 Right then, let's just wait for a few people to arrive, if they are actually going to arrive, who knows? Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Okay, so today, another god-awful Steam game for you all, it's called Bad Rats. Now, Bad Rats was recommended to me by a bunch of my students that say it's one of those games where if there's someone you hate, or you want to play some hilarious joke on someone, you gift them this on Steam, because it's supposed to be like a really awful game. Now, I looked at the user reviews, and the user reviews seemed pretty good, until you actually read the user reviews and you realize that they are all not entirely sincere, shall we say, not entirely sincere. So, yeah, Bad Rats is the game that we are hopefully playing. I just need to get a few things set up, so that I can actually see if there's anyone chatting to me, and then I can respond as necessary. But as there's nobody watching right now, obviously that's kind of pointless, so let's see if I can just muster some viewers here. Let's invite her, and let's invite him, and let's invite them. There we go. A few people who might be interested. Now, Max the crazy right-wing viking doesn't appear to be online at the moment, which kind of sucks, because if I recall correctly, quite enjoyed watching at least one of my streams. But anyway, I'll just send out the link to a couple more people, then we can get started. In the meantime, I guess you could have a look at some of the reviews of Bad Rats online. Okay, so we're almost ready to go, just hang in there guys. Hang in there, get a couple more of these URLs sent out. Obviously, having so many subscribers, and so many people who are obviously really interested in what I've got to say, and streaming literally the best games you've ever heard of, it's kind of difficult to actually muster any sort of real support here, but you know, all I can do is what I can do. So I've got my tablet here, which has got the chat down here. I was expecting RCT4. What is RCT4? I don't know what RCT4 is. Okay, now obviously this is only the second livestream I've done. Hopefully the sound will be sorted in this one, I know we had a bit of an issue with the sound last time. So feel free to pop something in the chat if you're getting ear cancer, or whatever it was that was going on last time. Also, if you have any suggestions for other games that I could livestream, then by all means make those suggestions, or gift them to me on Steam if you're on my Steam friends list. Now, as always, I'm going into this totally blind. I opened the game once just to see if it would actually load and to set up some initial settings. Now, when I exited the game that first time, I had to actually reboot my computer because it was making this awful sound effect. You know, obviously it hadn't closed the sound channel before exiting the program. And in answer to the question, why not Twitch? Because, well, I haven't really got a reason, but general consensus is that Twitch favours popular people over no-name people like me, and also favours popular games over shit games like this. And as I already had 300 subscribers, it seemed to make, I don't know, kind of more sense to do it this way. So anyway, without further ado, I mean, I know there's only, well, at the moment, there appears to be one person watching the stream, which is obviously a horrendous turnout. I'm not sure if my timing is off here. Maybe I should have waited till 8 o'clock, but I think it was about the same time that I did it last time. Cool. So, yes. Bear with me one sec. I tell you what, I will just forward the link to some people on WhatsApp. Let's copy that text. Go to WhatsApp. What is indeed app? Let's paste that in there. And let's just forward that onto million and one people. I think that will probably do. Okay, so still apparently have one person watching, so without further ado, let's get on with this and load up Bad Rats. Here we go, Bad Rats. It doesn't have a bad rating on Steam, but I'm told it is a bad game. So, let's load it up and hopefully we shall see if this actually works. So, let's hit play. Okay, at the moment it's not full screen, which means you're probably not actually getting it in. It's just full screen that. When I full screened it, it skipped past the intro. Ah, now what I really like about this is the fact that it hasn't actually remembered any of the settings that I changed. I'm just going to double check that these sound levels are actually all right. Okay, I think something's messed up on my streaming software, so bear with me a sec while I put that right. No, let's click the wrong damn thing again. Okay. Right, and let's just stretch that out. There we go, teething troubles, but what are you going to do? Okay. Right, okay, here we go. Let's go to the options and let's set the resolution to obviously 1240 by who knows. Not 1280, because that would be a standard resolution, wouldn't it? And obviously we can't use standard resolutions here and we will use a shadow stencil there as well. Look at this, this is the height of quality graphics. Click okay there. Yeah, as I