 It's so stupid it's positively brilliant Yep, shawlam in the god Andrew Shulks we are the brilliant idiots podcast welcome to another week of brilliant idiotness Doodle Herm is here Yeah Yeah NYLA is here Nila's here. I want you guys to give wax a better name. What do do her? His first name is Herman and he's the doodle man. I tell anybody my government the back way in tight pants in the 2022 Wax taking this shit to a different level if you don't go away great sweatpants you wear great cobbles All right, you're gonna see these pockets in this penis goddamn Oh my gosh, damn listen man, how was your week? It was good. Um, it was good you It's been a good week so far. You know, it's interesting. I Realized that I am embracing Deaf differently. Okay. I don't like the direction of this. No, no, no, no, it's not a dark thing I'm looking at like people like Sidney Portier. Mm-hmm, right. I'm looking at people like Bob Betty white. I feel like Bob Saget got rocked and that's what I'm getting to right when you see Sidney Portier let live to be 90 something Betty white lived to be 99, you know, even, uh, you know, M2 me You know, he James M2 me he died at like 70 something. You realize how young 65 is 65 is young bro I'm saying like I got I'm thinking about it like I'm 43 right so at 65 You know, my oldest will be like 30 something You know what I mean, that's the young like you want to live like I want I need that Betty white man That's what I want. I want to live so old that when somebody says oh man life is so short. They sound stupid You know, I mean Bob Saget at 65. That's too young. Yeah, does they may know why he died? No, man, they said it was from what I heard today. They said it might have been some type of heart issue then he just wasn't aware of I guess that shit's crazy because like a friend of the family and She she was at my wedding and just like Incredibly like best friends with my my mom and everything and in incredible shape Like not she's not young. She's older. She's like kids and everything that but she's like thin She's an incredible shape though. You look at her and you're like, oh, she works out all the time Had a stroke a couple weeks ago doesn't happen. I know where bro, but Betty weighs 99 You know I'm saying like Blood in there like the blood sugar was crazy high or something like that But I guess sometimes you look at them people you're like, oh, they must be healthy. No, it's not you never know Cuz like you look at fat people and we're just like, okay that you could have diabetes You have hypertension you could have all these things. So like you just see fat You're like that's unhealthy and then the opposite of that must be healthy But now you could be skinny and fucked up to me and don't do shit. Yeah, could it be Pfizer? Could it be Moderna? Could it be Jocelyn and Jonathan? The nose is heightening up cuz I'm hearing a whole lot more at all. What's that? It's like strokes and like Strokes and heart things man I'm saying are you getting that booster? I'm not getting the booster. I'm cool. You good Two shot maximum whatever the fuck. Yeah, yeah, I had enough drinks to be in the club Okay, what if they do that what if they change the definition of being vaccinated to two shots and a booster? That's what they're doing now. So now you can't even get into restaurants with that. I get a fake back Is three boosters don't say that The motherfucker from Pfizer Check your card like I go up to the thing. I just go like my car everywhere. They check y'all because they know y'all have fake ones I need my ID in my car I could be wrong, but I thought I heard the guy from Pfizer say We've learned that two two shots is not made me may not be that effective Two shots in a booster is a little more effective. What the one we got coming out in March But listen at least you know what they are Jordan's cuz Jordan has just been dropping the same same as last It's got new color ways I'm telling you man, I don't know what's going on no more, bro I really really really don't and I don't know what the fuck because I'm not getting no more Yo, isn't it crazy? Yo, but isn't it crazy that like we could just go, you know what? I don't feel like having something injecting in my body that I don't really know what it is And then people go what the fuck is wrong with you Came up and they're like, you know God jam this in your body you would at least go. What is it? You know exactly you know what else is so funny about that didn't they give you shit for all of all of our bad habits So we should be in dieting ourselves and changing our habit. Yeah, don't you think yeah, wait what? We should be in dieting ourselves Yeah, you mean like as like black people all everybody, okay, okay You were going to specific black things Like everybody that's what white people look at like like why don't black people do like they drank hypnotic Yeah, why people smoke way more cigarettes than everybody. Oh, they learn for sure. Why people get it What people don't care it goes in their body, bro I College for fun Black people a little more particular and partying yo, I Running this morning My people don't get cold though since I was alive. I really need to know the signs in it I've been alive a long time and white people have been doing that when it's freezing Yeah, we don't play around and the only thing be read on them is they know Sweatshirt and be looking mad warm except right here right around the nose area. My nose They just attached me to a fucking sleigh They put it in a pill you think more people would have took it Maybe you know that they answer this but I think they're coming out like a medication they got a pill or pill We're more comfortable with that We'll take So pills after you have it so you get it and you get the pill and you can do it I need a while, bro Yeah, the needle so currently like going to the dentist because of the needle, right? I don't like what like we said last week I just don't like being forced to do anything. Yeah Don't force me to do it. Let me make my own decision based off my own information you know what else I hate the same shit you said about people walking up on you and and and and Criticizing you for not wanting to get the shot like I don't want to remember It's the same exact thing when in regards to all the misinformation that they put out there Yeah, that's on them and then get mad at us because we confused me Literally said I got to get a PR person because our messaging has been bad And I want to learn how to communicate better to the people They don't know Are we were wrong they call me a PR? It drives me crazy. It drives me crazy. How many vaccines you've taken multiple times in your life I'll probably took like four. No, no, no, like you get one vaccine. I've never taken Don't call what's another one. They think the flu shot is the flu vaccine Call that shit a fucking vaccine Call that preventative thing to not get the full call it should a shot vaccine to me you get when you're younger I don't gotta worry about it last time I had the flu shot though. I never had a flu shot Me neither. I never got flu shot even now with this boost I never got it either. Just say it's a vaccine like they don't call the flu shot boosters every year They create new flu vaccines because the virus mutates every yeah, I'm not doing that every year get a new fucking shot Though it got you looking at death differently. I thought you're gonna say something a little bit different because when I saw That he passed and they had the flyer. I felt like I was in hunger games I still feel like that. What's one when the death? Yeah, could you know how hunger games and make that noise and then you see if their number go up? Really feel like I'm in survival mode because it's anybody there's no age to it like it's coming Angle it's been like this Because we put that and I we did that to ourself we put ourself in that position situation Like we was out here while and so every day was like playing Russian roulette with our life You just now seeing it is like seeing a bunch of deaths. I was watching my people pass away all the time I need to talk to people Now I'm with you I need to talk to older people because I'm trying to figure out is is like did they have this many I guess Notables died in their time There was a war where the people just didn't come back literally But they were there were celebrities to these people like their mom their uncles and their their fathers and stuff There was no social media. Yeah, no, no, no, that's not true because you had you got Marvin Gaye. You got JFK You got Martin Luther King, Jr. Martin Luther King JFK and Selena One song Oh Selena had a movie bro That was a sad wish. I don't know bro. Them Latinos love Selena, bro. Yeah, yeah They do also death back then like you really felt it like they had fucking riots and shit over those deaths Yeah, they ride it over Selena. Why do you think we need to build the wall, bro? They still coming for You say what people died now you see the post and you just got to keep surviving Yeah, I mean we have no choice that the world is going to keep turning like we're going to be a part of that number one Do you have it don't stop for nobody? It makes me I just want To be around like by the way people like Betty white them they kind of like dying at the right time Yeah, because they get them social media like you would you get some? Yeah You don't ever get to get them where it is Want to see cars flying Yeah, but to her this is cars flying like the older you are the crazy Exactly like you see a face time call that's a car flying a car right so to us We're gonna have to see some wild shit in the future like even now this virtual reality shit that we're seeing Like punching the air and shit That's gonna be why what happens when you die in real life Do you gotta die in the meta verse too? No, cuz I saw Reese Witherspoon post yesterday about how in the future Everybody's gonna have a digital identity everything yeah from the currency to the while it's buying digital goods everything So when you die in real life, should you die in the meta verse? I never played that shit, I know what it is That meta version gonna be wow Yeah, you love it because you don't gotta leave your house. I don't want to be in it. I don't want it I'm not I'm not connected you need to do you need to build the world that you could bring all the nice people I said that I'm disconnect. I only use Instagram now. I don't fucking Facebook. I don't fucking Twitter I don't fuck with tiktok tiktok is no By the way, that's cool to me like I remember my man from tiktok hit me and he was like, yo You know you got like at the time it was like you got 40 million mentions on tiktok You know tiktok whatever so I let the TV show get on there and it's they got to see the God paid But I don't go to that shit And I think it's cool cuz I'd rather be talked about didn't be talking about everybody else Like do you realize how much social media is a spectator sport? Yeah, like if you got that much time to sit around and talk about what everybody else is doing you're not doing anything Well, yeah, people are miserable You've made millions of dollars talking about what other people are doing, but I'm on the radio To me that's a skill set but also I talk about a lot of my own shit But to me that is like you doing stand-up. You're on stage putting that together Based off things that are going on these people only eat based off what everybody else is doing I'm with you on that. I think that is true and but I also think that we acknowledge and I think we seen on Instagram, too It's like there's a new generation of creators that are like succeeding within the social media space and they are doing what you did on Radio and what we do podcasting what I do doing stand-up like they're finding ways to do that through TikTok and Instagram and I respect them. I'm talking about the bullshit I'm talking about the people when you post on when something post on the shade room. Yeah Everybody that runs to those comments. Yeah And got something to say that shit is a spectator sport if you took away the comments from all of these sites Yeah, what would you do? I would be so happy What would these people do no engagement? Yeah, I don't even think they would care It's all about the engagement expecting y'all so funny We just having this conversation of the day even with podcast there's so many podcasts out there Radio shows anything that you do to talk. It's always been this way, but it's more evident now It's got to be based on your opinion people want a unique POV They wanted they want to talk to people that they trust they want to talk to people that they know is gonna make them think They want to hear something they they can't get anywhere else because everybody's talking Everybody's talking. They were literally go crazy. That's like your girl trying to argue with you and you just don't say nothing She go even crazier. Yeah, no, that's for real Reaction they want to react and stirring up water to catch fish everybody's feeding off emotion I don't like that though. Yo Kanye is so fucking funny, dude. I've been mostly detached from Kanye a while ago Yeah, but around you. I I'm emotionally attached from Kanye until I start to see it work on Kim And then I'm like, I he won that shit is not working on him. You didn't see what Kim said I saw that that she said she said that his girl is a fan. Yeah, but why you got to say that Rather Than a hater she's I rather be the family. Oh, you feel a little salty Just say I wish him the best as long as he's happy I'm happy for his own father kids Right now Y'all miss something that was so good on on Instagram man, what happened on now we love Instagram By the way, I have no problem watching people that's way richer than me That's why I understand why people do it. Yeah, it's annoying. Yeah, Kim was on the beach I don't know who's you on the beach with yeah might have been big dick Davidson. I don't know might have been BDD I don't know but Scott district posted in the comments. Where is the tripod? