 Hello my beautiful internet friends and welcome back. What you are about to see is the five days that I was in the hospital post amputation. We're gonna start with the moment that I was waking up from amputation all the way through to the moment that they took a drain out of my leg without any anesthetic, which was not any fun. And the moment that I walked for the first time and coming back home and so I documented all those moments. I wanted to put them together kind of in one cohesive video for you guys. I wasn't able to release videos when I was in the hospital because it was really intense and things were a lot harder than expected, but I did take footage. And so this is the five days that I was in the hospital compiled together that entire journey and everything that happened without further ado, let's begin. And this is actually the moment that I was waking up from anesthesia. How do you feel? Emotional. Very tired. White. Thoughts? Purple is better. Yes, it is better. We'll let it slide. It's the end of day two. It's kind of like working out at the gym the second day was so much worse than the first. I finally got under control a few minutes ago. It's been like three hours of why did they have to amputate my leg again? It feels a lot better now. I think day three will be a lot better. Hey guys, this is waking up on day three. Pain last night was horrible, but they finally got things more even though. I guess I'll be here for at least another day or two, so they're gonna change the cast before I leave, I guess. So that's promising. We are slowly approaching the end of day three. I guess tomorrow morning is the cast change. They were gonna take the epidural out, like my nurse was, until she talked to the doctors and they were like, nope, nope. She needs to have that in for tomorrow along with lots of additional pain meds because I guess they're changing the cast, but they have to like move it around a lot and like touch things and I guess that's pretty bad. Or just like painful, so it'll be interesting. Pain has been much better under control today. They like readjusted the epidural and I've just been sleeping a lot. They've got me in a good cocktail of hospital drugs, but everyone here is great. It's been really nice. I'm worried about coming off of like the epidural and stuff because it's like it's more painful than the first time from what I remember, but I'm sure it will be a-okay. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's not always okay. Some people just want to watch the world- Sometimes things go horribly wrong. Like when they put an epidural on the wrong side. Yeah. They finally got the epidural working right because it was only working on one side of my body, which was the left side, which is not the side that needs pain relief, which is such a bummer, but unfortunately things happen. So they were finally able to crack that this morning and all I really need to do now is sleep and get up and face-face what taking off this cast looks like just a few days after surgery, but I've never had an epidural before and they did that because I had so much pain waking up from surgery last time. It was great because it wasn't nearly as painful, but I can't move. Like this is the most I can do with my foot. I can move my toes, which is a new development. I can like wiggle my leg back and forth. I literally can't lift it. Like this is me trying. As hard as I can to get it off the ground. This one, no big deal. I can lift because the good side is so fried from the epidural and so I've literally stayed in bed. I've laid exactly like this for the past three days and honestly, it's been a really good exercise and pacing myself and taking things slowly and not pushing myself because there's literally nothing I can do. Like I can't even get up to go to the bathroom. Like I literally am stuck here until they take it out. And I've never been in this kind of situation before and I've tried to just kind of let go and ease into it and know that people are here to help and take care of me and let go of some of that crazy stubborn independence that tends to get in the way. Brian's been sleeping up with me here every day. He sleeps on the couch. Right over there. Yeah, I'm really hopeful I'll be able to get home soon. I think it'll be a rough transition. Like the first time I saw my amputation when I took the cast off after two weeks, it was weird. Like it wasn't bad. It was weird. Now that I like know the emotional impact of what it's like to lose a part of your body, I'm kind of scared to see what it looks like. Now that I've lost more of it, I think it'll just be a little bit to adjust to and it is definitely for the better. We just got the cast off, which was a crap show itself. Now I'm just waiting for my prosthesis to come up and actually cast it because there was massive miscommunication from yesterday to today and hopefully I should be getting off the epidural here shortly and maybe even going home today now. It was supposed to be Sunday, but now might be Friday. It's very confusing, but in any case, I hope I get to go home soon. There was a whole mix up this morning about getting a drain taken out of my leg and getting the cast changed, which would be uncomfortable. And I was specifically told that I would need to like be dozed up on meds and keep the epidural in for that to happen because it was going to really hurt. So it's 6.15 in the morning, doctors burst in here and they're like, all right, let's do this. And I'm like, uh, aren't we supposed to like have, wasn't I supposed to be given something for this? They literally said we don't have time because we have to get surgery and by the time nurses could get here with meds, it'd be too late. So we just need to do this. So I was like, well, fuck it. Like, okay, I guess we're doing this. And they literally pulled a drain out of my leg, like literally out of my skin with zero anesthetic, zero anything. So that was fun. But then when we expressed frustration and they also like changed the timelines up a lot. One of the, one of the doctors came back, one of the PAs came back and literally told me and probably too drugged up to remember anything. So I must have just remembered what they said incorrectly and thank God Brian was here because he was like, no, I was