other point that i received i don't know if i should do her shout out but it was a very thoughtful point this one goes to angie angie said angie is my friend yes angie said that men should remember their parents and guardians in this sense when you're busy spending on ladies out there and trying to show girls that you've got it all and everything remember your mom back at home do nice things for your mom or your auntie whoever raised you because these are the people who are our red and dyes out there and that point doesn't seem like something so serious but when you think about it honestly people don't remember their parents when it comes to the fun part of life did you say that was originated by angie yeah that is very a good point and it's it's rare that a lady can test that point because most of the time there's contention between daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law i don't know why you guys always fight but now this is a lady who is caring for mother-in-law yeah yeah it looks nice the point is you can't okay even if you're trying to impress a woman that you like you can't expect let me put myself in her shoes you can't expect me to trust that you'll be always good towards me if you're not good to your mom yeah there's always issues between daughters-in-laws and mother-in-laws but when a girl sees that you really do take care of your mother that that kind of makes her feel like you you're going to do the same for her and your kids if you guys develop a family yeah i want to add on that i think what she says is um when for example a man wants to build a house for his father remember the the wife's parents too like if there is an upkeep you always send to the father to the guy's parents remember the girl's parents as well why don't you remember your parents why are you why are you forcing me to remember your parents no we are not forcing we are not forcing we are just saying you we can do it watch a sequel to the one-sided you also remember my parents yes of course you've seen Brenda saying that i should remember my parents he's not saying that the ladies should remember man's parents why why are you saying that the moms should also remember the ladies parents when they also have parents too to take care of the ladies parents i think it should be mutual it should be an understanding that uh cc me what also say when you come to when you get married you are one now you have four parents as one now you need to provide for all them all of them you you will not be like i'm just going to provide for those who brought me up you see you've come as one so you need to provide as one to all of them because they brought up you all and i felt like me at least maybe most of us women take a shower at least twice in a day in the morning and in the evening so that we can feel like ladies if your man does not shower you it's your responsibility yes it's yeah as you know but somebody accused man here we'll read it we can't say it's the boyfriend peke that's so cute i think most women don't shower no me me no most men do shower but then there are those who don't because a guy can pass you oh men also should give women money it's let me let me elaborate yes yeah one of them watch a questing because i'm not saying that you because women want girlfriend because of the allowance thing i'm just saying men should have the mentality of a provider yes that's how it is you do independent whatever you're supposed to have the mentality of i should be able to provide that's what gives you the energy to hustle the energy to work hard because you know you're supposed to provide for maybe your parents your siblings your girlfriend or your wife you know if you have that mentality so it's a dangerous as it is come in the picture also mentioned stop spending so much on their voice clubs and forgetting that we are here we don't want to control your money but spend on us the same way you spend on boys club and we will not complain yes yes the same way you go by drinks for 50,000 per night no no check it check it right yes so i have a question a man goes out with boys at night they spend a lot of 100,000 on drinks to somewhere where it will be check 50,000 as a man as my man how is that even possible i just want you to have better plans for what and you know that money yeah there's this saying among women uh we see a man's if your woman looks shagalabad don't be laughing among the women here because you're not doing yes you have money yes you go for fun things you go for a nice car but your girl looks like shit let's see the flip side of that can you also spend on your man yes very well okay i'll splash that let me tell you see women women wait to see how is he going to do it if you if you show a girl that you're you're generous yes she will be generous yeah but then if you are just there always crying oh i don't know do you have yeah don't borrow women money yes borrow your friends borrow your parents but don't go to borrow your girlfriend money let her be the last option yeah the last one has turned it's back against you now you can come and borrow money but don't don't put our money on you is about dealing and faithfulness things like that one is people have spoken about it i know so many i think that it's going on yes i had that we had this is it possible even to stop i i can't comment on that it's not it's not i feel like uh we had another segment here and all men were unfaithful you will be surprised the man out here said that imagine the plane imagine let me tell you brand the plane immediately after the show asked the man with whom you are i think it was last monday directly maybe you can i'm sorry he said yes oh my god yeah very gentle yeah so the plane went out here with a conclusion that all men have sighted 90 percent of men you have someone else apart from your girlfriends please if you're married and you're thinking about having a side chick stop yes okay but the other if but now brand a brand a here brand and