 A Tony Gaskins here Get this live situated now want to pop in this morning. I know some people off on Saturday mornings and Let me see make sure I got my chat set right awesome Got a baseball game. I got a baseball game in about two hours Yeah, two hours, so I'll be on here for about an hour So want to pop in for those y'all who time didn't work right the other night do another Q&A for the blessed tribe and For the others of you, you know to be a member of the blessed tribe to be a part of the Q&A I think the link is in the description now YouTube Okay, son basketball game in three hours. I know how to be on Saturdays I know how it is my oldest doesn't have a soccer game today. My youngest got a baseball game So normally I wouldn't be able to do this At this time because I'll be at the soccer game before the baseball game, but he didn't have one today My videos last few days topics been really serious, you know, I think yesterday So yesterday that one that video might disappear and it might just be in the members only Playlist where the members can see it and so for those of you who members of the blessed tribe when you go to my page and you go to Playlists when you click on playlist You'll see that The playlist is One that's for members only so the videos that get struck they to stay too real for YouTube got words in it language in it That's too too real It'll be in just members only so the one from yesterday about co-parenting That one probably to get took down or get moved over So y'all look out for that because you know YouTube got certain guidelines to where you can't speak on certain things and Really, it's just a it's like a robot listening to every word and they pick up a word and they'll strike your video and then you got a Request that they review it and then a human got a review it but then the human could still say, you know This is too real for TV So y'all keep that in mind My ex-boyfriend thinks I have someone talking in my ear because he said I'm acting funny And you know what that is right there and y'all put your questions in there. I'm looking for them put your questions whenever you start to grow and you start to learn you start to get new game new knowledge and You start to change your behavior. That's the first thing that a man will say because He's used to being able to get over in certain ways He used to things happen in a certain way, but then when you start to get the game He's like whoa hold on now. You normally would respond like this. Now you're responding like that. What's going on? Oh This morning I was at the arm went to my front door and it just came in And it's called a woman's influence and you see a woman's influence whether say own your worth Cultivate your power and change your relationships for the better Cherie Gaskins and Tony Gaskins, you know, you got to pre-order this make sure you pre-order this now The pre-order don't charge your car. It's just Some of the chapters in there the rules of engagement. You're not a maid. Let him love you Don't compete and the 72 hour rule. I really go into the 72 hour rule So make sure you pre-order one is influence Barge noble Amazon The price it'll be set on the the high price But you'll get charged the final price because before it launches it probably will drop down to 19 or 17 But it's just kind of like a holding it let them it lets the the publisher know how many books they need to print With the pre-orders they give my idea. So make sure you get your pre-order in so you on the first print run Woman's influence. I Just bought make it work I'm a single now, but I wanted to go through it like a workbook and take notes For my last and final marriage. That's powerful. That's that's a good practice right there My ex my ex said I shouldn't listen to you Tony. I just tell him it's because he used to get over now He can't Hey, you told the right thing What do you think about a man that doesn't want you to grow financially? When a man doesn't want you to grow financially, it's really because he want to keep you trapped He want to keep you trapped. He want to keep you You know beneath his feet and so when you start to grow financially what that means is he realized that He he thinks you're gonna be too good for him And if he is making more than you financially then what it means to him Christina Jackson God bless you Christina poor out in her life Lord bless her Lord Christina Jackson Michelle Williams bless you Bless you. So he thinks that and then this what I I can't even say the word because they're YouTube all these regulations, but I Told y'all might not make Tony to nine because they be striking all the words the real stuff But what it is is he feels like you're gonna be able to run off you're gonna be able to run off right off into the sunset and And he trying to keep you right where you at and especially if he makes more money than you That's another thing Family, what about using hashtag Q so that Tony can find the questions easily That's a good one. Y'all put that hashtag Q in front of you so I could see that now Somebody's not somebody need them a raise on the job. She'll be Reynolds Over there innovating need a raise need to have your job. You're a innovator problem solver now y'all put that hashtag Q Like she said I might or Or he I don't know she'll be There's no picture so forgive me Daughter father says he's in love with me and loves our daughter But I won't allow him But I won't allow him to be him cheetah womanized manipulator. I can go on and on but my heart is still there Your heart gonna be there until you Welcome all the new members your heart gonna be there until you truly start doing the work Understand is your heart is not gonna go anywhere until you really start Pounding the new work and what I mean by that is when you start to your brain is triggered It's a lot of things y'all hold your question right quick and then post it when you see me done answering What happened is your brain is your brain is triggered. It's almost like when you think of a placebo You have heard of placebo pill to where they say hey, okay There's two groups this group over here. You getting something that's gonna help you focus a lot better and You over here you getting something that's gonna help you focus a lot better They give one the actual thing and they give one the placebo and One who had the placebo which probably just like a sugar pill. They like whoo focusing good I'm not focusing good. That's what your brain does. So when you say boom, I just bought a book I ain't just get the free. I just bought a book. This finna help me I just paid for a seminar. I just signed up for coaching or counseling or therapy I just went to a retreat. I just did this. So now when you take and you start taking those steps What's gonna happen is your mind is saying I'm doing the work we working and we about to grow So now you're gonna see Now you're gonna start to see the work because the knowledge you gonna you gonna even hold on to the knowledge more You're gonna hold on to the knowledge more So I want you to realize that and it's gonna be a daily Struggle every day How do I increase my membership? There's no increase button. Um, there is no Increase, you know, it's only one level of the bless tribe and that's $1.99. God bless you now God bless you for want to increase now when you want to increase that membership What you can do is just hit one of those little buttons on when we on here that that lets you Send a blessing on in but I just made it $1.99 because I want to be affordable For anybody who want to be a part of the bless tribe to support the channel That's why I made $1.99 and I didn't make it, you know $4.99 or $9.99 because I know how Finances are and I know it could be something big come up and then I didn't want that charge When it hits your account it's send you into the overdraft because something big happened in your life And now you got a $35 overdraft fee if you got old ragged Bank of America like me and I don't been there So I just that's why I did it $1.99. So it just you know, it wouldn't hurt But yeah, it's a blessing to me because With how YouTube doing my videos it blesses me when I when I'm when a video is Demonitized because of what I'm talking about What do you think about Latin men stuck in their cultures