actually right here when you guys told her that he tried to write it off on me just being like nuts or like, not too many meds or whatever. And that's such crap that happens all the time. Like that has been my experience in hospitals. Doctors don't listen. And then the guy went on to be like, well, you shouldn't listen to anyone's team, but ours and ours never told you anything other than, you know, this one thing. And yeah, actually, actually your team pulled to something different specifically because we heard it from them. Like the level of arrogance is really frustrating. Aside from this morning, this has been a great hospital experience. The nurses here are outstanding. They should be given all the money. But I hate the arrogance that comes along with being part of a doctor's team or a doctor. Like you don't get to treat people like crap just because you feel like you know more than they do. And he was trying to explain to me how like, oh, well, you shouldn't get your hopes set on a day just because like, that's when they said you were going to go home. And I was like, dude, I've been through this almost 15 times now. Like, I know how this works. And if you knew anything about my file, you'd understand that I know how this works. Like this isn't my first rodeo. And yeah, I understand that I'm just looking for some solid information. I'm just looking so that every time I talk to someone new, the story doesn't change. Like no hospital stay would be complete without watching the office. I've been existing almost entirely off of these graham crackers. I haven't had much of an appetite. So I've eaten like six of these packets in the last couple of days. They're good for making sure I don't get nauseous with the meds I'm on. Also major upside to being in the hospital, you get these sweet mugs that have, you know, fancy straws, like little sippy cups for kids, but for adults. Today is day, I don't even know what day it is or what time it is. I think it's day four, post amputation round two. I'm sitting up in a chair for the first time in days. That's amazing. Had a few really bad pain days, but it's okay right now. And the thing in my back that makes me numb that I can't even think the name of the epidural is hopefully coming out tonight or tomorrow morning as tolerated. And I should be able to go home and laying down on my couch in the dark and just being able to sleep for hours because they wake you up like every two hours to run more tests or to, you know, give you something or whatever. So I know about you guys, but I personally find that I have zero appetite when I'm on all the drugs in the hospital. So everyone's making me eat food, terrible people that they are, like my lovely husband and family and nurses. So they just took the epidural out about two hours ago, like all the way. And wow, it was actually really doing something. It literally feels like my leg has been chopped off. I don't know if I'm gonna be, I can't go home like this. So we're trying different medications and playing around with that and hoping that'll work. But yeah, it feels, it feels bad. Oh my god. Where is your leg? Oh god, did they take it? Here it is. The other one? Oh my god. You're cute. It feels particularly amazing next to scrubs for three days, four days. I'm supposed to go home today, but I'm also not supposed to go home today. So we don't know what's happening. Do you know what's happening? I have no idea what's happening. No one has any idea what's happening. But I don't work here. Oh, we don't work here. And then I have no problem taking it off because you're not actually hooked up to any extra oxygen right now. It's just a CO2 monitor. Yeah, but it all looks really good. You don't sweat at all. You have good color. Okay, good. I just like to make sure to show you that. I just walked around the hallway for the first time unassisted with just my crutches. It's really cool to be able to do all by myself. I'm not sure if you can see the full extent of it, but my eyes are bloodshot to hell. I don't know if that's because of all the medications or a lack of any real sleep, but damn. Hello. Hi, Joe. How are you? Great camera fan. What are we doing today? I have weird allergies to things and surgeries and adhesives. What are you doing with my camera? Anyway, and I was itching and itching all night last night. I asked the nurse to check on things and they said everything was fine. Then I asked them to check again today. And an interesting development occurred. So this is now what my back looks like, which is odd. An allergic reaction. Allergic reaction. It's also like a part of my leg too. So hopefully I'm not dying. Hopefully it's not the start of like a skin-eating zombie disease that's going to kill us all. So they just took me off of the pain pump completely. So it's just oral meds now. This is going to be a much harder recovery than the last one to be honest. So I know I'm in a hospital bed and all of that and you know, things are crazy and there's pain and doctors everywhere and all that. Amongst all of that, there is one thing that hasn't changed and that is that a morning does not start until I've had my cup of coffee. Everything is packed up and we're ready to head downstairs and go home. We're going home. Safely loaded in the car. It's been five days in the hospital, which was many more than we initially predicted. But Brian got me all packed up like a burrito in the back seat with some pillows to give me comfy and we are settling in for a two-hour drive. Hopefully less if traffic's good. Back to Denver to lay on the couch and watch Netflix for like two weeks straight. I am thoroughly drugged up, feeling okay and incredibly grateful to be going home where I can actually take, you know, actually sleep through the night without nurses interrupting me. You're going back to Denver, huh? Huh? Just a two-hour drive back to Denver. Oh god. If I said two-hour drive back to Denver, blame me on the drugs. I meant back to Colorado Springs. We're going to drive back to Colorado Springs. I'm pretty sure none of this footage is actually going to be usable. I'll just show it to you guys and you'll enjoy it because I don't actually have a brain and words aren't making any sense. So I'm just going to say bye now and I'm happy to be going home. Bye.