 this terrifies the narcissist When they discard you, you know a lot of you might think Yes, you are dealing with a narcissist Someone who is self-absorbed. They lack empathy the very arrogant and entitled And yes, that may be true But that doesn't mean that they can just move on and forget about you and they're gonna have this smooth transition Where they no longer think about you you don't even cross their mind and they've got this new person and everything's good No, it doesn't work that way Because a Lot of times this isn't their first time moving from one person to the next. They've done this before so They've likely had bad experiences in the past where they moved on to someone and they did regret their decision in the past so this is a big thing and Yes, it could potentially be very dangerous for their new source of supply Because they may think that they're building something with the narcissist But meanwhile the narcissist is looking back at what they had with you Of course in most situations they do everything they can to destroy you before they move on But they're always looking back. They're always watching you. They're studying you To see if you can pull yourself together To see if you can clean up the mess they left behind And yes, they are Constantly watching you examining your life watching you on social media watching you wherever you may be And what they're looking for is to see are you happy and healthy are you living a comfortable life Are you staying in a nice place? Do you have plenty of spare cash laying around? Are you in good shape? Are you taking good care of yourself? Are you dressed well? Are you looking good smelling good? Are you driving a nice car? Remember we're talking about narcissists here people who overly concerned about themselves their appearances and Just their own self-interest in general of course these types of people they're always looking for the bigger better deal The next shiny new toy That doesn't always have to be a new toy Sometimes it may just be a toy that they left on the shelf Because yes, they take you for granted They treat you like you ain't about nothing things happen and The things they do it affects your life They assume that you're going down. You're finished. You're all washed up Of course, that's why they do that They devalue you they destroy you as much as they can Because it terrifies them just the thought that They've left you behind now they're moving on Into this next situation which they think is going to be better for them And then they look back if they check on your social media And it's like well Chris is getting better He's improving his life He's making more money now. He's happier. He's healthier. He's got a lot of good things going on Yes, the narcissist looks back sometimes at their past endeavors and They compare it to their new situation Especially just as they're entering it Because they want to know Did I make the right decision? Of leaving them behind And of course they will entertain it They are opportunists so If they start to see that things are getting better for you Of course, it's gonna cross their minds. I mean it would for Anyone not just narcissists anyone would think if they've just left one situation They had an opportunity to continue that But they made the choice to move on into something else And then they look back and it's like They're rexed just got promoted They're making a lot more money. They've got a new house. They've got a new car They're going to the gym they're getting fitter and healthier of course for anyone they are going to Connect these things in their minds and they're gonna think Hold on a minute Maybe that would have been a much better situation for me Maybe I would have had it a lot better then Because what happens a lot of times as they move on to these other situations Yeah, it looks bright from the outside it looks like they're going into something good and then they get into it And before you know it they're staying in this new person's house It's nothing like they thought it would be Maybe this new person doesn't have much money to take care of them, which is what they would normally like so They could be in some shabby place Not what they expected it to be Maybe the Furniture is all torn up the stains on the carpet Maybe there's a lot of cockroaches or spiders and And Yeah, they don't get to eat out all the time like they did with you sorry about that there are lots of Modified cars and bikes around you, so I just wait for them to pass It's very difficult to find a quiet space as you probably noticed But there is a nice view here But yes on to the topic Yeah, they may have had a really luxury lavish life with you You may have taken them on trips You may have taken them to restaurants all the time maybe three times a week You're going out to all the nice restaurants and even when you're not doing that you're getting takeaways Don't have to slave around on the stove cooking something up Or they didn't have to do that Didn't have to clean everything up all of this stuff It was an easy life Nothing to think about no real worries everything was good Now they might have moved on into another situation where Maybe all the eats is instant noodles every day Did his go to the shop pick up some instant noodles Eat it up and that's that that's their dinner But then when they were with you You were taking them out to restaurants having takeaways all of that good stuff. They were eating well They were looking well. They were looking fit healthy. Their skin was glowing And everyone could see it and it made them feel so good inside For everyone to see that yes I'm living well. I'm doing good. I'm happy I'm being taken care of Which of course is what every narcissist wants It's for someone to come along and take care of them give them