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Meaning Pete Davidson. Where's the tripod? Do you know how big your dick got to be for your sister's baby daddy to get on Instagram and say, where is the tripod? Do what else did he mean? That means Kim is talking about that shit around the house so much that Scott is like God I mean, that's really her jump off. What do you mean? Like Pete is her jump off nobody talk about their wife He thinks you think Pete don't know that The Kim she's oh gee man come 41 years old. She having fun. Yeah, and she knows what to do She knows how to you know, what is it called stir up water stir up water to catch this water soon She's creating a social media frenzy. I don't know if she is bro with that what she just did Not stupid, bro Greatest the Kardashians are one of the greatest dynasties we've ever witnessed Yes, and for this new era that we live in of reality TV and social media and all that they're the best They are the 90s bulls of this shit. There is nobody that has done What the Kardashians have done and whenever I see them a lot in the news when I see the Kim and Pete shit Or I see the Tristan and Chloe shit. I'm like, all right. Let me go see what they promote New show on Hulu. Yeah, of course. No, like they literally put the trailer out like two days are after that whole Got the Netflix doc coming out. That's it looks great Kanye does every album, but I think I think Kanye is doing is a reflection to like Kim's attention So he was looking crazy and instead of turning to Will Smith He's like I'm gonna go Kanye because will Smith got to sit there and take it when Jada cucks him, right? And they yeah, he's like no I'm gonna go find another white girl with a fat ass, and I'm gonna make her just as famous as I made you That ain't the one though. Say what? That ain't the one Everybody said that about Kim. I bet everybody said that about Amber. I bet everybody said about every girl he dates That's what he got to get. He got to go back to that. Say what he got to get him a ambo That might be it right there Y'all haven't seen the dumper though. I ain't you haven't seen the dumper and that's I think where you guys are a little bit off Type Yo get that dumper up there, dude Once you see this dumper you gonna flip your whole shit You're gonna see why Kim jealous for you to look say what you just got married. You can't be looking bro You can't look at at least 30 days. You can't look at the 30 days. That's all I got left You say I got left is look. Yeah, I'm gonna get lacy just to look I need this shit in 2020, bro Say what that's it. Don't don't that's it. Don't that's it No, that's it. That is it. Don't that's it. Hey, I'll I'll have to bring it up. Let me see what you got I'll have to bring it up. It is cool and hers is real Yeah, we can do that. I'm engaged White girl dumper, bro That's a white girl dumper. Don't judge her on no fucking fake ass White girl dumper Why would key key word white girl? Why yeah key word white girl. We got to judge on white girl scale. Do we not? She ain't she ain't touching Kim, bro. Nah, she uh Nah, she ain't touching Kim. Yeah. Yeah, but Kim got all the fat. She got Robb's fat Not Robb's fat She does, bro They was jumping up fucking Rob and they were all sucking Robb's fat for years. Yeah Yes, in their ass. Robb's a dirty cat. No, that's not a fact. This is the brilliant idiots. That would be great That is a fact. That is a fact Is that really a fact here? 100% We started that fact about seven years ago on this poll Kim Kim not jealous in it. No, she's not. Son, why would you even say that sentence, bro? You're crazy Every black person went just look at the girl and we're like, oh, okay, and then we swipe back out. All right I'm through. So we all did it. I did the same thing until I saw the pictures And then you saw the shit cutter and you were like, oh that's what's Once you saw that shit cutter, you were like, oh, I see what he's after right now I'm talking about it. They could do better. All right, did I just say that? Yeah, we're seeing Kanye out with Future Like after a divorce. That's what me everything. You know, like he's not taking whoever this girl is here I just want you know, I want I want This is an organized relationship and organized marketing But you gotta look at it like this like if all them are addicted to and it's all them all them are addicted to You know, she did a photo shoot with Pete like two years ago. Who's that? Um the young lady wasn't it? I believe it It was the paper magazine. Yeah, I believe in 100% so she was in a movie I don't know if you guys saw the movie with the Adam Sandler called. What is it called? Fix the damn cap Did you have something time? Uncut Uncut Uncut Uncut Uncut Gems Jesus Jesus You're a fan I'm telling you I'm telling you What is wrong with that? I'm telling you I'm telling you I'm telling you I'm telling you You can't and you can't keep poor water on yourself What's wrong with the chat? You can't do it You can't do it You can't do it You can't do it You can't do it You can't do it You can't do it You can't do it You can't do it There you go Try doing that one You can't suck a tinny no more I'm wrong How long has it been now? You got newborns in the house Sucking tinnies You don't know how to do the tinnies You don't know how to do the tinnies You don't know how to do the tinnies Come on, bro Yeah No, that's funny I thought I was the only person Getting pissed off of that shit No, I was furious I was also furious Fuck you He over here talking about I don't think that's a fat asshole Someone thirsty though Someone thirsty Okay No, Uncut Gems A phenomenal movie by the safty brothers It was absolutely brilliant Adam Sandler's in it He's a fucking genius in it And she was in it as well And she was fucking great, man She was like, she was really good at it She's been in some other stuff too And um But the point is like She's not on the same level of fame as Pete But now that she's in the same conversation That's what Ye will do You know, like If Kim dates a nobody They're not gonna get propped up to The level that Ye just propped this girl Nah, he will So you say he wanna make some money I'm saying Pete's bringing something to that conversation too Look at Chris Jenner's man Corey Gamble Yeah I don't know who that is I don't know who that is Nobody's talking about who he is No, I'm not exactly who he is I have no clue Corey Gamble is a rapper or something But Chris is not Kim Yeah Yeah, that's true Whoever Kim pops out with Everybody's gonna be on the front page or something Yeah I have no clue who Corey Gamble is But Chris ain't Kim What was that group from Chris and me for something like that You talking about Gamble and Huff bro State property State property The old school group from Gamble and Huff from Philly I don't fucking know But anyway Corey No, no, no Yeah, I have no clue who that guy is That was just an example of what the mom did But like he said, that's not Kim Kim would make anybody hot, bro Even harder I don't know Chris Humphries bro Where's he at? He was hot when he was with Kim Was he though? Yes Nah Absolutely Nah You know his name because he came so I bet you know I bet if you Google Chris Humphries right now It'll also say people search for And Kim will probably be in the top three still Yeah, you got a TV show immediately I guess what I'm trying to say is like If all of them even subconsciously are addicted to fame Like I think you start believing you like these people That you're dating Right Because they're providing that fame They, it's like crackhead couples Like they think they're in love with each other But they're really just in love with the crack Yes And they go going after, they keep bumping each other Trauma bonding I say that shit all the time Trauma bonding Do you call trauma bonding or you could call it like Addiction bonding with like fame bonding So like they I think all of them are going Like this girl I don't know her but like this girl might really believe Or start to believe she likes yay Simply because she's getting fed With the thing that she wants Which is fame and attention You know what I wish And the same thing with Kim and the same thing with Pete I'm sure I wish people would stop dick riding dysfunction I feel like we live in an era where everybody just dick rides dysfunction Like even it's like it's like everybody that's Like I guess perceived as dysfunctional will go click up You know what I mean Yeah because it's more authentic Action is weird I think it's like the same reason why you laugh at someone who's drunk And he's saying wild shit Like because you're like oh wow they don't he don't even know Or she don't even know that she's saying this So this is what she really feels in this moment Don't work in sober thoughts Yeah but so it's like something about like dysfunction That's authentic and real Like you're like oh wow I'm experiencing what somebody actually feels in this moment Not what they're saying So that they could get clout And it's entertaining as shit though It is entertaining but I just wish man Like your Kanye West is Kanye West right And I always say that Kanye He's very revered you know what I mean But he could be He could be maybe more revered than hope If if he didn't have a lot of the antics But would he be this big if he didn't have the antics Yes because of the music Because of the the fashion You know because of the times he stood up He's actually because of the times he's actually stood for something You know what I mean Like when he got up there was like George Bush don't care about black people Would have it may not have been the most Articulate eloquent way to put that But in that moment he stood for something He went on the stage and did that to the lady For Beyonce Oh tell us That was cool I mean listen a lot of people agree you know With that with that thing With that what what he did But just the Outrageous Just the influence he had on the past decade Like all of these people of fruit All Kanye's treated Drake's The Coles the Kendricks The chances you know Big Sean and Cuddy with his artists Like he could really be revered in a different way And it's almost like you don't have to do the things like I'm going to Russia to kick it with Putin Flex Why why every why why why Because it's a flex and he lives I'm like with Trump because I'm good with Trump Because y'all don't want me to do something different And I guess that was I guess he said in on Drink Champs how he's like He's like Putin or something like that And it's like you know do you look in the mirror And when you look back at yourself You see every powerful white man And you want to beat him And what and what other reason do you want to be them Except for the power Like it's like it's like As other do with white man It has to do with power And I think he was But it's always only white men Well we're the ones in power Is only white men in power I respect John Stewart But I respect John I'm saying globally speaking If you want to like go back and look at The how the world in the last I don't know I get what you're saying White people does some pretty fucked up shit I get what you're saying They have some power But my point is You go back sorry But you go back like You know thousands of years You're going to find Africans running shit In Africa, Arab Yeah man it's the most of Europe Absolutely Exactly it's just a recent time right now I get what you're saying But I don't want to just respect you Because you got power and money I want to respect you because of something That you actually do But when you value power and money over everything You start to respect those people who have power And money over everything And that's wack That's that's But it takes somebody with a strong constitution And a lot of integrity To still value art When they're looking at money Money is addictive too bro Yes when he says it on that level When I hear him talk about like You know Disney Or you know Da Vinci or whoever it is I understand that Because those people actually created something Yes You know what I mean Yes But just saying you want to be like the person Just because they're in power And they got money That's weak to me You know what I mean Like there's plenty of white people that Influence me But they influence me because of their talent Yes Like Jon Stewart You know what I mean Yes Like I look at Jon Stewart I'm like yo he's dope I don't care what color he is But if we're just I'm not just saying Oh I want to be like Putin Because Putin is the guy in charge He's got power and I'm gonna go I'm gonna go over to Russia And kick it with Putin for what Yeah Why Like what is your reasoning What was the reason Did he even say a reason No Ben is robbing when he went over to his campsite And it's not the other guy Yeah he's not gonna go over there But also he's clearly big on Republicans So of course he wants to go kick it with him I don't know what Putin What is that I don't even have that over here Let's say what is he I would say he's pretty conservative I mean he's a dictator So it's not not a lot of liberal dictators Yeah but I think I don't like all the dick riding And that's what I mean When I say dick riding dysfunction Yeah Because you know what the reaction is going to be When you say I want to go to Russia To kick it with Putin I would like to have a talk I would like to have a talk with Putin I would like to have a talk with Putin Yeah Who would turn down that interview Yeah like I think you would have a great conversation With Putin too But you want to do it for a reason You want to do an interview with him A conversation maybe like I just want to learn what it's like To be a dictator And like what those experiences are And like how you make those decisions And having all that Like how you Carry all that power And you're not completely overwhelmed by it You have a reason Pull up, I need to know I don't want to Maybe maybe he does have a reason But that's a reason So also some people say he's the richest man in the world Really Because he gets a percentage Not only oil He gets a percentage I believe of all the Mineral oil Metals Etc That are like mined in Russia Russia is a massive country So if he's getting a little piece of all that And he's shut down the oligarchs Which were the old like families and companies That basically owned all the mining rights And oil rights Once like the Soviet Union fell And uh So basically I think he's getting a little piece of that And some people say that's why he has to stay in power Because the second he retires The next guy's just going to be like You ain't keeping all that fucking money There's no retirement for Putin Say what? There's no retirement for Putin There's no retirement for people in power So essentially He's the least free person Now he has all the wealth And he can do whatever the fuck he wants But he can't really lead Without that position he don't have it And they might yank that shit back from Or they might kill him the next person in power So you put yourself in golden handcuffs It's really weird It's like we envy these motherfuckers But at the same time At least in America After four years of being president Or eight years of being president Yo I'm in Hawaii baby I got a Netflix deal Let's sell a book You know what I mean? I'm going to Cape Cod Throwing a birthday party Like it's lit He don't need to do all that He can do the fuck he want to do Who do you need a book deal for? I get what you're saying Yeah but you still gotta at the end of the day Make a decision Do I shoot this plane down If it's flying over our space? Like you want vacation Having a fucking LeVocca on the rocks And then a plane comes into your airspace And you get a phone call Like yo we got a plane here Should