say, just post a comment down in the comments box if the sound levels are not great. So I've got credits, I've got, the hell does that say? Help. I like how they've made the word help, like, you know, difficult to read even. Right, okay, here we go. Play, let's play. Let's start a brand new game. Let's do that. Okay, let's do the tutorial first. Music's pretty jolly. Graphics look like they're straight out of 1995, which is kind of cool. Welcome. Oh, excellent. The voiceover is read out by some bizarre speech synthesis program. It's almost like I'm playing a game made by Anonymous or something, you know? Yeah, it's too big now. Okay, right, bear with me a second. So because of the crap non-standard resolution, it looks like my streaming software has messed something up. So boom, there, that should look a bit better. Let's go back down there. Can't hear the game at all. Okay, that's cool. It's not really a bad thing to be honest. Let's just turn the audio volume up a little bit. How's that? So there's some jolly music playing in the background. Press the play button and let's see what happens when it starts. Okay, let's press the play button. Good, the ball falls down. I wasn't listening to any of that tutorial, so I was sorting out the... Can't move the... What? Okay, yeah, why not? Let's use some objects to help us. Oh my God. A batter? Oh, I see batter, yeah. Exactly the same, okay. Okay. I've just adjusted the volume again. Oh Jesus Christ, what have I done now? Yeah, okay, let's make it. Okay. Still shit levels of shit, okay. Hang on, I'll just adjust the volume a little bit more. Okay, I've just raised the volume a little bit better. Is that better? Let me know if that's better. Okay, right, so play that. Oh shit, I fucked that up, didn't I? Okay, yeah, stop that. I've moved the barrel to the plan position, so stop that. What am I supposed to do there? Why... I've done everything you asked. Bad position. Your face is a bad position, there we go. Right, so... How do I have to put him somewhere as well? Ah, right, I got it now. Right, okay, so let's actually play this thing now. Bosh, what the hell? That's harsh, man, why would you do that? Okay. Wow, I've got a password to get to the second level of the tutorial. Objectives, hit the bomb with the ball, explode the car, only the ball can activate the bomb. You'll use the balloon to place the rat in a good position to hit the ball. Tractor can help to drop the ball softly, okay, right. What? What's with the porn music as well, man? Put the trampoline down there. I don't know why that rat's not holding onto the... I was expecting the rat to hold onto the balloon. Now what? Okay, how do I turn the tractor around then? Yep. Can I turn the tractor around? Oh, do I have to put this fucking thing in front of me? What? Maybe, I don't know. Let's go. No! Just turn around! How do I get the thing to turn around? Is there a key I can press? Oh, God! Why is this thing always facing that way? What's that do? What's this button do? Would you like to reset the scene? No. What's this? Options. Apparently there is no way to get this guy to turn around. There's got to be a way to get him to turn around. Okay. Right, if anyone's got any suggestions on how to do this, then by all means put them in the chat. I feel totally stupid, because this is only level 2 of the tutorial. I just want to make this guy turn around. How do I do that? No, it's just that's it. Right, okay, so... What if I can't put that there? Well, that's never going to work, was it? Click Help. Where's Help? Show me the Help. Let's just click on the... That's the... The plan doesn't tell me shit. Let's escape. Help. Tractor can help to drop the ball softly. Doesn't explain a damn thing. I think you've died. Right, let's put that there. There we go. Right, okay, good. That wasn't immediately obvious. Let's play this. Wow, that was anticlimactic, wasn't it? Yay, level 2 finished. Right, okay, let's go to... What I love is the way that the chat... The stream chat is like, you know, a good 10 seconds behind the action here, so let's go next. I just had a few people saying that the feed has gone to shit. My stats say that it's healthy, but I don't know. Maybe I should drop the resolution down a little bit if you bear with me a sec. You can listen to this cool music while I do that. Settings. Yeah, you might have to, I guess, drop the quality down. I'm streaming like, you know, 1080p. Cool. Obviously, this is going really, really well then. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I am just going to stop the feed, make a couple of adjustments, and then I'll start the stream again. Okay, so just bear with me 10 seconds, guys. Okay, so I think we're back on. I think the problem, I think I found the problem. When I set my output resolution, instead of putting 1,920 by 1080, I put 12,920, so I think it was gone mad or something. Let me know if this is all right. And let me go back to the game. Toby, don't make jokes like that. I've told you about that before. You're not a father yet. Right, okay. If we're all good and it's all rocking and rolling, let's get back on with this. Okay, so I didn't actually read any of that. Let's go back to the help. Let's see what it said. Turn the microwave on. Burn the cat. Only the ball can activate the microwave. Uncle's cool, I guess. Turn the microwave on. Burn the cat. Only the ball can activate the microwave. This music is making me want to kill. It's making me want to rise up and kill more than my year eight class. So only the ball can activate. The board can make the path lacking. This is a ball about pushing the ball side long. Who wrote this? Right, here we go. What do I actually have? So I need to... I've got a rocket rat. Is that politically correct? It seems a little bit off to me. Okay, let's get the wooden board. I can go up there. Boink. There we go. So presumably I'm going to have to... Lung rat. What does that do? Let's turn him around. Flip him. I guess blowing yourself up near the ball is going to do... Maybe? I don't know. Let's try it. See? I'm going to actually do anything. It's like the worst bomber ever. So it's obviously not supposed to use him for whatever reason. I don't know what the long rat or the rocket rat do, but rotate. What the hell is that? Okay, let's rotate him a bit more. Rotate that way. Oh my God. That's ship porn music started again. Right, here we go. Let's see if that works. What the hell was that? World's worst physics. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're watching at home, please don't put your cat in the microwave. Put your neighbor's cat in the microwave. Not long rat, Lorcan. Lung rat. Right, okay. Level three completed. It took me 10 minutes apparently. It makes me feel stupid as well. Right, okay, let's go. Next. You know, this game isn't as bad as Uriel's Chasm that I played last week. Uriel's Chasm was just like a bizarre, absolute waste of life. This doesn't seem so bad. Yeah, it looks crap, and the music's crap. And if I'm honest, the kind of core concept of the game is crap, but it's not unplayable. It's a crap concept for a game, but it sort of does that crap concept reasonably well. I mean, it's not a great tutorial because it didn't really explain how to sort of change the direction of the different things and that, but you know, it's not your arse is a chasm. Your mum's arse is a chasm, Nathan. Right, hit the bomb with the ball, explode the cat. Only the ball can activate the bomb, obviously. Hence, you'll need to build a lever to work as a catapult. Fat Rat is a good weight, and its position can make all the difference. Right, okay, let's play this. What is that? This looks retarded, right? Obviously, that goes there. Let's make this kind of seesaw sort of thing. Fat Rat can go there. Let's play that. Boink! Physics, ladies and gentlemen. The game is advertised as a physics puzzle thing. So, I don't know if you can see the steam thing that's just popped up. My friend on Steam has sent me a suggestion that I played Desert Bus. I'm well aware of what Desert Bus is. Now, me and Nathan were going to play Desert Bus as a charity drive thing, so it's live streamed Desert Bus for 24 hours solid and see if we're still alive at the end of it. I imagine at the end of it, we'd probably be fighting each other, smearing ourselves in our own feces, and generally not fit for human consumption. But you know, it might happen. It might happen. Okay, let's do the next level. Desert Bus, I should play Desert Bus. Is that a game? Right, okay, here we go. Hit the chainsaw with the ball. Chainsaw the cat. Only the ball can activate the chainsaw. The ball must be lifted for a perfect shot. Vacuum is a good rat to move the ball up. Where do these rats get their special abilities from? I don't really get it. Okay, so what have we got here? I'm going to need him there, I guess. What's that guy? Archer rat. I don't know what that is. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Flip. Maybe that'll work. I don't know. What the hell, let's try it. Up it goes. There's that physics in action. Oh, come on. Okay. That was actually pretty funny. Right, okay, so I'm going to have to maybe move him into a precise position. I don't know. Boink! Yeah! Now, anyone that knows me knows that I absolutely despise cats. I hate them, they're like the worst animal created by God. God didn't create animals. God's not real. But he was the the worst yeah, cats are the worst worst thing. So I despise cats. Now, I don't feel good about killing these cats. There's something about it. It doesn't feel right. I don't like it. And I should like it. Because, you know, cats but I really don't. Anyway, let's let's just move on. Genital jousting is the shit, says someone. Yeah, I liked Abby Lorcan, but she was like the anti-cat. She was like, you know, queen of everything that was unholy. My friend in chat is saying that I liked Abby, his cat, who tragically passed away. She was the kind of cat that would look at you and you know that you'd been marked for death. I appreciate that. I had a healthy respect for her. And so, yeah, hit the candle with the ball, burn the cat. Only the ball can activate the cat. I mean, look at him. He's chained up. He's got a ball