you are saying that it is not easy to stop but you can stop especially if you're married i don't see an excuse of having another person unless you bring her to the house i think some cultures are appreciate or accept polygamers marriages bring the woman at home stop cheating can you have your co-wife no but cultures i said culture so your culture from my culture it doesn't allow polygamers from your culture probably you allow polygamers so i was saying if your culture allows it embrace it but if your culture does not just just stop cheating especially if you're married that thing sucks but if you're come on in here i'm just one and i'm not let me not find you okay but you know you know the other side of this story is that those type side chicks men have are women they are ladies the same ladies who don't want men to have side chicks allow men allow married men would allow or seduce their friends boyfriends yeah so is it not that the thing the common thing that women are their own enemies they are so okay depending on what the situation is we can say women are their own enemies but when we look at we already have snakes among us then let's look at the problem me i feel like you see you've spoken about cultures allowing polygamers marriages so in kenya it's a law that was passed that a man can have as many wives as he wants you saw that yeah and i was so much against it but right now i gave up this is the reason because you see those men who cheat those married men the men in relationships or sometimes a girl may know or may not know and she's getting together with the man yes and let's assume the girl knows uh i wanted to see that's the reason i was saying it might be so hard to stop the cheating thing that has been going on because because you can't control adults and what they want to do in the long run you're you don't want to decide will you stay with this person who doesn't want to be in such a situation and just in case someone is out there and they want me just know i don't like that you'd rather come and tell me openly hi diveline i feel like um i don't know what what is an excuse for cheating there's no excuse for cheating see now why would you cheat exactly people people are grown you can't control their own choices you know and i feel like um if i cheated on you if i was your man and i cheated on you and then you it will be up to you to decide if you're going to forgive me and let us and give us a chance of which doing that most likely i'll cheat on you again don't you think we are encouraging them to cheat yeah so you as an individual you're supposed to know do i will i condone this or but you've given up yeah she's given up she's saying that's what men are i'm giving up because i'm like they are not like you said not all men cheat you know so if i meet one who cheated on me i'd let him go because oh yes because he's he's that way i know that you will ultimately get one who will never cheat no i don't know if i would get one who would never cheat but i'd rather take my chances than stay in a relationship where someone is cheating and there's the risk of somebody told me that the devil invented two commandments above the term commandment commandment number 11 says uh they shall not be caught so people are doing like they will see that they do but they are not caught like in your case your man will really try not to be caught yeah commandment number 12 says if you are caught deny deny deny so people are really denying uh that wasn't me yeah but let us finish with our time is really up with the very serious thing here violence men are still violent in 2022 some are still slapping their girlfriends or doing the worst that you guys watch in the news talk to men about violence being violent on their partners let's start with your brand uh i've ever been in a violent relationship i wasn't beaten but i used to be strangled and i'm an aggressive girl like you can't just tell me to do something knock back yeah i thought that was my issue and still is mimi was a baby akili so the guy didn't like someone who talks back i guess i don't know so the quickest way up to yama is shami was that's my point if you're in a violent relationship get out of it first you'll deal if you want to help the person help him out of the relationship you have talked to the lady now talk to them and the moment you start getting physically you start engaging with me physically like that you lose my respect on the spot because first of all i'll see you a week that's why you're you're picking on someone smaller than you and number two i'll feel like you have insecurity issues number three i'll feel like your mama didn't raise you right yeah because you're attacking a woman number four i'll feel like your parents should have taught you more it's not just your mom even your dad because you blame the man your insecurity issues your mother since you respect your mother but you're busy attacking other women out there and for your father didn't teach you that you're supposed to respect women you're not supposed to be tell me something about this for me i'll feel like all wrapped it in one basket that sounds so uncivilized like we are past beating our women if you don't agree on issues you can talk out you can divorce you can there's so many options to get out of that situation you beat me just because i went out to look for money you're not comfortable with me going to look for money then provide for all my needs you see or you beat me because i don't know i did what i think that sounds so uncivilized honestly we you can get away out yes yes so women sit down your men and if they become more violent get out file for divorce you can really get the point is home 20 seconds closing remarks 20 seconds closing remark we call it off so guys i hope you've listened to what we've discussed today and i hope that it impacts your lives differently and in a more positive way leave a comment below and make sure you write if you want to see me here again okay