we shoot it there? I got the best person To make that decision right here He basically deserves that I hired somebody to do this for me That's true And I'm sure a lot of people do do that But then they fuck up You gotta kill them He gotta hit him up then I'll say he's okay This is the TMZ headline What did TMZ headline say? Kanye West gunning to meet Vladimir Putin Making Russia second home Yeah In his house He wants to go to Russia And possibly start a home there And then also he wants to do his Sunday service over there See that's just That's literally Dick Ride dysfunction You're just stirring up water to catch fish Like you're trying to create headlines Like there's no real reason He might bring Putin to Jesus We don't know what Putin believes in now All of him simply saying it He might have fun He might be clapping his hands Man that's just for attention And you know he don't have to Dick Ride dysfunction And by the way look man I'm guilty of it Of course we all are At some point in our careers We've all Dick Ride dysfunction We're all here for Chris But it's just like God damn that shit is draining Like I want to like And I'm using the word Dick Ride But like yo can we Dick Ride Something that actually empowers us Like Dick? Let's take back Dick Can we actually Dick Ride Can we Dick Ride Dick For one decade bro Fuck all this Dick Ride in this one Can we just Dick Ride Yeah That everybody can be happy You know what I mean Come on ladies Why y'all gotta do all the Dick Ride That's right Everybody wants to be happy You know what another word for happy is What? They figured it out They figured it out I just We just really live in an era Where everybody Dick Ride dysfunction It's actually kind of strange It's like yo Today something's going to trend Because it's dysfunctional Yeah we're just so attracted to the negative Yeah but you know what it is It's like a survival instinct I think Because I think back in the day Like you had to think about negative things Or scary things Because those are things that could kill you Like when we're all like In tribes living in the forest Like if you heard something growl Your brain gotta go to that Way before it gotta go to something A beautiful sunset Because that growling thing gonna kill you And all your family members So we're probably like hardwired To care about things that we're afraid of And that's how the news manipulates us like crazy Like every story is just a scare the shit out of us Some keywords Say what? Those are all keywords It's all like the end All little keywords All little terrifying things Like now Y'all notice that ISIS doesn't even exist no more I heard ISIS Kobe came around killed ISIS I heard ISIS in a minute Kobe came around I heard ISIS in a minute Kobe killed everything 20 years we've been in the Middle East Trying to get rid of terrorism All we need is Kobe That's why I'm so interested this year Because it's the midterm year So it's like what is the boogeyman What is going to be the boogeyman Who is going to be the boogeyman We're not scared of Kobe no more Right So it's like what is going to be The motherfucking thing that scares us We're not scared of dictatorship We're not scared of authoritarian rule We're not scared of minority rule We're not We're not scared of nothing I'm hearing it I'm listening to people be like Man where's Trump? Get this motherfucker out of there I'm serious Motherfuckers They feel like they would rather get it wrong Like you know what? At least we know what that motherfucker said Motherfuckers is gassing us up Lying to us Promising us shit and didn't deliver Like I cannot wait to see And I'm already watching it And I'm watching Democrats start the campaign They're already like Hillary You gotta go out there and vote Like democracy depends on it I'm like when y'all gonna start Governing democracy depends on it Ooh Talks on it No for real Like stop telling me that the death of democracy Is upon us But you're not governing like it is Yeah If you're like Joe Biden gave that speech this week He's calling out all the Republicans Like I'm tired of being quiet You're tired of being quiet But you're still being quiet about All the Democrats that are blocking your agenda You're being quiet about the mansions and the cinemas You know and the Kellys Who don't want to get rid of the filibuster So you can pass voting rights Why you not calling them out? Yeah All that shit is performative Until everybody gets it across the board Why you not calling out AOC for going to Florida After shitting all over and catching COVID? Oh yeah now it's okay I get it I mean it's hypocritical No no no it's hypocritical Now you talking all this shit about Florida DeSantis All this shit about you going down there Party and catching COVID Now she can't do her job She's sitting with COVID can't do her fucking job I'm with you But it's just like I just don't like Depressed And you know what else I don't like I don't like people in power acting like they don't have power That's the other reason people like the Trumps of the world That's why people like the prisons Because those motherfuckers Empower that are doing powerful shit That's right Yes we like it Who in the day I don't know like I don't know who the boss is And we yo Humans don't want to admit that shit But we like a boss because it makes ourselves feel comfortable We don't like weakness We don't Especially our leadership Democrats look weak Democrats look weak Bro it's off It's like control your holes But they don't mean If you the pimp If you the pimp Control us Control you got to control us I don't think they are They're throwing their holes I don't want to hear about what Joe Manchin is Is doesn't want to do Yeah He's either boss Are you the president Yeah Are you the president Word up Call him pussy They don't even mean it Call him pussy bro You can't even do that Call him pussy bro Because you know you want to call him pussy Call him pussy bro I don't like using pussy as a derogatory term No it's a positive Exactly I don't even understand that Why do we call people we don't like pussy You get fucked That's good fighting Which one was pussy riding I love it Pussy riding You pussy riding I don't ride no pussy bro What do you mean You're a real pussy I'm riding the pussy Huh You're not a real pussy I don't ride pussy my friend that's crazy So what do you do Pussy rides me Oh yeah you did Yeah you all went on your back show it Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah that's his that's his move Yeah That's his move I gave my wife some top the other day Like I was on top bro And I was like this is the last time Don't get used to this We married Every once in a while I gotta throw it back You know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna throw back 30 back Fuck out of breath and shit Pussy riding And I don't know where to put my hands and stuff That's a missionary old school You don't like this Son it's bad old school I'm hanging on to the top of the headboard Like fuck how long I'll be up here y'all You like giving them a stair master Oh yeah I need too much cardio for that on top ship bro Yeah that's why Stair master man Boy it's nice That's why I gotta get this That's why I'm getting in the best shape of my life this year Cause I gotta get like I need my I can't remember what the technical term is But I need my body age To come down to like 30 something Oh Cause I'm getting the best sex to me So you can start cheating No I do not cheat Black men don't cheat Okay I love my wife I'm very faithful But I'm getting the best sex to me But you know after you get the best sex to me You're by yourself with them Yo After you get the best Cheating was fucked up Cheating is right I thought you were gonna say cheating Fun I'm like this guy Nah Nah Cheating is not fun Cheating is fucked up Only when they become your friend Like it's like It's hard to like Do one of your friends dirty Or one of your people's dirty If I don't think that's like Really your people's if you cheat on them Yeah Yeah Oh no 100% No no 100% How can you cheat on the person that you claim The love the most You going to bed with this person every night You lying to them You guys smell fun I smell your fart I can't live like that That should that should drive me crazy Might as well be through the roof Cause I'm like You should live like that for like 15 minutes Okay Yeah The fuck you mean I'm not saying all the time I'm lying You're calling to me Why you take out with the therapy I was going fucking crazy out here Living my fucking life Like it's golden Knowing it's not Fucking losing my mind Don't enjoy your host's bro Huh? We don't enjoy your host's Hell nah I don't enjoy them goddamn host stories I don't like them either I enjoy them Hey so I hear one of you like Hell Nah nah nah Nah the host stories are the best Get around with the boys tell host stories That's all we got It's like old military Shit That's all we got That's all we got We like the old niggas in the street Who went to jail for 30 years The boy when we was home in the 90's In the 80's Boy we was getting all that money Now we ain't got shit to show for You know what I told Carl that We don't even talk about that When we get around each other Talk about what? I think it's disgusting What? We don't talk about it I owe stories and stuff Yeah we don't talk about till a Single motherfucker comes up And starts talking about Some of his current host stories And we're like Fuck you talking about Act like you know what I am Let me see that Let me see that But that ain't not What's the Instagram That ain't not That ain't not That ain't not That's a fat ass See what y'all Y'all wanted to do it with The Julian Fox I wanted to see I wanted to see Oh y'all think that's a fat ass I wanted to see for research purposes Yeah yeah yeah That's all I had nothing to do with y'all Research is important But that's the crazy part When we do What's the science When we do When we do talk about it We're talking about it From the perspective of Boy we was wild Yeah we was wild It's not like we glorified it Yeah yeah We're not glorifying it But we are Never I hate it Yeah we are glorifying a little bit Remember how wild we were bro That was a day's No it was really wild You thought putting hot sauce in a condom Was crazy I hate that I hate that The reason I hate that is I wish Drake didn't even reply to that Shit That's the other thing Stop replying this shit That you know is fake No that's fire No man Cause here's the thing Nobody cares about the truth From the live entertainment And I see This is how the blogs work Put gas in the car The blogs are posted Y'all never put hot sauce In a condom In a condom No You never Before smashing a Mexican chick You just put a little bit of hot sauce In a condom bro For them Y'all never did that You never did that a little bit So it just squirts out the sides And then they get that crazy orgasm Y'all never done that Put a little sauce in your pubic That's it You have a little sauce When y'all know the latest Y'all never do that What do you call pussy a taco Like real taco You not put some sauce on a taco My dude Come on That sun shit got me like On edge I like that sun shit What's that It's something they did Oh the nuclear fusion reactor That they got going on Oh yeah But how long can it stay up there 17, 17 I don't know if it was a really It's not an artificial sun That's a nickname for a Nuclear fusion reactor That they got And it's for energy purposes It's not for That's what I'm saying Solar It's a holy grail Of clean reusable energy It's nuclear fusion I think it's nuclear fusion Yeah So like for solar That's what the sun do for solar Yeah it's basically like Harnessing the energy Like the sun does And if we could create that Then there'd be no reliance On like Electricity Fossil fuels Electricity All that kind of stuff But we haven't been able To like work out that technology And they said They basically created Something that burned I think even hotter Than the sun For 17, 17 17 minutes No minutes Oh wow Yeah it was 17 minutes It was a world record Yeah Hey that shit a Viagra It was a world record We were going somewhere with this Convo and I forgot No you said you were getting a vasectomy Yeah Oh yes And after you get the vasectomy Does that make you trans? Yo there was this dude on Fox News I gave him donkey today Dude named Chadwick I think his name is Chadwick Moore And he was on Fox News He was He said if you get a vasectomy You might as well cut your whole dick off And go trans I'm just saying I'm just saying Bro you technically about to be trans Man it's just I'm doing it because My wife is half old kids And she don't want to have any more kids So you sing your back week What do you mean? Stop saying her back week She's 40 years old No I'm just saying You got to pull out You got to be You got to do something Yeah my pull out game trash Man I got time for that I'm 43 years old Who my wife Pulling out Like You got money You can't You can't just pull out Say no one can't I better get a vasectomy I'ma keep going And by the way I didn't mean to have the last three I didn't mean It's not like we planned The last one Okay last two Last two Last two Last two Cause I wanted a girl and I wanted a boy You know what I mean You wanted a boy I wanted a boys We had two And this is like Oh man My third baby came Love her Fourth baby came Love her I think you should try one more time No No that's not what I mean One more time She's sitting at home Right now like Shut the fuck up Nila When she see you She's gonna say that She's gonna be like Yo you better shut the fuck up Mind your business now What does she see you When she gonna say that She don't want to hear that shit She don't want to hear that shit By the way I don't know if y'all noticing that Childbirth hurts bro Nah Yeah Well it hurts for us too I don't know who It hurts for me too The woman having a baby Oh for the girl Yeah yeah yeah And it's due to c-sections and all of that And yo when a woman breaks it down to you And that way as my wife says She was like Yo why do I have to lay on the table And get my tubes tied Dude Bloods get c-sections? Dude What is it Dude that's crazy Dude Oh my god When did two crypts take plan B Dude Bro dude this is crazy We gotta stop smoking so much Weird on the podcast dude We gotta stop smoking so much Weird on the podcast dude Look at me a seat pill Yeah dude we need that bro Well listen You know after the vasectomy You got a nut 20 times Wait what For what I just found this out Well Kari had it After After you get your vasectomy Oh to clear the chamber In order to get all of it And after you cut your goddamn cable In order to really make sure You ain't got no more No cable channels You got a nut 20 times 20 20 Everything out That's why I gotta get my body age down Ooh I don't got 20 nuts in me at 43 Jesus every time Literally you'll forget how many times That was six That