ways? um no different than any other, you know cultural ways and I'll tell you what now with any man in his culture. The one thing you got to realize is It's it's the norm because it's allowed to be the norm and what it's gonna take It's gonna take a Latin woman who is unafraid Well, she unafraid and she start to voice herself and she start to make she start to lead a movement It might be one of y'all actresses one of y'all politicians Models and this in every this in every race in every culture. It's gonna take a Woman who says listen, I'm not dealing with the with the cheating and all of this extra that's going on And then her friend doesn't and her friend doesn't and her friend does it and when the norm starts to change men start to wake up tomorrow Menaceous God bless you Please put this towards Tony to you've been a blessing to my life. God bless you. Hey, I'm so working on I'm looking for my developers not Michelle Williams. Thank you so much. God bless you and pull out in their life. Lord bless them How the favorite thank you. God bless you so you have to When you start to change your friend gonna change that friend And so right now it's a standard in a lot of cultures and even in the black race Even in African culture, I went over to um, I Spoke in Nairobi, Kenya, you know, I'm spoken all around the world and I did two seminars in Nairobi, Kenya some young men booked me to come over there and And them young brothers they was 21 22 and they probably that that event probably cost 20,000 plus USD and this in Nairobi, Kenya a lot of people was on feet walking no cars It was riots in the streets. It was tires being burned. It was all kind of, you know, big AK, you know big You know situations going on with the security can't say all the words and it was it was serious over there Like it felt tense to me and and I'm over there talking lover relationships and the men told me they say listen Hold on. Hold on playboy over here We don't get down like that what you talking about that old American soft man stuff over here The woman do everything. I don't live for finger and I was like wow I say y'all brought the wrong one then say what y'all brought me over here for then they say well We want to start some change. We want to start some change Miss Lloyd bless you bless you. I Didn't want to miss pronounce your name. So that's what it's gonna take It's gonna take change name your earliest book someone else published and gets more residuals you said by a different one By a used online you say I should reuse tools in it on you because it was so powerful that first book is called What daddy never told his little girl, but this right here this one better than that one now This this update this some part of this too. I don't get no I don't get no money from this now You know when he published in industry. Hey, you ain't Authane rich now until you until you the lady who wrote Harry Potter Even Steve Harvey sold millions of books and he said ain't no money in publishing a book You know ain't no money. He he will quote it saying that man. He switched publishers after Act like a lady think like a man. He switched publishers. So that let you know He wasn't happy with after selling three million copies. So that's kind of just the case with publicity They ain't meant for the author to Get rich. Yes, it's definitely a different kind of game It's so it's just if you want to get your message out But this right here one was in Florence is the updated It's the real I've been reading it because I'm recording the audio book right now and it's just too real I'll be honest with you. I'm reading it. I'm cringing. All right while I'm reading this his book. I'm cringing and I'm like, I wrote this I'm like, man, I gave the game away like this Like man, it just let me that's let me know God just was using me because this something if I had to do it again I Wouldn't write it again. I'd be like man. That's too real. I'm telling too much business in here So, yeah, I can't do that Latrice God bless you bless you pull out in a life Lord Hey, Tony G Can you do another singles event in Atlanta when you come in April, please? I'm planning on it But typically with that one, I don't book it till about a month out Typically a month out so around March 11th. I do it But what I have to do is when you book it you got to put a deposit down and their deposit be hidden my wallet You know because I'm using a nice little venue So I can't book both of them at the same time because that deposit be hidden your wallet hard So I gotta let a little few more dollars come in. So, you know, y'all bless me like you bless me today How you just bless me now, I probably gonna be able to afford that deposit here and buy a couple more weeks And then I go ahead and book it cuz cuz I also got to pay for traveling stuff to Atlanta for me to get there So these events now I want y'all to understand these events could get costly now. So you get it could run me Several thousand in a day You've been a blessing in my life. Thank you. Thank you Merch L And that's why people say Tony come to LA Tony come here come there and I'm like who gonna pay for it Who gonna pay for a Hey, this ain't easy now. I'm paying out of pocket. I've never had a sponsor Yes patty the books on The books on audio I'm recording audio book right now Jessica Walker your your question almost got by me. Let me see cuz you you did a different type So it almost slipped by me. I Have a with a man who turned out to be in the closet with Any advice he talks to me every day. Hmm. So he turned out to be Okay, in the closet, okay, and you gotta With him y'all and reproduce Since I really ain't got a whole lot of advice for you on that one right there And that's a real touch when you you gonna need you gonna need coaching on you gonna need coaching on that one Everything right there came to be said said on on him worldwide. Well, so do my favor. Okay Visit my mentor that life my mentor that life is not calm is that life my mentor that life It's several several coaches on there all different ranges from $25 an hour and up and It's really gonna bless you and help you but everything can't be said on this hill We're a wide well cuz they after me they after me they say man you said in the capital free We finna hit you hard y'all got to remember that about these these systems it still is not Free speech and anytime you in this hill world. It's still not free speech you talk on certain things They're gonna hit you how much time is healthy to spend with someone. I just started dating versus Too much time. So here's the key here the key here now Cavias and nuances the key here is when you start to neglect When you start to neglect your responsibilities, that's when you spend too much time So if you have two hours free To where you don't have to do any studying you're not supposed to be doing any working or cleaning or Preparing and you got two hours free from 8 p.m. To 10 p.m. You can talk to that man for those two hours Now when you supposed to be doing something at 8 30 to 9 30 Whether it's school whether it's your family whether whatever it is and but instead you on the phone with that man Now you're giving too much time So when you serious about somebody and you really like everything that you see inside and out everything seems promising and it's mutual and In y'all serious about each other the goal is to try to get an hour worth of conversation in every day by hour worth of conversation a day and The reason why is because that's when you really get to hear somebody and you really get to see Who they are get to learn Tonya wisdom has changed my life My baby dad is recent most baby mom when she was a side chick reaches out to me and says she owes me an apology Why I left him and don't want him To get that apology to get that apology and keep it moving They get that apology and keep it moving because she she dealing with she dealing with her demands You hear me now she dealing with her demons and so what's happening is She is struggling because she's like she feels Responsible she feels like she played a part. She feels like she could have removed herself Instead of being the other woman. She could have removed herself. So that's what's making her feel guilty And that's why she's saying she won't apologize. So