and chain. And that that ball and chain, the cuff that's around his leg, he could easily escape that. It's like this is suffering from some sort of learned helplessness. This is like a it's a, I think there's a deeper psychological message in this game than just rats hate cats kill the cats. It's like you know, how long has this cat been tortured? How long has it been sort of kept chained up to the point where it's actually free to go. But it doesn't realize that. Oh, maybe it does realize it, but it's just, it's scared. It's scared of what, you know, or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. I don't know. Regardless, the cat or rat is going at the top here. Let's flip him around. That's going to go down there. I'm obviously going to need a whatever umbrella, I suppose. And now, obviously these guides, they're kind of ruining the game for me because I know what I'm supposed to do because of the guide. I'm hoping that this is just literally a tutorial thing. And it's going to go away eventually, but you know, you never know. Oh, what are you doing? Total bellend. How do I make, actually, oh, there, it's got it, right, okay. Um, go. No, it's not going to, it's too late, it's too late, it's too late. Oh, no, did it. Hey, look! It's burning to death, and all he can do is a crap little dance. He can't even summon up the energy to whimper anymore. And now it's just a charred mass of blackened bones. I am a Budapest. How much was this game? I bought it full price for 79p. And that was a massive, massive ripoff. But if you want, I'll happily gift it to you. I'll happily gift it to you. In fact, even if you don't want it, I'm going to gift it to you, Nathan. So check your inbox. It's coming your way. And you are going to play it even if I have to force you to do so. It literally said what in a pop-up. I'm not really following the chat, because I'm too busy sort of following this game. Oh, God. I'm trying to look at the chat on a tablet. No, you are getting it, Nathan. There's no way out of this now. It's done. It's done deal. Gunshot. Password. Rocket rat. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Fire the gun. Kill the cat. Only the ball can activate the gun. I'm seeing a pattern here. It's pretty sure that usually only the ball can do whatever it is you're supposed to do in a level. Hints you'll need to use the scene objects. Well, there's a surprise. Tractor position is a timer. Rocket can handle the lever. What have I got? Another tractor rat. Same old, same old. He's going to push that along. Presumably that's going to smack the ball down there. Rocket rat there, I guess. Whatever. Let's try that out. Come on, quickly, quickly. Oh, it doesn't matter. It's not set there anyway. Bosh. No, no, no, no. There we go. Fire the gun. That's horrible. Although, that looks a bit like Donald Trump's hair, doesn't it? Donald Trump. You know, I... I'm thinking about Donald Trump. What's this? The next time you get to a new level, stop and uncheck the show plan box. Oh, yeah, I know I can do that. I know I can get rid of the show plan. I was just wondering whether there comes a point where you are forced to get rid of it. Do you know what I mean? It's like, yeah, it's a helpful guide and everything. But, you know, is there ever going to come a point where no, you're not allowed to use it anymore? That's what I was getting at there. You need to calm down as well, Toby. Look at all that shouting. Uncheck it for God's sake. Yeah, okay. Anyway, let's go next. Oh, hang on. Seems to be a longer load than the... Oh, no. Here we go. Shall I do it without the plan? Shall I go solo? Yeah, why not? Let's do it. Let's real test our battle now. Okay. So, what have we got to do? We've got to get the scissors and that's going to chop that. Is that Cloud's Buster Sword from Final Fantasy 7? Kind of looks a bit like it. What do I actually have here? What the hell is that? A cannon rat? Okay. Can I do a bad position? Not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do now. Is this actually going to make... I don't know. Is this going to make a difference? This fucking music. I mean, this music. Let's get rid of that. I've got a balloon. I've got a cannon rat. What does the cannon rat actually do? What if I put the wooden board here? Rotate that. Like that. That's counter-intuitive as well, isn't it really? Move that. Oh, this music, man. I guess. Let's try that. Okay, that wasn't really what I was expecting. Maybe not... Could I just hit it with the thing? Okay. That was almost where it needed to be. Oh, come on, man. Yeah, you can do it. You can do it. That's not going to work, is it? It's just not going to work. Uh... Leave the plan on, Lorcan says. Okay. Well, I gave it my best shot without the plan. Uh, so let's go to help and show the solutions plan. Let's play the game. Of course, because it wouldn't possibly be that simple, would it? Presumably then, I've got a... Let's get rid of that dickhead. Uh... Push it using the tractor. Then what's this? Timer, maybe? To blow it up? I don't know. The cannon. Uh, cannon rat is going to shoot it across there. Let's... No, obviously it wasn't. Well, that was one big failure, wasn't it? Is there anyone who can set the... Ah, there you go. Timer. Now how long? 64? What is that? Is that seconds? Oh, I don't know. Okay, let's play this. Go. No, obviously it's not 64 seconds, is it? That's what I've got to do. Let's change the timer to, um... 120... Oh, 156. Let's try that. Oops, no play the game. There we go. Well, that was obviously too much, wasn't it? So, let's change that timer again. I really love the way it's like... It's not in seconds. You don't actually know what the units of measurement are. So, you've got no way of being accurate with it. Let's play that. Let's play that. Uh... Oh, come on! I was almost there! Uh, this timer... 