might as well take me half a year That's gonna take me half a year Nah it'll take me about nine months Nothing It'll take me about a time With this baby It'll take for a baby to be To be developed For 20 20 nuts I'm doing too much then How often you nutting bro? I got a fucking girl at home Even Spanish He loves masturbation Oh you like masturbation What girl that's Spanish She's talking about She what? She eat rice What the fuck That got to do with rice Gotta make him horny Every time she eats rice in a day That's true because There's a lot of Chinese and Indians Ooh Oh wow And they eat rice The hell having fucking Really? Is that for DJ? Two-thirds of the human population Exists in Asia Really? And they eat rice predominantly So heavy rice Makes you have kids And the Indians Always they'd be like 60 years old and still pregnant Son that's true Yeah that's true The oldest woman That could be pregnant Who's like 70 or some shit You're right They oh they pregnant I'm like how the fuck are you pregnant Yeah How long you taking it? 20 nuts you think 20 nuts We have I think we have four times a week now So You have sex four times a week Yeah Like I don't think I'm still young I don't think she understands yet Give her on winks Tell her no or try to fix it No that's why she's fucking You can be a Florida man Like that man Like that man She's like ooh again I'm right Baby Shit 20 nuts Yeah 20 I'd do that in a couple of weeks And four times a week And masturbation I got time to masturbate Right now she's gone for a couple of days already And I thought about it But she's in Florida right now So it's like look at my clothes I dress myself I mean this looks quite summer Is that how you dress? Yeah I don't know what the difference is I didn't see you today in there You look a little casual today The pants are tighter than you usually would No they're not That is waxes pants Yeah With his leggings Wax love of leggings Forbidden rice and aphrodisiac That is good for your liver What is that that you pulled up Alex? Rice is really an aphrodisiac But you know it's crazy right You know how rice is made By shit Is shit bits Is that true? Like all the doodoo They make rice in doodoo bro Oh wait they use it to um What is it called? Fertilizer Fertilizer Fertilizer But it's doodoo bro But don't we do that all the time? Everything is made with doodoo Everything's doodoo Every vegetable Doodoo is a great fertilizer bro It is It's like human doodoo What's wrong with that? What do you mean? What is wrong? Why do you why would y'all eat from other animals doodoo But not your own? Alright so real quick So tell me right now We got sausages We uh uh Food falling on a dog doodoo in the yard Yeah Do we clean the food off and eat it? Cause that's all we do with the rice Say that one more time We clean it We wash the doodoo off the rice And then they put in the bags Yeah but the rice is a shell And then they take the rice out of the shell No no no That thing you eat right there Yeah Is what get washed So they're washing it They wash the doodoo I mean I eat ass There's doodoo on that Word is bonk I guess Ain't nobody in real zones you wash that I don't even know what you're saying Doodoo is fine Yo shit is everywhere E. coli They got commercials about that shit E. coli That shit is everywhere bro You never seen that commercial with a guy With a big ass horn on a mountain That shit is everywhere You never seen that That's doodoo E. coli He's letting you know that shit is everywhere That shit is in the air bro If you got a cough Pull up the E. coli Yeah Pull up the E. coli What movie was that and the guy When the girl came in The guy was a big doodoo The guy was a big doodoo Yeah in Wayne's world It was like Wayne in the Star Trek Star Wars Jobba Jobba Jobba Jobba the Hut Jobba the Hut I don't know But he had like a uh I don't know He's a doodoo I don't know what you're talking about Neither do I Let's pay some bills man Let's do it Oh great segue Since we've been talking about our penises Okay Bluetube Got it 2022 Bluetube Let's start a new year with a bang All right this episode is sponsored by Bluetube Um my brothers Confidence can take you far in life It can also help in the bedroom Especially when it comes time to step up to the plate That's where Bluetube comes in I'm gonna need me some Bluetube To get these 20 You know uh nuts after this goddamn vasectomy All right Bluetube is a unique online service That delivers the same active ingredients As Viagra and Cialis For the insurable tablets And that a fraction of the cost You can take them any time day or night So you can plan ahead or be ready Whenever an opportunity arises The process is simple Sign up at bluetube.com Consult with one of their licensed medical providers And once you're improved You'll receive your prescription within days The best part is all done online So no visits to the doctor's office No awkward conversations And no waiting in line at the pharmacy Bluetube's tablets are made in the USA And prepared and shipped direct to your door In a discrete package Wax been using Bluetube for a minute That's what I'm talking about This what explains everything I just thought about it 100% You've been using Bluetube for a while, right? Not at all Because they're responsible in the beast too, right? Yes, sir Oh yeah, yeah, that's what That's what these four Four times a week A week or two Absolutely They really give you nine-hour meat though I ain't lying Nine-hour meat? Yeah, nine-hour meat I don't want no nine-hour meat Yeah, I think that you might be making that up God damn How many are you taking? I just take I shouldn't be taking the whole thing It's so powerful I think I should take just half You ejected It takes you nine hours to ejaculate? At least Really? So that's what I'm saying Spanish rice When I know I got a big pot of rice It's just us I know I got to put that Bluetube Because she's about to go down White rice? White rice Wow Wow If you guys could benefit from extra confidence When it's time to perform And you know, ain't no white rice on deck Bluetube can help All right, and we've got a special deal For our listeners Try Bluetube free When you use our promo code Idiots out at checkout Just pay $5 shipping That's bluetube.com Promo code Idiots to receive Your first month free Visit bluetube.com for more details And important safety information And we thank Bluetube For sponsoring the podcast You want me to knock out Talkspace too? Just do it, bro I think we just knock it out Salute to my people at Talkspace I've been telling y'all all year That I'm looking for a new therapist I want a CBT therapist I want somebody that specializes In cognitive behavioral therapy Talkspace has them All right, if your struggle Would keep in your New Year's resolution And you beating yourself up about it Don't do that All right, learn to accept the moments When you slip up along the way All right, that is the key To lasting progress And talking to a therapist Can help you through it All right, with Talkspace You get support from a personally matched therapist Right from your phone or computer Whenever you need it So you can make taking care Of your mental health Part of your daily routine Listen to me, man Therapy in this day and age Is absolutely 100% a necessity Don't let nobody tell you different You got to have a therapist You got to have a second purpose course You got to find somebody to talk to Because everybody's dealing with anxiety Everybody's dealing with depression Everybody's dealing with self-doubt Talkspace matches you with a licensed therapist Who can give you support whenever you need it The people in your life Your friends, your family, your partner They love you enough to listen But that doesn't mean they got the tools To help you, you know, get through And take steps in the right direction All right, you wouldn't go to your buddy Who's really in the law and order You know, for legal advice All right, and the same goes for your mental health Talkspace treats your privacy And security as their top priority You get access to a private virtual room With just you and your therapist Send messages 24-7 and get replies throughout the day No need to wait for a weekly appointment Talkspace's encryption and added security features Keep your conversation fully protected Make mental health part of your daily routine With Talkspace Visit Talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month When you use promo code IDIOTS at sign up That's $100 off at Talkspace.com Promo IDIOTS Now let's get back to the show Do we have some church announcements? Yo, we do West Coast I'm coming through with infamous tour shows Next Oxnard We're going to be out there Those are sold out But I'm also coming to Brea San Jose Coachella We're going to do the casino out there So make sure you go check those out D'Andre Showes.com for tickets And then a bunch of other cities You can go check out on the website Obviously we do a radio city musical In New York City Coming to Vancouver Toronto Cleveland Pittsburgh Tons of different places Go check out the website D'Andre Showes.com Absolutely Wax you got some church announcements? Yes, sir Also in the West Coast I got that Who's Wax over there Shout out to Dr. Greenthumb Oakland's Cookies Holding me down over there I got the Show on February 5th We got our live show over there Come and make sure y'all come Come through Or if not go to the streaming services And we got that for you too Go to Who's Wax.com And get It's in New York City at Caviar I think you go get the tickets You'll have all the information up there too Y'all got a DJ? And then we'll talk to T-Diddy about that But now I'm sure we can make that happen I'm saying that'd be cool What is it? February 5th February 5th Bully and the Beast podcast at Caviar Taylor Caviar Where do you go to buy tickets? Ticketmaster? Event bright Type in Bully and the Beast live event And go check out Wax and Larry out On February 5th I also got the Gummys go to Who's Wax.com We'll grab them Gummys And Who's Wax Airsoft I'm saying go sign up Hala Mine is simple Make sure you watch us The Gods on His Truth On Paramount Plus Catch up on the new season We actually have an interview From the first season A conversation from the first season Inside the rapper's studio with Corday Dropping next week Because Corday's album comes out on tomorrow Yeah, on tomorrow A bird's eye view I think is the name of the album Fire album Corday's dope Not that I don't like him But I thoroughly enjoy it Why would you say that? I love Corday But make sure you go to BlackEffect.com Check out all the podcasts we got on The Black Effect Corday's album does come out Friday You don't like Corday You are something else, man What did you say about Corday? Tell me what you said about Corday You know something I realized Actually, as I was listening to Ms. Info and Nas's podcast Is that Corday is heavily influenced by Nas The same way that Cole is influenced by Nas So I'm like They're similar to me I said that Neither one of them is a Nas Come on, relax, send me down That thing was a sing Neither one of them is a Nas I get what you're saying though But I'm not saying that they compare Especially when it comes to projects It's a whole different conversation I'm just saying They're both heavily inspired by Nas And it shows through their pen And their style So that's why I made that comment About Cole and Corday But also, you know, I love Cole So it's just I'm biased So what are you, what's the correlation though? And just the storytelling Like Cole has literally written stories Just like that Birds-eye view He had for your eyes only Like they're both coming from different perspectives A friend getting shot Cole had a song about a friend getting shot It was just a lot of similarities I was like This feels like I've heard this before Well, people's friends get shot, Nyla Not all of us None of your friends got shot? That's a good question I bet some friends do the shooting My cop friends Not a get shot Nah, I like Corday He's dope My god, the production on the album is really amazing And his rapping He rapping his ass off to me Corday Nyla's not impressed Corday I thought he was a singer, I tell you the truth No, Corday's a rapper I think Corday is a rapper I like the production better on this album But I kind of like the bars better on the last album Really? I like this album because Corday's really telling us about his life I feel like I I love when I listen to somebody's project And I learn about the person You didn't get that from the last one? Not like this I feel this was a little bit more introspective And I think it's because he explained that he was like because you know COVID You know what I'm saying? COVID made him feel comfortable to talk about a lot of things that he necessarily You know, I guess wasn't comfortable talking about before You know what I mean? Even with him talking about like His brother who's locked up And the impact that had on him And what's also interesting is when you grow up in a certain environment And then you get out of that environment And you You can reflect on it Yes, and you do work on yourself and you heal And you just Just to sit back and realize You know what? That wasn't normal Think about all the shit we normalized In our communities, right? In our culture That shit ain't normal Yeah, that's I mean, that's the beauty of He's always on the go, man Getting out of your Your environment But also the beauty of traveling Like you start to realize stuff that you do that's backwards as well And one of the perspectives I think we have as Americans Like is we do everything perfect and then everybody else is weird And Like there's such little things that you'll go to other countries and do And like you're so indoctrinated to think your shit is the best But like To them, we're the weird ones Yeah, like We're definitely the weird ones Not, not with everything, but like I remember when I was in Spain, like I saw like The garbage, the garbage collectors didn't even have to touch the garbage Because all the garbage for the whole street was in one thing And then the car would automatically grab it or the truck or all And then dump it in I'm sure we have cities in America, a guy like that But I'm looking at them like they're crazy Because they don't just throw their garbage on the street Like we do them in a hat When I was in Rome, I asked for Italian dressing And they was like, Italian dressing? Yeah, yeah, just dressing No, Italian dressing you don't have They only have oil and vinegar Like there's a lot of mustard, especially food wise Yeah Like what we accept, they would never Yeah Like bulls, they don't have mustard over there I love mustard Like ketchup on fries, they don't fuck with that It's mayo on the fries But then in other countries It is mayo Dogs is a delicacy Like you go to those wet markets and you see the shit They eating bats and shit Yeah