let that get all let that let her get it off her chest And then you move on with your life. I'm looking for y'all questions, but it's it's a lot of Now y'all just don't be coming just to be coming, you know, just putting that GM in there and putting that hay in there Y'all it's this million message coming in here. I'm on time. I already seen that one What happened if your man that you live with tell you to excuse him out of the house for the weekend because his boys is coming From Virginia his biker friends and he'd need the house for a man K Hold on right quick. What happened if your man that you live with tell you To excuse him out of the house It's not like you meant to say to excuse you out the house for the weekend Because his boys is coming from Virginia his biker friends and he need the house for a man K now You asking this question? So I'm guessing that was a serious ask of you that he truly Honestly said that to you Now, let me let me help you understand this If he seriously asked that question, which I'm sure it was here because you wouldn't be asking if you knew him And you know just a joke like hey, let me have the house this weekend for old man K Man get on out of here, you know, I might do that to my wife and she's like man, please She know I'm just joking but if I say hey, you know, baby, you know this weekend Do you think you can leave and you know go stay at your mom's place or somewhere because my boys are coming in And we kind of just need to be here like a man K And I seriously said that Let me tell you You need to have a first-pattern track shoes. You need to you need to run bad foot Like Barney Rubble, you hit me if that's what his name was Flint Fred Flintstone. I mean You need to be Fred Flintstone out of there today. You hit me. Hey, I'm excusing this weekend I'm excuse you the rest of the weeks of the year too because I'm out of here You trying me because if a man says that to you what that means is he has no respect What so ever for you that means that he has tried you in so many little ways So many little tests. He's tested you and you you failed every test Every single test has come back with an elf on it and he has said this woman don't know her words She don't love herself None of that and so now he feel like he could try you like a baser every day Every day, how do you feel about meeting someone in prison? I Don't think it's wise. I do not think it's wise. I think that should be off limits. It is off limits It is out of bounds if a man is not in the free world, then he is not available Okay, can you hear me now? No, can I hear you now? You have one minute left on this call No, you are receiving a call from Tom from the Pennsylvania State Penitentiary by Click talk to you when you out here in this free world and the reason why is because I come from that you hear me I come from that where it's a I know a whole lot of people I got a lot of my close friends that I grew up with doing life doing double life For situations that I could have been with them in in those situations all kind of allegations all kind of stuff So I come from around that and so Where I'm from everybody Touched behind them walls and so what I see is my mama My sister the close women in my life with those women the closest women to me have dated men behind them walls And let me tell you it never worked out It never worked out and even for the woman it worked out for I feel bad for her Because the woman that the man end up marrying well He was talking to my sister and she was visiting him every single weekend the whole last year or two He was in there so then he'd get out and he'd go and marry another woman But this woman don't know she was being cheated on the entire time And what this other woman don't know is that he was literally Sleeping with other women on furlough and you know on on visitation and on all it is and the same thing happened with my mom And she carried a man for years Carried him for years while he behind them bars got out At like she cast for the ghost. You hear me? So don't ever don't ever now see Alize Tony, please answer my question. I'm dying to hear your response You should have put your question in right there Don't don't put when you send a question on your next one don't put Please answer just keep posting your same question over and over when you see I'm about to stop talking Post your question again cuz right there. I would have seen your question I can't see your question and ain't no scrolling up because it's a hundred messages. So I can't get there So I got to answer on Charlotte chairs question right here been talking to a guy on and off for three years. He is still in love On and off. That's the first key word write that down on your notepad on and off Next key words three years Write that down on your notepad. He is still in love Other other key word Still in love. That's a lot and cares about his ex He is still in love and cares about his ex. We live in two different cities and have been intimate says he'll Introduce me to his mom and never does when I visit him. You plan yourself. You plan yourself a hundred percent You plan yourself like Parker Brothers board games Amber I really God bless you Amber. Thank you. Bless you. I really appreciate all your insight you have Been an answer prayer can't wait to afford a session or two with you a God bless you So, let me tell you about this man when them when them messages pop up where they send a donation I got to go to those right quick because they they at the top and they get moved off the screen and I miss it Let me tell you about this man here. Never ever deal with a man more than two years. This 2020 There's no time needs to be wasted in 2020. Okay with 2020 we going forward never deal with a man without an engagement more than two years Never okay, and also understand this about a relationship a Relationship that is meant to be it's not on and off. It is not on and off. It might be off one time At the max it's gonna be off two times and when I say off meaning y'all talk y'all don't talk for like Two weeks on that second time now that first time y'all may have a real breakup And come back together but on that next time you come back together y'all should know each other know how to get it right So on and off is out the window in 2020 going forward The other thing is more than two years out the window inside of two years You need to be engaged if y'all over the age of 25 you need to be engaged inside of three years y'all need to be married You say he's still in love with his ex. He ain't in love with her. That's a soul tie That's a soul tie. So what he's doing. He keeping you around As a roster filler you just fill in the roster you a roster filler and that's why he's keeping you My question is for prayer for a godly celibate man Hey, you got the prayer on that keep praying on it. They out there not they out there I was talking to one of my guys the other day, but they young I really don't meet too many that song You know over 30. I really don't I really can't think of a man that I've met over 30 or 40. That's Godly and celibate, but I'm sure they out there. I'm sure they out there If y'all fellas is out there, let me know so I could just speak up for y'all Let somebody know hey Tony question. Why don't me and try to Do a test on a woman just to see if They're the woman for him It's just human nature. It's human nature and and although it's not fair Um, you just you can't get around it. So don't don't try to Just know you're gonna be tested. Just know that I know it ain't fair I know you don't want to hear but every man gonna test you good bad and ugly the good bad and ugly Listen to what i'm telling you the good the bad the ugly The man that you call a good man a godly man a godfair man He's gonna test you he's gonna test you know why because good man is not synonymous with perfect man He's gonna test you So just hear what i'm telling you and I know some women they want to argue Oh Oh, Tony, I know I know the god that I serve Got a man for me That is not gonna test me He's gonna come in and he's gonna tell me from day one what he wants and he's gonna be honest And godfairing I know it and i'm just like listen Listen You could date the pope You could date the pastor You could date the deacon You could date the