everything they want give them a good life and I mean this goes for anyone when you think about it it really does especially these days we all want someone Who makes us feel happy healthy Of course we want that No one wants to be around someone who's keeping them down You don't want to be with someone if they're making you worse If they're your quality of life is going down Just by you being with them of course Most people don't want that They want to be around someone who is Well groomed Someone who takes very good care of themselves someone who You know they they have their heads on Every couple of weeks they For the men for the women who are watching this you might like a man who saves every day Takes good care of his skin. He exfoliates He wears nice clothes Dresses appropriately Maybe has a decent job Not always we can pay everything for you, but it's it's just about that You know you want to feel proud of the person that you're with You don't want to be with someone that you're ashamed of someone you don't want to meet your friends or family You want to be around someone who presents themselves well and not only that but someone who communicates well someone who Just overall looks after themselves cares about their life Of course, this is just generally what people look for in a partner and Yeah, the point I'm getting to is that I Already know a lot of you if you were targeted by narcissists as I've said before pick the best of the best so Yeah, I've seen in a lot of my clients a lot of you are very beautiful people a Lot of you have good jobs. I've spoken to Lawyers doctors psychotherapists Even some celebrities Artists musicians I've talked to all sorts of people and Yeah, it's very clear what narcissists are looking for in a target As I've said before a lot of times they do downgrade They move on to something that is nothing in comparison to what you were But you may be thinking How could they be so stupid? I mean if what I'm saying is true, of course, it's true everything I've seen from my clients and All of the stories that I've heard about their work and everything they're doing in their lives, of course Yes, it is true that Most of the time these narcissists do go down They move on to someone who is in a far worse position Than you when they were with you and this is even the case even after they've tried to destroy you Because a lot of you you managed to pick things back up as well, but yeah, that's typically How it goes and they are terrified of this happening because of course They just make some luck like absolute fools It really does Because a normal person we want to progress in our lives. We want things to get better And of course when they look back After they let go of that opportunity with you And then they end up moving on to something that's worse for them, of course across is their mind and a lot of them They may wish that they could come back And be around you again Where they had this easy comfortable life Everything was laid out for them. They had nothing to worry about And now they may be in a situation where there's a lot of stress They're so stressed out worrying about Maybe they've got to work a 95 job All day every day Just making peanuts. They're just getting by and Some situations they're working all of our time making all that money just so they can give it To the other person Because the other person may be in a bad situation. So they may be being manipulated By someone else they may be with someone who is narcissistic Someone who's just using them for money or whatever it may be not someone who actually cares about them Especially not in the way that you did Because that's typically how it goes is that You are likely the only person in their entire life who actually gave it down about them and everyone else is just Maybe they just see an opportunity. They see something where it could make their lives better By being around the narcissist but already knowing fully well that it's not gonna be any good for them They already know it's gonna put them in a worse situation But as I said they do sometimes end up with other narcissists manipulate the scammers corn artist They ended up getting tricked sold a dream and then they realize oh shit. This is not What I thought it was This is not what they told me it would be that happens a lot More than you will know but a lot of times you won't even see it because they don't want you to see that They'd rather just give you the illusion make you think no no no We are moving on to something better It's much better than what I had with you And you might see them on social media I've got these big smiles. They look like they're having a great time without you If only you could be a fly in the wall if only you could be a fly on the wall Trust me if you could see what's going on behind the scenes You wouldn't even care Actually Of course many of you are empaths You might feel very bad for them you might be wishing that you could reach out and Give them another chance because you feel so bad If you could be a fly in the wall if you could see what's going on behind the scenes Because a lot of them they end up in very poor living conditions And they just make it ends me They're just not experiencing a good overall quality of life not like they were when they were with you and Yeah, you know, they're very grandiose so they know how to portray these things They might Know that they all have these little tactics They might go and test drive a car maybe they'll test drive a Porsche pick a punch take a bunch of pictures with it and They'll put that up on social media Even though they haven't actually paid anything for it They might go to hotels and take a bunch of selfies there. I mean there's all kinds of things they can do Or they might just take a picture of the internet Something