You're not eating that shit Cockroach Yeah And she might be fire It might be though She might slash It might be though I can't eat a dog I can't eat a dog I can't eat a rat at all I'm a rat You don't know if you're a rat He can't even look at a rat without a rat Man you grilled that shit Put some sauce on it Throw it on a stick Yeah You wouldn't know nothing I read a story I don't know if it was in South Carolina or New York They found a hawk or an eagle In a Chinese restaurant I was just sitting back like What them wings taste like Yeah, that's fire That shit might slap No, that's a big apple If you see a hawk on the menu You order in that shit, bro Like dolphin I don't even see Like you don't see dolphin in the shark everywhere No, I can't eat no dolphin I couldn't eat dolphin No, no I might be able to eat some dolphin No, I can't eat a shark Can you eat a dog? Yeah, no, a dog is crazy I can't eat a dog I don't know why I would eat a dog You got the dogs paid their dues Like dogs have helped human beings Get to where we are Yeah, I would eat a dog Same with horses Like they like died at wars for us My horses fire I think I've had horse meat Oh no I've had it too And I felt guilty about it My feeling is like If you're an animal And you did some shit to get us here Then we owe you We're not going to eat you We might put you to work a little bit But we're not going to eat you Yeah, horses, dogs Horses, dogs, no I ain't fucking with dolphins even Dolph is a smart This is dark Dolph is a smart But he's already dead though Peter's upset What? He's already dead though I'll tell you what'll fuck you up Well, when you look at the 10-year challenge And you look at a nice little goddamn goat As a baby Then 10 years later When that motherfucker's curried With some potatoes in the sauce Them goats are cute as shit I look, you ain't seen them Let me show you Shit Why are you looking at them now? Because I sent this to my But worth it though, right? I sent this to my vegetarian friend Low key worth it, right? Our good sister Rachel Edwards She vegetarian Oh, she was pissed Oh my gosh, she was so mad That's so mean That's torture What are you doing? That is not torture Can we talk about your 10-year challenge? Because you're still out here lying to people About what? Your 10-year challenge Hello, what are you What am I lying about? You and fucking Morris Chestnut, please stop That was Morris? Yes I'm gonna tell y'all something about y'all Yeah, look at that shit as well I know you didn't think it was him What? I know you didn't think it was him I ain't been thinking it was him I ain't been thinking it was him Stop it There's a metaverse people And some of us are from the metaverse And some of us are time travelers And Morris is me From a different time period And I'm Morris from a different time period Okay How long have you been working on it? Which? No, it's the truth So we all coexist together And I can't say anymore If I say anymore They'll banish me back to a different timeline Are you from the future? Are you from the past? Are you from a different timeline that's co-existing? Different timeline that's co-existing Gotcha So you guys are the same person? So they're passing each other like this Like Spider-Man Yeah, yeah But he's older than me So he's from a future timeline And he's often like a little bit taller That's not... But listen A little bit broader Everything not perfect in the metaverse You know what I mean? So you're metaverse him or he's metaverse you? It's just a thing Like there's no names Like you know how they never named animals? We get names here It's like doing a character in a game In this universe Exactly You know what I'm saying? I'm not looking a little different That's it Because you know he goes out He says it People will be like, yo, you look like Charlemagne You know what I mean? No way How was it when he said it? No Yeah They harass him all the time for that shit Yeah How does he feel about it? Yeah Why wouldn't you want to look like me? I'm a sex symbol Yeah That's a good... That's also true Don't get so quiet, y'all Nobody gonna give me no women for free No, sir I didn't feel this fucking... I didn't shoot I tried to fill the air No, I didn't I thought that was gonna also follow up I said You know Nobody gonna be like Yeah, man, you know I can see it alone You got it, bro You got it I can't even get a... You... Nah You're gonna come up 12 And go down 4 Cousins I can see cousins Cousins, cousins Cousins Yeah Oh Forget it I have a different definition I know what we call the Down syndrome people Cousins White people don't have cousins? Say what? White people don't have cousins? What do you mean by that? No, we do But we used to call people Down syndrome cousins Because I didn't know... Because they have a similar look I thought you was trying to say like We call people Down syndrome cousins They have a similar look And I thought that they were related I would feel like if I... You know, if you had Down syndrome You would probably feel like that With your peers Yeah You know what I mean? When you're with your peers That is family So I don't think there's nothing wrong with that I don't think there is either What happened to Corky, bro? Because he was he? Remember Corky from Life Goes On? Yeah I used to love Corky Whatever happened to Corky He's probably living his fucking best life, though Can we Google that? Seriously, I want to know what... I really want to know what happened to Corky, yo What happened to Corky from Life Goes On? Life Goes On While we're doing that Let's do some shit you won't care about next week Yeah, what do we got? What do we not care about next week? Steve Harvey Quit stand-up Due to cancel culture He says it's just not worth it But how's he done stand-up recently? Like, or is this... It's them checks to make him change his mind You're like, I don't see him doing stand-up Like, and... I do think he got a new show, though Yeah, I mean, Steve stays work Yeah, yeah Like, he's never heard him for work The new judge of the board I don't think people realize how rich Steve Harvey is Y'all can say whatever y'all want about... Steve's the man Steve is the man And when you sit down and have a conversation with Steve Harvey He's one of those people that's going to give you the game He's going to tell you where you need to go How you need to go there What you need to do I named my book Black Privilege because of Steve Harvey He told you that was the right name? Yeah, because my original title was... And I wrote about it in the book My original title was I don't give a fucking Neither should you A self-help God on how not to give a fuck And Steve was like, that ain't it, soldier In the target, what's the fuck? No, my book was first My idea was first They told me that... I can salute to my guy, Mark Mark Manson They told me that I wouldn't sell They told me that I wouldn't get in Walmart I wouldn't be in Target With fuck in the title They literally said... They told me that I wrote about it in my book I see you fucking for it Now, because Mark Manson came out and sold God damn a million plus copies With the subtle art of not giving a fuck Yeah But she was... I don't give a... I don't give a fucking Neither should you A self-help God on how not to give a fuck You was his first row That was going to be my title And Steve was like Don't do that, soldier But he could do it because he was white Basically That's how I mean basically You know, I mean I'm not gonna... I don't know if it's a race thing They just told me that I wouldn't sell Right They was like You're not gonna sell with fucking the title But the book business as a whole Is a very primitive business You know what I mean? It's not like they're progressive Now they are Now they take chances on titles And covers and things like that So when I put my book out In 2017 They was like, nah That ain't gonna work Mark Manson did it And Killed Is it Mark Manson? Mark Manson, right? Chris Merlin Manson This is an interesting point that he's making here He says We're in the cancel culture This is Steve Harvey Yeah, Steve Harvey We're in the cancel culture now No stand-up comedian alive That is sponsored driven That's very important Ooh That is what he just said It's very important And yeah, Mark That is sponsored driven Can say anything he wants to Chris Rock can't Kevin Hart can't Said to the entertainer can't D.L. Hughley can't I can go down the list The only person I can say what they want To say on stage is Dejapel Because he's not sponsored driven He's subscription driven Right, so what he's basically saying is That himself Kevin Hart, Chris Rock D.L. Hughley Or anybody else who relies on sponsors Meaning like D.L. Hughley has Bounty paper towels That is sponsoring his TV show So if he says a joke That might offend the people that use bounty Bounty might pull ads And then all of a sudden He's like, okay, I can't do that So because he's beholden to those sponsors He can't do the stand-up that he wants Because it's so easy to cancel people This is a good point too One of the reasons I stopped doing stand-up Is because my wife told me God was about to do something for me That I didn't know about yet I didn't know he was going to give me this TV career But he did And it turned out to be the best thing that happened to me But if I had tried to continue as a stand-up There's no way I could maintain a TV career Because political correctness is kill comedy I respect self-aware people Now, I Push back on this Talk to me I don't think political correctness ever kills comedy I think it breathes life into comedy The greatest comics always come from times of political correctness You can look back at whoever the greats are And they were always pushing back against something So this is the wind you need for a sale Right? If there's no wind, you can't go anywhere in a sale Boom Right? So if political correctness is the wind And you got a nice fucking sale Then let's go, let's party You just gotta be willing to take the risk Yeah, but everybody's controversial Nothing matters Exactly So the thing that Steve is saying Which is really interesting is He can't also have this career As the friendly, awesome Like amazing TV host that he is And do the types of jokes that he wants to do He made a choice Exactly So he made a choice But a lot of people gotta make choices You know, when Jay Leno decides to host the Tonight Show He made a choice not to do those fucked up jokes neither And that's just because that's what he wanted to do In order to further his career So could he do it? Yes He would just have to be paying And then quote paying too much By potentially losing out on some of his TV stuff Which he doesn't want to do So it's not that he can't do it Dave Chappelle is also choosing not to do the sponsor-based stuff He could have TV shows He could do those things if he wanted But then maybe he wouldn't be able to do his type of comedy So you're making a choice So Steve Harvey's choosing not to do comedy Because of the environment won't let him do it And then he'll have to lose the things that he have But it's not like he can't You know what I mean? I wonder if Bob Saggett And I have sponsors on my shows and I'm doing Because they know you And that's true And they know exactly what they're going to get That's right He's presenting a version of himself That isn't consistent with the version of stand-up he wants to do So now all of a sudden the sponsors are going Yo, what's this whole shit about? So you got to be consistent With who you represent in the world Companies make a choice too You know what I mean? And you got to know who you're getting in business with And you know when you're getting business with certain people You're getting in business with them Because you want their audience And if you know for a fact Hey man, this person's audience is going to be with them No matter what We're in business with them We're going to endorse them We're going to sponsor them Cool I wonder about Bob Saggett God bless the dead I wonder when he was doing full house Was he still doing stand-up? Because a lot of people don't know this But he was a very raunchy Raunchy comedian And Edgy as fuck Edgy as fuck Crazy jokes But he was the most wholesome sweet TV dad And if I already was like that in person too Okay Just when he was on stage That was just how he chose to entertain I heard in person He is the I never met him That I remember But he's the I heard he's the nicest guy He's the sweetest Sweetheart But on that stage Yeah He's a beast And it worked perfectly Because you thought that this was the sweetest Kind of food in the world And then he said these super raunchy jokes He was like whoa what the fuck is going on here So it was a great comedian juxtaposition But I wonder Did he do that during full house He might have Tanner But that wouldn't work If it was that size Do you know what I'm saying If he was doing huge Netflix specials While at the same time Like full houses going on There's no way those things would work And it was no social media So you could go to a club Get on stage Nobody knew You know tell somebody to suck your dick And then go you know Put the twins on your lap on full houses You know play hush a little baby Or whatever the fuck You know what I mean I don't even know if you put out a stand A special during that whole full house time And maybe that was part of it Maybe the full house people are like Yo are you crazy Like you go on stage and sail this wild shit While we got this show this booming right now That's what Steve was doing Steve was like Look man I'm either gonna guard it It's too much for Steve to do this now That's right Steve was like I mean the guard didn't tell these jokes for this much I'm gonna go over here And keep getting all these multi millions of dollars This easy money Go do family fuel Go do whatever Steve you made the right choice Yeah You know what I mean You made the right choice and that's what you want That's what you want If there's some people who are comedy purists And they just want to do stand-up comedy Right And then they want to do other things as well But they're not as important to them as stand-up Yeah And those people will make the choice to do stand-up And also my guys with my God deal Hugh Glee He just got a show Greenlit I forgot what network it is But I know it's going to be a scripted show Him and Earthquake And what I like about that is Those are OG comedians Yep Yeah They don't bite their tongue Yep You know what I mean Yep They go out there and stay what needs to be said on that stage I like the fact that studios get in business with them Yeah You know what I mean And don't You can't moonwalk away from them If something comes out from a stand-up special If something comes out from a radio show Or a podcast or whatever Because you know who you're getting in business with Those are 50-something-year-old black men, bro You know