prophet You could date any man you want to date He's gonna test you He's gonna test you Because he's making a lifelong commitment He's gonna want to see if you truly buy what you say you buy Believe me what i'm telling you Please help now she put or he don't know who this is Put the red exclamation mark that was smart got my attention the guy i'm dating is a pastor He did just what I was just talking about And he haven't been treating me right so I decided to leave should I still attend his church I lead the praise and worship and i'm also the secretary i'm gonna start a A magazine called the gospel gossip We exposed the fraudulent pastors That's something to start me Hey, let me get my investor The gospel gossip because now see that's i'm the wrong one because Do you to ask that kind of question because I'm the wrong one to ask that kind of question because when jesus went in that church and he flipped over them tables I have a righteous indignation and one thing I don't like is a pastor who is a man of the cloth who up there on the stage Manipulating deceiving cheating lying and dealing like that. So me personally If it was me I'd be on the local news pastor such and such Is dating his members and lying and cheating and dogging Stop paying tithes and stop going to the church that if it was me So that's why i'm the wrong person to ask that So I say pray on Pray on pray for ask god to deal with him and go and leave the church because guess what if you got a pastor that's single And he dating the members and can't even treat the members right who he dating Ain't no god not in that church. God ain't even in there. You ain't even getting the word You ain't getting the word Look at what what share said y'all better listen to share say she ain't learning nothing If she there dating the pastor you not even getting the word in there Y'all in there you singing the praise and worst thing getting past that ceiling Because because the because the past ain't right. So you got to get on out of there. So you could so you could heal god You could sit in your car have a church service and your car that's better than church service y'all having in that church Have a boy who is still a version What advice to give he said girl's always coming Into him onto him help Hey now You got to show them the repercussions Okay, so what you got to do is go to some uncles to some cousins to some people who Who have baby mommas who got baby mama drama who got who've had you know Out of wedlock and you got to sit him down with them Let them talk to him about all the troubles about child support But all them struggles about all them things going on event price. God bless you bless you event price Let them talk to him. Let them and then what I do what I do my son about to turn 13 We're going away for like three nights to seven nights and I'm showing them everything we on google You hit me. I'm showing them the pictures of the the diseases I'm showing the pictures of all of this here stuff falling off stuff Hacking up all this. I'm showing the pictures of what it'll do when you out here will it nearly You hit me and so you got to take them through a real what I call real man university And just let them talk to the people when you don't have all the words You got to introduce them to people who can say listen man keep doing what you're doing because this ain't what you want My 65 year great aunt prayed for a godfair man to be faithful She even put put out a plate every day for a year For breakfast lunch and dinner met a 55 year old who ran off with her money Mariah William, thank you for sharing that because That's why I try to tell y'all, you know, I believe in prayer. I believe in prayer But what you got to understand is Faith without works is dead. So see what she's trying to say this her great aunt because She was praying for the man But she wasn't preparing for the man. What I mean by that is she didn't get no life coach She didn't go to a seminar. So she didn't go to the retreat. She didn't she didn't really learn how to read the red flags So she was praying for it and guess who hit your prayers the devil the devil hit your prayers too I'm gonna send somebody right to you Anytime you pray the devil hit your prayers and he finished sending you a distraction that looked like destiny He finished sending you a distraction that looked like destiny and if you are not prepared Meaning if you ain't read up study it up and truly prepare mentally With knowledge of what you're looking for you're gonna get to see I told him, can you please help me what to do when a man makes excuses To see his daughter I don't I don't know what you're saying if he's saying he'd make excuses to see her or make excuse to not see her But the end but the end of the story is whichever way it is is you protect You protect your daughter So was that was good and right for her heart? If you're a good man, and he and he doing the right thing Let him be there if he not if he's causing stress chaos worry pain Block him and let him go get a quarter order I met a guy And on our first conversation he stated I just want to let you know I'm not looking for anything serious. How should I respond? um I just want to let you know that This is gonna be our last date. Thank you That's how you got to respond when a man tell you and see this hot guys Sleep at night the reason how men sleep at night grown boys The way grown boys could sleep at night is because they telling you On the first date they ain't looking for nothing serious You you hear that And you keep dealing with them and then you end up on your back and then He acting funny or he disappeared and you like what what happened? And he like I told her on the first date. I wasn't looking for nothing But she kept on talking to me And she looking for something So she started treating me like a boyfriend now we friends with benefit and Now she acting now she acting crazy looking looking like who shot John and forgot to kill him Because I don't want to deal with her no more I don't got what I wanted and I ain't even want that wasn't even good. You see what I mean? That's what happened all the time Shanice Shanice God bless you bless your heart What to expect from a coaching call never had one before just signed up for one on monday Um, each coach is different each coach is different But essentially it's it's a listening session where the coach is listening to you You sharing everything the coach is prompting you with questions. The coach is like a helper like a Um accountability partner like a motivational friend Who's who's just kind of helping support you and guide you and lead you to where You need to be and then confirming with you Your intuition that you feeling and what you all the thing helping you create a plan Helping you think through some things create a plan So it's it's really like a sdb all day long. God bless you. God bless you. I really appreciate that Uh listen listen linda linda love listen linda. God bless you. God bless you Listen linda God bless you showed up bless I'm single now recently divorced I'm single now recently divorced been aired out Have been doing work to make me better doing coaching Life mentor want to be back with my ex and will jump through hoops to make it happen. No games now Oh, this uh This a brother. Okay. Okay. I'm just so used to getting questions from From from women. I thought this was a woman saying she read it a jump through hoops Um champion This what you have to as a man. This what you got to ask yourself as a man Is it too little too late? That's what you got to ask yourself because and and this what you got to realize on this hill situation is You got to be able to say okay Did I take her for granted so long That I don't really truly deserve her back that I heard her so many times now If it was like one serious thing that happened two serious things Her heart still has more to give a lot of women give a whole lot more than that three four five six seven eight nine 10 chances But this what it is though You can't you cannot do what's comfortable. You can't just do what's comfortable to get a woman back You got to go above and beyond so what I mean is If what's comfortable for you is one coaching session, you got to do 12 You see what I mean because one coaching session, let's