like in a nice restaurant and then just thought this should photoshop themselves into it They have all these little tactics these days to make you believe like They're actually about something they've actually moved on to something better These are all just tactics You don't see what they're doing in their everyday life And if you did yes, you might actually feel bad for them But they will still try to manipulate you and give you the illusion That they are so much happier without you Because these narcissists they have too much pride They are very self conscious They're very worried about their image and how other people see them Of course, they don't want you to think that they're going down They want you to think that yes, they've discarded you and they've moved on to something much better That's what they want you to think They don't want you to have the final words the last laugh They don't want you to have any of that Because if you had that you would make them look like a fool especially If they devalued you and then they Destroyed you they ruined you your life They ruined you financially A lot of the times they do in that because they're thinking in their minds. I don't need you anyway So I could just move on to this other situation leave you destroyed Because I don't need anything from you. That's just how Arrogance and audacious these people are Because then they move on to another situation and they're thinking What if I didn't do that? What if I treated him or her well? and I Try to help them work with them cooperate Instead of tearing them down And a lot of times I think that this is their karma. I think that this is their karma Because yes, that is completely true if they did cooperate with you and they built you up like you did for them Who knows how things would have gone. They would have lived a much better life Of course, I mean that's why they tried to do in the first place so in the end they just They shot themselves in the foot They cut off their nose despite their face That's exactly what they did. They hanged themselves Because those of you I know those of you who watch my videos We're not typically narcissistic. We're not really concerned about official things as much as they are So when you look at it, who is the one who loses out in the end? It's not really us isn't it? Because I think I speak for all of us when I say that what we want is more knowledge more wisdom more experiences And that's exactly what we've got as for the narcissist Have they really moved on to a situation with more money power and success It may look like that in the beginning, but one thing I can guarantee is that it will not last I Can guarantee that it will not last Because they're disordered. It's maladaptive They cannot experience success over a long period of time And this is across the board for narcissists. It really is because as we know narcissists They can experience short-term success because a lot of times they Con people they lie to them. They deceive them But they can't maintain it Because remember they're just taking things from other people. It's not something they're generating on their own so And a lot of times, you know, yes, they go from one person to the next trying to stay afloat They don't always run into the right people Sometimes it can be very hard to find other people like us So they have to settle for what they can get and yes, although they may wish and desire that they could Come back to you and Live that life again Although they may wish that they could do that A lot of times if you see through them You're not susceptible to them in relation. What can they do? What can they do Because the whole point is they need you to believe in the lie the illusion the false reality You've got to look at them like they're the best things in sliced bread And if you're not gonna do that they already know that it's someone else well And it will be someone who is much more of a fool than you were someone who is very Stupid and naive because you think that they would look back and see what they've done to you To realize that this is not someone that they should be what they should want to be dealing with they actually think that a Person could go around Hurt in someone doing all of these things to them and then they're gonna treat them right That doesn't make any sense They're not just gonna stop If they're finding pleasure in doing that they are not just gonna stop Because there is no other alternative Love doesn't do anything for them intimacy that doesn't interest them That's where they left you in the first place. Otherwise, I'm sure they would have stayed They left you because they were looking for a better opportunity Something superficial And a lot of times yes, they are so the dream even if they're not it doesn't last for long anyway Because as we know they dream people they wear them out they bring them down in the end so Yeah, there's just no possible way that they can move on and experience long-term success with another person They're lucky if they even even experience short-term success They're very lucky if they even get that because a lot of times, you know, it's It can be quite traumatizing for them when they leave you behind I Mean Of course, they know a great you are that's what they times you do in the first place Yeah, well, they've got to leave you behind to move on to another situation That's quite traumatic for them And they're bringing that stress in trauma trauma into the next situation It's getting quite hot over there. So I've come into the car now put myself down got Nala in the back See hello to Nala. She's just waiting until we Go to our next place another apartment But yeah, of course it is a Traumatizing experience For them, you know when they were with you and you've got to think they had such a