exactly who those two are And to be honest And you know this probably better than everybody If the show is doing numbers And the advertisers are getting return on their investments They can look the other way very easily Yeah Like I'm sure with the breakfast club And you can speak more to it But I'm sure like once some numbers start to go crazy All of a sudden there wasn't that many notes From the advertisers I never paid attention to that kind of shit, bro I know you did Never I'm not even lying I know you did I never paid out I literally never paid attention Nobody's ever come to me and said Hey Charlamagne, you gotta tone it down Because of X, Y, and Z But if the app And you could fire multiple times for that Yeah, they did But not for that They did multiple times tell you I got fired four times But it was never for anything I said on the radio Oh really Never I've never been fined by the FCC You know what I mean Nothing I've been now I've been sued You know especially with breakfast club I've been sued by people for like donkey to dance to But even with that That's just because of You know they didn't Like some information I put out there About them Or you know they didn't feel like it was an act They felt like They felt like What I said wasn't accurate Things like that What I've never been fined by the FCC I never got fired for something I said on the radio None of that Ever I didn't know that Nah Everything I got fired for Boy there's a lot of coffin going on in here Yeah man There's a lot of motherfucking coffin 15 Come on bro You know what I'm saying Like y'all passing that shit around bro What's going on bro This is probably where it got started bro I don't even want to talk about this shit Salute to Steve Harvey though You made a choice I am I'm not mad at the choice god damn it Nothing it's fine Like There's no criticism But I just get a little bit Defensive about stand up When they say you can't do it no more You can You just have to choose How much That would be easy It's worth to you I tell people that shit all the time Andrew Schultz made a choice You gotta be willing to make that choice And guess what To your point Schultz He jumped back on you They're gonna jump back on your dick That happens bro You know what I mean Because you got an audience That's it So now you're gonna get them calls for the movies And the TV shows and everything else They're gonna still Make a decision Advertise on the podcast and everything Cause Andrew Schultz has an audience And I think that you know these companies Have to understand We are Americans Humans will always fail a purity test There is Yeah If you're going if you're If you're looking for somebody that's perfect It doesn't exist I can admit I'm a hypocrite If you can't admit you're one You're a hypocrite That's right that's right Cause there's not a hypocrite Simple as that Like come on though There's nobody Anybody out here I can go find something that could Make somebody offended God knew God already said You guys are sinners Yeah He's like Stop trying to front Nah you sin Mom's not listening bro You good Nah you sin Why sin that You never sinned in your life I have sex before marriage You sinned a lot You lied You lied You lied You lied You cheated You stolen You know what I know how this is about This is about God If God is listening right now He's so disrespected right now Word up Cause you think you can outsmart God You think you can outsmart God That's what I'm saying I don't lie I have sex before marriage Yes Okay that's sinning Done I'm cool with that That's it God don't even like how you dressed right now You dressed like that Carry yourself with some fucking respect You know what I mean Some dude walking behind you And pinch your butt It's your fault Why would you dress like that Expect not to get your butt pinched Yo you gotta start thinking about that Cause you know how you give money to homeless people Cause they might be God Yeah So that that guy that pinches your butt That might be him too bro Word is bomb That might be him bro Word is bomb No Let's be him bro You just now sinned You fucking up God bro You fighting God God is trying to give you this blessing He came right up behind you He's like okay get a bigger pen You literally just now sinned And then you out here fucking up God That's foul bro You literally just now sinned God know he may right Say what You just literally just now say God know he may God know he may You know I can't let that guy He's trying to make you If somebody that's 42 dog size Walk up behind you This gives a little pinch Who is that Why did the size in that What if he pinches you on the butt and says God told me to do that That's it What do you do No no What do you do if somebody walks He's like my size He's about the other side He little guy walks up behind you Pitches you on the butt and goes God told me to do that Listen bro No So what if he said that I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do Are you really saying you like to have that debate If God I'm just saying it bro Do we do the wax challenge God made you But he also made you Fucking bigger pants Can we do the wax challenge What do you do He started pinching his ass One of you little guys out to hit you Just walk up the wax Pitch him on the butt That's a brave man And say God told me to do that That's a brave man You know one guy came to me and said He looked like he was about to hit me Or do something I'm looking at him And he said Nah man Charlotte may tell me Give me some money if I hit you I said give him Dr. Dr. I ain't never told nobody that shit I ain't never told nobody that You told some crazy dumb ass Who even came near me I ain't never said no shit like that I said bro Your hospital bills would never be good for you I would never tell somebody to hit you I tell him pinch your butt But I would never I might tell them walk upon you and flirt But I would never say walk up and hit wax Whatever he thought it was He might have said Or come fuck with you or something I'm like listen Your hospital bills ain't gonna be cool Yeah I'ma fuck you up Why you thank people up like that So listen If a guy walks up to you and pinches your butt And it says God told me to do that How do you react? God told him to do that What if today the podcast comes out right So we didn't even This is not even out in the world yet Oh yeah they did it even before They did it They do it without even hearing it Wow for the next 24 hours or so Next 24 hours you gotta eat that You gotta eat that fam What do you do? That's true I wanna know how you would react Somebody pinch your butt I'ma tell you this right now Yeah When I pray I close my eyes He about to go out to pray Knock his ass out You're gonna knock his ass out Even though if it's God God told him to do that They did not God wouldn't do that to me Just because somebody said God told me that That doesn't mean God really told me That's true But you don't know God No, no, no God, God told my brother to punch you in the face He did He did God you did Greg Lee did a great thing This is God And God, and guess what else God told me Duh So God was talking to both of us I was hanging with Greg last night man And we were going over there He's, you know, I was very sick at that time I feel so bad about it And I felt so uncomfortable And, you know, he was saying all these things And we were telling some of the guys With us at dinner And then when they were like What happened? He was like, yeah, you know, I I threw a punch at Charlemagne, man And to be honest He's the only person I missed I punched a lot of people and I was sick, man And that's the only person I ain't connected with It was pretty amazing If somebody's six foot How tall is Greg? Six, bro Seven No, he's tall He's 277, man Yeah, he's 277 If somebody's six, seven And how many rounds? At least 300, at least three Hey, by the way, and I'm sitting down I'm 290, bro Nah, he's 2 If somebody's six, seven, 290 Leans into you And says, this is God And you'll sit there to wait to see what happens next That's your stupid ass That's your dumb ass Okay, I knew something was about to happen I just didn't know what it was The funniest I'm not always trying to work here Mike, I'm like, yeah, I'm with Mike here You know what I'm saying? Is he playing? Is he so good at playing? I keep it up I had to remind Greg last night what happened When I was like, I was like, Greg You don't remember outside He's like, he's like, yeah, I remember Wax really fucking me up, man You know how many times Greg explained this to us at the wedding? At least 10 times He kept coming to us I got scared I said, Greg, I was like, we good We're here for family, family Yeah, he felt really good Greg's booked on this at least 10 times At least He just felt so good He kept coming over like, wax, man Like, I know we used to fight and stuff, but I changed my life I ain't like that no more And I'm like, none of us is Like, we all good, bruh You're the first thing Greg was like I'm not here for a fight None of us are I don't even have 10s on Leave me alone They talk to me, leave me alone They talk to our Greg They talk to me, leave me alone Absolutely, Greg I love Greg, man But last night I've told him, like, Greg You don't remember what happiness is Oh, you know, I know that I I threw a punch at wax and the guys at dinner I'm just like, you threw a punch at wax? He's like, yeah, man, I was just really sick I was going through a crazy time And they're like, what happened? I was like, well, wax just lifted him up in the air And then put him down on a cement And he's like, oh, yeah, I do remember that And I remember him stuffing me in a garage too Yeah And then he goes, and that was about it And I was like, no, Greg, you don't remember what happened After that, he goes, no Wax had put him in the back of his garage And was just holding there, waiting for the police And the ambulance to come And then Greg, this is the best part After Greg's leaking, he's swollen up and everything He got his subcontinues back up And at one point he goes, wax, I'm telling you now I'm going to punch you You're going to have to let me leave And wax goes, Greg, I can't let you do that And Greg's literally lumped up, bleeding outside his head And he just looked at wax And he goes, he goes, he goes, wax, I'm warning you And you tell him, don't get waxed Just fit, yo, Greg, don't hit wax That's what I put my clothes on, I said You don't even see how you look right now, bro Wax is like, I'm different, Greg, I'm different I'm different, bro When he went, he went, I'm warning you, bleeding Out the side of his head already got lift up in the air Put down a cement I'm warning you, Wax And then Greg pinched him on his butt And I'm going to tell you this This guy literally, six, seven, almost 300 pounds If he tell you I'm doing that If y'all touching my butt, you know the fuck I'm going to do to y'all Yeah, maybe it's not a good idea I'm going to grab your legs and really hit The funniest shit at the wedding Greg goes, I don't want to fight I'm friends with the police now Yes, he is I didn't know what you were talking about That's what he said My brother calls the police for everything Also, I just call it the police I've never done that once in my life He didn't do it No, no, no Am I here to call the police? I'm literally everything, bro Because he don't want any more problems So any, he's like arguing with somebody It could be at a red light And they're like, buh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm not mad at him I'm not mad at him So with the Greg, man Yeah, if I hear somebody call the cops, I'm leaving Even if he's on the right That's true Honestly That's true What else we got? Oh, Antonio Brown Have we talked about Antonio Brown? We did talk about Antonio Brown Poor guy Listen, like I said, he made a choice Yeah, he good He made a choice Yeah, he don't hit rapping and shit Yo, real talk, he did make a choice He made a choice Even going on the pot Even everything he's saying After the fact about the situation Talking about Tom Brady, the bucks Those are all choices I am not judging anybody for their choices anymore Even if I don't necessarily agree with them Because guess what? Everybody makes the choice that's best for them I can't tell him how he should react to something I can't tell him what he should do You don't think he deserve more if they bore them in? No In that situation No, listen, once again, I can't say what a person deserves I just know why When he said that on that podcast When he was like, yo, they gave me an essential salary or whatever Yeah I know exactly why they gave you that They gave you that because You're just fucking around Low risk, yes Low risk car reward They don't give him a risk then That's just like buying a motorcycle And you put an 89 gas in it If you're not going to deal with this And all the problems and everything you had You have to put a certain gas in this thing No, absolutely Do not give Don't bring him more than that This is actually an interesting job I'm not paying him all that money What do you mean? He's a hammer He's going to do the job, though You pay him for the job Not because of who he is But clearly AB didn't have any other options No, no, that So there's two things that are going on No, no, there's two things that are going on But he's made an interesting point that I didn't hear about But like Which is If you're saying If you paid him the right amount You're going to deal with less problems Because one of those problems for him Is going to be the fact that He's not going to pay it a lot And it might cause this type of behavior Now, if you're to franchise You only have to pay What that person is worth in the free market If nobody else is giving him an offer More than a central contract You don't have to pay more than that Because he could just not play football Absolutely So he created that worth level Absolutely By fucking around That being said If you're the organization you also got to go Is this going to cause even more problems If we don't pay him right And is paying him right Going to actually help us win Because it's going to Make him focus on the job That's an interesting argument It hurts This hammer working If this hammer worsens Going to do the job You still got to My field is He's going to still fuck up He's going to still do I have problems But is it doing the job If it did the job But if he fucks with a vaccination card He can't play for two weeks Like If he's causing problems Like just He's a guy who's just going to cause those problems And it takes so much management To keep him under wraps I'll put it on him too Because he signed the paper Exactly It is business at the end of the day I'm signing AB I want to sign AB I know AB is great I don't want to pay what his What his actual value is But forget the value as a player Yeah Because his value as a player Is one of the greatest receipts