say you spent 25 dollars Let's say you went to my mentor dot life and you spent 25 dollars. That ain't nothing That's not an investment. You see what I mean And I I don't recognize your name my coaching session is 250 dollars an hour And so that's the investment Now on there You ain't gonna hear what you want to hear a lot of time because it's gonna be real real real real on there All my clients could tell you it's real When we on there, but see when she see that now she say whoa, okay, okay? Okay, cool It's kind of like getting a woman a ring got the bubblegum machine And then getting a woman a diamond ring out of case or sales. She's like, oh, this is different This is a different thing So that's what you got to realize So you're gonna have to go above and beyond and you're gonna have to let her know to what you're doing and then Also, what you're gonna have to do is you're gonna have to walk different talk different look different smell different What I mean by that is these are allen god bless you god bless you pull out pull out in life What I mean by that is when y'all have a conversation and she responds a certain way The the way that you used to respond You can't respond like that now because now you the same man So you got to grow and you got to say, okay the way I used to respond was like this I'm changing that for good. That's gone forever. And now I'm gonna respond like hey, okay. I respect that God bless You see what I mean versus in the past you may guilt trip you may try to coerce So you got to do everything different as well I just told my ex that I'm going through 90 days of healing. I plan on taking some coaching classes I feel myself becoming toxic um, so for one The mistake you made right there is telling your ex that you're going through 90 days of healing You'll never tell your ex what you're doing never let that so moving forward Don't tell your ex what you're doing you do coaching you do whatever don't tell your ex none of your business Because now that you just told your ex that he gonna get you 90 days On day 92 he coming back to try you with the biggest test He never tried you with just to see if that 90 days work just to see how much power he got So you just set yourself up for a big test So be ready for it be ready for it and it may look very very very promising That test may look very promising. You hear me? And so you got to be ready for it and You got to you got to do some coaching And and bounce around on coaching my coaching might not be for you Uh, you might do coaching with john jane sue and jolly Um, their coaching might not be for you So you got to keep going till you find the right fit for you And at the end of the day, it's all investment in yourself. You learning something even if you learn one thing Why would a man Ask back for a gift he gave you after breaking from one and a half year relationship give back to him Get back to him. Don't you worry about why you asked about he asked for it back because he a grown boy Y'all breaking up because he a grown boy get back to him. You don't want it because It's it's symbols and things like that mean something That's why people in certain cultures They make symbols and they build certain images and they do that because those things represent something So if if you leave somebody and you keep this ring That's that ring keep you in bondage. You got to take this hill. I can't even get my ring Oh, you see how that the high pink up under there I keep the ring on so much, but you got to take this. Uh, okay. I got a hey, here you go There you go Thank you. Bye Just like that And you got to take that necklace off take that watch off everything he gave you get back to him Because what it lets him know is what it lets him know is you don't own me You can't buy me and Nothing that you brought in here Mean anything to me because I can get my own and that's the mistake that a lot of women make They they want to break up with the man, but want to keep everything that he bought And so he that lets him know I got him because materialistic stuff means something to So let me go get a better bag. Let me go spend more money. You see what I mean Then that's what's gonna happen. I'm a nurse practitioner. I can afford your coaching. Thanks for your help a Montree you show can most because of the rate of my coaching most of my clients are doctors and lawyers and Corporate professionals Some some are college students who who's sacrificing, you know on a credit card, but they that serious about life But just due to my time Right now my rate is supposed to be 375 an hour and i'm coaching at 250 an hour just to try to help more people But um the market In the real market my discount rate supposed to be 375 an hour So i'm up under my discount rate 125 dollars trying to so I could reach more people but If you're a nurse practitioner and can afford and you didn't yet You're missing something you're missing something but I looked I'm a skeleton look like it's booked till April So it looked like all the marches is is gone and um But that's not all just because of coaching It's also because i'm i'm working with some sports teams in march On behalf of at tish cody and myself same question. Can you please speak on triggers? after leaving a relationship And how to overcome them triggers still arise Even while working on myself um When you when you was in a relationship that was t You know the word do you the t word can use all the words on youtube? um when you know That you can't go through that by yourself. You need an accountability partner You got to think about it how when people go to such and such anonymous such and such anonymous those groups to help them heal And help them overcome that past addiction when they go through that They have an accountability partner. They have a sponsor that they can call So that's that's what you need. You got to get to a place to where you say, okay, look I can invest a hundred dollars a month into myself. There's a coach right here on my mentor that life That's 25 hours an hour. I'm gonna do one session a week at 25 hours an hour So that anytime a trigger anytime you trigger boom There you have a session that week That you can talk through it and talk about it and be affirmed and be reinforced and life can be spoken into you See the thing about it what our society is and just what our people is And when I say our people I mean the human race I'm not talking about black people because I'm black I'm talking about the human race the thing about people is we want things to just make sense And we want things to just be easy and we want to just be able to get over But you really got to do the work when I change my life. Let me tell you something This is gonna sound crazy to you when I change my life. I listen to to youtube videos and podcasts for 10 hours a day 10 hours a day if people come to me and say Oh Tony 59 minute long video Who has time for that? Guess what you ain't got time to grow You ain't got time to change people people come to me my friends and all if they come to me and say AT man, how man, how you got the over 50 streams of income Man, how you change your life like that, man How you was in the streets hustling and and you was lost and you was with all these Women you was sleeping around all these women and now you're a one woman, man And you've been married 13 years man. How you did that? Man, I can't I can't stop I put it in the work I put it in the work. I remember buying seminar tickets that was $1,300 you hear me Books on top of books audio books. I don't read books. I listen to audio Some people like to flip the page. I like listening to audio But what I'm saying is you got to do and an insane amount of work It's gonna seem insane. So it's some of you that watch my video every day And if I miss a day you watched the one from yesterday again To be honest with you. I'm gonna just be honest with you those the people that's gonna win because Study show you got to hear Something 16 times to even truly commit it to long-term memory So that's what you're gonna have to realize Do you do couples coaching? Yes, you got to go on my mentor dot life though But and in for my mentor dot life if you don't see My page is on my mentor dot life on one of the coaches on there If you don't see availability