comfortable Situation with you they lived an easy life You were doing all of these things for them You were taking care of them. Maybe you were Buying them food taking them shopping taking them to nice restaurants taking them on trips Buying them clothes We're doing all of these things for them I then to just cut that off All of a sudden when you catch on when you start confronted them Maybe they're forced to leave you because they know you see through them You can't they can't pull the wall over your eyes anymore Just imagine how traumatic that must be for them Of course, they did it to themselves, but it must be very tough It must be because The very focused on superficial things. That's all they really care about They don't really value love or intimacy It's all about what you can do for them what you can give to them So, I mean as an example narcissists in my past as you know, I Live a pretty good life I've Driven around in I Didn't even know 50 a hundred cars over the last few years Mercedes BMW Porsche Audi Range Rover all kinds of cars I've traveled around the world Malaysia Sri Lanka Thailand Vietnam South Korea Japan Travelled at all of these places And in the UK as well Scotland the Lake District all over England I've been everywhere in the UK other than Brighton and Norwich so I've traveled pretty well there and Yes, I like to eat well I eat at restaurants two times a day every day doing that for years although sometimes I do get a takeaway if I haven't got much time and Yeah, I take very good care of myself as you can probably see I Spend quite a bit of money on my hair on my makeup my clothes and I eat well I'm a vegan take very good care of myself Shave every day so you can imagine these narcissists When they came into my life It was a very Positive experience for them Typically because of how I live my lifestyle and they would automatically become a part of it They traveled around with me Got to experience a lot of the same things the same lifestyle they got to partake in that and Yeah, it's like they've just gone and upgraded from a one-star hotel to a five-star hotel or From economy to first-class That's pretty much what it's like And then they get used to it they become familiar with it they even take it for granted and Yeah, then I caught on Start to see through the illusion start to see what they were really about And they had no choice but to move on to other people and to even knows what they're doing now a lot of them but I think one of them She was like Driving some man around in a car She had to pay for his food everything Like she was babysitting And this is how a lot of them end up they may have been living well with you But then they move on to a situation that is a lot worse Even after we're complaining about you devaluing you Then they realize just how good they had it with you and it terrifies them But a lot of us we sometimes think that they just ride off into the sunset because that's how they portray it That is the whole point of this illusion It's to make you think that they're doing okay because they're very envious and jealous of you Which leads them to become competitive To where they want to show you no I don't need you I could do far better without you That's how they want you to think But the reality is they can't They can't do better without you at all And that is why a lot of times they do try to come back. They try to hoover you At least if they think they've got a chance If they know they can't what they can do is hide and lick their wounds There's not much they can do other than that But yes, this is just typically how it goes for them It's very sad because they're so arrogant and delusional They think they're the best thing since likes bread Because you took care of them you loved them But they don't realize that not everyone is going to see them in that way And not everyone even has the means To treat them that way But this is just what they get themselves into This is just how it goes and Yeah, a lot of people don't see the other side of it, but this is what it is these people they They think they're getting a better deal They want to go and target the best of the best When the reality is they were never meant to be around them in the first place because they can't Help to sustain it. They just bring people down. They destroy them And then it's very traumatizing for them as well because they got so used to a certain way of life And then they're forced to let it go Then they're forced to let it go They can bother them more than anyone else because they're so concerned with superficial things So yeah, a lot of people they don't see the other side of it, but this is what it is This is how it goes for a lot of them And I guess I would say that it's better For them to find something That's more sustainable someone who is more on their level Because if they get around the best What can they do with that? They can't help to sustain that person If a low value person Comes around a high value person All they can do is bring that person down They can't lift them up. They can't even keep them at the same level They can't They'll just end up destroying you if they haven't already So this is the other side of it. This is how it goes for these narcissists and what they have to experience They're so delusional. They don't want to accept that Maybe they just don't deserve the best Because that's the thing If you want to go and target someone who takes very good care of themselves Someone who looks good smells good The well groomed They eat the right food Maybe they're on a strict diet They train, they exercise They like to travel around They dress well They do all of these things. They care about their health Their physical health Their mental health If you want to come around a person like that You better be on