That's what I'm trying to tell you On his market value at the time If I can get that For a low price I'm trying to pay the low price It's worth the risk Low risk high reward Why are you paying him though Are you paying him because of The way he play on the field Or the shit he got going on You know what I would have done is For the way he play on the field What I would have done is You could get more I would have done this I'd say hey Here's an incentive based contract All incentive All incentive Give him real money to make in the incentive Yes Yo I'll pay you like a time receiver It was though I thought it wasn't I thought he was getting paid less For that for this season If he get like I think he was like a catch away from Three hundred and three He lost like a million dollars Yeah but a guy like him On the free market If he didn't have all that Fuck shit going on Oh my god I think he could probably make 70, 80 But why are you at the end Can a top buy a team But why are you acting like the fuck shit Why are you acting like the fuck shit off the field Don't bring the value down You're right You're right as well But I'd rather you don't even fuck with him at all Then come in here and get this This is what you're gonna get all the time He don't wish that By the way he don't wish that Yeah he want the opportunity He want the opportunity Hopefully to get the incentives But even when they look at the incentives It's like this is not for this guy Right now there's NFL teams looking at him And they're looking at their podcast And they're like Should we give baby one more chance Well clearly he's gonna want a shit load of money Nah we're not giving him that Yup We're not giving him that Yup That's what I'm telling you That's how they're looking at it Everybody take a chance if you want to play football though I'll be honest with you I think this is his way I think I believe they was paying him right And he could put other people in positions Like that the people that he had Bring a position Make sure he'd be right You know what I'm saying Maybe You changed his man whole lifestyle With the money they was giving Bro what was the lesson What was the better situation in Tampa Bay You in Florida You want to No state tax You already want a championship You play with the gold time Brady It's a bunch of other dope Receive was there But that's what he's saying Like you're on watch I'm betting these motherfuckers Y'all paying top dollar If I'm doing what they doing If you gave me a chance And you say listen If you act up If you don't act up You come back in class wax You know what I'm saying I'm like okay I'm not gonna act up You want to still punish me What's his deal That's what he's back in class What was his deal Did he have a two year deal Did he have a one year What was his deal But I thought he had a one year deal And then he re-signed again this year Oh he re-signed I think I thought it was I think he played last year I thought he had a one year deal Because if he had a one year deal And then he just did everything That was needed of him He should have negotiated for much more For the second year Yeah no sign of viewing Yeah exactly Now that's another tricky thing There is also is like You see other people on the team That are willing to take less money Like I think even Brady is willing To take less money To keep certain people around That's right So you start going Okay let me sacrifice a little bit Maybe he feels that he's sacrificing too much But again If you're a headache for the team And you know this If you're a headache for the team Is not worth it for the team No one position on that team Is gonna change everything for sure Especially in football Yes and no You know what I'm saying Is there one player That's gonna change a whole team No that's why I agree with AB Yeah that's why I agree with AB When AB said Everybody loves Tom Brady Cause Tom is a goat He's the greatest white man of all time But you still need those other pieces You do Listen they are You need the other pieces You need the pippins And the curves And all that You need it But Jordan Is that one piece I think football is different Football is so many more parts Like we watched Jha do that this week Sluity Jha South Carolina kid He literally beat the Warriors this week Oh John Moran Yeah that's what I'm saying He will, he's even winning But I think that's I think basketball is different You're one of five Basketball Basketball and football Is that same shit You know it's not Is it team sport You rely on the next person all day Bro you can be the best You see what I'm saying Like offensive linemen Offensive linemen You're not gonna change the game You're crazy as hell That's what changes the game No no The whole line changes the game One guy that's good on the line Ain't changing the game Will make these other guys What if you got a terrible running back No matter how good you block it Yeah like that's what I'm about to say On this other side Is just as good as that one guy is being good That one guy bad That's not as good as the whole team is What if you have a good point of back Which you got trash ass receivers But that's what I'm trying to tell you When you throwin' the ball to Everybody clap your hands Clap your hands And we'll fuck your head Now is really a girl Y'all a woman She on her phone with this whole football company I should have taken her back Yeah like she's not fully on camera Y'all call her when y'all do NFTs I'm scared of that shit actually By the way What? The NFTs I don't know nothing about them I like the meta world That I could be able to make a world Yeah And people go buy the houses that I put there I don't like that meta world That's what I'm gonna do Bro they're gonna put churches Yeah You know what I'm saying I'm gonna do the right thing I'm gonna put a scripture Soon you walk in the house You can do mental health You can take your house shoes off Yeah You know what I'm saying You're going to jacuzzi My crib's gonna be dope Yeah You know what I'm saying They put in motherfucking glasses On cows Like cows that they raise in doors They're putting glasses on the cows So they think they're outside Just take the fucking cows outside Yeah yeah Glasses I thought they did that shit Because it's winter Oh shit I think it's winter That's why they put them inside That's what it is I thought that was the reason I don't fucking know I just think it's stupid Yeah Take them outside Yeah yeah you're right Yeah damn That's kind of what I never heard That's kind of what I'm walking Take them outside I don't want my fucking Them good ass cows I'm gonna eat later Cooped up in the motherfucking house I want them breathing that Good ass oxygen outside Did y'all hear anybody Who watched porn on it yet? What on the VR show? Oh I did Yeah we did that at MTV years ago Yeah you could Yeah Oh yeah yeah yeah What the fuck was that? They had the VR glasses I thought you did them Y'all did Black Mirror Before Black Mirror got out of that They had the VR glasses With the porn in them And you walk in the room And the girls on the bed And you look around They been at that Y'all be careful though You're getting nutted on I'll be mad as a muffler What are you putting on? You're putting motherfuckers like that Yeah That's why those motherfuckers Are punching on that You got a metaverse name You got a metaverse name? No I want to get into this Wait how do I get one? They're gonna definitely pinch your avatars But in the metaverse Somebody gonna fuck you in the metaverse wax I'm telling you right now You can't protect yourself? Huh? You can't protect yourself in the metaverse I don't think so Metaverse gonna be Metaverse gonna be like the 80s Metaverse gonna be like the 80s bro I got the preset I'll let you boy Any ass pinching I'm locking you the fuck up They can't pinch your avatars Not even your ass It's not your ass How do you know it's not gonna be like the voodoo doll? You see what I'm saying? This is like Say what? Can't you feel it? Not if you got the whole body suit made me But if you don't got the body suit You don't even feel What if your avatars sleeping They just come over and they pinch his ass Man I would love that man That's why they call it avatar Because of the movie avatar Yes Oh lord I want the motherfucking uh I know that I did I want when wax's ass gets pinched in the avatar It's like that Mario shit when you get a coin Yeah You know what I mean? You got a Elmo You know how much they gonna have to pay me To fucking pinch my ass And they're not gonna get your shit They're gonna be pinching your ass in the metaverse And they know you can do about You're gonna be getting chased Nothing you can do bro You're gonna be getting chased I'm gonna be the cops And you touching them locking your ass up in that motherfucker Lock them up And the crazy part is when you buy clothes in the metaverse You're gonna have to buy leggings yo If you want it to be you And you want it to be enough for real You're gonna have to buy leggings And drive shit hoodies bro Man listen I'm gonna have a store See that's what I want to do Like I really want to have like the store In there I want to have the church You know I want to have Yeah You know I want to sell things I want to be that guy You know what I'm saying I want to have experience in there I don't want to have Like no devil worshiping Or like fighting Or even hoods in my shit Ain't even no hood My shit is like Jurassic Park You know what I'm saying It's like one big wide park people camping And you got the church and stuff It's gonna be like That metaverse shit is about the ruin Society When y'all did the virtual section Yeah You just saw it Like it's like watching You just saw it We all a guy or the girl and you did it No I don't know you ever seen That's cracking Viper episode A goddamn black mirror No With Anthony McEnney I've seen it That shit is wild What happened What happened What it do The guy gives his friend a birthday present Which is the virtual reality glasses Oh shit I've seen that They was fucking each other Yeah they were But he was dressed as That's the fucking game we about to do You're two favorite things Fighting and fucking Now you can combine the two Oh snap You're not even gonna go on the other end I ain't here oh snap That's friend though He was fucking his best friend I'm a boomer bro Yo yo you could have sex with a girl in the metaverse But it's actually in the doom Actually a guy That's right That's right That's why I said it's gonna be a lot of dudes Going around saying they fuck other dudes They do though Because the metaverse is gonna This is what's gonna happen Well they're already doing that I know but it's gonna bleed into reality So it's gonna be a guy on the metaverse Who you and that person hook up with every night But that guy might come in the avatar of a woman And he's gonna be telling all his digital friends He's fucking the shit out of all his Instagram But that's what I'm saying You guys did it already How does the sex work if y'all not really having sex? I don't know Did anybody know anybody about this metaverse? You saw this shit You saw this shit in It's either China or Japan Where the guy was pumping the little glass thing I seen that little thing That was the VR shit He was wild He was on his knees But what he's seeing in his glasses Is whatever woman he wants And he got It'd be Carla That's her That's good That's good Yes, we love that You're gonna have sex with your wife in the metaverse When she right there Yes This shit is I'm telling you she's gonna ruin the world I think she'd be mad at me What you're saying that Listen Wait till somebody gets assaulted in the goddamn metaverse Look at that Sexual assault is already happening in the metaverse The metaverse has a groping problem already That me too metaverse coming bro Meta me too is on the way I'm telling you I'm watching I want to create a security something on that motherfucker That's what I want to do Formerly known as Facebook mega corporation Meta's virtual reality platform Do you help me on how to get on it? Horizon world is barely made it out to the public And users are already being sexually harassed And even assaulted Jesus Christ man This is minority report Yo my fucks gonna be getting arrested For what they did in the goddamn metaverse That's crazy It's just an extension of social media Cause right now People are harassing each other Yeah That's right All of these hurt people These miserable people So the niggas who send dick pics We can get them like Oh they running up on you in the metaverse Yeah Running up on you Just sending dick I remember when DMs became a saying Is it a world or is like a world of yours If you just come into your world I think you share the world I think you share the world Cause I'm not doing it You share the world with other people You can create your own environments Like you have the VR glasses You remember when we got them And it's like It was early on this was like two years ago Or actually not a year ago And at that time they only had movies So you can just go to the movies And then watch a movie with other people But these people are all around the world And in the movie theater you could throw popcorn You could do shit like that That is nothing you could really do Yeah So now once they build out the world And then they have the body suits Where you start feeling shit That's what it's gonna be That's when you got to get into the butt page They got the gloves No, they got the gloves They got the body suits too Really? Yeah So like if you get hit Like you feel the hit So you gotta put something on your penis And your butt if you want to feel something Hell yeah I'm buying that seat to you for your birthday Yo listen no That's 20 nuts right there Yeah I just wanted them to pinch your butt in the metaverse That's what I want I can't wait until I'm getting mad DMs Like yo I just pinched wax butt in the metaverse I want to see the little pictures Open it and show your picture And your fucking eye like this I can't No it's the metaverse I'm fucking them up in there too If you get it You don't know what I'm talking about They're like don't fuck it up And they got the shit out of you Man imagine wax swinging at the computer screen But you see people doing that though You don't see any people out there doing that That's stupid I don't want that shit man You gotta have This is what's really interesting about this If you want true anonymity in the metaverse You gotta have Anonymity A character That's not connected to who you are Yeah You almost gotta have like a finsta Like what they got the fake insta But you gotta have the anonymity in the metaverse So you could actually like Go do the things that you wanna do Go to the place you wanna do Exactly Cause if you go in there's wax You go in there's charla And then you literally are just in some room And talking to some girl They're gonna screenshot it Send it