on that calendar Email in to support at tonigascans.com support or you just go to tonigascans.com Click on the little search menu up there And then click on book Tony and then you'll see coaching And you fill out a form and it comes in Um to my assistant and then she'll take and you know Get you signed up But I do do couples coaching, but I don't recommend couples coaching But I recommend individual coaching Because the individuals need to heal and to learn and to grow So you do coaching as an individual what what couples coaching typically is is a woman dragging a man in there And it just it doesn't work Whereas as a woman if you take and make some changes yourself on your own When you change your environment has to change So when you change he has to respond differently because you given a new action every action Has an equal or greater reaction. So when you change you he has to change And if you change you and he doesn't change that lets you know that he's not going to change for you regardless So I don't really recommend couples coaching Just because it literally typically just turns into an argument on the phone He said she said and y'all bickering at each other and and i'm just sitting there and then what also happens is Sometimes a woman needs to hear things for herself and sometimes a man needs to hear things for himself That the other person doesn't hear because sometimes you need game for you that the other person doesn't hear Because so then they can counteract it and so it kind of puts the The professional in a tough position because it's hard to tell you what you need to hear because what you need to hear might be listen you in a very This this this this type relationship with this this this type of person You got to get gone Like that might be what what the conclusion is but with you dragging this person on that don't even want to be there Then now you can't even hear that Vanessa god bless you the three bees made me be honest with myself And set some new goals. Thanks for sharing wisdom tony love from toronto. God bless. Hey Bless you. Bless you Vanessa. I'm glad that you Listen to the old three bees um, I made those up while I was writing the book Um, just like the 72 hour rule I made that up while I was writing the book Um, I say that to say that I have to come up with a name for my concepts and for my teachings As I'm writing the book and the three bees I felt like encompasses with brain brain body uh, look at a little connect A little connect know that thing been listening brain brain and body encompasses everything, you know, your faith and your belief system your religion goes into brains Also, that's also a part of your brain And then your brain just just who you are as a person what you're doing your work your job your career and then your body How you take care of yourself who you giving your body to who you're lying down. What what are you eating? What are you drinking? Everything is encompassing that Hey, y'all, I got about eight more minutes. I ain't got a watch on me. Hold on right quick I'm gonna turn on this hill to prove it on so I can see you at that time. Listen to my son play at um 130 so I just need to make sure I'm on time All right, I've seen the question question What if I was with him within a few days of officially meeting My neighbor I flew off the handle after he told me it wasn't serious one weekend Now seeing cars pull up is painful knocks me down With him within a few days of officially meeting. Okay. Okay Yeah, that's a lesson. That's a lesson. That's why I tell y'all right there So and this is the thing. This is the thing. Let me let me help you understand how a man thinks Let me help you understand how a man thinks if if you meet a man and you're with him within a few days That becomes your resume That becomes who you are And so one weekend he says it's not serious The reason why he said that and this is what I try to help women understand because some women want to believe that A man is not judging them like this every man is judging you like this regardless of what his r&b song says Regardless of what his bumper sticker says regardless of what comes out of his mouth Every man is judging you by how fast he was able to be with you So when he meets you and he with you within a few days. Okay, this what his mind does He cannot articulate this articulation is a gift So every man is not going to be able to articulate to you What his mind is doing, but let me help you understand something. Okay, we're finna do 365 divided by three That's 121 365 days in a year divided by three days meaning you was with him within a few days divided by three days is 121 point six what that means is In his mind you have that you sleep with 121 men a year Because he does not feel special So he says, okay If she will do this to with me within a few days What about all of the men that are taller than me more muscular than me more money than me look better than me Better talk game than me What about all of those so that's what he said So he says if she'll do this with me and for me within three days That's 121 men a year for her He's not gonna say Oh, I'm so sex. I look so good That's why I've got it in three days. Can't no other man do that He's not gonna say that He's not gonna say that he's gonna judge you all for what you did for him and with him And then you say you flew off the handle when he told you It's not serious One weekend. He said this ain't even serious and you say you flew off the handle Now again that right there shows a lack of emotional intelligence. It shows frustration. It shows desperation Beyond thirsty. That's dehydration. That's what it shows. So now he want to he won't take off because he's like, whoa I'm gonna end up on a lifetime movie on a lifetime moving network and so So in order to get past that guess what you got to do what you're doing right now You got to hear the unadulterated truth Over and over and over and over video Podcast books coaching session you got to hear it until you are renewed till your mind is renewed until you start to see the world differently you start to move differently And you start to move differently Then you're going to be like, okay Okay I'm learning. I'm learning. So Let me stay off my back. No matter how good his cologne smell No matter how amazing the date was. Let me stay off my back. Ain't no man coming in my place Um past six p.m Past eight p.m. Ain't no man coming in And we ain't doing no in the house dates. We ain't doing no backseat other car dates We're going bowling skating Whatever Out and about ain't no tongue kissing. We ain't friends kissing. We might get a little peck on the lip A little peck on the forehead a little peck on the cheek. And so you set your boundaries I got a video called how to date correctly. Watch that video and you're gonna see Highton and the guy I'm dating have road rage, but he is so sweet to his his family to my but But it's mean and rude to the world. What can I say to him? To calm down listen to me Listen to me. That's a telltale sign Listen to me. Why are you talking? I'm sitting here tying up my track shoes now. I'm up here I pull my hamstring reading that question. I'm running so fast. Listen to me That's how you watch a man remember. I told y'all this remember. I told y'all this You don't it's not about what a man says to you. It's not about what you ask him It's what you see him do Now let me help you understand this When we went when I'm on the road and somebody do some crazy they cut me off And they cut me off. They do some crazy My hand on the steering wheel I'm like, whoa, wow man That person does what's going on? Hey, man, you better get your life together. Lord bless him man She probably just went through a divorce man. Her mama probably just passed away. That's how I respond So that's how a healthy emotionally intelligent man responds Now if I'm upset by some something going on in my life Then I might get on that horn now. I'm never gonna Roll down the window shoot. No work. No bird. Now I might get on that horn Let that horn sting like that for a little bit, but that's it. But I can't remember the last time I did that I can't remember the last time I did that So when you see a man That's when you that's how you could tell if somebody christian or not in how