the same level or at least somewhere close Because otherwise all you're going to do is bring that person down and Yeah, you may feel like you're getting a kick out of it at first But sooner or later it's going to affect you too Because then you're all going to be left with nothing as well And then what are you going to do? Because the odds are you're probably not going to find another person like that again anyway This is a message To narcissists who will probably never You can find this video or listen to it If anything they'll probably just Try and twist it around on us somehow in their minds But this is the reality of it This is it They don't want to work on themselves. They don't want to take accountability and yet they want to be around the best They want to be around The most amazing people on the face of the earth People like you or me People who have worked very hard in our lives to become the person that we are today And yet what have they done? They've done nothing They didn't do anything to get there. They didn't put in the work They just One day decided okay Yes, I admit I am ready and by default by doing that all they can do is bring you down They can't lift you up. They can't make you feel better They can't give you what you want And this is the problem. This is why a lot of these relationships fail Because Yeah, you're about it for real. You can do what they want But they can't give you what you want So you're getting the short end of the stick naturally the relationship will fall apart And a lot of them they are actually aware of this so The ones who have more experience The ones who have maybe been around a bit more And they already know what's going to happen if they get involved and Yeah, they may just stay distant Because they already know that everything they touch turns to shit While everything that you touch turns to gold So they already know if they come around you it's not going to last long anyway They already know that So they look at it like it's not even worth them investing their time Well, they could find someone who's more fool. Somebody will put up with them Someone who will put them on pedestal And see them as something great They already know that they've got a much better chance with a person like that Which is why in some cases These types of narcissists they won't even give you the time of day Because they already know it's not going to last A lot of them they are already aware of that and They already know that if they targeted you if they came around you After a certain amount of time you'd probably just get bored Or then you'd probably have your eye on something else Yes, a lot of narcissists are terrified of that as well I'm sure you will have noticed that they are very paranoid very jealous I've noticed that myself on many occasions When we're out in public together They are literally Watching my eyeballs To see where my eyes are looking When we're looking at some girl's face some girl's body whatever it is And if they think that I am they instantly get triggered And then they want to lash out at me Or try and make me jealous Because they're very paranoid they already know from the beginning that They're not good enough for you they don't deserve you They're already fully aware of that And yeah, it's because they haven't put in the work They haven't taken accountability for the mistakes in the past And yet they want to come around you and act like they're on the same level They want to come around you and do that Very delusional people Very delusional They actually think that they deserve you they be around they deserve to be around you What have they done to deserve that if they worked on themselves Do they take good care of them care of themselves physically? Are they well groomed? Are they well presented? Do they take care of their hair Their bodies Do they Have their own job do they earn money? Do they have a car? Do they have any of these things? And a lot of the times no they don't And I've experienced this myself It's pretty much like dealing with a homeless person Someone just moves from one park bench to another That's pretty much what it's like Because Yeah, they're just going around looking for someone to take care of them That's all they're doing They're not looking to be independent and You know, that's not always a bad thing That's okay. You know, I am a traditional man and I do believe that a man Should be able to Take care of his woman to some extent You know, that doesn't mean that she shouldn't have her own passions and interests She should be doing that as well But it's fine If the woman is Thinking about something long-term And she's not just coming around the man to Just quickly get something out of him and then Move on to another situation Unless of course they Make that clear from the very beginning Then that's fine. Whether it's a man or a woman If you make your intentions known in the beginning It's the other person's choice It's the other person's choice And that's the thing with a lot of these like Players they They don't tell you what you're signing up for They don't tell you that they're gonna have a bunch of other girls on the side And I've had that problem with Narciss This because you know when I was dating I've had these narcissists who come to me And I've made it very clear from the beginning It's not a relationship I want to see other people as well And what do they do they're trying to tie me down because they see me as their possession They try to control me And then they seem so offended When maybe they see on my phone I'm messaging someone else or whatever And No, no, there's nothing wrong with that That's completely different If someone makes it clear to you from the beginning that is your own choice If they're telling you that they are openly dating They're