to your wife Oh you see he's flirting with girls In the fucking metaverse I'm gonna tell you I just might know the report she's gonna work Whatever character You're gonna tell me cause if I double like a girl picture Carla's still gonna be upset So imagine you're actually talking to a girl You're sitting on the girl porch in the metaverse Come on man Whatever you do in the motherfucking metaverse Right Is gonna get you fucked up In real life I lost my train of thought But that's essentially what I wanted to say But there's a whole point to that That I was trying to make Oh I'm about to piss myself bro I'll be right back Go ahead I'm gonna pee me too Let's take a break It's supposed to be good a little hard Yeah I'll do the ass Hilarious Oh I remember my thought My thought was that when the metaverse starts Right When you create these characters Hold on Hey Alex is it recording It is All right When the metaverse starts And you create these characters Right Whether it's you are a secret identity If law enforcement If you do some wild shit in the metaverse Like let's just say you want to just Doing wild crazy criminal shit They're gonna I think they're gonna lock you up for that shit I really do Yeah exactly Even if it's not you It should be like Twitter Like how they suspend your account No I think they're gonna lock you up It's like imagine it's like You got a gun in the metaverse And you go shoot up somebody's community Or you shoot at somebody you don't like Some shit like that I think the police are going to come arrest you But if the metaverse is like social media Like grant that bottle People be shooting the show all the time All the time It's not really But this ain't a video game This is you saying this is me And I'm creating a virtual reality You still can't do nothing about it Because they make this up all the time And the money they do is kick you off They may not arrest you for this up all the time though They may not arrest you for murder But I think they're gonna arrest you for conspiracy They'll be like conspiracy to murder I don't think it's gonna go that far I see what you're saying though I can see it I'm telling you I'll see you going out with this People catch cases now for conspiracy For Instagram For just online shit Remember Minority Report When they used to lock you up For what you thought about And the movie Minority Report They used to lock you up For thinking about committing a crime You know what's really crazy The phone is what put most people in jail Just by talking on their motherfucking phone And without no face That's why ghost bosses me so much Ghosts? I love the power of franchise But why the fuck are they always talking about crime on the phone? Terribbi on the phone Like bro I killed two people Oh yeah good job What the fuck That's so much that's bad I'm like they don't tap phones no more Yeah they gotta be made by them No they don't That is not true I watched the last episode of Ghost Tariq Called us He called somebody I don't know if it was Monet or somebody And they was on the phone going back and forth About all kinds of crimes And I'm like Why the fuck are they talking on the phone like this And they do that all the time They are burners But I don't trust this shit Yeah you might get voice Technician is whatever the fuck they say now All right let's pay these bills man Salute to ExpressVPN I know most of you are probably thinking Why don't you just use incognito mode Let me tell you something Incognito mode is not hijacked activity It doesn't matter what mode you use Or how many times you clear your browsing history Your internet service provider can still see Every single website you've ever visited That's why even when 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ExpressVPN.com slash idiots To learn more Now today's show is also brought to you by Fitbot I told you I'm getting in the best shape of my life this year man Physically Okay it's the beginning of a new year So there's never been a better time to get back into shape You know we've been having a lot of focus on mental health Which we should A lot of focus on emotional health Which we should But we gotta make sure the physical is right too All right but you know A lot of us between balance and work Family and life in general It can be hard to make fitness a priority You need a program that works with you Not against you Fitbot's innovative algorithm Learns about your goals and training abilities And crafts, a personalized training regimen That's unique to you Start the year off right with 25% off of Fitbot membership okay If your new year's resolution is to get in shape It can be tempting to look the models and celebrities for inspiration But that inspiration can quickly turn into the 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25% off your membership at fitbot.me slash idiots Let's get back to the show Taylor gang let's do some asking idiots Yeah You've really been saying too differently I think you've been hanging out with Jessica T 2020 See I love just a larry's man Make sure y'all go check out that carefully reckless podcast You know what I'm saying Just a larry's is ill She's dope and I love what her and her family are doing With the carefully reckless YouTube page You know what I mean you can go on there and check out Jess and her family Cutting up Salute to Jess We got to ask an idiot still again Oh I do want to hear y'all three words for a 23 year old self We got him Oh okay let's see what we got Andrew is taking a shit He said piss You know Andrew one thing about that Andrew shows boy he gonna shit anywhere And he gonna enjoy himself when he's doing it And he ain't gonna rush his shit with nobody Jesus Christ ampine cc why so dark I'm not answering that Alan dot vision says What we doing asking idiot shows Alan dot vision says what three words describe your 23 year old self 23 old self 23 what the fuck What year was 23 I remember stuff by the age I'd be fucked up with age I can never remember what age I was 23 23 I know I was with you So we was wild What year was that The fuck Let me see Yeah what the fuck sounds good 23 what was I doing I was 20 years old And college a little bit What year was that In 2020 How do you do that math No no no no no I was 20 I was I put the year in what I put my year 1978 and do what Can you put the question back up I forgot I had 23 No I forgot the number I had 23 to your born year 2000 I was Oh shit Yeah 81 2001 22 years ago how it was 2001 Oh 23 it was 23 Oh that was 2001 22 years ago I couldn't have been uh How it was uh Remember man I think I I think I had just started in radio I maybe I maybe I just started on the microphone I had been I've been an intern But I just started on the microphone You don't know when you were at 2001 2000 What the fuck is going crazy I was in kindergarten Shit whatever I would I told myself exactly what I needed to tell myself Get the fuck away from these niggas You said three words You said that two It's not three words What Okay okay those three words are fucksies Whoa My three words is what the fuck What the fuck is that I was I was still too close to the street So I you know I was still like You know still still around people that were That had not decided to um make the choices I had made That they want to live Yes And you can't in life Choose life Yeah and you can't live too long Choose life Yeah you can't you can't have one foot in and one foot out You know what I mean like you really gotta say you know what nah This is what I'm going to do You know what I mean and that's what I did I did that with radio like this is what I'm going to do I'm gonna go focus on this You have yeah you have two feet out but still have your toes On the one toe on the other side Yeah so I mean honestly man it wasn't even about It wasn't even about It wasn't even about fuck these niggas It was more like it was it was more like Fuck your lifestyle And that's what my daddy used to always tell me My daddy used to always say If you don't change You know if you want to change your life You got to change your lifestyle So for me my three words would be Fuck your lifestyle Because the lifestyle I was living at the time Was not productive at all What what's your three words Show me jackets Come on What you thought it was a Young baby mama from the Bronx The baby fat I was emceeing What was that shit that dude did man That cracked us up Oh Ray Ray Yeah what was the the clip remember the lip gloss Shit I forgot Nah fuck it Okay give us another one uh tell a game I can do one more and then I gotta go All right let's do one more let's make it good words Oh the three words from uh From my childhood Back in the day 23 years old 23 years old Um man Oh it's a good one scroll up What a life Yeah I think yeah honestly I've had the kind of Similar perspective ever since Been pretty cool What a life uh have you ever Freddie P124 says Have you ever had an Antonio Brown moment Said fuck this quid mid shift Yes Every one of my jobs First of all when you're dealing with anxiety The way I deal with anxiety I've done that quite a bit Sometimes he is out I'm out and don't give no mother fuck No you know I do give an explanation You know what's so funny I did that I think I've told this story before I did that with MTV once and I didn't I mean I knew I was Now I know the I knew I was having a panic attack This the flight The flight shit I had a panic attack at the airport I'm supposed to go to LA And it was a crazy ass day in the winter And it was snowing And every motherfucking flight was canceled Except for the jet blue one in the LA And when I say every flight Every flight Every airline Everything Buses nobody going nowhere I ain't this lucky bro And you were at the airport At the fucking airport I was supposed to do a shoot that weekend With the late great Mack Miller and Nessa Yep And It was supposed to be at Mack Miller house Yeah His house in LA Because this one we they had This launched the uh It was the MTV 2 campaign What was what was Mack's reality show called Uh fuck Oh god I forgot what it was called Mack It was a guy called Yeah And you know I was supposed to go out there To interview him and shit like that And um I ended up going to do that I think It was you? I thought it was Nessa Oh I went a different time to his house We did so much shit with Mack Yeah yeah I did a different time to his Yeah yeah But it's like I had a panic attack in that moment I don't know if that's a Fuck this You know In that quick moment But I definitely was like man Fuck this I'm not going to that shoot That's that's fuck this enough And I let them know I told you know Paul and Candida Why I wasn't kind of like Man listen man I was at that airport And I just had a bad feeling And I started talking about God damn uh final destination And all that shit I'm so glad I got the language To talk about what I could be going through now Now this is a straight up panic attack That's all that was Have you ever had one of those? No I don't think so To be honest with you I'm trying to think maybe I just said Fuck this I'm out Nah When a girl never asks you for a second chime Oh shit Second chime Yeah yeah yeah like in terms of like sex Yeah like after you nut She's trying to get it again Just like you never say a fuck this shit Shit You're going to get your boy pitch in the meta verse You're talking about sex way too much I'm not talking about just saying And you talk about sex all the time Whatever you get you earned it You get attacked You get attacked Because you know you're not going to be you in the meta verse Everybody could be you Everybody could be you You're not going to have any size advantage No speed advantage Nothing Everything could be that Yes So you're getting your shit pinched I can't have a gun and nothing Don't be big though They got guns too All right They got guns now too All you guys that pinched Waxes butt in the meta verse Don't make your character Your avatar a big dude I want to make him a nice little guy Yeah I'm saying this is a meta verse Can't do nothing to you Mass Mass shifting I can't fucking wait That's disgusting Anything guys Now what would you tell your 23-0 self Two years ago Wow That's your year Two years ago How old am I Three years ago Three years ago Yeah Believe in yourself Aw Believe in yourself Oh yeah Believe in yourself Believe in yourself Um I wouldn't say I wouldn't I wouldn't I didn't believe in myself To the extent that I believe in myself Now Like now I can see that Things are possible Girls are good Girls are good Like before it would just be like a drink But now it's like Nah I really Oh because you've seen things You've seen what's possible Yeah Got you got you guys Is there anything that you would Let go Is there anything that you used to love Three years ago And you let it go Um Yeah just getting validation from people That's dope Really just stick to it I like this so I'm gonna do this Cause I definitely Would like call my home girl like What do you think about this What do you think Now I don't call nobody I had to do what I wanted to do Mmm You can't really see the best teacher anyway So Good for you You can love validation But don't be in love with validation Yeah And definitely And it happens to us Put a job But but but but how you get the cheat None of us did that We only had three words You went crazy until Oh she did it She said believe in yourself Believe in yourself Oh yourself Your self is one word Believe in yourself Believe in yourself You and I can't spell I can't I was thinking about that too That's good advice though Don't be in love Don't be in love with validation All of us love validation Yeah of course But sometimes you gotta tell validation Like yo I'm not in love with you But I try I'm gonna smash you for a night And I'm gonna keep it moving You're such an asshole man What the hell I missed it Fuck What What I missed it What Say it again What was it Anyway My second story is that I put a job at this Yo hold on Hold on I missed it Hold on What happened Anyway No it's really not It's fine Why did you just You couldn't even record it You the first person to lay a punch On Charlemagne Tell us Tell us what happened just now What's going on One day she might tell that story It's the inside joke That's all You're just such an asshole man You said it all I can't hear you Talk about being in love Without that shit Coming to mind All right As always When you listen to this podcast And you think we're smart You think we're intelligent You think we're brilliant You're absolutely right Is it a dude? Is this a better dude? What if you listen to this podcast And you think we're just a couple Idiots You don't know shit This whole time You've been wearing all these flyers Clothes I've been thinking is your style It's the burnin' This guy just fell in shit In your fucking apartment God damn Mala Thank you for listening Best dressed girl on the planet Turns out