85? Let's try 85. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum... And, no... Guys, you've got to get real fine-grained on this, haven't you? 90. I'm not having fun right now. I thought I'd throw that out there. This game's not fun. Uh... But again, it's not driving me insane. It's not so unbelievably awful that I want to, like, eviscerate myself. That's not even going to reach anyway, is it? Oh, God, right. Okay, let's stop that. And... 96. Oh, my... Christ. I don't even know if I'm doing this right. Okay, time elix. 98. Is that going to work? So, it's got to be 97. But I... There we go. If it's not this... Because I tried 96. I tried 98. Um... And so it should be... It's not it, is it? That's not it. You have a bat and a balloon. Oh, does the balloon lift the ball up? Let's... Let's fuck the bomber off. The balloon's not going to lift the ball up, is it? It just lifts a rat up. Although, I could maybe lift the... Let's move him down there. Put him up there. I need to... I need to flip him first. Oh, God's sake! Flip. So, this is my theory. He pushes that over there. He shoots it up there. The bat cracks it across there, right? Forever stuck playing this. Right, okay. Let's go. Here we go. Right. And... Oh, no, man! What's the timer on that? Let's go. Here we go. This is not going to work. This is not going to work. This is not going to work. Let's change the timer again. Remember how I said it's like a bad game, but it doesn't make me want to kill myself? It's... No, it's about to crush the threshold. It's getting to that point. It's about to... It's about to... It's about to make me want to go and get those razor blades. No. I envy that cat. I think the cat's got the better deal. Is that going to make a difference? Let's try that. How will attaching the... God! You know when you're watching someone play a game in the arcade, and they're totally shit at it and it pisses you right off? That's me right now. I'm playing the game and I'm totally shit at this game and it's probably pissing all you guys off. In a way, I don't really care because it's kind of your... I guess it's sort of punishment, if you like. Well, that didn't work, did it? Oh, God! Right. Let's try something totally different. So we've got the ball there. The bat has got to be up there, man. Oh, okay. Maybe this will work. But let's try it anyway. No, that really didn't work, did it? There's a sound plan, though. Oh, God! Right, okay. Yeah, look, it is a suicide bomber rat. That's why I said it's like really... like... not politically correct. It's got one eye bigger than the other as well. It's like... This game... rather than, you know, what's it called? Bad rats. Bad racial stereotypes? Um... I still kind of reckon that this is what I'm supposed to do. Um... Yeah, that's right. That's definitely what I need to do. It blatantly is. It blatantly is. Let's just set the timer a little bit longer. Maybe change the angle. Oh, that's... Look, if you click on that side, it should rotate it to the right, but it doesn't. It's like so counter-intuitive. Right, okay, let's play this now. Done. Go. Oh, come on! Right, a little bit longer. Rotate it. Okay, here we go. Let's play. Play ball! Do you reckon they tested this? Like, you know... Do you reckon they sat down and thought... Is this game... Is this game fun? Yeah, yeah, it's good fun. What about that level where, you know, Oh! Come on, man! That was almost there! It's almost there. Right, okay, let's stop that. Rotate. I think maybe the angle is slightly off. See what I mean? My original plan was sound. None of that balloon rubbish. I was onto something. Here we go. And... Oh, come on! This time. It's got to work this time. It's got to work this time. And... Okay, let's maybe change the angle a little bit. Let's play that now. Right, this time. Here we go. And... Come on! Didn't even change the time at that time. I changed the angle. It's like... It doesn't push the ball at the same rate. Do you know what I mean? How are you supposed to time this when every single time it pushes the ball in a different way? I've got a good feeling about it this time. I've got a good feeling about it. Here we go. And... Oh, come on! I bet it'll be different. If I just don't adjust anything and just play it again. Here we go. Yeah, that's not a bad suggestion actually. Why not just do this from the start? I don't know if this is going to work. Well, that's