they drive On a roll rage. That's how you can tell if somebody's saying or not how they handle the roll rate Cheyenne god bless you Thank you. Cheyenne bless me to remind y'all Don't forget to hit the like button on the video Hey, god bless. Well, you need people like y'all Cheyenne Now so listen to this With that with that right there with that roll rate. That's a tell-tale sign. So so what I'm gonna do on that right there I'm finna watch some things and you say he got his own and you got your own um My game at 130 it's 12 30. I said I'm gonna leave at 12 30, but um, it don't take me 15 minutes to get there Taking two minutes get dressed got chained pan. So I got a few more. I got a few more minutes here Now, let me help you understand something about this because you got to be able to watch here Okay, and you got to be able to pay attention to what he's not saying And then what you're gonna have to do a I'm out of here, brother Hey, brother, what's what's going on? What's going on brother? how you Uh, what's up with his roll rate? Because that worries me that worries me that that scares me you you need to work on that because if you're doing this with a complete stranger I'm I'm concerned with after you get comfortable with me and mine Because see you got your some of yours So you got to be careful because that's what he's telling you so everything else could be an act In front of you, but then what you see him on roll rate. That's the real him Because if that ain't in him it ain't coming out of him I have a date tonight. He wants to pick me up. Do I drive myself or have him pick me up The fact that you asking that question. Let me know that this new You drive yourself dry yourself. Don't ever let a man that ain't your man know where you live All right, Tony gasses. I want to do a coaching session with you um email support At tony gassing.com sign up for coaching somebody told me my mentor dot life my calendar booked up on there I I talked to the developer to see if we can stretch the calendars out that can book out like two months, but I'll ask you a lot of my breath, um So email support at tony gaskins.com All right, 1231 I got about 15 more minutes and so And my assistant will get you right Tony you have changed my life completely I consider you my life coach even though I am not paying for sessions. Although also I study Aerodology and I can see your health problems by looking at your eyes Hey, don't come on here speaking that know me now. I ain't got no health problem Now see what you see right here up under my eyes is for one This is lighting and it's a yellow light. So my so my eyes is not the color that they are Okay, because it's a yellow light. So saying I rebuke that in the name of Jesus. I'm a perfect bill of health Okay, I go to the doctor. I ain't my heart working right everything And then what you also see under my eyes I don't have these since I was a baby. My five-year old got the same thing. We just got naturally low set uh saggy baggy eyes so uh That spirit speaking through you get on up out of there because I ain't never heard of aerodology So don't come over here speaking nothing on me. I am healthy. You and me and doing good This is a yellow light around here around this little camera. So that's why my eye looking the way they look right now Okay, God bless you. Are you gonna go and get up out of here? Spirit come on here trying to speak to me. I'm doing good. I drank 16 bottles of water a day Ask somebody about it. You better hear me Any advice tips on how to discover my purpose? true calling Working on the three V's Discover my purpose and true calling. What you got to do Is serve? I have a course on tony gaskins academy dot com tony gaskins academy dot com called entrepreneur with purpose and in there I walk you through how you identify your gifts and how you identify your passions And then you see where you can marry Your gifts with your passions and where they could be married Now you're able to identify where you can serve And what you have to remember is that purpose? I believe uh Somebody said this purpose is rooted in service So you just have to serve. So what I'm doing right now. I'm on here and I'm serving Now what you're going to find about your purpose is you're going to serve But you're also going to be able to be paid to serve what I mean by that is Even with a nonprofit you can have a nonprofit organization Which is set up to help People in need Well, when you start raising funds and doing gallows and events Guess what in a nonprofit you get to give yourself a salary So even though you live in your purpose You get to Give yourself a salary and so that even in purpose which is service you still will be able to Make a living you still will be able to The the the world god Whatever you call it god bless you for being a blessing So sometimes people go in and they say look this person works in this industry And I want to work in that industry of helping this group of people. So let me find how I could serve And you may go and serve And then they say listen, we got an opening came up in our company Here is And it pays 75,000 a year it might pay 25,000 you serve there you say, okay I'm gonna do that. This is where I want to be working Then they come and say hey, we're gonna promote you this 50,000 Hey, 7500 you see what I mean? And so I have learned that by living my purpose when I started doing this I did this for years Without really a red dime You hear me and then over time I started learning how I could do it full time I started learning how I could live my purpose and feed my family So I want you to understand that that purpose is rooted in service Yonkers says you got a hard time 9 also on the eye comment me and my wife we was out last night And they had something called a pina greasio a pina greasio or something and That lady had brought about four glasses over there and I'm like, you know, what is this that you bring and um And then we was up about one o'clock two o'clock in the morning. And so that's another reason to a G or ivy Listen to me my daughter is jesus. Okay, and you're not scaring me my daughter is g I go to dr. Jesus. I ain't got no internal health problems. Okay I like to take any kind of test you want me to take and you got no internal health problem. Okay So you so you need to check that iridology. You got to remember now that iridology God ain't made that up Human made that up. Okay So now I have a coaching session with you this Monday debating whether I should take first coaching session by myself or include My bd as well. You need to do it by yourself. You need to do it by yourself. I hate to tell people that But you need to do it by yourself when I got to leave and I'm gonna be done at 75 it's on 67 32 because What you also got to realize is energy you didn't say I don't know if I need to include my husband That I'm in love with You said, I don't know. I need to know if I need to include my baby daddy Just that energy just baby daddy energy your whole call thrown off Because the energy just the way he answered a question, you know, just the way he answered a question just the way You know, just his energy his tone. It's going to be striking up stuff in you It's going to be striking up stuff in you and you're going to be feeling You might start crying. You might get angry. You might, you know, go to getting hurt And so I always recommend at least two to four sessions by yourself before bringing a partner or a ex or a Spouse on the session so that you get what's for you I need to plug for the credit info now when I mentioned the credit I and I thought that out there that ain't what my client charged and I don't know if she even gonna do that now, okay But just email in to support at tonigasin.com and I Send you that information. I just can't I don't be doing all that kind of promo and stuff online And I don't know the website or nothing off hand So I have to ask her and phone number because because she had you called in to her office and the assistant talk to your body Oh, Deidre Allen. Thank you that. Thank you for that Why this focus on Tony eyes and not his message. You don't diagnose anyone without being an md or testing. That's crazy Hey, you know how to help people She she probably me no harm but me The doctor could tell me