not ready to settle down And you make this delusional assumption in your own heads That's on you That's completely on you And that does not mean that you are dealing with a narcissist A narcissist is the type of person who will come to you Tell you that They're considering something long term a marriage children with you And then they go out and see other people That's completely different that is Misleading Deceptive Deceptive That is all of those things And I can quite honestly Sit here and say I have Never really done that in my entire life I mean, I think there was one time To my knowledge where I do But this was a long time ago. I was much younger I think I was 22 years old And There was this girl She was 17 Which is The legal age of the uk-16 So she was about five years younger than me I think she was in college And I had just finished university And I met her I had a few other girls on the side, but I didn't really reveal that to her And I kind of I just finished meeting one girl And then I went straight to her Within just a couple of minutes And then Yeah, she just She invited me to her house And We had sex in her bedroom This was a long time ago when I was much younger There were teddy bears, everything on the bed And then, yeah, after about 30 minutes After that, I went and met another girl Who was the girl that I was really focused on At the time, the girl that I think I did want to be with But that's really the only occasion in my life where I look back and Yes, I feel very bad about that even though I was only 22, I didn't really have much experience with women I lost my virginity when I was 22, so Yeah, that was A long time ago And I'm definitely not that same person anymore And I do regret it And Yeah, I think I got my own karma from that because I remember The girl that I moved on to She ended up Pretty sure she was a narcissist. She just discarded me Moved on to some other guy Who at the time I think he looked Quite a bit better than me, which is what she wanted And then the girl that I Pretty much just used for a one night stand I remember Once I was discarded by the narcissist. I went back on her facebook And I saw she was with some guy holding hands They were in Disneyland or something And yeah, that just kind of woke me up. I just thought, you know, that's my own fault It really was I felt very bad about that but At the same time, I was happy for her and Yeah, I look back sometimes and I think, oh You know, I thought I could have given that to her but that's just Where I was in the mind back then A young boy. I didn't have much experience now I've definitely grown and matured and I am Desiring something more long-term myself But I have been for some time, but As you know, I have Met quite a few narcissist people who just want to come around me and use me And then when I start to figure them out I leave or they leave And then they're still coming after me But yeah, that's just my story. I know I don't share my stories much I don't know if maybe that's something you've experienced yourself Maybe something that resonates with you there So I thought I'd just put that out there And Yeah, this really terrifies the narcissist When they discard you When they move on to another situation And it's something worse Than what they had with you Because they took you for granted They underestimated you Because if they really realized how good they had it with you And they weren't overestimating other people Then they probably Wouldn't have done that But they think the grass is greener on the other side And then they go there they realize The grass isn't so green after all Maybe it starts to rain And then in a lot of cases they want to come calling back to you, but that is not always an option Because sometimes they already know you're not going to take them back You're not going to take them seriously after that So then they've got no other choice but to just stick with it They might even end up getting married having children in this situation. They don't even want to be a part of it They don't even want to be a part of it Well, they have to hold on to it for their own image because they're probably just showing everyone They told everyone you're bad. Maybe they started a smear campaign They said you're no good for them This person is much better. So now they have to continue with it now Now they have no choice Even though they may be secretly desiring To be with you But now they know they can't have that anymore Yeah, it's sad, but as I said they bring it on themselves. They shoot themselves in the foot Just looking for the live chat here Chose at 11. Yes, it's all about image Everything they do is about their image. It's all ego. No soul. No heart They can't ever be Vulnerable but I have to say that is the most beautiful part about it to me It's where a person can be Vulnerable and you see the glitter In their eyes that is The best part for me Just that connection Narcissus They don't really care about that A lot of times it may make them sick Because they know they can't experience that So yes, it's all about their image The illusion Rather than what things actually are But yes If you enjoyed this video I'd like it if you could give it a thumbs up down below 96 live viewers only 44 thumbs Let's see a few more thumbs down there and Yeah Share the video Hit that subscribe button And let me know your thoughts down in the comment section Let me know if you agree with this or not Has this been your experience? and If you'd like to book a one-on-coaching session with me You can do that through my website. It is narcsurvivor.co.uk And I also have my instagram as well, narcsurvivor youtube and instagram New pictures and videos of my travels every day on there All right. Thank you all for joining me and I will talk to you in another one very