not really the way I intended it to work. But you know... Yeah, it claims to you... That the people that wrote the physics engine are actually aliens that have spent their entire lives living in space. And physics is just something they've read about in books. Excellent. So, right. Let me... Let me just take this opportunity as well to wish a very happy birthday to Laura Nagel, the wonderful Laura Nagel from Dublin, Ireland, who is, I don't know, twenty-one-ish or something, plus or minus a few years. Happy birthday, Laura. Love you loads. And... Damn you for getting me hooked on those caramel biscuits. Because I've been buying them and eating them ever since I stayed at yours and you bought me those. God damn you. But they're good biscuits. But happy birthday. Excellent. What's this? Show the original solution. So let's see how they actually solved it. You know what I mean? This is how they solved it. Let me just check what their time in certain was. Ninety was their timer. I swear. Let's see if theirs actually works. Yeah, well, fuck you, developers. How do you think you are? Right, anyway, let's go to the next. Okay, level G. Here we go, level G. Good dog. Password, Toto. I bless the rains down in Africa. There we go, a bit of Toto there for you. Open the cage and free the dog. Let the dog meet the cat. Only the ball can activate the weight and open the cage. Time precision is needed. Brilliant. Because I really loved that. Because that was really good fun in the last one, wasn't it, guys? The rocket can use the maps ramps. Vacuum can lift the ball for the rocket. Shall I play with or without the plan? I'm asking you now, with or without the plan? Obviously, I've got to wait about 10 seconds to see your responses. So, tick, tock. Tick, tock. Are we doing it with the plan or without the plan? With the cocaine. Cocaine is not actually an option here. God, I wish it was. I'm just going to check my text messages while you guys give me a give me a straight answer there. I've got 7 messages from 3 chats. Okie dokie. Right then. Now then. OK, so no one has said not to use the plan, so I'm using the plan. And to be honest, the solutions to these things are so... I mean, the plan's crap anyway. It doesn't tell you a damn thing. You know? Anyway, right. Let's have a look. Well, I'm going to need the vacuum rat up there, obviously. Stick him up there. He's going to suck the ball up there. Rocket rat can then push it along there. And I guess maybe bomber rat. He can go there. Where's the old rocket rat? There we go. He can go there. Rotate that way. So, obviously, I've got to wait because the timing is going to be... Obviously, I don't know if this stream has worked, so someone's just said that the stream is... According to Google, the stream is healthy. Is there anyone having problems? Right, ok. I'm just going to pause that there. Right then. So, did I not click pause? There we go. I think one of the problems is that I've been... Anyway, here we go. So, panic station is over. I'm obviously going to need to set a timer on the rocket rat. How long are we going to wait? I don't know. What are even these things? What do you mean bad position? I haven't even moved him. Whatever. Let's try that. That was obviously too late. Let's change that timer. This music is awful. Go now. Go! What the hell is that? Now, I know I shouldn't really pick fault with the cartoony graphics. That skeleton looks like a human skeleton. It doesn't look like a cat skeleton. That level was... That wasn't so bad. Let's go to the next level. I don't know how many levels there are. Ok. Objectives. Hit the chainsaw with the ball. Only the ball can activate the chainsaw. Runner can have amuse. Ok. There's obviously an issue with the stream again. I don't know what. Let's have a look. Make sure I'm not sort of... Maybe close that. Ok, so today... Nobody watching right now. Obviously that's... Skeleton looks like a human skeleton. It doesn't... There's obviously an issue with the stream again. Let's have a look. Make sure I'm not sort of... The stream seems alright on mine. But then I do have the dog's bollocks fiber connection to my house. So I don't know... Maybe you guys need to upgrade from your 56k modems or whatever. I don't know. Let's just stop that. Good. I'll tell you what. I'll get rid of that. And I'll... Get rid of that. In fact, let's just close that down and let's go back to the game. Kicking small bears. Germicide away. Here we go. Right, ok, so we've got... I guess we're going to need to... Put the tractor up there. It's going to push the ball down there. Probably get that over there. What the hell are you doing now? Come on! Right there. Run a rat can go there, I suppose. And the bomber rat can go there! Let's run that. Here we go. Oh, well that didn't work, did it? Ok, so maybe move him back there. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Yeah! There we go. Well, run then! Why aren't you running? Sake. Right, ok, let's try that again. Oh, he's running now. Oh, for whatever reason. Does anyone remember a game called Armadillo Run? There used to be this cool game called Armadillo Run, which was kind of similar to this, except it didn't make me want to... Why has he stopped running again? Oh, come on! Why, though? But why? Is it inspecting your shoelaces or something? I hate you. It's the best game since Blue... Well, Blue's Brothers was based on those I've ever seen, so... Why has he stopped running? Right, there we go. He's running now. Yeah, ok, keep on running. Don't stop running. Don't stop running. Keep running. That's it. Keep on going. Don't stop. Why? Why, though? Why would you stop? Why would you stop? What's the point in that? And he never starts again. Ok, let's... Move him right up there. Right, this time. And they go up. Oh, god. Ok, stop that. Back there, maybe. Here we go. And they go up. And the ball goes... Oh, no! Now, this time. This time. This time. Keep running. Keep running. Keep running. There we go. Do you think the chainsaws is as good as the one in Doom? Or... Maybe not as good as the one in Doom. I don't know. Oh, my god! I've got an achievement! Bad Rat Jr. 10 maps solved. How many maps are there? I can't really explain my... The lack of... The sense of no achievement that I get from playing this game. All I've really achieved is like, wasting a night. I mean, the saving grace of Uriel's chasm last week is that I... At this point, I'd finished the game. You know, I've done 10 levels. Let's go... Excuse me. Let's go on to the next one. Open the cage and free the dog. Let the dog meet the cat. Only the ball can activate the way. And open the cage. Ba-ba-da. Ba-ba-da. Ba-ba-da. This music is really crap. I guess we'll try this. Best game since Duke Nukem Forever. You know it, baby. What was that? In what universe does things behave like that? I bet if I do it again, the same thing won't happen. Let's see. Why shoot it again? Why did you shoot it again? Let's move them away, maybe. Let's try it again. Yes, it's the best game since Rise of the Robots. Rise of the Robots had a great setting tested in focus groups, etc. on the advert. Jesus wept! Right, hopefully this time. Shoot. See what I mean? I just hate it when you figure out the solution to something. But because it has to be so precise, or because the game mechanics are that crap, the game logic is that crap, but you sort of think I've actually got the right solution here, or should I be doing something different? Even though you were on track the whole time. The whole damn time. Right, this game is starting to make me want to kill, I'm maybe going to do a couple more levels and then call it a night. And probably just like... I'm just going to cry. I'm going to cry myself to sleep, I think. I envy the cat. I envy the cat. Okay, right, trampoline. They've given me a trampoline on pretty much every level. This is the first time I've actually needed to use it. What have we got here? That goes there, obviously. Wouldn't create a bomber and blow it up to there and the batter can go there, flip him and go rocket rat. I've still no idea what the lung rat does. Let's rotate him. There we go. And let's set the timer. Try that, maybe. Let's see how that works. Here we go. Obviously, I need to change that timer, don't I? Because ten, whatever that is, is that... I think these might be tenths of a second. I don't know, let's see. Here we go. I need to wait a little bit longer. Oh, come on. This game is rubbish. It's rubbish. I hate it. And go. There we go. Come on. What are you doing? There we go. Jesus Christ. God. Right. Oh, brilliant. Fast thinker. Five maps solved in less than one minute. Brilliant. I don't feel like a fast thinker. I think this game has actually made me stupider. Right. I'm going to go to the menu. Now, let's see if the game does what it did before. When I exit the game, it just goes... Let's see if it does that. Right. Bad rats. It's just a bad game. It started out. I'm going to kind of give it the benefit of the doubt. But it got to the point where... I mean, when you started introducing timings and stuff like that, and the fact that the physics is so inconsistent, it means it's just impossible to properly plan. I mean, you look at the solutions that you come up with that take your ages to perfect, and then you look at their solutions pretty much exactly the same. But those works, but yours doesn't. You know? It's frustrating in the extreme. It looks shit as well. It looks shit. So, yeah, thanks for watching, everyone. Let me just exit the game. Do you really want to exit the game? Yeah, I do. See what I mean? And now I've got to reboot my computer to get rid of that sound. To be fair, though, if I had to listen to this sound for the rest of my life, that would be preferable to ever play in that game again. But... Yeah, so... Thanks for watching, everyone. Um... If you've got any suggestions for other crap games, feel free to stick them in the comments. And... Or email me, message me on Steam, whatever, you know, just like, send me some suggestions. Um... I've really got much more to say than that. I am going to now turn off my computer. I'm going to go and paint. And that's going to make me feel better about this wreck that I call my life.