something and I'm tell the doctor to use a lie Satan get thee behind me How do I pre-order the book? I'm in johannesburg, South Africa. Um, your your your bookstore I don't know if it's called chapters or whatever it's called You have to go into the bookstore and they they should be able to get it online for you and bring it in I've heard on Sex is so much to the point. I'm sick of hearing it from a man's perspective is being Sexy all about sex Let me look at you with my good eye. I can't really see you but um Uh misty Lou um Yeah, that's all it's about Because if a man don't know you That's all it's about but I'll tell you this right here You really can't believe nothing man say Until that's your husband and until you don't put them through all your tests all your personality tests all your character tests All that you can't you can't take it serious. It's just a What what a man talking about You know, it's it's game. Did you have a spiritual awakening when god revealed to you your purpose? Um, no, I wouldn't say that it was earth shattering or it was you know, something that just kind of shook me to my core It was just a natural progression. It was a Step by step day by day just like a little inkling that said, you know, you love to write You can write you can write you can write so Go ahead and write jay dilla in here something one of y'all might be my wife in here Yeah, your wife in here jay dilla, but you better not be in here with another spirit Yeah, I'm spirit right now Which I think jay dilla he's trying to show on improving that He a good man. He be on all the videos. He comment on all the videos and Uh, youtube ain't got no dating section yet. So I don't know how to connect y'all. So I don't know How y'all be able to you know connect But what I was saying is I just I just started using my gifts and one thing you got to realize is that God gonna use your gifts He's not gonna use, you know, somewhere that you not gifted in he's gonna use your gift So what I'm doing right now reading questions and answering questions off the top of my head In my area Not every single human can do it a lot a lot of humans can but not everybody can And so that's when you know, it's a gift when you can do something that not everybody can do When when when you can talk on a subject for an hour when you could write a 300 page book in five days Those are things that I can do. I had to realize Not everybody can do that. So I had to say, okay How can I use this gift for good? Because see I could come on here and not to knock a sports analyst or whatever But I could come on here and talk for an hour about breaking down the lakeers game That ain't changing nobody's life though That is not changing anybody's life. So if I could talk for an hour I'm gonna use them words to move the culture forward to move the world for for and that's where You use your gifts for purpose And and that's where god is gonna honor your work He's gonna pull out. How else see youtube youtube taking put um What they taking do youtube taking put uh put um ads on the videos So i'm doing i'm in my purpose You watch the video for free But youtube take and turn it into a business And they say well, hey, we got companies want to advertise on these videos. So Let's put an ad on these videos. So now what I would do for free What I did for free from uh 2007 Now all of a sudden in 2019 YouTube started sending me real checks. So this is what I was doing from 2007 And so that's what I say about using your gifts Definitely. I'm about to release my book soon. You gave me the courage to tell my story. Thanks a million. Hey, tell your story I started I told my story. I was 22 years old When I told my story and look what it turned into Everybody got a story people people always say tonal. Well, what qualifies you what makes you this what makes you that I just had the audacity to do That's what qualifies me is that I do when others won't do It ain't that I'm smarter. Ain't that I'm better. Ain't that I'm more favor. It's just I had the audacity to do the faith to do And and because I did He moved How you add a profile pic on here you can you can youtube that how to add a profile pic to my youtube Somebody did a video on it. You could google it if you don't have to log in to youtube click on settings And then you could put your picture up How do I work on my temper besides prayer? I'm very composed, but when upset can be very blunt This would turn off me and I assume um Being blunt and having a temper is two different things I'm blunt But this is not a temper. I'm being blunt with every question I answer But it's not a temper being blunt with a man and telling him how you feel telling him like a isl That's not a temper. So you got to understand that jesus christ was blunt Jesus christ said some stuff to people that were so direct Jesus told that the the the the What this man was The prime minister whoever he was listen to me Playboy You only got the power that my father in heaven allows you to have that what jesus told the man if man held his life In his hand. So the man thought And jesus told him you can't do nothing to me other than what my father allowed Jesus told them people a you go tell them fox and them vipers that I said this you see what I mean so Being blunt is not the same as having a temper having a temper is Throwing stuff around slamming stuff breaking stuff you breaking plates, but if you tell a man listen You are no good. Sorry man. And it's the last day you ever gonna talk to me That's not a temper. That's what you need to have. Hey god bless y'all. I got to go my My fire. Yo got a baseball game today And um when I get back man, we off today. So I'm trying to accommodate y'all for the the sundays the lives that I missed Trying to accommodate you and um because I promise the bless tribe I'll do some q and a's because even though your question may not get answered. Hopefully somebody else question helps you Uh, so I might do another live later on today. I'm not sure I got I got to see we might have to go to the office Put my new uh put put the my mentor dot life thing on the wall in in the corporate office and um But I'll probably make shoot another video Just like a static video to upload for later today's last day of the month And and we don't have 31 days this month and and I missed some days this month And I try to promise that I'll do a video a day And the reason being is because I know it's a lot of people hanging You know hanging in the balance And trying to get it together and and my videos might be the only Coach they have might be the only voice or reason that they have So that's why I'm trying to show up and really be here on a daily basis because I work for myself I you know, I this this what I do for a living so Was was so in one hour a day Out of 24 hours. It's not that much. So I thank y'all so much. God bless you And um, thank you to to to the last Um sister speech is speech who just blessed me with that dollar. God bless you and and I will um I post I don't know if I post it if I'm gonna go live again today So don't count on it, but I might get the chance like I got to check with my wife God bless you. We'll talk soon. Oh And last before I leave everybody make sure you visit my mentor dot life If you need a Tiffany bless it if you need a life coach visit my mentor dot life Um, it's coaches all walks of life on there All walks of life all different type of coaching categories on there my mentor dot life And lastly make sure that you go in and you pre-order Now it authorizes your card, but it don't charge your card the authorization to fall off in a couple days You actually won't get charged till April 6th Did come out April 7th. It's called a woman's influence Me and my wife book and um, I want to I want her to feel you know That she matters. I want her to know how important she is. So I wrote make it work by myself I wrote make it work by myself. But my wife she added two to three pages Of her take on every chapter in this book So I want her book that she a part of To I sell make it work So that she also understand and realize a woman's influence So pre-order that You call to be charged in April April 6th. God bless you. We'll talk soon I'm gonna post a story I'm gonna post a story from the baseball game. So y'all know I made it